Negative Philosophy

1. Scary Santa at the Grotty Grotto - creepy old man with beard fed to small children who are into monsters in stories and nursery rhymes.2. Shopping - really? Who needs yet another ornament. Battling the crowds for that very last toy that your daughter wanted. Imagining the pain when she unwraps the Chloe the Cat instead of the Wagalots Kitty that she so desperately wanted. Finding ‘yet another’ tie for uncle Bob. Fighting - oh yes, fighting for the last of the special brand Tom Smith crackers. Food? - That’s another story, later. Money? - Do I have enough? Can I really afford a brand new Rolex for the girl or guy I’m trying to impress? The answer is always, no - but you do it anyway.3. Sensibility vanished. Any semblance of normality has gone. People rushing, screaming, pushing and even punching to get to the till first, so they can attack another shop in the endless quest for treasure.Step back - do you see our primitive ancestors here? - hunters and gatherers, collecting what they can in a greedy frenzy, in case everything runs out. (Impossible I know, but the emotions and that sick feeling in your stomach that this Christmas might be another disaster, keeps driving you on to even more chaos and misery.) Step back - what if there were no Christmas. What if same people remained sane this festive season. I know, unthinkable. However we are Christmas abstainers. Like with any addiction, it can be done.This is an addiction, to being part of the tribe, to belonging, to being accepted (although in truth, if you were a fly on the wall when you left the room, you’d pack your bags now and leave). Tribal creatures fear isolation. They feal abandonment. They are weaker alone. When you are weak, I am strong. This is the game being played out every Christmas in the shops and Malls across the world. We are trying to be strong, to puff ourselves up to being the richest, most generous, giver. But all we do is empty our bank accounts for tat.The latest in the Christmas farce is Advent. This year, I’ve seen people posting vides of themselves giving advent presents every day in December. Not just little chocolates in Advent Calendars, but big, bold, ribbon festooned luxuries. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deborahbutler.substack.com/subscribe

Today I want to tell you a secret:Most of the things you chase… aren’t actually yours.And I’m not talking metaphors, I’m talking Spinoza, biology and the architecture of your mind. Let’s break down the sequence that runs your entire life:Essence → Conatus → Appetite → Desire.It’s the difference between living according to your nature and living according to a fantasy of yourself. Let’s start at the beginning.EssenceThis is your structure. Not your personality. Not your trauma. Not your goals.Your structure.You didn’t choose it. You can’t negotiate it. It’s the pattern that makes you you. And that pattern expresses itself through Conatus…ConatusConatus is your engine — the push to continue, to grow, to increase your power.It’s not psychological.It’s not spiritual.It’s natural law.Every part of you — from your cells to your emotional reactions — is trying to persist and expand. And Conatus speaks through two channels: Appetite and Desire.One is honest. The other is chaos in a fancy coat.AppetiteAppetite is clean.Pure.Unpolluted.It says:* “I need rest.”* “I need warmth.”* “I need connection.”* “I need food.”* “I need space.”Your body never lies.It just wants what increases its real power.But… then comes Desire.DesireDesire is the potential bad-boy because it can become appetite after being kidnapped by imagination.Desire says:* “Be impressive.”* “Push harder.”* “Fix yourself.”* “Achieve more.”* “Be wanted.”* “Be seen.”* “Be validated.”Appetite wants raw power in existence and survival through striving. Desire wants a story, a way to understand what’s going on where there is no understanding other than that we make up in our imagination. And this is why people feel split in half.The SplitYour Essence wants what is natural / Your Desire wants what looks good.Your Essence wants rest. / Your Desire wants to perform.Your Essence wants connection. / Your Desire wants validation.Your Essence wants truth. / Your Desire wants the best, most dramatic, fantasy.No wonder you feel tired.The WorkAsk yourself, every time you want something:Is this coming from my body…or from a character I’m playing?If you remove the audience, do you still want it?If you remove the fantasy version of yourself, does the want survive?If the answer is no…that wasn’t Desire.That was your conditioning wearing lipstick and it’s best dress to impress you and distact you away from the mundane.Your life becomes quieter, clearer, saner the moment you listen to Appetite and stop worshipping Desire.That’s Spinoza’s freedom:Not choosing whatever you want but understanding the machinery behind that want.So now, - Off you go.Start watching yourself honestly. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deborahbutler.substack.com/subscribe

