The thing your child needs most might surprise you

What if your child doesn’t need fixing nearly as much as they need delighting in?When our children are struggling, it’s so easy to become focussed on helping them overcome their challenges. More confidence. Better organisation. Greater resilience. We want life to be easier for them. Of course we do. That’s love.But in this Parent Pause, I talk about a girl who had become so used to hearing about her difficulties that she quietly concluded, “I’m just bad at everything.” The heartbreaking thing was that it wasn’t remotely true. She had simply started confusing her challenges with who she was.I think many children, especially those with additional needs, are at risk of believing that the things they find difficult are the most important things about them.What if our role is not to make our children more normal, but to help them become more fully themselves? To notice what lights them up. To enjoy them. To see their gifts, humour, interests and possibilities alongside their struggles.Children grow best in the direction of who they are, not who they’re being compared to.Thank you for pausing with me. Take care. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kimmccabe.substack.com/subscribe