Who told you pleasure was dangerous?

Wait. Before you scroll. Who told you that pleasure was dangerous?It’s a question I’ve been asking myself - and asking other women - ever since our Women’s Hour this week. Because if I’m honest, for so many of us, pleasure feels risky. Too much food. Too much laughter. Too much rest. Too much wanting.Somewhere along the way we absorbed the idea that if we let ourselves enjoy things properly, we might unravel. We might overdo it.I remember booking a dance class years ago. Nothing serious. Just something for me. And I nearly cancelled three times. Not because I didn’t want to go - but because it felt extravagant. Almost irresponsible. When I did go, I stood at the back at first, half present, as if I hadn’t quite earned my place. And then the music started and my body remembered. I felt joy in my hips and ribs and feet. I realised how long it had been since I’d moved for no reason other than pleasure. Too long.We tell ourselves if we start resting, we’ll never get up. If we start enjoying food, we’ll lose control. If we prioritise joy, everything else will fall apart.But what if the opposite is true? What if pleasure steadies us? Softens us. Makes us less brittle. Because brittle parents snap.This isn’t about spa days or grand gestures. It might be ten minutes in the sun. Music while you cook. A slower breath with your hand on your heart. Tiny daily acts that say - I am allowed to feel good in this body. I am allowed to enjoy this life. Even when it’s hard.Our children are watching. When they see us experiencing pleasure without guilt, they learn something powerful. That life is not just about coping. It’s about living.So this week I’m asking myself - where do I hold back from joy? Not with judgement but with curiosity.Maybe you’ll ask yourself the same.Thank you for pausing with me. Take care. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kimmccabe.substack.com/subscribe