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Hello, listener. My name is Jason. I am one third of the machine you have tuned in to listen to. Speaking of machinery, those two tools are on their way in. Sit tight. Turn it up. Here it comes. Welcome to SmartLess.
Hey, guys, guess what? What is it, Jonah? There's our live episodes out now on YouTube with Jonah Hill from the Avalon. Our live episode. How can people find it? It's at YouTube slash Smartless. Is that right? Say it again? I wasn't writing. Yeah, it's at YouTube.com slash Smartless. And you can watch it. And it's a live show at the Avalon with Jonah Hill. So you can see us instead of heroes. This is correct. All right, well, thanks for the housekeeping there. Anyway, let's get back to things. By the way, what do you guys think of my shirt? I do notice you're wearing a NASA hat today. Are you feeling excited about Artemis 2? Isn't that wild? Let's talk about that.
Why is everybody freaking out about that? We've been going like traveling to Mars and shit. No. Well, but like we did the moon loop, did the moon landing in 68, 69, something like that. They're not even landing on the moon. They're just going to kind of do a little asso. They're pussies. They're pussies. But it's just like, why is everyone like, oh, God. No, I think it's amazing what they're doing. They're slingshotting it, by the way. I'm just saying like, help me understand. Yeah, no. Well, because it's the farthest anybody's been ever. Is that right? I think so. I think it's the farthest humans from Earth. From Earth, yeah. Because we're traveling around the backside of it as opposed to landing on the front of it? That's correct, yeah. Well, let's see.
like they're reaching for a record there, you know? That's like not going to Jason's house, but just stopping at Will's house. Yeah, I mean, I just don't know if that's something... It feels like the equivalent of Oscar bait. Yeah, yeah. I mean, what if they did... How about this? What if they do that one loop, right? They qualify for first, and then when they come back around, fucking land the thing.
Like, you know, and drive the buggy around again and hit another golf shot. That'd be really sensational. I'm going to try to get you an email address so you can send this in. I'm sure they're looking for ideas over there. Of course. Wait, Jay, but I think the idea is to collect more information so that the next one they can land on the moon. Again? Yeah, I think. What about if they build a little treehouse on it or something like that? Well, I think they're talking about that. Yeah, they're talking about colonizing a little tiny thing so that you can launch from there to Mars. Would you ever do one of these rocket launches? Like, what's his face that Amazon did? Jeff Bezos. Right, he sent some people up. Would you ever do that?
I would, yeah. Really? Yeah, absolutely. Wouldn't you? Willie? I think I probably would. Wouldn't that be cool? You wouldn't piss out like a day before and go, well, hang on. I wouldn't pay for it.
I never pay for it. Yeah, well, nobody paid for it. Did those people pay for it? Only in Dignity. Only in Dignity. The Bezos people, they pay, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like 250 grand or some shit to go. Really? Oh, my God. That's crazy money. You can go up and leave the atmosphere and come back down. Yeah, to feel weightlessness. Wouldn't that be fun? Well, I'd love to get Neil deGrasse Tyson back on just to finish up that answer he was forming for me. I think it's all pretty cool. I mean, I'm not obsessed with it, but I think it's pretty damn cool.
Yeah, they had some toilet problems on the Artemis, too. Did you read that? Yeah. Yes. I had a toilet problem this morning. Let me tell you this. Jason, you could never go because they don't have a shower. Tremendous toilet. They don't have a shower next to the toilet up there, so you'd never be able to go. You can't shower immediately after a BN? No. Well, I'm out. Yeah, of course you're out. I got to feel fresh, you guys. As I explore the universe. Can you use a flushable wipe up there since there's no flushing? I bet. I bet. I'm sorry. Wait, you know what else? But I've been watching that new documentary, the Bob Lazar S4 thing.
No, what's that? I like a new documentary. Yeah, so you've got to see Bob Lazar. You know Bob Lazar, who worked at Area 51 and has been talking about it for decades. And nobody believes him, and he's like, he has drawings, he has memories. It's fascinating. And he... What's it called? It's called... Never mind, we look up at... It's called S4, the Bob Lazar story. S4. Oh, go ahead, sorry. No, keep going. I'm prompting you. So, yeah, so he went into... He used to work there. I know, I'm hurrying. He used to work there, and there was this long hanger of different sections with different parts of alien spacecraft.
I like getting him all lathered up. I mean, I'm sweating. Literally sweating. So there's a long hanger. Yeah, there's a hanger with different sections and each section has different parts of alien spacecraft that they've collected over the years.
Yeah, that doc we were talking about, I don't know if we were talking about it on the podcast or away, but the Age of Disclosure, James Clapper and John Brennan, they're talking about, we have been doing crash site recovery for years. And Bob Lazar's been talking about it way before they have. And I said, well, to myself, why don't we know about all this in a much more mainstream way? And the answer is simply, it would be too unsettling and disruptive to society. I think now it's only coming out because...
I think we can handle it now. Do you think we're helping by having little conversations like this on the podcast? Absolutely. This is having a major impact. Conditioning the public. This is helping turn the tide for sure. Or not for us holding their hand into something unsettling. People would be shocked. Us just having this sort of really loose anecdotal conversation where we can't even remember the names of the goddamn documentary is having a real effect. And not even know the mission of Artemis too. Yeah, exactly. Well, you know, listen.
