Grief, I Didn't Sign Up for This

Send us Fan MailWhat does it really look like to love someone through grief?In this deeply honest and compassionate episode, Shaleka Smith explores the complexities of supporting your spouse through loss. Whether your partner is grieving the death of a loved one, a life transition, or an unexpected heartbreak, this conversation offers practical guidance and emotional insight for navigating it together.Shaleka breaks down what grief can do to a person’s identity, communication, and capacity to connect, and how that can impact a marriage or relationship. She shares what to avoid, what truly helps, and how to remain present without losing yourself in the process.This episode is for the ones standing beside grief… trying to love well, show up consistently, and hold space when there are no easy answers.You’ll be reminded that:Support doesn’t require perfection, just presence.Grief doesn’t follow a timeline.And both partners deserve care in the process.If you or your spouse are walking through grief, this episode will meet you with understanding, grace, and practical tools to help you move forward together.And as always… you are not alone in this journey. Take it one day at a time.https://www.grapsate.com/book-inner-pageSupport the show

Send us Fan MailThis episode features a powerful conversation with Rob Shep, a dynamic leader known for his impact in creative strategy, community engagement, and building meaningful connections. Wherever Rob shows up, things move forward with purpose and excellence.As the Co-Owner and Founder of the I AM HIM Platform, Rob is creating intentional spaces for Black men to heal, grow, and connect through brotherhood and honest dialogue. More than a brand, it’s a movement focused on identity, elevation, and transformation.This episode is a reminder that growth doesn’t happen in isolation—and that when you show up fully, you make space for others to rise too.Support the show

Send us Fan MailThis gentle 7-minute meditation is designed to support you as you begin a new week—especially when grief feels heavy. Whether you’re carrying personal loss, witnessing the pain in your community, or feeling the collective weight of the world, this meditation offers a moment to pause, breathe, and ground yourself.Rather than rushing past grief, this practice honors it—creating space for both sorrow and strength to coexist. You’ll be guided to reconnect with your body, find steadiness beneath your feet, and take the next step forward with compassion and grace.This meditation is not about fixing or forcing positivity. It’s about showing up as you are and moving into the week gently, intentionally, and supported—one breath at a time.Perfect for Monday mornings, moments of overwhelm, or anytime you need a reminder that even in grief, you are allowed to begin again.Support the show

Send us Fan MailWhat happens when the loss you’re carrying isn’t the death of a person—but the quiet disappearance of who you used to be?In this deeply reflective episode, I’m Grieving Me, we explore a form of grief that often goes unnamed: the grief of identity change. This conversation is for anyone mourning the version of themselves that existed before trauma, transition, responsibility, burnout, or becoming “strong.”Through honest reflection, compassion, and gentle reframing, this episode creates space to acknowledge the versions of ourselves we’ve outgrown, lost, or had to leave behind. You’ll be reminded that growth can still hurt, that missing who you were doesn’t mean you regret who you are, and that becoming requires just as much tenderness as healing.If you’ve ever thought, “I don’t recognize myself anymore,” this episode is for you.Support the show

Send us Fan MailSo many of us are experts at caring for everyone else—meeting physical, emotional, and financial needs—while quietly neglecting our own. Over time, this pattern leaves us depleted, disconnected, and unfamiliar with ourselves.In this episode of Grief, I Didn’t Sign Up for This, we talk honestly about what it means to make yourself a priority—not out of selfishness, but out of necessity. Grief, loss, and life changes introduce a new version of us, and healing requires that we slow down long enough to get to know who we’re becoming.This conversation explores the importance of being intentional with your health, finances, mental well-being, and grief care. It’s an invitation to stop pouring from an empty cup and begin protecting yourself with the same love, boundaries, and attention you give to those you care for most.If you’ve been feeling exhausted, stretched thin, or disconnected from yourself, this episode offers permission to pause, reflect, and choose you—one intentional decision at a time.Support the show

