Are You Relentlessly Resilient?

Why do we expect ourselves to be experts at things we've never done before? I wish I knew. Yet so many of us hold us to a standard when doing or trying something new that we would never hold for someone else. Several friends have children who are graduating from high school this month. Navigating the unknown of what life looks like after their children leave is a source of mixed emotions. The joy of accomplishment and graduation contrasted with the realization that supporting this child through the K-12 educational process is over. If their leaving makes you an empty nester, you may simultaneously look forward to and dread what's next. You haven't done this before. Give yourself grace and allow yourself permission to feel all that you're feeling. You're navigating the unknown and you'll get through it.

When life changes are accelerating, we can feel completely overwhelmed. But living life by design instead of default, provides a clear direction. Yet we often feel like we have no control over what happens. That's a lie. We always have a choice (although we may not like the choice.)For those of us in our latter years of life (I will be forever young) time is more precious than ever. Where are you wasting time? What are you letting fear prevent you from doing? Whose opinion is more important to you than your own? Where are you advocating for you and the life you want.It may be news, but there's no perfect time, there's no there (when I get there, I'll be happy). The joy is in the ever evolving journey we call life.We need witnesses to our greatness and cheerleaders to help us stay the course. Reach out if your spirit is sagging. Admitting something isn't working or isn't what you want is the first step to changing. And, soon, you'll have my new book "The Challenge of Change" to guide you through the process of becoming who you were meant to be. Much love to you all - Kathryn

What is the purpose of pain? Pain lets us know that something is wrong or out of alignment. When we avoid pain, we actually prolong it. Of course experiencing pain is unpleasant but the only way out is to go through it. The biggest lie about pain is we believe it will go on forever and we may make choices based on that belief. In my experience, even the most profound pain lessens after three days. I call it the "resurrection experience" . On the third day, you arise and realize the pain is dissipating.But if your pain is unrelenting, seek professional help. You don't need to navigate it alone.

Endings and beginnings are part of life. We can look forward to beginning something new - a job, a relationship, an adventure. But each beginning also means something is ending. And endings can be painful.We often try to avoid the grief that comes with endings. But you can't. It catches up with you one way or another and allowing yourself to feel the hurt helps you heal.I'm allowing myself to experience the sadness and loss of something very important in my life. And to know that something good will come of it.

Is it just me, or is the world changing faster than ever? Yes, change is accelerating and it's dis-regulating our nervous systems and increasing stress. Why? We are hard wired to fear change. Our brain sees all change as a possible threat to our survival and so it kicks into high gear to protect us. Some changes we look forward to such as a promotion, a new love relationship, or retirement. But we often over estimate how happy we will be when the change occurrs. Why? Change comes with challenges. In this episode, we'll explore how to pause, pivot, and shift to enjoy the journey as we go through change. Hope you enjoy the episode. If you do, please share it with a friend.

I asked Google for a definition of the word "sign". This is what it said: A sign is a gesture, action, mark, or object that conveys meaning, represents an idea, or indicates the presence of something else. I found the last six words intriguing "indicates the presence of something else." I see signs everywhere I go. Not 3 dimensional signs, but sign from God, the Universe, and dearly departed friends and family. I am always surprised when people think this is unusual. We all have intuitive gifts whether we acknowledge them or not. They are part of our reptilian brain, and are designed to keep us alive. Your intuition is like a muscle, it strengthens with use.Where are signs showing up in your life that you're either acknowledging or ignoring?

What things matter to you? Your jewelry, your clothes, your photographs? A wildfire last week near where I live had my property and those close by under pre-evacuation orders. Making decisions about what would stay and what should go was surprisingly easy. - because we are not our things. We give them meaning and value. I hope I never have to evacuate my house, but if I do, I know what goes, what stays, and that my memories can never be lost.

The power and truth of this statement shook me this morning. It was the mantra that got my father through the hardest years of his life. In this episode, I'll share the story of the rainbow and why it meant so much to my Dad and now means so much to me.

