The 4 Stages of Healing from Trauma

There are 4 stages of healing from any traumatic memory. The first stage is: Victim that of the person who experienced the event and those who care about the individual. In most spiritual traditions, those who carry the memory of what happened hold what is referred to as a 'Mind'. In the Christian tradition, this is called a Month's Mind because it lasts for 30 days. In many Asian traditions, this can last from between 60 & 90 days. In this period, those left behind suffer as though they experienced the trauma as well. Fasting, grieving, lamenting, wearing sackcloth and ashes; berating oneself, isolating, withdrawing from society and social activities. The idea is that we go through the loss, whether  a life or one's innocence And then at the appropriate time, we step out of the victimhood and step into the shoes of the Survivor. The Survivor: this is the primary goal of every individual who has experienced any form of a traumatic event in their past. To clearly understand, it is no longer they that are the victim of the event. It's as if they are standing at one end of a tunnel of time; in the future, looking back on a past event that happened to a younger aspect of them; the victim of that event was their inner child, and not the person they are in the present. Despite what others might suggest or tell us, the past is none of our business in the present. Understanding this, you will never move from the victim stage to survivor until you can grasp the significance of this truth. The past is none of your business. Your inner child wants to leave this plane of existence but cannot because you are holding them hostage, here against their will, and until you release them, as only you can, you'll never get to the next stage of a full recovery.  The Victor: When we come to see that the past is not ours and our inner child never needed or wanted our help to process it, and we thus decide to return all of it to them, that is all the details and baggage of what happened to them, It is only then that they can step into the light, and we break free of the bondage of the past; mentally, emotionally, physically and most importantly, spiritually. We then are in the position to use our experience, strength and hope to help others be returned to sanity. Not everyone goes from Victor to helper. There is nothing wrong with settling into contentment and the peace of mind of having overcome the bondage of the past, and you might feel the urge to be a part of your family snd community once more. And then there are those who feel the need to help others. The Helper: I chose to be a Helper [and I don't know if I am a good one or not] in the hope that if my words get to the right person, they embrace my words and return to society and family life. In time, they start their own family, snd in many years from now, one of their descendants creates a cure for cancer or aids, or, may God forgive me, one of their descendants is the Second Coming of Christ. No one will know the part I played; I will receive no accolades or recognition, but God will know, and ultimately, that is all that truly matters.     Don't make the mistake of making your home in the victimhood of what happened to your inner child That trauma and overcoming it was their meaning and purpose Your Meaning and Purpose can only be found in the action you choose to take now Are you willing to move from Victim to Survivor to Victor?   #healinganytraumamemory #traumarecoveryanonymous