A Life, Folded

Have you ever had someone respond to your troubles with something like, "Well, I choose to focus on gratitude and what I do have versus what I don't." Ouch! Gratitude is an amazing, and necessary, emotion. Expressing gratitude can do much to improve our lives. However, it can also be a trap. If we constantly force ourselves to put a positive spin on anything that happens, we can repress our feelings versus processing them. We can also stagnate in our personal development because we feel guilty for wanting more in our lives. Be grateful. Be tremendously and profoundly grateful. But don't feel bad about yourself is you are both grateful and experiencing a struggle. Life is full of duality and a "but-and" attitude can help us to acknowledge difficulties, and still process our pain.  #alifefolded #laineycathan #gratitude #gratitudetrap #guiltfree #emotionsmatter #processingemotions #feelingsarevalid #feelingsarereal

There is a somewhat predicable pattern that narcissists use when securing their next source of supply or fuel. Or, when keeping their current supply at the ready. That is targeting, love bombing, devaluing, and discarding. This cycle will continually perpetuate itself unless we become educated, aware, and boundaried. We have a right be loved and honored by healthy individuals. Only we can end the narcissistic cycle of toxicity and pain. #alifefolded #lovebombing #narcissisticdiscard #selflove #selfloved #selflovematters #selfloveera #selflovechallenage #selfcare #selfcarematters #selfcarejourney #narcissisticabuse #manipulation #manipulationtactics #manipulationawareness #narcissist #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissistic #narcissistsaredangerous #gaslightingrecovery #gaslighting #gaslightingawareness #gaslightingsurvivor #gaslighting101 

When you hear of someone struggling, do you want to jump in and help? Solve the problem? Or tell them how you know exactly how they feel? Well, congratulations, you are just like everyone else! It is a beautiful facet of human behavior that we want to help. But, ironically, when we say things with intended empathy such as, "I know exactly how you feel," we actually aren't displaying empathy. Even in very similar circumstances, we can never know precisely how someone else feels. By saying things such as that, we are unintentionally turning the conversation to ourselves. It is counterintuitive to be sure, but in this episode, we explore some alternative ways to listen and display empathy.  #alifefolded #Empathy #Empathymatters #EmpathyInAction #EmpathyFirst #EmpathyChallenge #ihearyou #validation #listen #listeningskills

Research consistently shows that porn consumption is associated with poorer relationship quality and sexual dissatisfaction. The idea that porn is a personal decision that doesn’t affect anyone else is simply not supported by research. Porn use leads to a higher probability of cheating, lying, divorce, abuse, addiction, body dysmorphia, and performance issues. Let’s stop dancing around the lies that porn doesn’t ruins lives. Need we more evidence of the pure selfishness of porn? #alifefolded #stopporn #pornography #pornkills #pornkillslove #pornaddiction #nomore #fightthenewdrug

Most of us think of the aging process as a mellowing season. Many of us wish that the narcissists in our lives with also mellow with age. Unfortunately, narcissists typically get worse as they get older. They lose their looks and their charisma. They have burned bridges and have a shrinking pool of narcissistic supply to draw upon. Their children become more educated and learn about boundaries. Suddenly, everything is not about them and they no longer command the fear they once did. As a result, they tighten their control. Attempt to isolate their partners more. They become bitter and sarcastic to those who love them. So, if you are waiting for the narcissist in your life to mellow with age, please know that those hopes will most likely never come to fruition. But it is never too late to take care of yourself and refuse to suffer with abuse and manipulation.  #agingnarcissist #alifefolded #manipulation #manipulationtactics #manipulationawareness #narcissist #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissistic #narcissistsaredangerous #gaslightingrecovery #gaslighting #gaslightingawareness #gaslightingsurvivor #gaslighting101 Harrar, Sari. AARP Bulletin, November/December 2025. Living Solo. How Americans are embracing independence and redefining what it means to age alone.