This is all good stuff. Talk about a segue. I think this fella might have a nice perspective for us on this. Now, this is today. It brings us a voice of the current, the relevant, the forward, and the fresh. Okay? This comedian, artist, and media entrepreneur was born in Egypt.
lives in New York, spends his time delivering us one of the most viewed and talked about online interview shows around. His work has gathered billions of views, achieved acclaim from New York Times, GQ, New Yorker, Vanity Fair, as well as receiving multiple Webby nominations. Please welcome, not a fancy schmancy, triple A-list celebrity type, you two. No, no, this is a man of the people, a voice of the happening, a guy with some helpful hot takes, the host of Subway takes, Mr. Kareem Rama. Please, hello. Aliens are real and the truth is out there. Do you think there's a chance this is a real thing?
that we're going to the moon? No. We're going to do a lap. That part's true. We're in mid-lap right now. No, I mean that the rocket's even in space. Who knows if it's even in space? Oh, let's go like that. What do you mean? Wait, Kareem, what are you saying? Do you think that maybe we filmed the landing on the moon in a soundstage? Look, I am not a scientist, but I saw that the curve of the rocket...
like when it was going in space, kind of looks like it's not going up. It's going into the ocean. I'm just saying, I saw one video about this. If the arc continued, it's going to plummet. It's just going to go into the ocean? No, no, no. A short social media video is all I need. I think that arc is to offset the rotation of the Earth. That's right. It looks like it's going straight up, but it's not. It's going against the curve of the Earth. But the Earth is flat, so that makes no sense. Okay, thank you for joining us. I'll see you guys there. No, I don't believe that. Disclaimer, I don't believe any of that. I believe in the real world.
So you don't think there's any possibility that there is life outside Earth or sort of intelligent beings and that perhaps they may have crashed on this Earth a couple of times and that the government is aware? No, I fully believe that. I've had extraterrestrial experiences. I'm surprised none of you guys have. Welcome back to our episode. You guys haven't had extraterrestrial experiences? No comment. Tell us yours first.
Now, see, now it sounds fake, but I saw an alien in the bushes. When I was a kid, like, probably, like, 12. And I just saw it. And it just looked at me, and it said the word zone, Z-O-N-E. And I kind of just, like, said that a couple times, and then I just ran away. Was it the classic almond-shaped eye and head, teardrop head kind of thing? It was similar to that, but not as exaggerated. It was more like, it looked like, it just kind of looked like a weird-looking, maybe it was a weird-looking guy.
Yeah. It might have just been a neighbor. Was he small? Yeah, it was a small, weird-looking guy, but he was kind of green and big, huge eyes. I mean, it looked like an alien that you think about. And when he said that, do you feel like he was telling you, like, get in the zone, like, lock in? Like, he was encouragement? Yeah. Get in the zone. Study harder in school. Yeah. Now, all right, so then, all half-joking aside and all that, would you be surprised if there was a mainstream declaration from the government that we have, in fact, we can confirm that...
this is a more than a possibility and kind of get ready for this multi-year kind of trickle rollout information to, to really make this legitimate and substantial. Like, like they're here. I think the impact on society, I think it would destroy society. I think more so than like anything else, because I think religion, like, yeah, no, it would be gone. Science would be gone. Yeah. But, but like, what, what about what somebody said last night that, you know,
There's a possibility, let's say, that there's a group of wise men there in the government that is trying to figure out the best responsible way in which to condition the public to this inevitable reveal. And that, you know, Steven Spielberg's next movie, it's coming out at the end of this year, is called Disclosure. Like, it's going to be an enormous film. And it is about, from what I can gather from the trailer, the public finally being told. And it's probably funded by the CIA. I'm not even kidding. And I'm saying maybe this group of wise men, they pulled Spielberg in and said, hey, listen, could you help us out? Could you cover the pop culture end of this? And just start to- We need you to feed that.
Give the pablum to the people so that they can kind of... They're not so ambushed when it comes out and it's... I think people, no matter what the news is, they'll just keep scrolling. I mean, there could be aliens among us right now. They'll just keep scrolling. I think that's the condition. You don't think it's going to... It won't jar them out of it? No, I don't. I don't think so.
No, I think people will, like, seek out alien porn and, like, they'll do, like, it'll be more... Porn is always on the cutting edge of everything. They're always first on everything. I mean, even engagement with, you know, ghosts and stuff. It's always porn. Porn's always first. But I think that this movie is probably crazy timing and, like, and the launch. Like, I do think the CIA's... I sound so insane. I probably sound like the most insane guest you've ever had. No, no, no. Okay, good. Okay, good. We haven't aired those, but... But I think that the CIA has been known to use, like...
movies to, like, promote, like, oh, we're going to war in the Middle East. By the way, they would always do, you know, the government would make film, they would decide what kinds of films should be made at times of war. And to sort of, you know, garner support and get people, lift people's spirits and get them feeling patriotic and that's not new. All right. So, um, mister.
Where to begin? Where to begin? I mean, yeah. How do we claw back? Start us, take us, walk us towards, you know, you're now sort of this, you know, one of these forward voices in pop culture today. How did it all kind of start? Was this a goal? You started in Minneapolis, yes. You got a journalism degree, maybe, yes. And then business.
Yeah, that was a failure. I didn't finish that. And then you travel out to New York in pursuit of... Just not living in a small town. It was really a classic. And it was kind of like, let me go out east and strike gold in the same way that there's a Silicon Valley rush and the gold rush. I was like, oh, I'm going to go to New York. I'm going to get rich and famous. And that was a long time. That was 15 years ago. Any industry you had focused on? Or it was just like, that town has a lot of different ones. We'll see what hits. At the time, I was very much into entrepreneurship in this like, the social network had just come out. That was cool. Remember for a while, that was really cool. It was really cool to be like a tech.
founder. And I was like, oh, that's the way you do it. And all these young people were like making so much money. And I was like, oh, I think I should be a tech guy. Right. Take technology, use your creativity, your insight, your savviness, and see where the two could intersect. But really the ultimate goal was to strike it rich.
