Alpha Lima Charlie Podcast

Today's guest, Luka Dziubyna, is an Air Force Veteran and the creator of "22", which is a documentary on veterans, healthcare and suicide.

Today, I spoke with Jeff Bayless, soon-to-be-retired Navy Chief, about evolving as a person through building resilience from life's challenges.

How can you expect others to respect you when you don't respect yourself?  Same goes for care, trust, and love!

So it's been said that COVID19 attacks the immuno-compromised.  We've been told to wear masks, wash our hands, don't touch our face, wear a mask, stay away from people, stay home, shelter in place, and wear a mask....blah, blah, blah. But let me ask you a question...WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO BOOST YOUR IMMUNE SYSTEM?

I've heard of so many vets that say they have an anger or rage problem, but have no clue where it's coming from.  Many vets marriages or relationships have failed as a result of these challenges.  In this episode, I explain ways to find the source of the anger and rage issues that are within us; and how to change it.

Today's conversation is with a friend I served with, who has become a successful entrepreneur.  We discuss various aspects of being a veteran entrepreneur; as well as the upcoming Entrepreneurial Growth modules in the Alpha Lima Charlie Member Portal.   www.alphalimacharlie.com/freeoffer

Today's episode is in conjunction with the official launch day of the Alpha Lima Charlie online member portal with Veteran Mindset Coaching!  Today's guest is Navy Seal Veteran, co-author of Extreme Ownership and co-founder, President and COO of Echelon Front, Leif Babin.  In our conversation, we discuss what it mean to take ownership of our lives as veterans, developing a stronger mindset, and utilizing discipline to have the freedom of living a positive life.  We also discuss various aspects of leadership, to include self-leadership and self-communication.

Today's episode features guest, Sherman Gillums, Chief Advocacy Officer for AmVets.  Today we discuss veteran disability, ratings, and the arguments had that divide our veteran ranks.  Sherman provides his insights to the system, the history of the disability system, and where our focus needs to be, rather than focusing on devaluing each other's service.

Life is going to kick your a** sometimes, so why aren't you continuously training to fight back.  You were literally trained to fight for your country, but now that life is punching you, you're not fighting back.  Get up and swing.

In today's episode, I read two excerpts from my mentor, Sean Stephenson's book Get Off Your "But".  In the first excerpt, I read about Sean's life-altering experience in the 4th grade.  The second excerpt, I read about Sean's unwitting connection to Boston Bill.  And the third story I share is also in the book, but I shared it from memory of when I first heard him speak.  This was the story of a little boy he encountered where he had to learn the concept of "don't throw the shoe back."

I hear it frequently.  I don't need to talk about it.  I'll just get drunk. Many times vets think being vulnerable for a moment and talking about things they have dealt with or are currently dealing with is a weakness.  In all actuality, talking about the things we've dealt with personally or professionally is a strength.  This is a brief snapshot of Zach Bowen's story and the result of attempting to run from his demons.

Many vets are addicted to it without realizing it.  Politics, media and social media are avenues of stress that cause more harm than good for most veterans and it's adding to the 22.  Most feel the need to stay directly tied to the political drama and in-fighting because of how it may or may not affect the military and veteran ranks.  Which leads to the constant attention on the media and what both sides of mainstream media are saying, causing even more stress.  Which leads to posting and reading posts on social media, and responding negatively to those that we barely know...or worse, responding negatively to our brothers and sisters in arms that we fought along side.  These negative responses and stressors create deeper isolation and, in my humble opinion, add to the 22 suicides a day.  It has to stop. So here are some ways we can destress from these toxic subjects and arenas!

You say you want change.  You say you want TO change.  You say you want to be better.  You say you want to find your purpose and identity...well, how bad do you want it?

If you are in a committed relationship, chances are you have had bumps in the road.  That's a part of being in a relationship.  But many times marital challenges can be the cause of suicidal thoughts...or worse, carrying out one's own suicide.  Here are a couple things you can do to reframe the marital challenges you're facing and ways to navigate those challenges effectively. Many of us veterans face the mental destruction of the negative opinions of others, even other veterans.  We put a lot of value into the opinions of others, without valuing our own opinion, or even having a positive opinion about ourselves.  Here are a few questions you can ask yourself when you are putting too much focus into the negative opinions of others.