Are you a fierce champion of others? Are you always at the ready to defend the underdog? Have you noticed, though, that you often struggle with these type of activities when it comes to taking care of yourself? For many of us, we have spent our entire lives having to deny our needs in order to survive. But, when we learn that we are worthy of self-care too and that we are the person best poised to offer that self-care, beautiful things can begin to happen. #alifefolded #betrayaltrauma #betrayaltraumarecovery #betrayaltraumahealing #selflove #selfcare #selfimprovment #selfawareness #selfreflection #selfloveisthebestlove #selfcarewithpurpose #selfcarewins #selfcarewin

For many of us, growing up with problematic family dynamics or being partnered with emotionally abusive individuals has caused us to become people pleasers. These relationships have left us feeling like there is something inherently wrong with us and we are unlovable. We learned, perhaps at a very young age, that we had to audition or work really hard to earn love. Over time, we might even begin to view healthy partners as boring or that their behavior toward us is not really love, because it isn't challenging. But as we work on our healing, we will desire to show up as our true selves, and not settle for relationships where we are not loved for who we are...flaws and all.  #alifefolded #unconditionallyloved #unconditionallove #selfcare #selfloveisthebestlove #selflovematters #selfloved #thinkingpatterns

Have you ever felt horrible about taking care of yourself? For removing yourself from toxic situations, which may have ramifications elsewhere, such as with your children's feelings. I have and I realized that I was experiencing survivor's guilt. I understand that desire to protect your children and others from pain, but I also deeply know and believe that we all have the right to be happy and at peace. The challenging life circumstances we go through can make us stronger and more compassionate individuals. The same is true for people who suffer from the fallout of you being betrayed. We don't have to sacrifice our happiness to protect others from grappling with difficult truths.   #alifefoded #survivorsguilt #divorcing #hope #betrayaltrauma #betrayaltraumarecovery #betrayaltraumahealing #cheatinghurts #selflove #symptomsmatter #nervoussystemhealing #traumainformed #healingjourney #manipulation #manipulationtactics #manipulationawareness #narcissist #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissistic #narcissistsaredangerous #glowup #GlowUpSeason #glowUpJourney

One of the most common questions I hear is: How will I know if my partner has changed? Can people really change? The answer, of course, is yes...with an exception. Cluster B personality-disordered people do not change, because they think nothing is wrong with them. Take words with a grain of salt and look for actions to determine true intent to change.  #alifefolded #manipulation #manipulationtactics #manipulationawareness #narcissist #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissistic #narcissistsaredangerous #gaslightingrecovery #gaslighting #gaslightingawareness #gaslightingsurvivor #gaslighting101 #glowup #GlowUpSeason #glowUpJourney #cannaricissitschange #donarcissistschange

After being betrayed, abused by a narcissist, or suffering through the devastating realization of your partner's pornography use, you may feel broken. That you have nothing of value left to give. That is simply not true. We all have a divine, unique reason for being on the earth at this moment. We all have been enriched with individual talents and gifts that bring value to those around us. What is your purpose and how will you bless the world, simply by being you?  #alifefolded #PurposeDriven #purpose #purposefulliving #UniqueYou #helpingothers #helping #helpingpeople #youmatter #youmattermorethanyouknow #YouMatterAlways #healingjourney #healing #DivineDestiny #devinedesign #GoForIt #stepintoyourpower #giftsandtalents #nonfiction #nonfictionreads #selfhelpbooks #empowerment #empowerwomen #empoweringwomen #empoweredwomen Spencer J. Condie, Russell M. Nelson : Father, Surgeon, Apostle (2003), 192

There is nothing fair about the fallout of going through betrayal trauma, being cheated on and manipulated, and being forced to pick up your life after it has exploded in your face due to actions of someone you deeply loved. But is there a way to reframe the message such that it honors your pain yet allows you to heal and start your healing? #itsnotfair #alifefolded #depressionisnotajoke #depressionslife #depressionfighter #yourlifematters #youarenotalone #hope #betrayaltrauma #betrayaltraumarecovery #betrayaltraumahealing #cheatinghurts #selflove #symptomsmatter #divorce #divorcing #nervoussystemhealing #traumainformed #healingjourney

When you experience betrayal trauma in your life, it often causes resultant symptoms that can mirror PTSD. There are common behavioral, emotional, and even physical symptoms after you have been betrayed by your intimate partner. If you are experiencing any of these symptoms, they are completely normal and you are not alone. #alifefolded #depressionisnotajoke #depressionslife #depressionfighter #yourlifematters #youarenotalone #hope #betrayaltrauma #betrayaltraumarecovery #betrayaltraumahealing #cheatinghurts #selflove #symptomsmatter #nervoussystemhealing #traumainformed #healingjourney

