PODCAST · health
Addiction Makes Three
by Amanda Lockyer
Addiction Makes Three The Podcast, with Amanda Lockyer is dedicated to shining a light and understanding the lesser talked about side of addiction. The real impact it has on the partners and families of those that struggle with addiction. Are you struggling with a partners addiction and feel at a complete loss as to what to do? You feel like you have no one to turn to and are worried you'll be judged or your partner will be judged. It can feel like no one understands what you are going through and no one could really imagine what this is really like. We will cover what it is truly like to be on the other side of a loved one struggling with addiction or navigating recovery. We will also dive deep on tools, ideas and strategies that will really help you whether you are at the confusing beginning the messy middle or through the other side, including practical tips and ways that you can actually get back to living again, regardless of the path your partner choo
Episodes
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105 - I Don't Know What To Do. Finding Clarity When You Love Someone With Addiction
One of the most common things I hear from partners and family members is... "I don't know what to do anymore." If you've ever found yourself wondering: Should I stay or leave? How do I support someone with addiction? What boundaries should I set? Should I tell the kids? How do I know if I'm doing...
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104 - From My Notebook | The Signs of Recovery We Almost Always Miss
When someone you love is struggling with addiction, it's natural to focus on the obvious signs. Are they drinking? Using? Going to meetings? Following through with treatment? But what if some of the most meaningful signs of recovery are the ones we almost always miss? In this first From My…
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103 - The Things You Can (and Can't) Control
What if your peace didn't have to wait? So many of us quietly tell ourselves: 💛 "I'll feel better when they stop drinking." 💛 "I'll relax when they get help." 💛 "I'll be happy when things settle down." But what if peace doesn't arrive at the end of someone else's recovery journey? In this...
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102 - It’s all you think about. It takes Up Everything in Your Mind
If you've been feeling exhausted lately... but it's not the kind of exhaustion sleep fixes... this episode is for you. When you're living with a partner or loved one struggling with alcohol addiction or substance use, it's not just the drinking that's exhausting. It's the constant worrying. The...
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101 - It Steals Us Away from the Person We Used to Be
What happens when you spend so much time focused on someone else's addiction that you stop recognising yourself? In this episode of Addiction Makes Three, Amanda explores one of the quieter impacts of loving someone struggling with alcohol addiction, substance use, or addictive behaviours: the…
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100 - The Things We Rarely Say Out Loud About Loving Someone with Addiction
What if the hardest part isn't their addiction... What if it's what living alongside addiction has done to you? For this special 100th episode of Addiction Makes Three, Amanda shares real voice notes from listeners around the world about what it's really like loving someone struggling with…
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99 - I Think I've Lost Myself In This. Who Am I Without Their Addiction?
Have you ever stopped and wondered who you would be if addiction wasn't part of your life anymore? Not because you don't love your person. But because addiction has taken up so much space in your life that you've lost touch with yourself. In this episode, we're talking about the quiet loss of...
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98 - Is This Just My Life Now? How Addiction Slowly Makes Your World Smaller
A client recently said to me, "I finally love my job... but I don't get joy anywhere." And I think that one sentence captures what so many people impacted by addiction experience. Because one of the sneakiest things about survival mode is that it doesn't always look like falling apart. Sometimes…
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97 - I Don't Think I Get To Fall Apart
What happens when you've spent years being the strong one? The one who keeps going. The one who remembers everything. The one who holds the family together. The one who keeps functioning no matter what's happening around them. In this episode of Addiction Makes Three, Amanda explores the hidden...
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96 - I Can't Switch Off: Why I'm Always Waiting For Something To Go Wrong
Do you feel like you're always waiting for the next problem? The next phone call. The next argument. The next relapse. The next thing that throws everything off course. If you love someone struggling with addiction, that constant feeling of being "on" can become so normal that you stop…
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95 - I Know Something Needs To Change… I Just Don't Know Where To Start
Learn more about Discovery to Recovery here You know something needs to change. You know something isn't working. You know you're exhausted. But when you're living with addiction in a relationship, knowing what to do next can feel impossible. Maybe you're constantly thinking about your loved…
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94 - I’m In Limbo: How Long Do I Wait?
What happens when the person you love recognises they have a problem (or maybe they don't)… and nothing feels steady? What happens when you keep hoping things will improve… but your life slowly becomes consumed by waiting? In this deeply honest episode of Addiction Makes Three, Amanda explores…
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93 - How Survival Mode Slowly Becomes Your Personality
One of the hardest parts about loving someone struggling with alcohol or addiction? How slowly survival mode starts feeling normal. The hypervigilance. The walking on eggshells. The overthinking. The emotional exhaustion. The inability to fully relax. And over time… you stop recognising yourself....