Send us Fan MailThe start of a new year can bring pressure to move on, start fresh, or leave the past behind—but grief doesn’t follow the calendar.In this meditation episode of Grief, I Didn’t Sign Up for This, we create space to gently acknowledge what the previous year held and to step into the new year with honesty, compassion, and intention. This guided meditation invites you to release unrealistic expectations, honor what you’ve carried, and move forward at a pace that feels true to you.Whether you’re grieving a loved one, a relationship, a season of life, or a version of yourself, this episode offers a moment to pause, breathe, and remember that healing does not require perfection—only presence.Support the show

Send us Fan MailChristmas can be beautiful—and heavy.For many, this season carries joy and grief side by side.This Christmas meditation is a quiet, sacred pause for anyone navigating loss, loneliness, or complicated emotions during the holidays. Whether you’re missing someone you love, feeling disconnected from the cheer around you, or simply needing a moment to breathe, this meditation offers space without pressure.Through gentle breathing, reflection on the true story of Christmas, and permission to feel what you feel, this meditation reminds you that you don’t have to perform joy to belong in this season. Grief is not a failure—and peace can exist alongside pain.Light a candle, find a comfortable place, and allow yourself to be present.You are held, even here.Support the show

Send us Fan MailChristmas is supposed to be joyful—but what happens when the lights feel too bright, the rooms feel too quiet, and the ache of absence is louder than the music? In this episode, What Do the Lonely Do at Christmas?, we sit with the reality many people don’t talk about: the loneliness that often shows up during the holidays. Whether you’re grieving a loved one, navigating separation, feeling disconnected from family, or simply trying to survive a season that doesn’t feel merry, this conversation creates space for you. Through reflection, encouragement, and gentle truth, we explore how to honor your feelings, release the pressure to perform happiness, and find moments of comfort and meaning—even when loneliness lingers. You’re not broken, you’re not ungrateful, and you’re definitely not aloneSupport the show

Send us Fan MailAs the year comes to a close, the pressure to “finish strong” can feel overwhelming—especially if this year included loss, grief, or unexpected challenges. In this episode of Grief, I Didn’t Sign Up for This, Shaleka Smith reframes what it truly means to end the year strong.This conversation invites you to slow down, reflect honestly, and release what no longer serves you. Together, we explore how strength doesn’t always look like productivity or achievement, but often shows up as resilience, self-compassion, and alignment with God’s grace. Through reflection, scripture, and gentle encouragement, this episode creates space to honor your journey, acknowledge your growth, and step into the new year without carrying unnecessary weight.Whether you’re grieving, healing, or simply exhausted from the year, this episode is a reminder that you don’t have to rush into what’s next—God meets you right where you are.Take a deep breath, press play, and let this be your permission to close the year with peace.Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn this special bonus episode of Grief, I Didn’t Sign Up for This, Shaleka offers a gentle, grounding, 7-minute guided meditation created for anyone carrying the quiet weight of grief. Whether you’re navigating a fresh loss, an old wound that still aches, or the heaviness that shows up during the holidays and hard seasons, this meditation invites you into stillness, breath, and emotional safety.Through calming imagery, compassionate reflection, and faith-centered grounding, this short practice helps listeners:slow down their thoughtsrelease pent-up tensionsit honestly with their emotionsfeel God’s nearness in the midst of painreconnect with their breath and their bodyexperience a few moments of peace right where they areThis episode is your soft place to land — a moment to pause, exhale, and care for your heart. Perfect for mornings when you wake up heavy, nights when grief won’t let you rest, or anytime you need a sacred breather in the middle of a difficult day.Press play, breathe deeply, and let this meditation meet you with gentleness.Support the show

