WTF Collective 2

Album: I Kill People by Jon Lajoie http://www.jonlajoie.com/ Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EbAJivTHPoQ iTunes: http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/i-kill-people/id404680350 Lyrics: MC Confusing back in this bitch With a parking sandwich and a chicken ticket I got a liquid face lift from a fig with big tits And my wrist got twisted by a Brit with fake spit And you don't understand it, 'cause you're not supposed to Like a candy cane snake in a jealous cartoon And I'm gonna leave soon, but first I need to Drink a Chevy chase face and rape Robocop 2 Yo, I'm MC Historical Inaccuracy I drop lyrical bombs like Hiroshima in '73 I write rhymes like Shakespeare when he wrote Ann Frank's Diary Which is about the civil war of 1812 in Germany I'm like the Spanish inquisition when they killed Jesus And Abe Lincoln's suicide was the theme for my thesis Like Moses when I focus I can split the Red sea Like he did in 1950 with the Chinese army I'm MC Don't Know How to Pluralize Word I got so many rhyme and I sleep with all the girl When there's more than one of something you're supposed to pluralize But I never learned that through all the year I've been alive Hello, I'm MC Canadian Stereotype I'm aboot to get started, so let me get off the ice But I don't want any trouble, and I am always polite Now let's hop on my snowmobile, and I will tell you what I like But first I'll turn of curling and turn down Avril Lavigne Et j'vais dire une phrase en francais, parce qu'ici on est bilingue Oh boy, I fell of my igloo and I hurt my knee Let's go to the hospital, don't worry, here in Canada it's free, eh MC Fatigue, did you miss me I'll be awake for five minutes, 'cause I had a coffee I'll try to get through my verse, but I really don't know I drank that coffee about five minutes ago (snoring) They hired me again to sing this motherfucking chorus I haven't found a fucking job yet so I gotta do this bullshit (I can't take it, I'm done) I don't think I can sing another fucking chorus I think I'm gonna jump off a bridge, or shoot myself like Kurt Cobain did (I think my dad has a gun) I'm MC Knows Too Many Facts About Bees 15 miles per hour is their average speed A queen can lay up to 3000 eggs in a day Just because I know a lot about bees doesn't mean that I'm gay I'm also MC In the Closet Homosexual I hide it 'cause it's easier to be heterosexual We can't even get married in most states here in America It's fucked up Gay marriage is legal here, in Canada I'm MC Homophobic Fucking Asshole Being gay is evil and it is unnatural Jesus said to love thy neighbour, but only if they are straight Penises go in vaginas, anything else is just insane I'm MC Extremely Inappropriate Rhymes I shake things up like J-fox when I get on the mic And I drop my enemies just like Christopher Reeves' horse Then I put them to sleep, like Heath Ledger of course (woah) I'm MC Extremely Politically Correct I disagree with the previous MC's lyrical content It's offensive, insensitive and in very bad taste Just like that guy who wrote that song when Michael Jackson passed away Yo, MC Final Verse here to end this song One was enough, we didn't need a sequel Jon Make a fourth Show Me Your Genitals or another Normal Guy But for now let's end this stupid song with a suicide This is the last time that I will ever sing a chorus My dad's gun was in his closet and I'm gonna end this bullshit (I had a good run) I'm gonna pull the trigger as soon as I finished the chorus Sayonara and farewell, I guess I'll see you all in hell (Four, three, two, one)