LeMent Tonight for August 14, 2025

This Week Welcome to LeMent Tonight, where host Bob welcomes comedian Cali Haan from Clean Mic. After some initial technical difficulties, the show kicks off with Cali's humorous anecdotes about her experiences, including being bullied by a coworker who resembles a hippie and her interactions at a sober support group. Cali shares her unique job as a forest fire lookout, detailing the challenges she faces with remote living and the monotony of her observations. The conversation shifts to her comedy career, particularly her involvement in Zoom comedy, which has become a platform for those with mobility or financial constraints. Throughout the show, Cali engages in comedic banter with Bob and the audience, discussing various topics and even participating in a game where they riff on words related to their assigned characters. The show wraps up with encouragement for Cali's comedic journey and a humorous reflection on her life experiences. Cali Haan https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OoFLbwtKMSs Bad AI Transcript Hey, everybody. Welcome to Lament Tonight. You can all dance. Tonight's guest is Callie Hahn from Clean Mic on Thursdays at 11 o'clock Pacific here on Plausible. And I guess we'll get right toWelcome, everybody. Now we have some difficulties here for a couple minutes, but everything's working now. But not to the satisfaction of at least one audience member. But that's okay, right? There's no big deal. We're not going to let that ruin our night, are we? No? Everybody is so lively. I can't believe it. So Callie Hahn is here from Clean Mic. Callie and Kim do the Clean Mic show each week or almost each week. We'll put it that way, right? And Callie, why don't you go ahead and I'll bring you up on stage here. Thanks, Bob. Let's do the…Let's do some bits here. Hey,Super to see you. My name's Callie. I'm from Canada. And some nights you are so sexy, yeah? Young men stare at you left and right. You finish your piece of pizza, throw out the plate and realize, oh, those guys just wanted my pizza. Okay, cool. True story. True story. Let's get real right away. How about that? Yeah. I'm getting bullied at work. I'm getting bullied at work by a hippie. Yeah. I'm getting bullied by a guy that looks like Jesus. Okay. He's like, he's like, forgive them father, but never forgive Callie. You know, It's so weird when your enemy is a hippie because I thought my enemy was the man. I'm basically a hippie. I just have good taste. I try to turn the situation around. I say, hey man, the cosmos. Hey man, lava lamp. He just stares at me with long hair hate andUm, I think he wants to kick me too, but he only wears sandals. So who cares? Anyways, um, I even tried to apologize, but he hates it when I say words. So I try to say less and less words, even less and less letters. Like I say, hi, bye, huh, but you know, do you think that'll work? anyway also I got problems at my support group, at my sober support group is a mean lady, Linda, who hates me, but the support group gives free coffee and muffins. So I keep going back, you know and I know Linda hates me because if I speak again if I speak she digs her fingers into her muffin so hard. that it breaks. Yeah. So for a while I felt so bad inside. I was like, sorry, Linda. No, sorry, sorry, sorry. But then one day I was like, Oh, wait a minute. What makes you so great, Linda? Like everyone here crappy, you know? So, so then I had so much, uh, support group coffee. I felt suicidal, homicidal, but not towards Linda. No, I wanted toMurder the coffee. Yeah. And then I prayed. Yeah, I prayed. I prayed for Linda. I said, dear God, please make Linda relapse so she doesn't come anymore. Yeah, and Linda switched groups, so cool. And now I eat Linda's muffin because that's what God wants, clearly. Yeah, I wish my enemies knew I'm so, so very spiritual, you know, like don't you miss those old school Jesus days when everything was a miracle, you know, like in one story, such a beautiful story, all the fishes lined up by the beach. And they had their heads sticking out of the water. And they were lined up from shortest to tallest. So in the front was little minnows all the way back to big whales. And they were gathered to hear St. Francis speak about divine love. Today the fish are dead in a McDonald's sandwich. Today the fish are sticks. Yeah, they're fish sticks. Yeah.Mmm, delicious. Okay, thank you. That's my set, and I'm rocking it back to Bob. All right. Thank you, Callie. Hey, very good job. I was thinking for a minute that maybe you were referring to one fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish instead of Jesus, but it could be your Bible. I don't know. Maybe it is Dr. Seuss. But thank you very much. That was fantastic. Yeah, thank you. Well, that's nice that you compared it to Dr. Seuss. What an honor. Yeah, I'm trying to dumb it down like that much. Oh my goodness. That's funny. So we'll have a quick commercial and we'll be right back