Midwest Madness

Bob and Miles get hijacked by Nanny and the professor this week; chaos ensues. Subscribe Random show from the last 25+ years Random Post https://youtube.com/live/7vESUiLBFw8 Bad AI Transcript of the show this week Hey, Miles, why don't youout that wallet of yours? All right. Again, again with the sound. Geez. I can't. I cannot do this podcast with these stupid things, man. I cannot. Welcome to the Stag Show. Miles, how are you doing tonight? I'm doing really good, Bob. How are you doing? Yeah, I know. You've got one hand in your pocket and the other hand's making a peace sign. Yeah, I've been told. That's what you've been told. Miles has been waiting for this because this is the big reveal here. I just got back from Alaska. And my arms are tired. Yeah, I'm cold and I'm wet. And you swam. Yeah. And Miles has been waiting to hear about this now for over a week. So you've been teasing me with these pictures of you jumping out of the water on the pictures. So I wasn't, I didn't want to tell you at all. Yeah. And my wife ruined it because unlike me, I guess she's a more social person. And so she posted it on Facebook. She's like, we're in Alaska. Yeah.i know your wife reads her stuff, I think. and yes so cat was out of the bag. I wanted to wait till i got back, because i just told you i was leaving. I didn't tell you where i was going, what i was doing. You had actually told me a while back. Yeah, you did actually no because well i told you a while back, I think, that we were thinking about. Because it got canceled one time. So we were supposed to go and then we didn't go. And then this time that I went was like out of the blue a little bit. Because you know why I went this time? You're supposed to say why. Come on, Miles. Keep up your end of the bit here. Well, I'll tell you why. I think you lost your audio now. Because I got a deal. I got such a deal. Will is going to have no interest in this whatsoever. I'm listening. What are you talking about? It's way for it to get funny. I'm like, come on, man.Douglas, on the other hand, is the demographic of where I was at. Because I was on a cruise ship with a bunch of old people in Alaska. Will will be like… I'm 42. I'm 43. I'm not young. I'm 42, just not in base 10. Oh, okay. Well… I'm always 42. Or 41. There's not a person in the world that doesn't want to be black for the mere reason that Will is the same age as Douglas. There you go. What the fuck? You just got to get your bases right. Yeah. Cocoa butter. Cocoa butter. Did you say cocoa butter? You don't look the same age as me. I can't. I'm sorry. So I went to Alaska on a cruise and I knew that there's going to be a lot of old people. Yeah. I mean, that's given. Right. But my wife and I got this thing where we want to get around to all 50 states. And, you know, two of the harder ones to get to are Hawaii and Alaska. We've been to Hawaii a couple of years ago. Right. And opportunity came up a deal like no other. And so we're going to Alaska. Yeah.And so, yeah. So we went. And it was crazy. I won't recommend it to anyone if you don't like flying or being on a boat for an extended period of time. Did you like the old people? Doug? Did you like the old people or not? No. I really don't like people much at all. That's why I'm a cartoonist. I'm kind of, I'm insulted now that you didn't like old people, you know? Well, these aren't the nice old people. These are the old people that are like, where's my free drinks and where's my free food? You know, and they'll run you down. We're not going to get anything free on this podcast. I'm giving you free exposure, Douglas. Douglas Moody, everyone. I'm just asking for a friend. What's that?There are no hookers on this boat. Oh, it's probably loaded with hookers, Will, to be honest with you. I don't have no idea. Oh, okay. If you don't mind to have a 75-year-old hooker, I think you'd be all set. Miles, on one hand there, would be like, let me at it. I want to know. I'd be okay with that. I want to know, you've been swimming with a lot of old farts here recently. Were you just preparing yourself to be around with old fuckers? It was a conditioning, and you're correct. I got my coupons. I'm like, that's what I heard. They need coupons. I got them. Well, it's all inclusive, right? So everywhere you go, if you walk up to the bar, you get a drink. If you go to a food place, you get food. You just say, hey, it's me. Give me some food. Give me a drink.pinching ass. Yeah, and they go, oh, Mr. LeMond, of course. I should have recognized you. There you go. We thought we saw you breaching the water outside, and we didn't know you were inside. Don't you have a show to do here in about 10 minutes? Where they calling you, Shamu? Show up. Wheel of misfortune. That's a cell plug, but it's going down. Oh, yeah. So back to this cruise. So you're saying they ain't had no young hoes over there? No. No young what? Young hoes, like 21 and up. I did not. There was very