stable but not pod

Sup thotties! Back to our regularly scheduled program 🤪 you will have to forgive us for our technical difficulties, it’s not our best episode, but we’re just girls trying to make a podcast OKAY?! Kicking it off with some red dye 40 we talk about Melissa being out of water and the PANIC Joe went through. Pour one out for all the sad losses we have already experienced in 2026 💔 Kelsey has been divorced for SIX years, and hallelujah has it been the biggest blessing and lesson 🫶🏻 You get a corporate ick of the week and a very classic Joey to Joe. Catch ya later baddies!

Happy Thursday thotties! 🥂 We are in our thirty and flirty era…even though Kelsey is already halfway to 31 🤢 and let’s be real…how is that even possible??? We go over what we have learned in our short thirty years here on earth and what we would love to go back and change or wish we could encourage our younger selves to learn sooner. NEWS FLASH!!!! LISTEN TO YOUR PARENTS! Life at 30 is pretty sweet for the stable but not girlies and we’re so excited for this next decade. 🪩 ✨ 

Tell a friend to tell a friend, WE’RE BAAAACK! 🥂🎉 Guys, it’s been a long 2 years but here is a gift to you!!! Also, it wouldn’t be Melissa and Kelsey if we didn’t plan to release this on Christmas but ran into LOTS of technical difficulties trying to do so….. So hope January works for y’all LOL Truly, thank you so much for hanging around and waiting on us, and if you’re a new listener - welcome, buckle up, and enjoy 🤪 We are beyond excited to be back in your ears (bi-weekly for now) & bring all the chaotic laughs and stories that you’ve come to know and love 😂 - and I may be biased, but I definitely laughed out loud while editing this episode lol we’re giving some life updates and man does it feel like NOTHING has changed 🫠 see you thotties in two weeks! ✨

WE’RE BACK! Did you miss us??? Melissa’s stuffy, Kelsey’s bruised, we’re still unstable and living through it. Are we a day late? Yes. Are we hours late while being a day late? Also yes. BUT WE ARE JUST GIRLS, OKAY??? 😂 And while we're being honest, Melissa edited but didn't write a full description of the episode and Kelsey is quickly trying to crank this out because she has her actual job to do 🙃 so take a listen, hear what we gab about today and we will see you in TWO weeks. Yes, you read that right... We are moving back to biweekly, but I promise we will make it worth it! Bye thotties 🥂

What’s up thotties, we are back with another episode and this week we are cranky, we are tired and we are mourning. RIP Matthew Perry 💔 and also, if you didn’t already know this, Melissa’s uterus is expanding 😭 she is still not enjoying pregnancy but we digress 😴 Kelsey is also down bad, but she is insured and USING THOSE BENEFITS HUNNY 💅 now both the girlies are four eyes 🤓 but Kelsey opted for✨transitions✨ but also maybe gallbladder issues?? Melissa says take it on out, throw it away 🛑 to TOP IT ALL OFF this weather is so triggering and we need this cold front to go ahead and come on with her little self. Melissa elaborates on why she is pro-bullying (Joe), Kelsey has an AUDACIOUS ick and Joey, as always, went to Joe for yet another week. Same place same time next week, thotties 🥂

HEY THOTTIES!! This week the girlies are hUNgry, Melissa is getting a tooth pulled, and Kelsey is a travel girlie this week. We've got unpopular opinionssssss and they are HAWWT ‼️ One of Kelsey's opinions proves that she will ✨always ✨be a little toxic and we support her every step of the way 😂 Joey always goes to Joe (duh, nothing new) and Kelsey's ick is her dad, again???? See you next week! 🥂

Happy Thursday, thotties!! Hey hi how ya derrrrirn??? 🤪 We’re here, hot, and unstable as we talk possible new merch ideas (we still have merch for sale btw ‼️). Tune into our instagram for our poll on our new merch ideas! We are more than halfway through 2023 and Kelsey has realized her New Years resolutions’ need to be... well, to not make anymore resolutions 😂 We’re both fall loving girlies and there aren’t enough days!!! It's a true dilemma but we’re working through it. Melissa is no Christopher Columbus and Kelsey can second this with having to take directions from her recently 😂 Kelsey has beef with ms. Selenerrrrr and we’re intrigued 👀 but don’t get it twisted, we still do not like Hailey Beiber 🚫 setting spray is a scAAAM and we stand firm on that and will not waiver. See ya next week 🥂

