Walk Beside Me

As a recovering type-A perfectionist, one major theme of parenting for me has been learning not to freak out when things don’t go “perfectly.” In this episode I sit down with my husband to talk about the simplicity-complexity-simplicity paradigm, which has helped me embrace imperfection as a necessary step in the process of becoming whole.Scripture References:Luke 7:36–60

Have you ever found yourself one inconvenience away from a mental breakdown?That was me, just about a week ago.But in this episode, I'm laying out a perspective that has helped me shift from counting my inconveniences to counting my blessings.Whenever any inconvenience arises, I'm asking myself "Who would see this inconvenience as a blessing?" I'm thinking of pioneer parents, refugee mothers, and pretty much anyone who lived 200+ years ago.The truth is, in this day and age we are pretty dang spoiled. And the saddest part is that most of us are MISSING IT.While life certainly still has its challenges, we are so lucky that we get to navigate those challenges with the convenience of modern transportation, electricity, grocery stores, plumbing, heating, air conditioning, the list goes on.Listen in to shed a little light on all the blessings you might have forgotten about. And you might find yourself welcoming each new inconvenience as an opportunity to reflect on how lucky you are.Scripture References:Luke 17:11–19Social Media:Instagram: @walkbesideme.podTikTok: @walkbesideme.pod

Join me in this very special episode for an interview with Kurt Francom, Executive Director of Leading Saints.Leading Saints is a nonprofit organization dedicated to helping Latter-day Saints be better prepared to lead. Kurt Francom leads the organization and hosts its podcast, which is one of the most listened-to podcasts in the Latter-day Saint community with over 21 million total show listens. Kurt is also the author of Is God Disappointed in Me? Removing Shame from a Gospel of Grace, a #1 bestselling book.In this episode, Kurt shares some of his favorite leadership principles and how they apply to parenting. We discuss how parenting is a leadership role, and therefore any good leadership principle can guide parents in their relationships with their children.This episode left me with three main takeaways: relationship comes first, identity is the antidote to shame, and grace empowers. I’m feeling inspired to parent in more godly, grace-filled ways, and I hope this episode leaves you feeling the same.Resources Mentioned:leadingsaints.orgIs God Disappointed in Me? Removing Shame from a Gospel of Grace by Kurt FrancomLeading Saints podcast on Apple PodcastsLeading Saints podcast on SpotifyScripture References:Matthew 6:33 (Seek first the kingdom of God)1 John 4:19 (We love Him, because He first loved us)Follow Walk Beside Me @walkbeside.pod on Instagram and TikTok.

If you’ve been listening to this podcast for any time at all, you know that one of my core beliefs is that in moments of emotional turmoil, the best thing we can do for our kids is to BE the calm that they need.Rather them tell them “calm down,” we show them what calm looks like and let them catch the calm from us.But what do you do if you DON’T feel calm? What if you, the parent, need a little bit of help finding calm yourself?This episode is for you. We’re going through six tools that have helped us in moments of high emotion. And we’re seeing these tools work for our kids as well.The coolest part is that each of these physical tools for body regulation is also a spiritual symbol of Jesus Christ, the Prince of Peace.Join us as we talk about how sunlight, water, grounding, food, song, and the stars can give you the solace you and your kids need in moments of trouble.Scripture References:John 8:12Malachi 4:2John 4:141 Corinthians 10:41 Corinthians 3:11John 6:35Matthew 9:15Resources Mentioned:The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk M.D. Scripture Scouts

Welcome back to the podcast!In this episode, I'm joined by my husband, Trenton Bird. We're celebrating exactly one year since the birth of Walk Beside Me and introducing you to season 2, including updates regarding what the podcast will be like moving forward.Then we're diving into a principle that has been keeping us grounded as we navigate life with a vibrant toddler and adorable baby: show, don't tell. Over and over we've found that with our kids, actions truly speak louder than words. We're discussing why this is, how we have been applying this principle in day-to-day interactions with our kids, and of course how Jesus Christ is the THE ultimate example of teaching via who He is and what He does in addition to His magnificent words.Resources Mentioned:Caps for Sale by Esphyr SlobodkinaThe Courage to Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake KogaScripture References:Matthew 4:19 ("Come, follow me")Luke 10:25–37 (The Good Samaritan)John 13:1–17 (Jesus washing the disciples' feet)Matthew 7:16 (by their fruits)Matthew 21:43 (kingdom will be given to another nation)

In this last episode of 2025, I'm highlighting my three favorite topics covered over the course of the year:AgencyThe Golden RuleRepentance, not PunishmentI'll be taking a little time off for the holidays and then I'll be back in 2026! Thank you for listening and supporting me during the podcast's first year <3