few people. You didn't do no research. I get what you're saying. Yeah, younger. I mean, there was like kids. And then there was old people. Oh, man. We got to try something. Was Bill Belichick on it or?No, because his wife was younger, right? He didn't bring his girl. He wasn't there with his girlfriend. There probably was a smattering of young people on the boat, but not a lot. It was a lot of old people and a lot of old people who probably needed to be with an attendant. I like that. My wife says I should be. So I don't know. Maybe I don't know. Yeah. I mean, I'm a cartoon. I think Douglas is doing his Adobe character thing with this Mr. Stevenson skin on over there. So that way he looks a little older than he is. But no, it was. But it was still fun. I'll tell you that it was still kind of fun. It just was a little difficult sometimes, you know, when the passageways were full because of the slow-moving vehicles and, you know, the parade of scooters that were going down the hallway. And, I mean, I saw Miles' future in the hover round on the cruise ship. Hey, screw you, man.Were there any trapezes in the bedroom or anything like that? Not in the one that I had. Maybe you can order that as an add-on. I'm not sure. I thought I was hoping. It's very small. Anybody been on a cruise ship? Any of you here? No, I was on a ship, but that was in the 1800s with my family. Oh, my God. That's going back, yeah. Well, history as well. A little history lesson there. Well, everything's very small, right? They keep it all tight. Basically, we had a bed and you could barely walk on either side of the bed. That was how wide the room was. I didn't pay for this, obviously. It was a very good deal. That's good. If you and your wife are in the bed every time, that sounds good to me. Well, hey.And the bathrooms are real tiny too. They have these tiny little bathrooms that basically the bathroom is not even this. And Miles has been to my house. The whole bathroom is no bigger than my shower. Wow. Okay. Which is, I got a large shower here, but that's everything. That's toilet, you know, sink, shower, the works. It's actually smaller than that. Wow. No kidding. I told my wife, I said, because you step into the, The shower that was on the cruise ship was like the shower that Miles used to have in his basement. He may still have it. I don't know. I still have it. No, you used to. Basically, you step into it and you're rubbing up against the walls. I mean, that's how tiny his shower is. It's small. I told my wife they needed to have like a rotisserie, you know, like a rotating thing where you just step on it and then they spray water and let you spin around. I see.That'll be more effective, you know what I mean? Is your wife very buxom? Does she have a problem? That's a bit of a personal question, Doug. I've only met you here about two months ago. I mean, you're talking about going in the bathroom with your wife. I mean, what can I say? We couldn't both be in the bathroom. I think that's part of the plan here. Let's talk about her cake. That eliminates Bill and Douglas' need for whores and double it up in the shower. Does she have cake? Yeah. Yeah. No, but no, it's very tight and tiny, you know. Maybe, but I couldn't understand her and I wasn't going to bend down to listen to her on the scooter. I like the scooter idea. You like the scooters? Okay. Yeah, I do. I do.I don't have a scooter yet. I didn't realize we opened up the perv room tonight with you guys. I asked a real question. I'm sorry. I mean, we're asking what's on our mind, really. Yeah, okay. It was a lot of fun. We got to see Alaska, right? The funny thing is probably one of the best things that I took away was we start in a town called Whittier. Whittier, Alaska. And Whittier, Alaska is known for the fact that everybody lives in one big building. There's a big building. It looks like a hotel looking thing. Literally, everybody lives there. It's like apartments. That's where you get on the boat because it's an old harbor. I thought, this is the coolest thing. What are you doing, Will? It sounds like a perfect plan for an orgy. I'm like, everybody in one building. I don't know. Miles, did you send this guy notes or something? What aboutWas there any reverse cowgirl in the ship at all, Bob? Could you talk about that? I thought Whittier was kind of the coolest thing. And we got on the boat and then you go, you know, trucking on down the coastline. Where's the church at? How about that? They didn't have a church on the boat. I did not participate. I could have gone to Bible study, but I did not. How long was it? It was a week. It was a week, yeah. Well, six days, I guess. Six days, yeah. Wow. There you go. I'll just take your questions. What's the next thing that's popping into your dirty little minds? You ever try the Rusty Trombone? That was like a light bulb went off there for a second. Yeah. I think I got him. Give me a second. He said the Rusty Trombone....