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92 - Am I Overreacting? The Hidden Damage Addiction Causes
Have you ever asked yourself, "Maybe It’s Me?" One of the hardest parts about loving someone struggling with alcohol or addiction? It’s not always the drinking, the lying, the gambling, or the chaos. It’s what slowly starts happening to you. And loosing your own trust is one of those impacts that...
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91 - The Hills I’ll Die On After Loving Someone With Addiction
Today Amanda shares the “hills she’ll die on” after loving someone struggling with alcohol and addiction… and after supporting hundreds of women and men impacted by it too. From waiting for rock bottom… to believing sobriety should magically fix everything… to thinking more information will…
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90 - I Miss Who I Used To Be: How Survival Mode Slowly Changes You
Sometimes the hardest part about addiction…. is realising how much you have changed too. In this deeply personal episode, Amanda opens up about the grief of losing yourself in survival mode. The anxiety. The hypervigilance. The exhaustion. The version of you that slowly disappeared while trying…
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89 - Mother’s Day, Addiction, and the Grief No One Talks About
Mother’s Day can bring up a lot for many of us. And when addiction has touched your life… not all of it feels good. Because Mother’s Day can become this painful mix of hope, disappointment and grief all at the same time. In this deeply personal episode, Amanda opens up about the complicated...
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88 - Why Learning More About Addiction Might Be Keeping You Stuck
You’ve learnt a lot about addiction. You understand the patterns. You can see what’s happening. You’ve done the reading, the podcasts, the research. So why does it still feel like nothing is changing? In this episode, we’re talking about a trap that’s easy to fall into - especially when you’re...
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87 - Why It’s Not Getting Better (Even Though You’re Doing Everything Right)
You’re struggling with a loved one’s addiction and you’re trying really hard to make things better. Reading. Listening. Learning everything you can. Trying to handle this better. Trying to respond better. Trying to make things work. And yet… You still find yourself in the same place. Reacting....
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86 - I Can’t Keep Doing This: What Happens When You Reach Your Limit
Sometimes it’s not a big moment. Not a crisis. Not the worst day. Not the breaking point you thought it would be. It’s quieter than that. It’s the moment where something inside you says: “I can’t keep doing this like this.” In this episode, we’re talking about that moment. The one where you...
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85 - The Part No One Talks About Series: Sobriety Doesn’t Fix the Relationship
You thought sobriety would change everything. I know I did... That once they stopped drinking… you’d finally feel better. More relaxed. More connected. Less on edge. But what happens when sobriety comes… and your relationship still doesn’t feel right? In this episode of The Part No One Talks…
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84 - The Part No One Talks About Series: When Sobriety Isn’t What You Expected
You thought sobriety would change everything. That once they stopped drinking… you’d finally feel better. More relaxed. More connected. Less on edge. But what happens when that moment comes… and you still don’t feel okay? In this episode of The Part No One Talks About series, we’re talking about...
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83 - The Part No One Talks About Series: You Look Fine… But You’re Not
In this episode of The Part No One Talks About series, we’re diving into the invisible impact of loving someone with addiction. Because while addiction can be loud… The impact on you is often silent. This episode is for the ones who: Look like they’re holding it all together But feel like they’re...
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82 - The Part No One Talks About Series: How it impacts your ability to parent
This is the part no one talks about. Not the addiction itself. Not your loved one. But you. The spouse, the one without the addiction. In this episode, we’re diving into the hidden impact addiction has on your parenting. The snapping, the numbness, the overwhelm… and the quiet guilt that follows....
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81 - A Personal Update: Grief, Losing My Voice, and Why I’m Here
This episode is a little different. I wanted to sit down and share a personal update, what’s been happening behind the scenes for me, why I went quiet for a while, and what I’ve been navigating over the past few months. Just before Christmas, I received some devastating news. A dear friend of…
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80 - The Part No One Talks About Series: This Isn’t Just Stress. It’s the Impact of Addiction.
You might be telling yourself you’re just stressed. It’s January. It's school holidays. It’s work. It’s parenting. It’s just a busy season. But if you love someone struggling with alcoholism or addiction in your family or relationship, what you’re feeling might not be “just stress.” It might be...