PropositionNo thing can be destroyed except through an external cause.DemonstrationThis proposition is self-evident. For the definition of any thing affirms the essence of the thing and does not deny it; that is, it affirms the thing’s existence, not its nonexistence. So, if we attend only to the thing itself, and not to any external causes, we will find nothing in it that could destroy it. Q.E.D.CorollaryHence it follows that a thing cannot be destroyed by the force of its own nature, but only by an external cause.ScholiumThis proposition is clear: for it is one of those axioms that make up the foundation of our reasoning. Indeed, everyone must admit that nothing can destroy itself, but only something else with contrary nature. For example, a man is destroyed by a beast, not by his own human nature. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deborahbutler.substack.com/subscribe

I break down a brutal truth most people avoid: words are cheap and so are your ideas.We explore why so many intelligent, insightful people stay stuck in fantasy while convincing themselves they’re making progress. Drawing on Spinoza’s theory of conatus, Martin Butler’s realism, and modern psychology, we unpack how desire, appetite, imagination, and behavior connect — and why nothing changes until the body moves.- Why talking about change can prevent actual change- How the brain confuses “explaining” with “doing”- The difference between appetite, desire, and fantasy- Why behavior never lies- How to align thought and substance- A simple practice to turn ideas into movementYour life is shaped by what you do, not what you intend. Thought + action = transformation- Martin Butler’s Negative Philosophy- Spinoza’s Ethics- Debbie’s Substack: Live Without Illusion- Patreon community + bonus episodes This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deborahbutler.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode, I (Debbie) read and reflect on “The Heart of Practice,” a foundational piece of Negative Philosophy written by Martin Butler. Rather than chasing knowledge or spiritual fantasies, this practice asks the only questions that matter: How am I feeling right now—and why? What am I thinking—and why?Through body sensing, observation, and deep understanding, the work leads to genuine inner freedom, emotional clarity, and the ability to experience love consciously. This episode explores the essence of daily practice, why it matters, and how it opens a new relationship with your own mind and emotional life.To know more, contact me to arrange for your free half hour, no commitment, session. Deborah Butler on Power and Freedom is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deborahbutler.substack.com/subscribe

This episode continues the exploration of how the mind creates its own version of truth. We discuss the psychology and neuroscience of traumatic memory, the role of the conatus in protecting the self, and why the brain rewrites reality to preserve functioning. Drawing on research and realism, we talk about how to observe these processes with compassion and without self-blame. The mind adapted to help you survive — now we can understand it with clarity.Our memories feel accurate — but they are reconstructions shaped by emotion, safety, and survival. In this episode, we explore:- How trauma reshapes memory- Why the brain fills in missing details- The neuroscience of false memory- Why people with altered memories can pass polygraph tests- Research from Elizabeth Loftus and others on memory distortion- Spinoza’s concept of the conatus — the drive to persist- How realism helps us observe the mind without judgementThis is a compassionate look at how the brain protects us, and how to approach our inner narratives with more clarity and less blame. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deborahbutler.substack.com/subscribe