There's been a lot of noise on social media lately about how to prep yourself to answer "annoying" questions and comments from friends and relatives. The questions that tend to come up repeatedly at once-a-year gatherings. Questions like...Is your baby sleeping through the night yet?When are you having another one?Is she a good baby?There seems to be widespread agreement that these comments are overly intrusive, thoughtless, or just plain irritating.While I understand the sentiment, here's the truth...Most of the time, people ask these same-old questions not to be rude, not to annoy, and not to offend.They're just trying to connect.THAT is a gift.And it doesn't serve us to reject a gift merely because it comes in imperfect verbal packaging.In this episode, I'm inviting you to think against the grain and step out of the negative narrative that social media is feeding you. It is a blessing to be so loved that people attempt to connect with you and your family, however awkward it may be.Scripture references:1 Corinthians 13:4–7

Today I’m tackling why I skip solitary confinement (a.k.a. time-out) as a tool for teaching my children. Long story short: it's un-Christlike and there is a better way.If we want our children to know a Heavenly Father who responds mercifully to their mistakes, who pursues the lost sheep rather than exiling it, then we as parents have to model that mercy first.Resources Mentioned:The Montessori Toddler by Simone DaviesUnconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn“Your Repentance Doesn’t Burden Jesus Christ; It Brightens His Joy” by Sister Tamara W. RuniaWBM Episode 15: Teach Repentance, Not Punishment (pt. 1)WBM Episode 16: Teach Repentance, Not Punishment (pt. 2)Scripture References:Luke 15:4Isaiah 54:8

Today I’m sharing the story of a small miracle that taught me this important lesson:Parenting is like gardening. There are seasons of reaping and seasons of sowing. And just because you aren’t tasting good fruits right in this moment doesn’t mean that you aren’t being successful.Maybe the bitter moments are the greatest opportunities to sow seeds that will bear sweet fruit in the future.Resources Mentioned:Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn (and his other books)A Theory of Objectivist Parenting by Roslyn RossMagda GerberMaria MontessoriThe Montessori Toddler by Simone DaviesNo Bad Kids by Janet Lansbury (and her other books & resources)Scripture References:Ecclesiastes 3:1–3Doctrine & Covenants 6:33Galatians 6:9–10Alma 41:15Mark 4:26–27

There are certain things about parenting that are physically exhausting: waking up for a baby in the middle of the night, folding piles of laundry, chasing a toddler around.So let's do whatever we can to avoid making it mentally exhausting, too.One of the BEST ways to free up your mind mentally as a parent is to recognize all the little ways you are treating your child as an object or project rather than a real, full-fledged human. Stop putting on the "parent" performance, and you will witness a much freer, happier version of yourself emerge.In this episode, I'm exploring simple ways that we can drop performance from parenthood and replace it with relationship. I promise that implementing this mindset shift will make your days feel easier, lighter, and overall much more enjoyable. Because instead of acting out the behaviors of a "good parent," you just get to be the best version of YOU. Which is so much more sustainable and impactful in the long run.Scripture References:Luke 6:31Matthew 22:39

Today I'm sharing some recent reflections on perfectionism, a condition I've dealt with my whole life.Becoming a parent has shown me the dangers of perfectionism. Yet I realized recently that pursuing perfection or excellence isn't the problem.The problem is thinking you can make yourself perfect on your own, and letting your own (or the world's) definition of perfection guide you.In this episode, I'm unpacking how we can let Christ perfect every moment, which will turn the pursuit of perfection from arduous to life-giving.Scripture References:​Matthew 21:31​Matthew 5:48​Matthew 5:20​Moroni 10:32​2 Nephi 32:9

In this episode, I'm discussing how the way Jesus addressed the woman caught in adultery is the PERFECT, grounding story to remember when we are parenting our own children in public.Like Jesus, we can slow down and remember that impressing other people is never worth sacrificing our relationship with our kids.Scripture References:John 8Mosiah 3:19

I’ve been thinking about the argument “but kids need structure!” for some time now. The mentality seems to be, “Yes kids can have some autonomy, BUT they need to be controlled a little bit too.”I’ve come to the conclusion that kids DO need structure, but it’s not what most people think. It’s not a flawless bedtime routine, three perfect meals a day, or strictly delegated chores.I’m not saying these things don’t work for some familiesBUT the one “structure” that ALL kids truly NEED is a parent whose character is steadfast and immovable. A parent who can stand still in any storm. No external structure is as valuable or necessary as your internal structure.I'm thrilled that one of my friends from law school, Paris Thomas, could join me for this episode. From an outsider's perspective, his childhood was very lacking in the "structure" department. His dad was incarcerated, his two older brothers were killed in gang violence, and he experienced several years of homelessness.Yet in spite of it all, Paris went on to serve as a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He served in the Navy. He ran for office at the age of 28. He went to law school. And he's now working as a prosecutor.And Paris credits all of this accomplishment to his mother—the woman who gave him the structure of her character rooted in Christ. In this episode, he shares stories of how she laid the foundation for Paris's remarkably giving spirit, even in the midst of constant trial and hardship.Scripture References:Luke 10:38–42 (Mary & Martha)Matthew 19:16–30 (the rich young ruler)3 Nephi 11 (Jesus visiting the Nephites)Resources Mentioned:BYU Magazine article about Paris Thomas: "He Shall Overcome"

