Swats

Bob talks about corporal punishment from back in the day, while Miles struggles to remember his friend's nicknames. _ultp_btn_ic_right_circle_line_ultp_btn_ic_end_Subscribe Random show from the last 25+ years Random Post https://youtube.com/live/6VbGUl6EwtQ Bad AI Transcript of the show this week If I can't work it, then nobody can work it. It's stupid bullshit. It's poorly designed. It's poorly designed. I can't do things. My God. I wish I could do things. Yeah, fuck you. There it is. can do things. I guess Miles is not going to talk tonight. He's all mad now. He's pouting. I'm protesting. I'm pouting. I want tapioca. You know, back in the grotto, when I was at the playboy mansion, things just worked. That's ridiculous. That's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. This website needs to be fixed. Okay. I think it was fixed. It was updated. Yeah, it's a train wreck now. Okay. Train wreck. Anything else today? You're ugly. Okay. I appreciate that. hey everybody. Welcome to bob and disgruntled miles yeah show here yeah yeah miles the disgruntled what do you do whenever, you know, you can't get a door open or something.I usually can get a door open, so I'm not sure how that equates. I don't know. I'm trying to think of something. I generally get mad. You're too in love with technology, Bob. I do love technology. That is true. It'll be our downfall someday. This much is true. This much is true. We're going to end up like that Gary Newman song, Me, is what it'll be. What? You talked right over me. I was trying to talk. I know, I was singing. I know, your horrible singing drowned me out. Okay, I'm sorry. I love technology. It's the greatest. Yes. It'll be the end of the world. All right. Restart the show. Let's restart the show. Hey, everyone. This is Miles. Welcome to Static Radio. Okay. Oh, Miles. Glad you can make it tonight. How are you feeling? Man, I'm having a fantastic time. I'm glad I'm here. Fantastic. You sound like you just got your grade from Cinema 102. Oh, I see. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.oh my gosh. Man, you were earlier, you were fucking around and then you stood out of me and then now the worm has turned. You're right. You are the worm. The worm has turned yes alright alright are you ready? I'm ready. Take three. Hey everyone, this is Miles. Welcome to Static Radio. Glad you're here. Let's get started. Bob? Hey! This is great. Did you find anybody else that I know that has died recently? Yeah, I'm going to wait until after the show, I think, to talk to you. Take you out in the hallway and talk to you. Oh, okay. Grab your ankles, son! Do you ever get swats in school? Who? You ever get swats? Is that like a minority? No, you get swats. You get the paddle. No. Really? I'm surprised. I'm surprised you didn't get swats. No. Really? Okay. Yeah, we were rich. Rich kids don't get hit. Oh, okay. Well, I wasn't. I got smacked at least twice. Really? Or what?Let's see. One, I don't remember. And the other one, it was because I shot this kid in both ears with rubber bands from the back of the bus. Oh, wow. So he had these big ears. Yeah. And we had a bunch of rubber bands. And so we were shooting everybody. And it wasn't just me. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And this kid that lived down the street from me, he was like, he wouldn't, you know, I shot him in one ear from the back and then I shot him in the other ear. And I was in big trouble. He told on me. And I'm like, how could, what could happen? Yeah. I got swats on your bare ass. No, come on. What are you?I'm just imagining it. No, I'm just saying. You had your pants on, but you had to bend over. Did you have to drop your pants? No, no dropping the pants. Oh, I don't know. I never got it. Well, the thing was, you never knew. And so you couldn't pad up or anything. And so I didn't know. I thought it was no big deal. And next thing I know, I'm getting called down. I'm like, guess what? Yeah. How many did you have to take? I think I got two. I got one for each year. But they were good ones. I mean, this is a solid hit. So the principal had a paddle that had holes in it. Oh, those are the best. Yeah. It looked kind of like a cricket bat. Yeah. But with holes. Yep.Yeah, it was not what I wanted to have done. How old were you? What, 20? No, just joking. Probably 10. I was held back a few years. So what? Don't make laugh. Man, don't make laugh. Probably 10 or 11, maybe. I don't know. Yeah, it was terrible. I won't say it really deterred me in the future part, but I was a little more, you know, I picked on the kids who were not as tattly. Yeah, probably a good point. Yeah. So, like, I'd have something on them or something. I'd be like, you tell on me, motherfucker. And I'll… All your nudie bags will be gone. All right. Don't do it. I'm not going to talk. I swear to God. I swear to God. No, you know, I had to have people who were, who had some scruples for Christ's sake. I wouldn't tell on you. All