Send us Fan MailThe holidays can intensify grief in ways we don’t always expect. In this episode, “When Grief Shows Up for the Holidays,” host Shaleka Smith explores why sorrow feels heavier this season and how cultural traditions, faith practices, and intentional rituals can offer comfort and connection.We discuss the emotional complexity of holiday grief, the triggers that surface, and practical ways to honor loved ones while caring for ourselves. Whether you’re navigating memories, loneliness, or the pressure to “be merry,” this episode offers compassion and gentle guidance for the journey.Perfect for anyone grieving a loved one during the holidays — or supporting someone who is.Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn this episode of Grief, I Didn’t Sign Up for This, host Shaleka Smith takes an honest, compassionate look at one of the most common—and confusing—questions after loss: Is this depression, or just grief?Grief and depression often look and feel alike. Both can bring tears, exhaustion, and a deep sense of emptiness. But while grief is a natural response to loss, depression can linger, intensify, and quietly pull us into isolation and hopelessness.Shaleka breaks down the emotional, physical, and spiritual differences between the two, shares insight on where they overlap, and offers practical tools for recognizing when grief may have crossed into depression. Listeners will also learn:How to tell if your sadness is part of healthy mourning or something deeperWhat symptoms signal the need for professional helpWhy moments of joy in grief are not signs of “getting over it” but signs of healingFaith-based and therapeutic ways to nurture your mental and emotional healthWhether you’re navigating your own pain or walking alongside someone who is, this episode will help you find language, compassion, and clarity for the journey.Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn this special mother–daughter episode, host Shaleka Smith sits down with her 19-year-old daughter for an honest, funny, and heartfelt conversation about funeral etiquette across generations.From traditional black attire and quiet reverence to today’s bright colors, hashtags, and “celebrations of life,” they explore how customs have evolved — and what those changes say about the way we honor loss. Together, they unpack everything from church etiquette and sermons to social media, grief expression, and the growing gap between sacred traditions and modern trends.It’s real talk about respect, remembrance, and the cultural shifts shaping how we say goodbye. One generation values solemnity, the other celebrates individuality — but both agree that love is at the center of it all.🎧 Tune in for laughter, reflection, and a deeper understanding of how every generation grieves differently… but loves the same.Support the show

Send us Fan MailHave you ever thought you were finally past your grief—only for it to hit you out of nowhere years later? In this deeply personal episode, host Shaleka Smith explores the surprising ways grief can resurface during milestones, quiet moments, or unexpected memories.Through heartfelt storytelling, faith-filled reflection, and practical guidance, Shaleka reminds listeners that resurfacing grief isn’t failure—it’s love revisiting. You’ll hear about the day a simple memory pulled her back into tears, why grief cycles through our lives like seasons, and how to honor the emotions that come back.Whether your wave of grief was triggered by a birthday, a song, or a scent, this episode will help you recognize that healing isn’t a straight line—it’s a sacred return to the love you carry.You’re not broken because your heart remembers. You’re human—and still healing.Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn this episode of Grief, I Didn’t Sign Up for This, host Shaleka Smith explores how children experience grief and how adults can guide them through it with compassion and honesty. Grief doesn’t just affect adults—children process loss in their own unique ways, and without guidance, they may carry confusion or fear into the future.Shaleka breaks down what grief looks like at different developmental stages, why it’s important to talk openly with children about death, and best practices for helping them navigate loss. From using age-appropriate language and encouraging questions to creating memory rituals and maintaining routines, this episode offers practical tools for parents, caregivers, and educators.This episode also features a highlighted chapter about Tina Dillard, who lost a cousin at a young age. Tina’s story reflects how early experiences with loss can shape a child’s understanding of death and grief.Listeners will also learn what to avoid when supporting grieving children, when to seek additional help, and resources such as books and organizations that specialize in childhood bereavement.This heartfelt and practical conversation is a guide for anyone who wants to help little hearts heal while building resilience, honesty, and hope in the face of loss.Support the show

