Ep. 5: My bad.

Welcome to today's episode where we'll be exploring the difficult topic of self-forgiveness. Many of us have been in situations where we know we should have made a different decision, but instead, we made a mistake that ended up hurting someone else. It's easy to beat ourselves up and fall into a cycle of self-blame and regret, but how do we move forward and forgive ourselves when we're the ones at fault? Join us as we dive into strategies and techniques for practicing self-compassion and forgiveness, and ultimately finding peace and healing after making a mistake. WHAT TO LISTEN FOR: How to forgive yourself when you’re at fault [0:24] The first step towards self-forgiveness is acknowledging mistakes. Practice self-compassion and kindness towards yourself. Let go of perfectionism. Embrace your imperfections and learn from them. Practice mindfulness. Stay in the present moment. Don't let your past mistakes consume you. Seek support from loved ones or a therapist if needed. It's okay to ask for help and support during the process of self-forgiveness. Navigating hurt feelings [2:37] Hurting someone's feelings intentionally or unintentionally feels bad either way. Difficult conversations that may hurt someone's feelings are sometimes necessary. Forgiveness is necessary for both the person who hurt someone's feelings intentionally and unintentionally. There are different levels of hurt, and forgiveness may be required depending on the situation. There may be a feeling of being misunderstood when intentions do not align with the impact of the words. The inevitability of encountering "speed bumps" in human relationships [8:14] We want the good without the bad in human relationships. Speed bumps and conflicts are inevitable in any relationship. The greatness of humanity is experiencing the entirety of emotions. The key part of knowing who is at fault [14:10] Knowing when you are at fault requires the other person to tell you and having a conversation about it in a productive and less emotionally charged way. Some people may not have the resolve to have difficult conversations and may just discard relationships when things don't go their way. We should aim to resolve conflicts in our relationships instead of throwing people away. Communicate with the other person and resolve the conflict Unaddressed trauma and moving forward [16:43] The amount of unaddressed trauma in society. There is a history of not addressing trauma and simply moving on. Society often focuses on moving forward rather than healing. Healing should be a more significant part of conversations around trauma. "Moving on" is often viewed as letting go of baggage, but this may not be the case Navigating the haze of forgiving oneself [24:12] The struggle with reconciling with oneself when at fault in a situation which can lead to depression and making the same mistake repeatedly. Reframing failure as a natural part of life and adjust their goals accordingly. Taking action and not waiting until they are "ready" to pursue goals What does that look like forgiving yourself? [35:35] Going through a “process of working through” the situation Affirming one's worthiness of forgiveness is important RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom TO STAY CONNECTED: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify Playlist⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Music for this moment. Follow @iamshate on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ If you'd like either of us to join your next panel or event, please email us at ⁠[email protected]⁠.