Peace, Love, and Psychology

Send us Fan MailAnger is one of the least understood and appreciated of the primary human emotions. Like all energy in the universe, anger, in the form of electrical and chemical energy, does not just go away on its own. When we try to ignore it, push it away, or pretend we don't see it, anger builds up inside of us. It affects our minds, distorting our thoughts and our moods. It affects our bodies, raising our stress, driving up blood pressure, lowering our immune response, and exhausting us. If we neglect it for too long, it can blow up in unexpected ways, shattering relationships and holding us back in life. Thankfully, the technology for defusing the anger bomb is straightforward and accessible to everyone. In today’s episode, we discuss the three primary ways anger issues walk into the therapy room, in the form of three general models of angry people: the Angry Person, the People Pleaser, and the Emotionally Numb Person. We look at the characteristics of each of these archetypes and explore how these behaviors come into being. We also delve into the mindset behind these behavioral strategies.You may recognize some or all of these characteristics in your own life. In listening to today’s show, you will gain insight into where your anger comes from and what it really means. We will conclude with a hopeful message about the the direction to take to disarm it once and for all.Support the showThank you for listening!For more information, visit: www.drdanraker.comPlease subscribe and share with your friends.Just Published! Dr. Raker's new book, Disarm the Bomb! Defuse ANGER Before it Derails Your Life, along with the Workbook & Study Guide, are now available at www.drdanraker.com.Recorded on the Western Slope of the Rocky Mountains, Colorado, USA.CLICK HERE to support Peace, Love, & Psychology Podcast.

Send us Fan MailHow we treat ourselves—our self-talk, our self-criticism, and the attributions we make about our emotional state—is one of the most significant determining factors that affects our emotional well-being and our functioning in life. Over the course of three seasons of Peace, Love, & Psychology podcasts, we have discussed how to understand and address issues such as emotions, cognitions, trauma, relationship patterns, communication, forgiveness, and more. This episode focuses on what is often the missing ingredient in breaking free of negative patterns and beginning to experience healing on a deeper, lasting level: unlocking the true potential of our imagination.First, we review the role that emotions and cognition play in providing crucial feedback about our needs and desires in real time. We discuss how we can tap into the information our feelings provide about what might be missing or going wrong in our lives. We discuss how we can identify repetitive thoughts in order to better understand ourselves.Next, we explore how unexpressed emotion and undisciplined thinking often work together to create and perpetuate unhealthy patterns in our lives. We discuss how this interaction leads to a narrowing of our viewpoint, creates a false sense of control and mastery, and leads us to shut the door on possible solutions. We examine why recovery from any number of problematic habits often starts with admitting that we may not have all the answers, By approaching our predicament with humility, we open ourselves up to fresh perspectives and input, paving the way toward freedom from old patterns.Finally, we discuss the critical role that our imagination plays in breaking free from negative cycles. In our modern culture, imagination is often seen as a childish activity that is synonymous with escapism and distraction. We dig into the roots of imagination as a concept in order to unleash the enormous potential power for positive change it offers. We highlight some practical applications in order to harness the power of your imagination for positive changeBy cultivating a deeper understanding of and appreciation for the potential contained in our imagination, we can leverage this gift to break through unhealthy patterns, bring balance to our emotions and cognitions, and finally fix our broken relationship with ourselves.Support the showThank you for listening!For more information, visit: www.drdanraker.comPlease subscribe and share with your friends.Just Published! Dr. Raker's new book, Disarm the Bomb! Defuse ANGER Before it Derails Your Life, along with the Workbook & Study Guide, are now available at www.drdanraker.com.Recorded on the Western Slope of the Rocky Mountains, Colorado, USA.CLICK HERE to support Peace, Love, & Psychology Podcast.

Send us Fan MailA very common issue many of us struggle with is the apparent conflict between our logical minds and our feelings. There are times when the tension between what we think is logical or right and what we feel is like a perpetual tug-of-war. In this episode, we discuss the classic struggle between head and heart.We begin by discussing the dimensions of the conflict. We explore how we might know that a particular course of action is the right thing to do, but we struggle with desires or feelings that oppose that course of action. The result is an internal conflict that often leaves us doubting and second-guessing ourselves no matter which path we choose. We examine how this internal struggle can lead to conflict in our relationships. When emotion overrules logic, we might say or do things that can lead to hurting others and feeling guilty. When logic overrules our emotions, we sometimes run the risk of building up resentments toward other people.In order to make peace within ourselves, many instinctively choose to side either with logic or emotion. Unforntunetly, neither of these strategies lead to internal peace or interpersonal harmony in the long run. There are negative consequences to choosing sides and using a winner-take-all approach.The answer to ending the war between logic and emotion is to replace this broken either-or model with a more accurate and useful model. We must understand the proper role and function of systematic thinking, and we must contrast this with an understanding of the proper role and function of emotions. This understanding helps us see how the two faculties are designed to provide us with different tools for grasping and navigating reality.With a proper understanding of each, we can learn to use our executive functioning to integrate our logical mind with our emotions. By learning and practicing the skill using our executive function, we become better at listening to our feelings and integrating that information into our decision-making process. A deeper understanding that appreciates the differences between systematic thinking and feelings can empower us to make better use of each faculty, leading to an improved ability to make decisions and bringing a lasting peace between our mind and our heart.Support the showThank you for listening!For more information, visit: www.drdanraker.comPlease subscribe and share with your friends.Just Published! Dr. Raker's new book, Disarm the Bomb! Defuse ANGER Before it Derails Your Life, along with the Workbook & Study Guide, are now available at www.drdanraker.com.Recorded on the Western Slope of the Rocky Mountains, Colorado, USA.CLICK HERE to support Peace, Love, & Psychology Podcast.

Send us Fan MailThe issue of narcissism has found its way into the culture as a popular topic in the realm of intimate relationships, work relationships, and family dynamics. In this episode, we examine the topic from the perspective of what it means to be parented by someone with narcissistic traits. We begin our exploration with an overview of what narcissism is. We review the criteria in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders that determine whether or not an individual meets the standard to be diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. We then discuss where narcissism fits within the spectrum of human development over the lifespan and highlight periods in a normal life where people might be excessively focused on themselves. We will briefly touch on the role narcissism plays in psychopathy and the 'Dark Triad' before examining the root that underlies the very concept of narcissism, the Myth of Narcissus. This first part of our journey brings us to a more useful way to approach the topic of being parented by a narcissist by clarifying its functional definition.Armed with a working framework, we then turn the conversation toward characteristics that accompany being raised by a narcissistic parent. When a parent is excessively focused on their own needs over the needs of their children, certain patterns emerge. First, we look at typical behaviors that a parent with these traits will engage in as they raise children. All parents will make mistakes during child-raising, but parents with narcissistic behaviors tend to fail at effective parenting in certain predictable ways. We look at seven of the most common ways a narcissistic parent can hamper healthy childhood development. Second, we look at how these typical, maladaptive parenting behaviors can affect an adult who was raised by a narcissistic parent. We discuss several characteristic outcomes we may face in adulthood when one or both of our parents suffered from narcissistic traits and behaviors. Finally, we turn to consideration of the key domains that are often a focus in psychotherapy with an adult who was raised by a narcissistic parent. These areas represent normal developmental milestones and the key information and skill sets that the adult child of a narcissistic parent may have missed out on. It is encouraging that, as healing begins in any one of these domains, it has a positive effect on all of the other areas. Recovery can be swift and profound as a person learns to incorporate new understanding and an effective set of skills. As an adult, a person can access a rich array of resource materials on how to cope with having been raised narcissistic parent and begin their healing journey on their own or in psychotherapy with a trusted professional.Even those adults who were exposed to the most toxic levels of narcissistic parenting can learn to navigate life challenges and relationships with more confidence anSupport the showThank you for listening!For more information, visit: www.drdanraker.comPlease subscribe and share with your friends.Just Published! Dr. Raker's new book, Disarm the Bomb! Defuse ANGER Before it Derails Your Life, along with the Workbook & Study Guide, are now available at www.drdanraker.com.Recorded on the Western Slope of the Rocky Mountains, Colorado, USA.CLICK HERE to support Peace, Love, & Psychology Podcast.