Yeah, it was definitely in pursuit of, yeah. And I did the opposite. I did the exact opposite because I got a job at Vice. And Vice pays you, it's like they get a three-for-one deal. So they get like three 25-year-old kids. They pay you a cocaine. Is that what you're going to say? They do. They actually do. At least holiday bonuses for paid income. I remember Christmas, it was like, here's a bag of Blow. And I was like, oh, cool. This is so cool. This is so interesting. But can I pay my rent with Blow? So you're at Vice and you're doing marketing stuff with them maybe, yeah? Yeah.
like content development and marketing and kind of like launching new shows and and i was never the talent but i wanted to be the talent were you working with like with like shane and eddie and all those guys yeah and at the time it was like 75 people so we were all in the same room yeah and i was listening to them on the phone and i'm like whoa this is so cool like it really was like getting that was a real mba in business because i'm like sitting in this room with shane and eddie and sarush and all these guys like listening to them He's awesome. He's such a good guy. I just saw him the other day. He's the greatest guy. He's so cool. He's so cool. From a marketing standpoint and also content, that was such an exciting company and hearing about it, seeing it coming and getting on board and kind of following it. You guys did a great job at that. It was really cool. It was really cool. And it felt like we were doing something. And Spike was around a bunch there too, wasn't he? Yeah, he was the executive creative director, which meant that he just got...
to say that. And he would hang out. I was like, that's such a cool job. David Cross was kicking around a little bit too, wasn't he? That was early days. He wasn't there at that point. No, I was there in 2012. And from there, you go to the New York Times? Yes. And for them, you did what? Less coke, I bet. I did the same thing. A lot less coke. A lot less coke. It was kind of like, that's why I quit. The Times was like, we just pay money. And I was like, damn.
Money can't buy Coke. It's Christmas and I haven't seen my blow yet. Did I not perform this year? Emailing the editor-in-chief. I'm like, hey, dude, I'm going to quit unless I get a little bonus here. So what were you doing for New York Times?
I was doing the same thing. I, like, helped start Times Video, which now makes film and television and kind of the podcasting and all that stuff. So I was, like, laying the groundwork for all that. And it was really cool. But then I did, so this is, like, I think I was, like, in New York for, like, maybe seven or eight years. And at that point, I was like, okay, I know enough people, I have enough information and knowledge and, like, maybe some access to money that I can actually go start my thing, like my own media company. And that was a massive failure. But I did do that for a couple of years. What was that first swing and miss?
It was, well, there was like a couple in a row, but it was a long and bad. There was a, yeah, it was, there was like, it was three strikes. It was three strikes. And then I was out. And that's when I was like, maybe I'm not so good at being like a CEO or an entrepreneur. And maybe I should just.
be like do what I'm good at which it seems like hanging out like I'm really good at hanging out and like you know podcasting is just really you guys are just hanging out guys yeah just interviewing having conversations we're hanging out kids for sure yeah so I was like maybe I should try my hand at that but the first swing and miss was something called nyc.tv and the idea was to do public access television on the internet which I was like that's a clever little something something and it just didn't work and then I shifted that into something called nameless network which was like do you remember like now this news like these, they kind of like made like thousands of viral videos every month that would be like, this guy is selling yams in Japan on a street corner dressed as a cat. You never saw like videos. No. They were like short, like two minute videos and it would just be like big text on a screen and it would be like, this school in Turkey is offering free haircuts to young people. So just like, I mean, real attention grabbers. I mean, stuff that's really mattering to people. Yams in Japan, haircuts in Turkey. I mean, and you're telling me that this did not take off. And we will be right back.
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And now back to the show. So then a few swings and misses and then you say, well, maybe I should just grab a camera and a microphone, get in front of it and start doing what comes natural, which is just kind of being a man of the people and see what comes. So what was that first thing that kind of grabbed and you could feel the momentum moving and this may be working? The first big hit was a show that I created. And this is a time when there was like no...
shows like there was no short form unscripted vertical video shows and I say that and it was just like everyone's making content but there was no like show in this thing but I decided to make a show and I was like why isn't there just a TV show that's distributed on TikTok and Instagram and it was called Keep the Meter Running and it was this concept where I would hail a cab and just tell the driver to take me wherever they want and It was always insane. Like it would just be so crazy. Like one time I- So the taxi driver has it flipped on him or her where they're not being told where to go by the person in the back, but you get to take me, the passenger, wherever you driver want to go and just keep the meter running and tell me about why you like this place. Yeah? Yeah, yeah. Just go take me to your favorite place and keep the meter running. And I would end up like, one time I ended up like in New Jersey on a helicopter with this guy from Morocco and he was literally just-
Drinking and driving. Drinking and driving. Really? Wow. But yeah, he had a pint of Malibu, which I thought was an interesting choice. That is an interesting choice. That's the white bottle. Sure. So you do that. So you do the keep the meter running for a while. Yeah, I do like 20 episodes. And still going. Yes. The meter still running on this. Well, I had to stop because at the time it was my first thing and I was a massive failure, remember? And I had no money. And those episodes were obviously when you tell a guy keep the meter running and he goes, let's go on a helicopter ride in New Jersey. By the end of the day, you spent literally $2,000. Sure. And so I could only do, I spent all of my money. And then I was like, I have to put this on pause. And then.
I was like, and now it's back except bigger. Now it's like YouTube. It's like 20-minute episodes. It's crazy now. I'm so surprised. How do you get them to, because I know a lot of cab drivers that I get in. Oh, do you, Sean? You know a lot of cab drivers. They don't. They don't want to talk. What? Yeah, they don't want to. They all want to talk. Just not to Sean. Oh, all right. Sean, what do you mean? Well, maybe I don't talk. They're usually on the phone, and they want to just keep their conversation going on their phone. I just assume they don't want to chat. Oh, you can't tell them to stop talking. Especially when you get the camera going, right? They hang out.
Yeah. Just maybe just bring up like, just be like, so how about, you know, like politics? Don't bring up medallions. No, I've just figured that's a real hot topic. So what was the first sign that people were watching Keep the Meter Running? How did you find out? Legitimately the next day. So like I posted the video and I turned my phone off because I was like another failure. I was conditioned to just fail at that point. When you say post it, what did you throw it up on? I put it on TikTok and Instagram. Okay. Of which you had already some followers. But not a lot, like 30,000, you know, and so enough to like.
