Curious Chats & Kind Acts

Here is part 2 of the Chapel project episode, Joy, my wife, producer Jonah and I continue to chat about our journey of renovating a derelict Chapel and I chat to some of our lovely community along the way. I love this episode as Joy, Jonah and I are well into our second bottle of wine and we get a little bit silly, but hey, this whole project is a little bit silly so it fits… and no, Joy still does not have a new kitchen! We come in when we are discussing our favourite bits…Well thanks for listening to this episode, and indeed this series, we wanted to finish series 2 with a bang, and I hope you have enjoyed it. Please do reach out if you would like to get involved in the Chapel project, and if you live locally, do come and visit us and join in the fun.Thanks for sharing our journey with us by listening, and let's keep growing kindness together.www.oldchapelcafe.com

It's here guys, I'm soooooo excited to share this one with you, we finally convinced Joy to sit down and share our story of The Chapel. A derelict building we bought 8 years ago and have created a fabulous community space and cafe on the outskirts of Chester. It was a Thursday evening, she arrived home to 3 mics and 2 bottles of wine on the table and off we went, we had our special guest host producer, Jonah taking us on the Chapels journey. And listening back, I’m not going to lie, it's like an episode of 2 halves! We are quite serious in the first half, recanting stories from how we bought the building, to getting the first grant, however as more wine was consumed the sillier it seems to get, so by the end I just can't stop giggling! A big thanks to Jonah and some rather excellent editing for this episode! Now as you know, The Chapel isn't just our story, so I have interviewed a few of our community along the way, and we share their perspectives too. Saying that, the episode starts with us hearing from Mike and Joan, who we met through The Chapel and are now key people in our lives, which just shows the power of community. I hope you enjoy this one as much as we enjoyed making it!!

I’m chatting to Vlad today, he shares a bit about his life growing up in Ukraine, falling in love with the lovely Albina, then wham, he has to make the impossible decision of should they flee from their country. He does, and what a journey, having to rely on the kindness of strangers all along the way. He chats about his 3 month stay in France, living on food vouchers, not speaking the language, trying to understand a complex system. We also chat about a Facebook post leading to them creating a home in the UK.  Vlad has a strong work ethic, and it has been so hard for him to not be able to contribute. He now runs an amazing little cafe called High Coffee in Chester, which is where I met him. He has worked so hard to make it a success, and is now building a community with other refugees on their own crazy journey to help them feel supported. I hope you enjoy this episode as much as I did.

I’m chatting to Mark today, he shares his journey of discovering he was gay as an adult and was very involved in his local church. He talks about those first feelings, of having to come out to his parents, and falling in love. We discuss kindness as a Christian and ‘tything’ or donating money, and how it isn't our wealth, we are just custodians of it. We then get a bit deep talking about having kids. Mark is so articulate, even when I ask some pretty challenging and personal questions. I have learnt loads, and it's quite simple really, you can’t stop being a Christian just because some people tell you it’s wrong to be gay. I hope you enjoy this one as much as me and a massive thanks to Mark for his honest reflections.

Today I chat to Nicola, I met Nicola as I was walking my dog, she was living in a tent in a field. I saw her every morning for nearly a month and we just smiled or said hello, so one day I plucked up the courage to ask if I could listen to her story, and here it is.Nicola is a really resilient human, she has COPD, and needs a wheelchair and yes life is quite tricky for her, she is really open about how difficult it is, where she goes to the loo, has a shower, and how she has had to leave her son at her mums to give him a better chance.Yet, despite her tricky circumstances, she still has made a community for herself, friends, a great GP, homeless services that help with laundry and foodbanks, she has even found some lovely people who give her flasks of hot water for a brew.Nicola really cares what people think, and she thinks people see her as lower than them because she doesn’t work. I learnt that by having a chat to homeless people, taking the time is a way to build community that is inclusive and in fact everyone is part of our community, whether they live in a tent or a house.I should point out, we recorded this in the pouring rain, she was in her home, the tent, and I was outside with a slightly broken brolly protecting the mike, so the sound may be a little glitchy at times, despite producer Jonah working his magic, it is well with bearing with though, to get a real insight of living in a tent, and dreaming of a place to call home.

