Why You’re Stuck in a Shame Spiral (and How to Get Out)

Shame spirals: we all know them, we all hate them, and most of us try to outrun them. In this raw, revealing, and hilariously honest conversation, Finn and Dr. Sarah break down what a shame spiral really is, where these intense emotional reactions come from, and why they often have deep roots in childhood patterns. Using Sarah’s real-life moment of “F-bomb shame” as a jumping-off point, the duo explores how old wounds get activated, why our reactions can feel so outsized, and what it takes to recover with compassion, clarity, and grounded truth.TakeawaysShame spirals often signal past trauma or early developmental wounds.Overreactions usually mean the present moment has touched an old story.Self-compassion is the antidote to shame—not self-punishment.“Pull the lens back”: most shame triggers aren’t life-altering in realityHealing requires understanding, kindness, and choosing not to re-abuse yourself.Key Timestamps[00:00] – Welcome back: what shame spirals feel like[01:00] – Recognizing hidden vs. overt shame[02:00] – The “speaking regret” shame spiral[03:00] – Sarah’s F-bomb video story & activation[06:00] – Childhood memories that amplify present shame[10:00] – Tools: pulling back the lens, practicing self-compassion[12:00] – Finn’s shame around talking too much in groups[15:00] – Trauma origins of shame patterns[18:00] – Healing, compassion, and the parent-you-needed approachNotable Resources & Guest LinksDr. Sarah Michaud, PsyD — Author of Co CrazyLeaving CrazyTown YouTube ChannelWebsite: https://drsarahmichaud.com/Subscribe, rate, and review Codependency Recovery: Leaving CrazyTown.Share this episode with someone who spirals into shame and needs real-talk tools to get out.Codependency Recovery: Leaving CrazyTown is a raw, real-talk podcast hosted by Finn and Dr. Sarah Michaud. With humor, honesty, and a healthy dose of clinical insight, they tackle the chaos of dysfunctional relationships and offer real tools for healing. Subscribe wherever you listen and follow @LeavingCrazyTown on social media for more real-talk recovery content.