PODCAST · society
Brain Vomit
by Xavier Rodriguez Jackson
You will listen to me a confused 23 year old reflect on my anxieties, emotions, and memories. Helping myself and listeners forge a more profound sense of self. Will laugh, will cry, but most importantly, will GROW.
Episodes
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Pournal 59: I Must Take Action
In the fifty-ninth podcast journal of Brain Vomit, I explain why I quit the podcast for the foreseeable future. I discuss my feelings of being stuck in a harmful pattern that stunts my growth. I am exhausted of not creating a better me all while knowing I have the control, I am tired of allowing...
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Pournal 58: I Cant Keep My Self Accountable
In the fifty-eight podcast journal of Brain Vomit, I discuss how I have fallen back into destructive and comfortable patterns. Reflecting on these facts is extremely stressful because I have acknowledged this problem for several months now, but I have not maintained my positive habits. I continue...
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Pournal 56: Catastrophizing
In the fifty sixth podcast journal of Brain Vomit, I discuss and explain the cognitive distortion known as catastrophizing. I continue the pournal by talking how my mental errors cause me anxiety for small and large tasks. Getting in the way of me growing or pursuing my goals, because I life in...
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Pournal 55: Emotionally Tired
In the fifty-fifth podcast journal of Brain Vomit (the shortest one to date), I discuss how I had an emotionally exhausting day. I had multiple tough conversations that drained my energy but had healthy resolutions that helped me grow. I am still not on a consistent schedule, so the pournal is...
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Pournal 54: Jumping Into the Deep End with Tik Tok
In the fifty-fourth podcast journal of Brain Vomit, I discuss how I created a Tik Tok account today and created content. I reflect on my fears of using social media again and the mental traps that come with them. I open up about my fears of being creative because you want the outside world to…
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Pournal 53: The Impact of Social Media (ft Anonymous Hedgehog)
In the fifty-third podcast journal of Brain Vomit, I collaborate with Rich and Maya from Anonymous Hedgehog. We take a deep dive into social media, and how it impacts our life's different facets—discussing Black Mirror, how social media impacts teenagers, and much more. Social media is such a...
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Pournal 52: Thanks Pablo
In the fifty second podcast journal of Brain Vomit, I simply talk about how important my dog Pablo has been for me these last couple of years. Pablo keeps me grounded and is someone I can always count on for support and love. Thanks Pablo for being a great dog. Thanks for listening to my brain...
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Pournal 51: The Power of Routine
In the fifty-first podcast journal of Brain Vomit, I discuss developing more healthy routines is a powerful tool to stay grounded and present. I touch on how I have struggled to maintain my morning routine and don't have a nighttime routine, but I acknowledge the power of keeping routines. I...
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Pournal 50: A Big Milestone
In the fiftieth podcast journal of Brain Vomit, I discuss the deep happiness I feel for completing 50 pournals of Brain Vomit. I compare my emotions to having a child or winning a championship but less intense (lol). I thank everyone for all the support, and I exude excitement for the milestones…
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Pournal 49: My Perfectionist Tendencies are Taking Control
In the forty-ninth podcast journal of Brain Vomit, I discuss how these last couple of days of being a waiter have caused me much stress and anxiety. The main culprit behind my anxiety is perfection. Wanting to make sure I am great at the job, I begin to play ridiculous scenarios in my mind to...
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Pournal 48: What Would Future Self Think
In the forty-eight podcast journal of Brain Vomit, I talk about how my girlfriend has kept me accountable these last couple days, helping me continue to accomplish my goals. Then I transition the reflection into talking about the strategy of asking your future self. How are you going to feel...
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Pournal 47: Weekend Can feel Like a Trap
In the forty-seventh podcast journal of Brain Vomit, I discuss how weekends can feel like a trap for me. I am someone who feeds off momentum, and the more days in a row I do a task or habit, the better and more consistent I am. Unfortunately, weekends have been engraved as a time to relax and for...
