The Cost of Saying Yes | Dr. Shannon Sauer-Zavala | 184

Feedback on the show? Send us a message!What if the reason burnout keeps coming back… isn’t because there’s not enough time but because too much of that time is going to things that don’t actually matter to the life someone wants?In this episode of Manders Mindset, host Amanda Russo sits down with Dr. Shannon Sauer-Zavala, clinical psychologist, professor, and bestselling author for a grounded, eye-opening conversation about values, boundaries, and what it really takes to create change that lasts. Dr. Sauer-Zavala shares her journey from being a “messy, shy kid” to building a career in treatment research, and why redefining success became non-negotiable once motherhood, burnout, and real priorities entered the picture.Together, Amanda and Dr. Sauer-Zavala unpack why burnout isn’t a productivity problem, how saying “no” can actually bring better opportunities, and why values aren’t just inspirational words, they’re behavioral instructions. Expect a conversation that cuts through hustle culture, reframes what “success” is supposed to feel like, and brings everything back to one powerful question:Does this move closer to your values… or farther away? 🧭💡 In this episode, listeners will learn:🧭 Why values are the missing link between wanting change and sustaining change🔥 The 2 burnout mindset traps: treating burnout like an efficiency problem + normalizing exhaustion because “everyone is burnt out”🚫 Why saying no can lead to more aligned opportunities (not fewer)📩 The surprising downside of “Inbox Zero” and why it’s not a life goal🧠 How CBT helps challenge fears like “If a boundary is set, everything will fall apart”📉 Why aiming for 80% effort can reduce overwhelm without lowering performance🧩 A new way of understanding borderline personality disorder as trait vulnerabilities 🧑‍⚕️ How to find the right therapist: what to ask when someone claims they “do CBT”⏰ Timeline Summary: [12:40] Grad school systems: planners, structure, and reducing overwhelm with organization[16:40] Why treatment research matters: impact beyond one-on-one work and “moving the needle”[21:10] Redefining success: stepping away from academic metrics and toward values-based living[27:30] Boundaries and opportunity: why saying no created better-aligned yeses[33:10] Introducing BPD Compass: the book, the framework, and the goal of accessible treatment[38:45] The most hopeful truth about BPD: [46:40] Burnout reality check: it’s not a planner problem, it’s a too-much problemTo Connect with Amanda:Schedule a 1:1 Virtual Breathwork Session HERE📸 Instagram: @thebreathinggoddessFollow & Support the Podcast:📱Instagram: @MandersMindset👥 Join the Manders Mindset Facebook Community HERE!To Connect with Dr. Shannon Sauer-Zavala: Website: https://personality-compass.com/Shannon's Suggested search: “Values identification worksheet”