If the first part of my video was about how Spinoza broke free from the world he was born into, this part is about what he built in its place. After his excommunication, he walked away from status, family, and comfort; and chose a life most people today would call austere. But that simplicity wasn’t poverty. It was freedom.Spinoza rented small rooms, owned almost nothing, and spent his days grinding lenses. It was work that was both painstaking and dangerous but perfectly matched to his love of precision and science. And while he quietly crafted microscopes and telescopes for Europe’s scientists, he was also crafting something far more ambitious: a philosophy that explained the very fabric of reality.His life became an embodiment of his ideas. He lived by reason, not impulse. He ate plainly, drank lightly, and refused wealth or academic prestige. He even turned down a professorship at Heidelberg because it threatened his independence. He cultivated a calm, almost unshakable temperament. No praise inflated him, no criticism disturbed him. And all the while, he wrote; refining Ethics, exchanging ideas with the brightest minds of his age, and living the principles he was writing about.What’s striking to me is how ordinary his life looked from the outside. A quiet man, walking, reading, sketching, thinking. But in that ordinariness, he built a philosophy that still challenges how we understand reality and our place in it. His existence was proof that a life stripped of distraction and delusion isn’t empty; it’s powerful.This second part isn’t just about Spinoza the thinker, it’s about Spinoza the man who turned his philosophy into a daily practice. And perhaps that’s the most radical thing of all, not just to think differently, but to live differently.I have heard it said that the most holy men walk among us and you wouldn’t even know. I would put Spinoza into this category. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deborahbutler.substack.com/subscribe

We throw the name Spinoza around as if we know who he was. Baruch, or Benedictus if you prefer the Latinised version, was a philosopher born too soon. But most people only know the myth, not the man. This video is about the real Spinoza; a man who lived every word of his philosophy. He didn’t just talk about reason, he embodied it.Born into a storm of religious chaos in 17th-century Europe, Spinoza stood apart. A Sephardic Jew whose family fled persecution in Iberia, he was educated in his traditional Jewish doctrine. Yet he was drawn irresistibly to science, mathematics, and radical new ideas. He challenged the doctrines of his own faith, questioning the divine authorship of the Torah and rejecting the idea of a God as some celestial man issuing decrees. That courage got him excommunicated by the early age of 23.And yet, that exile was his freedom. Stripped of the community that had defined him, Spinoza carved out a life on his own terms: modest, ascetic, devoted to thinking and to truth. He ground lenses by day and explored the depths of reality by night, walking, sketching, and crafting a philosophy that still outstrips the intellectual courage of most modern minds.This is the story of a man born centuries too soon. Someone who refused to live by inherited myths and instead built a life on reason alone. If you want to understand where radical thinking really begins (and what it costs) this is where you start. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deborahbutler.substack.com/subscribe

Most people live as grateful fools or frightened mice — forever thankful for scraps from life’s table, or forever terrified of losing what little they have. In A Minority Interest, Martin Butler dismantles these roles and offers something far rarer: the brutal clarity of reality without illusions. This is not a book for the many, but for the few who dare to look life in the eye without flinching. Butler’s philosophy is unsparing, unflattering, and unsettling — yet liberating for those who have grown tired of comforting lies. Through a piercing exploration of survival, emotions, power, and meaning, he invites readers to step beyond the herd and claim the strange, fierce joy of understanding. Debbie Butler’s reading from “Grateful Fools and Frightened Mice” captures the essence of this minority path: either we live as duped creatures of fear and gratitude, or we wake up to see the game for what it really is. The choice is yours.Claim your copy from Amazon today This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deborahbutler.substack.com/subscribe

Conversations With Jelly by Martin Butler is no ordinary book—it tears the mask off polite illusions and drags the reader face-to-face with the raw, unsettling truth of existence. Through the eyes of Jack, a disillusioned young man, we are led into a clandestine world of uncomfortable questions, fierce honesty, and devastating revelations about the human condition. At its core sits Jelly, a frail old man whose gentle voice and sad eyes conceal a razor-sharp intellect determined to strip life of its comforting fairy tales.In the chapter Staring the Beast in the Eye, Jelly lays bare the brutal machinery that drives all of us: survival, procreation, power, and self-interest. Life, he insists, is not a benevolent story but a beast—cruel, indifferent, relentless. To live honestly is not to hide from this reality but to stare it down without flinching. Far from bleak, this confrontation offers a strange liberation: when illusions crumble, freedom begins.Martin Butler’s book is fierce, unfiltered, and often darkly humorous—a modern philosophical dialogue that fuses the grit of Gurdjieff, the clarity of Spinoza, and the uncompromising eye of Zapffe. It is not a book for the faint-hearted; it is a challenge, an initiation, and perhaps even a salvation for those willing to follow dissatisfaction all the way down the rabbit hole.If you’ve ever wondered what lies beneath the surface of everyday life—the cocktail party chatter, the frantic busyness, the shallow comforts—this book dares you to find out.You can find this book on Amazon: https://a.co/d/f3RIt5v This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deborahbutler.substack.com/subscribe