Yeah, for them to then send it out to their folks, and that's how viral happens, right? Oh, hang on a second. Walk us through that, baby. Granddad is just... I can't wait for your understanding of how this is. Isn't it an exponential dissemination of... I noticed you didn't say the word algorithm in that. You actually said that to friends. I saved that for later. Oh, yeah. That's a great idea. So you put it up, and you turn off your phone. You turn on your phone later that night, and... Well, I go to the bodega the next morning, and at this point, I just turned my phone back on, but I didn't log. I didn't open the apps, and I went to the bodega, and the guy goes...
oh, you look so familiar. And I go, I don't know, I'm a loser. I've been here a million times. Like I've literally been here. I look familiar because I see you every day. And he goes, no, you look so familiar. And then he goes, taxi, you're the taxi guy. You did the show. And I was like, what? And I opened my phone and it has like 2 million views. In a night. Yeah. And so many like thousands of comments. And I was like, holy shit, it actually worked. And it felt like that moment where I was like, I did something that.
for the first time ever. People responded to it and it was doing exactly what I thought I could do well, which is hang out. And I was like, oh my God, maybe I finally found my thing. I called my mom. I was like, I know what I'm going to do for a living. I'm just going to hang out with other people. And so you immediately tried to double down, triple down, have another episode. Buy a Ferrari first. Buy a Ferrari that morning. This is going to pan out. The new episode, the new season is premiering soon. It's the 19th, right? May 13th, whatever that is. May 13th, yes. I think this is the 11th.
today. I think it's in two days. So what season is that? This is like the first official season of, I'm bringing my thesis of making television and putting it on YouTube. But like, it's not a YouTube show because it is television quality production and television storytelling. And like, we have, you know, I went to like the Russian Turkish bathhouse with a guy named Eugene and his friend Boris. We'll get into that later. Let's talk about the show. That is the show. Oh, I'm sorry.
And, you know, do that. I'm producing, I produced a play for an Irish cab driver named Irish John. That's not his name, but, you know, I call him that. And he goes, I have a one-man show. And I go, what's this all about? So he takes me to his basement. He shows me this one-man show. I go, cool, let's put it in a theater. So, you know, performing in front of 300 people, all self-produced, looks like a stand-up special. And, you know, go fishing with a Korean guy named Young in Bear Mountain and Sketch. It's really remarkable. And the whole kind of through line of the show is like, how to be a better man.
Like how to be a better brother, how to be a better father, how to be a better friend. It's all because these guys have like the secret to the universe in, you know, like you're driving for 12 hours a day. Your life is hard. You're sending money home or you're just supporting your family. And they like have this fatherly wisdom. I don't know if any of you guys lost your father early. I lost mine when I was 20. And I started like.
having these convos with these cab drivers because I felt like they had some advice for me. Right. You know? And I didn't have Will's number yet, so I couldn't call him. I couldn't call him for advice. Sean didn't lose his dad. His dad got lost. Yeah. So, wow, that's really remarkable, man. That's so cool. Yeah, that's really cool. And then, so then, tell us about, since Subway Takes happens, you get an idea for that and you figure you can do it at the same time simultaneously? Well, I had run out of the money because the other show was costing like $2,000 per episode. And so I was like, okay, this whole short form, unscripted thing is really working.
for me, what's like another version of that which is less expensive? And again, like... Sorry, let me just stop you for one second. Educate me and our listener because this might be fascinating. It certainly would be to me. How do you run out of money doing that show? Because I guess the question is, how do you monetize a show like that? So you put it up on Instagram and TikTok. How were you even thinking you could get paid for that? How does a creator get paid for that? Can you advertise against those little shorts? He sees your first episode. It's got two million views overnight. Are you seeing that in real time in dollars coming to you?
No, I'm seeing $0. That's the problem. How would you even hope to monetize that? How would you get paid for that? You would want a brand to essentially say, I love what you're doing. Hey, do you want to pay? In every episode, do you want to use your Chase debit card or credit card to pay for the cabbies? Or do you want to communicate using WhatsApp exclusively with their families and your friends? So you'd want someone to underwrite the series in the same way that a streamer or a production company or a network would underwrite. It's brand-funded entertainment. So you were pursuing that and getting no bites, or you just didn't know to do that yet?
I didn't know to do that yet. And I also was like so overwhelmed and just kind of, I was in panic mode. Like I don't know what to do with this, you know? And actually the first thing I did was like, I was like, okay, maybe there should be a TV show instead. And like, I should get money from someone in Hollywood. And, but that whole rigmarole, I went on like a wild goose chase with that. I was like, yeah, it was taking too long. And in the meantime, I was like, let me start another thing while this is baking in the TV world. Let me start another thing to kind of like continue my work. But what made you think that second thing would be something that you would be able to monetize and get money out of?
I didn't really think about that either. It was really more so like... I'm really noticing a trend here. Yeah, this is... You thought, I'm not making any money with the thing. This thing's costing me money. What I should do is interview Jason Bateman on the subway holding a MetroCard instead of a microphone. That'll do it. It worked. I'm here. It did. I love JB. I loved your episode. Oh, man, I did too. What a fun time I had. If you guys have not seen Subway Takes, and I haven't seen Keep the Meter running yet. I can't wait to watch that. Oh, I need both of you guys on there. Tell people what Subway Takes, what the concept of that is.
So Subway 6 is essentially like a two-minute talk show on the train where I interview local stand-up comedians, regular comedians, musicians, writers, directors, anyone who I find kind of interesting, and also people like Jason Bateman. Right, and then you had Jason on. You can't appreciate the big ones unless you get a couple of flunkers. I found him kind of interesting. I was just like, he's kind of interesting. I'm curious about the details of your episode with JB. Okay, concept, but I really want to know, what station did you guys get in? What did you guys do? What train were you on?
