Static Radio

Bob gets chastised for trying to buy Miles a hat, while Miles starts his weekend singing at 7 am. GAMES, like old school games, play a few with the Static Radio twist here – https://www.staticradio.com/category/games/ Subscribe Random Show Click Below https://youtube.com/live/8iQ-ezco4u8 Bob gets chastised for trying to buy Miles a hat, while Miles starts his weekend singing at 7 am. Ethical Gift Bad AI Transcript Just you inferring something. I don’t think that that’s anything real. I think it’s got everything to do with you. It does. I’m sorry. Uh, Miles with uh a thing called static Radio. Hey Miles, how are you? I am reclined. That’s probably what the problem is with all your phlegm, is you’re laying down practically. If you’d sit up, it would all, you know you all your drainage would be proper. Well, you seem to know a lot about drainage. know what that’s supposed to mean, but You were bragging about it earlier. I was bragging about drainage? Yeah, you’re like, I don’t drain all right it’s my esophageal cancer. Yeah, it sounds like it. I think put that shut out you know like it’s like you’re uhfour pack a day smoker or something over there. I feel like i just smoked a blunt man like man it’s all cashed out goodness gracious i love it i love how in tune miles is with everything. He asked me a question tonight. How long you been doing this thing? It’s like, I don’t know, three years? I just was interested. I wanted to ask a question, and you answered it. You’re like, honey, when did we switch from butter to margarine? I don’t know, 20 years ago? Why did we have to decaf? I didn’t realize. Things like that have happened in my life. How come I’m wearing diapers and not underwear anymore? And this isn’t our home. You get back in your room now. I’m not your wife, idiot. This is not my beautiful wife. So yeah, you may ask yourself.And so then we got on this whole thing where I show him all these social media posts that I’ve been doing that he is not aware of. I am on social media somewhat, but I kind of… I think I post them on TikTok somewhere too. I don’t know. You’re not on TikTok. I am on TikTok. You barely post bullshit. Okay. Bye. Lies, lies and more lies. And then i’m making little uh like 8-bit games on the website and and i mean you know it’s a whole thing. I’m having fun. I, okay. I didn’t know. So, enjoy people, enjoy. Games. Yeah, little fun, little, you know, silly games. Yep. That usually involve… Tic-tac-toe. I could do a tic-tac-toe if you want. If you want. Usually involve our characters in some way, shape, or form. Me melting. You what? Me melting in every cartoon. Oh, you melting. Yeah, the cartoons have you melting. I think that’s funny. I don’t know. I think people find…You as a snowman melting funny. You know, that would not have been my first pick as a character. Well, unfortunately, you didn’t know how to do anything, and so I picked it. No, that’s okay. I think it’s a very apropos character for you. I guess. I don’t know if it would be my first choice for myself. You have a very large round head. Right. You have a very prominent nose. Correct. And you wear a Bears memorabilia and jerseys and that stuff all the time. That’s what the snowman has. And I have a jelly belly. Yeah. I mean, I did make you, if you recall, you were on a Bears playing card as your character. Yeah. You like that one. Well, if it’s tastefully done, I don’t want to be embarrassed. Yeah.I try to, you know, each time I try to go back and forth to where, you know, I’ll get your goat, then you’ll get my goat, you know what I mean? I don’t be eating tacos in the car, for instance. I thought that was funny. Inappropriate. You read a little bit too much into everything, I think. I am reading a lot into these cartoons. Yeah. I feel very uncomfortable watching these with you for half an hour. This is weird, dude. This is weird. I try to make them interesting. I mean, to some degree, I’m glad you’re a quote-unquote friend of mine, I suppose. Oh, God. Sometimes I feel very uncomfortable with it, too. You know what I’m saying? Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I don’t know.You figure it out. Yeah, eating in the car. It’s like a thing. There’s all these videos of people eating in a car. I thought it wouldn’t be funny if our characters were eating in a car. This guy sends me chocolates on Valentine’s Day and stuff. I’m getting weird with it, man. I’m like, I don’t know. This is like crossing the line. The only thing I send you is postcards, which, by the way, you’ve got your postcards from my latest trip. I did. Yeah. And I sent you a postcard from the place that you suggested. Yes. I said, thank you. Now the, the funny thing behind that is I actually was going to get you a gift. Yeah. So we went, we were in Charleston, South Carolina recently. This is called a segue by the way, everyone. And, uh,And you had recommended, you said you should go see the Hunley. Well, that’s totally up everybody’s alley who was on the trip, right? We love these historical things. And for those of you who don’t know what the Hunley is, the Hunley was the first submarine. Correct. Successful battle. And it blew up a ship. It did. Yeah. I can’t remember the name of the ship now. The Constitution. No, was it the Constitution? The Chattahootook. Yeah. So anyway, it was a Chappaquiddick. I think they blew it up. A lot of people drowned. No one’s fault. But the, the guys who, the funny thing is, and that’s not funny in any way, shape or form, actually two people, two sets of people died in the submarine. That’s correct. One, when they were testing it, they killed everybody. And then they actually had a successful mission.And blew up a Union ship. So they were the Confederates made the submarine. So it was a Confederate submarine. And they blew up a Union ship. And then they were successful. Everybody knew they were successful. And then somehow they died on the way back. Yeah. So kind of a mixed, yeah. Yeah, a little bit. It was good and bad. And then… Apparently, at that point, everybody’s like, you know what? We can’t get any more volunteers to go on these goddamn submarines, so we’re going to scrap this idea. Anyway, they found it, and it’s preserved at a naval base in Charleston, South Carolina. You can go see it, and you get to see all this interesting history about it and so forth. We went, and I got your postcard. I mentioned that. I’m in the gift shop, andwe always get a magnet, so we have a magnet, and i got a postcard, and i told my wife i’m like i’m gonna get miles something. You know, he was really hyped on this thing i want to i want to get him something, and i go, I thought about getting you a t-shirt. Yeah. And I’m like, no, I don’t, you know i i I don’t know what size he is. I’m not going to try to figure this shit out. Because if I get it too big, he’s going to be crying. And if I get it too small, he’s going to be crying. Bob went to South Carolina and all I got was this lousy t-shirt. Yeah. So I found there was this hat and it said the Hunley dive team. Right. And I go, I thought I might get him that Hunley dive team hat. And she goes, no.No, you’re not getting him a stupid hat. You’re getting him a postcard and that is it. That is it. I’ve had it. Yeah. So she would not get you. She’s like, he’ll never wear it. You’ll pay all this money to get it to him and it’ll sit or he’ll lose it. And I’m not paying for it. He knows me too well. That’s the funny part. Then I go, okay, well, I’ll get him a couple of, I got you extra postcards. You did? Yeah. And so, yeah. Now, the story that you don’t want to hear that I want to tell because it says a lot. So, we’re at the Hunley. I’m getting postcards and we got, you know, magnet and something else. Oh, we got a book about the whole schmear.A book that you’ll never read. It’s just going to sit there. No, there’s a lot of reading going on around here. So anyway, and so then I get the postcard and the lady’s ringing it up and I’m paying for it. And then she goes, oh, do you need a stamp? Nope, I got one. She’s like, what? She’s like digging around the register looking for stamps. She’s like, what? I go, yeah, yeah, I got a stamp. She goes, okay. That’s unusual. Yeah, exactly. And then she go, and then so she didn’t put them in the, in the bag, you know, putting everything in the bag. She goes, you need a pen? No, no, I got a pen. Oh, she goes, what? Are you always this prepared? I go, yes, I am.See, I’m a friend with this mental case out in the Midwest, and we’re both mentally ill, and I send him postcards, and he enjoys them. That’s right. He’s mentally disabled. Yeah, he usually has coloring books I give him, but I send him postcards, too. They did have a coloring book. I thought about getting you one of those. You’re not doing it, because he’s going to lose it, or he’s going to… I would agree with your wife. I’m sorry to interrupt, but I agree with your wife. She made the right call on that. Well, because you were so excited about us being able to go. I’m so happy you saw it. And it was really, you know, the funny thing is, and I don’t know if people know this, but anyway, there’s an author, his name is Clive Cussler. He writes books, if you look him up. He found the Hunley. He’s the one that found it and brought itto the surface, and then it’s actually not on the surface because it’s in such bad shape. It was a wooden, I don’t know, it was a metal, but it’s all rusted out and stuff. It had been on the floor of the ocean for quite some time. Anyway, so it’s in a tank, so it doesn’t degrade anymore in water. But you can look at it. You look down at it. Anyway, he had a lot of books. Raise the Titanic was one of his books. Sahara. He had a bunch of books. Anyway, and my wife and my father-in-law both loved his books and read all his books. So she was actually going just because it had that connection as well. Right. Well, I’m glad you went. Yeah, no, it was good. It’s not a huge museum. But we actually even went to…the cemetery where all of the, because whenever they brought up the sub, the remains, all the remains from the victims of the two failed voyages of the Hunley are. 16 people, I think. Yeah. So, but anyway, it was an interesting, plus that the cemetery where these people are buried is just fantastic to look at. So, right. Right. I love old cemeteries and weird stuff like that. Yeah. Anyway, um, but no, she would not let me buy you the hunley dive team hat. Yeah. But I really want to get him, get him a postcard. What about a scale model? Do they have that? Maybe that you could have got No, I mean, maybe they had something. I don’t know. Those little things, like a thing in a boat, and you put some baking powder in it and put it in water, it kind of goes up and down. Yeah, no, they don’t have anything like that, no. I would have taken that. Yeah, no. Well, I didn’t think about it. They had some kids’ toys, but none of them were like Hunley toys. Look, Mommy, we’re on the drone. So anyway, I just thought it was funny that she put the kibosh on your…on your present so you got postcards if the tables were turned, yeah, I would not have wasted money. I’d be like, no. Yeah, you wouldn’t even, you wouldn’t, no one’s, we’re not talking about this. Everybody, no, don’t tell bob about we went someplace cool yeah right like It’ll come out naturally, and then I’ll make up a story. Yeah, it’s probably all full of the stars and bars anyway that I get beat up for wearing it, and I’m like, oh, okay. No, no, it wasn’t. No, it was all good. Oh, okay. Yeah. I’m like, yeah, I’m not wearing it. I’m not going to do it. No, no, it just said Hunley Dive Team. It’s like Diver Down, you know, the flag. Yeah. Right, right. Yeah.It wasn’t any Confederacy kind of stuff. Okay. Well, I’m just saying that doesn’t play very well. No, it doesn’t. But it is an interesting display. I mean, I’m not pro-Confederacy or anything. From a certain point of view, I’m just saying. You can’t deny that they made the first combat submarine and blew up a boat. Yeah, I mean, submarine warfare was pretty cool in general. It started right then in the Civil War, exactly. The Nazis made the V-2 rocket, and the technology from that took us to the moon, so go figure. Von Braun. Yeah, Wernher von Braun had a NASA. He was a Nazi. Everybody keeps forgetting this, but anyway. Yeah, they kind of omit that in that one movie where the little kid wants to be like him. Right.Yeah. I’m not going to fall into that, but there’s a bunch of people through history who were the enemy who then created great things for the United States. Yes. Anyhow, what’s going on with you? You enjoy those postcards, mister? I did. I was actually looking through them last night. I got my shoebox out and I’m like, wow, I got a lot. Play a little sappy music. I wanted to arrange them. I decided not to arrange them. I’ll put all the historic ones here. You have a weird thing where you like to coordinate things. I know. I’ve tried to get over that. It’s my semi-autistic brain. I put everything in a line. Yeah. I don’t know. It’s crazy. Were you crying? Were you like, I ain’t going to go. No, I probably will never see it, but I’m glad you went. It’s not that far of a drive. You guys could go. I’m never going to see that. Charleston’s a nice town. I love going to Charleston. I’d go back to Charleston. I can barely afford to go to Illinois. You know what I’m saying? I can’t even. It’s right across the river.I know. I can’t even afford that. I’m like, ah, I got to turn back. Not even a toll bridge or anything for Christ’s sake. I got it for the gas money. You had to go to the next county. I’m like, nah, I’m not going to do that. That’s like $4. Can’t do it. Yeah. Well, that’s too bad. So, I have been having these moral dilemmas. What? Moral dilemma? Yeah, you know, I Last week, there was a lady pouring out her soul at the community store. I thought you were going to come out like as a BTK killer or something, Christ. I killed some people, and I really felt bad about it. I felt bad, and I kept them in my basement for a while. I made them use my bathroom down there. Just like Bob.I don’t know why. I just wake up early on weekends. I don’t have trouble sleeping in. I got up on Saturday early, and it was probably around 7 or so, just a little bit after 7. I was outside. I don’t know why I was outside, but I was outside. Why did you go outside? Did you dress, or did you just go out in your underwear? No. Well, yes and no. I guess I was wearing my sweatpants and my wife beater. Oh, God. That’s what you wear normally. That’s like every day. I go outside like that, so what? Okay. And it was a crisp day, and I was like, oh, okay, nice. I hadn’t gotten hot yet. I’m like, okay, I’m looking around, just taking it all in. And in the distance, I’m hearing Whitney Houston. Really? Which song? No. No.I think it was, I’m saving all my love for you. I think it was. I don’t know how that one goes. I’m saving all my love for you. I like the other one better. Go ahead. Know how the woman is going to love you. And so, like, I hear in the distance, I go, huh, who the fuck? Who’s blaring