here with Callie. Callie can tell us some more stuff, okay? Here, watch this. It may be familiar.supposed to be making noise, but apparently it's not goingAnd it's backwards. That's even better.Should we narrate it? Yes, Bob. No, no. Yes.have to do this guy, Will. Traffic is bad. It's real bad. Traffic's bad.why you need clean comedy. AI is going to take over the world, but not tonight, apparently. That's right. I did that about 15 minutes ago and it's backwards and you can't hear it. So that's all good. It'll get funnier. Well, so Callie, I, I, I don't know you extremely well, but I have been on, let's see, where was I at? You and I were on something together and I felt not, I don't know if you, maybe you were doing a bit or not. I took it that this is really true, but you work for the forestry service of some kind. I do. Yeah. I'm working now as a lookout observer. I am a forest fire lookout. Yeah. Yeah. I, I believe that. And then tonight, whenever I was getting, you know, doing that crappy AI thing, I'm like, wait a minute. Maybe she was not, maybe she was just being funny. No, that's real.Because you were in the tower whenever you were doing the thing here and you were in the tower and you're like, wait a minute, I have to go look for a fire. Yeah. So how does one, well, unfortunately in Canada right now, there are fires in the forest that have been happening for a while. So how does one get to be A forest fire lookout person. It's not that hard because it's not that popular. There's not like a big test or anything? No, no. They kind of, yeah, they make it idiot proof. They have to be idiot proof. Because I'm up here for four months straight by myself. Are you there now? Yeah, I'm still there now. Oh, okay. Well, I couldn't tell because your background was different from the last time I saw you. This is my Italian terrace background. Oh, wow. What you do is you hide the doorknob with a rose. Oh. That's the doorknob. I didn't even realize until now you pointed that out. So how do you get Wi-Fi up there?It's cool. We have like super… I have like some kind of super power Wi-Fi satellite situation. Oh, okay. Like Skylake or whatever? Yes. Oh, my. Normally it goes out a lot, but this year I haven't had it out at all. Oh, wow. So it's getting better then. Yeah. So you beat out the competition for this job to be a fire lookout. Now… how thick is the training pamphlet for this job? How much did you have to study? They actually did do a good training course. I did like an eight day training course. Wow. Eight days. A town called Hinton. Industrial town. And, uh, in Northern Alberta. Well, maybe middle Alberta basically, but might as well be Northern. And, uh, yeah, it's good to go to thick binder, uh,And you learn, so you have to basically tell weather and you just have to have, you have to be obsessive, I guess. That's one quality because you obsessively stare at the land. But this year has been incredibly wet and cloudy. So like half of the time, my lookout has been enshrouded in clouds. Oh, really? Not much I can see. So then what, what do you, what's the notation for the day? Can't see? Oh, It's called Obscured. Obscured. Yep. That's good. That could be the name of your band while you're up there. You got a harmonica and you can start recording some music as Obscured. Yeah, it's kind of like my jokes too. So you have a lot of time to think, I'm guessing. Too much. Because you're, I mean, you don't get to go home at night. You're just there.Yeah. I get helicopter food once a month. And that's, I see people like for 10 minutes. Yeah. What, so what comes in the care package? What kind of goodies do you get as part of this gig? Well, actually I bought, well, it's all me like, no, well, whatever I give myself, Bob. Oh, you get to order it. Yeah. I gave myself these Lego flowers. Oh, I love those. We actually have some of those at home. Those are very good. Yeah, because they don't die. Yeah. Will cannot believe it's a Lego. I can see in his eyes. Do you believe it? I'm like, I would have had for Popeye's chicken, but anyway. Unlimited. Unlimited. You're thinking about the food drop. That's all that's in your mind, Will. Yes.So do you get to make your grocery list then? Do you type it in? Yeah, you do on an online platform right now. Right now I don't have a lot of food actually and I'm kind of mad. I'm pretty mad about it. Do they give you a budget for this or do you just get whatever you want? I pay for the food. What? What? I told you it's not popular. So you're buying your own food remotely and you're paying outrageous Instacart fees to get it flown in. No, no, no. I'm not paying for the helicopter. Oh, okay. Good. Thank God. Yeah. Well, that's interesting. I would assume that they would pay for the food to be honest with you. Yeah. That would be good. Maybe you would assume that as well when you signed up and then it didn't happen and you're like, well. The government's not waste. Like somebody asked me, oh, you're going to get it....