right. Yeah. You don't want to. Yeah. I can't believe you didn't get swats. I mean, you're such a smart ass. I mean, you got a smart mouth. I'm surprised. No, the only time it was mentioned was around middle school. I think some girl got caught cheating.And the teacher was this old guy that would used to go out and smoke all the time during class. He'd come back. Yeah. He caught her cheating. She had like the, I don't know, the answers hidden. I think she was sitting on the answers or something in her thigh or something. Yeah. So I don't know. Anyway, he's like, well, I wasn't going to slaughter, but I'm not allowed to. Oh, so I'm going to swat title. Cause he's an asshole. Uh, I did get, Uh, I did actually, well, no, I got hit once by a teacher actually. I don't really open hand. Uh, I got hit in the, uh, back of his hand. He hit me in the shoulder. Oh, wow. Come on. That was probably accident. No, it wasn't a fucking accident.Are you sure? Sounds like an accident to me. It was an English class. This guy's reading a story about a guy who's riding a horse and gets shot in the shoulder. Uh-huh. Oh, okay. So he was just being dramatic. And he was being dramatic, so he took his hand and back-slapped me in the frickin' shoulder with it. And you get shot like this. Bam! And the nurse of the guy got shot just like this. Like this fat Polish bastard. Pow! Tidal's holding back the tears. Look at his three chins jiggling, kids. What are you talking about? You weren't even fat back then. Nah, I don't know. I always thought I was fat. You were a little skinny guy. Nah, I don't know. I always thought I was a fat kid. You hit my shoulder. No, it was just, I didn't, you know, it's like one of those things, like I didn't expect it. It was just like more like, what? I think I got hit with a ruler several times. Yeah. That was like in grade school.Oh, like the Blues Brothers? Yeah, well, not on the hand, but, you know, like, I don't know, randomly. I didn't get in the face. I know that. I got in trouble for, like, making too much noise walking up like the wooden bleachers. Some old, you know, World War II guy. Todd, will you get your ass down here right now or sit by yourself? That cannot be the sound of these steps. That must be your squeaky asshole. Get down here. Oh, yeah. No, I had some hiking boots on. You get your ass down here. Give it to one of the pushups. Yeah. I got in trouble. I think in trouble a lot, but I got for a quiet kid. I got in a lot of trouble. Yeah. Quiet kid. My ass. Come on. No, I don't.No, I was a quiet kid. I was. No, please. Come on. I was. I was. Let's not put falsehoods out there. Please. Come on. I was not the cool podcaster you know today. Okay. I was kind of a quiet, well-behaved, somewhat well-behaved. Yeah. Not well-behaved. A little smart ass. Yeah. I don't know. You know what? I don't know. I guess. Nothing major, I don't think. Kids don't get swats anymore, do they? Your kids never got swatted. No. Yeah, me neither. Mine neither. I think the worst thing that ever happened to me, I would say middle school. Was being born. Was being born. You see? I know I was in line for lunch, and I had a buddy in front of me. He kind of looked a little bit like John Denver a little bit, but anyway. Rock him out, man.the teacher thought I had punched him very hard in the back or something possibly because you did yeah no I did strike him, but not hard not were you reenacting the gunshot wound I go, Hey, this son of a bitch, you know what he did? you son of a bitch. And he goes, Kyle, come here. I got something special for you. I gotta talk to you, son. Your son, you take your lunch and you go sit down by those trash cans and you think about what you did. I'm like, oh, are you fucking serious? Like, yeah, you're going to. And that was pretty humbling. Yes, that was very. I bet you. I bet it was. If I ever meet that motherfucker again, I'm going to spit in his face. I swear to fucking God. Okay. I will jab a finger in his fucking eye until he's dead.old fucking man he's a piece of shit really yeah i you know even though i got swats i wouldn't say that uh the principal was a piece of shit yeah i deserved it i was being terrible our principal uh we got a new principal when i was like a senior and i don't know why he came up to me a couple times i was eating he started rubbing my shoulders twice i'm like I'm like… One of those principals, eh? Yeah, I think old Miles is being groomed there. I'm pretty sure. Wasn't the first time, nor the last. I can tell you that. Oh, yeah. I bet you were. No, I had a weird thing. The funny thing was the principal gave me SWAT. Yeah. Are you okay there? It's my second job. I'm sorry. I'mI'm at the kennel right now. I'm sorry. Yeah, I was going to say, I'm dog walking. I'm working at the kennel. This is my second job. I didn't want you to know this. I'm washing cars at the same time. Yeah, I've got to go to my car washing job here soon. So he came along and then as luck would have it,...