Gaming is a whole new world to me, well except for an occasional dalliance with Pokemon Go. Atlantis gives me an introduction to this world, events where she won £10k, through to this huge world of online gaming where people can re-invent themselves and spend hours… even days getting lost in different worlds!And why, well have a listen and find out! What I loved was that if you watch a film, you are an observer, whereas with gaming, you can go into the film and change the outcome whether for the good or bad, and that is interesting.We cover friendship, how small talk doesn’t interest Atlantis, and how difficult it is to build genuine community in the real world, online, you can be who you want to be, look how you want to look, but equally, you can use it to build your relationships with family and friends.So, can gaming be described as a beautiful thing, 2 strangers coming together to play a game, engaging in that moment, then logging off and carrying on with your day, where else in the world does that happen?Have a listen and see if you agree.

In this episode I’m chatting to Dave, who I know from my day job. I’ve been learning just how complex the care system is, how stressful and scary it is for the person now needing care, losing their independence, having to trust strangers. And I wanted to understand who the professionals are, who are helping people move through to the next life stage.So, we have got Dave today! He is a social worker, I certainly didn't realise how much responsibility social workers have, and the difficult decisions they have to make on a daily basis. I also feel this is a great advert if you are considering being a social worker, he has such purpose in life because of his job - I was nearly convinced to re-train! Well except I can barely make a decision about what to have for my tea!We do talk about direct payments, see https://www.cheshirewestandchester.gov.uk/residents/health-and-social-care/adult-social-care/getting-support-from-adult-social-care/direct-payments#  for more information about these, we use the term micro enterprise, and personal assistant. These are usually self-employed carers going into your home to help. There is a link to small good stuff ( https://www.communitycatalysts.co.uk/smallgoodstuff/) which is a website where all of the self-employed carers who are part of the community catalysts program advertise their services.A massive thanks to Dave for such an honest reflection on his role, and I hope you learn as much as I did.

Today we have Carly, and she is one of the bubbliest cheeriest people you're ever likely to meet, she's my Pilates teacher at the gym, but I'm not kidding. Guaranteed I'll go in feeling miserable, come out, feeling happy and I wanted to find out why.And we cover lots of stuff, appreciating the simple things in life or having good mates and good community and for the first part of this episode it's all very positive. Then Carly drops a bomb that I really wasn't expecting. Do you know what, she has had some really difficult times and yet she still managers to be positive, still brings her very best to everything she does and I am truly inspired by her resilience - that she does even know she has!So have a listen and have a practise “keeping it right” which will definitely make the world a kinder place.

Today I chat with Bettina, she now co-owns a contemporarydance company, and has had quite the journey to get there, countless auditions, global travel, lots of determination. There has been a bit of fun times along the way, although not in night clubs! I know I would have been using my skills to do a bit of showing off!We discuss just how hard it is to make a living in the arts,and how kindness has kept her motivated and determined during the rejections. I really liked this chat as she challenged me tobe more curious in the things I do, and not always take the safe option. I've since been to art galleries, and even listened to someone’s music performance created from his own body parts… I quite liked it actually, well maybe not theweeing section, however, I digress, Bettina will certainly inspire you to want to get out there and move your body!

We have a proper treat in store for you today. I’m chattingto Kate, who I know from my Macmillan days, I interviewed her for a job at Clatterbridge Cancer Centre. She blew me away with her passion, resilience and determination, and we have remained friends since. She talks so passionatelyabout her service, I have to say though it is a tricky listen and it’s not an easy job that she does. She runs the MSCC team, I will let her explain, it’s amouthful, however, this is a rare and honest insight into the life of a healthcare professional, she discusses her amazing service, and how she supports patients to make impossible choices about their final months of life. We then explore how Kate got to where she is now, she had adifficult childhood, caring for her dying mum, whilst holding down 4 jobs, through to her office romance, and meeting her soul mate. We really do cover it all, so sit back, listen, and enjoy Kate's very incredible story. Trigger Warning. We do discuss cancer emergencies in depth, and the difficult choices people have to make.