Whitney Houston? Because I love Whitney Houston. I do love Whitney Houston. Sure. Nobody loves her. I mean, who doesn’t, right? Who doesn’t? Especially CB. Right. Yeah, true enough. And it’s getting closer. And I’m like, where in the hell? You know? And I realize it’s like some dude on an e-bike blaring this thing. He’s got some kind of music box or something with him.Mama’s got a squeeze box she wears on her chest. Yeah, he’s just cruising around like 7.15 in the morning on a Saturday, you know. Saturday! I gotta get me an e-bike. That sounds like fun. Just go around being an asshole like 7 o’clock in the morning. I’d be doing like Sabbath or something. I’d be doing Whitney Houston, you know. Sabbath in the mass. Sabbath in the mass. The beautiful people. The beautiful people. My first impulse was like, turn that fucking shit down. That was my first impulse. But I go, God, I love me some Whitney Houston. I’m like, God, I can’t. I couldn’t bring myself to say that. Yes, that was my moral dilemma. I’m like, man, I love me some Whitney Houston. I just can’t. Well, then you know why he played it. He played it because he loves it as well.You can’t disagree with that. I’m like, ah, why couldn’t it have been, like, new kids on the block or something? I could be angry. Something, you know. No. The right stuff. Yeah, that’s his jam. He’s driving around jamming it. Like, with the balls. You need to get one of those e-bikes. I think so. I think there’s weight restrictions, so… I mean, a lot of people have, like, little scooters and these way e-bikes. I mean, it’s just, like, all over the place now. I think you can handle an e-bike. And people are always bitching them on, like, online. Like, you know, that kid who cut me off. I want you to know that. Like, oh, my God. Enough with the fucking. They’re not reading your posts. I know. They got, like, this stupid gossip page. And it just, it’s all very, you know.to the guy in the red car that cut me off this morning. I just want you to know that I hope you get gone or we don’t die. And I’m like, oh, Jesus Christ. Just make funny little cartoons and don’t read everybody’s stuff. Oh, my God. It’s just like, please, you know, call the cops or something if you don’t like it. He was playing Whitney Houston. There was a fat guy in his pants and a wife being around on his lawn singing Whitney Houston. I want to do that and play like Careless Whisper or something. Go flying around. Yeah. Wham’s greatest hits that you have. Uh-huh. I want to play right round. I just go around, you know, six o’clock in the morning. Right round like a record, baby. Right round. Money dead or alive. I play dead or alive.I don’t know. I guess so. Then someone’s going to yell at me. Turn that shit down. Turn that shit up. It’s six o’clock in the morning, wife beater. I just saw a guy in a sweatpants and a wife beater who thought it was gender bending. I thought it was divine. I don’t know who it was. Drive it around. It was divine after he hit Shoney’s for two days. oh man, the balls, the balls, the doing this like seven o’clock in the morning. No, I think, I think, yeah. So I don’t know why, probably because i mentioned it, but, uh, I get all these e-bike things and they’re like all these, uh, people from china trying to e-bikes direct oh yeah yeah i’m like oh man i’m thinking I, maybe i want to e-bike.Well, it’s not like guys like you, like, you know, millionaires like you. It’s always like these people that, you know, I would guess that they might be on the lower end of whatever, you know. Maybe, yeah, I don’t know. Maybe, I don’t know. Who knows? You know. I just think it’d be fun. They don’t live in some gated community like Bob LeMond, you know. There’s a kid that has one around here and he rides it up and down the… thing, yeah. So they play Village People and stuff. No music whatsoever. Yeah. No music, uh-uh. I think I’d play Kanye or something. There’s one with an e-bike, there’s one with a mini-bike, and then there’s all these people with strollers and things. Those little scooters you stand up and do? No, I haven’t seen any of those. I’d be so afraid I’d wipe out on that. I’d be doing like 20 miles per hour and wipe out and be like…I see a new cartoon coming up. Yeah, yeah. Thank you. It’s a freaking jerk. Hey, Miles, check out my new scooter. The greatest love of all. And then you melt. My road rash. I’m bleeding. Yeah, you’re bleeding. It looks like a red snow cone. Maybe I’m jealous. I don’t know. I don’t know, but I think that should be your goal. I think you get yourself an e-bike and one of those JBL speakers. Well, I don’t know. Can your phone have Bluetooth? I can’t remember. I want to mention this wasn’t like a kid either. This was not a… This was like a grown-ass adult. know it’s like, this was not just some, like, oh, some teeny boppers, some 20 year old. No, this is, this gentleman certainly probably 40s or so maybe, you know? Yeah. Well, I mean, Hey, you gotta have a hobby. I guess being around, being an annoying yeah that is it yeah that’s been your hobby for quite some time. I know. Well, I’ve gotten by with it. Yeah. Why not? People hate me i mean oh wow oh my goodness. Well, maybe someday.Someday. You’re not buying him no e-bike. God damn e-bike. That’s it. I thought the hat was stupid. What have we done for you? What’s with the speaker? Oh, no, you’re not. Tell your wife to lighten up a little. You tell her. Okay, I’m going to send her a postcard then. No, please. No post. Oh, she’s getting one now. Yeah, the last postcard I got from you was very inappropriate. Oh, I got another one. Believe me, if I can find it, I’m sending it with her name on it. I will send it. As God is my witness, I’m going to do it. No, do not do that. I will do it. Big letters. Big letters. No. We know the postman. Don’t be doing stuff like that. Well, you’re really going to know him here in a minute. We are familiar with the postman and his family.Okay. [su_qrcode data=”https://www.staticradio.com/2026/07/21/ethical-gift/” title=”Ethical Gift” link=”https://www.staticradio.com/2026/07/21/ethical-gift/” ——————————–Bad AI Transcript of the show this week——————————-

Miles gets caught in the drama at the checkout, while Bob sings the praises of homegrown produce. GAMES, like old school games, play a few with the Static Radio twist here – https://www.staticradio.com/category/games/ Subscribe Random Show Click Below https://youtube.com/live/E3JFkRUfi18 Miles gets caught in the drama at the checkout, while Bob sings the praises of homegrown produce. Corn Cashier Bad AI Transcript Live streaming, Fuse City, Jerry. Bob had sex with Candy here. And why are the M&M’s in his head? In my ear. In my ear. In my ear. Who’s that? Yeah. Drinking my old beer. My root beer. Must be a dream. Dig it. Hi, everyone. It’s me, Martin Riggs, doing the show. Martin Riggs. Martin Riggs. I’m too old for this shit. Yeah, yeah. Miles is in such a good mood tonight. It’s a little bit scary, actually. I think he’s probably close to death or something. He’s going to Mitch McConnell us… soon or something you’ll never know lindsey grammis or sam neill who died recently. Sam Neill. I was sad. I was sad when i saw that. I don’t usually bring in shit like that in the show, but i was generally sad to see uh but the sam neill or the sad part? Sam Neill. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it was it was terrible he was he’s like such a a wonderful person. I know. I’m like, oh.Dr. Grant. I’ll go driving in my recreational vehicle without papers. L.A. Yeah. L.A. Great actor. He was considered for James Bond at one point. You have to let go of the fence, whatever your name was, little shithead. Let go of the fence so you don’t get hurt. Jacob. No, it wasn’t Jacob. What was that kid’s name? That’s the kid’s real name is Jacob, I think. Well, everyone knows that, right? I have no idea. That would be a good question. I don’t either. I have no idea. I don’t remember. I’ll have to look it up, but I’m not going to. This is a no-look-up show. You can’t look anything up. Not looking up, anyone. God forbid. I don’t think Bob looks up to some dresses. I think I’ll continue with a couple more vacation stories if you want to hear them. No, I don’t.Okay, well then go ahead. What do you have to talk about? No, come on. Go ahead. Come on. So I was thoroughly chastised for the entire… I just got back from vacation a little while ago. I was certainly chastised for the whole vacation by my wife and my daughter and then my in-laws, my brother and mother-in-law. So we are leaving town… to go on vacation. We did a little bit of a road trip. And, uh, as we’re leaving town, my wife is like, I have to do a number two, a work, a work call. I have to call on a conference call for work. Yeah. As we’re leaving town, I can’t get out of it. I have to do it from the car here. And, um,She’s like, everybody be quiet. And so I’m like, okay. Yeah, no problem. Excuse me. And we get to the corner of town, and I’ve already forgotten. And I look over, and there’s a farm trailer on the corner. Mm-hmm. And this is where every year they come and sell corn and tomatoes. And so I go, hey, the corn stands going to be open. Apparently, I said it very loudly. Oopsies. And so all of her workmates hear me say the coin stand’s going to be open. And she gets so angry with me. So she gives me, you know, she shoots me a dirty look at everything. You’re stupid. I’m like, oh, yeah, I was supposed to be quiet, right? I didn’t say anything dirty. What are you, what are you, chicken chonk? Hey, man. Jesus.I didn’t say anything like that, you know, this fucker cut me off or anything. I just said, hey, the corn stand’s open. And so the whole vacation, any time I was about to say something, the corn stand’s open? Uh-huh. Every time, I just kept getting it. The corn stand’s open! You know, like an idiot. The corn stand! And so, but… But the reality was when we got back from vacation. Everyone went there. Yes. Everybody went there. My wife’s like, will you run me down to the corn stand? I’m like, son of a bitch. Son of a bitch. Honey, would you be a deer? Yeah. If only I were Ike Turner. Anyway. All right. what’s love got to do with it? Corn stand. So, yeah, so we went down and got some corn, and you know what? It was really fucking good. Yeah. It’s the best fucking corn, I swear to God, when that corn stand opens. It’s like, gotta go get some, right? Do you have a corn stand where you live? Yeah, they have some, yeah. Yeah, exactly. So we got corn, we got tomatoes at the corn stand, but it made me so angry because I was made fun of for…you know, like a week and a half. You’re stupid. Yeah, you’re stupid. You ruined my business meeting saying corn stand. You know, I didn’t curse or anything. There’s a lot worse things you could have said. Yeah, I could have said, yeah, a lot of, a lot worse things. Trust me, if we were, if the driving situation, if it was totally switched and she was driving and I was on a business call, there would have been cursing of everybody around us, you know, the cocksucker cut me off. Son of a bitch. Yes. Yeah. You know what I mean? Cause that’s the way my wife talks. Yes. That is not an understanding. Yeah. Let’s not even exaggerate. I can’t even think of how many dirty things that she would say while driving on vacation that she did say, Oh my God, we got stuck in traffic for construction. It was just constant profanity, which by the way, I have a question for you. Go ahead. So we went,down south, we went down to uh georgia was our most southern point. We were in Savannah, Georgia. And we went to a lot of places in between. But anyway, why in the south do they wait until summer to do the road construction? It doesn’t get that cold down there. They could do it all year long almost. But they wait until the summer to do the road construction. What’s the deal? Is it like it’s like a union thing or something? I don’t know. You usually know people, so Well, I could probably find out. I know people that work for me. I could find out. I’m like, I could probably find out for you. I was like, we’re down there. We’re sitting in traffic. And I’m like, what the hell? They could do this any time of the year. It’s not like being up north here where you get snow and everything. They get nothing down there. It gets a little chilly. They don’t realize Bob Lamont’s in line and I don’t wait in line.I waited like a half an hour to get between Tennessee and Kentucky. It was a big to-do. I don’t know what the hell they were doing. Me and my wife, Lovie. Now, I had another weird experience as well, real quick here. So I was in Asheville, North Carolina on vacation, and we were going to have some churrascura, I think is how you say it. It’s the Brazilian – restaurant where they bring out these giant skewers of meat and cut off a piece and put it on your table or your plate. Have you ever been to one of these things? No. Oh, really? I figured you, you of all people would have been to one of these things. I’ve not had any kind of Brazilian experience. I think it’s called Churrascura. Churrascura, I think is what it’s called. Anyway, I’m probably saying that all wrong. But anyhow, so we’re heading downtown Asheville to go to this…steak place and we get off the highway and we pull up to this corner and there is several, um, unhoused individuals. It seems like laughing about. