Ep. 46: Forgive yourself. Period.

As humans, it is in our nature to punish ourselves when we do something wrong. But does punishing yourself ever really account for something good? In this episode, we talk about forgiveness. And it’s not about forgiving a friend, a family member, or a loved one. It’s forgiving the most important person to you—you. WHAT TO LISTEN FOR: People’s common response to making mistakes [3:53] Beating yourself up—which is extremely unhealthy Blaming yourself DOES NOT help Dwelling in the past and wishing you’ve made a different choice What’s important is asking yourself how to avoid making the same mistake Why living in the shadow of your mistakes could be problematic [6:20] You lose room for gratitude What you did in the past shaped who are today What have you learned from your mistakes? Letting go of your mistakes [10:08] Even the U.S. Constitution won’t prosecute you for the same offense—there’s no need for you to put yourself in trial repeatedly Your mistakes don’t necessarily define who you are and who you’ll be Give yourself permission to learn from your mistakes and use what you learned Don’t let your mistakes stop you from preaching your story The haze of choosing differently [15:52] How can you make a different choice and stop beating yourself up? How can you learn to forgive yourself, like how you forgive others? If you spoke to yourself the way that you speak to other people, would you want to be in a relationship with YOU? How can you choose you every day? If you can forgive the horrendous mistakes others committed to you, can’t you do the same for yourself? RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE: The Four Agreements Double Jeopardy Cuffing Season - Michael Todd Brené Brown: Focus on guilt instead of shame Masterclass with Sarah Blakely, Founder of Spanx TO STAY CONNECTED: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify Playlist⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Music for this moment. Follow @iamshate on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ If you'd like either of us to join your next panel or event, please email us at ⁠[email protected]⁠.