Chronicles of a Healing Soul

It's funny. In this current moment, as I'm typing these words, I'm doing about four different things at once. That is the kind of person I tend to be. And maybe you can relate. I have noticed that in an attempt to 'make things okay,' we tend to slip into anxiety loops. Or we slip into denial, using noise to drown things out. Either way, it's worth leaning into the stillness and silence.  Join me, as I dive into this topic, facing the discomfort of stillness and how it just might open our minds to something better: A truth that says, "God is God. And I'm okay."   Support my Work: https://buymeacoffee.com/elizabethhayashi Subscribe to my Substack! ... My Reading: "Diary Entry: January 28, 2023" by Elizabeth Hayashi; and "A Necessary Discomfort" by Elizabeth Hayashi Scripture References: "Be still and know that I am God..." Psalm 46:10 God's voice described as a 'still small voice': 1 Kings 19:11-13 Verse about 'losing your life for Christ': Matthew 16:25 My poem, "A Necessary Discomfort" is based on this verse: Isaiah 30:15 Closing Scripture reading: Lamentations 3:24-26, 28 Music Credit: Kate Kody, "Butterfly;" all rights protected under the Creative Commons License; minor changes made to the length of the track.

Just wanted to say hi! My next full episode will come out this coming Tuesday, April 15. I will begin a mini series on empty spaces, in which we will kick off the conversation by discussing stillness and silence. Until then, may you find little moments of stillness and rest well.  

So many things in life demand our attention that sometimes we forget about our physical health. Hey, I've been there, so I know. But today, I am stepping back and talking about the importance of prioritizing our physical health. Not because we need to measure up to some standard. But because our bodies have such inherent value. As a Christian, I talk about how God values our bodies and wants us to take care of ourselves. In this podcast, I also celebrate the invisible work being done by those who are seriously chronically ill or in pain. It does not always feel like a glamorous lifestyle. But it is worthy work done to honor a worthy body. Keep it up, my friend.  Support my Work: https://buymeacoffee.com/elizabethhayashi Subscribe to my Substack! ... My Reading: "Why God Cares About Self Care" by Elizabeth Hayashi Scripture References: "Don't grow weary in doing good..." Galatians 6:9 "Consider it all joy..." James 1:2-4 "He trains my hands for battle..." Psalm 18:34 "Offer your bodies as a living sacrifice..." Romans 1:2 "You are altogether beautiful, my love..." Song of Solomon 4:7 "He brings forth food from the earth..." Psalm 104:14-15 The verse about Jesus wanting the resurrected girl to eat... Mark 5:43 The verse about Paul telling his mentee to care for his stomach... 1 Timothy 5:23 "Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit... 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 The accounts of Jesus death as referenced in my essay are Matthew 27:32-36; Mark 15:21-41; Luke 23:26-56; and John 19 "I am fearfully and wonderfully made..." Psalm 139:14 Music Credit: Kate Kody, "Butterfly;" all rights protected under the Creative Commons License; minor changes made to the length of the track.

If you are facing chronic pain, you are not alone. My brother Jonny and I have both experienced serious chronic back injuries, in which we faced years of pain. We made it through, but we know how hard it can be. And we want to take a moment to share some of the practical tips and tricks we learned along the way. Join us for a conversation on exercise, self care, and dopamine regulation. As mentioned in the podcast, everything discussed in this episode is meant for entertainment alone, not to provide any kind of medical advice. Please consult a doctor if you are dealing with serious prolonged pain. Subscribe to my Substack! Music Credit: Kate Kody, "Butterfly;" all rights protected under the Creative Commons License; minor changes made to the length of the track.

To read my poem 'Right Now But Not Yet,' subscribe to my Substack! What happens when perfect spiritual realities meet imperfect physical realities? My story is just one answer to that question. Within the last couple months, I have been experiencing miraculous physical healing while also painfully aware of my humanness. Maybe you can relate. Or maybe you're only aware of the painful realities of your existence. Or maybe you're so caught up in the miraculous. Wherever you find yourself, in this podcast I encourage you to be curious about what could more be true. Music Credit: Kate Kody, "Butterfly;" all rights protected under the Creative Commons License; minor changes made to the length of the track.

