PODCAST · religion
Flying Free
by Natalie Hoffman
Flying Free is a support resource for women of faith who need hope and healing from hidden emotional abuse, spiritual abuse, and narcissistic abuse. Because of misogynistic theology taught in controlling and spiritually abusive churches, many Christian women find themselves in destructive marriages where there is an uneven power dynamic. Male partners use their status as a husband to gain power and control over a woman’s mind, emotions, body, social life, finances, and more. When she tries to get help from her equally abusive church environment, she is betrayed and re-abused. Flying Free offers a Christ-centered, gospel-oriented perspective on domestic abuse that protects and honors the voices and autonomy of women. Tune in each week to hear conversations with emotional abuse advocates and fellow survivors who will walk with you on your journey up and out. We hear you. You are not alone. Learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
Episodes
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Don’t Get Divorced Without Reading This Book First: Legally Ending Love [392]
Today we welcome back Arizona family law attorney Wendy Hernandez to celebrate the release of her brand new book, Legally Ending Love, and to walk us through exactly what every woman needs to know before they file for divorce. (Psst! When you buy her book THIS WEEK ONLY, you get a bunch of…
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Why Do Christians Get So Mad When I Talk About God’s Love? [391]
Today I’m going to tell you about the last of the three books I picked as the most life-changing for me so far. I was nervous to write this episode because the book is controversial in some circles, and even I was afraid to read it many years ago. I expected to confront all kinds of lies and...
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How to Deal with Triggers that Make You Spiral Out [390]
This is the second in a 3-part series where I’m sharing the top three books that have changed my life. Last week I talked about the book A Failure of Nerve by Edwin Friedman. This week I will talk about Altogether You by Jenna Remiersma. And next week…well, you’ll have to come back then to hear…
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Why Do People Get Mad When You Change? [389]
A lot of people got mad at me when I started to change over ten years ago. They got so mad, they booted me out of my church and my family. In this episode, I’m going to tell you about a book that changed the way I parent, lead, and show up in my own life. It's a book about what it actually takes…
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"What if I'm the Abuser?" Is There Such a Thing as "Reactive Abuse?" [388]
This is a replay of one of the most listened to episodes in the Flying Free Podcast archives, and it’s such a good one, I thought I’d reshare it for our new listeners! If you've ever screamed, thrown something, said something you regret, and then wondered if you’re the abusive one, this...
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Are You Estranged From a Parent or Adult Child? The Complicated Reasons and Layers of Pain in Parent/Adult-Child Estrangement [387]
Family estrangement. It’s kind of big on social media right now, but not always in a healthy kind of way. Gretchen Baskerville, author of The Life Saving Divorce, has done research on this, and she’s discovered nine types of family estrangement. Chances are, you’ve had a brush with…or are...
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4 Types of Trauma Bond Withdrawal Symptoms You Need to Know [386]
If you are stepping away from an emotionally or spiritually destructive marriage and suddenly feel hit by severe anxiety, physical illness, obsessive thoughts, or a desperate urge to run back, you may be experiencing trauma bond withdrawal. When a relationship alternates between unpredictable...
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What Is the "Tradwife" Trend Really Selling Christian Women? [385]
In this episode, we’re doing something a little different. I’m opening up my private monthly book club discussion (usually just for Flying Higher members) and sharing it with you. This month we read the bestselling novel Yesteryear by Caro Claire Burke. We get into the tradwife aesthetic,...
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Is Emotional Neglect Abusive? [384]
Let’s talk about emotional neglect. Can we really categorize this as “abuse?” I say we can, and in today’s episode, I’m going to tell you why. In this episode, you’ll learn: Five specific ways emotional neglect shows up in a marriage Why silence can be more controlling than yelling What your...
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What's Gaslighting? Part Two: Four More Narcissistic Gaslighting Tactics and How to Unhook
This is part two of our series on the subtle gaslighting tactics emotional abusers and narcissists use in Christian marriage. You'll hear four more specific examples of what he says, why he says it, what it triggers in you, and the precise words to say back so the tactic stops working on you for...
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What's Gaslighting? How to Spot the Subtle Signs You're Being Manipulated Part One [382]
Today we’ll talk about one of the most disorienting experiences Christian women in emotionally abusive marriages face: gaslighting. But we aren’t going to just define what gaslighting is. I’m going to break it down into all the tiny parts and give you some specific stories so you can see exactly...
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Healing From Religious Trauma: A Survivor's Roadmap with Tia Levings [381]
Tia Levings is the New York Times bestselling author of A Well-Trained Wife and her newest book, I Belong to Me. She survived a Christian patriarchy cult, escaped a near murder-suicide, was excommunicated for telling her own story, and spent 15 years in intensive trauma therapy doing the work to...