Once you start to understand, heal, grow, exert boundaries, and improve yourself in any way, you will encounter the ire of the narcissists in your life. Cluster B personality-disordered individuals want you captive in the quagmire of their manipulation, gaslighting, and abuse. When you begin to break free, you might be a cause of their mask slipping, revealing to the world the monster behind the persona. Whenever they are called on their reprehensible behavior, they begin to hate you and you will forever be their enemy. But these intimidation tactics should never stop us from distancing ourselves and healing our wounds. We all deserve peace and genuine relationships in our lives. #alifefolded #manipulation #manipulationtactics #manipulationawareness #narcissist #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissistic #narcissistsaredangerous #gaslightingrecovery #gaslighting #gaslightingawareness #gaslightingsurvivor #gaslighting101 #glowup #GlowUpSeason #glowUpJourney

People often rationalize emotional affairs as harmless because they are "just emotional." But, the opposite is true. Emotional affairs are cheating. Emotional affairs crumble relationships as one partner goes to another for support, affirmation, and validation. This often leads to secrecy, shame, and unhealthy comparisons. This groundwork of intense emotional connection often leads to physical affairs. Porn is also another type of emotional affair, taking time and energy away from the primary relationship. If your partner has engaged in emotional affairs, your feelings of betrayal are valid. Don't let anyone tell you that emotional affairs are not cheating and that your feelings of devastation and deep pain are not valid.  #EmotionalAffair #pornischeating #hope #betrayaltrauma #betrayaltraumarecovery #betrayaltraumahealing #cheatinghurts #selflove

A small act of service on a difficult day changed the trajectory of my life and how I viewed everything moving forward. As we are navigating the excruciating pain of betrayal trauma and abuse at the hands of the narcissist, it is easy to begin thinking that we contribute nothing good to the world. But, take heart, the kindness learned through refining experiences do bless the world. You bless the world.  #alifefolded #betrayaltrauma #grief #griefhealing #betrayaltraumarecovery #ActsofKindness #actsofservice #ActsofLove #SmallActsBigImpact #SmallActsofKindnessChallenge #SmallActsofKindness #SmallActsBigLove #giving #giveback

When navigating the pain and uncertainty of betrayal trauma, it is not at all uncommon to have your body and nervous system go into survival mode. Everything has changed. Nothing seems real anymore. Everything you thought was true was not. You might find yourself struggling to seek to control something, anything. You might began to feel an almost compulsive need to start amassing items or to make complicated rules around activities you used to enjoy with no stress. Please be patient with yourself. Survival mode can be a way to feel like you are managing the unmanageable. Many of us have been there and self-kindness and compassion will serve you well.  #alifefolded #betrayaltrauma #grief #griefhealing #betrayaltraumarecovery #survivalmode #narcissist #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissistic

Perhaps as you go about making your new year's goals and undertaking a self-audit of your relationships, you have come to a disconcerting realization: that you are allowing, even encouraging, people to use you as their own personal doormats. People pleasing and unfettered helping behaviors at the expense of your own needs are often a survival skill adopted to navigate toxic relationships. The problem is that when we neglect our own needs and put everyone above ourselves, we show up, but we are often resentful and feel used, misunderstood, and unloved. But, with time, healing, and strong boundaries we learn to say no, to take a break when needed so that when we do show up, we do so all in with no underlying resentment and with true gratitude to be able to help. #alifefolded #selfcare #selfimprovement #betrayaltrauma #betrayal #betrayaltrauma #betrayaltraumarecovery #boundaries #boundariesmatter #boundariesarebeautiful #narcissist #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissistic

After learning that I was married to a narcissist, I began doing a lot of research to learn and make sense of my life. I was so surprised to read that one common complaint about narcissists is their purposeful habit of interrupting the proper sleep and rest of their partners. That had been my experience too; I had no idea I was not alone in living this through this kind of manipulative behavior. Why would someone who claims to love you engage in such inappropriate and harmful behaviors that create havoc with a basic human need? #alifefolded #manipulation #manipulationtactics #manipulationawareness #narcissist #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissistic #narcissistsaredangerous #gaslightingrecovery #gaslighting #gaslightingawareness #gaslightingsurvivor #gaslighting101  