✨**we apologize for any bob the builder related noises you may hear during this episode, all we have to say about it is, well, JOE.**✨ We feel like we’ve been saying this a lot lately but we’re BACK! Kelsey’s now a pilot (go her) ✈️ and Melissa is still here and still pregnant. 🤰 Melissa doesn’t have pregnancy brain, she is literally just that dumb and she’s OKAY with that ok! 😂 While Melissa was easily influenced by hoove shoes aka platform UGG slippers, Kelsey stands firm on no low rise anything and honestly we stand behind her. We have a word for ms. Kimberly Kardashian and we are not here for your “sculpting” body suit that is not so sculpting. Don’t worry, thotties with thots as a whole is still alive and well but the bookclub?? Yeah the ship has sailed with that one but nonetheless, we do recommend some good books! 📚  Kelsey’s ick is going to make her a Kaern and Joey skipped Joe and went straight to Bob the Builder. See you next Thursday thotties 🥂

Melissa is all by herself and ranting. That's it. That's all.

Sup thotties, we’re here this week and Kelsey has a tale of how she made some Spaniards mad and they are now scamming her. Pregnancy is already taken its toll on Melissa and boy are these going to be a loooong seven months 😮‍💨 We’ve had it up to the ceiling with these baby names!!! YOU ARE NAMING AN ADULT!!! Stop the madness! Melissa’s salty about her registry being, well, ignored for a lack of a better term 😅 Kelsey is setting a goal for herself that we know she’ll hit in no time 💪 men rushing us along in stores is the biggest ICK and we have had ENUF. Kelsey tries Melissa’s existence with a mom themed spelling bee and the men are always icky and joey is always Joe. Have a thot worthy week, we’ll see you next Thursday!

WHAT IS UP THOTTIES! 🥂 We are finally back (oops, sorry) and so so glad you have stuck with us. We use this episode as a catch up. What's up, how ya been? We bring a lot of big, HUGE life updates and don't worry - we won't be gone as long again because we are trying to get our lives together by actually scheduling some bulk erecting days 🤦🏼‍♀️ Kelsey shares her life updates, ranging in a LOT of different emotions 🙃 and Melissa shares some HUUUUGE news 👶🏽 and we are just over the moon.... is 28 going to be our best year yet???!!! Guess you will just have to stay tuned to find out! See you next week ✨

THOTTTIESSSSS, we’ve missed you! Kelsey is distraught as homeboy is "cross country" in Europe and Melissa finds peace in hearing about murders??? Hurricane Idris, Adelaide or whatever the heck she wants to be called made landfall but on a serious note, we are sending our prayers to every single person/family that has been affected by the hurricane. Kelsey needs glasses?? 🤓 Welcome to 28, girlie pop! 🥂 we’re still looking to start a gofundme for Kelsey’s insurance needs. We’re uninsured and unwell over here and takesie backsies are NOT ALLOWED. 🚫 Kelsey’s grandmothers old southern money Charleston-esque accent brings her comfort and Melissa says that people screaming at the top of their lungs in a northern accent is what calms her down 🤦‍♀️ Melissa has an ick but ends up being one big contradiction. Football season is here 🏈 and here comes the loudest dawg in Georgia aka KELSEY! The Icks are ick’n and Joey damn sure went to Joe. We promise we’re going to become more consistent ☀️ talk to you next week, thottie hotties 💋 

Thotties we are thottin this week 🥴 The heat is triggering us, people who love this weather trigger us, and being exhausted triggers us 😡 Invest. In. Your. Beds. Guys!!!! Or if you’re Kelsey and homeboy, just invest in a sleep number and call it a day. Are you guys on Melissa’s side and will be brutally honest with your friends or are you going to ✨ listen ✨ and support them? Kelsey has been planning on perfecting her acoustics in the bathroom for years and you know what???? If Melissa doesn’t believe in her, homeboy sure will 😂 Both of us girlies don’t over plan our outfits so to speak, but we are definitely not two no planning girlies! Melissa’s period is late for 333 days, do you think she’s preggo guys??? We love McDonalds and Taco Bell but we also love being fit thotties and finding a balance is TOUGH. Melissa needs to stop adding things to the outline that she can’t remember 🤦‍♀️ Kelsey’s ick is Joe and then of course Joey goes to Joe as ALWAYS. See you next week! 🥂