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I got, I got you. And they, I think at least one of them or maybe two of them were kind of, you know, asking for money and whatnot. Yeah. But we were in a stoplight, obviously. You get off the highway, you go to a stoplight. Yeah. But there’s three people who all looked very similar in their attire and their disheveledness, shall we say. Nice. And they started, like, fighting. What are you doing? Now… The most humorous part, which I should not laugh at, this is horrible of me to even mention. Yeah. But one of the guys only had one leg and was on crutches. Oh. And he proceeds to kick another guy in the ass. Uh-huh. And guess what happened? He fell. He fell. The bastard fell, didn’t he? You know, there’s an old joke about…You’re probably as good as a one-legged man. Yes. Yes. It played out at a stoplight in Asheville. He’s like, God damn. It’s right. It’s right. I was like, we’re sitting there going to this restaurant, which now I feel bad about now that I mentioned it. Well, now I feel bad. At the time, I wasn’t thinking about it. Now that I’ve just said it again. But now that I’m laughing at it. All this is unfolding on the corner. And yeah, literally, this guy apparently gets mad at the other guy. One-legged guy. And he kicked him in the ass. I mean, he got him. But then, of course, he took a tumble. Well, that’s confidence. Well, yeah, he’s got some chutzpah. That’s for sure. I give them that. You know what I mean? Fuck it. Like, fuck, I’m going down, but oh well. I’m going down, but you’re going down with me, buddy. Yeah, oh well. And they were tussling, and I was like, let’s just get out of here. Did you join in? Like, all right. Yeah, that’s right. I rolled down the window. Hey, buddy. You got your elbow out. All right, MFers. That’s right. You got Moxie. Come down to the Churroscura, and I’ll buy you a plate. Oh, have some scura. Yeah. Yeah.But anyway, I’ll be honest with you. Chiroscuro was not as great as I was hoping it would be. Yeah. But it was cool. These guys come out with these giant swords and they literally cut meat off of them and put it on your plate. It’s like a James Bond movie. It is. It’s just… They throw them at people and they’re on fire. It’s like… What’s that biscuit throwing place? Lambert’s. Yeah, it’s Lambert’s, but with like skewers. With skewered meat. You killed my grandma, you son of a bitch. I will say the food wasn’t the best, but our waiter was the best waiter I think I’ve ever had in my life. He was so good. He was handsome. He was handsome. He was nice. Yeah.kept my drink filled, which is, you know, that’s the number one thing for a waiter so so what’s going on with you i that was all these experiences, yes. I’m a french man working at a brazilian he wasn’t french but yeah. Oh, he’s like, just tell them you want the juicy meat. Yes, sir. My name is Steve K. Hello. I have juicy meat. So what’s going on with you, Miles? It melts in your mouth. You know. Awesome. I just see if he’s listening. That wasn’t really me. He’s at home on his couch and got the kids around. What the hell are you doing? What the hell? Sorry, kids. Weird-ass person on there. These weirdos talking about weird stuff. I hope this isn’t costing me anything. I’m going to have a talk with that lady that runs this, what her name is. So what’s happening with you? Anything? So…I don’t know. I don’t know if this is, well, you know, the show is the weird and funny. Oh, and of course this dog has to act like an asshole. Let me let my dog out as I start this. Okay. Yeah. Oh, let’s just stop the world. Everybody stop the world because I have a Labrador. Okay. So I’m on, I was on vacation. My vacation wasn’t as good as yours. Never is. But That’s okay. You went to some places I wanted to go to, and I was very jealous, but I’m very glad you got to. And I didn’t get to see the Hunley. Go to Georgia and watch people blacktop the roads. That’s right. I didn’t get to Goose. No. Savannah. We had gone to a ghost town, and we were on the way back, and, you know, I’m like, fuck, we’re not going to eat for a while if we…Kind of committed to eating, you know, a meal at my mother’s house. Like, oh shit. Oh my God. I’m like, can your mom even cook anymore? What is it? Well, my brother-in-law actually. Oh, okay. Well then you lucked out there. I mean, she’s really old, so. My brother-in-law kind of looks like if like Robert De Niro got stung by a bee, you know, he kind of looks like that a little bit, but what do you say? He looks like a raging bull. Sort of, sort of, kind of, sort of. Yeah. And, um, like Jake LaMotta after his prime. And, uh, so I go, well, here, here’s a big chain, uh, place. I won’t mention the name, uh, Burger King. Uh, sort of, we’ll just go with Burger King. No, it wasn’t Burger King, but anyway, um, we pull in, I go, does anyone want anything? And I was kind of the only guy that wanted anything. And I was like, no.That’s always the case. I’m on vacation, God damn it. Give me the apple pie. I’m going to have a Pepsi, God damn it. That’s right. And so as we’re pulling in, I notice a lady looks like she works there. How could you tell? Was she wearing the uniform? They have a colored uniform. Was it Sonic? No. It was not, it was not really a food place. I don’t really want to cut this. There’s some bad stuff going to happen here. So I don’t, I don’t want to say, you know what I’m saying? And, uh, and I could see she was like in some kind of, you know, uh, intense phone conversation, just reading her body language. And she looked, I don’t know. I probably about 10 years younger than me and I’m old. So anyway, so, uh, I go, hold on. I need about two minutes, guys. I’ll be back. Get out of the car.I go into the store. You got to go give me some pork rinds. Yes, my Funyuns and everything else that’s on my diet. And there’s a short line ahead of me. There’s like an older woman and a gentleman who looks like a tweaker and then me. Do you have like – is this like – That little who’s it’s game or whatever. You’re like, oh, it’s a tweaker. I got a match. No, I don’t know. I don’t know who this guy looks like. Anyway, so there’s a nice, I would assume, local lady ringing up people. Oh, wow. Welcome. Welcome to Michigan. Oh, wow. You’re getting the coke there, are you? Oh, wow. Yeah. Welcome to North Chinook there, eh? And, uh, so anyway, the old lady gets done and then like, uh, the Quakers up there and now the phone lady like kind of comes in and some horrible tragedy has befallen her family. Oh no. Something horrible. Like someone has possibly died or been seriously injured or something. Wait a minute. Yeah. This sounds very familiar. Go ahead. She wrote this movie.No. It was about French miners, but I can’t remember the name. Yeah. Hey, shut up. I was trying to tell you about a movie, you jackass. You stupid, stupid. No, but anyway, so the tweaker gets done. He only had one or two things, and I get up there. And this poor lady is just like pouring out her soul to the cashier. Cashier is very pleasant looking at me like, oh, hi, your daughter. Welcome to Canada. I don’t know what the fuck we were about. Oh, yeah. And I go, I’m going to have to go home and help my family. And I’m trying to get help, like people to cover my ship. And I just want you to know that. And I felt, and I’m not making fun of her because this was like a really serious thing. I felt so bad for this lady. I go, I go, maybe I should just like leave my stuff. Maybe you should have this.box of Twinkies instead of me. Yeah. Like, could I give you a rose or something? Or I know I felt so horrible. I felt so horrible. I mean, would you like any of this selection of gum? I felt like an asshole standing in line. Like I wasn’t, I didn’t do anything to be an asshole, but I felt like an asshole because this poor lady’s ringing me up and like her boss is there in tears, choking back horrible news, you know? trying to find coverage. I mean, it’s so dramatic. I’m like, even I was like, Jesus Christ. Oh man, I’ll do it. Give me the schmuck, you know? And like, they kind of awkwardly hug, like, come here, come here. And, uh, I thought maybe I should offer a hug. Oh gosh. Yes. Which, you know, being, you know, semi-autistic, I thought, I changed my mind. I was like, yeah, yeah.maybe I shouldn’t, it’d be weird. It’s too forward. And it all washed away and I didn’t care anymore. Yeah. So I’m like, listen, if you want this, you who you take it and, uh, got this, you and these ring dings, may the angels be with your mother. I don’t know. I don’t, I, God, I felt horrible. I really, I wanted to walk away from the purchase. I really did. I was like, I’m just like, I was just, You know, this lady’s pouring out her soul to a workmate. This glop of fat and sugar kept me in line. And the workmate’s just continuing on with a smile on her face. Let me ring up this young lady back here with all the candy. I should have said, you know, hey, listen, I can wait. Why don’t you guys give up your grief thing andI didn’t, though. I go, what would Bob Lament do? I’m like, well, Bob Lament would probably just muscle through it. That’s right. Hey, is this going to take a long time? I mean, your grandma’s already dead to begin with. Well, first of all, if there was self-checkout, I’d be in the self-checkout lane. There was. Yeah, I would have never went to the… Person. That’s for sure. There was, it was an option. I wish i would have taken it directly to self-checkout and i would have checked out and paid and got the f out of there. It was so awkward. That’s what self-checkout is for. Yes. I’m going to use it exclusively from here on out. I used to like, no, I’m not going to do self-checkout because i’m stealing someone’s job.No one wants that job. Nobody wants that job. They’re in that job because that’s the only thing that’s available. I don’t know. I don’t quiz these people. I have heard no one ever say, you know what I want to do with my life? A cashier? I want to be a cashier at a big box fucking store. That’s what I want to do. And you know when you say to people like that, you go, have you been dropped on your head or something? What is wrong with you? My name is Pablo Mance. I’ve always wanted to work at Walmart. It’s the best job ever. You’re not taking away anyone’s job. You’re taking the aggravation out of your life. I guess. From here on out, I’m all computer, man. I’m all 100%. You can’t even work it. That’s why you didn’t go. You didn’t go because you couldn’t work the self-checkout.Well, no, because there’s like this old bat in front of me, and then there’s a trooper, and then there’s me, and I thought, okay, well, this will go fast, and then all of a sudden it’s like drama city, which I feel bad about, which I didn’t cause this drama, by the way. I didn’t kill anyone. Okay, well, are you sure? I don’t know. Let me ask you this question. Yeah, go ahead. Were you in the little scooter thing that they have for people? excuse me. Excuse me. The little electric uh shopping cart that you can scoot around the store. Were you in that? because I have a feeling you were. Yeah. Yeah. You just didn’t know how to back up. You got in line and you’re like, how do you back this? I’ve never backed one of these up before. I was in line wearing my shants, you know, and, uh, I got my oxygen tank here and i’ve gotten the scooter.And my blockers on, I was ready to go. So whoever this lady is, I hope whatever happened to you, I hope whatever. You were so worried about her, you didn’t even eavesdrop on the conversation. No, I heard the whole thing. I listened to the whole damn thing. Oh, I was just not talking about it. Okay, you’re not revealing what the problem was. I was acting like I couldn’t find my debit card for a while, just so I could eavesdrop on it a little bit. You’re like, I wonder if I could sway this woman into paying for my stuff. Well, I thought maybe they’ll wave me past like, hey, this is very traumatic. Why don’t you just go, sir? It’s all free. Yeah, take your pork rinds and your yoo-hoo and get the F out of here. Yeah, you Polish bastard. Get out of here. So I don’t know. I feel bad. So whatever happened, may your grandma sleep with the angels. I don’t know what happened, but I feel bad. I really do.I really feel bad. I don’t think you do, honestly. Neither does my grandma. You don’t think so either, Angel? No, I don’t think so. I don’t think that grandmas feel bad about it. Oh, see? Exactly. So Steve or Angel, do you guys have like a weird story, a quick weird story you want to tell them? Go for it, Steve. A little faster, Steve. It was Angel who spoke. Yeah, okay. I can speak. I recently moved out to a new home, and I left the kids to choose the bedrooms, and I ended up with the smallest bedroom so far. Oh, my. What? You fool. Yeah. It makes sense. They are packing me into a smaller package from time to time until they get me to that casket. You took the smaller bathrooms?That is what it is. El baño es muy pequeño. Steve, el baño es pequeño. I can’t believe… I don’t know. I cannot… Angel? I think maybe you need to take a course in asserting yourself because, I mean, you’re probably paying, right? They’re not paying. Are they paying? No, no, they’re not paying. Yeah, they’re children, right? They’re not paying. Yeah, they’re not. Yeah, you deserve. You deserve the other bathroom. The king. The king. Do you read the bathroom, Angel? I like to read in the bathroom. You’re right. You’re right. But it is what it is. I mean, it’s either here or they get crazy with their mom. Hmm. It’s leverage. Now, is this paying off in any kind of sexual favors from anyone? No, that sounded weird. You know, Angel, I was thinking that too, but I thought, you know, he’s in it for himself. By the way, I was part of an open mic and they picked two words for me. One was babies and the other one was weddings.And I said, like, it’s funny because one thing leads to another, but the other, it really matters because you cannot really marry a baby. No, that’s true. Well. That’s not what Bob’s wife said. Serpentado de pantalones es pequeño. Oh my, this guy, anybody has to speak Spanish. I speak Spanish. So what? In the room, he’s going to start spouting. He doesn’t speak Spanish. None of that made any sense. Yeah. I said the pants snake, the trouser snake is small. That’s what I said. Okay. Yeah. That was weird. I went with this guy at stores. He starts speaking Spanish to people. Yes. Yeah, I heard that he wanted to go out with a cashier or something like that. He was hitting on the cashier while she was hearing the sob story. Yeah. Sir, quit pushing the horn on the free cart. Yeah, he said it himself. They’re not that smart, so.He wanted to get some kind of menage a trois with the cashier and the crying lady. The crying game. Steve, anything in your world? I see you have a nice hat. Oh, that picture was taken in Reno, Nevada. Really? Yes. The river. It doesn’t look like Reno. Was it free? Was it free? Yeah. Yeah. Was this a Polaroid on the strip somewhere? Oh, this is a selfie with my camera. Oh, okay. It looks a little old. I don’t know. I’ve been alone for a few years. Nobody takes my picture. I’m just documenting my life. Oh, well, that’s sad. Angel, you have another bathroom? I was going to say that the picture looks very low res and all, but it almost makes it look like a Flintstones kind of picture, likewith the beak of the bird tapping out? Oh, thank you. Behind me is called the river Walk. If you go to downtown Reno, there’s a walk really yeah and I made some money. I also played the trumpet, and I was playing the trumpet, and people were throwing money in my jar and giving me joints to smoke. Really? Do you speak Spanish huh Did you speak Spanish while you were down on the river? I’m told I speak 50% Spanish, but the problem is my comprehension. I don’t understand what’s being said to me, but I can speak. I know a lot of Spanish words. Well, then, yeah, you and Miles will get along great because you can both not speak Spanish to each other. I do speak Spanish. I’m actually based in Mexico. I’m from Mexico. Well, I believe you, Angel. These other two guys, I’m like, I’m not even going to. Angel, from another mic, you said you got deported.You got deported to the United States? No, out of the United States. Oh, out of the United States. I was dating a girl and I was making her miserable as her ex. You know, classic Mexican stealing jobs. Yeah, it’s amazing. Bob, I was very intrigued by your story, how you’re doing comedy in Mexico. You’re rebuilding your life, and you’re still keeping in touch with us. It really touched me, your honesty. I was listening. I was paying attention. Yeah, thanks. Miles, how about you? You touched. No, but I enjoy Mexico. I’ve been there a few times. Yeah, I know. That’s why we think he can speak Spanish. Now there’s some good looking women down there. I told you that that girl, I was eating at a restaurant and that girl leaned over. She goes, do you want to eat my Papa? I go, I don’t know what that is, but I’m down, you know, DTF, French fries. Those are potatoes. And she’s like, you love French fries. I can tell just by what she was offering me. I’m like, hell yeah.Yeah, from what it sounds, it doesn’t sound Mexican or a girl. Thank you. Very good, Angel. Very good. Oh, my God. I needed that. Oh, that was funny. Oh, my God. There was the cook. He’s like, I got all these potatoes. Get rid of them. A man can’t go on a date with a tranny? Well, that’s not true. You can’t really go wrong with a six-inch clitoris. No. I think her name was Lola. Well, guys, I think we’re going to wrap the show up, but you’re welcome to stay on. Oh, my God. I’m going to close it down now, and then you can – Angel, I hope you get to add another bathroom to your house. Yeah, a little bit. And Steve, you know, Reno is always going to be there. There’s always going to be Reno. Yeah, I live in Las Vegas, so it’s what, like a six-hour drive to Reno? Oh, really? I’ve never understood why people live in –a gambling town and go to another gambling town. But I guess all of Nevada is like that. Well, you know why? Because the only two towns in Nevada, between Reno and Las Vegas, you got nothing. So I just wanted to see the only other city. That’s why. What about, oh, what’s the name of that? It was on a TV show. I’m blanking on the name of the Parumph. Parumph isn’t too far from me. Yeah, see? That’s another town. I know. Well, I have to rent the car while I want to go places. And most of the time I just walk around. The strip area. Oh, well, there you go. All right, guys, we will. [su_qrcode data=”https://www.staticradio.com/2026/07/14/corn-cashier/” title=”Corn Cashier” link=”https://www.staticradio.com/2026/07/14/corn-cashier/” ——————————–Bad AI Transcript of the show this week——————————-