Send us Fan MailIn this episode we continue the discussion about recent advances in understanding and treating neuroplastic pain. Pain can exist on a spectrum between purely structural and purely neuroplastic, and many types of chronic pain might involve elements of both. We explore different clinical indicators that can point to the role of learning and neuroplasticity in the development of chronic pain. Although there is not currently a reliable survey or measure to definitively distinguish structural pain from neuroplastic pain, the presence of any of these indicators suggests that there may be a significant neuroplastic component to a patient’s pain experience, which likely means that a person would benefit from psychotherapeutic interventions designed to reset the neurophysiological alarm system and help that patient un-learn being in constant pain and discomfort. Next, we briefly review the role that pain management techniques can play in helping a patient learn to cope with the stress of being in constant pain. Unfortunately, the process of seeking care for chronic pain can strain a person’s support system and their relationships with family, friends, and the medical team that is treating them. Pain management therapies seek to reduce the stress associated with the role of patient and empower the person to advocate for better and more effective support from the important people in their life.We then turn our attention to pain recovery therapies by discussing the cutting edge of pain psychology, Pain Reprocessing Therapy. We provide an overview of three of the main phases of PRT by discussing the important role of initial psychoeducation, the subsequent training of the patient to engage in somatic tracking, and the management of relapses. Psychoeducation helps the patient understand why they are experiencing chronic pain and provides them with evidence that supports the use of the PRT techniques. Somatic tracking, a technique used in several other mind-body approaches, is a central strategy in PRT. The way it is applied in PRT consists of learning to practice the skills of mindfulness, safety reappraisal, and positive affect induction. When a patient is trained in these skills and begins to practice them, they typically experience a reduction or cessation of their chronic pain. However, there may be a time when a person experiences a new injury or when their pain returns in some form. Relapses are so common that clinicians have recognized that there are three distinct stages involved. We will examine the stages of relapse and explore how these events can actually be leveraged to reinforce the positive effects of re-training the brain to respond differently to pain signals. Paradoxically, relapse episodes often serve to strengthen the long-term effectiveness of pain recovery techniques.Exciting new developments in neurophysiology  have paved the way for cutting edge psychotherapy techniques that can help you to better maSupport the showThank you for listening!For more information, visit: www.drdanraker.comPlease subscribe and share with your friends.Just Published! Dr. Raker's new book, Disarm the Bomb! Defuse ANGER Before it Derails Your Life, along with the Workbook & Study Guide, are now available at www.drdanraker.com.Recorded on the Western Slope of the Rocky Mountains, Colorado, USA.CLICK HERE to support Peace, Love, & Psychology Podcast.

Send us Fan MailRecent developments in the area of neuropsychology have highlighted the role of neuroplasticity in the perception of chronic pain. In this episode we will first examine current research about neuroplasticity and how it relates to the perception of sensations within the body and the interpretation of these sensations as chronic pain. The long-standing neuroscientific principle, “neurons that fire together, wire together,” will be explored in its application to the phenomenon of ongoing pain.Next, we will take an in-depth look at what pain is. We will discuss the differences between acute and chronic pain and explore what the purpose of pain is in terms of its function in human survival. Contrary to popular belief, there is not one “pain center” in the brain that is responsible for our experience of it. Recent research has highlighted over 40 different regions of the brain involved with sensing, interpreting, and either increasing or decreasing our perceived level of pain. As the acute pain of an injury begins to resolve and becomes chronic pain that persists over time, different regions of the brain become involved. From this recent research we have begun to understand the role that narrative, meaning-making, and attention play in facilitating the persistence of chronic pain. The dramatic case of a worker being injured on a job site will be discussed as it highlights the role of narrative in shaping our experience of pain. Finally, we will take a look at the pain/fear cycle. We will discuss research that highlights key aspects of the epidemic of chronic back pain, which is the leading cause of disability designations in the United States. We will also briefly touch on several excellent resources that are recommended if you would like to learn more about chronic pain the role of neuroplasticity, and current thinking about effective treatment for chronic pain.A better understanding of the role neuroplasticity plays in the perception of pain facilitates the effective use of psychological interventions for managing and potentially recovering from chronic pain.Support the showThank you for listening!For more information, visit: www.drdanraker.comPlease subscribe and share with your friends.Just Published! Dr. Raker's new book, Disarm the Bomb! Defuse ANGER Before it Derails Your Life, along with the Workbook & Study Guide, are now available at www.drdanraker.com.Recorded on the Western Slope of the Rocky Mountains, Colorado, USA.CLICK HERE to support Peace, Love, & Psychology Podcast.

Send us Fan MailDo you want to gain insight into the meaning of your anger and master it once and for all? Dr. Raker's new book, Disarm the Bomb! Defuse ANGER Before it Derails Your Life, along with the Workbook & Study Guide, are now available at www.drdanraker.com.Now we will take an in-depth look at one of the most controversial and difficult emotions for most people to experience: anger. Anger directed either at ourselves or in relation to other people is often at the core of many different issues that people bring into therapy. In today’s episode, we will start our exploration by delving first into the question, What is anger? We will consider how it is a primary human emotion that is observed across all cultures and across the lifespan. We will discuss what anger represents emotionally as well as what happens to our neurophysiology when we experience anger.Next, we will discuss how anger as a universal emotion is directly linked to the nature of needs fulfillment. We will discuss how the idea of fulfilling our competing needs drives the very organization of society. We will observe briefly how all cultures must come to terms with the interaction between anger and needs. We will also explore the distinction between righteous anger and selfish anger.Bringing the focus back to our personal lives, we will next explore how anger and its expression takes on personal meaning in each of our lives. We discuss how we are each trained to cope with our needs, and thus how to express anger, based on our earliest childhood experiences and in the countless interactions with our caregivers and environment. Next, we will explore how these early childhood experiences lead to several different, distinctive presentations of anger in adulthood. Anger often comes into the therapy room in one of several characteristic ways, and we will unpack these presentations and discuss what they tell us about our personal orientation to the emotion of anger and to getting our needs fulfilled.Finally, we will discuss how we can begin to develop ways of dealing with our anger that will allow it to fulfill its proper and healthy function and not to pose a threat to our well-being or our relationships.The emotion of anger is the natural response to recognizing that our needs are not being met. We can learn to manage this emotional activation and create new and healthy ways for us to identify, express, and negotiate in order to have our needs met in life.Support the showThank you for listening!For more information, visit: www.drdanraker.comPlease subscribe and share with your friends.Just Published! Dr. Raker's new book, Disarm the Bomb! Defuse ANGER Before it Derails Your Life, along with the Workbook & Study Guide, are now available at www.drdanraker.com.Recorded on the Western Slope of the Rocky Mountains, Colorado, USA.CLICK HERE to support Peace, Love, & Psychology Podcast.

