The Dangerous Idea of the ‘Good Parent’

What if trying to be a “good parent” is the very thing exhausting you?In Stress Awareness month I’ve been reflecting on parent stress, and I think for many of us, the stress isn’t just parenting - it’s the standard we’re holding ourselves to while we do it.Patient. Present. Calm. Consistent.All the time.It’s like we’re quietly measuring ourselves against an invisible checklist, and of course we’re falling short. We’re human.I was talking to a mum recently who was doing everything right. The food, the conversations, the emotional availability. And she looked completely worn out. There was no space for her anywhere in her parenting. She’d become the perfect parent… and disappeared in the process.And I’ve done that too.So here’s a shift: Not trying to be better, but allowing ourselves to be real. A bit stretched sometimes. A bit off. Not always getting it right.Because when we do that, the pressure drops. Not just for us, but for our children too.They don’t need perfect parents. They need ones they can recognise as human.So maybe “good enough” isn’t settling for less, but it’s the thing that makes this sustainable.Thank you for pausing with me. Take care. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kimmccabe.substack.com/subscribe