Real Vibes Only

With all of the destruction happening the world today, it may create feelings of helplessness and overwhelm in you. And, rightfully so. However, there is an opportunity for connection and care when we zoom in at the community level. Mutual aid has been around forever, but the need for it is growing daily. Join Karen and Lynn as they define what mutual aid and what it isn't. They share ways to get involved with current community building and mutual aid efforts.

Have you seen all of the posts on social media asking us to finish the year "strong?" It's almost as if they have lived on another planet for 2025?! This year has been extremely challenging and rather than force ourselves to "push through it," what if we took another approach? Join Karen and Lyn as they offer up another idea. One that honors where we are and space to provide what we really need.

What would it look like to be fully aware of your emotions, your internal response to them, as well as the response of others around you? This is what it means to put emotions into practice and integrate this vital piece of our human experience into our every day lives. It is something that Real Vibes Only has been sharing about for years, and yet it is an uncomfortable reality when our social conditioning and resulting "inner voice" tell us not to. Join Lynn and Karen as they share how they find ways to put emotions into practice each day.

Often with health initiatives, a new phrase or framework is discovered as a "hot button" and early adapters integrate it into their organization. As the initiative spreads and more people jump on the bandwagon, the initiative becomes diluted, coopted and it can lose its efficacy in the process. Join Karen and Lynn as they debunk social connection as a "hot button" issue and share what they have learned through their work on connection as prevention over the past 6 years.

All human beings experience grief and it is natural to experience it with any change or loss, large or small. Grief is as unique as our own fingerprint and we decide how we define it and what support is most helpful. Join Tina and Lynn as they share their own experiences with grief and the discomfort of allowing it to unfold naturally.

Our world is rapidly changing and can often feel like beinginside of a snow globe, where everything is shaken up every time things begin to settle. Feeling overwhelmed? Join Lynn and Special Guest Lacey as they share their personal journeys and practical tips for balancing community care withinner growth during this time of change. (Note: Thank you Lacey for being real with us, as our dear friend Karen rests and recovers from surgery over the next few weeks.)

The events happening in our country and around the world are overwhelming and infuriating. It can make anyone feel helpless to create change. So what power do we have to create change? It comes to us in the form of community care which is available to us each and every day. Whether you are the one giving or receiving, it is done in a mutual way ... neighbor helping neighbor. No score cards. No pre-requisites. No conditions. It is out of the goodness of humanity that we help each other and receive help when we need it. Join Karen and Lynn as they talk through the ripple affect of small acts of caring.

Life is hard and people are struggling. This is a fact and it is a normal human response to the events happening around us ... in our communities, our country and the world. As the attempts by systems to dehumanize people get louder and more frequent in an age of endless information, it can be a heavy lift to hold empathy for the ever increasing harm and pain happening around us. Join Karen and Lynn as they share why empathy is our superpower against destructive systems and how it is the foundation for creating the world we hope for.

Systems of oppression thrive in environments that keep us separate, feeling different and "othering" people. The reality? We are all connected. Resisting the divisive nature of our world requires us to reconnect with the humans around us and hear who they really are. Each person has a story and connecting with curiosity and compassion helps us to understand how they came to understand the world. Join Karen and Lynn as they talk through the isolation, lack of belonging and differentness many are feeling and embracing connection as the antidote. Disclaimer: This does not mean that we tolerate abuse, oppression or violence. Ever.

In our attempts to find support, often we are told that "we are keeping you safe" when forced treatment or psychiatric interventions are put into place. But who are the systems really keeping safe? Join Karen and Lynn as they unpack the harm being done by hierarchal systems that look to protect the organization rather than honestly hear what support the person is asking for.

Connection is prevention AND it is also transformation. With each workshop, training and Community Living Room we participate in, we witness the transformation that happens when people feel seen, heard and valued just as they are through the connection and space we provide. Join Lynn and Karen as they share the true power of connection and how it has deeply touched their lives.

As human beings, we are constantly learning and evolving.This is also true of our values. When was the last time you looked deeply into your values and how they play out in your life? As our world changes, it is becoming increasingly important to know what you value and why. Join Karen and Lynn as they talk through the values alignment they both experienced at the recent Wisconsin Peer Recovery Conference and the importance of creating time for your own values self-reflection.

There are a number of memes on the internet stating, "If you aren't angry, you aren't paying attention." Our country is changing at unheard of speeds (intentionally, mind you) and you may be feeling off balance, overwhelmed or defeated ... in addition to angry! Your responses to the state of the world are NORMAL. Join Karen and Lynn as they talk through their own normal responses and invite you to join us and know you are not alone.