Send us Fan MailIn this episode, we explore two fundamental principles in Clinical Psychology that have far-ranging implications for the way we feel, think, and relate to other people. These ideas are simple to understand, but they play an important role in diagnosing and treating a wide variety of mental disorders.First, we discuss the concept of Needs Fulfillment. All living organisms are engaged in a lifelong struggle to meet their needs, and human beings are no different. We examine the array of needs humans have using the famous model developed by Psychologist Abraham Maslow. We explore the levels of his famous Hierarchy of Needs and explain how the concept of levels is relevant to understanding the ways in which we go about getting our needs met. We discuss how the concept of needs fulfillment provides a framework for understanding the most basic questions people bring into therapy: Why do people do what they do? and, Why do I do what I do?Second, we introduce and examine the concept of Neuroplasticity. This exciting frontier in medical science unifies long-standing theories of learning with the most recent advances in brain imaging, which demonstrates how the structures of the brain adapt and re-shape themselves in response to the demands we put on them. Our brains are always learning, and what we pay attention to and practice over time shapes our brain to facilitate more efficient thinking patterns. Advances in neuroplasticity help us answer fundamental questions about how human beings learn and how we can understand and change our habits.Then, we explore how these two simple ideas can come together to help us understand many of our most pressing questions about ourselves and other people. We discuss how a firm grasp of these principles can free us from taking things so personally and can give us a framework for shaping behavior in a more positive way. While human behavior is complex and may seem impenetrable and mysterious, a familiarity with the fundamental principles that shape it can empower us to make radical and positive changes in the way we understand ourselves and other people. Knowledge truly can empower us to improve our lives.Support the showThank you for listening!For more information, visit: www.drdanraker.comPlease subscribe and share with your friends.Just Published! Dr. Raker's new book, Disarm the Bomb! Defuse ANGER Before it Derails Your Life, along with the Workbook & Study Guide, are now available at www.drdanraker.com.Recorded on the Western Slope of the Rocky Mountains, Colorado, USA.CLICK HERE to support Peace, Love, & Psychology Podcast.

Send us Fan MailIn this episode, we address the topic of Emotional Hijacking, a process where our emotions are stirred up in a way that we may struggle to make rational, healthy choices or engage in effective planning for our long-term benefit.We examine the meaning of the phrase, and we review and explain the neurophysiological basis behind the process. We explore how systems that are designed to protect us in the face of danger can become a liability when the dynamics of a situation stir up strong emotions. Because of the way our brain and body function when in a crisis, we may not be able to think clearly or solve problems effectively when we are upset, angry, confused, or emotional.We consider situations in which emotional hijacking may come into play. In the domain of our intimate, primary relationships, there may be an unhealthy cycle in which one partner becomes upset and the other partner ends up getting their way. In contrast with a collaborative and open approach to communication, emotional hijacking can cause a corrosive build-up of mistrust and resentment.The process of emotional hijacking can also come into play in the broader domain of our societal relationships. In a negative way, some actors in a society may stir up strong emotions in order to induce people to act in a particular way that may not be in the best interest of all members of that population. During contentious political campaign seasons, exposure to media that inflames our passions may not set us up to calmly and rationally assess which policy approaches would be best for ourselves, our families, and our society. Finally, we discuss self-defense strategies against emotional hijacking, both personal and societal. We can learn to monitor our level of emotional activation in order to calm ourselves down. We can implement personal strategies to manage our level of emotions and make use of our broader faculties in order to make better decisions about our personal and societal future. Support the showThank you for listening!For more information, visit: www.drdanraker.comPlease subscribe and share with your friends.Just Published! Dr. Raker's new book, Disarm the Bomb! Defuse ANGER Before it Derails Your Life, along with the Workbook & Study Guide, are now available at www.drdanraker.com.Recorded on the Western Slope of the Rocky Mountains, Colorado, USA.CLICK HERE to support Peace, Love, & Psychology Podcast.

Send us Fan MailI recently asked a group of people familiar with the podcast what subjects they would like to hear addressed in a future episode. With little hesitation, two people suggested the topic of Religious Trauma. This is a topic that comes up fairly regularly in therapy sessions. As a trauma specialist, I have met people who have been through all kinds of difficult situations, and a sizable number of them have been injured at the hands of someone who is in some way identified with a particular religious or spiritual group. In this episode, we explore the topic from several angles. First, we will discuss working definitions of what Religious Trauma is. The conditions of Religious Trauma are often complex, and the specific injuries people suffer are varied. There are different ways people describe this phenomenon, and their perspective is often a product of their own agenda and belief system. Second, we will look at what accounts for the injuries sustained when someone has been victimized in the name of a particular religion or belief system. We will discuss why Religious Trauma is a real trauma, and we will look at the impact of the particular agent of injury.Third, we will look at some of the ways victims of Religious Trauma present in therapy. We will explore the general reactions people have when they have been injured in this specific way, and we will discuss how this form of trauma injures people by distorting the very natural human drive to make meaning of our lives and our place in the world.Fourth, we will then discuss some approaches to begin healing from this devastating form of trauma. Of course, there is not one specific technique or approach for all people due to the complexity and variety of ways people could be affected, but there are sound principles of healing that will help anyone who is struggling with this kind of injury.Finally, we will close the discussion with a message of hope about what healing looks like. It is our birthright as human beings to explore our place in the world and to ultimately achieve a level of understanding and acceptance that brings peace and joy back into our life. If you or someone you know has been victimized by a religious group or a person acting in the name of a religious group, this episode of Peace, Love, & Psychology can help you along in your healing journey.Support the showThank you for listening!For more information, visit: www.drdanraker.comPlease subscribe and share with your friends.Just Published! Dr. Raker's new book, Disarm the Bomb! Defuse ANGER Before it Derails Your Life, along with the Workbook & Study Guide, are now available at www.drdanraker.com.Recorded on the Western Slope of the Rocky Mountains, Colorado, USA.CLICK HERE to support Peace, Love, & Psychology Podcast.

Send us Fan MailIt is impossible to go anywhere in life if we do not know where we want to go. In this episode, we explore a famous technique used throughout the history of psychotherapy to help people clarify their direction in life. Known by many names, this exercise is commonly referred to as the “Lottery Question.” By practicing this technique, even if we are not currently in therapy, we can bring our core values into focus, analyze what is most important to us, identify what would bring purpose and meaning into our life, and set a course toward a more fulfilling life. We first examine why this exercise is so useful in many different kinds of therapy, and we consider why it is so difficult for us to focus on what we truly want in life. We explore some common reasons for this process of self-censoring, and in so doing, we set the stage for making the most of this technique. We discuss how this exercise, when approached with the correct intent, helps us to move beyond the pleasure-centered thoughts and fantasies we all entertain and to identify the deeper values that can guide us toward living a life of meaning. We briefly describe how this exercise—a form of free writing—engages a process similar to the free association technique used in classical psychoanalysis.We then discuss the procedure and guidelines for making the most of the lottery question exercise. The goal is to equip the listener with concrete information that will allow them to engage in the exercise with confidence. We then explain how to interpret the results of the exercise. We point out what to notice about the results of the technique by observing the recurring themes and looking out for responses that are surprising. By reviewing the results and grouping them into common themes, we can begin to discern among desires that may be material in nature, relational desires, self-development desires, career or educational desires, and aspirations to serve others and connect with our community. By noticing our inner reaction to the values-based goals, we can narrow down our many responses to a handful of options that energize us and fire our imagination. We can then work through a reverse-engineering process that links our most-cherished aspirations with our current situation in life. This process of working backwards from the future to the present will suggest a number of steps we can begin to take today toward our goals. Living with purpose involves clarifying our core values and then engaging our imagination to envision future activities that can be powerful expressions of these cherished values. Practicing the lottery question technique is practical way start the process of aligning our daily schedule with activities that will bring higher levels of meaning into our life. Support the showThank you for listening!For more information, visit: www.drdanraker.comPlease subscribe and share with your friends.Just Published! Dr. Raker's new book, Disarm the Bomb! Defuse ANGER Before it Derails Your Life, along with the Workbook & Study Guide, are now available at www.drdanraker.com.Recorded on the Western Slope of the Rocky Mountains, Colorado, USA.CLICK HERE to support Peace, Love, & Psychology Podcast.