Trauma BondingTrauma bonding is one of those psychological concepts that sounds dramatic but is actually quite subtle and insidious in real life.At its core, trauma bonding is a strong emotional attachment formed between a victim and an abuser, often in relationships marked by cycles of intermittent abuse and intermittent affection. It’s not about “liking” the abuser — it’s about the brain and nervous system adapting to a rollercoaster of fear, relief, hope, and dependency.How It Works1. Intermittent reinforcement– Just like gambling rewards keep people at the slot machine, occasional kindness in a harmful relationship creates hope.– The brain thinks: “If I just try harder, I can get back to the ‘good times’.”2. Survival wiring kicks in– In unsafe relationships, the body goes into fight-flight-freeze-fawn mode.– To survive, the victim often suppresses anger, minimizes danger, and bonds to the abuser in a way that feels like safety, even though it’s not.3. Identity erosion– Over time, self-worth is replaced by the need to maintain the connection.– The victim may start believing the abuser’s view of them.Why It Feels So Strong• Neurochemistry: Dopamine from small “wins” + cortisol from stress + oxytocin from moments of closeness creates a biochemical cocktail of attachment.• Fear of loss: The thought of leaving often triggers more fear than staying — because the relationship has become the “known world.”• Shame: Victims may feel trapped by self-blame (“I chose this,” “I can’t leave now”) which keeps the bond intact.Common Signs• You rationalize or excuse abusive behavior.• You feel loyal to someone who repeatedly hurts you.• You fear losing them more than you fear being harmed.• You keep hoping the “good” version of them will return.• You feel like only they truly understand you — even though they cause much of your pain.Breaking a Trauma Bond• Recognize the cycle: Seeing the abuse → apology → affection → tension → abuse loop is key.• Reduce contact: Grey rock method, no-contact, or strong boundaries disrupt the reinforcement cycle.• Support network: Friends, therapists, or survivors’ groups help counter isolation.• Self-trust: Rebuild your ability to trust your own perceptions and feelings.• Grief work: Letting go isn’t just about leaving the person — it’s mourning the fantasy of what you hoped they could be.How Does someone get into a trauma bond?Trauma bonding often occurs because of the intense emotional rollercoaster that comes with abusive relationships. It’s not just about love or connection — it's a survival mechanism. Here's a breakdown of why people may form these bonds and why they end up staying:1. The Cycle of Abuse Feels FamiliarPeople who have experienced childhood trauma or dysfunctional family dynamics might subconsciously seek relationships that mirror those earlier experiences, even if they’re unhealthy. Familiarity breeds comfort, even if that comfort comes from chaos or pain. For instance, if someone grew up in an environment where love and affection were tied to tension or emotional highs and lows, they might be drawn to relationships where these same patterns play out.2. Intermittent ReinforcementThe brain thrives on intermittent reinforcement — getting occasional rewards (like love, affection, or positive attention) amid a chaotic environment. This keeps people hooked, similar to gambling addiction. They stay in the relationship because they remember the "good times" and hope for more of them. The abusive partner might promise change or behave kindly for short bursts, reinforcing the idea that things will get better.3. Fear of Abandonment or RejectionAbusive partners often make victims feel isolated, dependent, or incapable of finding someone better. Over time, the victim might start to believe they won’t be able to survive without the abuser, so they cling to the relationship out of fear of rejection or being alone.4. Love-Bombing and GaslightingAbusers sometimes engage in love-bombing — overwhelming the victim with affection and praise at the start of the relationship, creating a feeling of intense connection. When they later start to mistreat the victim, the contrast makes the victim more confused, believing they did something wrong. The abuser might use gaslighting to distort the victim's sense of reality, making them question their own perceptions, which keeps them trapped in the cycle.5. The Need for ValidationMany people in trauma-bonded relationships are seeking validation or approval that they didn’t receive in childhood. Abusers can exploit this vulnerability by giving moments of praise or affection, leading the victim to feel worthy, especially when they’re starved for love or approval from others. The victim often believes that if they just work harder, they’ll get the attention or validation they crave.6. Low Self-EsteemThe victim’s self-worth often becomes entwined with the abuser’s behavior. Over time, the victim may start to feel they don’t deserve better or that no one else would want them. The toxic relationship may become their "comfort zone", even though it’s harmful, because it feels familiar and "safe" in its own twisted way.7. Emotional DependencyTrauma bonding also comes from emotional dependency — the victim may rely on the abuser for emotional support, and the abuser plays on that by creating emotional chaos. When there’s little stability or balance in the relationship, it becomes harder to break free.Why do we stay in these relationships?• Hope: The belief that things will improve or that the partner will change, based on past apologies and promises.• Gaslighting: The manipulation of reality that causes self-doubt.