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79 - "I Can’t Do Another Year Like This” When You’re Exhausted Living with Addiction
You’re tired. I know you are. Not just “busy” tired. Not just “it’s been a long week” tired. You are life + Addiction tired. You’re exhausted from holding everything together, for everyone, for years. If you’re living alongside addiction, whether your loved one is in active addiction, early...
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78 - Acknowledging the Year You’ve Survived
If you’ve spent the past year holding everything together while your loved one's addiction has chipped away at your energy, your hope, and your sense of self, this episode is for you. In this raw, honest conversation, we look back at the year you’ve survived. Not minimising it. Not pretending it...
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77 - Holiday Series: Why Your Christmas Doesn’t Depend on Their Sobriety
Part 6 of the Holiday Series If you’ve lived through more than one chaotic December, you’ve probably told yourself: “Christmas will only be okay if he’s sober.” “Maybe this year will be different… if he sticks to what he promised.” In this bonus episode of the Holiday Series, I am sharing the…
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76 - Holiday Series: What I Wish Someone Told Me Before Every Christmas
Part 5 of the Holiday Series This episode is the deep breath you didn’t know you needed. If you’re heading into December telling yourself, “I’ll be fine… I’ve done this before… I can handle it,” this one is for you. Because the truth is: ✨ You have handled too much. ✨ Your body is bracing, even…
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75 - Holiday Series: Three Things You Can Control This Season
Part 4 of the Holiday Mini-Series When your loved one's drinking, substance use, sobriety or recovery feels unpredictable, it can start to feel like everything is out of your hands, the mood, the energy in the house, whether plans go ahead or blow up, whether Christmas feels magical or like a...
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74 - Holiday Series: The Hidden Exhaustion of Loving Someone in Addiction
Part 3 of the Holiday Mini-Series This episode dives into something most people will never understand unless they’ve lived it: You aren’t just planning Christmas. You’re planning Christmas around a loved ones addiction. While the rest of the world is thinking menus, Secret Santa, outfits and...
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73 - Holiday Series: The Dread of Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde
A special Holiday Series Episode 2 of 5 If you wake up already bracing yourself… wondering which “version” of your loved one you’ll get today, this episode will feel like someone finally naming the thing you’ve been silently living. This is the emotional whiplash of loving someone whose drinking,...
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72 - Holiday Series: When Everyone Thinks You’re Fine - But You’re Not
Today’s episode kicks off a special 5-part holiday series created for spouses and families whose Christmas looks nothing like the picture-perfect scenes on social media or in the Hallmark Movies. If your loved one’s drinking or addiction makes the season feel unpredictable… If everyone assumes...
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71 - The Moment I Completely Lost It
There’s a moment in every addiction-impacted relationship where you realise… it’s not just their drinking/drug use/gambling etc that’s changing the family, it’s changing you too. You don’t plan for it. You don’t see it coming. And when it happens, the shame of it stays in your chest for years....
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70 - When You Don't Like Who You've Become In Their Addiction
Have you ever looked at yourself and thought… “I don’t even recognise who I am anymore?” If so, this episode will feel like someone finally turned the lights on in a dark room you’ve been sitting in for years. When you love someone whose drinking or using creates chaos, unpredictability or...
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69 - If Nothing Changes, Nothing Changes: How to Start Turning Your Life Around Now
What if the change you’ve been waiting for has nothing to do with your loved one and everything to do with you? If your partner’s addiction has taken over your life, it’s easy to slip into survival mode: waiting for the next crisis, hoping this time things will magically improve, telling yourself...
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68 - Why Waiting for Rock Bottom Is Dangerous
You’ve probably heard it a thousand times, “they just need to hit rock bottom.” But what if that’s the very idea keeping you both stuck? When someone you love is struggling with addiction, it’s easy to believe that “rock bottom” is what will finally make them change. We’ve been told it by…
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67 - How to Rebuild Trust Without Turning Into a Detective
If your loved one says they’re sober but part of you still isn’t sure, this episode is for you. After living through lies, gaslighting, and constant second-guessing, rebuilding trust can feel impossible. You want to believe them. You want your relationship to work. But you’re also exhausted from...
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66 - They Say They’re Sober… But You’re Still Not Sure
When your loved one says they’re sober but you still smell alcohol, feel uneasy, or can’t shake that gut feeling, you’re not crazy. In this episode, I unpack what happens after the lies, after rehab, and after the chaos settles. I explain why it’s so hard to feel calm, how broken trust shows up…
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65 - What No One Warns You About When They Go To Rehab
Everyone says, “They just need to go to rehab.” And maybe they do. But no one talks about what happens to the person left at home once they finally do. In this honest episode, Addiction Relationship Coach Amanda Lockyer shares what really happens on the other side of rehab. The emotional…
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64 - When You’re Worn Out: Giving Yourself Permission to Stop
When you’re the one holding everything together, the house, the kids, the finances, the emotional whiplash and fallout, it’s no wonder you’re exhausted. Loving someone who struggles with alcohol or drugs can quickly take over your life. You keep going because stopping feels dangerous, like...