Nature is the perfect place to look when you are feeling paralyzed or overwhelmed. It is constantly moving, growing and evolving. The reality is we are moving, growing and evolving too, but it can feel like we aren't when life is hard or heavy. Join Karen and Lynn as they share how nature helps them navigate the hard and confusing times facing us individually and collectively.

Our world seems to be moving at an accelerated pace, and the constant stream of information isn't helpful. When we are feeling overwhelmed, it can be easy to react (rather than respond). Join Lynn, Karen and Nick Schiller (Karen's oldest) as they talk through the nature of reacting, how emotions play into our reactions, and giving ourselves the opportunity to slow down, pause and feel our way through to the other side.

Our world is overwhelming. Our lives can be overwhelming. Finding the time, space and energy to tackle even one piece of it can be overwhelming. Join Karen and Lynn as they lean on the wisdom of Adrienne Maree Brown and her philosophy that "small is all." Taking small steps or making small changes does have impact and often much bigger impact than we even realize.

We are all carrying a lot in our day-to-day lives. From the challenges we face personally, to the challenges of our family and friends ... add in the struggles of our communities, our state, our nation and the world ... is it any wonder we are feeling exhausted and overwhelmed? Join Karen and Lynn as they share their layers and reassure their listeners that they are not alone.

Did you know that an emotion only lasts 90 seconds? The first time we heard that we were not only surprised, but firmly believed that emotions could last for days. So why does it feel like the emotion is still present? Join Karen and Lynn as they talk through the biology of emotion and the connection between thought and emotion that keeps it hanging on.

On Valentine's Day, it feels fitting to talk about love. But let's expand the definition to include revolutionary love. Love that defies violence and control and oppression. Love that is not submissive but kryptonite to hate. Love that includes love towards self and others. Join Karen and Lynn as they talk through the concept of revolutionary love (a concept created by Valerie Kaur) and how it is the antidote to the world we are all navigating.

As children, many of us learned that it was unsafe to talk to strangers. But was this fear-based conditioning reality? Statistically speaking, most children experience harm at the hands of people they know. So how do we break this conditioning? We begin by acknowledging we are more alike than we are different and strangers are just friends we haven't met yet. Join Lynn and Karen as they share how talking to strangers has enriched their lives and helped to create connections in their community.

It can be incredibly hard to find moments of joy when the world can seem so heavy and dark. It can also feel "wrong" to be joyful. But here's the deal. It is never all dark or all light. Even funerals will have moments of laughter. Sparks of joy can happen when we allow ourselves to be present to what is happening around us. Join Karen and Lynn as they share their own recent sparks of joy and how we can allow for joy in our lives.

This has been a full, hard week. In fact it feels like the 76th week of January with all that has transpired this week. Couple the national news, with anything hard happening in community, and then add in any hard personal pieces and the layers are overwhelming. We feel you friends and you are not alone. Join Karen and Lynn as they talk through how long their week has been and how connection is a way to lighten our loads.

Being a human can be hard. Especially when we realize that we have made a bad choice ... or said something hurtful ... or missed an opportunity. As humans, we all have moments of regret or wishing we could ask for a "do over." Embracing our full humanness means recognizing that we too are imperfect. Join Lynn & Karen as they talk through accepting our humanness and recognizing that we can make repair ... both to others and ourselves.

Did you know there was such a thing as "Quitter's Day?" It was created in direct response to the many New Year's Resolutions people set and the amount of time that passes before people fall back into old patterns. As they used to say on the TV sitcom Full House, "How rude!" If you feel the shame and guilt that comes with the judgment and ridicule of New Year's Resolution, hold tight. Karen and Lynn reframe our journey of change with self-compassion, practice and much more "being" than "doing."

In our day to day life, we are often met with responses to "see the bright side" or "be more optimistic" or "you need to get over it" when navigating challenging times in life. This toxic positive messaging seems to get amplified even more during the holidays when happiness or merriment is the only acceptable way to be. Enter Real Vibes Only. Our lives are complex and are composed of layers of impact. We hold emotion for our individual lives, as well as our families and friends, our communities, our country, our world. To say that it all needs to be positive is to avoid the realness of being human. Join Karen and Lynn as they unwrap the gifts of the season and honor all of the emotions and experiences we carry into the holidays.