Today I'm challenging a popular paradigm in the world of faith-based leadership: the "high love, high expectations" framework.High expectations can be detrimental. When we set an expectation, we make our emotions and reactions dependent on another person's behavior. Essentially, we say "I will only be happy with you if you do X."A more scriptural approach is high "faith, hope, and charity." With faith, we always believe in the child's unseen potential. With hope, we always allow for repentance and change. With charity, we respond with kindness regardless of the child's behavior.While expectations can go unmet and be disappointed, faith, hope, and charity never fail.Scripture References:Alma 7:24 ("See that ye have faith, hope, and charity.")Hebrews 11:1 ("Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.")Matthew 17:20 ("If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, nothing shall be impossible unto you.")1 John 3:3 ("Every man that hath this hope in him purifieth himself, even as he is pure.)Ether 12:4 ("Hope comes of faith and maketh an anchor to the soul.")1 Corinthians 13:4–8 (Charity)

Today's episode is a quick hitter on a topic that can be triggering for a lot of parents: tone.Short story shorter, the best way we can help our kids speak in more "respectful" tones is to (1) dispel the fear, and (2) model what we want to hear.Listen to the full episode for more.Scripture References:1 Samuel 16:72 Timothy 1:7Matthew 7:12Matthew 7:2

In this episode, I'm sharing how prayer is saving me from some of the most intense guilt I've ever felt in my life.Since. I was very young, I've struggled with perfectionism and the crippling, sometimes physically painful guilt that comes along with it. Nowhere has this been more true that in my relationship with religion and God.Until one day, a friend asked me a question that started to shift my view of how God sees my mistakes and how He wants me to see them.Motherhood is solidifying my new view of how God wants us to respond to our guilt, because there are SO many opportunities to fall prey to "mom guilt." It's been especially prevalent for me as I've welcomed a new baby into our home. When everyone needs my love, it's too easy for me to believe that I'm never doing enough for anyone.Join me as I share what God is teaching me through this chapter in my life.Scripture References:Romans 5:1Romans 8:11 John 3:19–20Matthew 11:28–30Matthew 14–15 (loaves and fishes)Numbers 21:4–9 (bronze serpent)Resources Mentioned:Walk Beside Me Episode 4: Preaching Repentance: It's Not What You ThinkMore on religious scrupulosity

This episode is all about the most important skill you can develop as a parent: seeing correctly.In a book I read recently, I learned that the difference between a good artist and a not-so-good one is not a lack of skill or talent. It's a fundamental difference in the way the two artists see.The same is true in parenting.If you can see your children accurately, you don't really need to worry about anything else. You will naturally say and do all the right things.And if you don't see correctly, nothing you do can really be right, even if it appears to "work" some of the time.I'll give you practical tools on how to SEE by outlining how the five basic perception skills in drawing are excellent parallels for the perceptions skills we need to thrive as parents.Drawing Skills:Perceiving edgesPerceiving negative spacePerceiving relationshipsPerceiving lights and shadowsPerceiving the wholeDrawing Skills:Perceiving what's in your control (and what's not)Perceiving who YOU want to be as a parentPerceiving the true nature of relationshipsPerceiving the child's perspective beneath behaviorPerceiving the whole child, including eternal identity and potentialResources mentioned:Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain by Betty EdwardsScripture references:Matthew 6:22–23Matthew 7:17–18Matthew 23:25–26Matthew 7:21–23

This episode is for anyone who feels a bit of panic while noticing their old habits and weaknesses creep back into sight.This is where I have been the past few weeks. But the panic has dissipated due to some scriptural truths and spirit-given analogies that are helping me as I regain strength. I'm understanding weakness in a way that is more empowering and hopeful than ever before in my life.Resources Mentioned:Hannah's Children: The Women Quietly Defying the Birth Dearth by Catherine PakalukScripture References:2 Corinthians 12:7–10Exodus 4:10–12Ether 12:27

I'm so lucky to have my cousin Melissa and her husband, Lawrence, join my on the podcast today.Melissa and Lawrence Stone have been through the gauntlet of grief: In 2012, they lost their oldest daughter Ethne in a car crash when she was 2 years old. A couple years later, their third son was born with a birth defect. And only a few years after that, their son Thomas was stillborn.Miraculously, the Stones have taken these experiences and reaped from them blessings, both for themselves and for others. One of these blessings is their book Our Story(s), which will be published on September 15, 2025, just two days before what would be Thomas's 8th birthday.In this episode, the Stones share highlights from their book, including:How couples can support each other through their different experiences of griefHow their experiences have shaped their relationships with GodHow friends and family can best support loved ones who have experienced lossJoin us in honoring the lives of Ethne and Thomas Stone by performing an act of service on their birthdays:Ethne: November 11Thomas: September 17Resources MentionedOur Story(s) by Lawrence and Melissa Stone, preorder on Amazon; paperback release on September 15, 2025"Lord, I Believe" by Elder Holland, April 2013 General Conference addressScripture ReferencesMatthew 19:22–24

