79: Mental Health And Including Your Partner In Your Healing With Shelby Hayle

Today’s guest, Shelby Hayle, is not only a friend, but she also does work for MUVE LIFE and The MUVE FORWARD Podcast. We met at a Female Rising event and immediately were drawn to each other. Having both lost a parent, we know the heartache that one can truly only feel if you’ve suffered that type of loss and so we immediately felt that connection. Today we’re going to hear about Shelby’s past struggles with mental illness and her healing journey with her husband, and how he has helped her stay on track. She talks about the devastating year she had in losing both her Papa and Father, all while being pregnant with her first and only child. Shelby is the true definition of a warrior. She has been through the darkest of times, but she has found a way to bring joy back into her life.When Shelby was 17, she moved away from home to start her University career. Being on her own made her take notice of her inner voice and how she was feeling. She was noticing that her motivation was lessening each morning and she knew something wasn’t right. Shortly after this realization, she started on a journey to figure out what she could do to feel like her best self again. As she spoke with Doctors and then a Psychologist, and then a Therapist - they were all in agreement that her mental health was not in a good state. Fortunately, she was highly motivated to feel better so she dove into therapy and also started on a journey of trying various medications to help her chemical imbalance with depression and anxiety.Throughout this entire journey, Shelby was in a relationship with her high school sweetheart and now husband, Jordan - and so he was part of her journey from day one with her mental illness. She remembers thinking that she knew one day she would marry him and that hopefully, they would be able to start a family together, and she knew she wanted to be healthy mentally when she brought a child into the world. As she got older, she remembers a day where she said to her husband, “I am ready. I am ready to move forward and I am ready to not be on medication.” It took about two years of consistent therapy and doing the work, as well as 10 months to wean off her medications when she felt ready - in full. Over the two years, her therapy sessions went from weekly, to bi-weekly, to monthly and then were eventually only on an as-needed basis.After ridding herself of all medications and feeling mentally strong again, Shelby and her husband decide to begin the journey of starting a family. They felt very blessed to become pregnant and were expecting their baby in August of 2019. Early February 2019, Shelby received a phone call in the middle of the night that her Grandfather had passed unexpectedly. One week later on family day weekend, Shelby received another phone call telling her that her father was in a snowmobile accident and had died instantly. Her first thoughts were, “how am I going to do this.” As the months passed, and she came closer to her due date with their baby - she finally had a moment where she realized that there was a tiny human inside of her that she hadn’t been paying much attention to in her efforts to make sure everyone else was okay. She finally accepted help, reluctantly and took time off work to dedicate the last 7 weeks before the baby’s arrival to heal her mind and to connect with the baby.Shelby shares this closing message: "It's important to know that you can take the time you need to heal. Forgive yourself, and know that you’re not alone. You have a voice and you are allowed to use it. Take the time to grow, to learn and to heal. You are the only vehicle you have in your life to make yourself truly happy and enjoy this beautiful life. Do something you love each day and take care of yourself so that you can take care of those you love the most.”Connect with Shelby on Instagram:@shelbyhayle@thehayleco