Bob goes to see a mansion and then leads a rescue, while Miles ignores the signs and ends up deep in the mud. GAMES, like old school games, play a few with the Static Radio twist here – https://www.staticradio.com/category/games/ Subscribe Random Show Click Below https://youtube.com/live/-1lcSSl_kgE Bob goes to see a mansion and then leads a rescue, while Miles ignores the signs and ends up deep in the mud. Traveling Guys Bad AI Transcript The sound of summer. Hey, everyone. Miles Pytle with Static Radio Podcast. And Super Phlegm. That’s your new nickname. Super Phlegm. He’s Super Phlegm. My esophagus. Now, my, my, why you got so much phlegm in your mouth? It’s not phlegm. He’s super phlegm, super phlegm, he’s super phlegmy. Yeah, wow. Temptations sing. Yeah, exactly. God, he’s so goddamn phlegmy. I feel like I’m smoking weed again. He’s drinking a gallon of milk or something or whatever. Yeah. I was smoking weed again, man. Oh, are you? Okay. No, I feel like it. I feel like it. I mean, everybody does gummies these days, so I don’t know why you’re smoking it. No, I haven’t in a long time. I’m just saying. Oh, okay. so we are a couple of, uh, traveling guys yes we’re traveling traveling guys this is the East. We’re coming to your house we’re gonna party down. We’re the traveling guys. I don’t have that uh songSo, yeah, you went somewhere, and I went somewhere, and normally that never happens. Usually I just go somewhere. True. No, that’s true. I’m not offended. That is true, actually. You normally don’t go anywhere. I try not to. Or you just go down to the Casey’s or something and bother the people. Yeah, as I like to. Yeah, the peoples. So where did you go? I was up by the Wisconsin-Michigan border area. Oh, really? Did you go to the Dells? Well, that wouldn’t really be the border area if you knew cartography, which you don’t. I’m not a cartographer. I guess the Dells is lower. Stupid shit. lower than where you were at. You were higher. Well, they don’t have fucking geography class where the fuck you want. Can you say geography? No, I can’t say if i’m drunk. Uh, I got all this phlegm going on yeah yeah no i have snap up there in the michiganders oh yeah i got yeah i got beamed in the head. Yeah. I was at a cemetery and something hit me in the head. I go, what the fuck?was this slimy fucking pine cone hit me in the head. This freaking ghost drops us on my, it’s awful as sap or as some people like to call it uh ghost spooge. I’m walking around like cameron diaz from, uh, there’s something about Mary. Yeah, I’m walking around. I’m like, oh, there’s goo in my hair. Oh, my God. Is it bird shit on me again? No. Everyone was hoping it was bird shit. Like, oh, I hope it’s bird shit. I go, I don’t think so. I go, it smells like pine, and it’s really gooey, man. It’s sticky gooey. What’s a squirrel spunk? I don’t know. It just hit me right. Like, literally, I was walking into the cemetery, and it was like, what the hell?Did you look around? Maybe there was a clue on one of the tombstones. You know? I thought I heard ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. I mean, you know, look for some kind of sign. You know what I mean? No, that was the sign, so much. I knew it. Okay. I think it was a ghostly encounter. I think it was. Spunky pine cone. Yeah, I’ll pull a spunk. I’m like, geez. Really? Then I’m like the whole, I’m obsessing about it like the rest of the day. I’m like, God. Is it in my hair still? Is it in my? Well, it got hard. Did you? It got hard. You’re like, I could, if I rubbed this in certain places, I could be useful to me. The more I rubbed it, the harder it got. You weren’t wearing a hat? You weren’t wearing a bear’s hat? What’s going on? No. Well, I have a lot of hair. I haven’t cut my hair in a long time, so I didn’t think I needed it. Yeah.You’ve been blessed. I don’t think your dad is really your dad. I’m just saying. Yeah, well, I don’t know. We look an awful lot alike, so I don’t know. He didn’t have any hair. Yeah. That’s all inheritance, though. And he never coughed up as much phlegm, for Christ’s sake. Yeah. He didn’t. I’m sorry, man. Sorry. That’s the way it is. So… You got slimed by a pine cone in the cemetery. What are we doing in the cemetery? What are we looking for? We went to an old ghost town and I go on the map. Really? Yeah, there is. Yeah. It’s an abandoned west. You know what I mean? No, it’s an abandoned like foundry or whatever. Got you. Company town? Yeah, right. It was right on the water. And I go, oh, there’s a cemetery. And my daughter-in-law is like, that is way too far to walk. For a fat guy like you. I’m like, excuse me. Back in the day. I walked everywhere. Then I had to pull my Shelly Winters on her. I pulled out this medallion like, I used to be the swimming champion back in high school.She said, you can’t do it. You won’t make it. Have you ever heard of a man called Dave Waddle? He was a buddy of mine and he was a walking champion. Yeah. And you know what? That little shit was right. We had to get in the car and go to this place. Damn it. Damn it. No, we had some… Uh, we didn’t actually tell my relatives we were there, so we could actually go sightseeing, you know, so. Oh, gotcha. So you did a little, oh, you mean you didn’t even tell them at all? Uh, no. Well, towards the end of our trip, we did. Oh, okay. So you went, you snuck in and then you go, Hey, we’re here. We have been here for three days. We got it. We got in Friday night and Sunday. I went to church with my mom. I freaked her out. And she’s like, it’s an apparition.I know she was all freaked out crying. I thought that ghost miles would be much thinner than real. You’d be surprised. You’d be, but, um, we, uh, there’s a lot of waterfalls up there. A lot of them are pretty small, you know? Yeah. And, uh, we were going to go to one of the larger ones. and we, uh, it was a little bit of a car ride. You know, we get there there’s four of us and, uh, there’s like all these people just kind of mulling around the parking lot, just like zombies. I’m like, Hmm, that’s weird. Like, you know, like, I don’t know. What is this? Like a grateful dead concert? I didn’t know what it was. Somebody like, were they selling food or no? Yeah, no. There was like,They were just standing around. I’m like, what the hell is going on? So I go waddling up. There’s like a park ranger thing. Excuse me, sir. Excuse me. You guys are like, you got a pine cone stuck to your head. Let’s see where the other one landed. You can’t take that out of the park. Excuse me, sir. No, the trail is blocked off. It’s physically blocked off. You can’t go there. Can’t see that one. I’m like, what’s up? She goes, oh, yeah, the trail’s washed out. There’s no way in hell you’re going there. Well, let me show you. I’ll go get my car. My name’s Bob Lamont, and I’ll do whatever I want. Here’s $300. Go F off. You know what I’m saying? Whatever I jam well, please. I’m rich. I’ll buy this waterfall and this broken path. Everyone’s like, oh, that nice lady. I’m like, she’s a bitch.Oh, man. It was like a nice lady like your mom. A really nice, sweet lady. Everyone’s like, oh, she was so nice and sweet. No, she wasn’t. Right. My mom didn’t like you, so there you go. Well, I liked her. It was nice. It wasn’t mutual. I don’t care. She was nice. It was unrequited love. It was unrequited love. And So to salvage it, I go, let’s… Well, actually, I didn’t really pick this, but down the road a little ways was… There’s an ice cream shop, I’m sure, in this neighborhood. Yeah. No, we actually stopped to get drinks, and there’s some weird noise going on behind this store. I’m like, is this Jurassic Park? What the fuck? They’re like… No, yeah, no. There was an old lady working there, and me and a stranger, we made eye contact, and we both asked the same question, like, what the fuck is that noise? Yeah. And the lady’s like, oh, that’s just a parrot, but we don’t want people fucking with them, so we keep them in the back. I’m like, oh. Oh, parrots are so annoying. It was loud, though. It was so loud. I go, this has got to be like an emu or some shit or ostrich or… He’s like, I’m being raped by Jeffrey. I’mSo anyway, uh, so I turn here for, uh, you know, danger falls. I’m like, okay. Yeah. Great. And at first it’s paved. You’re like, oh, okay. All right. That’s good. And then it’s, it kind of becomes like a gravel road. You’re like, oh, okay. And then it says something like country road ends. I’m like, oh, okay. And now it’s more like mud. Oh, and, uh, Parked on the opposite side of the road, like, lots of cars. I’m like, that’s weird. Like, a bunch of abandoned cars. I feel like I’m in The Walking Dead. Like, you know, like, I’m like, what the fuck? Are these the same people that were in the parking lot milling around? No. I don’t know. I don’t know. And then, like, then people were parking on our side of the road, so there’s very little room. Uh-huh.to maneuver, and now there’s like duallys coming the other way. I’m like, oh, this is not good. You kept going, even though all these cars were parked. You kept going. Well, you kept hoping there’d be a conclusion to this. You’re like, oh, okay, all right. You’re here for something totally different that’s irrelevant to what we’re doing. I have no idea what the fuck all these people were doing. I get preferential parking because I inherited a placard. Right. Yeah, I know. Well, we’ll certainly. And finally, my wife was driving. She was, I’m just turning around. Fuck it. Yeah, no kidding. Wow. And my wife is driving. It’s a wonder you guys didn’t barrel right on through. No, she got us. Thank God she got us out of there. I was so happy. I’m like, let’s just go. You didn’t even get to see any waterfalls? No. And we’re trying to warn people.we’re trying to warn people coming into this thing. Like, Hey, you may not want to go to this. You’re going, you’re going. I know. I was like, uh, Gene Hackman and the Poseidon adventure. Like come on the wrong way. The powers. The second Poseidon adventure. Yeah. Do you watch it recently or something? No, that wasn’t the first one. I remember like a minister was leading all these people. He’s like, and, uh, so, uh, There was a little town called Christmas, which I was just there with my brother. I go, I know there’s a beach. And we got there and we had the beach to ourselves. It was very nice. And a good time. All those cars kept parking around. Yeah. All of a sudden that big group of people like, hello. So nothing like a town called Christmas. Yeah.So Christmas it was. You’re very festive there, young man, with a pine cone in your head. That was weird, though. What’s the chances of that happening? I’m like, wow. It’s a sign. I didn’t think so at first, but now the more I think about it, I’m like, you know. Wake the F up. I know. It was like some weird Catholic ghost got me or something. Beamed me in the head. I don’t know what the Catholic part is now. It’s a Catholic cemetery. Oh, exclusively? Nobody else? Well, come on. You know how that works. Come on. I don’t know. You know. You need to have a membership card to get inside. I didn’t know that. Oh, yeah. Are you okay? Do you feel any different? Do you feel like, I mean, is this not phlegm? Is this sap?that got into your system that you can’t get out now? I’m just glad it washed out. I’m just glad I was able to wash it out later that night because I was just like… Yeah. So that you could replace it with melted Hershey Kisses or something? I go, I think I know how Bob LeBent’s dates felt in Decatur, you know, when he would kind of… I’ll put it in my hair, honey. Oops. