Missing who we were before...

Nobody really tells us about this part of parenthood: that in becoming a parent, we gain so much, and yet, we lose something too.We gain love, purpose, connection beyond words. But we also lose pieces of ourselves - our old rhythms, our freedom, the parts of us that don’t easily fit into the life we live now.Sometimes we miss those parts deeply. And it can feel wrong to say it out loud, like gratitude should cancel out grief. But it doesn’t work like that.We can love our children with everything we have and still ache for the version of ourselves that’s gone quieter since they arrived.That old self isn’t lost. She’s still there, just waiting, like soil resting before spring.Maybe this season isn’t for blooming. Maybe it’s for invisible growth, for root systems getting stronger beneath the surface.And when the time comes, those parts of us will rise again; stronger, wiser, and just as much a part of us as ever.For now, it’s enough to honour them quietly, to miss them without guilt.Because loving our whole selves - the seen and unseen - is part of our parenting story too. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kimmccabe.substack.com/subscribe