We were Lower East Side. Yes, we were in Chinatown on the F train at East Broadway. Wow. Yes, I remember. I had to boil my entire body after that. Jason, the look on your driver's face when you said, take me there. He said, let you out here. I said, no, no, no, hang on. Just keep the door closed for a minute. Jason brought an extra pair of pants and an extra shirt. And some plastic to sit on. He called it his train clothes. That's what he called it, his train clothes. And he was wearing white latex gloves. Why are you wearing those? That sounds right. I love the train. I'm in the MetroCard. So you go, you decide, all right. But the concept is, listener,
is that he has somebody come on and just give one hot take on something. Right. And Kareem decides whether he's 100% on board with that or in opposition to that. For instance, my dumb ass hot take was, I think all dogs should wear shoes. 100% agree. 100% agree. But then the interview is, well, why do you agree and why do I think? Basically, I just think, you know, so that you don't want them to walk into your place and...
tracking all the poo they like to walk around in. So anyway, so that's kind of the concept, and it's a two-minute concept, and it's pleasurable, and we're popping around the city. Do you think dogs, if dogs go to a play, they should go backstage? And see the artist. Sorry, we'll do that later. But Kareem, can we do a hot take to you? Because I just thought of this when you popped on about that show. And I was like, doing Broadway shows, you know those rickshaws that are super fucking loud at night? Shouldn't there be a law against the sound of those people? 100% agree. Yeah, there's too much noise pollution in New York City. Oh, Sean, is this our segment called Old Man Gripes? What are we doing? And should those damn kids slow down in the neighborhood? No, he's right. It's too damn loud. You're so synonymous with New York. I just thought, you know, what do you think about...
Like, because I don't have, I don't have any skin in the game with Mamdani. Like, I don't, I don't know if he's good or bad or anything. I don't live, you know, I'm just here part-time working. But somebody complained that it's because of Mamdani that their snow banks weren't clear. I'm like, there's no, when there's a blizzard, there's never, you can't clear all the snow. Yeah, where do you want them to put it?
Yeah. Well, you got to, being the mayor of New York is the worst job in America. Yeah. Because everyone's just mad at you no matter what you do. Right, for sure. For sure. It's a historical big L. I would never do it, although I might. Have you ever had somebody that... Uh-oh. Have you ever had somebody... Talk about breaking. I would only do it as a joke and then I would accidentally win, like, you know who, our boy. Yeah, yeah. Like, whoopsies, I'm the mayor now. Just trying to sell a book. What, has anybody come on and not had a take and then you had to say, all right, well, I'll do one. Well, didn't you go through the vetting process, Jason? Yes. Yeah, yeah, I was given a heads up and, but...
You know, I'm a professional. I came prepared. Don't you have some of these people come on and just like, yeah, I couldn't think of anything. Should I see if Jason Bateman had any other ones that we didn't use? Yeah. Did I pitch you some? I don't know. Let me check my email. So they go to someone on my team. Yeah. And then I don't, it's like somebody approves that they're good. Right. And then. Like just some Gen Z kid? Yeah, pretty, literally. Literally young lads. What's the last one you disagreed with?
Oh, dude, I don't know. I don't know. What are you doing, one a week? No, we post one a day. No, what? I post one a day. So then you're doing one a day to keep up with the output. No, I'll shoot like 10 in one day.
And it's really a miserable day. It's an awful day. I'm like a real working blue-collar guy. I'm underground all day. I'm sweating, or it's too cold, or it's too hot, or the train's not working, or somebody's friend stabbed me. Don't you find that, am I just an introvert? Am I just an introvert that needs to refill my talk tank a lot? Or does everybody go through sort of like a social exhaustion like me sometimes? How do you not run out of being...
you know chatty by doing 10 episodes in a day how do you keep it going like that well I've got a thought on this which is always you know when you go and you do interviews and stuff and doing what we do and you have to go and talk shows and when I realized that I don't have stuff to talk about it's because I haven't been out in the world and so a lot of people we know including us whatever spend these times in this world and we're not out in bubbles and you're not engaged in a real way and about 50 years ago I would say like I gotta like I want to experience life and that's why I'm always on the move and doing shit I swear to god I know how boring that to break so you're out there walking around with your fucking hands tucked in your pockets just like squinting around One hand. Just soaking it all in. Hey, good morning, man. How you doing? Have a good day, huh? No, I'm serious. I'm not saying that I'm more down to earth or anything. What I'm saying is that I realize that you have to get out there. Sean and I have talked about this a number of times. And Jason, you're a lost cause because you're at home or in the golf course. And so like, that's okay. How the fuck would you have anything to talk about? I could fill you in on what MSNOW's new programming strategies are. No, but it is true. I think that there is something to that, right? Just being engaged. I don't care who you are. Just being engaged in the world. Having stuff to say. I get it. Yeah. Is that true, Karim? Is that your fuel?
No, I mean, I'm having fun. Like, I really am having a lot of fun. I have such a fun job. Both of my jobs. You're great at it. Hanging out with cab drivers, hanging out with people like you guys. Like, it is the... I'm...
blessed as a person. Like I have the best job in the world and everything that I've done thus far has been totally independent. So I, I really have no notes. I have no development. I have, I'm just doing the fun part of the job, which is the making of it. And that's all I do. And it's, it's really amazing. And I have a lot of, that's how we feel. Amen. What would, what would five years from now look like if it continued on this, on this angle of success? Uh, what, what is your, what's your, what's your hope for, uh, where things go, um, with this? Like to, well, go ahead. I really don't know. I mean, I'm kind of just playing it by here.