Right after Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit, God said to Eve, “I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception. In sorrow thou shalt bring forth children . . . .”At first glance, this looks like a punishment. It looks like God making Eve (and all women) suffer for what she did.But some personal spiritual experiences I’ve had recently make me wonder whether childbirth has to be framed as a punishment.Instead, I’m starting to see it as a gift given to Eve to help her understand Christ’s redeeming love.I know that childbirth, more than anything else, has helped me come to understand Jesus’s sacrifice and how He feels about us.Eve needed this understanding of Christ’s love more than anyone else, because more than anyone else she was set up to feel immense shame for her decisions.And to this day, women tend to be the most hard on themselves, the most perfectionistic, the most prone to shame.What if childbirth is not the punishment to further condemn us, but rather a gift to help us taste redeeming love?Scripture References:Genesis 3:16Moses 5:11Hebrews 12:2Genesis 7:12 (40 days and nights of rain during the flood)Exodus 24:18 (Moses on Mount Sinai for 40 days)Numbers 14:33–34 (Israel wandering for 40 years)Matthew 4:2 (Jesus fasting 40 days)Acts 1:3 (40 days between Jesus’s resurrection and ascension)Moses 1:39Resources Mentioned:Walk Beside Me episodes on Punishment: Episode 15 and Episode 16

The phrase "give yourself grace" has been on my mind a lot as I navigate the postpartum period following my second daughter's birth. We often use this phrase to reassure someone going through a difficult time that they deserve mercy because they are doing the best that they can given the circumstances.I am all for extending mercy—this is the essence of Christ's mission.But true GRACE—Christ's grace—goes even deeper. It's not just about forgiveness. It's also about empowerment.Am I actually doing the best that I can...or just the best that I know how?What if I turned to the One that knows better? Who can help me find a way to show up how I want to even under difficult circumstances?And is it possible to show up the way that I want to if I draw upon REAL grace—Christ's enabling and strengthening power?Join me in this episode as I answer these questions and outline what it actually means to give yourself grace. Featuring lots of sweet newborn noises from baby Scottie :)Scripture References:John 8:1–11

This episode is part 2 of Baby Bird #2’s birth story. I’m comparing my first daughter’s birth with this one, laying out all the practical tips and gospel principles that helped my second birth experience go SO much smoother than my first.My biggest takeaway? Everything is a choice. The noises you make during labor are a choice. The way you think about pain is a choice. The way you treat your spouse during a contraction is a choice. And I want to choose Jesus Christ's way in every circumstance, unconditionally.Resources Mentioned:The Bradley Method (birth course for couples)Unconditional Parenting by Alfie KohnThe Untethered Soul by Michael Alan SingerScripture References:Matthew 4:1–11 (Tempted while fasting)Matthew 14:13–14 (John the Baptist’s death)Luke 22:49–51 (Healing the soldier)John 19:26–27 (Entrusting Mary’s care to John)Luke 23:34 (Forgiving crucifiers)Matthew 5:44–48 (verses about showing unconditional love and kindness)

I am THRILLED to announce the birth of another sweet babe into our family!This episode is a play by play of everything that went down to get our baby earthside. I couldn't have done it without the support of my husband, a.k.a. birth doula. So I decided I didn't want to do this episode without him, either.Listen in to hear about shark fishing during early labor, our Mary and Joseph moment, and this baby's gender reveal.In next week's episode, I'll be outlining all the perspectives that helped me stay strong through this unmedicated labor.Resources Mentioned"Behold Thy Mother" by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

In this episode, I'm discussing the power of welcoming our children's requests for the things they want, plus how we as parents and spouses can kindly make requests of our loved ones.So many adults struggle to ask for help or go after the things they want in life. I'm confident that the fear of asking for the things we want is rooted in the way that adults responded to our expressions of desire when we were children.Let's give our kids the confidence to ask for the things they want by celebrating their expressions of desire, as well as by modeling with our own kind requests that respect others' agency.Resources Mentioned:Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall B. RosenbergWalk Beside Me episode 7: "Spoiling" vs. Godly GivingWalk Beside Me episode 2: Watch Your Thoughts: Is It “Bad Behavior” or Just Culture Shock?Scripture References:Doctrine & Covenants 4:3Doctrine & Covenants 137:8–9James 1:5Doctrine & Covenants 42:61Matthew 7:7–8

With a lot of new listeners out there recently, I wanted to use this episode to shed a little more light on who I am and why I'm doing what I'm doing.I'm sharing my personal background, which includes a long history of perfectionism and high-achieving, but also a good dose of guilt and shame. All of which led me to be terrified of parenting. Not only because I was afraid of doing it imperfectly, but also because I didn't want to pass along my perfectionism to my children.Even though I knew I wanted something different for my kids, I didn't know what the alternative was until my daughter was about 4 months old. Conscious parenting resources rocked my world, revolutionized my relationship with God, and ultimately changed the way I see and interact with every human being, including myself.Resources Mentioned:A Theory of Objectivist Parenting by Roslyn RossThe Mellow Mama (find her on Instagram, YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and her website)Scripture References:Matthew 7:2Other good episodes to get you started with grasping how conscious parenting aligns with the gospel:Episode 2: Watch Your Thoughts: Is It “Bad Behavior” or Just Culture Shock?Episode 3: God Trusts Your Kids with Agency. Do You Trust Him?Episode 4: Preaching Repentance: It's Not What You ThinkEpisode 15: Teach Repentance, Not Punishment (pt. 1)Episode 16: Teach Repentance, Not Punishment (pt. 2)