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it… Are you done? Yeah, I’m done. Okay, I wasn’t sure. You sound like you’re going to continue with another thing. No, you’ve got some exciting stuff. Go. Oh, no, nothing exciting. It’s funny, though, because I was on vacation as well, and we had a weird walking too far a distance story, which I think is a funny coincidence. This was your ghost tour. No, no, no. We did go on a ghost tour, but we went to Asheville…North Carolina, if anybody’s familiar. And there is a mansion there called the Biltmore Mansion. The Vanderbilts. It’s the largest private residence in the United States. Wow. And it is huge. Okay. We went and did a tour of the Biltmore Mansion. and so, uh, it was nice. I mean, it was built, you know, centuries. So it’s nice for that period of time. Obviously they’ve, there was no air conditioning. Uh, so that was a little rough, but, uh, I mean, it’s a very lavish home, uh, there in north carolina and extremely lavish grounds with, you know, gardens and you know, meadows and the whole nine yards. And, uh, you know, it takes forever to get there. And then you got to park far away. And so, uh, I don’t know. I, I’ve talked about it. My wife hurt her foot last year on Mackinac Island. Yeah. And still not recovered. Right. She had surgery and all kinds of stuff. And so we’re at the Biltmore. We did tour of the Biltmore. And then we take a bit of a, uh,It was a long tour because it’s a big effing house. I will tell you, it’s really quite fascinating and interesting. But to me, the most fascinating part of the whole house was the basement. Because that had a swimming pool down there. Like from the time period, there was no filtration. So they just basically filled it up and then drained it each time. Oh, God. It was huge. It was giant. They had all these little nooks and crannies down the basement for all of the stuff that took care of the people upstairs. They had a whole room of just cheese. It was like the cheese room and then they had a rotisserie room where it was a rotisserie cooking oven that was in this whole room. That was all it was. It just went on and on. There were all these different weird rooms in the basement.They were all entirely tiled. And it was, I’m like, I could just live in this base. It was fantastic. But anyway, pizza crust room. That’s where you would be. Yeah. I would have made a pizza oven room. Oh, shit. Yeah. If you ever seen the movie, there will be blood. It was look like that bowling alley, but it wasn’t it. So I’m finished. What’s that? He said at the end, I’m finished or something. I’m finished. That’s right. He kills the guy. Ashes his head with the bowling ball. So anyway, so that was kind of exhausting in and of itself because you had to go up these stairs. It’s like, I don’t know, four stories or something. I don’t know what it was. We went all the way up. We looked at all these rooms. It was all quite interesting. We went down to the basement, which was nice because it was really cool. And then we took a break. And my wife’s like…We have to go see this. There’s a bridge on the grounds of the Biltmore. And that is where they filmed a part of Last of the Mohicans, which is a big movie that she loves. With Daniel Day-Lewis and Les Studi and all those guys, right? And so she’s like, I want to go see this bridge. I’m like, yeah, okay. Yeah. Okay. She’s like, from what I, you know, they don’t, they don’t even talk about this being the last of the Biltmore. It’s the Biltmore. They don’t talk about, Hey, this is the last of mohican bridge. It’s not labeled that way or anything. You know what i mean? Yeah. She knows this because she likes the movie research and everything. So, uh, my mother-in-law is with us as well, right? So it’s my daughter and me and my mother-in-law and my wife are all on this tour. And we head out to go see this bridge. Now, it’s by what’s called the bass Pond, which is labeled. And so we start walking. And we go through the gardens, and they’re just amazing, beautiful, you know. And it’s hot, right? It’s been really hot here lately.So it’s like in the upper 80s, 90 degrees or whatever. And we continue to walk. And then the path goes from paved to gravel. It sounds like your story. And then it goes from gravel to dirt. Yeah, that’s it. And we get to the, it wasn’t muddy though. And there wasn’t a bunch of cars. There was nobody. And then we get a little closer and this other couple are walking towards us. And my wife’s like, is the bass pond down there? And we go, yeah, we’re just there. And she’s like, there’s a bridge down there? Yeah. And they go, it’s still a ways to go. And I’m like, well, do you want to go? Oh, yes. We must go. So we get all the way down there to the Bass Pond. And there is a bridge, but it’s not the bridge from the movie. It’s a wooden bridge. And my wife is… We don’t have any cell service.Yeah. And my wife’s getting so mad because this bridge is supposed to be there. And then her foot is hurting like tremendously. Oh. And so then we’re like, I go, well, let’s sit down. Let’s look around. You know what I mean? Everybody’s hot and everything. And so then I go, so my daughter says, I’m going to go walk a little further and maybe I’ll see the bridge, right? Because she’s young. Oh, yeah. She can take it. So she takes off. and walked down, you know, not very much further. She’s like, yeah, there’s this big brick bridge down here over the other side. And so my wife is like, okay, we got to go see this bridge. We walk down where she’s at, and there it is. There’s this bridge from the movie Last of the Mohicans. Oh, thank God. At this point, her foot is like killing her. Mm-hmm.And she’s like, I don’t think I can make it back. We probably walked a mile and a half. Yeah. And everybody’s really hot. And it’s all downhill. Oh, you’re screwed. So as we’re standing there looking at the bridge, a bus goes over it. Yeah. And I’m like, there’s cars on that bridge. she’s like, what? And then we stood there for a while and more cars went across the bridge. And I go, so, you know, maybe I can walk over to the bridge and we can find our way back to the parking lot. And my wife’s like, oh no, you can’t go. What? You’re fat and out of shape. Oh, come on. Let’s send our daughter up to get the car. Right. And I’m like, no. I go, no, I can make it. I’m like, I’m not that tired, and I don’t have a sore foot or anything. And at this point, my mother-in-law starts feeling bad, and she’s older. I won’t say how old, but she’s older. And so then now, those two can’t make it back to the car. And so I go, well, there’s a road. There’s buses going over this bridge. So my daughter and I will go back. We’ll get the car.And we’ll drive down and pick you up. No. But it’s going to take a while, right? No. And then no phone service, right? So she finally agrees to let me go, even though she thinks I’m going to die on the way up the hill. And so my daughter and I start hoofing it. And then I find the shortcut over to the road, like through the road. basically through the woods. Right. Right. And I’m like, well, Hey, we can come over to the road and you guys can sit over here. Oh no, we’re not going to go over there. And so then we left them near the bridge on like some benches in the shade. So then my daughter and I will cut through here. We cut through, we find the road, we’re hoofing it. I mean, this is like, it’s not as steep as Mackinac, but this is pretty steep.Hill. Yeah. Yeah. And so we’re both hoofing it up this hill. And, uh, guess who’s outpacing the youngster. Oh, really? old doddikins Yes. old doddikins Yeah. And so then we get going and i’m like, I don’t know if this is going to take us to the parking lot. because it was kind of a weird spot. And so then we had to walk all the way back up to the house and In the meantime, I’m texting my wife telling her our progress. Yeah. I got service when I got up the hill a bit. And so then it takes a long time. I mean, this, you know, we walked like a mile and something. Oh, yeah. I’m texting. I’m like, oh, we made it to the cafe, which was at the base of the gardens. And then I’m like, okay, we made it to the house, you know.And, uh, so then we finally, uh, my daughter and I finally make it over to the car. I mean, this was a trek and a half and what I would consider record time, but the people who are waiting thought it was way too long. And then they started walking to try to get to the road. And then when they get to the road, we’re at the cafe. And then she’s like, I think they want us to come to the cafe. Yeah. We had agreed to wait by the road. Right, right. I was saying we made it to the cafe. Right. Anyway, thankfully, they did not try to move. But when I finally picked them up, they were really confused, thinking that we wanted them to come all the way back up the hill, which they couldn’t do. What? So then my daughter and I get in the car, and we come out of the parking lot.And the thing. Yeah. We were driving to go find this bridge. Uh-huh. And all the exit signs drive us through the garden, drive us down to the bass pond. Yeah. And we drove. The exit was going right by everything she wanted to see. We didn’t need to walk at all. Oh, you stupid idiots. Oh, my God. Whenever you walk it, you can’t see the road. It’s all, like, woodsy and everything. Right. We pull up and pick them up. And they’re by the road. They’re, like, all super hot. I’m sweating because I junked up this hill, you know. And my daughter’s all sweaty. And they get in the car. And we head out. And I’m like, guess what? We drove… through everything we just saw on our mile. Oh my God. It was hilarious. I’m like, Oh my gosh. So the mile is about a 20 minute walk. Yeah. Well, downhill was not so bad. Uphill was a little bit much. Yeah. Yeah. But anyway, yeah, I thought it was funny. I did. We did stop at the cafe and sit on a bench for a little while, which was not, which was not really halfway. It was a little more than halfway, but yeah,But I did outpace my daughter for a little bit of that, especially at the end. Yeah, I was quite proud of myself. I’m like, yeah, I didn’t die. Mud volleyball training paid off. My extensive mud volleyball expertise and conserving of energy really paid off. God, slow down, God. But it was very funny that as we were driving, I’m like, Shit, it’s taking us right through the gardens. You could have drove the whole way. You could have drove to every one of these destinations. And then we actually drove over that fucking bridge from last time over, you guys. Uh… we’re thirsty! We’re really thirsty! Yeah, oh no, we had we prepared, we had a cooler with water and everything, but we didn’t take the water, which was stupid, but we did have it when we got to the car, so it was, like, nice and ice cold, and everybody was happy and yeah I will say, you know, I know it’s an old people thing but yeah Biltmore is some house, man. It’s some house. If you could afford that house, holy moly.Enjoy your Poland Springs. That’s right. Enjoy it. Now that the other quick thing about the house was when we were waiting before we, the funny, you know, the tragedy of it all is while we were waiting to make our trek down to the bass ponds bridge from last, the Mohicans, we were sitting in the courtyard having a drink and a security guard walked by with an AED and, You know, one of those things they charge and stick on your chest to revive you. Ever so calmly through the courtyard. And then, like, two more security people come through. So somebody passed out in one of the areas on the far side of the courtyard. And we should have took that as a sign to not go on this trek. But instead, no, we had to go. It’s under a tent in the shade, just so you know. Yeah.But the funny thing was he walked through like he was just carrying a briefcase, but my wife, or I think my daughter, somebody was like, has that guy got an AED? You know, they stick them on the walls everywhere. And so apparently one of the old folks, because there’s a lot of old folks on this tour, must have killed or was, you know, having some issues. But he did not run. He just calmly strolled through the courtyard. And he fell into the frog pond. Yeah, that’s right. But, you know, chance. Go to Asheville, North Carolina and see the Biltmore. It’s quite something, I tell you. Yeah. More vacation stories to come. [su_qrcode data=”https://www.staticradio.com/2026/07/08/traveling-guys/” title=”Traveling Guys” link=”https://www.staticradio.com/2026/07/08/traveling-guys/” ——————————–Bad AI Transcript of the show this week——————————-

Bob has to set the record straight about a college conversation, while Miles downplays his family’s curse. GAMES, like old school games, play a few with the Static Radio twist here – https://www.staticradio.com/category/games/ Subscribe Random Show Click Below https://youtu.be/9mGagGxpMTA Bob has to set the record straight about a college conversation, while Miles downplays his family’s curse. Damned Expenses Bad AI Transcript That’s what she would want. You know, I don’t want that to happen, but you know sure and Finally This is like like say about a week ago, right? Yeah, so within two weeks of that or two now for two weeks about two weeks two days of that Two days of that. Okay. First of all, like the neighbors tree like half of its now in my backyard. I’m like fuck is it still there? I Uh, yeah, I haven’t gotten around to it yet. Oh, that’s so sorry, mile. That’s so terrible. I know. I’m glad I don’t live by you. Cause you’d probably be suing me by now. Or a French bit rent on this tree branch. Yeah. I know your tree landed in my mulch. You’re going to have to pay me for this space. So,I’m starting to think, like, you know, he might be right. Uh-oh. Now you’re thinking that you’ve just finally come to this realization. Yeah, it’s like one of those monster movies where the guy’s all in denial, like, oh, there’s no monster out there. And then he’s, like, the middle of the movie. He’s like, well, fuck, maybe there is. There can’t be giant rabbits. There ain’t no Bigfoot, son. Oh, shit. Holy moly. Yeah, I was like, oh, okay. Well, maybe the boy’s got a point. Bigfoot sent me over a stump. Yeah. Do it again. And, um, so anyway, that night, oh my gosh. So I make arrangements and, uh, the guy, you know, I was like, well, I can’t come out there for a week. I’m like, okay. What? A tree?The tree, yeah. There’s probably a lot of trees down. It’ll be fine. You don’t ever mow your grass anyway. No big deal. He’s like, well, let’s just wait until it dries up. Let’s give it about a few days. Next thing I know, three days later, we have three inches of rain come down in one day. I’m like, well, I’m fucked. Yeah. More tree limbs are coming down. Now your backyard’s full of tree limbs. Actually, yeah. Now my tree limb actually fell off my own tree limb. It was not nearly as big, but had it hit someone in the head, it probably would have killed them. I was like, shit. I’ll have to have Bob over more often, I guess. Anyway, so that night I could go to bed. I’m like, all right, well, I don’t like to go to bed worrying about shit. I just go to bed. How do you go to bed not worrying about things?I don’t know. I just shut, I normally could shut it off. I don’t know why. I’m like, Oh yeah. Cause I fall asleep really fast. Well, between that and the suffocation, everyone wins out. So that night I’m sleeping and I, all of a sudden, uh, like this dream starts. And like one of my sisters is like, Oh man, she goes, our mom is writing like checks to like her local church. Like, her yearly Christmas donation. Okay. But she wants to give it to the church early this year. Mm-hmm. He goes, isn’t that weird? I’m like, oh, fuck. That is weird. Like, maybe she knows, you know, like, you know, like, oh, shit. Oh, fuck. Like, I literally woke up, like, two o’clock in the morning and almost called my mom. I’m like, are you okay? Because now… This little shit has cursed me.He had to scrape off the curse and put it on you. Yeah, he did. He bounced it on me. First of all, he tells me something horrible is going to happen, which the tree happened. And then he’s like, oh, this horrible dream happened. Then I have somewhat of a similar dream somewhat. Like, okay, that little shit happened. Why? Why? Why did I deserve it? Why did it bounce my way for? I’m bouncing back. I shake it off. I don’t want it. Give this to Bob LeBent. I don’t want it. I don’t want any of your weirdness. I’m bouncing it to you. There’s no bouncing. Yes. It’s like the ring. Once I tell this story, it’s going to happen to you. Once you listen to it, it bounces to you. No. It’s like the ring video. I don’t know what you’re talking about.The Ring, isn’t