The Subtle, Insidious Nature of Spiritual Abuse [352] episode artwork

EPISODE · Nov 4, 2025 · 59 MIN

The Subtle, Insidious Nature of Spiritual Abuse [352]

from Flying Free · host Natalie Hoffman

What if the very place you went for safety, love, and divine wisdom turned out to be the scene of the crime? Today we’re diving headfirst into the world of spiritual abuse. This week, I’m joined by Katherine Spearing, founder of Tears of Eden, trauma recovery practitioner, and author of a new book, A Thousand Tiny Paper Cuts. If you’ve ever been told that “God doesn’t want your happiness, He wants your holiness” while you were slowly disintegrating inside, well, friend, you’re in for a ride. Buckle up, because we’re talking:Why spiritual abuse is often so subtle you won’t realize you’re bleeding out until you’re halfway through a panic attackHow high-control religious environments get you to abuse yourself (sick, right?)The toxic theology that turns God into a cranky toddler with a lightning boltKey Takeaways:Spiritual abuse is real, complex, and often normalized. Just because it’s subtle doesn’t mean it’s not wrecking your soul.You’re not wrong for wanting peace, freedom, and autonomy. That’s not “selfish.” That’s survival.Religious trauma isn’t just in your head. It’s in your nervous system, and it needs gentle care to heal.You get to get your mail from God. Not from your pastor, your husband, or some elder board in polyester pants.Patriarchy is the backbone of most spiritual abuse. If your theology only benefits dudes, it’s not the gospel, it’s a con.There’s a whole beach of freedom outside that toxic church sandbox. And God’s not mad you left.Read the full show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereRelated Resources:Grab a copy of Katherine’s book, A Thousand Tiny Paper CutsConnect with Katherine on InstagramHop on Katherine’s mailing list and get some free resources while you’re on her site. Katherine Spearing MA, CTRC is the founder of Tears of Eden, a nonprofit supporting survivors of spiritual abuse, and the former executive producer and host of the groundbreaking podcast Uncertain, a podcast that pioneered pivotal conversations around spiritual abuse. She also is a Certified Trauma Recovery Practitioner working primarily with clients who have survived cults, high-control environments, spiritual abuse, and sexual abuse. Katherine is a huge advocate for the power of art to help us on our healing journey. She participates in improv theater both as a performer and coach and is the author of one novel. A Thousand Tiny Paper Cuts, her new book on spiritual abuse, addresses the survivor’s recovery journey. She has been a guest on a number of podcasts, including IndoctriNation and A Little Bit Culty, is the author of several nonfiction articles, and writes regularly at katherinespearing.com and tearsofeden.org.

What if the very place you went for safety, love, and divine wisdom turned out to be the scene of the crime? Today we’re diving headfirst into the world of spiritual abuse. This week, I’m joined by Katherine Spearing, founder of Tears of Eden, trauma recovery practitioner, and author of a new book, A Thousand Tiny Paper Cuts. If you’ve ever been told that “God doesn’t want your happiness, He wants your holiness” while you were slowly disintegrating inside, well, friend, you’re in for a ride. Buckle up, because we’re talking:Why spiritual abuse is often so subtle you won’t realize you’re bleeding out until you’re halfway through a panic attackHow high-control religious environments get you to abuse yourself (sick, right?)The toxic theology that turns God into a cranky toddler with a lightning boltKey Takeaways:Spiritual abuse is real, complex, and often normalized. Just because it’s subtle doesn’t mean it’s not wrecking your soul.You’re not wrong for wanting peace, freedom, and autonomy. That’s not “selfish.” That’s survival.Religious trauma isn’t just in your head. It’s in your nervous system, and it needs gentle care to heal.You get to get your mail from God. Not from your pastor, your husband, or some elder board in polyester pants.Patriarchy is the backbone of most spiritual abuse. If your theology only benefits dudes, it’s not the gospel, it’s a con.There’s a whole beach of freedom outside that toxic church sandbox. And God’s not mad you left.Read the full show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereRelated Resources:Grab a copy of Katherine’s book, A Thousand Tiny Paper CutsConnect with Katherine on InstagramHop on Katherine’s mailing list and get some free resources while you’re on her site. Katherine Spearing MA, CTRC is the founder of Tears of Eden, a nonprofit supporting survivors of spiritual abuse, and the former executive producer and host of the groundbreaking podcast Uncertain, a podcast that pioneered pivotal conversations around spiritual abuse. She also is a Certified Trauma Recovery Practitioner working primarily with clients who have survived cults, high-control environments, spiritual abuse, and sexual abuse. Katherine is a huge advocate for the power of art to help us on our healing journey. She participates in improv theater both as a performer and coach and is the author of one novel. A Thousand Tiny Paper Cuts, her new book on spiritual abuse, addresses the survivor’s recovery journey. She has been a guest on a number of podcasts, including IndoctriNation and A Little Bit Culty, is the author of several nonfiction articles, and writes regularly at katherinespearing.com and tearsofeden.org.

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This episode was published on November 4, 2025.

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What if the very place you went for safety, love, and divine wisdom turned out to be the scene of the crime? Today we’re diving headfirst into the world of spiritual abuse. This week, I’m joined by Katherine Spearing, founder of Tears of Eden,...

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