Just upgrading the train line. Or gondolas, yachts, you know, Leo DiCaprio's yacht, I could just have a permanent spot on there. That could be fun. You could talk to him for 10 episodes. I could, yeah. Well, no, I talked to his wonderful guests. I'm sure you guys have been on his yacht. But I imagine, yeah, I kind of go, Jay, what you were saying, which is like, you do have, I love that you did identify, what you...
term as hanging out is actually engaging with people and talking. Yes, and being curious. And that's what you like to do, and that's what you're good at, and you're curious, and you do have a point of view on a lot of stuff, which is great and interesting. And so, I guess, with the next, the evolution of that is taking that and going, and you talk to cab drivers and doing the thing, taking me where you want to go, then talking to people on the subway, and then would it be kind of going broader, going around the world, engaging with people in different cultures? I mean, I imagine you'd be really good at that. Exposing all of us to other parts of the world and other cultures of people. Yeah, that's a great idea. We need that. But, you know, Keep the Meter Running feels like a Bourdain-esque, like people have said, this reminds me of Bourdain. And Subway takes, it reminds a lot of people.
of a talk show like Fallon or Seth Meyers or whatever. So like, I kind of get to play in both worlds and that's really cool. We're doing a live show for Subway Takes Live, which is really fun and interesting to me. How would that work? People come and do what you did, except it's like, it's like the audience is giving the takes and then it's like a panel. Like it would be us four on stage and people would walk up to a mic and say, Oh, that's cool.
And then we would all go, no, you're an idiot, blah, blah, blah, blah. Have there ever been some dust-ups there on the train? Because I remember, you know, we were just, we were riding on, we didn't have a shooting permit or anything like that. We were just on the train. Cameras were rolling, a couple of cameras, and these, you know, two guys holding these weird mics and talking, and somebody might be recognizable. And have you ever had, like, a weird subway passenger, like, bother you and your guest? Not with anyone, like, with anyone famous. It's always a pleasure to see, like, Woody Harrelson was literally kind of...
took over the train car and he started interviewing other people. And there were all these people like, and he was just surrounded by people and just putting this mic in their faces and asking them questions and really creating a circus like in the car and everyone loved him. We'll be right back. All right, back to the show. The timing of that concept and you and doing all of this is really great because we're at an apex of people wanting to connect again. And so it probably has a lot to do with that. And the lost art of conversation, too. Everyone's kind of getting all their itches scratched just online and with their own little devices. They're not talking to people. And that's why I always think that the 100% agree, 100% disagree. There's no middle for me. And it is really kind of like an exploration of what it means to 100% disagree but still have a funny, casual, engaging conversation.
personally, don't really have that many opinions. Like, I'm pretty mellow. But in the show, it's like, it's a challenge for me to be like, well, here's why I disagree. But it's kind of a showcase that you can, yeah, like, have fun doing this. But there was one funny thing. It was like a regular episode that I was filming. And there was a passenger on the train filming us film, which was completely fine. Like, great. This other guy on the train slapped the phone out of that guy's hand and then kicked it across the car all the way to the other side. And then...
that guy that got his phone slapped out of his hand looks at me and he's like, I'm so sorry, dude. And I'm like, why? And he's like, your bouncer just kicked the phone out of my hand. And I was like, that's not my bouncer. That's just a crazy guy that for some reason decided that you shouldn't film me. And there was like this confusion where everyone was kind of pointing at each other. Like whose bodyguard is that? Or like, do you guys know each other? No one knew each other. It was really funny and like confusing, but that's the closest call. Did the guy who slapped it, did he ever explain his position as to why he did it? No, he would just yell something about like Jesus and walked away. Oh, that makes sense. That tracks.
Wait, but I wanted to ask Will. Will and Sean, what would your take be? If you were on the show and I said, what's your take, what would your take be? Well, we know Sean's. Something about rickshaws. Oh, yeah. Sean said the rickshaw. Yeah, yeah. Willie, what's... About New York? No, no. One of mine is that I think that the dancing part of the wedding is the worst part. I didn't even do it. It should be dinner.
I didn't dance with my wife on our own wedding because I hate dancing so much. I didn't know that. I don't know that. Is that true? Yeah. Jason, at that moment, it's not about you. I'm so uncomfortable dancing. I know it, but I just, I told her early on. That is profoundly unkind. I know, but I just, I couldn't do it. I'm calling Amanda today and I'm going to take her out dancing. Yeah, go for it. I encourage you. Go for it. Please. I encourage it. That's so, that's a hard line. But I was saying not at your own wedding, Jason. Yeah, you're saying at any wedding.
Like, it should just end at dinner. Like, you just go have a great night, everyone. Like, thanks for coming to the wedding. I 100% agree with that. And then it's always a forced thing. The DJ's, like, playing, like, Little John and the Eastside Boys from, like, 2002. And you're, like, dun-dun-dun-dun-dun. And no one wants to be there. And, yeah. So that's, like, or, like, I have another one, which is that I think, and this one I think will be problematic, but, like, I don't like street art and graffiti. And I would rather just look at, like, nice, beautiful buildings. Okay. Yeah. But a lot of people are going to get mad at me for that. Really? People are great defenders of graffiti? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Street art, graffiti. Aside from the people that actually do it. You're saying people that just observe it are big fans of it?
I think so. I think there's a cohort of people that think that it's nice. I enjoy it. I have too many, but all of mine get me in trouble. All of mine are terrible. First of all, I think I should be deputized to be able to give out, just to the parking part of the police department, I'd love to give out tickets. I'd love to give out tickets and also moving vehicle tickets. And I also think that we should be able to report when like, you know, like when like the cops would do a great job, but when they pull people over and then they obstruct traffic and it's unnecessary. Yeah, they don't need to hang out into the other lane. I mean, I guess they're doing that to protect themselves as they're up at the window, but why don't you go around to the passenger window and then you don't have to hang out on a freeway or anything. I mean, like on a regular street, especially in New York, you know, when you're in New York, but although I'm.
So I don't want to criticize NMPT because I do. It's a rough, tough job. It would be nice if they deputized us to give out maybe three citizen tickets for moving violations a month. So you can't abuse it. Just get three. The three most egregious things you see when you're driving, you're allowed to put the little Kojak light on top of your car and go get them. I think it would be nice if you could also get Sean's, like if Sean wanted to ticket the loud rickshaw guys.