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Pournal 46: Keeping Myself Accountable
In the forty-sixth podcast journal of Brain Vomit, I keep my self accountable. I had my first day working at an excellent rooftop bar/restaurant in downtown Cincinnati. It was challenging since I had been sitting on my ass for three months, but it felt good to start making money moves. I ramble…
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Pournal 45: Rewarding My Hard Work
In the forty-fifth podcast journal of Brain Vomit, I discuss how these last couple weeks have been difficult, and I have been feeling burned out. A couple of days back, I incentivized my self to do all my chores and responsibilities by promising my self a bubble bath with a couple of beers (it…
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Pournal 44: Brain Vomit Has Become Difficult (No I am not quitting)
In the forty-fourth podcast journal of Brain Vomit, I talk about how my feelings have changed towards making Brain Vomit. When I created Brain Vomit, I was in a vulnerable and raw place in my life, but now that I have reflected my life throughout 44 pournals, I feel better. I talk about wanting…
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Pournal 43: Small Task Big Anxiety- Phone Calls
In the forty-third podcast journal of Brain Vomit, I discuss my significant anxiety revolving around making phone calls to help desks, companies, and many other calls. I reflect on why I fear making these phone calls and why I believe I began to fear making these calls. I wrap the pournal up by...
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Pournal 42: The Importance of Just Starting
In the forty-second podcast journal of Brain Vomit, I echo the critical message of just starting any goal project you have. Brain Vomit is the first project in my life that I was able to start, where I did not worry about the bigger plan or being successful... I just started. I am glad I started...
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Pournal 41: My Passion was Infront of my Eyes This Entire Time
In the forty-first podcast journal of Brain Vomit, I declare that I want to pursue a career in streaming. I discuss how I was scared to admit my passion for video games from fear of judgment. Then consider how the path of any artist is difficult since they usually are not lucrative. I finally…
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Pournal 40: How Social Anxiety is Impacting my Goals
In the fortieth podcast journal of Brain Vomit, I reflect on my personality and how deep down I am a weird individual. I talk about my dreams of being an entertainer but never pursuing a career in entertainment because of my social anxiety. I discuss how I believe I developed social anxiety and…
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Pournal 39: My Unhealthy Relationship With YouTube
In the thirty-ninth podcast journal of Brain Vomit, I discuss how YouTube usually derails my schedule because one video often turns into two hours. I don't have a shut-off valve, so I consume to my heart's content. I then talk about algorithms and how powerful they can be and keeping our…
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Pournal 38: I FAILED! Now I Continue
In the thirty-eight podcast journal of Brain Vomit, I discuss why I did not record for 19 days and how I felt like I failed myself. I touch on why I am scared of failure and judgment, but now I am going to reach my goal with this podcast, even if I trip 100 more times. Thanks to everyone who is...
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Pournal 37: Ignoring Emotions when Surviving
In the thirty-seventh podcast journal of Brain Vomit, I share how I am finally moving from my small apartment in New York City. I was overcome with emotions when I realized that I could leave. I then reflect on why I had so many feelings, and much of them had to do with being alone for 85 days in...
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Pournal 36: Seeking Validation Through Sex and Relationships
In the thirty-sixth podcast journal of BrainVomit, I have my friend Rob come on and speak about how he would use sex and people to feel better about his insecurities. We dive deep into the cultural impact of being a man who has a lot of sex, and how that gives you a sense of accomplishment even…
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Pournal 35: Finding Easy Comfort in Weed
In the thirty-fifth podcast journal of Brain Vomit, I discuss how my relationship with marijuana became extremely unhealthy. I would self medicate my anxieties, but slowly that turned into using weed for every part of my life. I analyze how weed stunted my university growth because it stopped me...
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Pournal 34: Living By The Mirror
In the thirty-fourth podcast journal of Brain Vomit, I discuss and try my best to explain Charles Cooley's theory of looking glass self. I talk about how my thoughts about what people thought of me guided most of my actions. I dive deep into how, when I thought someone liked me or accepted me, I...
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Pournal 33: How Vomiting is Deeply Connected to Self Reflection
In the thirty-third podcast journal of Brain Vomit, I talk about the superficial reason of why the imagery of a brain vomiting represents self-reflection. Then I get into the meat and potatoes of this pournal and explain why vomiting is a perfect representation of self-reflection. I wrap up the...