• Fear: Fear of being alone or that they won’t survive without the abuser.Breaking free from trauma bonding can be incredibly challenging because it requires recognizing these patterns, seeking help, and learning to rebuild a sense of self-worth outside of the relationship. Therapy, support groups, and emotional healing are vital in breaking these cycles.Why do we pair with someone in a trauma bond?Trauma bonding happens when an emotional attachment forms between a victim and their abuser. It often occurs in abusive relationships, where the cycle of mistreatment alternates with moments of affection, creating a distorted sense of connection. Here’s why this happens and why we might pair with people who abuse us:1. Familiarity and Childhood PatternsIf a person has experienced dysfunctional or abusive relationships early in life, especially with caregivers, they may subconsciously seek out similar dynamics later on. This pattern feels familiar and can even feel “safe,” despite being harmful. The brain associates chaos with comfort, and this comfort becomes deeply ingrained.2. The Power of Intermittent ReinforcementWhen an abuser mixes occasional affection with cruelty, it creates an addictive loop in the victim’s brain. The brain thrives on intermittent reinforcement—like a gambler pulling a lever, hoping for a reward. The victim is caught in this cycle of abuse and “good times,” making it hard to leave, because they’re always waiting for the next "good" moment.3. Fear of Abandonment or Feeling UnworthyA victim might stay with an abuser because they’re terrified of being alone. The fear of abandonment and feeling unworthy of better treatment can make someone cling to an unhealthy relationship. Abusers often capitalize on this fear by isolating the victim, making them feel as though they have no other options or that they’re unlovable.4. Emotional Manipulation and GaslightingAbusers frequently engage in gaslighting, making the victim doubt their own perceptions of reality. This psychological manipulation can confuse the victim into believing they’re the problem, not the abuser. The abuser may also apologize and promise to change, which makes the victim hold onto the belief that the relationship could improve.5. Love BombingIn the beginning stages of the relationship, an abuser might love-bomb the victim — overwhelming them with attention, affection, and validation. This intense, almost intoxicating connection can make the victim feel special and deeply bonded. When the abuser later becomes cruel, the victim might hold onto the idea that this person truly loves them, even though the behavior is inconsistent.6. Validation and Low Self-EsteemPeople with low self-esteem or emotional wounds from the past may find themselves staying in abusive relationships because the abuser’s attention or approval temporarily fills an emotional void. The victim may seek validation from the abuser, even when it’s given inconsistently or conditionally. Over time, they believe they’re only worthy of this kind of treatment, leading them to stay.7. The Role of Trauma and DependencyIn some cases, the victim develops emotional dependency on the abuser, where they come to rely on the abuser for validation, emotional support, or even survival. The victim may feel that leaving the abuser would mean losing their only source of connection or emotional stability.8. Cognitive DissonanceThere’s a phenomenon called cognitive dissonance, where the brain struggles to reconcile the truth (that the person is abusive) with the emotional attachment (that the abuser sometimes shows love). To reduce this uncomfortable tension, the victim may justify the abuse or minimize the severity, continuing to stay in the relationship.The reason people pair with abusers isn't that they want to be abused — it’s because emotional and psychological dynamics can distort their perception of what’s normal, and they get trapped in cycles of hope, confusion, and dependency. These patterns often reflect deeper needs for validation, safety, and love, but they manifest in the wrong ways.Escaping trauma bonds often requires breaking through this cycle of abuse and realizing that real love doesn’t involve manipulation, fear, or control. Healing is possible, but it often requires therapy, support networks, and time to rebuild one’s sense of self-worth.What Trauma Bonding IsTrauma bonding is what happens when your emotional attachment gets wired to someone who repeatedly hurts you. It isn’t about enjoying the abuse, and it’s not about weakness — it’s about how our brain and body respond to cycles of fear, relief, and connection.It’s a survival-based attachment that forms when a relationship alternates between:• Harm (criticism, control, neglect, violence)• Relief (affection, apology, kindness, intimacy)The unpredictable switch between the two creates a powerful, addictive emotional loop. You end up feeling deeply attached to the person even though they’re the source of your pain.Why We Bond This Way1. The Brain’s Reward System Gets HijackedWhen abuse is followed by affection, the brain gets flooded with dopamine (reward) and oxytocin (bonding hormone) right after stress hormones like cortisol. This combination creates a powerful craving for the next moment of “goodness,” even if you have to endure a lot of harm to get it.2. We’re Wired for Attachment, Even in DangerHumans are biologically driven to attach to people who meet our emotional needs — and in unsafe relationships, those needs can feel even more intense. It’s a little like being stuck on a sinking lifeboat with someone: your survival instinct says don’t let go, even if they’re the one poking holes in it.3. It Often Feels FamiliarIf you grew up in a home where love and safety were inconsistent — a parent was warm sometimes, cold or critical other times — your nervous system may have learned that love feels like instability. As an adult, the “push-pull” of an abusive relationship can feel oddly normal.4. Intermittent Reinforcement Is AddictiveIt’s the same principle as gambling. If a slot machine paid out every time, you’d get bored; if it never paid out, you’d walk away. But if it pays sometimes, you keep pulling the lever. Abusive partners give affection just enough to keep you invested.5. Fear and Dependence Keep You StuckAbusers often:• Undermine your confidence• Isolate you from support• Make you feel like no one else would want you Over time, this creates dependence — leaving feels more frightening than staying.6. Cognitive DissonanceYour brain struggles to reconcile two opposing truths:• They hurt me• They say they love me and sometimes treat me well To resolve the discomfort, many people minimize the abuse and cling to the good moments.Why We Pair With Abusers• Early conditioning — relationships mirror what’s familiar from childhood.• Unresolved trauma — we unconsciously seek situations that re-enact old wounds, hoping for a different ending.• Need for validation — abusive people sometimes offer intense validation at the start (“love bombing”), which feels intoxicating if you’ve been starved of it.• The illusion of safety — chaos may feel safer than the vulnerability of real, stable intimacy. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deborahbutler.substack.com/subscribe

