State of Mine

Our Season One finale! In this episode, hosts Lia Neal and Kanwulia Gwam reflect on intentions for 2026. They share habits (bedtime tea, nightly reflection via dictation), permissions (reality TV, enjoying the present), and Q2 plans and close by expressing gratitude for a vibrant Q1, inviting audience feedback, and teasing season two.💌 Follow State of MineApple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/state-of-mine/id1868558247 Spotify: https://tinyurl.com/4zhmnnd9Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stateofminepod/

This episode centers on lessons from mothers—one from China/Hong Kong to New York, the other from Nigeria to Switzerland to the U.S.—highlighting adaptability, resourcefulness, work ethic, faith/optimism, and “go where you’re wanted.” Kanwulia and Lia examine which lessons to unlearn, including nonstop productivity, poor rest habits, and limited vocabulary for feelings, and reflect on how immigrant survival strategies don’t always translate to modern corporate life💌 Follow State of MineApple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/state-of-mine/id1868558247 Spotify: https://tinyurl.com/4zhmnnd9Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stateofminepod/00:00 Girl Scout Cookie Hot Take01:58 OpenAI Versus Anthropic08:28 Moms Background Stories10:47 Lesson 1: Adaptability14:29 Lesson 2: Resourcefulness17:46 Lesson 3: Work Ethic22:03 Parents Evolve Over Time23:34 Youngest Child Perspective26:16 Optimism And Faith29:35 Resilience Without Language32:13 Lesson 4: Go Where You're Wanted34:07 Unlearning 1: Merit Myth At Work36:25 Unlearning 2: Hustle And Rest42:00 Unlearning 3: Feelings Vocabulary And Healing45:17 From Survival To Self Actualization

In this episode of State of Mine, co-hosts Kanwulia Gwam and Lia Neal explore perception, personal branding, and authenticity. Using Paris Hilton’s deliberate, recognizable brand and her ability to leverage public perception to achieve philanthropic and political goals, they consider how everyday people also have brands—what others say about them when they’re not in the room—and the gap between self-perception and others’ impressions. They reflect on stereotypes, approachability, and how behavior, appearance, and reliability shape brand, while balancing clear communication with accepting being misunderstood and limiting others’ access. They connect curated social media and celebrity mystery to branding, discuss people-pleasing and the “five whys,” and emphasize grounding practices like journaling, boredom, and identity acceptance, including a Neil Diamond song about feeling unmoored and finding community through partial alignment.💌 Follow State of MineApple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/state-of-mine/id1868558247 Spotify: https://tinyurl.com/4zhmnnd9Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stateofminepod/00:00 Welcome00:42 No How To Podcast03:09 Paris Hilton Branding05:20 Your Personal Brand06:55 Perception Gaps08:23 Stereotypes And First Impressions13:09 Okay To Be Misunderstood16:46 Curated Mystery Online18:31 Crushes And Projection19:58 Approval and Misunderstanding21:38 Stopping People Pleasing24:38 Five Whys Framework25:47 Journaling and Slowing Down29:08 Neil Diamond Identity Song32:34 Living Beyond Boxes37:45 Owning Your Brand41:30 Control the Narrative43:17 Closing Thoughts

In this episode of State of Mine, Kanwulia Gwam and Lia Neal discuss adult friendships and finding community after life transitions and moves. Lia shares how moving to Indiana post-college taught her to be intentional about making friends through existing communities like work, church small groups, and a boxing gym, emphasizing shared interests and repeated touchpoints. They discuss capacity limits for maintaining relationships, New York’s rise of community-building spaces (running clubs, social clubs, gym “squads,” Partiful events), and a dating app concept (Breeze) designed to push in-person meetings. The hosts reframe “networking” as “nurturing,” highlighting curiosity, better event design, and simple practices for staying in touch—thinking-of-you messages, photos, voice notes, and updates—plus qualities they value in friendships: honesty, inspiration, ease, and feeling energized.💌 Follow State of MineApple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/state-of-mine/id1868558247 Spotify: https://tinyurl.com/4zhmnnd9Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stateofminepod/00:00 Podcast Intro00:21 Birthday Bar Crawl Game03:00 Traitors Strategy Recap04:33 Why Adult Friendships Matter05:05 Making Friends After Moving06:20 Work Church Gym Communities08:18 How Guys Make Friends10:51 Shared Interests and Familiarity12:36 Social Capacity and Burnout17:23 NYC Community Spaces20:44 Organic Dating and Events23:30 Networking Versus Nurturing26:45 Designing Better Events27:54 Networking Versus Nurturing29:45 Curiosity Makes Connections32:23 Subway Story Surprise34:48 Why Nurturing Feels Hard35:36 Simple Check In Habits40:08 Tech That Builds Closeness43:00 Commit Phase Mindset48:24 Curating Your Circle50:44 Closing Reflections and Outro