Send us Fan MailAlthough there are not as many books and resources about it, the topic of friendship comes up often in therapy. In a general sense, problems with friends and friendship fall into one of two broad categories: problems with the relationship dynamics in existing friendships, or the lack of friends and meaningful friendships.In this episode, we begin by discussing the evolution of friendship over the lifespan. We discuss how many people form their first close friendships and friend groups, and we examine how the nature and composition of these relationships will change as we pass through different stages of life. By reviewing how life stages affect our relationships, we can begin to understand the problems in relationship dynamics that form in friend groups over time. Most often, tension with our existing friends arises when our lives take us in different directions. By allowing for grace and dedicating ourselves to communicating more openly, we can renew the bond of friendship and allow for a more flexible and resilient relationship that can grow and adapt to the changing circumstances in our lives. Friendships that last over time tend to allow for growth and change in the individuals who share affection and common values. For people who find themselves without meaningful friendships, it can be difficult to make friends as adults, a fairly common topic in psychotherapy. First, we discuss how our attitude and social behavior influence our chances of making meaningful connections with new people we meet. While we are often worried about our own presentation, we need to learn to focus on and express interest in other people in order to facilitate connecting with them. Second, we discuss how identifying our values and seeking opportunities to engage in social activities that emphasize these important personal values will give us the best chance of connecting in meaningful ways with other people. As with all of our relationships, the path to enjoying fulfilling friendships lies in expressing genuine interest in others and creating opportunities to engage in social activities that reflect our core values. Support the showThank you for listening!For more information, visit: www.drdanraker.comPlease subscribe and share with your friends.Just Published! Dr. Raker's new book, Disarm the Bomb! Defuse ANGER Before it Derails Your Life, along with the Workbook & Study Guide, are now available at www.drdanraker.com.Recorded on the Western Slope of the Rocky Mountains, Colorado, USA.CLICK HERE to support Peace, Love, & Psychology Podcast.

Send us Fan MailThis episode is an in-depth discussion of meditation as it is specifically used in Behavioral Health settings to produce positive effects on psychological well-being. First, we discuss what meditation is, starting with a good definition: that it is a practice in which an individual uses a technique to train attention and awareness, to achieve a mentally clear and emotionally calm state, and to attain spiritual enlightenment. We break down these components of meditation and explain how meditation in psychological treatment focuses on the initial elements of this definition. We will contrast the meditation used in behavioral health from the kind that is designed for spiritual enlightenment. Meditating for psychological well-being can be done by a wide range of people from different backgrounds. It does not require adopting any particular spiritual, religious, or cultural belief system. We explore the three general categories of meditation practices based on the type of focus used. We also distinguish meditation from a couple of related practices that might produce meditative states, but which are not the same as a pure meditation practice that yields the most direct benefits for our mental health.Second, we explore why meditation is often a component of mind-body psychological approaches. We discuss a brief overview of the many benefits of meditation. We also address some of the most common questions and concerns people bring up in the clinic related to the practice of meditation, including some of the reasons people why some people try meditating but are not able to stick with it long enough to experience any benefit from it.Third, we will describe a simple and accessible technique for meditating that anyone can practice which is designed to produce numerous benefits for psychological health. Specific instructions are given regarding: what to focus on, how to sit, what to wear, what to do with your hands, and how to clear the mind and regain focus. By implementing this simple and practical technique, anyone can begin a meditation practice and begin to experience increased ability to pay attention, improved ability to focus our awareness, greater mental clarity, and emotional calmness.In this episode, we will learn a technique for meditation that is a simple and practical way for anyone to gain the many psychological benefits associated with a regular meditation practice. Support the showThank you for listening!For more information, visit: www.drdanraker.comPlease subscribe and share with your friends.Just Published! Dr. Raker's new book, Disarm the Bomb! Defuse ANGER Before it Derails Your Life, along with the Workbook & Study Guide, are now available at www.drdanraker.com.Recorded on the Western Slope of the Rocky Mountains, Colorado, USA.CLICK HERE to support Peace, Love, & Psychology Podcast.

Send us Fan MailThis second episode focusing on the experience of chronic pain focuses on how psychologists and counselors support the patient in pain treatment. We first discuss how a person being treated for chronic pain would come to also be in psychological treatment. There are two pathways: the patient may be referred by their treating physician, or the patient may refer themselves.Physicians who treat pain tend to refer a patient to therapy for one of three general reasons.  First, the physician may be considering a medication treatment plan that involves the use of powerful, pain-relieving opiate medication. When a physician is planning to pursue this form of treatment, it is usually recommended for the patient to be evaluated for risk factors that might argue against that treatment approach. In these cases, the physician may refer the patient for an Opioid Risk Evaluation. Second, if a patient might benefit from the implantation of a medical device, such as Spinal Cord or Peripheral Nerve Stimulator, their doctor may refer the patient for a psychological evaluation. This step is typically required by most major insurance carriers before they will pre-authorize such a procedure. The focus of the Device Evaluation is to ensure that the patient is informed about the procedure and does not have any history that might contraindicate the implantation of a durable medical device. Third, if a physician observes that some aspect of the pain treatment is causing excessive stress to a patient in a way that might be making treatment more difficult for that patient, the doctor may refer them for psychological support. These types of referrals fall under the general heading of treatment interference, meaning that the patient’s stress level might be making their recovery from chronic pain more difficult or even ineffective.When a person in pain treatment recognizes that some aspect of the process is causing them difficulty, that person may choose to seek psychological support on their own. This is a self-referral to therapy. The therapist will listen to and support the patient in expressing their concerns and work with that person to develop affirmative strategies to cope with the stress of their pain treatment.Once a patient is in therapy, there are several cognitive-behavioral approaches that can help them adjust to their medical treatment and get the most benefit from it. Mind-body approaches that facilitate self-regulation while supporting healthy adjustment of expectations are beneficial to patients in treatment. Helping the patient manage their communication with the treatment team is also a way to reduce stress and provide better feedback about the medical treatment plan. Keeping a pain journal, using a treatment tracker, and having a support & recovery plan all help the patient stay actively engaged in treatment and cope more successfully with what can often be a stressful experience. By engagSupport the showThank you for listening!For more information, visit: www.drdanraker.comPlease subscribe and share with your friends.Just Published! Dr. Raker's new book, Disarm the Bomb! Defuse ANGER Before it Derails Your Life, along with the Workbook & Study Guide, are now available at www.drdanraker.com.Recorded on the Western Slope of the Rocky Mountains, Colorado, USA.CLICK HERE to support Peace, Love, & Psychology Podcast.