Can you believe it's been a year since I started this podcast? Life has had its ups and downs, all documented here. I'm proud that I haven't given up, that I have expanded my vision of what is possible, and have been relentlessly resilient in the pursuit of my dreams. I hope this podcast inspired you to grow and believe that you can have more of life than others will tell you is possible. I'm living proof that it is.

There are millions of things I like to do in life. Being vulnerable is not one of them. I remember when the leader of a discussion group I was in told me I was most approachable when I was being vulnerable. What he didn't realize was when I feel vulnerable my mind tells me I'm unsafe and unable to defend myself. That isn't true, but it's how I feel. And learning to lasso my brain that is already running wild with worst case scenarios is seemingly impossible in the moment. But it's not. Listen and learn what works for me when my tender underbelly is exposed.

Who is living inside your head? What voices are telling you that you shouldn't, you couldn't, or that they wouldn't do what you're thinking about doing?The overarching theme of the "Are You Relentlessly Resilient?" podcast is this - change may be hard, but staying the same is harder. Too many times those the "love us" tell us we want too much, that what we are doing is dangerous, and that we'll be disappointed.B.S. That is their fear speaking and yet you may believe what they are saying is true. Is 2026 going to be another year of SSDD (same sh*&, different day)? Three of my friends have recently either gotten divorced or are in the process of it. And we're talking after decades of marriage. I am not advocating for divorce, but I am advocating giving yourself permission to be loved, to grow, and to fulfill your potential. The hardest experience in a marriage or in any relationship is growing when your partner is not. But are you willing to get to the end of your life and regret not being all you could be? Something to think about as we continue to move into 2026.

We often want the results of change, but don't want to do the work required. Why, when we know that the change we want to make will improve our life, do we refuse to change or sabotage our efforts?We are biologically hardwired to resist change. Change is a potential threat, and until we know the consequences of that change, we are unwilling to proceed. For example, many people are overweight. They know how to lose weight, but they don't. Why? If they lose weight, they may experience attention that makes them feel uncomfortable. They may discover that being overweight was a justification they used for everything that didn't work in their life. They many tell themselves "I didn't get the promotion because I'm overweight." The truth may be that they're not qualified. I'm unhappy in this relationship. I stay because having a crappy relationship is better than the pain I will feel if I'm not in a relationship. You know the version of this that you're telling yourself. And if changing is too scary at this time, give yourself grace. But realize there is a path forward to making change. It starts with believing you can.

I recorded this podcast earlier this week and went to upload it on Wednesday. Mother Nature had other plans. High winds knocked out power where I live and I've been without power (except for a short window) since. Today the winds are even more fierce with 100 mph gusts on the mountain top where I live. I decided to come "down mountain" and get this uploaded. Sometimes life is what it is.Enjoy.

Today is a very different episode of Are You Relentlessly Resilient? I've uploaded a video recorded today after a parole hearing for the driver of the getaway vehicle during a robbery in which my husband, Chris, was killed. The 5th anniversary of this event is tomorrow, December 4th. Chris' death, and my interactions with the first responder community after he was killed, was the inspiration for my nonprofit, Restoration Ranch Colorado, and for this podcast.Miracles are all around us, we only need to stop long enough to acknowledge their presence in our lives. Thank you for listening and thank you for caring.Kathryn

Tomorrow in America we celebrate Thanksgiving. It's my very favorite holiday and one that often gets trampled on the way To Christmas. Gratitude helps things grow - people, opportunities, blessings. Taking time to give thanks for our blessings reminds of the how lucky we are and how many things we take for granted. Take a moment to thank your heart for beating, your eyes for seeing, your ears for hearing, for without them, you could read this message or listen to this podcast. I want you to know how grateful I am for letting me share these messages each week and thank you for sharing five precious minutes of your life with me.