THOTTIES WE’RE BACK!!! 🍾 Joe put Kelsey in a giggly mood or maybe it’s homeboy?? We’ll just go ahead and say it’s both 😛 we have homeboy and we have Franklin 🐢 and with homeboy, Kelsey wants everyone to STOP 🛑 swiping up ok??? Anyone who picks up Melissa with pizza is a winner in her book and homeboy definitely passed the test 💪 Kelsey’s allergy to DAWN has come back with vengeance and it’s a pain in all our sides tbh. The girlies speak on the latest tiktok trend of  #GirlDinner and Melissa came to the realization she comes from an almond mom 🤦‍♀️ anyone else relate??? Kelsey is back in her ✨ book era ✨ and we go back and forth on being a kindle girlie or physical copy girlie and we’re in the middle. Joey thought he could be Simone Biles herself which made him JOE this week *tune into instagram for the video* and  homeboy has Kelsey waking up TOO early and it’s an ick. Smell ya next time 🥂

Starting off unstable this week with Melissa doing Kelsey’s job 😂 I mean we can’t even get to check ins without random questions to kick things off - so thotties, what kind of fruit do you like? Are you berry bitches or are you sticking with stone fruits? We love Kelsey’s smitten vibes, is it finally her lover girl era??? 😍 We take a moment to discuss the hard parts that come with grief; we’re keeping Melissa and her family in our prayers this week. As for this weeks pop culture… all we have to say is do better 🙄 you’d really think that Kelsey was paid by Pluckers with how much she talks about it, surely there will be a whole podcast episode in the future about their trip to Pluckers, I mean Texas 🤪 As adults we have come the conclusion that there are just NOT enough hours in the day, and when the vibes are off it’s even worse, but we will get through it, we are ✨survivors✨ after all AND BE SURE TO INVEST IN YOUR PEOPLE 👏🏻 Double icks from homeboy this week and we know Kelsey is STRUGGLING 🥵 of course Joey to Joe will have everyone sayin g "Dammit Joe" with us! Lastly, here’s a voicemail from PopPop, rest easy 💙

While Kelsey may have shown up ✨ slightly ✨ on time to record, she did not show up caffeinated and she’ll tell you aaaallll about it 😉 but seriously, coffee is life and if you know you know. We don’t settle for gas station coffee in the booty room 🛑 but is homeboy going to make Kelsey a tea drinker??? Stay tuned because Melissa is worriED. Melissa is popping bottles whether it’s on an airplane or in her house 😂 we hear some pretty controversial opinions on a hot topic from the girlies but are we surprised that they’re controversial??? We love Kelsey’s attempt at being a list girlie despite her life still being chaotic, her words not ours 😂 coming from Kelsey’s favorite podcast, we are full of literal shits and giggles as we do the SPRITE CHALLENGE and SUFFER the rest of the episode with our flatulence 💨 

**TW suicide/SA** We’re starting off hot and heavy after a *much* needed week off describing how Kelsey was toxic for her birthday and how Melissa is a baby when it comes to shots 🙈 we’re gossip girl Stans and haters even if homeboy and Joey don’t understand! Is Kelsey in love??? Maybe not but Melissa is with this situation and we’re here for it 😆 hearing Kelsey swoon over her new boo makes Melissa just so happy for her bestie 😍 Mulan and Belle talk about how things should be ILLEGAL in Mulan’s perspective and no she will not elaborate. Twin beds are ILLEGAL and we stand by that! Kelsey has some toxic tingsss to get us through the week so side note, full judgement 😈 Melissa fully judges all bodily functions and she won’t apologize for it! Cheers, thotties 🥂

Prosecco bottles aren’t for Melissa and you can clearly hear that in the first 15 seconds of this episode 🫠 Joe tried DECEIVING the perfect calendar Melissa has placed in her life, which track since he is always problem! Kelsey is fully committing to hard launching bae down the line, and we’re kinda here for it?? 👀mTHIS DAMN SUBMARINE has us in a choke hold with asking why???? How???? Again—WHY??? We’re ending the Scandoval series with our last huge ICK towards the worm with a mustache 🤢 Do you remember your first kiss??? Whether it was pre-k or 6th grade, the thotties have a hilarious story for both 😂 pop some bottles, thotties 🥂