Cancer. Nobody wants to hear that word. Nobody likes the things associated with that word... at least, not normally. But through an incredible and unexpected journey, my father-in-law, Dave, came to associate his own cancer journey with the love of his Heavenly Father.  When I sat down to interview 'Mr. Dave' (as the students at his workplace call him), I was honestly not prepared for the incredibly raw yet inspiring story I was about to hear. I could never have expected to hear about such physical and emotional pain intermixed with such faith in a loving God.  What an honor to get to carry his story on my own space here online.  May this story meet you wherever you are today. And know that whatever you are walking through, you are not alone! Music Credit: Kate Kody, "Butterfly;" all rights protected under the Creative Commons License; minor changes made to the length of the track.

It's so good to be back! After a much needed holiday, I'm back with excitement for this New Year! Even though I'm laying on my bed because of ongoing back problems, I decided to record a podcast anyway! I'm learning to live joyfully amidst pain. So, join me in my ponderings as I reflect on the new year and everything I've been learning about identity. Stick around until the end to hear me compare myself to a flower pot! Music Credit: Intro music for this podcast was mixed by the lovely STELLA!  My Reading: "The Ceramic Flower Pot" by Elizabeth Hayashi

Christmas is a season when we ache to be loved. But what does it mean to be loved at Christmas time? Does it mean that we get the most glittering gift or that we have the most beautiful family? Or is it possibly something deeper?  Do you believe love can meet you in the dark moments of your life? I invite you to investigate a love that is real enough to meet you wherever you are today.   Music Credit: Intro music for this podcast was mixed by the lovely STELLA!  My Reading: "An Unexpected Love" by Elizabeth Hayashi Scripture Reference: Luke 1:26-40; Matthew 1:18-25

Is it truly "the most wonderful time of the year"? While Christmas can be a happy season, it can also be a heavy season. The grief is real.  But let me ask you something: Do you believe there is a joy that can meet you where you are, despite the grief and pain? I believe it can, but it's gotta be real and powerful. And what is powerful enough to source that kind of joy? Is it possible that the answer lies within the Christmas story itself? Find out with me as we explore this powerful topic.   Music Credit: Intro music for this podcast was mixed by the lovely STELLA!  My Reading: "Encounter with a Shepherd" by Elizabeth Hayashi Scripture Reference: Luke 2:8-20

What gives a child the confidence to dream big? I think it's because she has no reason to doubt her dreams. She has not yet experienced enough disappointment to cloud her childlike faith. She is so confident that every Christmas morning, there will be presents under the tree. So far, she has always found this to be true. But how do we keep dreaming when it gets hard? Hope so easily slips from our grasp. Past disappointments cloud our excitement for the future. What is a hope that is powerful enough to anchor our dreams amidst the storms of life? Join me as I explore the power of hope. And how this Christmas could just be pointing us to the greatest hope of all.   Music Credit: Intro music for this podcast was mixed by the lovely STELLA!  My Reading: "Hope the Resurrection of a Dream" by Elizabeth Hayashi Scripture References: When I talk about the pain of an unfulfilled hope, I am referencing Proverbs 13:12 When I mention Jesus as an anchor, I am referencing Hebrews 6:19

I cannot deny the divine healing in my life. But the miraculous might happen right where we least expect it. Sometimes, it happens even in the midst of the unpleasant.  Join me as I share how God has brought healing in my life! Also, happy Christmas Time!   Music Credit: Intro music for this podcast was mixed by the lovely STELLA!  My Reading: "Now I Remember" by Elizabeth Hayashi

Welcome to the 'How Does Healing Happen' Intermission! Today, I wrestle through the very human struggle of trying to balance both hope for the future and acceptance of the present. I admit, I have not figured this topic out! I'm posting this episode not to share a victory or a finding. But rather to invite you into forming your own thoughts and to spark conversation surrounding this topic. Dare to tread the depths with me!   Music Credit: Intro music for this podcast was mixed by the lovely STELLA!  My Reading: "The Weary Gardener" and "Weakness and Stillness" by Elizabeth Hayashi Scripture References: When I say "The Gentle Shepherd that makes me lay down," I am referencing Psalm 23:2 When I say, "You call me to rejoice in my suffering," I'm referencing Romans 5:3 and James 1:2