that the movie where you watch the videotape and then… No, I have no… I don’t know what you’re talking about. Okay. Okay. All right. Well, I hope it doesn’t come to fruition. I know. I’m like, fuck. Because I haven’t really called my mom yet. I’m like, fuck. If it does… I know. You know who I’m blaming. I’m going to feel like an asshole. I know. I’m like, fuck. That’s what you feel all the time. Well, yeah, that’s true. I am an asshole. I am a freaking jerk. Well, I’m sorry your son feels that way. I know, you know, being in his familiar, you know, familial, familial? What’s the family? His family situation. Yeah. You know, the relations and all. Mm-hmm. He would feel cursed.Yeah, you know, you get down, you know, things happen. I mean, you know, look around. Yeah. Yeah. He’s like, this guy’s like one step from an iron lung. Yeah, no kidding. So, you know, but I think it’s okay. I think it’s going to be fine. I’ll be honest. It’s going to be fine. It’s going to be okay, right? Oh, yeah. That’d be fine. Yeah. Maybe it wasn’t grandma. Maybe it was just somebody who looks like grandma. And why was my sister in the dream? Well, you look like your mom, so. I look a lot like my dad. Yeah. I was trying to draw a connection to you. I look like my daddy. Yeah, you do look like your dad. Handsome. There’s no mistaking. There’s no mistaking. A little bit of Clark Gable. Yeah, remember, like, a long time ago, they had those apple people where they’d take and, like, make their face out of an apple, and it’d be all dried up and craggly. Yeah, you’d cook the apple or something, wouldn’t you? Yeah, that would you guys, the apple people. We do look alike. I mean, we do. Male or female. Yeah, male or female. Yeah, all this. Yeah.Although my brother does not look like my dad. That’s weird. mailman? It’s been theorized. Because actually, he has my grandpa’s name, who coincidentally was also a best friend of my mom and dad, that name. Coincidence. That guitar playing son of a bitch. I wonder if he’s my brother’s. Yeah. Hmm. Weird. You know, I mean, I want to talk out of turn here, but somebody I know had a, you know, extra child go on. Go on. I’m just saying. I’m not going to say any more than that. I’m going to get in trouble, so I won’t say any more than that. I don’t know. No one I know. Nobody you know had an extra kid or anything? No. Really? You mean like a bastard, you mean, or what? Yeah, yeah, that’s a grown-up child, yeah.I don’t know. Was that you? I don’t know. I have no idea what you’re alluding to. I don’t know. Okay. Well, I probably shouldn’t have said anything. Let’s change the subject. I don’t know. I really don’t know. I don’t know. Let’s change the subject. I guess. I would like to hear this off the air. I don’t know. Refer to me. I know it’s not me. No. Well, heck, come on. You would flaunt it. Let’s be honest. Yeah. That’s my kid. Yeah. Yeah. Well, if my dad was like super, super, super rich, I’d be like, that is my dad. Otherwise, I’ll just claim my dad as my dad. Gotcha. Okay. Nothing against my dad. I’m just saying. Actually, I know several people who have an extra child. Now that I think about it. Dr. J. No, Dr. J doesn’t. He’s probably got three or four.No, I don’t think so. I don’t know. I have no idea. I don’t know. Well, I’ll tell you about it later. Anyway. All right. Go ahead. I don’t know why I brought it up. I guess I was just thinking about it. You and Roberta? No, not Roberta. That girl you used to work with at the library, Roberta? No, not Roberta. You were wanting to bang her? You were like, hey, come here. No, there was no interest in Roberta ever. She seemed interested in you. Well, that may have been. I’ve had several opportunities with the wacky and weird side of Roberta. Wasn’t she the one that wanted to sit, like, really close to you all the time? You’re like, no, get away. Yes, I tell her, get away from me. Arms length. I think I used to say that. Arms length, Roberta. Uh-uh. Uh-uh. I don’t know what we do here. I can’t touch you. Uh-uh. It’s more of a guideline than a rule. Yeah. No. Well, everybody. Yeah. Remember? Yeah. In college, I had a job.I worked at the library in what was called at the time the Self-Instruction Center. Yeah. And Miles was rich and didn’t have a job. By choice. That’s correct. Yes. Yeah. And then he would come out and hang out at my job and talk to all the interesting people that I worked with. Looking back, I probably should have gotten a job. I don’t know how I thought about that. Yeah, well, you could have got a job. You were there enough. You could have just got a job. I know. I could have. Shit, I would have made like $20,000 at least. I don’t know about that. That was back like 40 years ago. Yeah. Back then, I don’t think I made no $20,000. But yeah, it was a good job, though. Honestly, it was one of the better jobs on campus, if you ask me. But this guy in the library.You’re in the library. Those guys handed out cassette tapes and headphones for three hours a night. Got paid for it and got to do my homework in between. Yeah. He’s getting a whopping $5. Remember I handed out bones. You don’t remember that? I’m not sure what that’s code for. No, I handed out boxes of bones. You don’t remember this. I was not in that class. No. We had, so at the Sulphur Church Center, we had all kinds of stuff. We had a lot of cassettes and headphones and film strips. And this is before, you know, had films and videotapes and all kinds of stuff. Yeah. This is before digital. And what we used to have for the med students, we’d have boxes of bones. I was not brought in on this.Oh, no, I used to get them out and tease people with them. No, no. Because we had skulls. Never happened. Yes, and we had arms, and we had hands. I would remember this. I would remember this. You did not. You did. I’m sure you did, but you did not share. I used to love to get the hand out and go up to people and touch them on the shoulder, and they’d freak out. It was a bone? Does it have a bony hand? Oh, my God. Hey, Roberto, let me touch your titties with this. No, I didn’t do that. Come on. Yeah. But, no, we did. We had bones. And the thing was, they were real bones. Not all of them, but they were actual, like, human, pieces of human skeleton. We had femur, I think. Roberto, you want to see a real bone? We did not have, like, you know, hips or anything. Labia.I don’t think those are bones, my friend. We didn’t have, you know, hips or, you know, I think we had some vertebrae. We had some ribs. It wasn’t like you had the whole skeleton. You just had like pieces and parts. Taint. Taint is not a bone. In the song, you don’t go, you know, and the tailbone is connected to the taint bone. it’s in a little jar, you know, clear liquid. You’re like, I can’t believe that i never got, well, maybe because whenever you were there, you were always talking or something, but yeah, I used to get them out all the time. I was just making fun of your co-workers i was like, it was like three hours just to make fun of people downtime and thenBut yeah, we’d get the bones out and I’d freak people out and stuff. I honestly do not remember that. I’d hold my hand up and I’d hold on to the bony hand. I’d be like, hey. This is something that’s been kept secret from me for a long time. I don’t think it was a secret. I swear I would have remembered this. I would have remembered this. Yeah, it was great. And so some people didn’t like handing out the bones because they were actual human bones. But I apparently didn’t have a problem. Yeah. But it was a great, you know, you go huff the mimeograph stuff back in the. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was a good time. Very good time. And. Yeah. I always would find that this was the days of the copy cards. So it was kind of like a little like a charge card, but for copying the using the. Right. Yeah.And people would leave them on the copiers all the time. And so I had all these free copies. That was great. Bob would resell these things for a huge profit. No, I would just use them. I would just use them. I made a zine. I made a zine. Yeah. But I didn’t have any money. So I had to use the free ones. And I had money. And you had money. And you were like spending it crazily at Wendy’s. I know. Every night. I’m going to Wendy’s. Too bad I didn’t develop a horrible cocaine habit. Yeah. You just had a Wendy’s habit. Yeah, I got a fat habit. All right. Extra cheese on mine. All right. Put in some bacon. I’m not walking. I drive everywhere. I’ve got a car. I stole a box of bones. What?The thing is, you could not take it out of the library. You had to stay in this area that we were cordoned off with. That’s probably a good idea, yeah. Yeah, and then we were in the basement as well, so it meant not a lot of traffic. I wonder if it even exists anymore. I doubt it. I’ll have to find some schematics. It’s very much a… a product of its time. Yeah. Yeah. This is like, you wouldn’t need it anymore. So yeah, everything’s online. You know what I mean? So you wouldn’t like the guy, like all the guys lectures are just, we’re on tape. Like, well, can we just go to his class and listen to this or something? No, no. That was the whole class. It was a psychology class. Yeah. Literally the only time you went to class was twice a year, once for the midterm and once for the final. Um,Every other time you listened to all his lectures on cassette. It was Bullshit Psychology 101, I think. Yeah, exactly. He was the most popular class and everybody came… I can’t remember his name. I don’t even know. But he would come down every once in a while and he’d be like, do I need to replace any cassettes? Yeah. And I’d be like, not that I’m aware of. Because he thought they would get worn out. But the reality was people weren’t even listening to him. I actually listened to him. Well, they would come and they’d put in it. Because you had to sign it out and everything. So he got the log, right? I think I tried to bag him for an A. I’m like, listen, I did a lot of work. I did all the extra credit. You’re going to give me a B plus if it’s bullshit. Well, he passed everybody. I think I even took that class.He’s like, no, no, no. You’re never going to get an A. Not you. I think I have a psychology minor, don’t I? I think I do. I do. I do. Yeah, I think I got a psychology minor as well. I took the effects of recreational drugs. Oh, that was probably a good class. That was an actual class, yes. Yeah. It did not have a lab, though, to it. Yeah. What do you mean the lab was just walking around? Hey, man. Go over to the Stevenson Arms and you can pick up anything you want. Yeah, chlamydia, tuberculosis. Then was there like a TB outbreak in that building? Yes, there was a TB outbreak at the Stevenson Arms. There was like a dorm called Stevenson Arms. They called it the armpit.CB, if you’re listening to this, you’ll know what I’m talking about. Yeah, CB will be totally tuned in to this. I think I went over to visit or something like, oh, everyone’s got TB or something like, I’m out of here. F you. F you. Oh my gosh. We had a friend that lived there and, uh, I dropped in on him once and like, I think he just got done screwing this girl or something. I don’t know. Yeah. Cause she was asking where her, her pants were bumping. I don’t know. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, he wanted me to come in, though. Miles, come on in, man. Yeah, come on. I wonder what happened to him. You know, I don’t know. I think he was a sound guy or something. Yeah, he was working in the movies. I think he did live up in Chicago, I think. Oh, really? Him and Joel’s Sack of Potatoes, yeah. Sack of Potatoes, yeah. Good old Sack of Potatoes.But, yeah, crazy times. Oh, goodness gracious. Oh, the good times. Handing out real skeletons to students and listening to cassette tape. Did you ever clean out those headphones, by the way? Would you, like, get alcohol and clean them? Yeah, I sprayed them. It was like bowling, you know what I mean, where you spray the stuff on them and you wipe them down. Did you, like, do it, like, for every use so you didn’t be like, well. Yeah, I was very diligent about that. No. You work with some nice people. We got to make fun of a lot of nice people there. Oh, yeah, and we talked all about, you know, private matters. Very private. You know, looking back, I didn’t realize how much you were pushing the envelope. I’m like, man, this guy. Yeah, trust me. I mean, I should be in jail for a little bit of harassment, but you should be in jail for a lot of harassment. I don’t know about that. Come on. Yeah, I’m a whole…Yeah, you were asking some very personal questions. I think that’s a little flippity-flop. How much do you weigh? I think I know. How much do you weigh? Well, I was guessing. I was very good at guessing. Yeah, yeah. That’s just a clean one. I can’t even talk about it. That was a skill I was developing in college. What was your body count? What’s your body count anyway? I don’t know. Never ask about that. Come on. No, you were classy. You wouldn’t ask. Classy? I just asked how much you… I bet you weigh 145. God damn it. You were asking about menses. I think it came up in a conversation. I don’t think I started that. That you started. No, I did not start that conversation. You did.You did. I saw you doing the hand motions and everything else. You were doing it. You were doing like the okay sign and then you had like your next finger with the other hand. No, that’s yeah. No. Yeah. That was a topic of conversation I remember one night. But I did not bring it up. Somebody else brought it up. Yeah, you. Yeah. No. The frog in your pocket then. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. No, I think it was a frog in her pocket. Yeah. Okay. Well, oh, she just brought this up on her own. Hey, just so you know, as I recall, I don’t get too close because as I recall, there was some complaining about the monetary spend of men and women. Okay, yeah. Okay, I’ll go with you on that. On a regular basis. And I’m like, what are you talking about? I go, what are you buying that I’m not buying? Yeah. Well, Bob, I have a monthly issue that I have to pay for that you don’t. Okay, this might be true. Okay, this might have happened. I go, well, I mean, how much can that be?That was kind of a personal question. No, she brought it up and I’m like, well, what are we talking here? Are we talking like $20? I mean, this is, you know, back in the nineties. She’s paying like five bucks a month for plugs or something. Five bucks a month. Yeah. That’s what she said. And I’m like, why really five bucks? And at that time, five bucks, shit, that was like two lunches for me. That’s like two hours of work for you guys. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. I mean, it was not cheap, really, huh? The college paid nothing. Yes. It was like, you know, it was just in my end wage. It was so minimum. They didn’t even spell out the word. So I’m like, so yeah, I was shocked that it was that much. And I feel bad for him. Like, yeah, you’re, I guess you’re right. Yeah.I’m like, you do. And then she continued, you know what I mean? And makeup. And I’m like, okay, now wait a minute. I don’t remember that part. I think I was too shocked about the whole, yeah. And then I’m like, you know, you don’t have to buy makeup. She’s like, what are you talking about? And then she’d get all mad at me because I said, you don’t have to buy makeup. It went on and on for the whole night. Yeah. And I think at the time she was trying to get money out of her, her parents were divorced or something. Out of her father to pay for this. Wait, her plugs? Yeah. Oh. It was something very convoluted like that. Her parents were divorced, and she was trying to get money out of her father. Oh, she had daddy issues, and I didn’t know that. Ah, well. No, I don’t know. Maybe. I don’t play that card. Why don’t you tell me that? It wasn’t Mies. Mies had daddy issues, like, from the get-go, but yeah. Yeah.God damn, that girl. I burnt that bridge pretty clear. Oh my gosh. I can’t even see what I did there. Yeah, that was… Anyhow, now you remember. Okay, you might be right about this. I did guess people’s weight. That was true. I think you started that. Oh, no, no, no. That’s got Bob Lament written all over it. I’m pretty sure that was you initiated one of those. I’m like, yeah, I’ll do that. I’m good at guessing. Yeah, they both should have been suspended at that point. Probably. Thank God. It was only the early 90s. Do you know, I just want to say, hey, I’m sorry with the whole Me Too thing. All of a sudden, I don’t know. If you want to sue Bob, go ahead, because he made me do it. Yeah, go ahead. Yeah, sue him. Yeah. All right. Enough of that. But $5 back in the 90s, that was really a lot. Yeah. [su_qrcode data=”https://www.staticradio.com/2026/06/23/damned-expenses/” title=”Damned Expenses” link=”https://www.staticradio.com/2026/06/23/damned-expenses/” ——————————–Bad AI Transcript of the show this week——————————-