We should all be active citizens. We all have phones. We're taping people anyway. We might as well be able to use it. But then I thought about it. Here's the flip of it. I was thinking about this yesterday. And then I'm like, how many yellows have I squeezed while driving through an intersection? And I'm not immune from it myself. And so then I kind of walked it back. But I have so many takes on shit. Wait, there's two that I just don't have. One is, I don't know if this is a fake post on Instagram or not, but I read that New York is looking into making a law. Looking into making a law.
to traffic the sidewalks like they do the streets, so that fast people walkers walk on the left, which I think is really a great idea. Especially in New York, when people stop in the middle of the street and you're like, hey man, and also, or people walk four wide on a sidewalk, so you can't get around people. If you're a group of more than two, you have to go kind of two by two, kind of single file. Here's my hot take, here's what I think. If you want to post anything on the internet, comment, whatever, anything.
We have to know your name, your address, your phone number. No anonymous. No anonymous anymore. And I think that that would, I think it would change the world immediately. Everybody, you have to, there is a record, and we know that they can do it because, you know, things like the blockchain where you can trace absolutely everything where you know. So if we applied that same logic to that, so you can't go onto anything, you can't make any comment. You can, but we know your name, your address, your phone number. And by that, we'll be able to decipher where you work, who your family is, all that sort of stuff. And you are held, so that, because if I make a comment, everybody knows who I am. And so then I get,
I get held up to this crazy high standard that everybody else is not held up to. But wait, here's my other take is Jason commented on me the other night when we were at dinner that when you order a dessert for yourself and then the waitress comes over with spoons for everybody at the table and you're like, wait, no, everybody passed on ordering dessert. I ordered dessert and when offered, everybody else is like, no, I'm good, I don't want any dessert. And then everybody spoons the shit out of your fucking dessert. Good take. Get your own dessert. Good take.
If you did not opt in, you don't get a spoon. Unless it was specified, bring us the sundae and bring everybody a spoon. That's right. Otherwise, no. Don't get a spoon. Shout out to Odeon. Remember we had that? So we did have that the other night at the Odeon. I started because I said, I want to get a sundae. And it was like, ooh, and I go.
Everybody gets your own dessert. You're not fucking... That's right. That's right. You almost have to announce it. This is my treat this weekend. You have to announce it. That's so funny. Dipping in the fucking butterscotch. And Jason was like, don't get the donuts. I got two orders of donuts. Fucking his face is buried in the bowl. I had six of them. Now, Kareem, with all of this really cool, very well-deserved success, what has changed in your, I'm presuming, very sort of...
Down to earth, man of the people, life. What have you, have you, Will joked earlier that you- Like upgraded your air conditioner? Right. Or is it still taped to the window in red tape? Oh, don't worry about it. Well, that's another, that's another big take that I have when I was installing this. I was like, it is shocking that they let me do this in New York. And if I'm taping mine, that means that they're, and then I started looking around. There's like people that their air conditioners are being held up by books. Some people have a little piece of book. And I'm like, there's not a standard processing. I agree, I agree. There's a guy over there that has like a couple of textbooks. I can see, I'm like,
And it's so scary because now I can't walk around New York City without thinking about my own self putting in my air conditioner. And you guys obviously see how good of a job I've done. I know. I remember, Kareem, the first time I put an air conditioner in my window in New York and thinking, this is... freaking lunacy. This thing can go at any time. I just did this. I'm an idiot. And this thing is going to fall on somebody and kill somebody. And it's not like the windows are nice. The windows are flimsy. The windows are flimsy windows. They're made out of saran wrap, essentially. And it's just terrifying. And there's no screws. None of this. There's no tools. This is just like the windows holding in. So you haven't gone to mainstream air conditioning. What have you treated yourself to?
I mean, I, there's a lot less anxiety in my life about what I'm supposed to be doing for a living. And that is really scary because I also started doing this when I was 33, which is later than many people, like many comedians or these social media kids, you know, they start when they're like 22, 21, 25. They were in their college improv group. Like, so to start at 33 and take like this massive vet and then have it work out, it's shocking. And every day I'm just like, it's dope. It's dope. It's not shocking. It's not shocking. You're a smart guy. You are really funny. And I, do you refer to yourself as it when people say, what do you, you don't say creator, do you?
No, no, no, no. I say entertainer. Because I also make food. I wrote a movie, produced it, starred in it. That's out on MUBI. I make music. What's that called? I'm in a rock and roll band. The movie's called Or Something. Or Something, okay. And it's a feature film. It's my first feature film. And we can find that where? On MUBI. M-U-B-I. M-U-B-I, okay. I want to ask whether to... Do I have MUBI? And then you say you're in a band too? No. Yeah, I'm in a rock and roll band called Tiny Gun. That's amazing. Are you singing? Are you drumming? Are you guitaring?
I sing. Yes. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's kind of like a punk, like Pixies. Yeah, we love Pixies. The Pixies meets The Strokes kind of situation. Yeah, that's cool. Speaking my language. Yeah, give us a listen. It's Tiny Gun.
Hondo people. Last year we played Outside Lands at Newport Folk Festival. It was really fun. Do you guys hear those sirens? Yeah, it's hard not to. That's a ticket. It's Sean. It's Will and Sean. Sean on his rickshaw. It's Jason Bateman on his motorcycle. I'm so, honestly, I'm so inspired by how much different stuff you do and how many creative swings you take at once. I think it's awesome. I think that that is, you're doing the very thing that I was talking about that I wish I could do more. You're taking chances and you're engaging in life in such an awesome way. I think it's dope as hell. There's some cultural relevance and help to it. It's amazing.