Little things can add joy to our life. They can also turn into big things if we ignore them. In this podcast I talk about how ignoring the little things can change your life focus and trajectory.Being true to yourself leads to being your best self. Listen and learn why.

Fall is one of my favorite seasons. Everything is bright and beautiful, a swan song before the onset of winter's barrenness. With new moon tomorrow, this episode examines setting intentions that will manifest weeks, even months from now. I'm back in touch with my intuitive, natural, sensual self and ready to fully embrace and embody the gifts and talents I have been blessed with. Each of us have gifts we have given. Letting go and loss are calls to honor our feelings and to learn the lessons God is calling you to lear. Don't just go through it, GROW through it.

Want to know your future? Look at your thoughts. If you're thinking about lack, expect it to show up. If you're catastrophizing a situation, expect it to turn out terribly. If you're focusing on what's not working, expect more of the same. Our thoughts are soooooo powerful! They are the gateway to creation. So get out of your head and get into your heart and start believing in what you want. And then, let enough time pass for those thoughts and beliefs to take root. You can change your life.

An oxymoron? No. It's what's required to prepare for the next level. We have to lean into the discomfort and build our resilience muscles to move forward and succeed. Are there days I want to give up? Yes. I'm human. But being relentlessly resilient means getting up one more time than you're knocked down. Be blissfully uncomfortable and move forward. You are closer to your dream/goal than you think.

You work like crazy to accomplish a goal, complete it, and it isn't as fulfilling as you thought. You berate yourself because it's not enough and then set the bar higher. Sound familiar? Welcome to the formula for burnout, depression, and dissatisfaction. If we forget to celebrate, we don't get the dopamine hit that completes the cycle of accomplish. So we push harder thinking the next thing will make us feel better only to discover it doesn't. Celebrating is important. It's not about boastfulness, or pride or conceit. It's taking time to acknowledge how far we've come, no matter how far we have to go.

There is value in taking small steps towards a goal. They just mean it takes longer to get there. Big bold actions can be a catalyst. What works for you?

It's human nature when faced with insurmountable obstacles to want to give up. We believe we are incapable of the task or of solving the problem we face. That's B.S. - your belief system. In this episode, I encourage you to give up - but not in the way you may think. Enjoy.

Who do you spend the most time with? And are they a positive or negative influence on you and your life? We often go along with the crowd, preferring to fit in rather than stay true to ourselves and our goals. Let's talk about the company you keep and whether they support your goals and dreams or keep you right where are you are.

You're probably thinking "The chicken or the egg." Nope! Which came first - the thought or the emotion. The two are inexorably linked. Thoughts lead to emotions. And emotions lead to thoughts. What is exciting is you have control over both once you understand the link between them.

I'll be honest, last week kicked my butt. Crazy busy. Flat tire in the middle of nowhere (and my hybrid doesn't have a spare). A 3 a.m. trip to the ER because of a freak mishap. Felt hopeless behind on everything. I was down and it felt like life was kicking me. Until, I realized everything that happened had a "miracle" solution attached to it. I was able to drive on the flat tire to a place where I could get help AND I didn't ruin the rim. A friend was visiting from out of town and drove me to the ER in the middle of the night. AND, I got back up. That's all that matters.

A beloved extended family member who has since passed on used to answer questions with "Why not?" Whether it was in response to an offer of a piece of cake or an invitation to an outing or excursion, his "Why not?" response always brought a smile to the faces of those around him. John's joy and enthusiasm about new possibilities was contagious. "Why not?" is an answer that opens up so many doors you might want to try it.

When life gets good, why do we sabotage the efforts we work so hard at? Welcome to the cycle of self-sabotage. It's our psyche's way of regulating emotions with an unhealthy pattern we have learned to distract ourselves from our imposter syndrome, anxiety, loneliness, or fear. Now, we can see what we're doing and create new patterns of behavior and healthy ways to deal with unpleasant emotions.