Send us Fan MailNot every connection in grief is healthy.In this powerful episode, Shaleka Smith unpacks the difference between trauma bonding and building a grief community. Though both can begin with shared pain, only one leads to lasting healing.Through storytelling, scripture, reflection prompts, and real-life examples, you’ll discover:What trauma bonding looks like (and why it keeps you stuck)How a grief community supports growth, not just survival5 signs you may be in a trauma bondEncouragement to build relationships that nurture your healingA journaling moment to check in with your heartIf you've ever asked, “Why do I feel worse after talking to someone who gets it?”—this episode is for you.Let’s trade trauma ties for healing spaces. You didn’t sign up for grief, but you don’t have to grieve alone.Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn this powerful and honest episode of Grief, I Didn’t Sign Up for This, host Shaleka Smith breaks down the well-meaning but often hurtful things people say to those who are grieving—and what you should say instead. From “Everything happens for a reason” to “Be strong,” we explore why these phrases can unintentionally deepen someone’s pain and how we can offer true comfort instead.With real-life stories, scripture, and a touch of humor, Shaleka guides listeners through the do’s and don’ts of grief support. Whether you're walking with someone through loss or healing from your own, this episode is a must-listen.Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn this episode of Grief, I Didn’t Sign Up for This, we dive into one of the most complex emotions that grief brings—guilt. Inspired by Milton Butler’s story from Grief, I Didn’t Sign Up for This, we explore the overwhelming feeling of wishing we had done things differently and how those thoughts can consume us. Whether it’s the regret of missed moments, unspoken words, or the haunting question of "what if," guilt can make the grieving process even more difficult.  Join me as we unpack why we carry this burden, how it affects our healing, and, most importantly, how we can learn to release it. Through reflection, self-compassion, and practical steps, this episode offers guidance for anyone struggling with regret after losing a loved one. You did your best with what you knew then—and it’s time to start forgiving yourself.Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn this powerful episode of Grief, I Didn’t Sign Up for This, host Shaleka Smith sits down with Alea Allen, an educator who previously taught in Chicago and who has faced the unimaginable—losing multiple students to gun violence. Inspired by the heartfelt chapter Empty Seat by Alea Allen, this conversation sheds light on the grief teachers carry while continuing to show up for their students daily.  Shaleka and Alea discuss the emotional toll of seeing a student’s name on the roster after they’re gone, the pressure to be strong in the face of tragedy, and the lack of support for educators grieving these losses. With raw honesty, moments of humor, and faith-filled encouragement, this episode reminds us that even in grief, God is near.  Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn this powerful and heartfelt episode of Grief, I Didn't Sign Up for This, Shaleka Smith invites listeners to explore the idea of writing their own obituary—both literally and metaphorically. Inspired by the New York Times article “Write Your Own Obit,” Shaleka discusses why taking ownership of your life story is a gift to your loved ones and a guide for living with purpose.She breaks down what key elements to include in an obituary, shares how obituary writing can be a tool for healing and reflection, and challenges listeners to ask the deeper question: Am I living a life worth writing about?With honesty, humor, and scriptural wisdom, this episode reminds us that our lives are letters to the world—and it’s never too early to decide what kind of story we’re telling.Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn this episode of Grief, I Didn't Sign Up for This, we discuss the emotional masks we wear while grieving. So many of us say "I'm fine" when we're anything but. We feel the pressure to be strong, keep busy, and hold it all together—often at the cost of our healing. But what happens when we remove the mask and allow ourselves to grieve honestly?  Join me as we explore the different types of grief masks, why we wear them, and the toll they take on our emotional, spiritual, and physical well-being. We'll also examine what scripture says about being honest with our pain and how God meets us in our brokenness.  If you've been pretending to be okay to make others comfortable, this episode is for you. It's time to remove the mask and step into healing.  Listen now and remember—it's okay not to be OK.Support the show

Send us Fan MailWhat happens when the person who caused you deep pain dies, and the world expects you to grieve them? In this powerful episode, host Shaleka Smith sits down with a sexual assault survivor and advocacy worker, Saunté Harden-Tate, to explore the complicated emotions that surface when an abuser passes away.From unexpected relief to lingering guilt, awkward condolences to silent rage, this conversation gets real about the grief no one talks about—but so many survivors carry.With honesty, empathy, and a few much-needed laughs (yes, we make room for cheesecake and shady side-eyes), this episode reminds listeners that healing doesn’t follow a script—and you don’t owe anyone a “pretty” version of your pain.Whether you’re a survivor, an advocate, or someone trying to understand, this episode holds space for grief's messy, honest, and deeply human side.If you are in the Chicagoland area, we invite you to attend Brave Space: An Assembly for Sexual Assault Awareness on April 26, 2025, from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m.  https://www.eventbrite.com/e/brave-space-tickets-1219913015669?aff=oddtdtcreatorSupport the show