Lori was my long covid rehab person, and we have sincebecome friends, she is a proper good egg. We discuss long covid, how debilitating it can be, and how we can help ourselves by making changes to our lifestyle to help combat the dreaded fatigue.Lori is such a positive human, she shares her lovely ideasaround giving and receiving light, and how she is happy with being content - a good 7/10 suits her!She is a busy mum with 5 kids, and we talk honestly abouthow to remain positive, and the importance of self-kindness when your child has severe depression.Her top tip is “just don’t be a dickhead” and inproducer Jonah’s words “Lori may be my favourite person” high praise indeed, let me know if you agree!

Dionne is a black, female and married to a woman. She hasworked in Equality Diversity and Inclusion (or EDI) for the police and currently Liverpool football club. She also volunteers for Ocean Cheshire a Charity who support Cheshire's Ethnically Diverse communities, sharing her life lessons and she is always selflessly trying to improve things for others. So, as you can imagine, we have a lot to discuss, I learnt loads about unconscious bias, micro-aggression's and code switching (all of which, I discovered I am guiltyoff!!)I loved chatting to Dionne, and I’m so grateful for hersharing her perspective of the world through the lens of a black woman, about her culture, why she has a love for KFC (it’s all about meat on the bone!), and the hours it takes to get her lovely braids done. It was a real insight, and doyou know what, being black isn’t about the colour of her skin, but the beautiful differences her culture brings. So have a listen and I hope you enjoy it!For more info about Ocean, here is a link to the websitehttps://www.oceancheshireltd.com/

I'm speaking with Josh today, he is the owner of Prohibition, a secret cocktail bar in Chester. He shares his story of falling in love with hospitality, and his incredible journey of opening his first bar at 22!We hear how people have given him kindness and self-belief to make the bravest decision, quit his job and just go for it. And 10 years on, another bar and soon to be a boutique hotel, it certainly paid off.I love how people have helped him along the way - decorating, interior designing, and even advice on where you can get the cheapest wholesale booze from! What I love most though is how he is now repaying that kindness, now he is in a position to do so, and giving people opportunities like he was once given.So grab yourself a cocktail, he invented the Black Forest, have a listen, be inspired, and have a smile at Josh's extraordinary life!Oh and there is a reference to Martha in this episode, just so you know, she is one of our kids, and it's how we first met Josh.

Happy Pride Month, and because it's pride month, we have another cheeky episode for you. (Edit note: Pride month was officially in June, but it is Chester Pride this month, August). A person called Archie.  I say a person because Archie is gender fluid, and if you want to know what this is, you will have to listen! We chat about them growing up as gay in a private school in posh England, which by all accounts seemed a bit tricky. But then Archie hit Brighton, and what an episode it became! I think Archie’s world is so far apart from mine, I was absolutely fascinated about their hook up lifestyle, grinder and how they had sex with 5 people in one day!!  We also touch on the other side of hook- up culture, and some harsh lessons they have had to learn. I do need to say we cover sexual content, rape and some pretty tricky topics, so I’m not quite sure how we also laughed quite as much as we did.  Maybe it was our special guest host’s 1 liners! Proper love this episode though, and a massive thanks to Archie and Jonah for giving up their time on a sunny morning in Brighton, battling a bad hangover!! I really hope you enjoy it… let your minds be blown!

Happy Chester Pride month! Today I'm chatting to Dave. We met after work in a council building in Ellesmere Port, and we spent that long in there, the security guard came and kicked us out!! Here's me thinking I’m going along to chat social work, and it turns out Dave was part of the team who started Chester Pride.  We chat about his journey as a gay man in the 90’s, he shares his lovely love story of him and his partner, and we chat about discrimination and what we fellow humans can do in our little world to enable people to be who they want to be. And yes as a consequence of this, Acts is marching in Chester Pride on August 17th, so get in touch if you want to come and join us share our love of difference.

