Nisht For Me

An interruption to regular programming for @nishtforme this week.We had planned to record an upbeat, fun episode today to go out on Monday but, if we are honest, we just didn’t feel up to it.It’s been a long week. It’s been a long month. It’s been a long 2.5 years. And today we both felt thoroughly exhausted.So we decided to do something different with our episode. We have always found it helpful to discuss our feelings with one other, like we did after the Heaton Park attack in October, but this time we felt it would be more useful to both us and our audience to have a bit of professional help.So we are delighted that psychotherapist Naomi Magnus could join us this morning, listening to how we feel, sharing her own feelings and helping us understand why a lot of us feel the way we do in this moment.We certainly feel better having spoken to her. And we hope you will too after listening. So we have decided to put the episode out today. Thanks for joining us. Shabbat shalom - and look after yourselves.

Abigail and Arron are joined by Guardian sports writer Daniel Harris to talk about all things Jews and Sport!

Arron and Abigail talk to friend-of-the-pod Sophie about her unique perspective on Jewish identity.

Abigail and Arron are joined by podcasting queen Lennie Ware from Table Manners, to chat about her Manchester Jewish roots and incredible second career!

Arron and Abigail take us through their ghosts of Pesach Past, Present and Future.

Abigail and Arron are joined by writer and fellow Mancunian Jew, Josh Rose to talk about his Jewish identity and what it was like to move to Israel 5 days before a war broke out…

Abigail and Arron are joined by comedian and writer Max Olesker to talk about his brilliant new book 'Making the Cut', all about undertaking the Orthodox Jewish conversion process.

Abigail and Arron are back for Series 3 of Nisht For Me and they're chatting about some of the mad stuff they've learned from their kids.

For this final episode in Series 2, Abigail and Arron chat to singer, actor, impressionist and now published author of Life is Rosi - Grandma, me and our diaries at 23.

Abigail and Arron are joined by their old friend, broadcaster and journalist Emma Barnett to chat about Jewish identity and the time they were all in a kids' production of Fiddler on the Roof.

Abigail and Arron are joined by Darren Richman - writer, journalist and grandson of the late great Zigi Shipper to chat about Jewish identity and being 'third generation survivors'.

Arron and Abigail speak to Debbie Fine about her uber frum in-laws and how they navigate their differences.

In somewhat of a Heimishe Flex, Abigail and Arron chat to Rabbi Amir Elituv, the newly installed Chief Rabbi of the UK Sephardi community about his Jewish identity and who comes up trumps between Sephardim and Ashkenazim!

Abigail and Arron are joined by friend of the pod Ian Tussie with an own-brand Twixmas Quiz!

The chanukah cardigans are out which only means one thing…it’s NFM’s Chanukah special!!! Some disclaimers about this episode:Yes we know it’s out on technically the last day of Chanukah but, you know, indulge us. It is possibly our most x-rated recording to date, with both language and content that makes @abigailradnor wonder what Grandma Clair would make of it but then she is the grandma who discovered porn on Arron’s computer when he was teenager and made zero fuss so Abigail’s probably not giving her enough credit. This was recorded the Friday before Chanukah started and while the episode alludes to the fact that it has a been a hell of year up to that point, there’s still an air of levity and well, innocent silliness, that hits different listening to it back. This is because we recorded it before the horrific antisemitic attack at a Channukah party on Bondi beach which occurred 48 hours later. There have been so many emotions since then - appalled shock, profound sadness, fear, rising anger - which we are sure many of you share. But because of the chronology of events, you’ll find none of that in this episode. And maybe, that’s a good thing. We gift to you this Channukah an hour (mostly) free of all those difficult feelings and one that spans everything from dire wolves to Arron’s daughter resembling Samuel Pepys to the contents of that Duane Reed bag on Lily Allen album’s. It’s NFM’s (admittedly unique) way of spreading a bit of light and we hope you enjoy it. Happy Chanukah.

Today we are airing our interview with Dr Dave Rich, leading antisemitism expert and CST’s director of policy.We originally recorded this episode back in September, before the horrific attack on Heaton Park in Manchester on Yom Kippur, which led to the tragic deaths of Adrian Daulby and Melvin Kravitz.It was due to go out the following week and we decided it wasn’t the right time to air that episode, and so recorded something on our thoughts in the immediate aftermath of that awful day.We also wanted to hear Dave’s thoughts on the events so he kindly shared more of his time with us last week. And then we woke up to the horrifying news from Bondi Beach yesterday. A community, just like ours, gathering to celebrate the first night of Channukah, attacked just trying to spread peace and light. Our hearts broke and stomachs sank. Once again. So it sickens us to have to clarify that this episode doesn’t cover the latest terror attack on Jews as it was recorded a few days earlier. But this is where we are. We are still struggling to process the horror of it all while our thoughts and prayers are with all the victims of Sunday’s attack, and the whole Australian Jewish community.

