Shocking Text

Miles inserts himself into a high-society text thread, while Bob gets knocked for a loop when Miles drops some news in his lap and then fails to answer any questions. _ultp_btn_ic_right_circle_line_ultp_btn_ic_end_Subscribe Random show from the last 25+ years Random Post https://youtube.com/live/0u49Ihjd-xM Bad AI Transcript of the show this week and then live streaming is on and then i've got to come over here and i have to hit this over here Yeah. Static. Hey, everyone. Miles. Miles, the throat clear. Yeah, I was waiting for that fucking gong sound to go away. I love the gong. Get it on. It's too long. Cut it. Cut it. Get it on. It's not even 30 seconds. I mean, it's… Oh, 30 seconds is all I need. Your honeymoon, but… Well, you don't know a thing about my honeymoon. I had a hell of a good time. Yeah, I'm sure you did. Tantric. Well, I was going to say alone. Oh, okay. All right. Okay. There we go. Oh, my goodness. Hey, everybody. I'm tired. What are you guzzling over there? Nothing right now. You sound like a freaking daffy duck. I don't know. I have no idea what you're talking about. Okay. But I will have a drink now.Oh, okay. Yeah. All right. By all means, take your time. We're here for you. Good friends. Tonight is kind of special. We're here for you. We're here for you, sir. All right. Well, sorry, Mr. Perfect. Good tonight. Good night, Lombrow. Cool. Bye. So… Yep. So… You wonder why I have such trouble getting on the topics. I'll have you know that I'm a lifelong stutterer. And this jack hole is not helping me at all. Oh, look, it's. Back in the late seventies, early eighties. Mel Tillis school of how to quit stuttering. It's come to kill me. How are you going to catch me? I met the man Mel Tillis. He said, whenever you having trouble, like just stop and pause. And then the words will come to you. Or sing. Yep. Right from the mouth of Mr. Mel Tillis. It took him a little longer to say it, but I am a graduate, so. Oh, there you go. So this…A little bit of inside baseball here. Miles and I, we talk every week. We do the show. We talk before the show. You know, I'm very vested in the, you know, the lives and the well-being of his family. Oh, yeah. Okay. All right. Yeah. I'm always inquiring how everyone is doing. Yeah. Make sure that all their new jobs are going well. And you know, all that good kind of stuff. So typically miles does not send me stuff during the week. Hardly at all. In fact, most of the time he doesn't, let's just say that. Right. So I try to have an ongoing dialogue, but there's not a lot of reciprocity in all this. So, um, so yesterday was, yeah, it was yesterday in the evenings.Miles texts me. He's like, for whatever reason, he couldn't send it to me in the text. He's always Mr. Redirect. He's always like, no, don't look here. Look over there. You weren't answering. And so he texts me. He's like, check your Facebook messenger. I'm like, why? What is this? Some kind of scam? Am I going to go over there and then be inundated with something? Yeah, yeah. And so I go, so at this point in time, because I'm trying to get over my stuttering, I'm doing all these podcast guesting things. Yeah. And so I was in the middle of doing a movie review for Jurassic Park or Jurassic World Rebirth. Yeah. And I'm talking away, you know, dinosaur. dinosaur dinosaur, Scarlett Johansson. And I open up my messenger and what do i see? Hey, by the way, our friend tim from college dead. Yes. Like a year ago or more a year and a half ago yes and i'm like and i'm like i'm trying to talk about dinosaurs.And now all I can think about is my poor friend, Tim, who died a year and a half ago. I had no clue. Talk about extinct. Yeah. Nice one. And so then, yeah, now I'm totally distracted. I'm like, what? Is this like a joke? Is it some kind of weird thing from Halloween? Am I going to joke about that? Come on. Get out of here with that. Well, you're Mr. Misdirection. You're like, text me. Go to… Go to Facebook Messenger. Wait a minute. Instagram. Hold on a second. Go to threads. Real stuff's on threads. I'm like following all these breadcrumbs trying to figure out what the fuck's going on. I'm Dr. Lecter and you're Clarice. What is it in itself, Bob? Go in my storage locker and find a head. In it yourself. Yes. Exactly. I'm like, what? And so, yeah. So thenI like text you back. I think I messaged you back. And then radio silence. Okay. I'm like, what happened? What is going on? What is the world coming to? It's all coming down. Everything's crashing. And nothing. And then this morning I wake up. Well, actually, I was awake. I got back from going out this morning to do something. Come back home. I didn't take my phone with me. There's a message from you. Hey, yeah. Let me see what it says. It probably said something stupid. What? Let me go look and see. I can't remember now. You know what? You blow up my messenger with these stupid things. I go, what? I asked you last night