Is being relentlessly resilient turning into a grind? It's time to call in some unexpected, delightful, surprises. As we bounce back from life's challenges and choose to be relentlessly, resilient, you may feel like it's too much, too hard, to continue. We've all been there at some point . This week I've had unexpected, delightful, surprises occur spending time with new friends who came to visit me in Colorado. Surrounding yourself with people who help you to see the magic in life can make all the difference in helping you continue moving forward.

How often do we delude ourselves by saying "I tried." In a conversation with Luke Skywalker in one of the Star Wars movies Yoda said: "Do or do not. There is no try." Yoda was right. You either do something or you don't. You either commit to something and see it through, or you don't. Try to move a pencil. You either move it or you don't. This is a great way to evaluate your commitment to change. Are you doing what needs to be done to complete your goal? Or are you trying...

Sometimes life feels like it's too much. Our dreams are dashed. The one we love is in love with someone else. A relationship changes or ends. We don't get the job or the promotion. It feels like the world is against us and we are powerless. That's the time to dig deep, practice discipline, and see just how much grit and determination you really have.

Do we really have to hit rock bottom to turn our lives around? Of course not! Recognizing you have choices and can make changes ensures you don't have to hit rock bottom to turn your life around. Each choice has a trajectory that is either moving you closer or further away from what you want. Which is changing your choices or cleaning up the mess when your life implodes. It's a no brainer.

We have all heard the saying "practice makes perfect". But that's a lie! Perfection is an impossible standard driven by ego. If we strive for perfection we will constantly miss the mark. Instead, stive to improve steadily over time, and you will. When I taught piano, I asked my students to practice for just 15 minutes a day. Why? I knew if they spent 15 minutes practicing rather than asking them to spend an hour practicing, they were likely to engage. And when they did sit down at the piano for 15 minutes, they were likely to get caught up in what they were doing and actually spend more than 15 minutes playing. The cumulative effect of 15 minutes a day far surpassed sitting down for an hour just before their lesson. The moral of the story: practice makes progress. What can you commit to spending 15 minutes on daily? It's not a huge time commitment, but the results of your cumulative efforts will surprise you. Guaranteed.

Sometimes when we're discouraged, we want to give up. But when we do, our story ends. What if you decided to give yourself grace, feel the feelings, and decide to rewrite the ending? So often we give up five minutes before the miracle. Add a new life chapter by adopting new thoughts, beliefs, attitudes, and actions. When you do, you're adding to your story and allowing yourself to rewrite the ending. Take one step today toward your dream and you're one step closer. For more information about Restoration Ranch Colorado click the link. https://restorationranchcolorado.com/

When you are asked to do something outside your comfort zone is your default answer "NO"? It's easy to turn down and new idea or activity. But when you do what are you missing out on and why are you rejecting the new possibility? Maybe you don't want to look bad or feel uncomfortable. Maybe you need more information. Or maybe saying "No" is a habit. When you know your no, life gets much more intersting!

In a conversation this morning with my dear friend Mare, I recalled a time in my 20's when I rescued a drowning woman in a lake. When I swam out to her, she grabbed on to me and pulled me under, almost taking me out with her. I pushed her away and told her that until she flipped on her back and floated, I wouldn't help her. She finally did and I was able to begin to swim to shore with her. What I didn't expect was how hard it was to swim with her. Just when I got tired, two other swimmers jumped in and joined me and we safely got her to shore. Life is like a river and when we fight the flow we get tired and feel like we're going under. Demanding certainty of life is sure to leave you feeling exhausted. To learn more about me and how I handled the tragic killing of my husband by robbery suspects fleeing from police, visithttps://restorationranchcolorado.com/. Thanks for listening to Are Your Relentlessly Resilient?