Send us Fan MailIn this episode of Grief, I Didn't Sign Up for This, we reflect on the journey to Resurrection Sunday and the deep emotions that come with life's challenges. Just as Jesus experienced grief and anguish before His Resurrection, we, too, go through painful processes before breakthrough moments. Even when we know victory is ahead, the weight of the journey can still be overwhelming.  Let's explore the parallels between Jesus' suffering and our own struggles, reminding us that while grief and hardship may feel like our Good Friday, our Sunday—our Resurrection—is coming. Tune in for an uplifting message of hope, perseverance, and faith during life's most challenging seasons.   Don't forget to share this episode with someone who needs encouragement this Easter season!Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn this episode of Grief, I Didn't Sign Up for This, we dive into one of the most unexpected and painful experiences—losing a friend who is in your age range. Inspired by DeAnna Gibson's heartfelt story in Grief, I Didn't Sign Up for This, we explore the shock, sadness, and reality check that comes with losing a peer far too soon.How do we process the finality of their absence? How do we cope with the way their passing forces us to confront our mortality? And how can we honor their memory while continuing to live our lives fully?Join me as we navigate these tough questions, share personal reflections, and discuss how grief, while painful, can also serve as a reminder to cherish every moment. This episode is for you if you've ever lost a friend—or fear the day you might.Tune in, reflect, and let's heal together. Don't forget to share this episode with someone who may need it.IF DeAnna's story resonated with you, or if you want to read more powerful stories about navigating grief, visit www.grapsate.com to purchase grief, I Didn't Sign Up for This. It's a resource for those seeking comfort, connection, and healing.Support the show

Send us Fan MailOn this episode of Grief, I Didn't Sign Up for This, we explore the importance of slowing down and allowing ourselves the time and space to process grief. In a world that often pressures us to "move on" quickly, we discuss why true healing requires patience, self-compassion, and intentional reflection. I'll share personal experiences, practical strategies for embracing stillness, and the ways grief manifests when we try to rush through it. Whether you're in the early stages of loss or revisiting old wounds, this episode reminds you that grief has no deadline—and neither do you.Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn this episode of Grief, I Didn’t Sign Up for This, we explore the delicate balance between sorrow and joy. Can you experience moments of happiness while still carrying deep grief? Is it possible to honor your loss while allowing yourself to embrace joy without guilt?  Join me as I dive into this emotional and thought-provoking topic, sharing personal reflections, insights from grief experts, and stories of resilience. We’ll discuss how joy doesn’t erase grief but can exist alongside it, offering light even in the darkest moments.  If you've ever struggled with allowing yourself to smile, laugh, or feel hope after loss, this episode is for you. Let’s unpack the beauty of dual emotions and how they shape our healing journey.Support the show

Send us Fan MailTurning 40 is a significant milestone filled with celebration, reflection, and maybe a bit of panic! In this episode of Grief, I Didn't Sign Up for This Podcast, I’m sharing my thoughts on reaching this new decade and the grief that comes with aging and not having loved ones around to celebrate with you.  We’ll talk. We'll embrace life, trust God's plan, and make our way to being genuinely content for our celebration! Whether you are having a milestone birthday or simply trying to make the most of each day while grieving, this conversation is for you. Let’s celebrate life, cherish the now, and trust God’s plan for the future.Support the show

Send us Fan MailGrief is a universal experience, yet it is often misunderstood. In this episode of Grief, I Didn't Sign Up for This, we embark on a heartfelt journey to explore the many facets of grief—its complexities, unexpected forms, and the ways we can navigate it with faith, compassion, and resilience. Hosted by Shaleka Smith, this podcast provides a safe space for reflection, healing, and encouragement for anyone who has faced loss in any form.Support the show