Raise your hand if you’re a girlie with stomach issues 🙋🏼‍♀️ we’re delusional and long winded with this episode as we start with our intrusive thoughts on wanting Taco Bell and what our orders entail. Joey D and Melissa have a new adventure they are embarking on and Melissa is slightly stressed but excited! Stay tuned for all the updates on that 😜 Kelsey and Melissa have battled this battle for the last couple years but we are SIDE 👏🏻 PART 👏🏻 GIRLIES 👏🏻 and we will live and die on this hill. We talk hot topics as we discuss what era we could go back and visit. We talk about parenting styles, our own experiences and what we wish to do in our future. Kelsey’s ick confuses us all at first and then we learn Kelsey prefers rotweillers and Joey went to Joe makING ALL OF US shake our heads..#gratuity #gstax 🤦🏼‍♀️ Be back next week ya thotties 🥂

We are absolutely not stable this week coming off of Kelsey’s birthday and it tracks. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR GEMINI QUEEN!!! We love our Kelsey and we are so glad she was born—gemini or not 😂 Buffets are not a thing for the girlies and that’s just that. We both have equal icks when it comes to the consumers and workers in the service industry 😂 when it comes to mowing our own lawns, Kelsey and Melissa are very firm on their beliefs and ain’t no man gonna tell us any different 👊 We don’t have a thotties with thots but we do have a THOTTIE WITH A THOUGHT and we are both CoHo Stans in this booty room. Melissa is salty that everyone in her life (except Kelsey) is MARRIED—she’s trying to be a THOT at a wedding and buss it down thotiana style. Melissa proves that she is the ✨ ultimate✨ best friend and knowing 99% of what Kelsey wants for her wedding so dear future Mr. Breitling, we got it covered!!! Ending on such a high note of how special a girl gang and even an community it is to have around you helps push you through all the hard times in life ❤️ We switch it up this week with Melissa having an ick and Joey went to Joe for Kelsey…nevertheless, hilarious 😂 see you next week thotties!!!

We’re starting off strong this week with both of the girlies on the verge of a menty b 🫠 Does Kelsey have a spending problem? Maybe. Is that the reason why we all feel poorer than po’? Absolutely not, it’s this ECONOMY! Melissa’s raw dogging life and the vibes are very low whilst doing so 😂 We’re a few days short but we wanted to briefly speak on how May was Mental Health Awareness Month and how it’s okay to not be okay ❤️ We make a lot of jokes but we are so passionate about this subject and we love and care for all you thotties! Melissa’s taking some charge of her life has committed to a Google Calendar and we recommend 10/10. Kelsey and family days are a great thing in theory and then both thotties start nerding out on history because well, they love history despite what you may think 🧐 Ricky Rosé is quite literally a menace to a small town and we’re here for it 😈 We speak makeup, skincare routines, and then this weeks Joey to Joe even made Joey himself try and come and defend himself! Kelsey’s ick is not at all shocking if you know Kelsey a little bit. Be back next week thotties 🥂

Welcome back, thotties! Kelsey is starting off strong with her being ✨ delicious✨ Kelsey loves a good plum and Melissa is a berry bitch so that’s that. Silly goofy moods happen quite often for our own thottie M-Dawg and K-Sizzle can’t believe it 🤪 We dig deeper into Melissa’s Pump Rules thoughts and we still are not here for the worm with a mustache, Scandavol 🤢 We can always count on Melissa for her wild and always random thoughts and she’s just as wild with her ideas on what to get permanently on her body….We HIGHLY encourage everyone to follow what the Crime Junkie ladies have taught us and to MAKE AN “IF I GO MISSING FOLDER!!!!” We look very farrrrr into the future and talk about giving eulogies at each other’s funerals and the contrast is quite large 😂  While we have our infamous enders with Joey to Joe and Kelsey's ick... Kelsey just does not have the heart to give her future baby daddy the boo corny tomato schtick 😭 see ya next week! 🥂