Abigail and Arron chat to award winning journalist and author Hadley Freeman all about her Jewish identity, heimishe flexes and nisht for mes.

In the first episode of Season 2 of  ⁨@NishtForMe⁩  Arron and Abigail update us on where they've been finding Jewish joy since the end of Season 1.

Arron and Abi delve into 10 of the choicest lessons they learned from their respective grandparents.

Abi and Arron delve into the world of Jewish Dating and look back at their own experiences in that heady space!

We sit down with wedding singer extraordinaire JJ Hodari, to talk about all things Jewish weddings.

In light of the horrific events of yesterday in Manchester, we won't be putting out our regular podcast on Monday, but we wanted to say something on the matter, and this is it.

We chat to best-selling author and Guardian journalist Jonathan Freedland about his brand new book and his Jewish identity.

Tonight marks Rosh Hashanah, Jewish New Year, so in honour of that, here is the latest episode of Nisht For Me to get you into the festive spirit.Glossary:Tishrei - the first month of the Jewish new year. Challah - the nice plaited Jewish bread we’re kinda famous forRound challah - over Jewish new year we switch up the shape of the challah - we like to spice things up like that - and have round ones, symbolising the cycle and continuity of life.Yom Tavim / Yamim Tovim - Hebrew plural for ‘Yom Tov’, the Jewish holidaysShabbat - the Jewish sabbathCheder - Hebrew learning schoolErev pesach - the evening before Pesach/Passover.Shabbos lift - so this is a genius invention. On shabbat, observant Jews are not meant to switch on anything electric. So in order to allow Jews to use an elevator, the doors are set to open on every floor.Andy - Anna’s dad. Arron’s father-in-law. Nice guy, some say he looks like Jurgen Klopp.Hillel - the world’s largest Jewish student organization.Chabad - part of the Lubatvitch movement, the ultra-Orthodox gang.Shiur - as in a little talk from a Rabbi or learned person.HaShem - God. The big guy…or girl. Discuss.Hasidism - technically defined as a spiritual renewal movement within Orthodox Judaism. Which tracks with them being into the singing. Yahrzeit - the annual anniversary in Hebrew of a loved one’s death. Abigail’s diary is full of ‘em!Kichel - yiddish for a little biscuit. They can vary in filling…and quality, to be honest.Cantor - professional religious singer. If you get a good one for Kol Nidrei…chills. Actual chills.Bimah - the central stage of sorts in a synagogue, where a lot of the action happensChagim - another plural word for Jewish festivals. Who knew we had so many words for this?!Sefer Torah - the entire Torah, our bible essentially, Old Testament written on parchment and rolled up all fancy into a scroll.Knishes - an Eastern European Jewish delicacy, ball of dough, sometimes baked, sometimes fried, often filled with cheese or potato.  

In much of this episode we have explained a lot of the terms and traditions in the show itself ( it’s almost like we’ve got better at this!) But here a few bits that may need a little explanation:Kuchen - German and Yiddish for cake. Grandma Shirely baked a cinnamon version and a one with raisins that had to be served with a shmear of butter, both were equally legendary.Alte kaker - an elderly person, they wouldn't take this description as a complimentA broigus - a ‘falling out with’ or dispute, the youth of today might call this ‘having beef with someone’Cossacks - a semi-nomadic bunch of East Slavic people, who hung around somewhere between 15th to early 20th century, and had a penchant for massacring Jews.Rugelach from 'Bread' - Rugelach are a Jewish baked good, invented by the Jewish communities in Poland, sort of like a crescent of filled dough. And Bread is a kosher bakery in Temple Fortune whose rugelach are INSANELY good, all caps necessary.Shiva macha - a term possibly invented for the first time by Abigail on this episode but ‘macha’ means a big deal or someone who acts like one. A shiva macha would act like the billy big bollocks of the place.Eshet Chayil - translates to ‘woman of valour’, often used to denote a bloody good egg.Not under the Beth Din - the Jewish rabbinical court in charge of a lot of things, including kosher certification of food production, awarding kosher foods with a ‘hechsher’ - a bit like the royal warrant for kosher food.