Miles gets jealous as Bob describes a freebie that he did not share. GAMES, like old school games, play a few with the Static Radio twist here – https://www.staticradio.com/category/games/ Subscribe Random Show Click Below https://youtube.com/live/jdhH8apWoZE Miles gets jealous as Bob describes a freebie that he did not share. Racer X Bad AI Transcript Who knows what they’re getting down on? They’re getting down on life. What do you think about that? Get down on it. Get down on it. Bye. get down on it this is miles you know what this platform needs? What? Captioning. I want to see my words around the bottom of the screen yeah you say, If it’s on the bottom of the screen, you say. Get down on it. Down on it. There you go. Yeah. Everybody’s tired tonight, Miles. I don’t know what’s going on. It’s the beginning of summertime. In the summertime when the weather is hot. Can we trot up and touch the sky when the weather is hot? Who sang that? Mongo Jerry. Mongo Jerry. Ah, my goodness. Yeah, so doing summertime activities. How about yourself? Yeah, yeah, pretty much. Oh, really? What did you do? Summertime activity. Mowed the grass? I stayed inside pretty much, and then I mowed the grass, yeah. You’re supposed to be the sweaty, fat neighbor. Oh, I am. I am. Okay, well, that’s good. Wish granted. Wish granted, yeah.Yeah, where the camera pans over and you’re, you know, the lawnmower’s smoking and then you’re waving at the camera. Yeah, that’s me. Yeah, you’re sweating profusely. You got like an old kitchen dish towel around your neck. Around my waist. Then that would be like what? A couple of different dozen towels? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think so. What’s weird is the neighbor’s constantly gardening. I’ll wake up at 6 to let the dogs out. I’ll look over. He’s out there. I’m like, Jesus. Really? Maybe he lives out there now. Maybe that’s where he is. I think his wife has banished him out to the garden. I know. He’s just constantly out there. Make some food for us. Does he ever give you any tomatoes or anything? He used to give me egg rolls. You don’t garden egg rolls, I don’t think.Thank you. do you pull them when they’re ready just kind of dig them up okay are you sure you’re not thinking of eggplant no he’s no this guy used to make egg rolls man do you think now that eggplant, since it’s a symbol for penis and texting that whenever people give other people an eggplant, they think it’s rude. I hope so, because my wife just bought her best friend an eggplant ceramic thing. Like when you’re cooking, you put your spoon somewhere to rest it. So it’s like a big penis spoon holder? Yeah. Oh, how interesting. Her friend loves penis. Well, I think that’s true. I was just wondering, yeah, if you’re just like, oh, I had some extra eggplants. You pervert. You know how you like eating free grapes in the supermarket? Well, that’s how she is with – Eggplants? Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. Get down on it. I was given an opportunity this weekend, and it was – all I can say is this opportunity was a total Miles title opportunity that I took full advantage of.You know, you sent me some vague pictures. I go, that son of a bitch. That son of a bitch got some nice freebie somewhere, and he’s going to rub it in my face. I think it was… Personally, it’s one of the nicer freebies that I’ve ever gotten. So I get… Because of the field that I am in, sometimes I am offered free tickets to things and free this and free that. And I just… I usually say no. I say no thanks. That’s okay. But this time I was offered something and it intrigued me. And so I’m like, well, wait a minute. The musical Stomp. That’s right. I got free tickets to Stomp. Yeah, right? It was Sesame Street Live, and I dressed up as Elmo. I cosplayed Elmo. Tickle me. That’s right. Tickle me, children.No, no, no. So they offered up tickets to go to the racetrack here in St. Louis, right? There’s a big racetrack here in St. Louis. There is? Yeah. I think it does NASCAR and IndyCar racing, right? So this is not like the low-end mini sprint midget things or whatever they used to do. This is like real racing. Is it right in the city, though, or is it like out in the suburbs somewhere? Well, I was almost going to be flippant and say it’s just like the bears out in the middle of nowhere. Oh, you son of a bear. Yes, it’s on the east side in the middle of nowhere. But I’ve always been curious. Not that I’m a racing person. I’m definitely not. This is definitely not one of the things that I would –pay money for, but I’m certainly going to take full advantage because number one, they not only offered me tickets, they offered me the box suite tickets where you go in the air conditioning and have free drinks and food. You’re a freaking jerk. And free VIP parking. Oh, you don’t deserve this. You don’t even deserve it. I asked my friend, Hefe, I said, Hefe, do you want to go to the races with me? Not Dr. J, right? No, no, Dr. J. No, Dr. J. This is my friend, Hefe. I’ve known him most of my life. And I said, I go, I got these box seats to the – these box tickets to the races. And I go, I’m probably going to have to talk to somebody, but –I mean, if this is the time you want to go see the races, this would be the time, right? And Jefe goes, I’ve never been. I’ll take you up on your freebie, my friend, right? Yeah, you know who also hasn’t been? Me. Yeah, me. Well, live a little closer, maybe. Jefe just lived real close. Yeah, I know. I’d get screwed again. Thanks. Yeah. Wait a minute. Should I go into the fact that Saturday I was going to meet you somewhere and you ditched me? For all those years, you bitched about me screwing you out of those Star Trek movie tickets. That’s true. The first remake of Star Trek, yes. Go ahead. I’m sorry. Go ahead. So you and Faye get up this beautiful freebie. Well, you wouldn’t meet me in the middle of nowhere…play pinball or something. So I figured there’s no way he’s going to come down here all the way down here to go to the race thing. Yeah, that’s true. So I’m like, all right, Jefe, come over and then we’ll run down to the racetrack. And so we did. So he’s like, yeah, I’ll be your date. And I’m like, what? After all these years, the truth comes out? Yeah. By the way, we used to be roommates for a while. You are very woman-like. Girl. So me and Jefe buzz down to the racetrack. Of course, I have no idea what I’m doing, which is the norm. And I just keep holding up my VIP parking pass to all of the orange-vested idiots that are along the route. And they’re waving me forward, right? Yeah. Yeah.and i’m like, are we going the right way? because I mean, there’s just, it’s just, the races are total fucking chaos. It is total chaos with very minute, uh, times where everything seems to just snap together and work. You know what i mean? There’s people just going in every direction. There’s children running around in their underwear and dogs barking and jumping and And there’s like 100 people in safety vests that just seem to be standing in random places. They’re all my cousins. Yeah, they all look like they all asked me if I was related. Yeah. So we go and I’m like holding up my I printed everything out because I’m totally anal and don’t want to try to use the phone to have them scan it and everything. So I’ve got my, my, not only my VIP, I got my gold VIP parking pass is what it said. Yeah. So I’m holding it up and they’re like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Whatever idiot. Just keep going. Right. And then we, we get into the, we’re right next to the racetrack, you know, and we pull into where they tell me to pull into and,I’m like, wow, we’re really… I mean, right there’s the racetrack, right? Right. And then they have me drive and drive and drive and drive and drive. And the VIP parking is about a 15-minute fucking walk. Oh, not here. Not here. Keep going. No, no. Keep going. Keep waving me. I’m like, this is not fucking VIP. You’re out in the county. Keep going. And Jefe is like, there better be some fucking drinks. That’s all I’m telling you. I didn’t bring any money. He said it was all inclusive. So we park way the fuck down this lane. I don’t even know. It’s like there’s corn. I don’t know what’s going on. So we have to walk all the way back to get to the line. And you get searched.at the racetrack nowadays, which, you know, I haven’t been to the races ever, but I was thinking it would be a lot more lax because, you know, where we live, where I live here and where you live mostly in the Midwest, people just have guns. They just carry them around. You know what I mean? This is not unusual. Yeah. To have people with a gun on their hip or, you know, in their car or in the back of their truck or, I mean, my father-in-law for one was always had like four or five guns within arm’s reach. And he shot himself accidentally. Yeah, he shot himself once, but that’s beside the point. Accidentally. It was accidentally, yes. And so they were a little bit more security-minded than I figured, but they didn’t have you walk through the gate. They just had guys with wands. It was like a porno or something. They just wanded you, suggestively. Yeah.Where were they sticking the wands at? Come up between your legs, you know, stand, spread your legs and put your arms out. And they just like rub it all around you. It was, I’m like, these are, I think these are all volunteers from the defender area. But anyway, I had to have all my, take everything out of your pockets, folks, and stick your arms out. And then they, whoo. you know, and of course they had the bag checkers, which thankfully we did not bring bags because we traveled light. You know, we were like yeah it’s all inclusive, right? We got everything. So we didn’t bring nothing with us. People had like got jugs, these giant jugs of water and stuff. Jugs of water you do they’re like pulling pulling coolers behind them. It’s likeI’m like, are we like on a jungle expedition? What the fuck is going on here? B-Y-O-W. Tents and, you know. Anyway, porta potties are dragging behind. Anyway, the Confederate flags. Yeah. So we go through the line and we get split up because, you know, we’re guys and we just kind of wander off. And we come out on the other side and I got a dot on my hand. He didn’t get a dot. He goes, well, what the hell? Am I supposed to have a dot? I’m like, I have no idea. I go, the guy just gave me a dot. He’s like, what the fuck, man? Yeah. So he’s thinking, I’m not going to get into the VIP lounge now because he didn’t get a dot or something. And so then we had to go ask everybody where we’re going because we have no idea. And of course, where they parked us at is the, you know, hell it’s, you know, the knobs end.to where we’re supposed to be, but we have to truck it all the way down the length of the racetrack to get to the, uh, VIP suites. Right. They’re like, Oh no, you want to be all the way down there. And, uh, in turn one, by the way, that’s where we were. You’re in four. You need to be a turn one. I didn’t have a side-by-side waiting for you guys to be in VIPs and all this. One would think, right. Yeah. Well, unfortunately, they did, but we weren’t aware of that until we got down to the VIP section. We could have jumped on any one of these six-person golf cart things they had running around, but we didn’t know that because we hadn’t got down and got our little bracelets. We got bedazzled, so we finally get down to the suites, andYou know, they’re like, hey, stick your hand. Let’s see your ticket. Right. Scan your tickets and then arm out. And then they put two different little things on our wrists and clamped them on. Like we’re going to the, you know, county fair or something. You know, you can ride any of the yellow rides, you know. So then we’re in front of this big building. It’s like a four story building. This is the suites. Oh, wow. And I’m like, well, where’s we’re in four 18. Oh yeah. You’re all the way at the top over on that end. So I’m like, it’s hot as hell. Let’s go and see if we can get something to drink. You didn’t bring your jug. No, I didn’t bring a jug. And so we make our way up to the fourth floor and into four 18 and there’s nobody in there. It’s just us. Yeah.And there’s like a small spread, right? Like there’s a veggie tray and like a charcuterie. A schmear. A schmear, yeah. And some cookies and some chips and the whole thing. I’m like, wow, look at all this. And nobody in there. And then there’s a cooler full of Bud Light, Michelob Ultra stuff. Some kind of margarita drink in a can. Some kind of other wine cooler-y thing. I don’t know what it was. Some water and some other stuff. Appletinis. So Hefe hits the fridge pretty hard right out of the gate. He’s got like two McAltras and a plate of food at this point. And I’m looking around still trying to figure out what’s going on. And he’s like, look, they got chips. Anyway, so we sit down, and they had several races yesterday. And so we sit down and start watching the race. And then two of the other guys show up, and they look around, you know, and they get something to drink or whatever. And they’re like, hey, we’re going to go down to the pits. I’m like, what do you mean? He goes, yeah, we got pit passes.that’s what the yellow