Have you suffered issues with depression after being betrayed by your intimate partner? If you have, please know that this is an extremely normal reaction to such a jarring and traumatizing event in life, but it seems that it is not spoken about as frequently as other health issues. Have you also found that when you are vulnerable and open up about your struggles, the supportive reaction that you hoped for is not always evident? Why do people seem to want to sometimes shut down when the conversation of depression is brought up, when this is such a common part of our mortal experience? #alifefolded #depressionisnotajoke #depressionslife #depressionfighter #yourlifematters #youarenotalone #hope #betrayaltrauma #betrayaltraumarecovery #betrayaltraumahealing #cheatinghurts #selflove

His porn use must have something to do with you, right? If you looked more like a porn star, had the surgical enhancements they have, he'd stop, right? You can change and that will make him change, right? WRONG. Porn use, emotional affairs, and nefarious cheating has nothing to do with you and it never has. This is about an individual is choosing to hide behind porn use instead of addressing their character flaws, pain, shame, and healing work they need to do. Please, please don't ever harm yourself or alter your natural beauty because you are being gaslit that if you looked different, he'd stop. These are not the words or requests from a healthy, loving, and committed partner. #alifefolded #alifefolded #stopporn #pornography #pornkills #pornkillslove #pornaddiction #nomore #selfesteem #selfesteemmatters #selflove #selflovejourney #selfloveisthebestlove #selflovematters #explantsurgery https://www.antell-md.com/blog/glamour-what-no-one-ever-tells-you-about-breast-implants/

How can we discern if behaviors in our relationship are simply troubling or moving into an area where undue influence is being exerted? The concern with manipulation is that it is slow and insidious in its progression such that it eventually begins to feel normal, caring even. We can at times worry that those we love, or even ourselves, are being manipulated. But how do we know? This episode explores some of the common tactics used by manipulators to control, abuse, and exploit.  #alifefolded #manipulation #manipulationtactics #manipulationawareness #narcissist #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissistic #narcissistsaredangerous #gaslightingrecovery #gaslighting #gaslightingawareness #gaslightingsurvivor #gaslighting101

Hoovering is a common tactic used by cluster b personality disordered individuals to suck their sources of supply back in to their cycle of abuse and drama. What is hoovering? How do you know what is real and what has been made up to influence you? How do you recognize hoovering tactics? Why is it dangerous? And, how do you protect yourself from the narcissist's unending toxic cycle of love bombing, denigration, and discard? #alifefolded #hoovering #narcissist #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissistic

It is common to hear things such as: porn hurts no one! It's a harmless past time! It protects me and actually keeps me from cheating. Nonsense. If individuals don't understand that porn is cheating, they need a bracing reality check. This episode delves further into how porn is permanently damaging not only the self-esteem and feelings of self-worth of the partner but ALSO the consumer of porn.  #alifefolded #stopporn #pornography #pornkills #pornkillslove #pornaddiction #nomore #selfesteem #selfesteemmatters #selflove #selflovejourney #selfloveisthebestlove #selflovematters

Why would people who have been your friends, neighbors, or even family members suddenly start to vilify and lie about you? Well, if you are removing yourself from a relationship with a narcissist or cluster b-personality disordered individual, they have to have individuals who support and champion them, no matter what horrible behavior they engage in. Hello, flying monkeys! Why do flying monkeys exist, who are they, and what is their motivation for such hurtful and unfair behavior? #alifefolded #selfcare #selfimprovement #betrayaltrauma #betrayal #betrayaltrauma #betrayaltraumarecovery #boundaries #boundariesmatter #boundariesarebeautiful #flyingmonkeys #narcissist #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissistic  https://www.verywellmind.com/narcissists-and-flying-monkeys-7552473

What if what makes you the most attractive to others is when you are living your authentic life, healing, discovering yourself, and not inhabiting a space where you tell yourself you can only be happy when you have a partner?  #alifefolded #betrayal #betrayaltrauma #betrayaltraumarecovery #selflovematters #selfcare #datingafterdivorce #datingafterbetrayal

