025 – SDP – 5 Tips For Avoiding Isolation

You've been hurt very very deeply. It may seem like the world is against you. There will be times that you feel like retreating inside the safety of your house or apartment and not come out except when it's absolutely necessary. And if you're still living in the marital home it may not even feel like a safe place.It may feel like the foundations of your life have been pulled out from under you.But this is not the time to isolate yourself. You need the support of family and friends more than ever before to help you get through this trying time. It can be especially hard if you have an introverted personality. I am a very strong introvert and enjoy my alone time, but during and after a divorce is no time to let your introverted tendencies take over.Here are 5 tips to help you get through this time without isolating yourself.Exercise RegularlyHere's one where I am not good at following my own advice, but exercising just makes you feel good. When you exercise the brain releases endorphins that trigger a feeling of well being. It's often referred to as a "runner's high" but any type of prolonged physical activity will get the job done.There are also the obvious physical benefits to excersing, Staying physically fit and possibly even losing a few extra pounds is always a good thing to do.When we exercise we just feel better about ourselves. And when you feel better it's much easier to consider the thought of interacting with others.Get Cleaned Up And "Ready To Go"It's amazing how this can change your outlook, especially on weekends. Avoid the temptation to lounge around in your pajamas all day. There's something about the routine of getting ready to go out into the world that can make you more willing to be social. If your friends call at the last minute wanting to do something and your still in your pjs it's much easier to say no.Ladies, fix your hair and put your makeup on. Guy's, shower and shave. Take away any excuses you have to stay home. Now for those who know me well, the shaving part may seem hypocritical as I'm not a big fan of shaving and will often go days without. But even I must admit that it does make me feel better having a clean shaven face, well at least the part not covered in hair.The key is that if you feel presentable you will be more likely to seek out the company of others.Don't Wait For Others To CallBe the one to make the plans. Don't wait for others to call you instead find something exciting to do and invite someone to tag along. Something as simple as going out for coffee or ice cream can really help break the cycle of staying home alone.Also, don't overlook the importance of staying connected with co-workers. Just going out for lunch occasionally can keep you plugged in to the social side of life and keep your from isolating further.Get InvolvedFind a ministry at your church, volunteer for your favorite charity, or help out at your kid's school. One of the best things you can do to take your mind off your own problems is to help someone else. It can seem daunting, but there are many understaffed programs in any community that would be glad for the extra help and you just might make some new friends.I was hired as an assistant football coach at our local high school shortly before I found out I was getting divorced. I truly believe that God put that in my life to keep me active during the divorce process. Even though guys, especially football coaches, are not known for their emotional depth, having a group of quality men to spend time with on a regular basis was one thing that kept me going.Avoid Dating Too SoonThis is contrary to the advice you are likely getting from well meaning friends and family, but dating too soon is counter productive. When you start dating again, you will likely forget about the pain of the divorce; however, if you haven't taken the time to heal from your deep emotional wounds, any new relationships will be doomed to failure.