In this episode of State of Mine, co-hosts Kanwulia Gwam and Lia Neal explore how comparison becomes a conditioned habit—and how it can steal joy when it turns into self-rejection. They trace early roots of comparison to external influences (a teacher publicly returning geometry exams from highest to lowest score, and family/cultural norms of comparing kids), then discuss how competitive swimming and later environments like feedback-heavy workplaces, business school grading on a curve, social media, and LinkedIn reinforce the pattern. They unpack Teddy Roosevelt’s “comparison is the thief of joy,” distinguish healthy comparison as motivation from harmful comparison that undermines identity and self-trust, and share practical interrupts: changing social media habits, saying “I’m not thinking about this” to stop spirals, zooming out, and not comparing personal weaknesses to others’ strengths. They also name the “mosaic” trap of combining different people’s strengths into an unrealistic ideal, reflect on how comparison has cost them peace and pride, and close with a Dr. Seuss reminder that no one is “youer than you.”💌 Follow State of MineApple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/state-of-mine/id1868558247 Spotify: https://tinyurl.com/4zhmnnd9Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@StateofMinepodcast00:00 Welcome to State of Mine00:21 Behind the Scenes Setup02:27 Astrology Summer Forecast03:53 Geometry and Comparison06:04 Family and Culture Comparisons07:24 Listener Prompt and Swimming09:59 Work and Social Media Triggers15:46 LinkedIn Highlight Reels16:51 Comparison Thief of Joy17:22 Reframing Identity and Strengths18:47 When Comparison Becomes Self Rejection19:36 Stop Comparing Weaknesses21:13 Interrupt the Comparison Loop22:15 Zoom Out for Perspective24:30 Highlight Reel Mosaic Trap26:39 Aspiration vs Self Rejection28:53 What Comparison Costs Us31:55 Reclaiming Joy34:22 Grounded Identity Moving Forward35:57 Dr Seuss Final Takeaway

In this episode of State of Mine, co-hosts Kanwulia Gwam and Lia Neal unpack the idea of “chaotic ambition,” sparked by a LinkedIn post from Alexis Barber describing “too many lanes, not enough intention.” Kanwulia relates it to doing everything at once—anxiety-driven overcommitment in undergrad while trying to choose an engineering major—while Lia connects it to the opposite extreme: tunnel-vision ambition through a 20-year swimming career and the never-ending Olympic goalpost. They discuss burnout, misalignment, identity, and “post-Olympic blues,” and explore what helps break the cycle: clarifying values, changing environment/perspective, using informational interviews, and reframing quitting as an empowered choice. Lia also shares how COVID created space to step away from swimming, apply to business school, and help launch Swimmers for Change, a webinar series raising awareness and funds for marginalized communities.Follow State of MineInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/stateofminepod/Want to partner with us? [email protected] minutes:00:00 Welcome to ‘State of Mind’ (Show intro + premise)00:26 The LinkedIn post that sparked this: ‘Chaotic Ambition’01:15 Defining chaotic ambition: potential, but no clear target02:06 What it looked like in real life: packed schedule, burnout, misalignment03:04 When it hit hardest: pre–business school + books that catalyzed change03:55 A different kind of chaos: Lia’s tunnel-vision ambition in swimming06:24 Kanwulia’s version: doing everything in undergrad (major + extracurricular overload)08:50 Root cause: anxiety, fear of the ‘wrong’ decision, and action vs. introspection11:31 Why swimming became the only lane: early structure, clear goals, rule-following15:14 The downside of tunnel vision: four-year cycles, identity, and post-Olympic blues19:03 How to know when to keep going vs. pivot: values, check-ins, and outside perspective22:03 Timeline check: Olympics in high school + Stanford + going pro24:01 Goal-setting in elite sport: always ‘do better than last time’24:57 The Never-Ending Goalpost: One-Upping Yourself After College25:30 Breaking Chaotic Ambition: Change Your Environment + Clarify Values26:12 COVID as a Catalyst: Falling Out of Love With Swimming & Choosing to Stop27:42 Why Mechanical Engineering: Catalysts, Co-ops, and the Harley Davidson Moment31:19 Life After Swimming Anxiety: Depression, Purpose, and Applying to Business School33:51 Swimmers for Change: Social Impact, 2020 Reflection, and Building a Platform36:18 Redirecting Without Regret: J. Cole, the ‘Wrong Way,’ and Making the Abyss Smaller38:51 Informational Interviews: The Fastest Way to Test a New Path40:32 Quitting vs Choosing: Satisfaction, Agency, and the Ikigai Ending