thing means on your two bandanas. Oh, shit. I’m like, really? He’s like, yeah, we’re going down to the pits. And I go, well, we were like hot and sweaty we’re like we’re gonna wait a few minutes, then we’re gonna head down there so so then we, you know, eat some stuff and drink some stuff. And jefe’s got about, you know, three or four beers in at this point. And So we decide we’re going to go down to the pits. Yeah. Right. We walked back downstairs and they have like a stand with a gaggle of, of, uh, I mean, if this gig were to pay better, this was a gig for you. They sit with an umbrella and then just tell people where to go. That’s our whole job. So we come down and the guy’s like, he’s like, well, I go, I told we, I’m told we can go to the pits. And he goes, yeah, you guys got pit passes. He goes, yeah,He goes, it’s all the way down by turn four. Oh, Jesus. But he goes, well, wait, if you just want to stand here, the golf carts are coming by. And so this is the golf cart we missed at the beginning, right? Yeah, yeah. And so this dude comes flying up on this golf cart. Everything’s rocks. That’s the other thing that was weird. It’s like there’s no pavement, Harley. There’s fucking rocks everywhere. Really? I wore sandals, and I’m getting rocks across my sandals. i’m getting rocks in my car. So we hop in this golf cart and the dude’s like, where you guys going we want to go down to the pits. He’s like, hang on. I’m for timer. That’s right. He just takes off like a fucking shot. Jeff Gordon. Yeah. And we’re going behind all of the vendors that we walk through, like all of the, you know, fried snicker bars and all that kind of stuff oh yeah me you knowYou know, going all over all the cables. And so then he takes us down and he dumps us off right… We go under the racetrack, by the way. That’s what you have to do. I didn’t know that either. I’m like, how are we going to get to the pits? Because there’s a fucking race going on. Anyway, we go under the racetrack. That’s the hard part. Got to be quick. Pepe, come on. So we go under the racetrack. And he drops us off right there at the end of the pits. I mean, it’s like all fucking there. Wow. And you can walk. So you’re in the middle of the racetrack at this point. And there’s all these semis and people wearing coordinated uniforms and things. And it’s like, there’s AJ Foyt’s car.He’s got a racing team. He’s dead, but he’s got a racing team still called. No, he’s still alive. Look at him. There’s Mario Andretti has got cars. These are all indie race cars. Yeah, right. They’re working on them and you can walk up. They have little, you know, those little seatbelt looking vinyl things that you can’t get past. But there’s all these people taking pictures and. I mean, it’s a fucking scene and a half, right? More importantly, we’re like hot chicks down there, more importantly. They were pretty much everywhere, yes. I mean, you take the good, you take the bad, my friend. There was a lot of really, really sweaty women that looked like you. Ooh, sexy. And then there was a lot of women who obviously were looking for a race car driver. So there’s a lot of Blairs and a lot of Natalies. Is that what you’re saying? A lot of Tooties and Natalies. I’m assuming a lot of Joes, but they were wearing baseball caps, so I didn’t know if they were what they were. Okay.But it was wild because you just walk right up. These guys are working on these cars. Because there’s three races, there’s multiple things going on. So the guys who were working on their cars were for the later race. And then the other ones were racing. And it was crazy. And then they’re pulling cars, the extra car out of the trailer to come over to get work done. It was just like, I’m surprised that people didn’t get hurt really bad because these things were running backwards. And you were walking in the middle of all of it. It was just crazy. You know, it’s just, uh, and hot, uh, rocking a piss right in the middle of it. I’ll get to that. So, so we, we do a tool tour of the pit area. We see the dudes that we saw upstairs, uh,And they were like little fanboys. They were from Mexico. So they’re like, we were waiting for the Mexican driver, and we were standing outside his trailer, but he never came out. Oh, wow. And I’m like, well, maybe you guys just need to hang out longer. I don’t know. So we go around, and we see everything there, and then we have to make our way back. And we finally get the hang of this VIP thing, because when we walk back out, there’s this lady with a golf cart, right? And she’s like, she’s, she sees our little wrist bandanas and she’s like, Hey guys, come on. And so we hop on and she takes us back down to the, uh, VIP section. Sure. And then, you know, we watched the rest of the race and, and so forth. The first race that we were, there were several races. We were there at the second race and there’s going to be another race, right? The big race. And, uh,And then he’s like, oh, I’m going to have one of these margarita things. And I’m like, all right, you’re going to be okay. You got to drive home from mine. And so he’s like, this is pretty good. He’s like, he holds a can of 12.5% by volume. Holy shit. Wow. Yeah, really alcoholic. And so then I took a picture with a winner who happened to be named Miles with a Y. Yeah, I saw that. Yeah. So anyway, then they, we pillar and then they’re like, Hey, you guys go up on the roof yet. That’s what I said. I’m like, there’s more. And the building we were in, we were on the fourth floor. You could go all the way to the roof, which is the fifth floor. And they have a whole like big patio area up there. You take your drinks and,And you go and watch the race from four stories up. No kidding. Yeah. It was by that time it was fairly nice. So we went up there and they had this whole big thing with every, I don’t know around here. How, I mean, if you wanted to commit a murder last night would have been a good time to do it. Yeah. Because there was like 50 fricking cop cars did a lap. Yeah. At this race from everywhere. My grandma’s dying. Where are the cops at? Where are they? No kidding. I’m serious. There was at least 50 or more cop cars. It was some salute to police officers or something. It’s like every cop within 100 miles came down here for a free day at the races and was doing a lap in their car. And then they all turned on their sirens and everything. It was a whole spectacle, right? And there was 12 motorcycle cops to boot. Yeah. Chips, you know.So anyway, I’m almost done. I’m sorry. So we sit down for the big race, and the big race is called the Bomberito 500. Bomberito is a big car dealership down here in St. Louis. And so on the TV, because we’re sitting in air-conditioned comfort while the masses are sitting out there sweating their nuts off in the stands, because it was like 80-some degrees last night. And so John Vomarito’s on the TV. Welcome, everybody, to race day. You know? Biggest life. And I’m like, oh, look at that. And then, you know, let’s start the races. And then they start the races. And they get the cars going. And then I think it was the second lap or the third lap before they, you know, flew the green flag to get everybody racing. We’re sitting…on the opposite side of the track from where all the people are, there must’ve been, I don’t know, 15 fucking fire bombs went off up into the air. It’s called the wall of fire. I found out this wall of fire happens and the shock wave pushed the building. We were in backwards. Oh shit. You could, the windows rattled. You could feel it on your chest. I felt the whole building go. Yeah. I was like, Holy fuck. What the hell? This thing’s going to collapse. We’re on the fourth floor. So all that happened. Meanwhile, Hefe is throwing back a few more. He stopped on the margarita stuff, but he picked back up on the ultra Michelob ultra. Yeah. It gets to be time. We’re like, okay, time to go. We’re heading out and we are heading out to go back to walk into the car. We get down there. Of course, everybody’s on the go-karts, right on the golf carts. He’s like, let’s just hoof it, man. I’m tired of waiting on these golf carts. We’re going to bolt to go just start walking. What does he do? He just aboutUp ends John Bomarito, who is walking towards us. Oh, Jesus Christ. he steps out of line and john bomarito is walking up towards the air-conditioned area with his family, I guess. And he just about clocks him right out. Oh, Jesus Christ. i go f a that was john boberino he’s like, who’s that? He’s the guy who paid for this race. It’s vinnie boberino He’s like, I didn’t see him yeah no yeah it was him. It was, because i saw him on the big though i knew who it was. I recognized him and i’m like oh jesus going to be like some kind of incident here and i’m never going to get anything free again because my friend knocks out the uh sponsor of this multi-million dollar race i’d like to see you guys go to jail well there was 50 freaking cops there yeah i know no problem they would have beat the crap out of you the terrible thing is there was cops from where we both live were there so they could have even got us you know from our own areas so yeah right for realSo then we have to trump, you know, the 15 plus minutes to get back to the car. And then we’ve lost the car because this isn’t like Disneyland. They don’t really have any markers. Yeah. And it’s pitch black. And they’ve, all they have is like these, you know, spotlights from Hogan’s heroes. They’re blasting you in the face from the ground level to make some light in there. Yeah. It’s like, God damn it. And then we’re walking. I’m like, I don’t remember there being a pond here. by a pond so we’re wandering around in the dark trying to find this thing and of course jefe’s like oh god i gotta piss Yeah. And so I keep hitting my fob, right? Trying to make, I make my horn honk cause I’m locking my door. Right. And, um, finally we see it and he’s like, oh, I really gotta go. I really gotta go before we leave. I’m like, all right, man, we’re just in the middle of this parking lot. And so I thought he was going to pee next to my car. Cause he started like heading, like he was going to do that. Right.And then he went down to this SUV, and he pisses all over the back of it. That’s John Bomarino’s car, man. He’s doing that where he’s standing there looking around like, has anybody seen me pissing? Yeah. Yeah, so he pissed out on some, I don’t know what it was. It was like some Mercury Mountaineer or something. Right on the car? Well, it seemed to be on the bumper, yes. Oh, gee. Christ, what the fuck? Towards the back tire. But I don’t know what he hit because I wasn’t paying that close attention. But I wasn’t staring the guy down while he was pissing on him out in the parking lot. And there’s people walking around. I mean… So anyway, we hopped in the car and that was the night, you know. So I’m tired. But we had a good time. I’m like, now I can never go back to the race, right? Because…Not with this jackass, no. No, I mean, because I’ve had the VIP experience. I cannot go back down to being a regular husband. You can’t be a peasant, man. Yeah, well, they had sandwiches later, too. I forgot to mention that. But anyway, they had other food that came. But yeah, and Jefe, he pretty much drank my share of of any beverages that we had there. So how’d he get home though? I mean, wasn’t he too drunk to drive or apparently not. He made it. So I took him back, took him back home. I’m like, you’re going to be all right. Yeah. Yeah. How much Bob cares about people. Well, see you later. Yeah. And then he’s like, wait a minute. I got to pee in your yard. Anyway. No, he didn’t. I don’t know. I’m a rock and piss on you. Oh,i said, I go like, I’m like, be careful. There’s all these deer around here. Yeah. So anyway, he was doing okay. He, he kind of stopped. He held back a little bit there toward the end of the night. So, and he ate, he ate a couple, three sandwiches, I think. But yeah, it was fun though. Um, in a weird way, not anything that i would really want to do mostly, but, uh, right. I mean, it was kind of like, you know, the state fair wrapped in a, you know. Yeah. But, well, I didn’t realize that you would be so interested, to be honest. I could have asked you. Oh, I wouldn’t. Yeah. But, you know, if I get offered again, maybe, I don’t know. We’ll see. You get a football game, I’ll go or something like sporting. We don’t have football anymore. They left, you know, so.Well, if you have a sporting thing or something, I’d go see a blues game or something. There’s no way they’re going to give me blues tickets. Nobody like me gets any kind of good blues tickets as giveaways. I’ll tell you right now. Really? No, no. You really got to be… I mean, blues tickets in the freebie world down here are pretty high. You got to be pretty important. Okay. I’ve sat… When the Rams were here… I never really got free stuff. My wife used to get free stuff. We got in a box at the Rams game once. That was fun. I could never go back. We got in the box for Riverport, called Riverport at the time, for Blues Traveler concert. I could never go back there. Too good. Yeah. She got to go to the Blues game, but no spouses there.Oh. Yeah. One time. And then I’ve gotten Cardinal tickets, you know, but whatever. Who wants to do that? If you get like a Cubs Cardinal one, I’d go. Again. See, they’re shooting for the moon here, my friend. There’s no way they’re giving away… I just don’t want some bullshit thing, you know, like the Home and Garden show or something. I don’t want that. That’s my speed. That’s what they’ll give me. Home and Garden. I’ll get, you know, women’s professionals. They’ll give me one of those. My sister used to win shit like this all the time on the radio. And she’s like, Miles, do you want to go to the Home and Garden? Like, fuck no. Why do I want to go to the Home and Garden show? You’re such a dick. I got only with the crop of freebies, please. You want to see Lipizzan Horses?No. No, I get soccer tickets offered to me. I get arena football offered to me. Oh, do you get the Battle Hawks or whatever? Yeah, that’s the arena football team. Oh, I want to see the Battle Hawks. Well, if I get another one, I’ll ask you, okay? Come on, man. Don’t cheap out. I’ll ask you if I get tickets for that, I’ll ask you if you can go. I will go. I will go. I will go. But the thing about this one was I got parking too. That was the clincher for me. I’m like, I paid absolutely nothing to go to this thing last night. Well, good. You got a good buzz. You got to pee on a mountaineer. The world was perfect. Nice. So there you go. There you go. Myrv.Miles, Mr. Freebie Battlehawk Bastard. [su_qrcode data=”https://www.staticradio.com/2026/06/09/racer-x/” title=”Racer X” link=”https://www.staticradio.com/2026/06/09/racer-x/” ——————————–Bad AI Transcript of the show this week——————————-

Paranormal the New Normal Jeremy stops by and talks to Bob and eventually Miles about psychics, remote viewing, UFO/UAPs, Bigfoot, and all sorts of paranormal happenings in the neighborhood. Paranormal the New Normal https://youtube.com/live/LPKFnnWSk_Y