Send us Fan MailIn this episode we begin to explore the psychology of pain and pain management. We begin by discussing what pain is and what the function of pain is. We explore how acute, localized pain  can develop into chronic, generalized pain. We then discuss the effect of chronic pain on the body and mind.Acute, localized pain will tend follow an “ideal” arc of pain treatment, beginning with the appearance of the pain as it is first noticed in the body. This awareness generally leads a person to reach out to a medical provider, who will initiate a process of investigation to determine the cause of the pain. This investigation will hopefully provide the information necessary for the medical team to devise an effective treatment plan, which should address the underlying cause of the pain, resulting in recovery to normal, pain-free functioning. However, when pain becomes chronic and/or generalized in the body, this brief, idealized arc of pain treatment can become an extended journey of pain treatment and, possibly, pain management. We highlight the four stages of this pain journey: crisis, investigation, treatment, and recovery/management. We examine these four stages in depth in order to understand how complications can arise along the way. We discuss how each stage can add additional stress on a person who is already struggling due to the pain overloading their system. We explain how the complications at each stage emphasize the need for effective support, for patient compliance, for clear communication, and for the strength and resilience to adjust to the process. This overview of pain, its effect on our body and mind, and the stages of the pain journey will serve as background for the next episode, in which we will discuss why patients in pain treatment are sometimes referred for mental health support and what kinds of interventions are most helpful for someone dealing with chronic pain.Support the showThank you for listening!For more information, visit: www.drdanraker.comPlease subscribe and share with your friends.Just Published! Dr. Raker's new book, Disarm the Bomb! Defuse ANGER Before it Derails Your Life, along with the Workbook & Study Guide, are now available at www.drdanraker.com.Recorded on the Western Slope of the Rocky Mountains, Colorado, USA.CLICK HERE to support Peace, Love, & Psychology Podcast.

Send us Fan MailIn this fourth episode on the topic of trauma, we shift from discussing the impact of trauma exposure on individuals to a discussion of how it affects families and couples. First, we discuss the phenomenon of intergenerational trauma, in which the negative consequences of exposure are passed from the generation directly involved to subsequent generations. There are two classic mechanisms for the transmission of this kind of suffering: it is passed through family lore, the stories and legends that families tell about their origins, and it is passed through the modeling of behaviors that represent survival strategies and attitudes formed during exposure to traumatic events. Over the past two decades, there has been growth in research into intergenerational trauma. A significant portion of this research has focused on two generational events: the European Holocaust during World War Two and the attack on America on September 11, 2001. Research data have highlighted that trauma patterns are transmitted not only through narrative and behavioral modes but have also caused changes to the DNA of those exposed that can then be passed along to the children of survivors. We then discuss how trauma impacts couples within the same generation. We explore how early family models of relationship and communication can affect the way an individual exposed to trauma may handle their symptoms in ways that can cause their close partner to also suffer negative outcomes. Both positive and negative early family models of communication can limit the options a survivor of traumatic exposure feels they have to address their symptoms within their partnership. We focus on unfortunate patterns of dysfunction that often occur within two particular examples of partnership by examining how trauma symptoms can be expressed in couples where one partner had been exposed to trauma through combat deployment and in couples where one partner had been exposed to childhood sexual assault. Although a person can not heal their partner’s symptoms, couples can commit to working together to facilitate healing and to learning communication skills in order to decrease the chances of them triggering and reinjuring each other. In any couple affected by the symptoms of traumatic exposure, there is always the hope of recovery, healing, and growth once the partners acknowledge what is happening and begin to address the problem together. Support the showThank you for listening!For more information, visit: www.drdanraker.comPlease subscribe and share with your friends.Just Published! Dr. Raker's new book, Disarm the Bomb! Defuse ANGER Before it Derails Your Life, along with the Workbook & Study Guide, are now available at www.drdanraker.com.Recorded on the Western Slope of the Rocky Mountains, Colorado, USA.CLICK HERE to support Peace, Love, & Psychology Podcast.

Send us Fan MailIn this episode we continue the discussion of trauma by focusing on the impact of early childhood traumatic exposure throughout the lifespan and into adulthood. Exposure to trauma in early childhood can carry through to adulthood and may present in one of the following experiences: obsolete decisions, misdiagnosis, and the “frozen self.” We review how trauma can affect anyone, and we consider several reasons why children in particular may be vulnerable to the effects of traumatic exposure. We discuss how the neurophysiological systems of children are especially sensitive during early development, how the symptoms of traumatic exposure can be overlooked or overshadowed by normal stages of personality development, and how children’s lack of experience and worldview deprives them of necessary context for a fuller understanding of a crisis experience, leaving them vulnerable to over-generalization and magical thinking.We explore how the overwhelming impact of traumatic exposure at a young age can result in the child making survival-based decisions that do not adapt well as the child ages and matures. In adulthood, these obsolete or outdated decisions can affect a person’s functioning in ways that may seem mysterious, until the connection to the underlying trauma experience is discovered. We then discuss how childhood symptomatic reactions to traumatic exposure may result in a diagnosis that may describe the surface behaviors or moods but does not identify the trauma mechanism driving those behaviors and moods. Sadly, these diagnoses may follow a person through their life, stigmatizing them and cutting them off from potential sources of support and healing.Finally, we discuss the phenomenon of the “frozen self” or “frozen child.” This describes what can happen when traumatic exposure overwhelms the child and creates an obstacle at a particular stage in normal development. Although the child may recover and develop compensating strategies that serve them in most other areas of their life, in adulthood they may experience a dysphoria in certain circumstances that leads them to feel immature relative to their peers—like a part of them had become stuck back at the time of the original injury. The pathway to coming back from trauma that was discussed in the last episode—recovery, healing, and post-traumatic growth—still applies and provides a road map for healing childhood trauma. By understanding why early exposure to trauma may have serious ramifications into adulthood, we can learn to identify that trauma from childhood may still be impacting our lives as adults. The path of coming back from trauma through recovery and healing can lead to post-traumatic growth, no matter when the original injury happened. Support the showThank you for listening!For more information, visit: www.drdanraker.comPlease subscribe and share with your friends.Just Published! Dr. Raker's new book, Disarm the Bomb! Defuse ANGER Before it Derails Your Life, along with the Workbook & Study Guide, are now available at www.drdanraker.com.Recorded on the Western Slope of the Rocky Mountains, Colorado, USA.CLICK HERE to support Peace, Love, & Psychology Podcast.