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Pournal 31: The Amazing Community of Small Podcasters and How They Have Helped Me
In the thirty-first podcast journal of Brain Vomit, I discuss how I forgot what it felt like to be in a community of like-minded individuals who are pursuing the same goals. Having people be supportive and engaging in your work feels fantastic, and no one is better at this than the small…
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Pournal 30: My Bad Habits From Being a Mamas Boy
In the thirtieth podcast journal of Brain Vomit, I discuss my mom's unconditional love and willingness to help me complete chores, homework, and more. These actions turned me into a mamas boy. I learned a lesson that if someone loved you and wanted to see you succeed, they would move mountains…
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Pournal 29: Seeking Attention When I Am Drunk
In the twenty-ninth podcast journal of Brain Vomit, I discuss how we must reflect on our relationships with the drugs we use because we all have different wiring and chemistry in our brains. I reflect on the harmful habit I created when I am drunk, which is acting in extreme manners so I can…
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Pournal 28: I Need to be Organized or I Spiral Out of Control
In the twenty-eight podcast journal of Brain Vomit, I discuss how recently I have become disorganized because of not scheduling my day and my mind being clutter with the various responsibilities of moving out. I talk about the black hole of instant gratification I get sucked into when I am not...
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Pournal 27: Trying to Avoid the Limbo of Regret
In the twenty-seventh podcast journal of Brain Vomit, I discuss how scary regret is by quoting Trevor Noah and his book Born A Crime. I continue the pournal by discussing research I found that claims many of us begin to feel significant regret in our 50's-60's. That during these ages, we begin to...
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Pournal 26: Should I Stay? Or Should I Go?
In the twenty-sixth podcast journal of Brain Vomit, I discuss with my newest guest, the difficult decision of going to college close to home or far away. We talk about the challenges of being in a new city and not knowing anyone, how it can be challenging to find the right friends for you. My…
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Pournal 25: Loving My Unique Beauty
In the twenty-fifth podcast journal of Brain Vomit, I discuss my struggle with my physical beauty. My main challenge was my acne because I had a tone, and I felt like an outcast because of how obvious it was. I talk about how much self hate I would feel every morning to the point I would not let...
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Pournal 24: One of Those Days
In the twenty-fourth podcast journal of Brain Vomit, I talk about how yesterday I woke up down and just not a good mood. I slipped into bad habits and spent the entire day playing video games and not doing any of my responsibilities. I talk about how long it takes to build a habit (on average, 66...
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Pournal 23: Stop Dreaming and Take Action
In the twenty-third podcast journal of Brain Vomit, I discuss how I am jealous of friends and loved ones who have found vocations they are passionate about. The jealousy stems from my inability to find something that drives me day in and day out. I have had many big dreams, but never once have I...
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Pournal 22: How Art Can Heal Your Pain
In the twenty-second podcast journal of Brain Vomit, I talk to the fantastic abstract artist Kibbi Linga. She discusses how she uses art to process the variety of pain and emotions she feels and how she started art therapy as a tool to help her PTSD. Kibbi also discusses how she understands…
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Pournal 21: Not Letting My Love Life Get Stale
In the twenty-first podcast journal of Brain Vomit, I recently came across a poetry collection my girlfriend had written to me for one of our anniversaries. The poetry brought back great memories but also helped me realized that I had gotten lost in the mundanes of daily life. I had stopped…
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Pournal 20: How to Watch Television/Movies Responsibly
In the twentieth podcast journal of Brain Vomit, I get into a deep conversation about our consumption of television/movies with my fantastic guest DT. We discuss the importance of our schools, adding courses that teach us how to consume all the media we have responsibly and analytically. DT…
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Pournal 19: The Unhealthy Habit of Being a YES Man
In the nineteenth podcast journal of Brain Vomit, I talk about how my need for outside approval helped me develop a dependency in saying yes to any persons request. How saying yes lead me to make terrible decision in my life because I was jumping off cliffs without giving it a second thought.…
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Pournal 18: Thank You Loved Ones for Putting Up With Me
In the eighteenth podcast journal of Brain Vomit, I thank all my friends and family for putting up with my weak moments. I am far from perfect and have mistreated many people I care about, but they still stuck with me. Thanks for seeing me for who I am and not just some of the dumb decisions I…
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Pournal 17: Breaking the Negative Patterns and Crutches I Created for Comfort
In the seventeenth podcast journal of Brain Vomit, I explain cognitive dissonance, and how the wide chasm between my actions and my ideas of who I wanted to be caused severe depression and anxiety in my life. To deal with that depression, I turned to video games, getting lost in the worlds they...