We’re back this week hot and heavy off of Kelsey’s date high 😉 Enjoy the sweet rumblings of Kelsey’s arm movements as we enter into this episode 😂 We’re still ICKED by mini vans but we still ❤️ hot dads in minis but NOT ones in souped up minis! Melissa speaks on her “short woman complex" as Kelsey talks about her *slight* car troubles 🫠 Melissa once again proves to us that she is unstable as she states by claiming that listening to Meek Mill CALMS HER DOWN, while Kelsey’s playlist quite literally stresses Melissa out. Men will never ever tell us how to dress and that’s just on period 💅 Melissa has claimed herself as a low level scAAAmer and she’s fine with that, but more?? Absolutely not. Never forget, mean girls are gross and that’s that, period. Byeeee thotties 🥂

Welcome back and thotties we are hitting it strong with the poorly done Russian accents, wheezes, and rain sounds to soothe you all within the first three MINUTES 🫠 Melissa just went to her new husband’s, Zach Lane Bryan’s (yes full name), concert and she is in love to say the LEAST. Meanwhile, Nana is giving Kelsey a run for her money with all the sass and attitude 👀 Kelsey asks a VERY important question in Melissa’s opinion and Melissa and Kelsey, as always, have their hot takes and random thoughts! We ❤️ hot dads in mini vans... Lastly, be sure to let us know about our newest tattoo idea and if we should get it or not 😂 Don’t go on a downcline this week, thotties! 🥂

Welcome back, thotties! 🥂 We’re still feeling a little down this week but we’re here pushing through it, yet again 🫠 *trigger warning* We dive deep down into the world of mental health and where both of the girlies are at in this point in our lives.  Just normal best friend tings, liiiike getting our eggs checked 😜 We be going through it, but in the end we will always move forward and push on 💪🏻 we go off on another tangent about healthcare and it gets us fiiiiired up! WE GRADUATED TEN YEARS AGO?! HOW does it feel like just yesterday and years ago at the same time??? We dive deep into real friendships, supporting one another and supporting and empowering women in general. This week, we give our icks from high school and they are oh so icky 🤢 

We are here on this lovely Thursday and I guess Melissa decided she wanted to shout into her mic and we are CHAOTIC. So that’s that… 🫠 Tequila High Noon Seltzers?? Yeah it’s a no from Melissa and a hell yeah from Kelsey, duh. Kelsey is a T-Swift Stan all of a sudden???? Morgan Wallen, we may have pre-judged and we’re sorry 😮‍💨 THE GIVEAWAY IS ON AND POPPIN WE JUST SUCK AT LIFE AND EVERYTHING ELSE. Kelsey has some hotttt takes on what should be criminal and illegal and we’re here for all of them, quite literally. Kelsey has a fun but emotional little game for Melissa and an hilarious ick that Melissa can’t keep her wheeze tamed 🥴We end on Melissa’s joey to Joe with Melissa getting called out???? How ghetto, we’ll see you next week, thotties! 🥂

Thotties, you are in for a treat! We are putting the BUT NOT in Stable, but Not in this episode. Life is busy, we had no outline for this episode, so if hot and heavy, raw, off the cuff chit chat is what you like the most, this episode is for you 😜 We babble a lot with some hot takes from Melissa and Kelsey. We give a VERY important PSA to all you moms with hot single sons 👀 we get fired up with some things that really irk us and dive just a little into Kelseys neuroses 💀 Throw in some personality quizzes that are scary accurate. Then we wrap it up with an ick, a Joey to Joe, and much like getting to the end of editing we are out of drinks and tired 😂 see you next week Thotties 🥂

It is thottie Friday!!! 🤪 Life happened this week and well, we’re here to bring you all the unstableness of our lives to you on a good ol Friday. Kelsey started at a new gym, maybe permanently and it’s been a journey. The hassles of being a girl are REAL, from hair, makeup and keeping up with the tans it’s a lot ok and sometimes we have had enough 🤬 Y2k may be coming back and we are terrified for our styles, our waists, and just low rise jeans honestly. Kelsey, of course, has some random questions for Melissa and we expect nothing less from the answers Melissa gives. Memes are our lives and we speak on our absolute favorite ones and how they come out in our everyday lives. We are doing a GIVEAWAY! Stay tuned to our instagram @stablebutnotpod for all the details! 🥂

