Ep. 41: Helen Roy on Parenting, Care Feminism, and Human Dignity

Lura and Lauren welcome writer and mother of four Helen Roy of Helen Roy Writes to the podcast We Made This Political for their parenting month series. Roy describes how her early work as an analyst at the Defense Intelligence Agency, graduate study in Western moral tradition and Aristotle’s virtue ethics, and concern about national identity and lack of grand strategy led her to see the family as a basic unit of civilization and parenting as work with deep civic meaning. She shares how meeting her husband (her first Bumble date) shifted her view of family life, and emphasizes that raising a family can be central without diminishing intellectual or professional work. The conversation turns to Roy’s “Call Your Mom” advice series and her view of feminism, which she identifies as “care feminism” and “Catholic feminism,” drawing in part from radical Black feminist legacies that center care as legitimate economic, spiritual, and politically significant work. They discuss care as protection and resistance, including examples from the history of Black midwifery, and criticize contemporary conservative anti-feminist arguments that dismiss feminism by redefining it narrowly while taking for granted feminist achievements such as age-of-consent reforms and legal protections. Roy argues misogyny remains present in culture and politics, citing public reactions and comments around the Epstein files as attempts to minimize women’s anger and enforce silence. Roy explains how these convictions shape her parenting: teaching daughters not to abandon themselves, cultivating attention to inner voice and God’s voice, reinforcing bodily integrity by not forcing affection, and protecting boundaries around children’s bodies. She describes writing advice in the voice she herself needed—offering mentorship and insisting romantic love should imitate divine love. Roy also reflects on her movement away from rigid, black-and-white thinking, saying early motherhood—especially a traumatic birth experience and health consequences from rigid breastfeeding ideals—humbled her and pushed her toward moderation and complexity. The episode closes with Roy’s view that optimism is both natural and a deliberate choice, echoing her mother’s note that “optimism is a force multiplier,” and she shares where listeners can find her work on Substack and Instagram.00:00 Welcome to the Podcast + Meet Helen Roy01:56 Parenting as Civic Life: When Family Becomes Political02:34 From National Security to Aristotle: Family as the Unit of Civilization07:06 Meaning in the Concrete: Grand Strategy, Faith, and Subsidiarity09:25 Is There a ‘Helen Roy Feminism’? Introducing Care Feminism15:21 Care as Resistance: Black Midwifery and the Politics of Protection18:04 Why Feminism Still Matters: Rights, History, and Conservative Anti-Feminism23:53 Women’s Work in Religion & the New Pushback on Women’s Humanity28:49 Misogyny in Plain Sight: Epstein Files, ‘Smile More,’ and Silencing Women35:40 Parenting Daughters (and Sons) with Human Dignity in Mind36:43 Parenting Girls in an Unfair World (and What We Do to Boys Too)37:33 Raising Kids Not to Abandon Themselves: Inner Voice, God’s Voice & Boundaries39:53 Body Integrity & Intuition as a ‘Superpower’42:01 ‘You’re Made for So Much More’: Emotional & Spiritual Integrity in Love43:32 Writing Advice as Mentorship: The Voice She Needed Growing Up46:33 Rejecting ‘Pottery Barn Catholicism’ & Fundamentalist Mommy Culture50:42 Radical Moderation: Escaping Gender Binaries and One-Brand Feminism52:37 From Extremes to Humility: Motherhood, Trauma, and Letting Go of Certainty58:08 Grace, Control, and Being ‘Broken Open’ (With or Without Kids)59:34 Optimism as a Choice: Hope, Destiny, and Closing ReflectionsResourcesHelen’s amazing Substack is here: https://helenroy.substack.com/aboutFurther ReadingDiscussed in the episode include Chantal Delsol’s book Icarus Fallen. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wemadethispolitical.substack.com