Good Intentions w/ Lisa-Tien

Soooooo we’re back lol took a few detours and was down bad for a minute lmao but we here 🍾Instagrams@LisaTien_@GoodInentionsWLisaTien@HairByLisaLeftDyeTikTok @LisaTien_

I’ve been procrastinating haaaard on uploading. This episode was recorded a month or so ago haha safe to say, I’m sure I’m still in the same cycle of “locking in”. Instagrams@LisaTien_@GoodInentionsWLisaTien@HairByLisaLeftDyeTikTok @LisaTien_

Anytime I’m feeling less than extraordinary, I always try to figure it out. I feel it and try to process in real time what’s going on. When things go awry, you’re meant to sit with it. Let it be uncomfortable. Let it build you.  And apparently I’m still talking about the short lived, adhd hyperfixation, complete opposite of my ex, perceived to be sweet boy LOLInstagrams@LisaTien_@GoodInentionsWLisaTien@HairByLisaLeftDyeTikTok @LisaTien_

Ya know, summer was supposed to be live laugh love with the online dating but it ended up being another learning experience w multiple crash outs, specifically in this episode ft. my parents LOL. Instagrams@LisaTien_@GoodInentionsWLisaTien@HairByLisaLeftDyeTikTok @LisaTien_

I don’t remember all that I spoke about in this video, but I remember the gist of it. I believe I was in process of “mourning” a boyyyyy. Keyword. A cutie patootie, yes, but a BOY nonetheless. The crash out is very valid lmao let’s make sure the bounce back in the future is quicker than this LOL. OooopInstagrams@LisaTien_@GoodInentionsWLisaTien@HairByLisaLeftDyeTikTok @LisaTien_

Life RECAP. Went hard on the online dating. Is this love? Next. Is thiiiis love?? NEXT. Next. Next. Crash out. Hahaha We found attachment issues and learning lessons. Instagrams@LisaTien_@GoodInentionsWLisaTien@HairByLisaLeftDyeTikTok @LisaTien_

Lolllll I recorded this episode over a month ago and a half ago… needless to say, we been slacking… a LOT has changed since then but the little moments in this epi are still valid. Instagrams@LisaTien_@GoodInentionsWLisaTien@HairByLisaLeftDyeTikTok @LisaTien_

Me yapping about a lot of things but especially about Sadia Khan’s knowledge about relationships. Instagrams@LisaTien_@GoodInentionsWLisaTien@HairByLisaLeftDyeTikTok @LisaTien_

Story time. I am in my shooting my shot era, letting go of fear, and making it known that I am interested, but what do you do when they aren’t into you? Instagrams@LisaTien_@GoodInentionsWLisaTien@HairByLisaLeftDyeTikTok @LisaTien_

Oh, just me geeking out on the teachings of Vanessa Van Edwards, a behavioral scientist. She is a recovering awkward person and what she has studied can apply to things we can actually change to be more confident and charismatic. Instagrams@LisaTien_@GoodInentionsWLisaTien@HairByLisaLeftDyeTikTok @LisaTien_

A lot of us expect men to make the first move, but in today’s society, all of us have some sort of anxiety right? Fear of rejection or just not wanting to make someone feel uncomfortable. We can waste a lot of time if we’re just sitting back waiting. Manifesting is more than just wanting something. You’ve got to take action. So if there is something or someone you want, take action. Tune in to next week’s episode cus I straight up LIED to myself in this video hahahaa Instagrams@LisaTien_@GoodInentionsWLisaTien@HairByLisaLeftDyeTikTok @LisaTien_

To have confidence is like working out. It’s a mind muscle you have to consciously train. Confidence is the validation you feel for yourself when you acknowledge and embrace YOU. Let’s chat about how.Instagrams@LisaTien_@GoodInentionsWLisaTien@HairByLisaLeftDyeTikTok @LisaTien_

Sometimes we fall back into a lull and that’s totally fine. Progress is not linear. Allow yourself to take down time when needed. Instagrams@LisaTien_@GoodInentionsWLisaTien@HairByLisaLeftDyeTikTok @LisaTien_

We’re binging The Vampire Diaries and as I’m watching I’m also realizing a lot that I didn’t know before… my divorce 👀 toxic traitsInstagrams@LisaTien_@GoodInentionsWLisaTien@HairByLisaLeftDyeTikTok @LisaTien_

Ups and downs exist for a reason. The downs exists so that you get to experience the high, and when you’re in the high, acknowledge it, thank it, be grateful for it, so when you’re in a low, you have that to look back on Instagrams@LisaTien_@GoodInentionsWLisaTien@HairByLisaLeftDyeTikTok @LisaTien_