In a hurting world, we all need healing from something. So, it's important for everyone to know how healing happens. In this podcast, I explore the answers that many people have given to this question. I grew up in the church, and have heard a lot of different answers to how healing happens. I think the church is beautiful, but the church is for imperfect people. Which means sometimes, we give imperfect answers to important questions, like 'how does healing happen.'  But I have found that every answer can only lead in one of two directions: trusting in myself or trusting in God. Which is it? And how do we define trust and faith? Listen to find out.    Music Credit: Intro music for this podcast was mixed by the lovely STELLA!  My Reading: "Beautiful Faith" by Elizabeth Hayashi Scripture References: Psalm 103:1-4 Passage about no more tears, pain, or suffering − Revelation 21:4 Passage about meeting with the elders to pray − James 5:14-15 The promise that if you ask, seek, and knock you will find − Matthew 7:7-8

So, I forgot to mention in this episode that when I got married, I moved. Keep that in mind because it helps explain what I talk about today! Today is all about embracing new seasons. Each season has its unique beauty. And let's be real. Sometimes, it's really hard to see that beauty. Sometimes, that's because the season we're in is really hard. But sometimes it's because the season we just left was so amazing, we wish we could go back. To be perfectly honest, that's been me recently. But I want to live fully in the now! So, join me as I explore this concept, wrestle through it, and apply it to my own life.     Music Credit: Intro music for this podcast was mixed by the lovely STELLA!  My Reading: "Eyes of Gold" and "Still the Same Prayer" by Elizabeth Hayashi Scripture References: (I don't directly quote any Scripture in this episode, but some of my ideas in this episode are inspired by Biblical concepts. I'm leaving the references for those in case you want to explore them more!) When I say God wants us to live abundantly, I'm thinking about this passage − John 10:10 When I say everything good in our lives is from God, I'm thinking about this passage − James 1:17 From "Eyes of Gold" "Sweet as honey, rich as gold" − Psalm 19:10 "If spit and mud must get me there" − John 9:1-6 "Scaly eyes" − Acts 9:18

Why do I believe we can find light in the dark places? And why do I believe we can find beauty in pain? Today, I touch the core of my approach to suffering. I have been talking a lot about chronic pain, searching for beauty and hope in the experience of it all. I believe hope can be found. But what is the source of that hope? Find out with me as I share a raw moment of my life, and a writing I created in that moment.  Music Credit: Intro music for this podcast was mixed by the lovely STELLA!  My Reading: "Pain and the Eternal Investment" by Elizabeth Hayashi Scripture Reference: Matthew 16:21-27

When was the last time you sat and did nothing? Ok, so I know we are all very busy people. We don't have time just to sit. Especially when we have a career to achieve, kids to care for, health issues to tend to.... You get the picture. But I believe that slowing down and being in the moment is vital to actually living. And ok, I know this is crazy. But I believe we can still choose the moment even when it's busy. Today, I share a story about trying to live in the moment, despite crippling back pain. I also share a poem I wrote just for you! Music Credit: Intro music for this podcast was mixed by the lovely STELLA!  Scripture Reference: This is the passage about God as "I AM": Exodus 3:7-10, 13-14

My brother's college sports career came interrupted by a severe sports injury. Only two years later, he experienced disk herniation in his lower back. But his story is not just about sports injuries and chronic pain. It's a story of identity, leaning on others, and the development of inner strength.  Find out with me what happened when Jonny's passion, running track, was taken from his life for years. Could the loss of a good thing end up leading to something even better?  

Today I talk about my struggle with depression in the midst of chronic pain. I personally think I am a pretty passionate person, but this kind of pain kept me from feeling much passion at all. Have you ever felt the same way? Depression is real and not a topic I want to toss around lightly, but I'm also not afraid to talk about it either. If you're ready to brave these topics, let's dive in together!   Music Credit: Intro music for this podcast was mixed by the lovely STELLA!    Readings: The Unending Flight by Elizabeth Hayashi; and A Wasteland Where Flowers Grow by Elizabeth Hayashi References:  "Depression (Major Depressive Disorder)." Mayo Clinic. October 14, 2022. Accessed September 24, 2025. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/symptoms-causes/syc-20356007.   