This past week I finished reading "The Outward Mindset," a book published by the Arbinger Institute.Although this book is written primarily for leaders of business organizations, the principles it teaches are totally applicable to parents. Which makes sense, because parents are organizational leaders—the organization just happens to be called a family, and the people being led just happen to be small humans called children.I love the mindsets taught in this book so much that I had to dedicate a whole episode to it. Join me as I discuss what it means to parent with an outward mindset. We'll also examine the "trappings" of parenthood that unintentionally disconnect us from our children.Resources Mentioned:The Arbinger InstituteThe Outward Mindset by the Arbinger InstituteBonds that Make Us Free by Terry WarnerLeading Outward Podcast: Apple & SpotifyScripture References:Luke 2:7Matthew 4:9–10John 6:15Mark 2:16–17Matthew 21:5Matthew 20:25–28Mosiah 3:5–7Mosiah 2:10–14

About a month ago, I quit my job as an attorney and went full-time, stay-at-home-mom mode.In this episode, I’m sharing the questions and principles that have guided me as I’ve navigated law school, working as a part-time lawyer, and (temporarily?) "retiring."Questions for decision making:What feels like love?In a perfect world, what would I want? What decision is closest to that?What would I do if I didn’t care what anyone else thinks?What would I do if I didn’t have any worries about the future or end result?What would I do if I knew I would succeed no matter what?Compare gains and losses between the two decisionsWhich choice would I be more grateful for 5 years from now? 20 years from now? At the end of my life? In eternity?What part of me will die if I choose X? What part of me will grow?What would Jesus do?Which choice more effectively builds the kingdom of God?Which choice feels more interesting and exciting?Which choice feels more like discipleship?Which choice reminds me of my patriarchal blessing?Which choice will help me develop Christlike attributes?Which choice will help me become a better tool in the Lord’s hands?If worldly definitions of success didn’t matter, what would I choose?Which choice will open more doors?Where will I learn the most?Which choice will yield more valuable connections and relationships?Which choice will enhance my relationships with my family? Which choice leads to more long term happiness?Which choice allows more freedom?Which decision do you have to justify less to yourself? To others?Resources Mentioned:David A. Bender quoteA Theory of Objectivist Parenting by Roslyn RossScripture References:Proverbs 3:5–6

The most stressful thing for me as a new parent was trying to figure out what the truth about parenting is. There is a LOT of noise out there, especially in today's world of social media and information overload.In this episode, I'm sharing how I use 2 Timothy 1:7 (a.k.a. my favorite scripture verse of all time) as a framework to identify what advice is meant for me. This framework helps me decide whether the advice I'm receiving comes from a place of godly, eternal principles, or if it is merely "the philosophies of men."This episode should be especially helpful for new parents who might be in the exact same mental space that I was when I became a parent. The truth is that there is no magic pill or one-size-fits-all solutions in parenting. But if you can ask yourself the right questions, you will land on ideas and tools that can be extremely empowering for you and your children.Resources Mentioned:Brigham Young's Journal of DiscoursesA Theory of Objectivist Parenting by Roslyn RossScripture References:Doctrine & Covenants 88:118Doctrine & Covenants 46:15Moroni 10:82 Timothy 1:7Doctrine & Covenants 9:8–9

For the first three years of my marriage, I struggled to see my husband's and my differences in a helpful light. I was quick to judge, condemn, accuse, and go into an emotional spiral.While I am still actively letting go of these natural man tendencies, since becoming a mom I have gained some perspectives that have blessed me with an abundant supply of compassion and patience for ALL humans. Not just my kids, but also my husband and myself.In this episode I'm sharing the three perspective shifts that have helped me the most:​Everything is already exactly as it should be​We are all grownup toddlers​Reframe differences as skill-based rather than character deficitsI'm so grateful that marriage has given me endless opportunities to learn and grow. It wouldn't be possible without my patient and forgiving husband.Resources Mentioned:Nonviolent Communication by Marshall B. RosenbergEpisodes 15 & 16 of Walk Beside Me (deep dive on punishment—I accidentally said episodes 16 & 17 but I meant these ones 🙃)