Sometimes things don’t go as planned… that doesn’t have to be a bad thing! We yapped for 24 mins and then got to the point Instagrams@LisaTien_@GoodInentionsWLisaTien@HairByLisaLeftDyeTikTok @LisaTien_

Everything is in motion, you just gotta let go of control and have faith that everything is working out for you. Instagrams@LisaTien_@GoodInentionsWLisaTien@HairByLisaLeftDyeTikTok @LisaTien_

We love a Trauma Bondddd. lol I met Nena in a Manifeststion Course I was taking at the time. She was a guest in our class speaking about Human Design. It was so interesting to learn more about ourselves and how we were designed to be. Awareness is always key to acceptance or for change. We share a little bit about our pasts and abusive relationship that we were in, what we learned, and how it led us to the path we are on now. @authenically.nenaInstagrams@LisaTien_@GoodInentionsWLisaTien@HairByLisaLeftDyeTikTok @LisaTien_

Along this healing era, there will be times when we are reminded of the past, or certain insecurities will that had been developed in the abusive relationship will pop up in which we have to take conscious effort to unlearn and rephrase our mindset. Instagrams@LisaTien_@GoodInentionsWLisaTien@HairByLisaLeftDyeTikTok @LisaTien_

I hate to say it, but sometimes we be the root issue of our own problems lollllll Let’s dive in and discuss who, what, why… What to do about it. 2+2 is pretty simple but sometimes the answer doesn’t seem that simple. Instagrams@LisaTien_@GoodInentionsWLisaTien@HairByLisaLeftDyeTikTok @LisaTien_

What is change? Did you know there was a cycle of change? Let’s break out habits! I still en route, myself, on this journey. Instagrams@LisaTien_@GoodInentionsWLisaTien@HairByLisaLeftDyeTikTok @LisaTien_

LOLLLL watch me spiral in action 😅 jk. Sometimes we falter back to old habits and it’s OK!! In this episode I talk about the struggle and what to do about it!! Instagrams@LisaTien_@GoodInentionsWLisaTien@HairByLisaLeftDyeTikTok @LisaTien_

What kind of life do you want? Replace fear with excitement for that life! Don’t limit yourself. Manifesttttt. You can do, have, or be whatever you want. Believe it and Take Action. Instagrams@LisaTien_@GoodInentionsWLisaTien@HairByLisaLeftDyeTikTok @LisaTien_

Let’s talk forgiveness! Is there someone or something from the past that still irks you when you think about it? Do you fixate on it? Does it upset you or make you feel angry or sad? A parent, a sibling, an ex? Let’s go into detail about what forgiveness really means and what it can do for you and the importance of it. Instagrams@LisaTien_@GoodInentionsWLisaTien@HairByLisaLeftDyeTikTok @LisaTien_

I share what I’ve learned in my past relationships from my actions and how I felt, reflecting on who I want to show up as now for myself and with my future partner. I try to educate myself everyday by listening to podcasts and watching YouTube videos about Self, inner child wounds, and relationships. I personally feel like this has helped me grow so much in such a short amount of time—healing from the toxic relationship I chose to stay in, healing from my past, and making that connection as to why I showed up the way I did and how to do it differently. This is all so important because a lot of times in an abusive relationship, the abuser will blame shift onto you. It will feel like it is all your fault, and that you’re the issue, and you’re the one that doesn’t try or understand, or that you’re the abuser. You need to be aware of yourself and the situation at hand to know the difference and keep your sanity. Instagrams@LisaTien_@GoodInentionsWLisaTien@HairByLisaLeftDyeTikTok @LisaTien_

Life update and I go on a tangent about why listening to the narcissist or other people may not be helpful and what you should do instead, as well as sides will be taken and you don’t have to prove yourself. Instagrams@LisaTien_@GoodInentionsWLisaTien@HairByLisaLeftDyeTikTok @LisaTien_

I recorded this episode a few weeks ago… looking back on this, it’s clear that I am in the Stage of Preparation which is the 3rd stage of change. It’s when you know you need to shift and change and are starting to take the action to do so. In order to grow and shift and to not revert back, you do, in fact, quite literally have to wake up and be conscious of yourself, your behaviors, and your thoughts. Instagrams@LisaTien_@GoodInentionsWLisaTien@HairByLisaLeftDyeTikTok @LisaTien_

When you love someone and think that they love and care about you, of course you trust them. Of course you empathize with them. Of COURSE you would never think they would deliberately lie or cheat or do what they do and of COURSE you wouldn’t imagine them doing terrible things to women in the past either…. But when it comes to narcissists and sociopaths? Yaaaa, you’re not the first one, pookie. More tea of what I found out AFTER I left and divorced. Instagrams@LisaTien_@GoodInentionsWLisaTien@HairByLisaLeftDyeTikTok @LisaTien_

