How to Stop Obsessing Over Someone Else's Behavior

Do you spend more time thinking about what they're doing than thinking about yourself? In this solo episode, Finn and Dr. Sarah Michaud read a letter from Gary — a goldfish swimming literal circles in his tank while his dad drinks himself into the couch every night. It sounds funny until you realize you've been Gary. This episode breaks down the core of codependency: obsessing over someone else's behavior until there's nothing left of your own life, and what to actually do instead. KEY TAKEAWAYSObsessing over someone else's behavior — their drinking, their moods, their choices — is the core of codependency, not a side effectRecognizing you can't control it is step one, but most people skip it and keep trying to fix anywayShifting focus to your own needs, feelings, and self-care is not selfish — it is the recoveryThere is a real difference between worrying about what someone else is doing and identifying behaviors that are directly affecting you and require a boundaryA boundary is not about controlling what they do — it is about expressing what you need and what you will do if things don't changeYou cannot carry the worry and expect it to help them — offloading it to something outside yourself, whether that is a higher power, a shelf, or a little spoon, actually works NOTABLE QUOTE"You're not expressing what you want your dad to do, but what you're expressing is what you need to do for yourself — and that's what really impacts the people we love." — Dr. Sarah MichaudConnect with Us:Dr. Sarah Michaud — Author of Co CrazyFollow @leavingcrazytown on YouTubeWebsite: https://drsarahmichaud.com/ Leaving CrazyTown is a raw, real-talk podcast hosted by Finn and Dr. Sarah Michaud, two recovering addicts turned relatable guides on the wild ride of codependency healing. With a unique blend of humor, honesty, and clinical insight, this show tackles the chaos of dysfunctional relationships, identity loss, and boundary disasters — while offering practical tools, powerful storytelling, and a roadmap for emotional freedom. Weekly episodes on YouTube (@leavingcrazytown) and all major podcast platforms.