Send us Fan MailIn order to give hope and provide context to the healing process, in this episode we look at the three levels of coming back from a traumatic exposure: recovery, healing, and post-traumatic growth. In trauma recovery, the primary focus is on learning how to manage the symptoms that persist after exposure to traumatic stress. During this stage, the therapy process will focus on identifying which symptoms a person is experiencing and on understanding how these particular symptoms are affecting the person’s life. We discuss the mind/body model for treatment of trauma and describe how the Cognitive-Behavioral approach to mind/body treatment relates to the “bottom-up” and “top-down” approach discussed in Bessel van der Kolk’s book, The Body Keeps the Score.Over time, effective interventions targeting recovery may lead to a significant decrease in the frequency and intensity of symptoms, signaling a shift from recovery to healing. In the phase of trauma healing, the focus may change from introducing and applying mind/body interventions to a process of identifying triggers in the environment and working to reduce their negative impact on the patient. It is sometimes within this stage that patients begin to feel relief, only to be re-triggered by unexpected life events. We discuss how these episodes do not mean that a person must start back at the beginning, nor are they signs that a person is somehow weak or pathological. Rather, these setbacks can signal a need for more refined or enhanced coping skills along with a strategy to manage environmental triggers. The good news is that the work that the person has already put in can be a solid foundation for rapid recovery from even the most upsetting episodes.Finally, we discuss post-traumatic growth, which is the acknowledgement that some people who go through a traumatic experience can emerge on the other side with a greater degree of life skills, self-knowledge, and an expanded sense of meaning and purpose. We explore the five life domains that are often described as potential areas for growth as a person recovers and heals from trauma. Post-traumatic growth is an often overlooked or neglected aspect of trauma treatment, yet it can give people enormous hope to understand how they can emerge from a life challenge with greater strength and life satisfaction.By understanding the phases involved in coming back from trauma, a person can stay focused on their goal of recovering, healing, and growing after a traumatic experience. Support the showThank you for listening!For more information, visit: www.drdanraker.comPlease subscribe and share with your friends.Just Published! Dr. Raker's new book, Disarm the Bomb! Defuse ANGER Before it Derails Your Life, along with the Workbook & Study Guide, are now available at www.drdanraker.com.Recorded on the Western Slope of the Rocky Mountains, Colorado, USA.CLICK HERE to support Peace, Love, & Psychology Podcast.

Send us Fan MailIn this episode we discuss the phenomenon of traumatic exposure in three parts. First, we define what trauma is and explore how the definition has changed and expanded over time. Second, we break down what is happening within our bodies when we are in the middle of a traumatic event. We discuss how the information associated with danger produces rapid, profound changes in our body and can overwhelm our mind’s ability to effectively deal with the situation. We take a look at a conceptual framework clinicians and researchers use to understand what is happening during trauma, the adaptive information processing model, and we discuss how it helps a person to understand the kinds of reactions they may have to traumatic exposure. Third, we discuss four major categories of reactions that a person can have after having gone through a traumatic event: reexperiencing, activation, avoidance, and negative cognitions/beliefs. We explore the different kinds of reexperiencing episodes a person may have following trauma and relate these back to the information processing model. We then explore types of activation in order to understand how they manifest. Coping mechanisms that involve avoidance behaviors are then described, in an effort to distinguish conscious and unconscious processes, and we touch on the possible role traumatic brain injuries can play in these behaviors. Finally, we explore how undergoing trauma can radically change a person’s world view, resulting in negative cognitions and beliefs about the safety of the world and the individual’s place in it.By understanding what trauma is, how it is processed in the body and mind during exposure, and what may happen following trauma, a person can better understand the path to recovering from traumatic exposure. This understanding will set the stage for beginning to visualize what trauma recovery looks like, for learning about approaches to healing trauma, and for discovering a pathway toward post-traumatic growth. Support the showThank you for listening!For more information, visit: www.drdanraker.comPlease subscribe and share with your friends.Just Published! Dr. Raker's new book, Disarm the Bomb! Defuse ANGER Before it Derails Your Life, along with the Workbook & Study Guide, are now available at www.drdanraker.com.Recorded on the Western Slope of the Rocky Mountains, Colorado, USA.CLICK HERE to support Peace, Love, & Psychology Podcast.

Send us Fan MailIn this episode we conclude our two-part look at the process of psychotherapy. We discuss how therapy can be seen to fail when a patient participates but does not experience any relief from their symptoms and how therapy can be seen to be “stuck” when the patient does not feel any sense of progress in their treatment. We examine the phenomenon of therapeutic failure by discussing patient factors, therapist factors, and intervention factors. As discussed in the last episode, there are responsibilities in the role of both patient and therapist. In this episode, we explore how therapy becomes ineffective or stuck when these responsibilities are neglected. For patients who have had unsatisfying therapy experiences, this knowledge can help them understand why the process broke down and empower them to address these issues with their current therapist or someone else who might be a better fit for that patient. Boundaries and ground rules of therapy are also discussed, as these provide safety for the patient and ensure that the therapist does no harm to the patient.Finally, we engage in a practical discussion of how to go about finding a therapist, what kinds of questions to ask as you are interviewing a potential therapist, and what to expect as you begin a therapeutic relationship.By better understanding what causes therapy to stall or fail, you can learn how to choose a therapist that is a good fit for your needs and how to properly evaluate the progress within that therapeutic relationship.  Support the showThank you for listening!For more information, visit: www.drdanraker.comPlease subscribe and share with your friends.Just Published! Dr. Raker's new book, Disarm the Bomb! Defuse ANGER Before it Derails Your Life, along with the Workbook & Study Guide, are now available at www.drdanraker.com.Recorded on the Western Slope of the Rocky Mountains, Colorado, USA.CLICK HERE to support Peace, Love, & Psychology Podcast.

Send us Fan MailIn this episode we begin a two-part look at the process of psychotherapy. We define the process of talk therapy, and we discuss the roles and responsibilities of both the person seeking therapy and the person providing therapy. We explain the difference between the use of the terms “client” and “patient” and examine the context behind the use of these two terms. The person seeking therapy has two basic responsibilities in therapy: to disclose relevant information about how their issue/concern is impacting their life, and to participate in the therapy process. We then discuss the role and many responsibilities of the professional who provides therapy. We also explain what an intervention is and how it relates to the responsibilities of the provider.We then turn our attention to exploring the ways in which psychotherapy helps people get better. As an overview, we discuss the listening intervention, the feedback intervention, the use of homework or experiments, and the intervention of therapeutic modeling, sometimes called “re-parenting."For those considering whether or not to try therapy, this episode can provide an introduction and orientation that will demystify the therapeutic process and help them set their expectations. For the person who is or has been in therapy, this episode can serve as a practical explanation and review of the boundaries and proper function of the therapeutic relationship.Support the showThank you for listening!For more information, visit: www.drdanraker.comPlease subscribe and share with your friends.Just Published! Dr. Raker's new book, Disarm the Bomb! Defuse ANGER Before it Derails Your Life, along with the Workbook & Study Guide, are now available at www.drdanraker.com.Recorded on the Western Slope of the Rocky Mountains, Colorado, USA.CLICK HERE to support Peace, Love, & Psychology Podcast.

Send us Fan MailPart Two: The Power of PatternsIn the second part of this two-part series on relationships, we look at how repeating patterns of conflict are created in relationships, and we look at how to identify and address these negative cycles. First, we discuss how our earliest experiences as infants with our caregivers condition the neurophysiological basis of these patterns. Second, we discuss how the experiences we have in childhood with our larger family system and with other children shape our cognitive-behavioral patterns within relationships. In the third part of the episode, we explore how these patterns can be identified and addressed on your own or within a therapy relationship.In order to understand our destructive patterns, we must embark on a mindful evaluation of our significant relationships by conducting a relationship inventory. For each person we consider to have been a significant relationship in our life, we examine what attracted us to that person, what the good aspects of the relationship were, what the trouble spots of the relationship were, and what ultimately broke up the relationship (or, in relationships that are still active, we look at how difficult conflicts are resolved between us and our partner). We analyze the dynamics of the relationship not to assign blame, but to understand how difficulties gain a foothold in our relationships and to see what might be driving them. We look for how these patterns affect our partner selection criteria, our evaluation of the quality of our relationships, and our communication strategy with our partner. Ultimately, our goal is to see what has to change in order to end these destructive patterns and to create the conditions for healthier, more connected relationships.We can learn to understand how we came to co-create recurring negative patterns in our relationships, and we can learn how to make positive changes in the way we select a potential partner, evaluate a relationship, and communicate with our partner. We can make changes that bring us closer to fulfilling the full potential of loving partnership.Support the showThank you for listening!For more information, visit: www.drdanraker.comPlease subscribe and share with your friends.Just Published! Dr. Raker's new book, Disarm the Bomb! Defuse ANGER Before it Derails Your Life, along with the Workbook & Study Guide, are now available at www.drdanraker.com.Recorded on the Western Slope of the Rocky Mountains, Colorado, USA.CLICK HERE to support Peace, Love, & Psychology Podcast.

