Perfectionism, Self-Compassion, and Becoming More of Who You Truly Are | Ep58

What if the perfectionism that got you through med school and residency is now quietly sabotaging your well-being, relationships, and leadership? In this vulnerable, soul-sister-style return conversation on Designing Healthcare That Cares, Dr. Laura Suttin welcomes back Dr. Jillian Rigert, for a deep dive into perfectionism's hidden costs. They unpack its roots in seeking belonging and approval, how it shows up as procrastination and resistance, even when creating courses, masking vulnerability, shame spirals, and high-stakes pressure in healthcare and academia.  Drawing from personal stories, near-death experiences, community (like the ACE group), Kristen Neff's self-compassion research, somatic tools like Peter Levine, and Ram Dass's Becoming Nobody documentary, they explore antidotes: beginner's mind, common humanity, boundaries, spiritual connectedness, and reclaiming flow over hustle.  This episode reminds us that true productivity and connection emerge when we strip away layers to become more of who we already are: imperfect, human, and worthy. Three Actionable Takeaways: Tune Into Your Body to Differentiate Resistance from Self-Care: Perfectionism often masquerades as procrastination. Pause and check somatic cues: Does this feel like fear or shame contraction (ugh, avoidance), or genuine preparation for flow? Practice compassionate curiosity. Name the pattern, take a mini-break if needed, then return. Over time, this rebuilds mind-body trust disrupted by years of dissociation in training. Practice Self-Compassion to Counter Shame and Boost Performance: When perfectionism triggers shame, use Kristen Neff's framework: mindfulness (acknowledge "this is hard"), kindness (hand on heart, soothing words), and common humanity ("high achievers everywhere feel this"). Counter shame spirals somatically. Shift to an "authentic pride" posture to reactivate your prefrontal cortex. Research shows self-compassion enhances productivity and mental health more than harsh self-criticism ever did. Cultivate Spaces of Vulnerability and Spiritual Connectedness: Seek or create communities like the ACE group where masking isn't required. Show up raw to experience deeper belonging over fitting in. Tune into the "spiritual channel" (shared humanity, soul-level connection) via nature, eye contact in patient care, or Ram Dass-inspired reflection: At life's end, what truly matters? Let this guide boundaries, release people-pleasing, and prioritize peace over hustle because authentic presence trumps perfection. Episode Mentioned in the Show: Episode 1 - Reclaiming Your Narrative Laura and Jillian discuss the impact of the patriarchy in the medical community and how women physicians can take back power, reclaiming authenticity. About the Show: Designing Healthcare That Cares is where leadership meets humanity. Hosted by Dr. Laura Suttin, the show explores what happens when compassion, connection, and courage come together to transform how we care—for our patients, our teams, and ourselves. About the Guest: Dr. Jillian Rigert (DMD, MD, ACC, TIPC) is a physician, dentist, Air Force veteran, Martha Beck Wayfinder master coach, and trauma-informed professional leadership coach. She partners with high-achievers during life and career transitions, burnout recovery, and identity reclamation. Currently training as a marriage and family therapist with a trauma focus, she brings a holistic, whole-person approach. Her wingman is her dog, Reese Griffin.       Website: jillianrigertcoaching.com       LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jillian-rigert       Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jillian.rigert       YouTube: A Life True to You About the Host: Dr. Laura Suttin is a physician, leadership coach, and lifelong advocate for designing systems that truly care. After years of navigating the complexities of healthcare, she realized that compassion and connection aren’t just nice-to-haves—they’re the foundation of great medicine. Today, Laura brings that vision to life through her work as a consultant, speaker, and host of Designing Healthcare That Cares. She helps healthcare leaders and clinicians rediscover their purpose, build resilient teams, and lead with both strategy and soul. When she’s not interviewing changemakers or guiding organizations, you can find her sharing stories that remind us all why we got into medicine in the first place—to make a difference, together. 🌐 Website: drlaurasuttin.com 🔗 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/laura-suttin-md/  📸 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/purposefulMD Register for the Clinician Leadership Compass course to combat overwhelm and burnout.: www.thepurposefulmd.com/courses   The Designing Healthcare That Cares Podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and does not constitute medical, legal, or professional advice. Always consult qualified professionals regarding personal or organizational decisions. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.