Well well well we have made it guys! Series one is a wrap! And we have a little treat in store for you today! Producer Jonah and I sit down with a cocktail and have a chat about our favorite episodes. We discuss what we have learnt, what others have learnt and what's next, so please have a listen and get in touch letting us know your highlights. Massive thanks to Vic at Mic Media for training us, and doing so much more, and Laura at Kindness Community UK who has made  our kindness clothing a reality, and most importantly each and everyone of you, our lovely kindness community who have taken the time to listen to us… All 1078 of you… yes we have hit 1000 listens! We are so humbled and grateful, please do keep getting in touch with your feedback, and if you are brave enough, we are looking for people to have a chat for series 2, it could be you!! Anyway, grab yourself a drink of your choice, ours was an old fashioned, sit back, and listen to Jonah say like far too often, whilst I do my usual waffling (Jonah's words not mine, thanks Jonah).

Today I chat with Clair. Clair started her career in restaurants and cafes, then moved into the corporate world, living in luxury and the posh lifestyle to go with it. She is now trying to live off grid, she would love to live off the land, she homeschools, and her happy place is in the garden in her wellies! We chat about Clair’s life, and the common theme is her pure determination, which is now allowing her to live an authentic life, being fully present for her family and community. And then at the end… it always is, she mentions how she has been healed from a trauma her 8 year old ancestor suffered… yes there will be a follow up interview with the Mr Quantum healer!! So here we go, I start by asking her how she met her first love.

Kirsty talks about her difficult journey of being pregnant at 15, and living through 2 coercive and abusive relationships. What I love about this chat though is how Kirsty learnt to be kind to herself, like herself, and grow into the person she has become, mother of 3 wonderful children, a thriving career, and some beautiful long lasting friendships. Just a warning, we do discuss domestic violence, and it is a difficult listen at times, however, surprisingly, we do still manage to laugh a lot.  When I listen back, I do wonder if I am a bit flippant about such  a serious subject, I hope not, and I apologize if I come across as that. Anyway, have a listen, and you will see how the power of self kindness can turn someone's life around.

This week we're talking to Heather about her passion for walking, mountain rescue, dog training, and her extremely varied career from working for the police to working on top of Snowdon! We talk about how she has experienced ageism, and how she views it positively. We discuss many different topics but it's fair to say Heather's story is an inspiring one. Walking the 500 km Cambrian Way and integrating self kindness and resilience into her life. I found Heather really articulate and considerate as she reflected on her life, and I'm very thankful that she has shared some of her lessons with us. Heather now works for a Community Catalysts, check out the link below to see what is available in your community: https://www.communitycatalysts.co.uk/

Welcome to curious chats, how are you? I say curious chats as I got a little carried away with all the drama today and only mention kindness at the end, so sorry about that, but what a great chat! We hear from Ian about joining the police force in the 90’s so that he could play more rugby! Through to him becoming an inspector in CID. He shares stories about drugs coming up the Thames in a submarine, his near death experiences and the risk a police officer takes when they pick up their firearm - not only that they may need to shoot and kill someone, but dealing with the aftermath of being suspended and investigated. I certainly see the police in a different light now.   So I hope you enjoy this one, and a massive thanks to all of our serving officers across the country, I will certainly be trying to be kinder to police officers in future (not that I come across them that often!)

I met Helen through People Planet and Pint, which is a monthly meeting where people get together to chat about the environment over a pint… and guess what, the pint is free!! We chat about Helen’s journey to caring for the environment and wanting to reduce her impact on it.  We discuss lots of tips about what we can all do to be kinder to our environment, from turning the heating down to buying second hand… with a few digressions about single use dog poo bags, or why nature is female!  I have to say though, this episode has challenged me the most, its proper made me think about 2 things, firstly, we had a great laugh and joke about what I’m going to try, what choices I’m going to make like I don't want to give up chicken, or wear second hand knickers, but at what point will we not have a choice?  And secondly, what would it take for me (who is quite aware and cares about the environment) to give up stuff I love doing - like skiing? Or driving instead of cycling when the weather is horrid. I'm not there yet, but how on earth do I get there, so anyway have a listen, it's definitely one that will get you thinking!