Yeah, it's really cool. You guys are, that feels like, it's such a compliment coming from you guys. No, but you're not catering to the lowest common, like you're trying to do something, not necessarily sort of worthy in the sense of like, you know, helping humanity, but you are in a way, you are sort of engaging and keeping conversation going and provoking thought and just, I don't know, I think it's really rad. Bringing folks together. It's that classic playing at the top of your intelligence situation, which I feel like because so many people are not doing that, I was like, let me just...
be a little bit different and try to be the smartest version of what this thing limits you to, which is a phone, tiny screen, vertical. Like, let me try to do the smartest thing possible. Yeah, and you're not prancing around in a Speedo. You know what I mean? You don't want to see me in a Speedo. And selfishly, you're giving us ding-dongs that are like promoting stuff this really great, fun, creative stop on our press tours to go talk to folks. Yeah, I want to have you guys on. I want to have all three of you on at the same time. But here's the thing. Jason did it. I want to do, just to one-up him, obviously, double up. Of course.
Double app. Four minutes. No, let's get you out. Let's get you next time you're in New York. I'm there. I'll be there. All the time. I live there half the time. Great. Then I will do it literally anytime. Like, I'll step out of the house. Can we take the 1-9? Is that okay? Yeah, I was going to say, what would be your subway? What the hell is that? You know, like, what do they call it? The 1-9? It used to be the 1-9 on the west side. You know, the red line. I've never been over there. Really? I'm an east side guy. We can do the east side too. It's like, no, no, I'll come to you. I'll come to you. No, we'll take the 6. That's fine. No, no, no, I'll come to you. But fuck it. I'll take the F. I don't give a shit. Wait, I also want
Going back, I don't want to flute my own horn, toot my own horn, toot my own flute. I don't want to toot my own flute. But I want to say this here in case anyone from the Emmy, what are they called, the Academy? Yeah, Subway Tix is going for an Emmy. Is it? Okay. So for your consideration, for your consideration, Subway Tix. Wait, but it's got to be on the telly. I love that. I love that you just said that. No, they have little ones now. Tiny Emmys? Tiny Emmys for your boy. Isn't that called a Webby?
No, it's the Creative Arts Emmy. You can get a Creative Arts Emmy for, like, short form. Yeah, online. Yeah, like, you know who submits a lot? Like, carpool karaoke is a winner of that category. Or the dude with the hot wings? Yes, Sean Evans from Hot Wings. So, okay, so, Kareem, to be clear, if you happen to be listening to this and you are a voter in the Television Academy, please watch, please check out Kareem's show and consider. Thank you. And then what time are you going to listen to? I'm still out here doing this. I'm still out here shilling for myself. I love it. No one else is going to do it. Good for you, man. I have this opportunity.
I want to see you guys there, first of all. And when we see each other there, we should hug. Oh, at the Emmys? Yeah. Before the Emmys, we're going to hug like hell. Yeah.
Let's all hug. That's a phrase, right? Hug, I want to hug you like hell. I want to hug you like hell. Oh, that was a really good take about men is that we haven't standardized our creeding. So, like, I might go up to Will with a hand up in the air like, what's good, man? I'm good to see you. I might extend a hand to Jason and then he's, and it's confusing or a hug, Sean. And it's, yeah, and it's really confusing. We need a standard. My buddy years ago, Ali Farnakian, used to say, you always start Road to the White House, which is just a handshake, and then anywhere you want to go after that. But you always start Road to the White House. This is good advice. So you extend the hand. Always extend the hand. It's called Road to the White House. You open to get a cold hand. And then wherever you want. Okay, this is good. I always loved it.
You should consider driving a cab. That's really good. That's kind of cab driver advice. Hey, man, it might get to that. Kareem, we are thrilled to have you. We love you. We root for you. We're watching you. Keep it going, my friend. Thank you guys so much. This was really, really fun. And I appreciate you guys letting me be on your show. Seriously. I'll see you. We'll see you on the show. I'll see you on the show. I'll see you on the show. I can't wait for it. Thanks, Kareem. Bye, guys. Thank you. Have a good day. Thank you so much for having me. Shaking your hand. Goodbye. Digital shake.
There he goes. Kareem Rama. He's good. He's so good. Kareem Rama, yeah, dude. Really great, dude. I love it. Sean, he didn't invite you on the show. Yeah, I noticed that right there at the end. I think he's worried about your safety. I think that that was it. By the way, I've never rode on the subway. Hang on a second. I'm trying to do my, I can't believe that face. I'm trying to, hang on. Sean, that's true, isn't it? That is very true, yeah. Is that really true? Never once on the subway in New York City. I mean, if I did, maybe once 25 years ago, I don't remember it. It's not on purpose? It just hasn't happened? I just don't feel, I'd just rather take a cab. Oh, so it is on purpose? Yeah, oh yeah, it's totally on purpose. I don't even know how they work. I don't even know where
I will give you, it is a hack because you spend a lot more time in New York these days. If you have to, it can save so much time. With your navigation app, like Waze or Google Maps or Apple, whatever it is, you can just say, you know, how do I get there via walking, via car, or via subway? And then when you hit the subway, it'll give you a little map how to walk to the subway, what to do. But it's overwhelming to me because there's, aren't there like 75,000? But it tells me why. It'll tell you what to do. If you don't know it, it'll tell you what to do. And I'm telling you, you can save yourself hours of being stuck in a freaking car. It's so good. And it's so safe. It's great. It is great.
All right. We'll do it together because I love riding on him. We'll do it next time I'm there. We'll hold hands all the way through it. But you guys should check out those two shows. Very good. Yeah, I will. I've seen a couple of his clips on Instagram and they're always funny and engaging. Like you said, Jason, it's really interesting that he started, well, you both said it, that he started something out of like, you know, who would have thought that just conversation would be...
interesting people. Well, I will say this. I think that there probably are, Sean, a lot of people who think like, hey, I'm interesting and I could just do, I'm going to do a talk show or I'm going to do a thing. And the truth was that he did have an actual talent for it and that he is an engaging person. And he's very authentic and real. Very authentic. Yeah, you know exactly. That's the key. Yeah, you just know who he is. And I bet he could do it. He could probably take it on the road. He could go overseas. He could do it. He could definitely do one in Egypt because he was born in Egypt. So I would assume that he is by England. Oh, very good. By England. Smart.
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