In this episode, I’m inviting you to throw out the one ingredient that will ruin parenting for you: FEAR.I’m sure you’ve heard “faith over fear” a million times. But unfortunately, the world’s way of parenting is extremely fear-driven, which means it can be pretty counterintuitive to parent from a place of faith.Join me in this episode as I address five common parenting fears:Fear of what others thinkFear of the child’s emotionsFear of rejection/disobedienceFear of the child’s inner badnessFear of messing up the childWe’ll talk about how they show up, why they’re unfounded, and how to release them. I promise if you hang with me and apply these principles, your days with your kids will start to feel exponentially more peaceful and fun.Follow on Instagram: @brooklynmbirdResources mentioned:Walk Beside Me Episode 7: Spoiling vs. Godly GivingTessa Romero: @tessaromero_ on InstagramScripture References:Genesis 26:24Isaiah 41:102 Kings 6:162 Timothy 1:71 John 4:18Doctrine & Covenants 67:10Doctrine & Covenants 68:6Doctrine & Covenants 38:30Luke 6:26Psalm 56:4Isaiah 51:7Psalm 56:4Moroni 8:16Psalm 27:1Proverbs 29:25James 1:5

This episode is part 2 of 2 in my series on punishment. In part 1 (episode 15), I discussed the practical and spiritual reasons that we don't need to use punishment in order to teach our kids.If you haven't listened to part 1 yet, listen to it here:Apple podcastsSpotifyYouTubeIn this episode, I'm offering six alternatives to punishment: six ways that we can teach our kids without intentionally making them suffer for what they did:Teach by exampleSpace and silenceCommunicate and follow throughAsk questionsParablesSongResources Mentioned:The Lectures on FaithNo Bad Kids by Janet LansburyHunt, Gather, Parent by Michaeleen DoucleffScripture References:Matthew 4:19 ("Come, follow me")Romans 2:4Doctrine & Covenants 58:43Just a few examples of questions Jesus asked: Matthew 5:46, Matthew 6:27, Matthew 12:11, Matthew 14:31, Matthew 16:13–15, Matthew 19:17Matthew 13:3–23 (Parable of the Sower)Matthew 20:1–16 (Parable of the Laborers in the Vineyard)Luke 10:25–37 (Parable of the Good Samaritan)Luke 15:11–32 (Parable of the Prodigal Son)Matthew 13:24–30 (Parable of the Wheat and the Tares)Matthew 25:14–30 (Parable of the Talents)PsalmsFollow on Instagram: @brooklynmbird

This episode is part 1 of 2 in my series on punishment.In this episode, I talk about the practical and spiritual reasons for why we don't need to use punishment in our parenting.If our goal as parents is to teach our children, then it's time for us to start thinking deeply about the lessons that punishment is really teaching. Does it really teach kids self-discipline and morality? Or does it teach them that...Making another human suffer is the best way to respond to their mistakesKids can't be trusted to do the right thing unless there's a threat or a bribe involvedAs long as I don't get caught making a mistake, I'm safeNot only does punishment do the opposite of what we hope it will, it is also the opposite of repentance and the opposite of what Jesus Christ teaches.Jesus says that He came not to condemn the world, but to save it. He says that He suffered so that we don't have to suffer if we repent. He says do good to those that hate you, persecute you, or do evil to you. For some reason, we can apply this counsel to strangers, but when it comes to our kids, we default to "an eye for an eye."It's time to rise above the world's way of doing things and have faith in Christ's way.In next week's episode, I'll answer the burning question you'll be left with at the end of this one: If we aren't going to use punishment to teach, what tools can we use instead?Resources Mentioned:Unconditional Parenting by Alfie KohnTom Piccirilli: @thedadvibes on InstagramScripture References:Scriptures about "false traditions": Mark 7:7–9; Matthew 15:3; Alma 60:32; Doctrine & Covenants 93:39Doctrine & Covenants 19:16John 3:16–17Alma 34:32–35 (don't procrastinate repentance)Luke 6:27–38 (the Sermon on the Mount)Romans 12:17–19Matthew 6:1John 17:3Mosiah 2:38Doctrine & Covenants 11:9Romans 2:4

I almost didn't record an episode this week...Moving to Florida has been challenging to say the least. My heart is heavy, mourning the life we left behind in California. My motivation and mood have been uncomfortably low.In other words, I've been stuck in a rut.But life has blessed me with two other "ruts" over the past eight months, so I'm starting to become a pro at navigating them. And despite the sadness I feel, I also feel very excited to share with you my two favorite tools for getting through and out of a rut.First, I'm talking about how considering the perspectives of others helps me stay graceful and kind, even when I feel tempted to only care about myself.And then I'm sharing how the act of CREATION helps us get back to who we truly are—divine creators, children of the great Creator Himself.Resources Mentioned:David Ghiyam podcastHarry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone by J.K. RowlingHarry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by J.K. RowlingScripture References:Alma 37:6Doctrine & Covenants 37:9

Mosiah 18:9 describes three commitments we make when we are baptized. And this verse is also the perfect formula for helping anyone—our kids, friends, spouses, or selves—through "big emotions."In this episode, I'm walking through each step of this formula and why the order of these steps is so helpful for working through anger, fear, and sadness.Long story short, we can't effectively witness of God or offer comfort/advice if we don't first mourn with those that mourn. Resources MentionedNonviolent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall B. RosenbergNo Bad Kids by Janet LansburyScripture References2 Timothy 1:7Mosiah 18:9