After doing a lot of research, I learned that one common complaint about narcissists is their unsafe and erratic driving patterns. Why do so many narcissists drive unsafely?   #alifefolded #narcissist #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissistic #narcissistsaredangerous #gaslightingrecovery #gaslighting #gaslightingawareness #gaslightingsurvivor #gaslighting101

This podcast often delves into painful subjects about abuse and betrayal and the resultant loss of dreams, loneliness, and the shattering effects from the potential dissolution of your family. However, there are joys to being single. It is wonderful to be freed from the shackles of a dysfunction partner and relationship and learn the beauty of thriving alone.  #alifefolded #postdivorce #postdivorcelife #narcissist #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissistic #betrayaltrauma #betrayaltraumarecovery #betrayaltraumahealing #cheatinghurts #selflove #happysingle #happysinglelife

When you have made the painful decision to divorce, it is sometimes easy to fall into the trap of thinking that you need to catch them just one more time in doing something wrong before the divorce is final. This can be especially true if you were married to an emotionally abusive partner who wore down your ability to trust yourself. When you know it is time to leave your marriage, you need no more reasons or vindication. It's okay to exit a relationship knowing that you did your best and made a painful, but necessary, decision and that no more evidence is needed to follow in this a correct course. And then you can move forward into your new life of peace and healing.  #alifefolded #narcissist #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissistic #betrayaltrauma #betrayaltraumarecovery #betrayaltraumahealing #cheatinghurts #selflove #divorcing

When you decide it is time to divorce your narcissistic spouse, prepare for the battle of your life. Yes, the narcissist is going to make it nasty and miserable. Yes, they are probably going to drag it out and fight everything reasonable you ask for. But there are tools to help you stay strong, get what you are legally entitled to, and keep your forward momentum forward toward peace.  #divorcinganarcissist #alifefolded #postdivorce #postdivorcelife #narcissist #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissistic

Narcissists and Cluster B personality-disordered individuals are infamous for using money to control, manipulate, and abuse. Expect behaviors from them that don't make sense, particularly if you are divorcing them. In general, narcissists are irresponsible with money, because their lives are all about looking good, even if that is only a surface view. It's important to guard and take the time to be thorough in protecting yourselves against the financial shenanigans that are vastly common with those living with a narcissists, or attempting to disentangle themselves from one. #alifefolded #postdivorce #postdivorcelife #narcissist #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissistic #financialabuse #financialabuseawareness #financialabuseisreal

Are you experiencing a sense of dread with fall rolling around, knowing that soon you will have to face the holidays alone? This is completely normal for anyone who has lived through betrayal trauma and is navigating the holidays as a single individual, for perhaps the first time in their lives. Acknowledge that this is hard. Cry if you need to, but perhaps also consider ways of building small moments of joy for yourself during this unexpected pivot in your life. #alifefolded #holidaystress #holidaystressrelief #holidaystressmanagement #postdivorce #postdivorcelife #narcissist #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissistic #betrayaltrauma #betrayaltraumarecovery #betrayaltraumahealing #cheatinghurts #selflove #singleatchristmas

Social media is a fantastic tool to help us stay connected and engaged with friends and acquaintances. It also can be a trap where we envy people's carefully curated posts and photos and begin the comparison game. It is easy to feel like you're less than when comparing your messy insides to a limited, and selected, snapshot glimpse of another's life. And, if you are moving on from a narcissist, they are going to splash their "wonderful" lives all over social media. Use social media to keep in touch, not to compare. Remember, everyone has a messy life! #alifefolded #socialmedialies #FOMO #FOMOisreal  #narcissist #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissistic https://headq.org/do-you-use-a-filter-every-time-you-post/

Loneliness is probably the most common emotion that people who are single experience. But is loneliness bad? Is it something to be feared and changed as soon as possible? Not necessarily. What are the positive aspects of loneliness and how can those sometimes unwanted and uncomfortable feelings fuel your healing and potential future relationships for the better? #alifefolded #lonely #loneliness #lonelywoman    

Have you ever felt like your healing and ability to move on is hinging on the person who has wronged you giving you closure? That the explanation of their "why" is mission-critical for you to be able to find peace? Is their apology and explanation truly necessary in order for you to regain direction and clarity as well as an ability to reclaim your life? No. By their actions, people often give us the closure we need, even if we don't like the way it was packaged.  #alifefolded #closure #closurewin #ghosted