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63 - How Perimenopause Makes Addiction-Impacted Relationships Even Harder
Navigating perimenopause while living with a spouse struggling with addiction can feel like too much. Because it is, in fact, too much. In this episode, Amanda shares why these two experiences collide, how it impacts your emotions and nervous system, and what real support looks like so you can...
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62 - Rethinking Recovery and the Myths That Keep Us Stuck with Conrad Tracy
What if the stories we’ve been told about addiction recovery, rock bottom, tough love, they have to want it themselves... are only half the truth? In this episode, Amanda sits down with Conrad Tracey, founder of Addiction Coaching Australia, to unpack the outdated myths that keep people stuck…
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61 - When You Don’t Know Whether to Stay or Leave
You love them and you’re exhausted. One day there’s hope, the next there’s heartbreak. And the question won’t stop circling your mind: Should I stay, or should I leave? In this episode, Amanda helps you step off the exhausting mental treadmill of “what ifs” and find solid ground again. You’ll...
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60 - Grieving Someone in Addiction Who is Still Alive
What if you’re grieving someone who’s still alive? In this episode, Amanda explains living grief, the hidden heartbreak of loving someone in addiction. Learn why it feels confusing, how grief shows up in your body, and gentle ways to begin healing without losing yourself. It’s the tension between...
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59 - The Crazy Things I Did In My Husband's Addiction
You’ve sniffed laundry, counted bottles, checked phones, screenshotted bank statements. Me too. You’re not crazy, you’re trying your best to cope the only way you know how. In this episode, I unveil my long list of whack and unhinged behaviour and unpack why the “detective mode” makes sense and…
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58 - The High-Functioning Addiction Myth: When ‘Fine’ Isn’t Actually Fine
They’ve got a good job. They pay the bills. They make people laugh. So how could this be addiction, right? That’s what we tell ourselves. Until being high-functioning for them starts feeling like being high-alert for you. In this raw and honest episode, Amanda pulls back the curtain on one of the...
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57 - Why Your Boundaries Aren’t Working (and What to Do About It)
Are you overwhelmed, resentful, or carrying everyone else’s chaos? Those are not personality traits, they’re signs you need new boundaries. In this episode, you’ll learn: 4 common signs it’s time to set new or better boundaries. Why resentment is your body’s boundary alarm. How over-functioning…
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56 - How to Spot the Early Signs of Addiction (Before It’s Too Late)
Ever found yourself holding your breath when the front door opens? Or Googling at 2am, ‘Is my partner an alcoholic?’ before deleting the search? You’re not crazy, these are the blurry early signs of addiction. And today, we’re naming a few of them. What you’ll learn in this episode: The subtle...
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
Addiction Makes Three The Podcast, with Amanda Lockyer is dedicated to shining a light and understanding the lesser talked about side of addiction. The real impact it has on the partners and families of those that struggle with addiction.
Are you struggling with a partners addiction and feel at a complete loss as to what to do?
You feel like you have no one to turn to and are worried you'll be judged or your partner will be judged. It can feel like no one understands what you are going through and no one could really imagine what this is really like.
We will cover what it is truly like to be on the other side of a loved one struggling with addiction or navigating recovery. We will also dive deep on tools, ideas and strategies that will really help you whether you are at the confusing beginning the messy middle or through the other side, including practical tips and ways that you can actually get back to living again, regardless of the path your partner choo
HOSTED BY
Amanda Lockyer
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Addiction Makes Three have?
Addiction Makes Three currently has 106 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Addiction Makes Three about?
Addiction Makes Three The Podcast, with Amanda Lockyer is dedicated to shining a light and understanding the lesser talked about side of addiction. The real impact it has on the partners and families of those that struggle with addiction. Are you struggling with a partners addiction and feel at a...
How often does Addiction Makes Three release new episodes?
Addiction Makes Three publishes regularly with 106 episodes available. Check the episode list for the typical release schedule.
Where can I listen to Addiction Makes Three?
You can listen to Addiction Makes Three on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Addiction Makes Three?
Addiction Makes Three is created and hosted by Amanda Lockyer.
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