Practical Mindfulness for Anxiety: Lessons from a Former Monk on Healing, Presence, and Personal Power

Introduction: Finding Calm in the ChaosIt’s no secret—we’re living in overwhelming times.Many of us wake up each morning with a tight chest and a racing mind, scrolling the news while wondering, What happened now? Anxiety is no longer a rare diagnosis—it’s a way of life. Add to that grief, uncertainty, and a fast-paced world that rarely gives us space to breathe, and we’re left yearning for peace that actually sticks.That’s where this conversation with Stephen Schettini begins.Stephen, a former Buddhist monk turned author and mindfulness teacher, joined me on the Grief 2 Growth podcast to talk about something we all desperately need: practical mindfulness for anxiety. Not just spiritual theory. Not just “zen” for social media aesthetics. But real tools to stay grounded when everything feels like it’s falling apart.And the best part? You don’t have to become a monk to get it.What Is Practical Mindfulness—And Why Most People Get It WrongLet’s be honest. You’ve probably heard someone say: “I can’t meditate. My brain won’t shut off.”Stephen hears that a lot too. His response? That’s completely normal. In fact, it’s the point.“People think they’re failing because they can’t stop their thoughts. But no one can. That’s not the goal. Mindfulness is about watching your mind—not silencing it.”– Stephen SchettiniMindfulness has become a buzzword. But at its heart, it’s simple: paying attention to what’s happening, without judgment, in the present moment.You don’t need incense. You don’t need to chant. You just need to notice.When anxiety shows up, mindfulness helps you see it rather than become it. That small shift—being the observer instead of the reactor—can change everything.Monastery to Main Street: Stephen’s Journey of TransformationStephen didn’t set out to become a spiritual teacher. In his twenties, he was angry, restless, and felt completely lost.Raised in post-war England, he craved meaning. But school left him uninspired. University felt hollow. By the time he was in his early 20s, he hitchhiked across continents and eventually landed in India—where he discovered the Tibetan Buddhist community of Dharamsala.He became a monk and stayed for eight years.“They had something I desperately needed. A sense of belonging. A sense of direction. A sense of stillness.”– Stephen SchettiniBut in time, Stephen’s journey took another turn. The deeper he got into the tradition, the more he felt conflicted between dogma and truth. He was told to teach all aspects of Buddhism—including parts that didn’t feel authentic or helpful for modern seekers.So, he walked away.And that’s when the real work began.The Misunderstood Power of SilenceOne of Stephen’s most powerful lessons is found in his book, It Begins with Silence.Silence is more than absence of sound. It’s a gateway to truth. To clarity. To seeing yourself.But most of us avoid silence. Why?Because in silence, the mind gets loud. We’re confronted with everything we try to suppress: fears, regrets, self-judgment. And yet, Stephen insists that this is exactly where insight lives.“Insight isn’t calm. Insight is seeing clearly. Even when what you see is messy.”– Stephen SchettiniIn silence, we reclaim our power. Not by controlling our thoughts, but by witnessing them.Grief as a Catalyst for GrowthThis episode hits at the heart of Grief 2 Growth: that pain is not the end of the story. It’s a beginning.Stephen’s grief wasn’t the death of a loved one—it was the death of identity. The loss of a worldview. The collapse of everything he thought would give his life meaning.“When I left the monastery, I felt completely alone. No support system. No community. I was just… ordinary again.”– Stephen SchettiniAnd that was painful. But it was also transformational.Whether you're grieving a person, a purpose, or a belief system, that loss can become the soil where something deeper grows. You’re not being buried. You’re being planted.Mindfulness in a Chaotic World: Staying Sane with PracticeLet’s bring it into 2025.We’re in a time of massive uncertainty—political division, wars, economic stress, misinformation, and burnout are everywhere. Many people want to escape. Some disconnect. Others despair.Stephen offers a third path: grounded presence.“We think inner peace means ignoring the world. But without outer peace, there is no inner peace.”– Stephen SchettiniMindfulness helps us face reality without becoming consumed by it. It helps us move from reaction to response. From overwhelm to agency.You don’t have to know what’s coming. You just have to be here, now.Why Self-Knowledge Is the New SuperpowerIn the West, we value doing. Accomplishment. Knowledge accumulation.But Stephen says real transformation is not about adding more. It’s about unlearning.“We think we have to become someone. But mindfulness helps us see who we already are—beneath the layers of conditioning.”– Stephen SchettiniWhen we slow down and observe our thoughts, we begin to see patterns. Beliefs we didn’t realize we had. Triggers. Trauma responses. Ego defenses.This awareness isn’t always comfortable. But it is liberating.Because once you can name what’s running you, you can begin to change it.Building a Mindful Life: Tools, Structure, and CommunityOne of the most valuable parts of this episode is the practical advice for building a sustainable mindfulness practice.Stephen runs Mindfulness Live, a Zoom-based group that meets three times a week for short, guided sessions. Why?Because practice without consistency fades. And practice without support can feel isolating.You don’t need to go it alone. Whether it’s a Zoom group, an app like Insight Timer, or even a text buddy who meditates with you, accountability makes a huge difference.Structure leads to freedom.Set a timer. Light a candle. Sit for five minutes. Journal what comes up. Start simple—and keep showing up.Key Takeaways & How to Begin Your Practice TodayHere are five steps you can take today to integrate practical mindfulness into your life:* 🧘 Start Small – Sit for just 5 minutes a day. Don’t try to stop thoughts—just observe them.* 🧠 Name the Patterns – Notice recurring beliefs, anxieties, or reactions. Labeling helps create space.* 📓 Journal Your Insights – Write what comes up. It deepens awareness.* 👥 Join a Community – Find a class, group, or app that gives you structure and support.* 🧡 Be Gentle with Yourself – Some days will feel messy. That’s not failure—it’s the work.Conclusion: You’re Not Broken—You’re BecomingWe live in a world that constantly tells us to be more. Do more. Achieve more.But what if your anxiety isn’t something to conquer—but a teacher? What if your grief isn’t an ending—but an opening?Through mindfulness, you begin to listen—not just to the noise of the world, but to the whisper of your soul.“The path begins when you stop relying on doctrine—and start listening to your own insight.”– Stephen SchettiniYou’re not alone in this. And you don’t have to figure it all out. Just take the next step.🎧 Listen to the full episode💬 Join the community at grief2growth.com/community📘 Check out Stephen’s books and Zoom sessions at mindfulnesslive.caThis is your invitation to turn within—gently, bravely, and together. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit grief2growth.substack.com/subscribe This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit grief2growth.substack.com/subscribe