See here for the brilliant Geordie influencer video documenting Purim in Gateshead -https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f6XTX3Dtwg0Rishonim - a two week long Jewish summer camp organised by the Jewish, zionist, socialist youth movement Habonim Dror, the summer after you finish Year 9. So many memories. Too many hormones.Israel tour - the month long trip to Israel taken by post 16 year olds from all over the Jewish disapora, organised by various youth movements. Habonim Dror - aforementioned youth movement of choice for us, majority of our friends…and most of our upcoming guests (subconscious bias perhaps?)Intifada - this references the second intifada, a period of heightened violence between Israel and Palestinians in the early 2000s.The Shema - big ol’ Jewish prayer, recited twice daily by the very observant, involving covering the eyes to ensure maximum focus. It is also customary to say the opening line on one’s deathbed…Eilat - southernmost town of Israel, popular holiday resort. Site of many Jewish teenage hangovers.Pesach - Passover, the spring Jewish festival. The gluten-free one.Matzah brei - a popular dish during Passover, involving matzah (the cracker/unlevened bread) and scrambled egg. When done right, it is pretty special. When done wrong, it is pretty gross.Mordechai - the hero of the Purim storyHaman - the baddy of the Purim story, traditionally booed whenever his name is read out during the reading of the Purim story. Nothing like a bit of interactive story telling to get the crowds going.Yeshiva - an academic institution devoted to the study of Torah.Kol Nidrei - The prayer (technically a declaration) that kicks off Yom Kippur in the evening - the start of the fast that continues until the following evening. Martini rosso not being kosher - I’ve got to be honest, I tried to look up exactly why Martini Rosso isn’t kosher and read something about it not being a ‘gentle wine’ as it involves herbs and spices and got bored. North/South Manchester divide - ok so this is quite niche/specific to the Mancunian Jewish experience in that there are two main communities on either side of central Manchester that jokingly (sometimes) pit themselves against one another, with the conceit being that South Manc Jews are ‘posher’ than North. And I will leave that there lest I offend anyone.Aliyah - the process of eligible individuals immigrating to IsraelRabbi Amir at the sephardi shul being involved - to clarify, once again, I meant in terms of supporting the family during a truly awful time. Not being the cause of death.Chasidic/ Hasidic - a branch of Orthodox Judaism that began in 18th century Europe. Very observant. These are some of the Jews that are easily identified by their clothes/hats etc.Mincha - the Jewish afternoon prayerDavening - Yiddish for praying

King Antiochus - the baddy in the Channukah story. The Syrian-Greek king who took a real dislike to Jews around 168 BCE. Definitely mean.King Pharoah - the baddy in the Passover story. King of Ancient Egypt who made Jews his slaves. Also pretty mean.Shabbat Ima - ‘Shabbat mother’ meaning you get to play the ‘mum’ role in this very Jewish game of mums and dads.Shabbat Abba - ‘Shabbat father’ meaning you get to play the ‘dad’ role in the same game.Brochas - blessings/prayers. In this instance we are referring to the prayers made over the candles, the wine and the bread on Friday nights that usher in the sabbath. Friday night kiddush - The short ceremonial bit, involving the bits above, before you get stuck into Friday night shabbat dinner. Challah - The plaited bread traditionally used in Shabbat and holy day meals. Deserves all the hype.Shnido - not quite sure where this comes from. Possibly a Northern bastardisation of a Yiddish term but essentially means ‘a bit pathetic/mean’.Purim - the Jewish festival celebrating the saving of the Jewish people from, you guessed it, another attempt at annihilation (this time by mean King Ashasuerus and his trusty sidekick Haman). ‘Masquerading’ and ‘hidden identity’ are big themes on this one hence the costume tradition.A girl wearing trousers at a highly religious Jewish school being a big no no - In highly observant Jewish communities, girls and women should not wear trousers to protect their modesty. Vosht - are we a bit obsessed with vosht? We can’t get enough of that ‘thick, stubby salami’ (see episode 2 for more vosht chat)‘Doing shabbat’ - in this instance, refers to really doing kiddush and marking the day out as different to others.Going to shul on certain festivals - festivals refer to high holy days in the Jewish calendar. There are seven major ones, including the likes of Jewish New Year (Rosh Hashana), Yom Kippur (Day of Atonment) and Passover. A hunk of challah goes to whoever can name the rest.The chosen people - referring to the belief that the Jewish people were chosen by G-d to enter a a covenant and receive the Torah. Chanukah - the Jewish festival of lights, celebrated around Christmas time.Tu Bishvat - One of the more minor Jewish festivals, sort of like a new year for trees. Hebrew name - Jewish children are given Hebrew names as well as their regular, first language name. Often used in Jewish ceremonies like barmitzvahs or funerals.Ice cream kiddush - if you read show notes from episode 1, you will already know that a kiddush after synagogue on a Saturday is like a small buffet of sorts. This one…features ice cream.Hashem - the Jewish god. The one and only. Been around a lot longer than Chesney Hawkes. Mezuzzeh - the small, often decorative cases you often see on doorposts of homes where Jews live. They contain a tiny scroll of parchment with Jewish prayer written on it. They are a reminder of Hashem’s protective presence over the house. As the man who sold some to Abigail’s mum once said, ‘think of them like Jewish insurance.’CST - the Community Service Trust, the Jewish charity that protects British Jewish communities against terrorism and antisemitism. Ivrit - the modern Hebrew languageInvacuation practice - a drill whereby all kids in the school practice hiding in place and remaining incredibly still and quiet should an intruder enter the premises. Erev… - means the ‘day before’ something.Ashkenazi - the Jews descending from Central/Eastern Europe. Contrary to what is currently popular belief, Jews come from all over the world, including Arab and African countries.JFS - Jewish Free School, a jewish comprehensive secondary school in North London.MGS - Manchester Grammar School, an all boys secondary school near central Manchester.Second intifada - a period of heightened violence between Israelis and Palestinians in the early 2000s.

