Ep. 77: Change your default setting.

We’ve been thinking a lot about chaos vs peace. In today’s episode, we’re unpacking the idea of changing our default setting, specifically when that default is chaos. We invite you to reflect on your default setting and consider the possibility of embracing peace amidst life's chaos. Remember, healing is a journey, and every step towards self-discovery is a victory worth celebrating. WHAT TO LISTEN FOR: Default setting of chaos and destabilization [1:43] The constant cycle of being displeased with yourself A pattern of self-doubt and dissatisfaction The struggle to let go of the idea that you should keep moving to the next level How boredom triggers you to find chaos Our constant desire to find chaos is rooted from the feeling of not enoughness Unhealthy comparison (i.e. your life vs. others’ lives as seen on social media) can contribute to the feeling of not enoughness The belief that too much happiness is a prelude to something awful NOT choosing chaos over peace [12:03] How Shaté, who’s always chosen peace, chose chaos in her finances Learning to be grateful for what you have and acknowledging answered prayers How not to have a regret-filled life Finding joy and gratitude in where you are now instead of continuing to search for it Let’s talk about healing—changing/reprogramming your default settings [19:51] Changing the narrative that you're telling yourself Changing the way you talk to yourself—language matters! Remembering that wherever you are in life: There are so many things to be grateful for You worked hard for it and you deserve credit Actionable steps to reprogram your default settings [27:24] Evaluating why you need help Determining the change you want to see Developing a treatment plan Shaté encourages seeking help from a therapist/accountability buddy or any type of mentor who could keep you in check Not being to hard on yourself and remembering that healing is NOT linear Biggest lessons around choosing peace [34:27] Always factor in peace when making decisions—you won’t ever go wrong Never allow people step over the boundaries you’ve set for yourself Friends, we’re very happy to announce our first live podcast event in the Atlanta area, and it’s happening in March. A portion of all of our proceeds are going towards subsidizing or covering the cost of therapy for black adults. More details soon, hope to see you there! RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE: The Big Leap, book by Gay Hendricks Listen to Ep. 48: Mental health matters with Stephanie Westbrook Listen to Ep. 45: Healing our relationship with money w/Ranauldo & Liz Wright Listen to Hello, song by Aqyila Listen to Reset III, song by Isaac Carree TO STAY CONNECTED: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify Playlist⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Music for this moment. Follow @iamshate on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ If you'd like either of us to join your next panel or event, please email us at ⁠[email protected]⁠.