In this candid video, I share my struggles with speaking on camera, explaining why I prefer writing to express my thoughts clearly. Despite teaching students daily, I get nervous and tongue-tied in front of a camera, which I’m working to overcome. I also discuss my upcoming articles, inspired by my students’ ideas and grounded in Spinoza’s ethics and Martin Butler’s negative philosophy. The articles cover topics like the brain’s categorization processes, coping with job loss, and resisting others’ projections to define your own life’s purpose. Join me as I navigate these challenges and share insights from psychology and philosophy. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deborahbutler.substack.com/subscribe

Martin Butler’s book Corporeal Fantasy (available on Amazon) is a daring and unflinching exploration of human nature, desire, and the wild contradictions that live within us. It challenges the reader to confront what lurks beneath polished personas and spiritual aspirations—a raw, instinctual force Butler metaphorically calls the wolf.At its core, Corporeal Fantasy is a philosophical meditation on what it means to be human in a body. Unlike many spiritual or self-help texts that urge transcendence of the flesh, Butler turns inward and downward. He asks us to sit with, observe, and even welcome the parts of ourselves that are often shamed, suppressed, or pathologized. The result is a provocative yet practical invitation to embrace reality over fantasy—not by rejecting our animal impulses, but by learning to live alongside them.“The Wolf”: A Guide to the Animal WithinOne of the most compelling essays in the book, The Wolf, takes on this theme head-on. The wolf, as Butler envisions it, is the part of us that is driven by hunger, lust, power, and survival. It’s the instinctual self that resists domestication—the part of us that religion, psychology, and polite society often try to cage or eradicate.Butler doesn’t romanticize this wolf, nor does he demonize it. Instead, he argues that our failure to acknowledge and accept this primal aspect of ourselves is at the heart of much human suffering. Repression, he says, does not eliminate desire—it distorts it. When instincts are denied expression, they often erupt in harmful, indirect forms: jealousy, rage, abuse. The wolf, ignored, grows dangerous.This essay critiques the way spiritual practices—such as celibacy or the denial of pleasure—can become forms of violence against the self. Butler points to scandals in religious institutions as evidence that attempts to banish the wolf only send it underground. Instead, he calls for a radical acceptance of our animal nature, insisting that true maturity comes not from domination, but from integration.Liberation in AcceptanceRather than a moralistic or therapeutic approach, Butler offers what might be called existential realism. Life, he reminds us, is indifferent to our ideals. Nature does not care about our intentions or self-images. The wolf, in this sense, is not just internal—it is a reminder of our place in a universe that is vast, cold, and impersonal. But paradoxically, this recognition can be freeing.In accepting that we are not the center of the universe, and that the wildness inside us is not a flaw but a feature, we step into a different kind of freedom—one rooted in truth, humility, and wholeness.Influences and ToneCorporeal Fantasy weaves together a rich fabric of philosophical and spiritual references. Butler draws on figures like Gurdjieff, with his emphasis on self-observation and inner multiplicity, and echoes Zen Buddhism’s quiet, non-judgmental awareness of what is. He also channels Nietzsche’s irreverence and Spinoza’s view of humans as natural beings among other natural beings—driven by desire, and inseparable from the world that shaped them.The tone of Butler’s writing is raw and unapologetic. He offers no sugar-coated advice or ten-step programs. Instead, he challenges readers to confront the contradictions they carry: the drive for peace and the thrill of conflict, the longing for goodness and the pull of desire. He asks: can we live with ourselves, as we are, without turning away?A Book for the BraveCorporeal Fantasy is not a book for those seeking easy answers. It is for readers who are ready to look their own wolf in the eyes—not to tame it, but to walk alongside it. It’s a book for those weary of self-help platitudes and hungry for a deeper, more honest encounter with the self.As Butler makes clear, wholeness doesn’t come from pretending we are angels. It comes from knowing we are animals—and learning to live with that fact with grace, grit, and courage.You can purchase Martin Butler’s Corporeal Fantasy on Amazon here. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deborahbutler.substack.com/subscribe