We've heard so many people say, "This is my goal."  Many declare it to be true, but not many clear a path to make it happen!  Here's what you do to clear that path...

I had a deep conversation with Mike on challenges he faced at the strategic level and how that affected him personally and professionally.  He had many personal challenges that affected him as well.  We also discuss where the mindset of leadership has been and where we believe it should go.  And just as my conversations typically go, we talked about a whole lot more!

In this episode, I have a deep conversation with Ricky Johnson who has an amazing story of navigating severe challenges!  From addiction, to his son's suicide, by most accounts, one could think Ricky's story is one that nobody could recover from.  In our conversation, Ricky talks about his insights and actions he took to turn his life around!  

Acceptance and forgiveness are crucial, but getting the pressure released and beginning to share the things that happened to us, even if it's on a piece of paper, will go a long way.  It's a journey, it's not over night, but every step forward is a step toward healing.

We hear veterans talk about wanting to find their purpose and identity again, but there is something keeping them from moving forward in that search.  Many veterans are still holding onto what has happened in the past and not forgiving those that wronged them, situations they were involved in, or forgiveness of self! There are ways that we can start the process of acceptance and forgiveness to be able to start moving forward.  Listen to see how you can start to move forward. NOTE:  There was about 10 minutes that was cut off during the recording and picks back up.  Any exercise or important information that was missed will be readdressed in a later episode.

In this episode, I discuss the following topics: - The Alive Documentary - Did the culture of silence created during the WWI era created a genetic code of silence in our veterans of present day wars? - "We support our troops" and "We hire vets" and "Only vets care about vets" - The stress of setting expectations for others that have not experienced life in the military - The Mentorship tab in the Vets Mentoring Vets Facebook Group

I had the pleasure of catching up with an old high school friend and fellow Marine.  We talked about how we have brought work stress home and it has affected our families.  We talked about stepping out of our comfort zone and working toward what our heart is telling us to do; while we will have others trying to bring us back down like crabs in a bucket.  A part of the discussion was around our embarrassment for thinking we were much further than other people we went to high school with, 20 years later. In this episode I also talked about the silent killer, stress.  We are constantly focused on outside sources that affect our stress.  But we have the ability to decide to focus internally and destress.  This may not be an easy feat to begin with, but it takes simple steps.

Happy 4th of July! As vets, we must relax in the chaos! Life will always throw curve balls our way. So it's imperative to see things through a curious lens, rather than a judgemental lens. And in that curiosity, you may find your purpose and identity.

We're a lot like coke bottles...when you shake up a two liter bottle of coke, what happens?  The inside gets pressurized, the outside becomes rigid, less flexible.  Then we pop the cap and the explosion happens, right? Well when we don't talk about the things we're dealing with internally, we do the same thing.  We build up pressure on the inside.  We become toxic, rigid, negative on the outside.  Then something triggers us and the explosion occurs.  That can look like verbal abuse on ourselves or others, physical abuse on ourselves or others, child abuse, domestic abuse, addiction, rage, murder, or suicide. But what happens when you pour a little out of the coke bottle at a time, then try to shake it?  Eventually, you get a little hiss or nothing at all. Same thing when we talk about things.  We pour a little of ourselves out at a time and eventually we don't get triggered.  Eventually, we are no longer suicidal. In this episode, there are a few ways to truly combat suicide.  

After I left the Marine Corps, I had a new normal.  But there was another normal, a comfort zone that I lived in from the time of my father's death to just a couple years ago.  And in that comfort zone, I blamed everybody and everything, no ownership, anger and victimhood.  Fortunately, I was able to pull out of that, visit my uncomfort zone several times to grow psychologically, and now impact other veterans.

My calling as a coach was incomplete.  I knew I was meant to be a coach, just not sure where I fit in.  Well that chapter of the saga is over.  The realization that I need to be a Veteran Mindset Coach hit me like a ton of bricks.  

This is an introduction to me, my challenges and failures, and how I navigated through those challenges in order to live a positive, fulfilled life.  This is the story about how I became a Veteran Mindset Coach with a mission of impacting 1,300,00 veterans in 5 years!  Stay tuned for more conversations, insights, and stories about challenges veterans have and continue to face, tragedies of death, and victories over challenges!   If you are a veteran, active duty or reservist, join my Facebook Group Vets Mentoring Vets!