before I went to bed. Do you have any idea what happened? Finally, this morning, after like 12 fucking hours, I don't want to say. I don't want to say it. I'm like, he's already dead. You can say it. No, I didn't want to say it. All right.We still don't want to say it. I had to guess. Here's your problem. Tell me what my problem is. You are like having an elderly person on Facebook. You send me the most nonsensical bullshit videos that I could give a fuck about. I say, please don't send all these. No, no. I'm your old uncle. I'm going to keep sending them. Cat videos and Kids getting hurt. Please stop. Please. Please. Limit it to like one a day. Okay. One a day. I'm trying to have a rapport with you. I know. It's too much. It's too much. It's too much. I'm like, hey, have you ever been to the sandwich shop that's close to you? Don't know it. Or I don't hear anything. You just ignore it. So I go on to the next. Because you send me like 70 things a day.Please. Please. Knock it down to one. Maybe four or five on a really active day. Oh, my God. This guy. This is the most nonsensical bullshit. Jesus. You know, it's like, hey, have you ever seen the world's giant gnome? Yeah. It's in your state. It's not that far. I know. I've been to that city. You go to crazier shit. You're like, I went and saw it. No. Had I known it was in that town, yes, I would have gone and seen it. Yes, I would. I had no idea it was there until after the fact. Well, I made you aware of it. And I'm probably never going back to that town again. So, you know. I've been banned. Well, that's different. Yeah. I was texting the mayor of that town. I'm like, hey, by the way. No. You ever hear Ed Gein? Anyway. No.No, that's where the young bar major kind of picked me up, and I had to say no. Yeah, and you're like, don't. You're going to hurt yourself. Don't, don't. Yeah, don't. Yeah. I don't know what a female hernia is, but you're about to get one. You're a vagina. You're going to drop, yeah. You're going to drop some eggs and try to pick me up. That's why, okay? So I don't know if other people have had to tell you this, And maybe they're just trying to be nice. I don't send anybody else anything. That's the funny part. Oh, okay. I get it now. Okay. Only you. My friend. My one friend, Miles. No, because I don't want to bother other people. I think it's funny. Yeah. They might have lives or jobs or something. So I'm not going to send it to them, but I'll send a hundred. I mean, thank God they're not, you know, kitties and puppies and whatever else, but it's just this nonsensical. It's all interesting stuff.Nonsensical. Oh, now I got to look at this. It's so nonsensical. Let me see if I can open it up here. It is so nonsensical. Please. All right. Last five things I sent to Miles Tidal. Let me go back here. Besides the link to talk tonight, because you can't remember fucking shit. Galloping Ghost Arcade in Brookline. F you, man. I've been concussed three times in my life. So F you, man. I'm going to have CTE. I sent you a thing about an arcade in Brookfield up in the burbs. We already talked about that. I actually sent you the obituary of the person who passed away. You didn't send me that. You just said he's dead. Well, right. Yeah. I mean, what more do you need to know? Yeah. And then I sent you a video about the world's largest something or other. And I sent you a thing. It's the last one. The fifth one.about the McPike Mansion, which you and I visited. Right. So why do we have to discuss it? I told you you should have been Jerry Jewell from Facts of Life for Halloween this year. You know, I don't know. Why do we have to rediscuss stuff we've already done? I don't understand that. It's like some old guy retelling the same story, you know, over and over. I thought the Jerry Jewell thing was hilarious. Well, good for you. Anyway, so Miles, like, you know, throws me into the blender hits puree and then leaves it on all night till the next day you know if you're doing a podcast you really shouldn't have been blowing it off and looking at your text messages well because you never said anything i thought it was important i'm like oh my gosh this must be no you do the podcast this is horrible uhWell, we're talking about Scarlett Johansson's cans. Yeah, okay. Yeah, I enjoyed them. Hold on. I got to read this text. I don't think I even mentioned that, to be honest with you. I got to read this text. Oh, shit. No, I kept going. You can probably tell, but I didn't stop. Yeah. I used the rule of five that Mel taught me about stuttering, and I just kept going. Number one, don't stop unless you need to take a pause. That's the second rule. Take a pause. Maybe you should apply this to sending people messages. Okay, stop. You're so sensitive. No, it's too much. Don't blow up my DMs with your bullshit, man. I've been waiting like six months for you to do this. Oh, my God. He will not quit. It is like some elderly relative.I'm like,...