Find the book on AmazonHere is the video transcription:I'm now going to ask Chat GPT to tell me about easythe novel by Martin Butlercan you tell me about the novel EASy by Martin Butlerthe novel EASy by Martin Butleris a satirical exploration of the corporate worldfocusing on the inner workings of a fictional software companyEnterprise Application Systems EASythe story delves into the culture of salescorporate decision making and it project managementhighlighting the greedmanipulation and personal ambitions that drive the characters actionsthe protagonist Philipis a charming and manipulative executive sales consultant for EASyhe excels in using his charisma to close big dealsregardless of the consequencesand sees his personal success as the ultimate goalPhilip is cynical about relationshipshaving been hurt in the past and now uses people to further his careerparticularly at Virebank where he is trying to secure a major contractat Via Bank Davidthe CFO is eager to align himself with easybecause it promises to further his careereven though he is aware of the potential problems it might causeHenry the CEOis more cautiousdriven by a desire to maintain a steady career trajectorywithout taking risks whereas mencaptivated by the idea of best practiceand the promise of simplicity and efficiency offered by EASydespite its flaws the novel also follows Katherinethe bank's chief information officerwho sees the dangers in adopting easy solutionsshe becomes the voice of reasonunderstanding that thesoftware will likely bring disruption and unforeseen costsum howeverour ability to push back is limited by corporate politicsand the influence of power playerslike Eric and Jane two technicians at Via Bankwho hold significant control over the bank systemstheir technical expertise becomes a source of manipulationwith Jane even going so far as to sabotage the bank systemsin parallel the story presents Jeff Hammerthe CEO of EASyas a larger than life figure who treats his company like a religionJeff's vision of success goes beyond simply selling softwarehe aims to dominate the corporate worldby convincing executives that EASysolutions represent the only best practiceyeah his empire thrives on the dependency created by his productsand he surrounds himselfwith people who are more interested in maintainingtheir power and status than in the actual benefits of the softwareEASy is a biting critique of corporate culturethe superficiality of management fadsand the ethical compromises made for personal gainand through its characters and plotthe novel reveals the dangers of unchecked ambitionthe exploitation of technology for powerand the consequences of sacrificing critical thinkingfor the sake of conformityum it highlights how corporate decisions often prioritize selfinterest over the well being of the organization and its stakeholdersthank you This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deborahbutler.substack.com/subscribe