This episode further debunks the porn myths that "it doesn't hurt anyone" or "it's normal" or "everyone does it" with a hard look at the porn industry's direct ties to the human trafficking trade. Let's educate ourselves about the truth and speak out about human enslavement and objectivation. And let's hold porn users accountable for their personal contribution to sexual slavery. #alifefolded #stopporn #pornography #pornkills #pornkillslove #pornaddiction #nomore https://fightthenewdrug.org/ https://www.reuters.com/investigates/section/onlyfans-exposed/

Do you ever feel like you are an other? That the only people in the world who are truly happy are married individuals? Statistics show that in the United States there are equal numbers of married and single people. So why do we feel different? Pain and trauma play a factor. As do movies, books, and tv. "Helpful" friends and family members actually don't help when they say they just want you to be happy...and that means in a relationship. We all get to choose our life path and what that looks like. We all have a place at the table of happiness. No matter what our marital status may be.  #alifefolded #singlelife #happysingle #happysinglelife

There are an estimated one billion narcissists and Cluster B personality-disordered individuals on our planet right  now. Why do they seem to relish ruining important events? Birthday parties, graduations, family gatherings, vacations, nothing is sacred or immune to their pouting, anger, and outright rage. Even, and sometimes especially, big milestone events in their own children's lives. But if we have knowledge, expect these behaviors, and have a plan for how to respond, we take back our power and peace.  #alifefolded #narcissist #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissistic

Whether we are actively dating or not, it behooves every single person to draw up a list of non-negotiables for a potential future partner. This list may include things like values, attractiveness, success, intellect, and spirituality. However, let's not forget about the most important part of those non-negotiables: you! You may have spent a lifetime where you felt you had to earn love or prove yourself to be lovable. But this is simply not true. Rather than begging or working so hard to prove to a potential partner that you are worth chasing, how about we decide now that if a person isn't showing clear interest, that is a non-negotiable. Love should not be difficult, confusing, and leave you feeling like you will be rejected by simply having basic human needs. You deserve more. #alifefolded #betrayal #betrayaltrauma #betrayaltraumarecovery #selflovematters #selfcare #datingafterdivorce #datingafterbetrayal

We often extol boundaries in the context of who gets to communicate with you, who is allowed to spend time with you, and how you rest and practice self-care. But, what about listening boundaries? Listening boundaries can be a real boon to individual, in particular, who are sensitive souls, are people pleasers, or who have survived a narcissist's smear campaign. Listening boundaries, when practiced, allow you to hear what people say and decide what you actually choose to take in and accept as truth. These boundaries allow us to not feel so devastated to the whims, words, and actions of others.  #alifefolded #selfcare #selflove #narcissiticabuseawareness #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissisticabuserecovery

Have you ever noticed how the narcissist has to work so hard to convince the world that his or her life is *awesome*?! Is it really? No, it's not. When your life truly is blessed and wonderful, you don't have to go around convincing yourself and others about how great everything is. Understand this behavior for what it is: pure grandstanding. You, recovering from pain and sorrow, are the one with an awesome life. Because you love, enjoy true relationships, and have a tender and giving heart that can change the world. Don't you let the narcissist get in your healing headspace with their false, and often, ridiculous narrative.   #alifefolded #narcissist #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissistic 

How do we forgive "70 times 7"? Is it even humanly possible; do we have the capacity? Sometimes, when we are trying to be too goal-oriented toward forgiveness, we make it less likely to ultimately feel satisfied by our efforts. Especially if dealing with a partner who continues to abuse and hurt. Often, we are looking to forgive the wrong person. When we work on forgiving ourselves, and giving ourselves the gifts of time and space, it can be that the forgiveness we seek to give will happen naturally while we work on healing our wounds.  #alifefolded #forgiveness #betrayaltrauma #betrayaltraumarecovery #betrayalrecovery

After living through betrayal trauma and perhaps a narcissistic discard, how do you know when you are ready to date again? Or, if you will ever be ready to date again? Take the time for healing, learning about yourself, and reflection before jumping back into the dating pool. Dating is best when it is intentional and out of the desire to get to know someone, not because they may fulfill a need. Love and attachment can be "near enemies". Dating is at your own pace and in your own timing. No one can, or should try, to dictate what that timing looks like for you. #alifefolded #betrayal #betrayaltrauma #betrayaltraumarecovery #selflovematters #selfcare #datingafterdivorce #datingafterbetrayal