A good vantage point allows us to see more clearly. We become aware of beauty we hadn't noticed before. We get a better perspective of the world. Can suffering become a vantage point? Let me know what you think in the comments below.   Music Credit: Intro music for this podcast was mixed by the lovely STELLA!  Reading: Vantage Points by Elizabeth Hayashi References:  Anne Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts (Eugene Oregon: W Publishing Group, 2010), pp. 131-132

What do you do when embracing the future means leaving precious things behind? Today, I share about my first year of living completely on my own from my family. How does one balance such excitement and heartbreak?   Music Credit: Intro music for this podcast was mixed by the lovely STELLA!  Reading: On Growing Up by Elizabeth Hayashi   

Sometimes brave choices only follow deep anxiety. Today, I'm getting a little crazy and sharing a few of my teenage diary entries. GASP! As a girl, I felt led to be more than the awkward, nerdy church girl everyone knew me to be. How could I move beyond the comforts of my familiar small town and embrace college life in California. My diary entries reveal how I finally made peace with this decision.   Music Credit: Intro music for this podcast was mixed by the lovely STELLA!  References:  I wish I could remember the lovely story book that talked about the butterfly and the chrysalis. If this is something you want to know about, leave a comment. And I will do more digging. Scriptures Referenced "God chose the weak things of the world..." 1 Corinthians 1:27 The story about God calling an individual - Jeremiah 1 "a shelter and shade..." Isaiah 4:2-6 The 'sign in the bathrooms' was a Scripture verse: "Be strong and courageous..." Joshua 1:9 Scripture about shining for Jesus - Matthew 5:14-16

When I lost my Grandad, it felt like a gut punch. Today, I share my thoughts on grief. If you are grieving a loved one, this episode is my best attempt at giving you a hug through my podcast. Music Credit: Intro music for this podcast was mixed by the lovely STELLA!  References: The scripture I referenced in this podcast is Psalm 34:18.

In the middle of the ugly, is joy still possible? Maybe all it takes is a little treasure hunt. Let's search together!   Music Credit: Intro music for this podcast was mixed by the lovely STELLA!  References: Matthew 6:22-23: "The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!" Anne Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts (Eugene Oregon: W Publishing Group, 2010), p. 105.

Am I the only one who thinks good change is hard? Leaving old struggles, labels, and pain can seem impossible! Join me as I explore this challenge. Music Credit: The instrumental intro in this podcast was mixed by none other than the beautiful STELLA! References: Shadows Run ~ by Elizabeth Hayashi

Today I share the second half of my health journey! This episode is especially near to my heart as I talk about things I am facing in the present. Together, we'll tackle topics of thyroid issues, burnout, chronic pain, and wrestling faith.  Can't wait to get started! Music Credit: The instrumental intro in this podcast was mixed by none other than the beautiful STELLA! References: My Reading: Bleeding Woman Part 2, by Elizabeth Hayashi The story of the bleeding woman – Mark 5:24–34 Book referenced: Gentle and Lowly by Dane Ortlund; ch.2, p.33 Psalm referenced: Psalm 131:1

Today, I share part 1 of my health journey. Join me as I brave topics of internalized anxiety, disordered eating, and thyroid issues. I hope that sharing the things I've learned will be a gift to you! Music Credit: The instrumental intro in this podcast was mixed by none other than the beautiful STELLA! References: My Reading - Bleeding Woman Part 1, by Elizabeth Hayashi Story of the bleeding woman - Mark 5:24-34 "The daddy in that other story..." This is 'that other story' that I briefly mention in today's reading - Mark 9:14-29

Welcome to Chronicles of a Healing Soul! Today I introduce my podcast, explain my title, and share my heart for you. Stick around 'til the end to hear my first two readings!   Music Credit: The instrumental intro in this podcast was mixed by none other than the beautiful Stella! References: My Readings "Waiting for a Miracle," by Elizabeth Hayashi "It's OK to Groan," by Elizabeth Hayashi When I say, "I'm that healing girl," I was inspired by a concept from this book: I'm That Girl. by Pear Barrett and Serene Allison Scriptures: "How long O Lord, how long" - Psalm 13:1 "The Spirit groans..." - Romans 8:26 The example of Jesus 'groaning' - John 11:3 The verse about the children of God groaning - Romans 8:23 "When the perishable is swallowed by the imperishable" - 1 Corinthians 15:54