“What if everything you believe about life, success, and happiness is a distraction from reality? Conversations with Jelly is not for the faint-hearted—but for those ready to face the truth.”What drives your life? Survival? Desire? Illusion?Conversations with Jelly by Martin Butler is an unapologetic dive into the raw mechanics of existence. If you’ve ever asked yourself:* What’s the point of it all?* Is life just survival dressed up as purpose?* Can I be free of myself?Then this book is for you.📖 Read it if you dare: https://www.amazon.com/Conversations-Jelly-Martin-Gordon-Butler This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deborahbutler.substack.com/subscribe

Martin Butler on Grumpiness and Truth | A Rant on Reality, Limits, and the Illusion of KnowingIn his usual style of raw and honesty, Martin start off in a self-declared grumpy mood — and for good reason. He takes issue with shallow ideas of "truth" circulating online, especially in spiritual and philosophical circles. One particular quote sparked this episode: “We taste and feel and see the truth. We don’t reason ourselves into it.” It’s poetic, but ultimately misleading.What follows is a passionate exploration of why such ideas fail us. Drawing on Spinoza and Kant, he argues that we don’t access truth — we construct illusions around it. We’re limited, bounded creatures with conditioned minds, and the only genuine link we have to anything beyond us is our raw sense of existence itself.This is not a feel-good video about higher consciousness. It’s a challenge: to stop pretending, to question everything, and to find clarity not in what we claim to know, but in what we can humbly admit we don’t.🔹 Topics discussed:* Why "truth" is usually a fantasy* The limits of human knowledge and reasoning* Spinoza's determinism and Kant’s critique of knowledge* Biocentrism, time, space, and constructed reality* Why existence itself might be the only authentic mysteryIf you’re tired of spiritual clichés and New Age delusions, this one’s for you.📌 Subscribe to Martin’s Substack or Patreon for more uncompromising philosophy, grumpy rants, and the occasional flash of clarity.Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/martinbutler Substack: https://substack.com/@martinbutler This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deborahbutler.substack.com/subscribe