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, STABLE BUT NOT! 🎉🥂 It is our one year anniversary and we are over the MOON excited to have been doing this for a year - even though it still blows our minds that it has even been that long! We talk out a hilarious misunderstood scenario, what we've learned over the past year, our favorite moments from the pod, and of course some of the funniest faves! 🤪 Not to mention, we drop some big news.... WE HAVE MERCH!!!! We are so excited to share with you thotties that we have our own personal march highlighting who we are as individuals as well as the podcast as a whole - some family friendly and some for the thots ✨ Kelsey brings some iconic icks and a truly gag worthy ick of the week, then Melissa reminds us how Joey will always go to Joe until the end of time 😂 see you in the next year of SBN thotties! 😉

This episode we open on a serious note from the bottom of our hearts. We take a moment to recognize the lives lost in the Nashville shooting, and we hope we unify in this heavy time 💙❤️ The regularly scheduled chaos does continue though with the planning we've put into our social lives this year 🤪 Kelseys' hot take on a truly icky behavior by men, and PLEASE share your thoughts on this topic! Melissa hits us with some thoughts and questions from the LENGTHY list she's accumulated over time. Then we wrap up with a true classic Joey to Joe and a questionable ick of the week from Kelsey.... brought on by Mr. Green Flag 😏 Same time same place next week thotties 🥂

IT'S GATTY DADDY! 🎉 We have two very special guests that we talk about all the time.... KYIA & MAYIA! We were in the mountains with our girls so of course we had to bring them on and attempt to recap the trip so far 🤪 Then once we pull ourselves together a bit we talk about advice we'd give our younger selves now, what we think we needed a little more of as kids, and of course some icky things that people have said to us. Cap that off we the picks of the MEN that tagged along for this trip 😂 finally Kelsey and Melissa give you the more stable recap until our brains and tongues just quit on us... See you thotties next week! 🥂

Thotties, we are diving straight into the chaos with dead bugs so there’s that 🙃 Has anyone ever heard of a specialist for a dog because Melissa sure hasn’t and once again, vets are scaaaamers…It’s Gatlinburg week—KIDDING! We had some technical difficulties so just laugh/cry/make fun of us with us and let’s all play the pretend game k??? 🤦🏼‍♀️ Hangover meals are ✨essential✨ and we want all the foods. We hit on some HOT pop culture topics and we are always team selenerrrrr while being #teamkelseaballerini. Kelsey’s got some bizzareo dreams and  Melissa has a confession..Joey is always Joe and Kelsey 100% comes through with an ick! 🥂

Thotties, I’m so sorry to say Melissa lied this week…. While being from Connecticut is her personality at this point, her new tattoo will have to wait for another day 🤷🏼‍♀️ Are we shocked that Melissa has more obscure Amazon purchases? Kimmy wasn’t going to let Kelsey off the hook for family… until she remembers Kelsey does in fact have her own family as well 🤪 Melissa brings us her very opinionated thoughts & we talk about some of our favorite topics… alcohol, skincare, and makeup 🙌🏻 we wrap it on up with TWO ways Joey went to Joe this week and Kelsey’s lowkey icky ick of the week! We’ll be recharged and rowdy for y’all next week 🥂

Melissa’s obsessed with Joe??? Melissa is also obsessed with her family, as if we couldn't already tell 🤪, which tracks for her lately. Serious question though, whose dad ACTUALLY remembers their friends names?! Because Cash Money Mike sure doesn’t! Diving deep into the topics no one wants to talk about mostly and let’s just say the girlies love their boundaries 👏🏻EVERYONE ANNOYS EVERYONE JUST GROW UP AND ADMIT IT! Joey is an extra queen this week and Kelsey has an ick from the past..Can’t wait to be in your ears next week 😉

Melissa wasn’t prepared, Kelsey is breaking out into rashes, and quite literally we are not stable this week 🙃 We hear Melissa’s famous drunk voice memos and why does Melissa sound different....? Nickleback is for everyone and everyone needs to accept it, okay?! 😡 Outdoor concerts in the summer here in Georgia are a NO from Kelsey. We predict what we think Queen RiRi’s playlist will be for the Super Bowl and somehow end up talking football??? 🏈 Love day is coming up and Kelsey is NOT a fan. Search history or texts leaked? Both Kelsey and Melissa would rather die before having their texts leaked and we proceed to pick random searches to share with you all 😂 We hear some great green flags and an always needed, ick of the week. See you next week, ya thots 🥂