Some days we're in a funk. We're not the best version of ourselves and we wallow in it. We have a toolbox full of ways to help us get out of this malaise, but we forget, or discount, what we know. In a world that rewards running ourselves ragged, one of the tools I avoid is rest. Gotta get 'er done! But how effective am I when I'm tired? Will I make mistakes? Yes. Will it take me longer to get something done when I'm exhausted? Absolutely. Listen and see what resonates with you.

On the previous episode of this podcast, I encouraged you to get your ask in gear and promised I would not only do the same - I would report back about what happened. Wow! Just listen to what happened.

Ask and it shall be given unto you. The Bible makes that straightforward and bold declaration. It also says "You have not because you ask not." Whoa. What part of us is afraid to ask for what we want? To ask for an improved relationship, deeper connection, more money, a better job, respect. This episode explores what happens when you're willing to ask and make bold requests. Are you ready to get you ask in gear???

Focusing on what's wrong is easy. Looking for what's right? Not so much. But seek and you will find. Look for what's wrong and you'll find it. Look for what's right and you'll find that, too. Which would you prefer? Looking for what's right or what's wrong.

We live in a noisy, often chaotic world. Experiencing silence can be daunting. We are finally still enough to hear what's going on in our head - and that can be either good or bad. We've all experienced the awkward silence of a difficult conversation, or have had intrusive thoughts that invade when we're still. It doesn't have to be this way. Silence can be a powerful opportunity to check in with ourself and learn how to manage our thoughts.

Anxiety is our body's warning system that something needs our attention. It can also be a useful life tool. Leaning into our discomfort is a great first into understanding what makes us anxious and why. Knowing how to soothe yourself in healthy ways takes awareness, introspection, and action. Understanding you have choices and are well equipped to deal with problems helps keep anxiety under control.

Are you getting what you want in life? Why or why not? Life has so much to offer and you can have seconds, thirds, or more of things that you want. It's about understanding the reasons and seasons of life. Relationships change. We change. Life will change. What would you like more of????

Physicists using the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) recently turned lead into gold. Many of our most memorable fairy tales and other stories are based on this alchemical quest. How can we apply this concept, accelerate our feelings, and create emotional alchemy? Have a listen and find out!Here is the link to the article that inspired this episode: https://scitechdaily.com/lightning-fast-alchemy-cern-just-turned-lead-into-gold-then-watched-it-vanish/

I listen to a lot of podcasts. While in the car listening to the April 27th episode of "Good Life Project" I heard a question that stopped me in my tracks: Are you prepared for the life you're asking for? My answer to this question is revealed in the podcast. Are you prepared for the life you're asking for? Let's find out!Here's the link to the Good Life Project podcast mentioned:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-do-you-rewrite-your-story-one-step-at-a-time/id647826736?i=1000705112646The quote I mention from my pal Al (Albert Einstein):Everything is energy and that's all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics.

Part of the journey to being relentlessly resilient is understanding and accepting conflicting emotions. The juxtaposition of joy with grief, anger, trauma, and other emotions may make us uncomfortable at first. But it reminds of that emotions are temporary and we will get more of what we focus on .

In her webinar The Road to Resilience - Transforming Post Traumatic Injury into Growth for First Responders, Dr. Cherylynn Lee (a psychologist with the Santa Barbara Sheriffs Office) has a powerful message. This episode looks at two statements in that webinar that hit me right in the heart. I hope they hit you, too.

Chaos around us doesn't have to cause chaos within us. The past week has been difficult for many of us. This week's podcast provides actionable steps to calm your anxiety and carry on.

Consistency is a superpower. When we are consistent in our thoughts, words, and actions we build trust with ourselves and others. Let's practice this superpower together!

What is your life purpose? If you don't know, who does??? In this episode we talk about inspiration, vision, and life purpose. We all want to live a life that has purpose and meaning. How do you do that? Listen and find out.

It's easy to backslide in life. What ensures change will last? Discipline and dedication. In this episode, Kathryn responds to a listener's comment about change and how humans revert back to old ways.