Let’s talk ADHD! People say everyone has a little bit of it, and yes that very well can be true, especially with social media and doom scrolling for dopamine hits, but ADHD affects your brain more than you may be aware of, however, that does not mean that there is anything wrong WITH you! I personally feel ADHD is a super power and neurodivergents have a different spark to us 🤩.Not being aware of yourself can keep you in situations that aren’t the best for you or keep you making the same choices—so you’re “stuck” without even realizing it, but when you REALIZE it, you are now conscious and able to make a different choice. Instagrams@LisaTien_@GoodInentionsWLisaTien@HairByLisaLeftDyeTikTok @LisaTien_

And the story continues!! Having some space away to breathable and think helps provide a little bit of clarity, but as long as you’re continuing to be influenced by the narcissist, it will be more difficult to see them for who they actually are. The manipulation and mind games run deeeep and it will always be a cycle. It feels like treading water in the ocean and getting pulled under by the current or waves. The peace you feel in the relationship is never true peace, it’s only peaceful until the next wave. Instagrams@LisaTien_@GoodInentionsWLisaTien@HairByLisaLeftDyeTikTok @LisaTien_

On our healing journey with a growth mindset, yes, we be positive and thriving, but not every day is going to be euphoric. There are some days where you may find yourself spiraling, and that is totally okay! Just be aware of the emotions, feel it, decipher why that may be the case, be kind and compassionate to yourself, and move forward. Don’t live in the negative spiral. Alsoooo here’s the story of why I finally left my marriage. Instagrams@LisaTien_@GoodInentionsWLisaTien@HairByLisaLeftDyeTikTok @LisaTien_

You can find beauty any where. You just have to seek it, acknowledge it, and embrace it. There is always a silver lining—an opportunity to grow, and having a growth mindset is the key to a happy, healthy, fulfilling life. Instagrams@LisaTien_@GoodInentionsWLisaTien@HairByLisaLeftDyeTikTok @LisaTien_

Story timeee!! Several tangents were involved haha extra ADHD this episode, but the moral of the story is… sometimes it can be difficult to realize that you’re being abused in a relationship. Narcissists are expert manipulators. This episode, I share one of the first times things felt scary and explosive—the control, the anger, the intimidation, and the blame and normalizing of the behavior. Instagrams@LisaTien_@GoodInentionsWLisaTien@HairByLisaLeftDyeTikTok @LisaTien_

It is so important to take the time to process what happened and put in the work to heal before jumping into the dating scene or into another relationship!! In this episode, I talk about what could happen when you don’t. Instagrams@LisaTien_@GoodInentionsWLisaTien@HairByLisaLeftDyeTikTok @LisaTien_

So I went on several tangents here lolll the moral of the story is the reflection between how I feel NOW mentally and emotionally, the happiness, the strength—vs. how I felt back in that relationship and how that happened and examples of what some of the gaslighting and manipulation looked like Instagrams@LisaTien_@GoodInentionsWLisaTien@HairByLisaLeftDyeTikTok @LisaTien_

Yessss you can have self love without being conceited and arrogant. You can be IN LOVE with who you are and love every aspect of yourself and ACCEPT yourself and push yourself to be better, stand up for yourself, and set boundaries.Walk away from things and PEOPLE that don’t serve you. Instagrams@LisaTien_@GoodInentionsWLisaTien@HairByLisaLeftDyeTikTok @LisaTien_

It’s the little moments where you take the time to stop and smell the roses that are so important and crucial… to be able to get out of your head, admire the beauty that surrounds you, and feel appreciation for it is top TIER gratitude. A gratitude practice is something that helps elevate your soul, your spirit, your vibration so that you can become open to bigger and better things. Instagrams@LisaTien_@GoodInentionsWLisaTien@HairByLisaLeftDyeTikTok @LisaTien_

When you don’t value yourself, you can end up in relationships where you are not valued. You accept things that you shouldn’t and you tolerate things that you shouldn’t because you don’t believe that you deserve better. Life is about living and loving and beautiful relationships. Are you living or are you just surviving? Instagrams@LisaTien_@GoodInentionsWLisaTien@HairByLisaLeftDyeTikTok @LisaTien_

Hiiiiii! Welcome to Good Intentions! In this introduction episode, I brush the surface on where I was at in life, where I’m at now, and where I want to be—Inner childhood wounds, past relationships, narcissistic abuse, healing, growing, living, self love and self worth. Instagrams@LisaTien_@GoodInentionsWLisaTien@HairByLisaLeftDyeTikTok @LisaTien_