In this episode I talk with Jim, we discuss his health issues with dementia and heart attacks, as well as his interesting relationship history. I found this chat fascinating as we had to swap rooms half way through, when we were in the first room, we were chatting about his life growing up, his family, and he can remember so much detail, we are then interrupted by some ladies wanting coffee so we move rooms, and as we start chatting about his dementia, and his recent past, it is like he is a different person, I learnt so much from Jim about dementia though, and how it is soooo different for every person. If you do live in the Blacon area, please do go along to Jim's group ‘bouncing back’ we will add the link to socials, they really are a lovely bunch of people sharing this rather scary journey together. Enjoy!

Today we are taking a trip down memory lane with Jo.  I’ve known Jo since school, and our youth involved lots of clubbing and drinking together. But as Jo got older and I think it’s a stage most of us reach, she wanted to explore other things in life. We chat about that journey which includes reverting to being Muslim, halal dating, not eating during Ramadan and wearing a moral veil. And this is where her journey to the Islamic faith began…

Today we explore the journey of Marcos. A former athlete turned personal trainer, as he navigates cultural identity, family, and mental health during lock-down. Delve into themes of kindness, empathy, and personal growth, highlighting the power of authentic connections and acts of positivity in impacting lives. And yes, we will be putting a clip of Marcos dancing on the socials!!

Today we delve into Twiggy's volunteering with St. John Ambulance, her transition to working within the NHS, and her realisation of the intrinsic nature of kindness in her actions, whether professionally or through simple, spontaneous acts of helping others. Twiggy recounts her childhood, marred by family issues and her stepdad's alcoholism, which influenced her career choices and instilled in her a desire to make a difference. Twiggy's story is a testament to overcoming adversity through resilience, kindness, and a commitment to positively impacting the world. I do have to say, I’ve known Twiggy a long time, and it is such a privilege and an honor to hear her story, I thought she was just a bloody brilliant hockey goalie, how wrong I was!

This episode I chat with Ruby whose extraordinary story of resilience will leave you moved and inspired. Ruby shares her personal story of sikhism,  and having to escape an oppressive upbringing, when she fell in love and then fell pregnant. She talks about dealing with various racial tensions with acceptance and grace.  We share our ‘love’ of Long Covid and how she has had to learn to accept kindness and the ability to ask for help when needed. I hope you enjoy this one as much as I did.

Now we have an absolutely fascinating episode for you today, and maybe the bravest person I’ve interviewed so far, so get yourselves comfortable to have a listen to Kayley. We discuss conspiracy theories, choosing naracists for boyfriends (9 of them). Her journey with spirituality, beliefs about energy and how this has helped her see the best in people, and she still does! I hope you enjoy! Oh and when I casually ask ‘anything else’ near the end as a bit of an afterthought… there really is something else…

This week I'm talking to Adam who is a Personal Trainer. We discuss how being a Muslim has impacted his dating life, because he has to marry a women of God.  We discuss his faith’s outlook on kindness, and how this has taught him to be a better person. And yes, Adam and I do pretend to get married in this episode…. at Mecca bingo… obviously to help our wonderful listener to get a better understanding of Nikah!

Today I talk to Teresa with all of her positive energy, about her fascinating journey of overcoming anorexia using meditation. Being a single parent of 4 young children, and her spiritual journey of connecting with her higher self, yes Teresa does a great job of explaining some pretty deep subjects. So settle in and be prepared to have your brain challenged in a very good way!

Sonia the host shares her story today.  We have had lots of feedback about people wanting to know more about her, so here she is. She chats about why she and her wife started a kindness charity, her faith, falling in love with a women, and risking her life savings on a derelict chapel she wanted to convert to a community space and cafe. Thanks to Vic at Mic Media for interviewing her and doing a great edit on what was a VERY long conversation!! 

We cover lots of topics in this one! We chat about mental health and autism, difficult childhood and homelessness. What gender is… or isn't using a lovely analogy of Italian desserts! 