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Pournal 16: The Life Changing Experience of Being an Exchange Student
In the sixteenth podcast journal of Brain Vomit, we have a guest coming to us from Hungary. We speak about how his one year exchange to Portland Oregon changed him for the better. We also touch base on the struggle of being in a country you know nothing about and how that uncomfortable feeling...
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Pournal 15: The Escapism we Find in Video Games and Much More
In the fifteenth podcast journal of Brain Vomit, we have a new anonymous guest who speaks about how she has found comfort in the predictability in popular video games such as Animal Crossing and Sims. Then we discuss some of our real-life anxieties that heighten the comfort level these virtual...
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Pournal 14: The Science Behind Rejection and How to Cope
In the fourteenth podcast journal of Brain Vomit, I have the unique opportunity to host the first-ever anonymous guest. She informs about the science behind the mechanisms that cause the pain behind the rejection. Then we discuss her stories of times she felt significantly rejected and how she…
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Pournal 13: Lets Take a Trip, with A Dose of Ari (Parental Advisory)
In the thirteenth podcast journal of Brain Vomit, I get to discuss and share my experiences about psychedelics with a fellow podcaster Ari, who brings her insight and thoughts to the topic. We get into a variety of topics, stories, and ideas, many revolving or connecting into psychedelics.…
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Pournal 12: The Importance of Personal Space in Quarantine
In the twelfth podcast journal of Brain Vomit, I talk about how COVID is changing and will continue to change the lifestyle we all live. I then discuss and analyze how being in quarantine with my girlfriend negatively impacted our relationship and our sense of personal space. Finally, I discuss…
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Pournal 11: Making the Best of a Bad Situation
In the eleventh podcast journal of Brain Vomit, I talk about how our imaginations make problems bigger than they are. Sharing my struggles with being quarantined alone in a small apartment in NYC and how I snapped out of the negative mind frame I created. Finishing up the journal with the silver...
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Pournal 10: Lies Will Solve Everything, Right?
In the tenth podcast journal of Brain Vomit, I talk about how I have lied for the majority of my life, transitioning into categorizing the two kinds of lies I have told for most of my life and how those lies have negatively impacted my relationships. Discussing why we should all avoid malicious...
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Pournal 9: My Biggest Fear and The Importance of Examining Our Fears
In the ninth podcast journal of Brain Vomit, I talk about how the fear of death has impacted my life negatively from a very young age and how I struggled to live a daily life because that fear weighed me down. I also analyze how many fears arise from not knowing or feeling unsure and what we can…
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Pournal 8: How I Experience Love and The Five Love Languages
In the eighth podcast journal of Brain Vomit, I discuss Dr. Gary Chapman's book and concept surrounding love languages. Hitting on the important topic that most of us use one of the five expressions, which are quality time, physical touch, gift-giving, acts of service, and words of affirmation....
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
You will listen to me a confused 23 year old reflect on my anxieties, emotions, and memories. Helping myself and listeners forge a more profound sense of self. Will laugh, will cry, but most importantly, will GROW.
HOSTED BY
Xavier Rodriguez Jackson
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Brain Vomit have?
Brain Vomit currently has 57 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Brain Vomit about?
You will listen to me a confused 23 year old reflect on my anxieties, emotions, and memories. Helping myself and listeners forge a more profound sense of self. Will laugh, will cry, but most importantly, will GROW.
How often does Brain Vomit release new episodes?
Brain Vomit has 57 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
Where can I listen to Brain Vomit?
You can listen to Brain Vomit on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Brain Vomit?
Brain Vomit is created and hosted by Xavier Rodriguez Jackson.
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