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What if “Biblical Womanhood” is Actually a Trauma Response? [380]
Let’s talk about something called “the subjugation schema.” It's a clinical pattern that secular psychologists are actively trying to help women heal from, and the conservative Christian church has rebranded the exact same wound as godliness, biblical womanhood, and a high calling. If you've…
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Is Your Church Actually Safe for Abuse Survivors? Here's How to Find Out [379]
In this episode I’m answering a pressing question Christian women in difficult marriages ask: how do you find a church that will actually support you instead of silence you? Because not all churches are created equal, and the difference between a safe church and a harmful one can change…
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The Pastor's Wife Nobody Saw: Jessica's Story [378]
In this episode, I sit down with my real-life friend Jessica, a pastor's wife whose story intersects with mine: her husband was a pastor at the very church that excommunicated me. What started as a conversation about her story turned into one of the most layered, honest episodes I think we've…
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Finding Your Freedom, Autonomy, and Independence - High Functioning Women Series Part Four [377]
This is part four of the High Functioning Christian Women in Destructive Marriages series, and today we talk about a concept that ties the whole series together: sovereignty. Synonyms for sovereignty include: freedom, autonomy, and independence. If you've spent years managing everyone's needs,...
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Trusting What You Know is True When Others Gaslight You - High Functioning Women Series Part Three [376]
This is Part Three of our series on high-functioning Christian women in destructive marriages. You are the woman people call when something complicated needs solving. You read rooms, spot patterns, and get it right. And yet in this one area of your life, you have been told that your judgment,...
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Why Your Empathy is a Superpower (and a TARGET!) - High Functioning Women Series Part Two [375]
This is Part Two of my series on high-functioning Christian women in destructive marriages. In Part One, we explored how the very qualities that make these women extraordinary are the same ones that make them exceptionally vulnerable. Today we're going deeper into one of the most specific and...
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The Loneliness of the "Perfect" High Functioning Woman - High Functioning Women Series Part One [374]
So many capable, gifted Christian women are living a double life that is impressive in public, but diminished in private, and they don't even have words for what's happening to them. This episode will change that. 🔑 Key Takeaways: There's a specific kind of loneliness that has nothing to do with...
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From Deconstructing to Reconstructing: Finding Wonder Again [373]
This is one of my favorite interviews! Today I’m talking with my friend, Dr. Tiffany Yecke Brooks, author of Gaslighted by God, Holy Ghosted, and her brand-new book, To Rebehold the Stars: Reimagining Faith After Deconstruction. If you've walked through the painful process of deconstructing the...
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Why Do Your Friends Believe the Person Who Abused You? [372]
What happens when seeing your ex derails all your progress? And why do your friends think he's such a great guy when you know the truth? 🔑 Key Takeaways: Why seeing your ex after months can feel like all your progress disappeared (it didn't) What trauma bonding actually does to your memory of…
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Navigating Discard, Revenge, and Unsupportive Friends [371]
In this episode we tackle three questions: What happens when the abuser is the one who leaves? How do you live with the fear of post-separation or post-divorce revenge? And what do you do when your friends just don't get it? 🔑 Key Takeaways: Why some abusers discard their victims (and what it...
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How My Word for 2026 is Playing Out So Far (personal message) [370]
This isn't my typical podcast episode. Today I get personal, sharing why I’ve decided to pursue graduate studies in theology after experiencing profound spiritual abuse throughout my entire life. If you've read All the Scary Little Gods, you know my story, and you might be wondering why I’d ever...
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If It’s Not "Narcissism," What Is It? (The Answer) - The Narcissism Trap Series Part Four [369]
In Episode 369 of the Flying Free Podcast, you’ll learn a term that's more accurate than "narcissistic abuse,” and it's actually being recognized in courts of law. This is part four of The Narcissism Trap Series, and it shifts everything from trying to diagnose your partner to recognizing what's...
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Why Your Lawyer Cringes When You Say “Narcissist” - The Narcissism Trap Series Part Three [368]
In this third episode of The Narcissism Trap series, we shift from personal validation to legal strategy, exploring why the very word that brought you clarity could be the thing that sinks your court case. We’ll look at how judges actually view labels like "narcissist" and why focusing on…
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Narcissist? Or Just Plain Evil? (Know the Difference!) - The Narcissism Trap Series Part Two [367]
In this second episode of The Narcissism Trap series, we open up the DSM-5 and walk through the actual clinical criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder but with a crucial twist. 🎯 Key Takeaways: The diagnosis you're hunting for might be the least of your problems. Even if your partner...