As this episode is all about ‘kashrut’, the act of ‘keeping kosher’, let’s clear up what that actually means. Time to hand over to Little Miss Leviticus himself, Arron Ferster, to chat us through the rules:Okay, so, the laws of kashrut as laid out in the Torah are the dietary laws that Jews are instructed to live by. Jews of all different shapes and sizes implement these laws differently but the headliners are as follows:1. Only animals that have both split hooves and chew the cud are edible as kosher - this is where all the pig-based animosity comes from.2. Only fish or sea-dwellers with both fins and scales are edible as kosher - hence, no shellfish.3. Poultry is different but chickens, geese, turkeys and ducks are in, birds of prey and those more associated with long-haul flights are out. Seems to be more list based than firm rules.4. Even though animals such as cows, lambs, chicken etc. are deemed kosher animals, they need to be killed and treated in a very specific way by a trained kosher slaughterer to be edible to observant Jews, hence why many Jews don’t “eat meat out”. Interesting fact - Kosher is a bit like Halal but stricter, so many Muslims will happily eat kosher meat though Jews wouldn’t eat Halal meat as the requirements aren’t as strict.5. Meat and Dairy foods cannot be mixed - stems from the old “Thou shall not cook a kid in its mother’s milk”. As with all Jewish laws, these lines from the bible have been extrapolated out down the centuries by rabbis to the laws we have today. And here are some other terms thrown about that might be need a little clarification:‘Glatt in the flat’ - Another Ian Tussie-ism (and no, he is not sponsoring the show). ‘Glatt’ is actually the Yiddish word for smooth but colloquially it is used to describe something that is ‘unquestionably kosher’.Treif - animals deemed forbidden under Jewish dietary laws.Chedar - Jewish sunday school. Midrash - rabbinic commentary explaining the teachings of the Torah. Shomer shabbat - a term to describe people who observe the rules of the Jewish sabbath from Friday night until it ends Saturday night. So this means no TV, no driving, no writing, no shopping, no doom scrolling, no pushing buttons to make things work. Frum - religious/more observantBeth din - Jewish courts. One of their roles to oversee kosher certification of food production, awarding kosher foods with a ‘hechsher’ - a bit like the royal warrant for kosher food.Erev Kol Nidrei - ‘erev’ refers to the day before something. So Sunday is technically erev Monday. Kol Nidrei is the night service of Yom Kippur, the day of atonement. The big one. The holiest day of the year where Jew fast and ask for forgiveness for their wrongdoing.Chazza - slang/abbreviation for ‘chazerai’ which is another term for ‘treif’. Mikveh - a Jewish ritual bath used for ‘purification’ and ‘cleansing’. Frum Jewish women go regularly but lightweight Jews (like Abigail) tend to only go once, before marriage.Eilat - holiday resort in southern Israel. Vorsht - oh how to describe vosht? It is like a thick, stubby kosher salami of sorts. Yum.Kabanos sausages - shrivelled, dry, smoked turkey sausage. Yet another kosher ‘delicacy’.Chutzpah - lots of meanings for this word but often used to describe cheek or audacity or gall.Pesach - passover, during which we eat no bread…and a lot of matzah (unleavened bread)Kosher le pesach - something that is kosher for passover. Kippah - skull cap, the thing Jewish men (and some women) wear on their heads all the time if observant and only at shul or religious ceremonies if not. The Portnoy kids - you guessed it, offspring of Rabbi PortnoyShtetl - Yiddish for a small Jewish village in Eastern Europe, prominent in the 19th and the early 20th centuries, before shit went down.KD - King David primary school.Ein kalehuni adon olam - shorthand for ‘The End’, referring to the last two songs at the end of Shabbat service.