Have you ever wondered, "Where are you God?" Have you felt like you have endured more than your fair share of grief and pain? That you have tried to live a good life, yet trials keep coming your way? Have you ever said, "It's enough?!" or, "What did I do to deserve this?"  We all feel this way at times, yet it is not commonly spoken about. This leads to feelings of isolation and even shame, but none of that is the truth. We all struggle with our faith and feeling overburdened and overlooked at times. You are not alone! #alifefolded #faithcrisis #betrayaltrauma #selfcare #selflove 

It's common for a narcissistic partner to drag out the divorce process as long as they possibly can. Why? Why would they do this when they have already moved on? Why when sometimes they are actually hurting themselves with their stubborn refusal to let you move forward in your life? It's about control. It's about wreaking as much havoc as is humanly possible for the good people who have had the misfortune to love them.  #alifefolded #narcissist #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissistic

You are not alone if you feel that you are succumbing to despair after betrayal trauma, a narcissistic discard, or both. This is a common reaction as a result of such unbearable and unbelievable pain. But, your life matters. There are reasons to go on. The world needs you and your unique gifts and talents. Please, find spaces of hope and live even if just for the next moment...the next hour. The darkness will lessen with time and you will find pockets of gratitude and happiness in your recovery journey. I promise.   #alifefolded #yourlifematters #youarenotalone #hope #betrayaltrauma #betrayaltraumarecovery #betrayaltraumahealing #cheatinghurts #selflove #narcissist #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissisticabuserecovery

A  key motto in my healing journey is: go no contact and live again. We can argue, prod, and beg toxic people in our lives to give us closure, but they can't. And, even if they could, they wouldn't. Gray Rock is a communication methodology where we cease to provide narcissistic fuel to unhealthy partners through over-sharing and reactive behaviors. And, it's a game changer as you strive to find peace in your healing journey. #alifefolded #grayrockmethod #grayrock #narcissist #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissistic #selfcare #selfcarematters #boundaries

Boundaries are one of the most difficult concepts for serial people-pleasers as well as victims of betrayal trauma and narcissistic gaslighting. It seems counter-intuitive that taking care of yourself first is a common practice of the most giving and healthy individuals. Boundaries are actually loving, assuring that your needs are met so that you can show up in the world present and with a true desire to serve.  #alifefolded #selfcare #selfimprovement #betrayaltrauma #betrayal #betrayaltrauma #betrayaltraumarecovery #boundaries #boundariesmatter #boundariesarebeautiful  

How do you know if your partner is truly changing after you have lived through betrayal, narcissistic emotional abuse, and/or a partner's sex and pornography addiction? Is what they say real, or is it just more smoke and mirrors, empty promises, and outright lies? This episode offers key strategies to move forward and find confidence in your personal safety. Your healing and your path to wholeness are worth the careful effort and dedicated time you put forward.  #alifefolded #betrayaltrauma #betrayaltraumarecovery #betrayaltraumahealing #cheatinghurts #selflove #narcissist #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissisticabuserecovery

Shattered. Destroyed. Broken. These were words I used to think most accurately described me. I felt that I was beyond repair and healing. Betrayal trauma had claimed me, body and soul, and I would never be the same again. But there is hope to reclaim our true selves and build a strong foundation of self-love and trust such that we can be assured that we will be okay no matter what our partner chooses or what other difficult situation we must navigate in life. #alifefolded #betrayaltrauma #betrayaltraumarecovery #betrayaltraumahealing #cheatinghurts #selflove

Narcissists and other unhealthy partners can take the most helpful and benign concepts and weaponize them to manipulate, control, and devalue. This episode explores how my ex-husband used the book The Five Love Languages to push his self-serving agenda. In the guise of his self-appointed "gifts of service", he completely dismissed my actual, communicated needs. This left me feeling worthless and unlovable.  #alifefolded #weaponized #narcissist #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissisticabuserecovery #betrayaltrauma #betrayaltraumarecovery