Listener question: what now?

[Follow up to 15 October podcast) Thank you so much for your podcast on my question.I‘m trying to write to you and describe what happened but I don‘t really know how. After listening to your podcast I cried for a while.. a space opened up. And things felt very different than usually before concerts.. almost to the point that I got suspicious if I should become more nervous again.. Afterwards I had a beautiful concert experience. I almost feel a bit ungrateful to ask this follow up question but it seems somehow important right now.. If a concert is a moment where I get challenged to let go of my selfidentity.. What happens afterwards?I noticed that after the concert I stayed in this amazing „open space“ for another two days. But slowly some habbits started coming back. I endet up occupying my mind with either TV or listening to podcasts, sort of trying to distract myself from something, but this time I didn‘t even know what I‘m trying to distract myself from..I have two more concerts to play but I don’t have this clear vision anymore what needs to get done until then. Also I got a cold which is a thing that seems to happen quite often to me before important events..I suspect that I‘m making up some stories there but can’t really see it.It still feels like somethings are fundamentally different. I don‘t feel so tight and scared anymore.. it almost feels to me that I‘m scared of this new freedom. Is that possible?Sorry for this long E-Mail..