What is up guys! Kelsey is back and oh boy, she is bringing the unstable to the pod this week and Melissa is full blown encouraging her menty b 🫠 but don’t let that fool you, Melissa still makes questionable purchases that make Kelsey seem a little more sane 😂 we’re bringing you a quick PSYCHO recap, a dose of pop culture, more random thoughts, rant about Joe which means bringing Joey to Joe to you MID episode this week 💀 and then some very cringy but on brand voice notes 🫣 wrapping it up with Ick of the week & we can’t wait to be back with you thotties next week! 🥂

Surprise surprise, Kelsey is sick AGAIN! 🤮 While we’re sending her our thots and prayers, Joey D has come, yet again to grace us with his lovingly monotone voice and one word zingers 😉 Joey and Miss started rewatching Jersey Shore and well, all we have to say is CABS ARE HERE! We discover Melissa’s love for rhinestones and bedazzled anything while discovering that Joey thinks Melissa is just like Snooki 🍾 We do a beer draft in honor of Joey’s fav (even though he’s on a sober journey right now) and Melissa *may* becoming a beer girl and Joey becomes everyone’s favorite when he speaks on a man telling a woman what she can/cannot wear. We’ll *hopefully* 🤞🏼 see you next week with Kelsey! Bye, thotties! 

What is up, thotties! 🥂This episode…well it’s…an AUDACIOUS one to say the least. Buckle up because Kelsey takes us on a ROLLER COASTER of a story this week 🫣 It’s definitely a wild ride so be sure to pull out your pen and paper to keep up because your head is surely going to spin throughout this ENTIRE episode! You are sure to be just as angry, baffled, and probably irate by the end 👀 Joe even gets a pass this week, and that is saying A LOT. We’ll be back next week with our regularly scheduled unstable content 😝💙 

NEW YEAR SAME CHAOS! It may be 2023, but Kelsey and Melissa are bringing you the same energy. This week we talk about eye popping purchases, but it wasn't with our money so 💅 We break down our top condiment choices, discuss reality tv shows and if we could survive them. Next week go into city girl vs the STICKS... or maybe we just like being in our homes and away from other people 🤷🏼‍♀️ Kelsey is bringing us some thoughts that really send us both on a tangent. FINALLY *cough cough Kelsey* we have thotties with thots and some books recs. As always we wrap it up with ick of the week and Joey to Joe, and all I can say is these men.... they brought the audacity into 2023 with them 🤦🏼‍♀️ Same place, same time next week! 

LAST EPISODE OF THE YEAR! Fear not though, we recap our chaotic 2022 and even give it a rating out of 10.... that definitely leaves 2023 with a lot of space to be better 🤣 we talk holiday season, traditions, and how unprepared we were and still are to actual be adults 🙃 but we do take a moment to brag on ourselves because well... why wouldn't we!? 💅 Kelsey's ick of the week is the last ick we can take this year and Joey definitely went to Joe and all we can say is get it together Joe! We will see y'all next year with a lot more stories, fails, thotties with thots, and of course laughs 💙

This week, while Kelsey fights the plague 😷, the Miss and Joey cast is back and we start hot and heavy with how Joey bought the wrong Christmas lights for the house 🤦🏼‍♀️ Does anyone else’s husband wait last minute to Christmas shop?? Because Joey does! 😡 Is being married just an automatic switch of becoming homebodies??? Along with Melissa, Joey also has a love for reality tv and he is in denial about it. We talk about our icks towards each other and I can’t lie—they were hilarious! We love when Joey goes to Joe and it’s always interesting to see how Melissa isn’t as perfect as she thinks she is and goes from miss to Melissa 🤗🫣 Kelsey is back next week, and as always be a thot 🤪

  Welcome back thotties to another episode that we really cherish because Melissa’s life was THREATENED this past week and you guys get to hear all (*some) about it! Christmas is just around the corner and we're torn between feeling like a scrooge and also wanting to go all out like Cindy Lou Who’s family 🎄 Thotties with thots is back (finally Kelsey 🤪) and boy do we have a recommendation! All Good People Here by Ashley Flowers is a MUST READ! We also do the famous TikTok trend of giving our icks for each other and we don’t have to search deep for them 😉 Kelsey always has a great ick and Melissa has put together a LIST of how Joey has messed up and went to Joe... Tune in next week guys, go be a thot! ✨