As human beings, we hold a lot of emotions each and every day as we navigate our personal and collective lives. These days, changes in our world and the constant flow of information can be overwhelming, scattered and often attaches a sense of urgency. Join Karen and Lynn as they talk through their own experiences of being "all over the place" and finding ways to ground and center themselves when they can.

It can be challenging to offer support to someone who is struggling or in deep pain. Many times our first response is to offer advice to help shift the person away from their pain. We do this, not necessarily for the other person, but as a way to alleviate our discomfort from the pain they are expressing. But offering advice, rather than being present with the person, oftentimes misses the mark for both people. Join Karen and Lynn as they talk through the pitfalls of offering advice and how both people can enhance their connection.

As our November 5 election approaches, more and more people are feeling the stress and anxiety of the current state of our country and the possibilities that lie ahead with the outcome of the election. Politics and divisiveness aside, how are you feeling? How are you holding all of the emotion that comes up in response to current events and politics? Join Karen & Lynn as they talk through their own election anxiety and what they do to honor their emotion and stay present. And, join us for upcoming Community Living Rooms specifically for election anxiety and connecting around our inner journey (not candidates or issues). Virtual - Wednesday, 10/16 from 11-1pm on Zoom Zoom link:  https://us06web.zoom.us/j/96147135643?pwd=REk4NjA2M01yS1lLVTloVXBXMkd1Zz09 In Person - Tuesday, 10/29 from 4-7pm in our new space:  113 W Harris St, Appleton, WI

There is a Leonard Cohen quote that goes, "There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in." It's a favorite of Karen's and it beautifully holds the values of Emotional CPR. It reinforces the belief that we need each other, and we heal in relationship with others. Join Karen and Lynn as they discuss the quote and how it reminds us to be a light for others.

A common discussion in our training classes is around boundaries and emotions. Setting boundaries can be challenging; add to it our human emotions and things can get downright complicated. Join Lynn and Karen as they define emotional boundaries and how we can practice creating a pause to determine what's mine and what's yours.

We all can identify times in our life when we have been triggered by past events that brought uncomfortable emotion or memories to the present moment. But have you heard of glimmers? In a world that is often focused on the negative impacts of life, glimmers are the opposite of triggers and can create moments of gratitude, joy and peace. Join Karen and Lynn as they share how noticing our glimmers (in addition to our triggers) can bring a wholeness to our experiences.

In a world that is hyper-focused on the "doing" rather than "being," we get asked often, "What do you do anyway?" Often we respond with, "We listen" which is quickly met with "No, but what do you do?" Ebb & Flow Connections Cooperative is focused on connection and a new way of listening to ourselves and others. Join Karen & Lynn as they share the power of the work they do and how they are building a connected community ... thanks to all of you!

How much energy do you put into looking "together? How much energy do you put into holding back emotion or putting on a smile when you want to fall apart? More importantly, what would happen if you allowed yourself to fall apart? Truly, what would happen? The conditioning we receive to appear perfect, unemotional, and "together" runs deep. Learning to allow for imperfections, mistake making, and emotional transparency takes deep courage and practice. Join Karen and Lynn as they talk through the benefits of allowing yourself to fall apart.

Everything you do, everything you say, everything you feel is valid, important and it matters. You are a human being who has value ... always. Join Lynn and Karen as they share what it means to feel "real" - to be seen, heard and valued - no matter how you may feel on the inside.

Our world can be overwhelming. The rapid pace of digital technology and the receiving of information can make it feel like it's spinning much faster today. What can you do when you are feeling overwhelmed and helpless? Join Karen and Lynn as they talk through opportunities to ground in the present moment and reframe your sphere of influence.

As human beings, we all have pieces of us that we may not share with others. It's part of our human experience. Being vulnerable can be scary. Allowing others to see us and witness our true selves can be transformative when it is received with non-judgment and empathy. Join Karen and Lynn as they talk through moments of being seen in their vulnerability and how holding space for others to be seen has deepened.

We all experience times in life where we feel like we've lost our way. Maybe it's the result of a traumatic experience. Maybe it's the result of significant changes in life. Maybe life has become overwhelming, and we feel like we are drowning. In the midst of it all, know that you are not alone. Join Karen and Lynn as they talk through their individual experiences of getting lost on the road of life and how connection with others helped them regain their footing.

Although it is two simple words ... Stop It ... "it" can be incredibly difficult to stop when it is something that we have been conditioned to do for many, many years. Before we can make changes, we need to become aware that change is even needed. Join Karen and Lynn as they share powerful messages to "stop it" and how important extending self-compassion and empathy to ourselves, during change, can be.