Y'all are in for a treat this week. And yes, I am taking the liberty of saying "y'all" because my family just moved to the South and I'm not going to live below my privileges.For my very last episode filmed in California, I wanted to interview a dear friend and role model, Catina Haverlock. I have gotten to know Catina while serving the youth in our church together and am constantly in awe of her wisdom, accomplishments, and heart.Catina's parenting journey looks a little different from most. Her oldest son, Adam, who happens to be the exact same age as me, has experienced profound autism since around the time that he turned one year old. By witnessing Adam's unique strengths and helping bear the load of his challenges, Catina has been blessed with a magnified view of human development. She's learned what really works to help children with autism thrive. And at the end of the day, these principles apply to all parent-child relationships.In this episode, we explore the differences between two popular autism interventions, and Catina explains why she has chosen to lean on one over the other. The cool thing is that the approach she takes—nicknamed RDI or Relationship Development Intervention—puts into action SO many eternal principles that we might sometimes forget apply to parenting.Join us as Catina debunks autism myths, shares spiritual insights, and teaches concepts and practices that will bless any parent and child.Scripture References:Hebrews 11:1Alma 32:21Matthew 6:33Resources Mentioned:Adam Takes On Autism (Adam & Catina's Instagram)The Beyond Series (Catina's fiction novels)FEAT of Southern NevadaTERI Inc.The Christ Who Heals by Fiona & Terryl GivensThe God Who Weeps by Terryl & Fiona Givens

Trust God. It's one of the most common refrains in scripture. We hear it all the time. But are we taking this commandment seriously?For some reason, I find it easier to trust God when there is a big change in my life. Moving across the country? God’s got a plan. Loved one passes away? They’re needed more on the other side. Lost my job? God’s got something better in store.But crayon on the walls? Dinner burnt? Folded laundry knocked over? Husband home late? Toddler skipped her nap?Suddenly the sky is falling.I've recently discovered the power of intentionally trusting God with the small inconveniences we might assume don't matter to Him. Because actually, it is ALL part of His plan. In this episode, I'm introducing three tools that I use to keep my mind on Christ in these challenging moments, and how doing so affords me "perfect peace."Scripture References:Isaiah 26:3–4Matthew 4:18–22Daniel 3:17–18Walk Beside Me on Instagram @brooklynmbird

I am thrilled to welcome Walk Beside Me's inaugural guest: my dear friend McKenzie Rucker.McKenzie Rucker is many things: she is a graphic designer, web developer, wife, mother to 3 children, and passionate Jesus follower. I wanted her to join me on the podcast because she is one of those moms who radiates intentionality and joy with her children.When I asked McKenzie what she wanted to talk about, she brought up the topic of nonverbal communication—its power in parenting and God's pattern of using it Himself. This episode builds PERFECTLY on last week's episode about giving godly instructions. God uses nonverbal cues to communicate with us all the time, and McKenzie does an excellent job of expounding on how we can do so as well in our parenting.We talk about 6 principles of nonverbal communication in this episode:Observe and beholdCuriosity over controlModel behavior by quietly teachingSlow down & have patienceGive your presenceCalm confidence & inner peaceAnd if you want to put her beautiful power phrases on your wall as helpful reminders, here's the list:Notice before you navigateWonder before you worrySeek connection before correctionTeach with your hands and your heart, not just your voiceSlow is safePatience is powerPresence is more powerful than perfectionYour nearness is nurturingCalm is contagiousConfidence doesn't have to be loudYour peace is their peaceEveryday a Holiday websiteEveryday a Holiday InstagramFollow Brooklyn on Instagram for more Christ-centered parenting goodness

Giving instructions can be stressful for some parents—especially those of us who are trying to be respectful and conscious in how we communicate with our kids. How can we clearly communicate what we want without being overly controlling or domineering? And how do we respond when our children don't immediately obey?The good news is, God gives us an excellent example of how to give instructions clearly, directly, AND gently. He shows us that is possible to be straightforward and kind. He's the perfect example of teaching clearly AND respecting our agency.So I'm laying out five principles that I see in the scripture that demonstrate how God instructs His children, and that I think we can apply in our own parenting:Use positive languageStraightforward, not beggingDelivery is tailored to the child's needs and timingNever hypocriticalNot emotionally attached to immediate resultsResources:No Bad Kids by Janet LansburyHunt, Gather, Parent by Michaeleen DoucleffScripture References:Exodus 20:3–20Matthew 5Matthew 6

How can you tell if you are successful as a parent? We might be tempted to measure our success by any of the following:What other people say about our parentingHow quickly our children obey or complyOur kids' gradesOur kids' extracurricular achievementsHow happy our kids areHow cute our kids areHow quickly our children pass developmental milestonesWhether our children have everything they want materiallyThe problem is, none of these metrics are completely within your control.God is the most successful parent—we know this because He is perfect. He is all knowing and therefore His parenting style is the BEST model for our own parenting. Yet if we measured His success as a parent by any of the standards above, He might not look successful.So how CAN we measure parenting success?In this episode, I'm recommending that you measure your success as a parent by your relationship with your child. And by "relationship," I mean how you relate to your child. How you think and feel about them. How you treat them.The magic of this metric is that it is dependent on only one person: YOU. You can have a good relationship with your child even if your child doesn't have a good relationship with you. Such is the case for God, who relates to all of His children in the most beautiful, loving way, no matter how they relate to Him.Scripture references:Luke 15:11–32 (The Prodigal Son)Doctrine & Covenants 4:5Alma 32:21Romans 8:281 Corinthians 13:4–8