Send us Fan MailPart One: Attachment TheoryIn honor of February and Valentine’s Day, we begin a two-part exploration into how our past affects the quality of our relationships. In Part One, we begin by discussing attachment theory. Since its introduction in the 1950s and its refinement over the years, attachment theory has become the dominant view of how our early childhood experiences come to influence the types of relationships we have as adults. We will explore the background and experimental basis of attachment theory and discuss in detail the four attachment styles that flow from the experimental work of Dr. John Bowlby and others. We will look at how the early experiences that form our attachment style come into play in our adult relationships, especially in our primary, romantic relationships. We will also discuss the relevance and limitations of attachment theory as a pathway to improve our relationships.Our early childhood experiences with our caregivers often condition us to seek out and repeat certain kinds of experiences in our adult relationships. We can gain understanding of these styles in order to make positive changes that will bring us greater joy, intimacy, and connection with our partners. Support the showThank you for listening!For more information, visit: www.drdanraker.comPlease subscribe and share with your friends.Just Published! Dr. Raker's new book, Disarm the Bomb! Defuse ANGER Before it Derails Your Life, along with the Workbook & Study Guide, are now available at www.drdanraker.com.Recorded on the Western Slope of the Rocky Mountains, Colorado, USA.CLICK HERE to support Peace, Love, & Psychology Podcast.

Send us Fan MailSelf esteem is a way of describing how we think and feel about ourselves and our worthiness. While low self-esteem (or low self-confidence) is not a specific diagnosis or separate pathology, it is often a component of mental health diagnoses. In addition, low self-esteem is a common complaint that comes up in the course of psychotherapy.The Two-Factor theory of self-esteem says that our level of self-esteem is a product of what we do and what we say to ourselves about what we do. If we are engaged in behavior that is wrong in some way—i.e., it falls short of the standards we hold—it leads us to hold a negative view of ourselves.  When our behavior is objectively acceptable and not inherently or morally wrong, we might still have a low opinion of ourselves. We might be holding ourselves to an unreasonable standard that we have adopted from a source outside of ourselves, such as the opinion of an earlier authority figure in our lives. Often, the way in which we receive and process positive feedback and compliments is a primary way in which we are speaking to ourselves about the things we are doing. To build self-esteem, we must have the courage to reflect on the charges we are holding against ourselves and the commitment to examine where these standards come from. We must engage in a process of evaluating these standards and decide for ourselves whether or not they are reasonable standards. We must consider whether the metrics for our self-assessment are based on objective, measurable factors or simply based on how we are feeling. Finally, we can learn to take in positive feedback from a place of humble gratitude, which begins to retrain our mind to assess our own behavior in a way that is more reasonable, more compassionate, and more objective. By bringing our behavior into alignment with standards we believe in, we will naturally re-shape the things we say and feel about ourselves. This begins and sustains the process of building healthy self-esteem. Support the showThank you for listening!For more information, visit: www.drdanraker.comPlease subscribe and share with your friends.Just Published! Dr. Raker's new book, Disarm the Bomb! Defuse ANGER Before it Derails Your Life, along with the Workbook & Study Guide, are now available at www.drdanraker.com.Recorded on the Western Slope of the Rocky Mountains, Colorado, USA.CLICK HERE to support Peace, Love, & Psychology Podcast.

Send us Fan MailHave you made resolutions in the past, only to fall back into the same old patterns a little while later? Why do get trapped into patterns of failure? If we are to make changes for the better in our lives, we need to understand why we keep doing the same actions over and over again, even when we know they will result in failure.When we are trapped in patterns that don’t serve us, we stop seeing reality as it is. Instead, we filter out the broader information available to us and take in only a small slice of what is actually happening. This process of filtering data to fit what we are used to can lead us to believe that we already know all there is to know about a situation or person in our lives. This fallacy of certitude reinforces the information we already have and closes us off to new perspectives that might help us to actually solve the problem. We repeat the pattern of behavior, thinking we know all there is to know, and we keep reaping terrible results. Without fail, this downward spiral leads us to conclude that change is not possible and that things will never get better. We can resolve to see reality as it is, observing what is actually in front of us with fresh eyes. We can resolve to pursue humility about what we know, rekindling curiosity in our lives, opening the door to learning and growing. As we take in new information, we can learn new skills and try new approaches to problem solving, and this gives us the courage to resolve to make positive changes in our lives.Like an artist who uses the power of observation to bring a fresh perspective to a work of art that moves us, we can refresh our natural curiosity and begin to approach life with more hope.Support the showThank you for listening!For more information, visit: www.drdanraker.comPlease subscribe and share with your friends.Just Published! Dr. Raker's new book, Disarm the Bomb! Defuse ANGER Before it Derails Your Life, along with the Workbook & Study Guide, are now available at www.drdanraker.com.Recorded on the Western Slope of the Rocky Mountains, Colorado, USA.CLICK HERE to support Peace, Love, & Psychology Podcast.

Send us Fan MailDuring this season, it is natural to evaluate the past year and to think about our plans for the new year. In the process of self-assessment, we should avoid the tendency to focus only on the negatives.Where we put our attention tends to expand and become confirmed by the information we filter into our conscious attention. Cognitive distortion can occur, and this is a significant component in both depressive and anxiety disorders. Excessive focus on ourselves, our problems, and our mistakes can quickly lead to a spiral of negative thoughts. We can understand the importance of learning to shift our focus away from ourselves and onto more positive subjects.We can train our minds to pay attention to the many ways we are supported in daily life, and that will help us feel gratitude for the blessings around us. Even on our worst days, we can choose to notice the complex web of human activities that support our life, giving us hope and helping us feel a sense of positive connection with the community and world around us.When we have a grateful attitude, we naturally fill up with good feelings. With a heart full of gratitude, we can put our attention on serving others with acts of genuine kindness.  Human history and modern research demonstrate the many positive benefits of engaging in acts of service, both to ourselves and to our community. Our spirits are lifted, and our community benefits from an increase in social cohesion.We can learn to focus on gratitude, lifting our own level of mental health and making our community a warmer, more-connected place.Support the showThank you for listening!For more information, visit: www.drdanraker.comPlease subscribe and share with your friends.Just Published! Dr. Raker's new book, Disarm the Bomb! Defuse ANGER Before it Derails Your Life, along with the Workbook & Study Guide, are now available at www.drdanraker.com.Recorded on the Western Slope of the Rocky Mountains, Colorado, USA.CLICK HERE to support Peace, Love, & Psychology Podcast.