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Stop Calling Him a “Narcissist” (Use This Word Instead) - The Narcissism Trap Series Part One [366]
In this kickoff to a powerful new series, The Narcissism Trap, Natalie Hoffman challenges a popular narrative in abuse recovery: labeling an emotionally abusive partner as a “narcissist.” While that term may feel validating at first, Natalie explains how it can actually work against your healing…
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She Stopped Asking for Permission: Jillian's Story [365]
What happens when you stop asking for permission in an abusive marriage? Today, Jillian shares her story of waking up to covert abuse in her Christian marriage and what it took to finally get out. You'll hear how she recognized the patterns, why she chose to leave despite having a young son, and...
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Can AI Help Christian Women in Emotionally Abusive Marriages? [364]
What if an AI could help you organize your abuse evidence, understand your trauma, and save you thousands in legal fees? Aimee Says isn't just another AI tool—it's a specialized digital health platform that understands power and control dynamics, helps you document patterns of abuse, organizes…
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Breaking the Cycle of Emotional Abuse in a Christian Home - Emotional Abuse 101 | Part 8 [363]
How do you actually break free from emotional and spiritual abuse in your Christian home? Most Christian women stay stuck because nobody tells them the truth: breaking free requires three specific stages. In this episode, you'll find out why you keep falling for the "honeymoon phase" trap, what…
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How Children are Impacted by Emotional Abuse - Emotional Abuse 101 | Part 7 [362]
If you've been told that staying married "for the kids" is the most loving choice you can make, this episode will challenge everything you thought you knew about protecting your children. The truth is, emotional and spiritual abuse doesn't just harm you, it rewires your children's brains, damages...
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The Christian Abuser's Favorite Emotional Abuse Weapon (And How to Neutralize It!) - Emotional Abuse 101 | Part 6 [361]
What is the weapon Christian abusers most commonly use? In this sixth installment of the Emotional Abuse 101 series, Natalie Hoffman talks about a subtle weapon many Christian men wield in emotionally abusive relationships: criticism. But not the obvious, name-calling type. This is the more...
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How Emotional Abuse in Your Christian Marriage Impacts Your Spiritual Health - Emotional Abuse 101 | Part 5 [360]
Emotional abuse in a Christian marriage doesn't just damage your mental health. It corrodes your spiritual foundation until you can't tell the difference between God's voice and your abuser's voice anymore. 🔑 Key Takeaways: Emotional abuse doesn’t just affect your mind and body. It wounds your...
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Why You Keep Second-Guessing Yourself in Your Christian Marriage (And How to Stop) Emotional Abuse 101 | Part 4 [359]
What happens when you're the only one trying in your marriage? When your partner seems indifferent, and you're the one praying, planning, reading, learning, bending, sacrificing only to be met with silence or worse, resistance? In this episode, Natalie peels back the layers of emotional and...
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Emotional Abuse vs. Healthy Conflict in a Christian Marriage: How to Tell the Difference - Emotional Abuse 101 | Part 3 [358]
In this episode, I walk you through five crucial differences between a healthy Christian marriage and an emotionally abusive one. 🔑 Key Takeaways: Healthy marriages = clarity, respect, and growth Abusive marriages = confusion, control, and punishment If you're constantly walking on eggshells…
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BONUS: An episode from my PRIVATE podcast about what it takes to change your life
In this end-of-the-year BONUS episode, I want to share one of my recent PRIVATE podcast episodes exclusively for members of the Flying Free Kaleidoscope only. I also made an 8-minute video tour of the Flying Free Kaleidoscope on my phone. It will show you what the INSIDE of the Kaleidoscope looks...
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The Art of Saying No: Setting Boundaries When You've Been Trained to Say Yes - Emotional Abuse 101 | Part 2 [357]
Have you ever been told that saying "no" makes you selfish? That good Christian women never rock the boat, always serve with a smile, and definitely do not have thoughts of their own? This episode is Part 2 of our Emotional Abuse 101 series, and today we’re diving into the art of saying no. If…
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The 10 Most Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse in a Christian Marriage - Emotional Abuse 101 | Part 1 [356]
Welcome to part one of a brand-new series I’m calling “Emotional Abuse 101: Everything You Need to Know,” because, let’s face it, the church didn’t exactly hand out “How to Spot a Narcissist in Your Youth Group” pamphlets in Sunday school. In this episode, I’m diving into the 10 most subtle signs...
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Do You Need Someone to Rescue You? [355]
In this episode, I get down and dirty with a topic that triggers all the rule-followers and religious gatekeepers: salvation. Not the flannelgraph-Jesus kind where you prayed the “magic words” at age seven and then spent the next 30 years terrified you did it wrong. Nope. I’m talking about real,...
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Breaking the Cycle of Fear, Obligation, and Guilt: Gwendoline’s Story [354]
Ever wonder why you keep getting stuck in the same soul-sucking relational merry-go-round and can’t get off? Why you feel like you're starring in a never-ending soap opera you didn’t audition for, but somehow you’re the villain for wanting out? I sat down with Gwendoline, a longtime member of...