Welcome to Nisht for Me, the brand new podcast exploring the ins, outs and wonderfully batshit crazy of British Jewish culture. While some of our listeners may be well versed in British Jewish parlance, we want this podcast to be as inclusive as possible so below is a short glossary of terms that might be a little unfamiliar to some. If you have a little shmy (look) you’ll be able to yachni (chat) like a macha (big deal) in no time.Nisht for Me – Example of one of those Yiddish/English phrases that gets to the heart of an opinion. Best translated as ‘not for me’ and used to describe something that may well be popular amongst others, but just doesn’t work for the person ‘nishting’ (just made that verb up, let’s roll with it)Shtetl – Yiddish for a small Jewish town or village in Eastern Europe, prominent in the 19th and the early 20th centuries, before shit went down.BRCA – a genetic mutation increasing risk of cancer. People with Jewish ancestry, especially Ashkenazi Jews, have a higher prevalence of BRCA 1 and BRCA 2 compared to the general population. Gives a whole new meaning to the ‘Chosen People.’Shvitz – very very hot, lending itself to the unbeatable verb ‘shvitzing’.Shul – synagogue, a Jewish house of worship.Theodore Herzl – Austro-Hungarian Jewish journalist and lawyer who spearheaded the modern Zionist movement.Hale – a suburb of South Manchester. The Ten Commandments – The religious covenant, according to the Old Testament, handed to Moses by G-d, carved into two tablets of stone. Ranges from ‘You shall not take the Lord’s name in vain’ to ‘You shall not kill’ so a bit of an ethical spectrum.Bubbelah – Jewish term of endearment, a favourite of Jewish grandmothers.Baruch Hashem – Jewish way of saying ‘Thank G-d’Shmuckling – Yiddish for a bit of wheeling and dealing. Or at least that was how it was used the Radnor household.Yachniying – a good old chinwagKD juniors – Jewish primary school in North Manchester, where the more secular Jewish families send their kids.Barmitzvah – coming of age ceremony for Jewish boys, age 13.Batmitzvah – the coming of age ceremony for Jewish girls, age 12. Insert joke about slower maturity levels in males here.The Midland – the Midland hotel, in central Manchester, very posh and fancy. Incidentally Mr Rolls first met Mr Royce here.Sem – short for Seminary, post-secondary school programmes for very religious Jewish women, often in Israel.Yiddishisms – Yiddish terms. Expect a lot of them in this podcast.Shiva house – Jewish house of mourning, where the family of the deceased gathers, immediately after the funeral, to receive visitors who wish to pay tribute to the person who has passed.Shiva sitter – a person taking part in the shiva process, which can last up to a week. Chuppah – the canopy under which a Jewish marriage ceremony takes place, the term is often used as shorthand for the ceremony itself eg ‘that Chuppah was a bit long and dull, wasn’t it?’, said no one ever.Bracha – a Jewish prayer / blessingTorah – the five books of the Old Testament, meticulously written on parchment scroll to be used in the synagogue.Ein Kelahainu, adon olam – shorthand for end of Shabbat morning service, citing the last two songs sung.Tallis bags – the bag in which Jewish men (and some women) carry their Tallisem (prayer shawls) worn throughout the shul service.Adon olam – the Jewish hymn often sung to conclude the Shabbat service at synagogue. Different tunes abound. Everyone has their favourites.Kiddish – a small spread of food served after a Shabbat morning service in synagogue. Expect small biscuits (kichels), bridge rolls, like tiny open finger sandwiches topped with the likes of smoked salmon, egg, tuna...and some interesting aromas.Palwin – kosher sweet wine, used in Jewish ceremonial practices. Drunk by the sip, not the glass...unless you want to gag.