We finally did it guys... the drunk episode is here and it is CHAOTIC. Please don't mind Melissa's voice; she partied a little too hard on Friendsgiving and sounds just like 40 year smoker she wheezes like 😮‍💨 We go on all sides of the spectrum in this one - from TJ Max, deodorant, parents, relationships, what bugs Kelsey, and even a fun little spelling bee which was quite  the treat in itself 😂 We'll see you guys next week maybe a little more sober, maybe not... 

*Slight* mental health decline, party of two 🤦🏼‍♀️ What is up thotties! The girlies are back another week and starting off hot and heavy with routine check ins. We both came to the realization... or at least Melissa is having an unwelcome wake up call that we are in fact getting older and Melissa is traumatized to say the least! Friendsgiving is coming and we are EXCITED 😆 and before you ask, no, the tablescape is no longer happening 😒 anyways (drink) the travel bug is creepin' back and we sit and dream about our top three intercontinental places to go and visit and can you take a wild guess at where Melissa's are??? 😉 tune in next week!

Goooo dawgs, sic ‘em! We went to Athens y’all, and we survived… barely 😂 we recap our game day Saturday and of course we had different ideas of a what we consider a good way to spend the day. Melissa has some interesting random thoughts, Kelsey has a question and Melissa’s answer might get  her cancelled 💀 as always we wrap up with ick of the week and how Joey went to Joe 🤪 We’ll be back next week!

Our second guest is here and she’s an important one - Kimmy K is in the booty room with us this week!! We relive high school Kelsey and Melissa getting yelled at to now coming full circle and watching us as adults. We learn that bathroom etiquette is clearly not a thing with Melissa 🥴 Of course like mother like daughter, Kimmy K has some very strong opinions about a couple famous Kims and we just can’t help but giggle with her. Mom gives us her best advice for marriage and relationships that we know you'll cherish just as much as us ❤️ As always, Kelsey gives us another hilarious ick, Joey nevertheless went to Joe, and now Cash Money Mike went to Michael! See y'all next week!

These thotties have a lot to talk about while being a hot mess, duh. Don't worry guys we haven’t forgotten about Thotties with Thoughts but... it's brief because well Kelsey 🤪 It’s been a busy couple of weeks, okay! So anyways (drink 😉) the Stable but Not girlies tackle conspiracy theories in this one and it definitely was a trip because like almost everything else, we don’t agree on some things LOL even down to our top three cocktails. This one was a wild ride and we hope you enjoy! As always, see you next Thursday!

JACK DADDY TIME HAS FINALLY COME AND WE WERE IN LOVE. This episode is a wild ride from the start of the day of the Jack Harlow concert to the very end. There are some oh so wonderful voice memos that all of you are so lucky to be able to listen to and of course the most hilarious stories to come with. It was about time we talked about what we’re most passionate about—FAST FOOD. We brought pack our draft picks for this special topic and Melissa may or may not have wanted to throw hands at Kelsey taking one. We loved this draft pick game so much, we would give our two front teeth for it ;)

JOEYS BDAY WEEKEND RECAP!!! ⛳️🤦🏼‍♀️🍻 this week we are giving the rundown of how we celebrated our very own Joey! We’re going to test YOUR knowledge of Kelsey & Melissa, and since it’s fall, we take a page from @thefrdishow and do a “Top 5 Fall Things” draft - let us know what draft you’re picking or if you change it completely! Follow along as Kelsey panics about marshmallows, dating, and needing a plan. As always we wrap up with Ick of the Week and Joey to Joe! We’ll be back next week, but it may not be sober…. 😈🤪🥂 

MELISSAS BDAY WEEKEND RECAP! 🥂😜🤘🏻wow… we REALLY committed to our weekend slogan “feral and foul”. Enjoy this very bumpy ride as we talk about our going out process, how we stay in the zone, and how we prefer to recover from all the debauchery! As always, Kelsey’s dating stories are a doozy and Joey will always do something to end up as Joe, and we’ll do it all again next week!