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Why Some People Change and Others Don't [353]
It’s time to talk about the two kinds of people in this world: the seekers and the stuck. In this episode, I dive deep into the real reasons why some lives transform after abuse while others continue to feel stuck. We’re unpacking: Why healing is not about labeling your abuser a narcissist and...
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The Subtle, Insidious Nature of Spiritual Abuse [352]
What if the very place you went for safety, love, and divine wisdom turned out to be the scene of the crime? Today we’re diving headfirst into the world of spiritual abuse. This week, I’m joined by Katherine Spearing, founder of Tears of Eden, trauma recovery practitioner, and author of a new…
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Responding to Abusive Word Salad (the master game player strategy) [351]
Has your inbox turned into a dumpster fire of accusatory texts from your abuser? In this episode, I hand you a step-by-step strategy to shut down the inner emotional chaos without getting dragged into the mud pit with him. It's not just about survival. It's about winning (for YOU!) What We Cover…
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Understanding Coercive Control and the Harms Inflicted on to Adult and Child Victims [350]
“He doesn’t hit you, so it must not be abuse.” Yeah, no. That tired old line needs to die. This week, I sat down with Dr. Christine Cocchiola, a powerhouse expert on coercive control, the kind of abuse that doesn’t leave bruises but instead, destroys lives. Christine breaks down how abusers don't...
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Toxic Beliefs That Keep Christian Women From Their True Identity (A Story about a Runner) [349]
Have you ever felt like life has you wearing a 200-pound emotional backpack labeled “Christian womanhood”? In this episode, I unpack (literally) the toxic beliefs that are holding us back using a metaphorical story about a woman who wants to run, but can’t. Because, surprise! She's lugging around...
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Beautiful Prisons and Golden Lies [348]
What if that golden cage you're sitting in was never locked? What if all that “God’s will” rhetoric was just fear cosplaying as holiness? In this episode, I tell you a story, a simple one with birds, bars, and just enough metaphorical mic drops to wake up the part of you that’s been sedated by...
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Nine Tricks Emotional Abusers Use to Pull Us Back Into the Cycle (and six clever ways to respond!) [347]
In this episode, we're taking a look at the classic emotional abuse push-pull cycle that makes us feel like we’re starring in a soap opera we never auditioned for. This one's for the Christian woman who’s been there, twisting herself into a holy pretzel trying to keep the peace, hold the family...
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Gaslighting and Guilt: Why Christian Women Stay Stuck in Toxic Relationships [346]
If you’ve ever second-guessed your sanity, asked Google “Is my husband a narcissist or just an annoying human?” or thought you might be sinning by not cheerfully submitting to your own emotional obliteration, this episode is your wake-up call... with love. Christian counselor, Kris Reece, is back...
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Breaking Free from Narcissistic Moms and Spouses Without the Guilt Bound by Blood or Vows [345]
Is it ever okay to walk away from your own mother… or your husband? (Cue the gasps from the peanut gallery clutching their pearls.) If you grew up in church culture, you probably heard that honoring your parents and submitting to your husband meant swallowing abuse with a smile. But guess what?...
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Two Hotel Rooms: One Rescue Mission [344]
You know how sometimes life gives you lemons and then instead of sugar for lemonade, the church hands you a moldy marriage book and says, “Submit harder”? That was my reality. In this episode, I take you back to a hotel room where I was nine months pregnant and seriously questioning if I wanted…
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
Flying Free is a support resource for women of faith who need hope and healing from hidden emotional abuse, spiritual abuse, and narcissistic abuse. Because of misogynistic theology taught in controlling and spiritually abusive churches, many Christian women find themselves in destructive marriages where there is an uneven power dynamic. Male partners use their status as a husband to gain power and control over a woman’s mind, emotions, body, social life, finances, and more. When she tries to get help from her equally abusive church environment, she is betrayed and re-abused. Flying Free offers a Christ-centered, gospel-oriented perspective on domestic abuse that protects and honors the voices and autonomy of women. Tune in each week to hear conversations with emotional abuse advocates and fellow survivors who will walk with you on your journey up and out. We hear you. You are not alone. Learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
HOSTED BY
Natalie Hoffman
CATEGORIES
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Flying Free have?
Flying Free currently has 410 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Flying Free about?
Flying Free is a support resource for women of faith who need hope and healing from hidden emotional abuse, spiritual abuse, and narcissistic abuse. Because of misogynistic theology taught in controlling and spiritually abusive churches, many Christian women find themselves in destructive marriages...
How often does Flying Free release new episodes?
Flying Free publishes regularly with 410 episodes available. Check the episode list for the typical release schedule.
Where can I listen to Flying Free?
You can listen to Flying Free on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Flying Free?
Flying Free is created and hosted by Natalie Hoffman.
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