What happened to you? Listening to the answer to this question for ourselves and others helps shift the framework of how we view our experiences and their impact. "Listening to Trauma" is a new curriculum created by Karen Iverson Riggers and Lynn McLaughlin that seeks to deepen understanding of trauma and how to support our own healing and the healing of others. Listening to Trauma explores what trauma is, the types of trauma we might experience, the effects of trauma, and paths to healing. Connection is prevention, and when our stories are believed, we can begin to heal.

How often have you tried to share difficulties with another person and you experience dismissal, minimization or deflection. It's hard saying life is hard! Yes having struggles or challenges in life is a normal part of our human experience and it does not mean you are difficult, defective or less than any other person. Join Karen and Lynn as they talk through the hard parts of their lives and fully embrace them as part of being human.

Every experience we have ever had creates a personal perception lens with which we see the world. In order to connect with others and meet them where they are requires us to set aside what we know based on our experiences alone. To create relationship and connection, we need to approach people with curiosity and an open mind that creates space for definition and understanding. Join Karen and Lynn as they talk through their experiences of meeting people where they are.

THIS IS OUR 50TH EPISODE FRIENDS! When we began our journey as podcasters on May 17, 2022, we had no idea what would become of "Real Vibes Only." All we knew for certain was that we were committed to sharing in real, authentic ways what we were learning about ourselves and others engaged through our training, presentations and Community Living Room. 22 months later and we are celebrating our 50th episode and a deeper connection with ourselves and each of you! Thank you from the bottom of our hearts. Disclaimer: Like all of our episodes, this episode is produced in an amateur-ish, very simple fashion. No editing or embellishing. Therefore, you will need to add your own bells and whistles to help us celebrate our 50th episode!

Doesn't it always feel like there is always someone who is smarter, more capable or better at navigating life than we are? Let me fill you in on a secret. There is NO ONE more qualified to live your life or make decisions about your life than YOU. The problem is that we are taught to look for our answers outside of ourselves and are rarely taught to trust ourselves to know what's best. Like any new skill or muscle, it takes practice and repetition to get good at it. Join Lynn and Karen as they talk through their own journeys of learning to trust themselves and encourage you to do the same.

There are so many pieces of life that are simple in concept, but are not easy to implement. Working with emotions, supporting others, and essentially a lot of the framework of Emotional CPR is simple ... but sitting with the discomfort, practicing new ways of engaging with others, and deepening our relationship with ourselves is anything but easy. Join Karen and Lynn as they talk through the "simple things" and acknowledge how difficult they can be and how important self-compassion is to our process.

As human beings, most of us cringe at the word "fail" or "failure" because it can feel like success eluded us. But what if it could be reframed in a way that had a gentle and encouraging meaning? Join Lynn and Karen as they share a new acronym that can accomplish just that!

Our lives are filled with uncertainty. This was amplified exponentially when we were in the throes of a pandemic. Not only did we have questions specific to the pandemic, but political divide and the the rampant distribution of misinformation created even more uncertainty. Join Karen and Lynn as they talk through the discomfort of uncertainty and the importance of feeling our emotions to move beyond it.

Remember the childhood game "Chutes & Ladders?" Our journey of self-awareness can be similar. Sometimes we slide backwards and sometimes we are able to move forward in life in big ways. And, even with the discomfort that results, both pieces are important to our journey. Join Karen and Lynn as they sift through their awareness embracing their “Chutes & Ladders” in the process.

January hits and the dark, cold reality of winter often sets in for people. But it is exactly as nature intended. It provides us with time to journey inward and learn more about ourselves. In nature, many creatures hibernate. Winter gives us the opportunity to slow down, rest our bodies, and listen to what our bodies actually need. Join Lynn & Karen as they talk through the hard spots and opportunities that winter provides.

We all experience moments of frustration or anger with ourselves. Whether it's making a mistake or falling back into old patterns or hurting someone we love, it is normal to experience emotions in response to our words or actions. But somewhere along the way, the unresolved anger and frustration turns into an inner critic or bully and results in feelings of shame. Join Lynn and Karen as they take a lighthearted look at what pisses them off about being them.

Guess what? As human beings, we all create judgments about others. It's important to realize that our judgments are a reflection of our "personal perception lens" vs. anything remotely close to the whole truth. When we can pause and clear our minds of our judgments, we are better able to create and maintain authentic connection with others and ourselves. Join Karen and Lynn as they talk through the challenge of creating space for the unknowing of another's story and holding connection as the goal.