Krystle, is the co-owner of Honey Suckle Florist in Hoole. We discuss her upbringing as a Jehovah’s Witness and how leaving the faith affected her relationships. We also chat about the power words have and the wonderful impacts of random acts of kindness. Hope you enjoy!

In today's episode, I'm interviewing Anthony. We will be discussing his struggles with mental health, gambling and his relationships. He also speaks about a social enterprise called The Wilderness Tribe and for more info, on that have a listen to the episode we did with Tom (Episode #4). Trigger warnings: We do talk about suicide and gambling, so just to give you a heads up. I hope you enjoy the episode.

I've known Joe for years, we met when we worked in prisons together setting up mentoring and employment support projects, and the friendship has continued. Joe recently spent time in hospital with sepsis, and nearly died, we talk about Joe living his best life with a disability, and more recently needing support from carers and how that has impacted his life. We chat about the impact being in a wheelchair has on Joe, and Joe explains why he tries to see his wheelchair as an asset and how it’s fundamental to who he is and the challenges that come along with that… like being pushed with being asked! I hope you enjoy this episode.

Mark grew up in Rhyl but he now lives in the middle of nowhere and when I visited I had to go via several farms on the way to his home. Mark lost his leg when he was 10, from a car accident. This led him to swimming therapy where he received the biggest act of kindness of his life, access to a swimming coach. And from this, he went on to win Paralympic medals. We discuss his brushes with royalty and how he started his award winning business called Limart. Now they make prosthetic leg covers, which help amputees improve their confidence.

In this episode, I speak to Shirley. Shirley’s done something pretty remarkable in her community. She started a cycling group to help people get on their bikes and get fit. Including me! Oh and she’s done all this whilst surviving cancer…twice. She’s a pretty amazing person, and you’ll hear this from just 1 second into our conversation. We talk about how she started her group, how it changed people’s lives, the absolute power of friendship, and why she doesn’t want you to treat her any differently as a cancer survivor… And just before we crack on, we do talk about bereavement in this episode too.  I start off by asking Shirley to take us back to when she got her first cancer diagnosis…

I know Tom through work, I have always admired how he has always been so open and vulnerable, and I wanted to chat with him to find out why. We talk about his mental health, and how his journey has led him to start up the wilderness tribe.  A social enterprise that gives people, mainly men a positive experience in nature to improve their well being.  And quite bizarrely, he convinces me that breathing is an act of kindness!

In this episode, I speak to Cathy, Cathy is a retired social worker, with a fascinating life!  We hear her  journey that saw her living in a caravan in the middle of field for 10 years, which included homelessness, teenage pregnancy, adultery, bigamy… there’s a lot to unpack. Then we hear what it was like living without running water, whilst trying to rear pigs who like to wallow in water! We chat about carbon monoxide poisoning, and medicinal spliffs - there’s a lot of twists and turns and I hope you also enjoy hearing about her colorful life! I start off by asking Cathy where it all began for her.

Alex is at uni, and is going to be a paramedic. I’ve known Alex since he was very tiny. But back then, Alex was a girl. So in this absolutely fascinating conversation, we go on that trans journey with Alex and visit stuff like hormones, body dysmorphia, misgendering, top surgery and things you don’t even think about when you think of changing genders, like adjusting the way that you sit! So bearing that in mind and by way of a trigger warning, we do get quite detailed about surgery, and we touch on mental health and sexual themes.

In this episode, I speak to Louise, I know Louise through work. Lou facilitated some amazing Action Learning sets for me when I worked for Macmillan. Lou is a really kind person, and I wanted to explore that with her, we talk about how she tries to radiate a positive energy and how she follows the energy.  We discuss shyness and how her clubbing days brought her out of her shell, unkindness in the work place and the challenges of losing your hair. Just to warn you, we do discuss drug use in this episode.

Exciting new podcast coming soon... The ‘Curious Chats and Kind Acts’ podcast is a series of open and authentic conversations with people, who are all a bit different.