Send us Fan MailThe holiday season can be a time for happiness and creating good memories, but it can also be a time of stress. Unrealistic expectations, a lack of structure, and over-indulgence can put pressure on us and our ability to cope. If we travel to spend time with family we haven’t seen in a while, old family dynamics and dysfunction can throw even the most grounded person off-balance. Why is it sometimes so hard to be around family and old friends? What lies beneath the unhealthy patterns of conflict that can emerge during the holiday season? By understanding and managing our expectations, we can set and attain more reasonable goals for the holiday visit. By analyzing past holiday successes and failures, we can develop a plan to make this holiday season much less stressful and more enjoyable. By focusing on a few sound guidelines, we can give ourselves and our loved ones a chance at reducing old patterns of conflict and having a truly happy holiday season.Holidays are meant to be enjoyed, not just survived! By preparing ahead of time and taking better care of ourselves, the holidays can once again be a time of connection, renewal, and treasured memories. Support the showThank you for listening!For more information, visit: www.drdanraker.comPlease subscribe and share with your friends.Just Published! Dr. Raker's new book, Disarm the Bomb! Defuse ANGER Before it Derails Your Life, along with the Workbook & Study Guide, are now available at www.drdanraker.com.Recorded on the Western Slope of the Rocky Mountains, Colorado, USA.CLICK HERE to support Peace, Love, & Psychology Podcast.

Send us Fan MailHuman beings learn by making mistakes and learning from them. Living in relationship with other people, we will inevitably end up hurting others and being hurt by other people. Therefore, it is crucial for our development and social survival that we understand and apply the technology of forgiveness. We must understand the process of asking for and extending forgiveness to other people. In this episode, we will examine the meaning of forgiveness and investigate why it can be so hard to forgive ourselves and other people for the injuries we sustain. We will break down the components of an effective apology, which can set the stage for healing in relationships where we have hurt other people, and we will discuss an in-depth process that will help us to forgive others for the debts we hold against them for the injuries they have caused us. We can learn to understand and apply the technology of forgiveness to bring healing to ourselves and our relationships.Support the showThank you for listening!For more information, visit: www.drdanraker.comPlease subscribe and share with your friends.Just Published! Dr. Raker's new book, Disarm the Bomb! Defuse ANGER Before it Derails Your Life, along with the Workbook & Study Guide, are now available at www.drdanraker.com.Recorded on the Western Slope of the Rocky Mountains, Colorado, USA.CLICK HERE to support Peace, Love, & Psychology Podcast.

Send us Fan MailCommunication is a shared process of conveying information between people. The goal of communication is to get our needs met. When communication breaks down, it often causes resistance, defensiveness, and anger between people. By learning an improved strategy, we can learn to identify and express our needs with others in a way that can bring us closer together, achieve resolution to conflict, and increase our satisfaction in relationships. In this episode, we discuss the purpose of communication, we look at the ways communication breaks down, we take an in-depth look at the model of Non-Violent Communication, which provides an effective roadmap for improving our communication strategy, and we discuss several outcomes from applying a new strategy in communicating with others. We can learn to improve our strategy of communication, increasing our chances of having satisfying and meaningful relationships with other people. Support the showThank you for listening!For more information, visit: www.drdanraker.comPlease subscribe and share with your friends.Just Published! Dr. Raker's new book, Disarm the Bomb! Defuse ANGER Before it Derails Your Life, along with the Workbook & Study Guide, are now available at www.drdanraker.com.Recorded on the Western Slope of the Rocky Mountains, Colorado, USA.CLICK HERE to support Peace, Love, & Psychology Podcast.

Send us Fan MailOnce we have learned how to get some relief from repetitive negative thoughts, it frees us up to use our minds to improve important areas of our life. People have intuitively known for a long time that the quality of our thoughts impacts the body—for better or worse. Advances in research into neuroimmunology and epigenetics have shown that harnessing the power of positive thinking can improve our health in numerous ways. We can learn to use affirmations, repeating positive, true, and present-tense statements to improve our motivation and shape our behavior. We can learn to use imaginal rehearsal to unlock better sports  performance, artistic performance, and performance in many other areas in our life. We can learn to use the power of imagination to facilitate healing more quickly and more efficiently within our body. We can use our imagination to clarify our goals and values, which can help us live more purposeful and meaningful lives. Support the showThank you for listening!For more information, visit: www.drdanraker.comPlease subscribe and share with your friends.Just Published! Dr. Raker's new book, Disarm the Bomb! Defuse ANGER Before it Derails Your Life, along with the Workbook & Study Guide, are now available at www.drdanraker.com.Recorded on the Western Slope of the Rocky Mountains, Colorado, USA.CLICK HERE to support Peace, Love, & Psychology Podcast.

Send us Fan MailNegative thinking can affect our mood, impact our behavior, and compromise our ability to effectively use our mind. When our mind is working for us, it helps us to solve problems, to generate creative ideas, and to organize and manage information and our time. When it is repeating distressing pictures or statements, our mind can become our own worst enemy.In this episode, we learn how to develop a better relationship with our own mind by becoming mindful of the mind itself. We approach this on three different levels: by developing better awareness of our thinking, by developing better understanding of our thinking, and by developing better responses to our negative thinking. Specific, concrete exercises are discussed that, when applied, can help us to gain better control of our thoughts and to make better use of our creative potential.Support the showThank you for listening!For more information, visit: www.drdanraker.comPlease subscribe and share with your friends.Just Published! Dr. Raker's new book, Disarm the Bomb! Defuse ANGER Before it Derails Your Life, along with the Workbook & Study Guide, are now available at www.drdanraker.com.Recorded on the Western Slope of the Rocky Mountains, Colorado, USA.CLICK HERE to support Peace, Love, & Psychology Podcast.

Send us Fan MailIn this episode, we delve more deeply into the mechanisms behind compartmentalization: Resistance and Stress Intolerance. We explore what is happening when we push emotions away and discuss practical Mind and Body approaches to help us learn to tolerate emotions in order to hear what they are trying to tell us about our reality.Support the showThank you for listening!For more information, visit: www.drdanraker.comPlease subscribe and share with your friends.Just Published! Dr. Raker's new book, Disarm the Bomb! Defuse ANGER Before it Derails Your Life, along with the Workbook & Study Guide, are now available at www.drdanraker.com.Recorded on the Western Slope of the Rocky Mountains, Colorado, USA.CLICK HERE to support Peace, Love, & Psychology Podcast.

Send us Fan MailIn this episode, we explore the meaning of emotions and discuss 4 common "negative" emotions that people often seek therapy about: sadness, fear, anger, and guilt. We discuss what these emotions are trying to tell us about our reality, and we cover some basic strategies for understanding these emotions. We also spend some time talking about the process of ignoring, or compartmentalizing, emotions.Support the showThank you for listening!For more information, visit: www.drdanraker.comPlease subscribe and share with your friends.Just Published! Dr. Raker's new book, Disarm the Bomb! Defuse ANGER Before it Derails Your Life, along with the Workbook & Study Guide, are now available at www.drdanraker.com.Recorded on the Western Slope of the Rocky Mountains, Colorado, USA.CLICK HERE to support Peace, Love, & Psychology Podcast.

Send us Fan MailIn this brief introduction to the Peace, Love, & Psychology podcast, I answer 3 general questions: Who am I? Why did I start this podcast? What do I hope you will get out of listening to it? Enjoy!Support the showThank you for listening!For more information, visit: www.drdanraker.comPlease subscribe and share with your friends.Just Published! Dr. Raker's new book, Disarm the Bomb! Defuse ANGER Before it Derails Your Life, along with the Workbook & Study Guide, are now available at www.drdanraker.com.Recorded on the Western Slope of the Rocky Mountains, Colorado, USA.CLICK HERE to support Peace, Love, & Psychology Podcast.