In this episode of 'State of Mind,' hosts Lia Neal and Kanwulia Gwam explore the concept of hobbies and guilty pleasures, challenging traditional views by highlighting the importance of leisure activities for mental rest and creativity. They discuss their personal hobbies, from TV shows like 'Industry' and 'Sex in the City' to creative pursuits like DJ-ing and writing. The conversation delves into societal pressures that influence how we view and categorize hobbies, pushing for the acceptance of hobbies that provide personal joy and relaxation even if they don't traditionally seem 'productive.'00:00 Introduction to State of Mind00:23 TV Shows We're Watching01:47 Redefining Hobbies05:00 Guilty Pleasures vs. Hobbies11:41 Exploring Personal Interests18:43 The Value of Being Bad at Things19:27 Guilty Pleasures vs. Not-So-Guilty Pleasures21:01 Permission to Rest and Relax22:42 Exploring Your Own City26:16 Rediscovering Childhood Hobbies30:31 The Power of Creative Expression36:17 The Emotional Impact of Music38:28 Embracing and Sharing Hobbies39:36 Conclusion and Listener Engagement

Lia and Kanwulia explore the ideas of Self-One and Self-Two from Carrie Soto Is Back, reflecting on striving versus being and how these concepts show up in their own lives.

In this episode, Lia and Kanwulia reflect on what it looks like to commit differently this year. They unpack their respective themes of “commit” and “less is more,” and how those ideas show up in real decisions around time, energy, and priorities.The conversation explores the tension between saying yes and protecting your capacity, learning to listen to your inner compass, and recognizing when discipline is an act of self-care rather than restriction. Through stories about marathon training, sleep, routines, and unlearning overcommitment culture, they discuss how clarity, discernment, and follow-through are built through practice, not perfection.00:00 Introduction to State of Mine00:19 Discussing 'All About Love'00:58 Reflecting on 2025 and Looking Ahead to 202601:45 Commitment and Less is More03:53 Focusing on Priorities06:57 The Power of Saying No12:57 Self-Discipline and Self-Love17:22 Post-Workout Reflections18:21 Commitment in 2026: What's In and Out?19:01 Listening to Your Inner Compass22:23 Books and Imagery23:37 Personal Goals for 202627:04 Constraints and Obstacles29:36 Advice for Setting Goals33:32 Conclusion and Optimism

Lia and Kanwulia discuss the inception of their podcast and introduce themselves, delving into their backgrounds and journeys. They highlight the importance of setting boundaries, learning from experiences, and embracing self-development. Both reflect on lessons learned in 2025, including the value of intentionality and the courage to quit unproductive paths. Looking forward to 2026, they express excitement for applying these lessons, emphasizing the year as one of deliberate action and personal growth. The conversation touches on themes like societal expectations, personal intuition, and the balance between learning and doing.

State of Mine is a podcast about the in-between.For people who followed the rules, hit the milestones, and still found themselves asking, now what?Recorded in New York City, the show explores alignment, recalibration, identity, and what it means to redefine success on one’s own terms. Hosts Lia Neal and Kanwulia Gwam draw from their personal journeys across the Olympics, Ivy League education, top-tier firms, and career pivots to unpack the moments leading up to and often following big achievements.