Where is the line between "spoiling" your child and simply being kind to them? Is there some kind of magical limit on the number of times we can give our children what they want before they become "spoiled"?In this episode, I'm challenging traditional fears surrounding spoiling with five scripture-inspired principles:Instead of worrying about "spoiling" your child, focus more on strengthening (and not spoiling) the relationship.God invites us to ask for things. We can likewise welcome our children's requests.God says yes pretty much all the time. There is always some way for us to say yes.God never gives from a place of fear. Neither should we.God never gives in order to control. Neither should we.Scripture References:Matthew 7:7James 1:5Isaiah 58:9Doctrine & Covenants 46:7Alma 34:18–27Follow along on Instagram:instagram.com/brooklynmbird

This one is for the ladies.Have you ever wondered whether Jesus really, really understands you? Especially when you're in the midst of periods, PMSing, pregnancy, miscarriage, infertility, postpartum, breastfeeding, singleness, or any other struggle that is uniquely female?We know He felt every pain, sickness, and struggle when He performed the Atonement. But could He really get it if He never actually lived an earth life as a woman?Today I'm opening up about a time when I struggled with this question. And I'm sharing the stories of Jesus that the Spirit brought to my mind, confirming that YES. He does get it.I don't know exactly how, but I know that He does. And I think the biggest evidence of this is how quick He was to minister to women after He performed the Atonement. He knew how much they would be blessed by the reassurance of resurrection—of freedom from earthly, physical pain.Follow me on Instagram:https://instagram.com/brooklynmbird

Not only do our words reveal our thoughts, they also reinforce them. Whenever I catch myself using the words/phrases "can't," "don't have time," "feel like," "need," "have to," and "let me," I realize I am living in a scarcity mindset and victim mentality. I am living a lie. I have a spirit of fear inside of me.But I want a spirit of power, love, and a sound mind. So I remember my agency. I shift my language. I take ownership for my choices and behavior. And then, always, a more empowered, loving, and peaceful spirit follows.I dare you to try out these verbal shifts. Catch yourself in the lies. Start living in truth.Scripture References:Matthew 6:7Exodus 20:16Proverbs 6:2Proverbs 10:19–20Proverbs 17:27

When you hear the words “preach repentance,” what do you think of? Does it mean standing in the middle of the town square, telling everyone to shape up and stop sinning?In this episode, I explore how preaching repentance can be as simple as helping your child clean up a mess. Forgiving your spouse immediately when they come home later than planned. Setting an example by learning from your own mistakes instead of hiding from them, beating yourself up for them, or blaming someone else for them.By practicing grace, forgiveness, and hope on a micro level in our daily interactions, we are accepting the Savior’s invitation to preach repentance. Even if we never climb on a soapbox.Scripture References:Doctrine & Covenants 58:42–43Doctrine & Covenants 19:16Matthew 18:21–22

Join me as I talk about the foundational topic of agency: where it comes from, why it's a gift, and what it means for our relationship with our children. Spoiler: influence is more powerful than control.Resources I mention in the episode:Terryl Givens Interview on the "Faith Matters" Podcast:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qlo3SAFY8JEThe Mellow Mama:instagram.com/themellowmama⁠youtube.com/themellowmama⁠themellowmama.orgTessa Romero:instagram.com/tessaromero_https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-momset-podcast/id1552137470Scripture references:2 Nephi 2

If you ever feel “triggered” by your child’s behavior, you’re in the right place.In this episode, I’m inviting you to view your children as guests from a foreign place that has different customs and culture. Our children are so new to this world—even if they’re multiple years old. It is our opportunity as their parents to help them accumulate to a healthy, loving, respectful culture.Thinking about your relationship with your child in this way will cause you to question the ways society has taught us to teach and discipline our children. From my experience, it will also help you overcome the natural man, maintaining a perspective of peace and patience even when your body wants to trigger a stress response.With tools like this analogy, we can more mindfully watch our thoughts and let them guide us toward the Christlike example we want to portray to our kids.Resources I mention in the episode:The Mellow Mama:instagram.com/themellowmamayoutube.com/themellowmamathemellowmama.orgA Theory of Objectivist Parenting by Roslyn Ross:https://a.co/d/4YxzzMgScripture references:Ephesians 2:19Mosiah 3:19D&C 67:12Mosiah 4:30

Meet Brooklyn and learn what "Walk Beside Me" is all about.Check out the Mellow Mama (mentioned in the podcast):IG - https://www.instagram.com/themellowmama/?hl=enhttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mellow-mama-podcast/id1627338093