Corey Ryan Forrester’s Rants and Such!

For this week’s episode of Thoreau Back Thursday (which if you’re just joining us is where, every Thursday, I read an old poem or essay etc and analyze it) I am breaking form a little bit to honor the late great Dolly Parton, a true poet who we tragically lost this week. If you have never heard this song, please do yourself a favor and rectify that RIGHT NOW! Hope yall are enjoying this series! Love yall! More later Corey Corey Ryan Forrester’s Rants and Such! is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

Me and the boys got the news right before we hit record so we apologize for the somber tone of this podcast, but it is an absolutely devastating thing that has happened. RIP to our undisputed Queen (This is the WellRED podcast, which will be released wide tomorrow morning as it is every wednesday, but I assumed you all would like to hear it now)More later Corey Y’all, did you know that while you can always listen /watch what I do for free, if I could double my paid subscribers by this time next year, I could justify being a stay at home dad who does nothing but writes and podcasts for you? A long time dream of mine! Help me make it come true if you have the extra coin and my work brings value to your life! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

enjoy!Hey Free Readers! Did you know that while you can always listen /watch what I do for free, if I could double my paid subscribers by this time next year, I could justify being a stay at home dad who does nothing but writes and podcasts for you? A long time dream of mine! Help me make it come true if you have the extra coin and my work brings value to your life!(I’ll still love you regardless!) This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

Here Are The Links to Parts 1-3 in Case You Need To Play Catch-Up, & The Video Above Is Me Explaining My Absence. I hope you understand. I Love YouHere We Rest Part 1 Here We Rest Part 2 Here We Rest Part 3 Here We Rest Part 4I sat there and looked at where that scar used to be for way too long.Hell, how long had it been? I wondered. Which made me realize if I was still sitting there wondering all of this, then it was probably taking even longer than I thought.I pulled my eyes up real quick and made eye contact with Sheriff Stevens. I was sure I had just freaked everybody out, but I tried to remember what that shrink told me once: “Your paranoia gives you a false sense of reality. You make the worst out of every situation in your brain. No matter what, I promise you it’s not as bad as you think.”Sheila then asked if she could speak to me outside.“What the f**k are you doing? You are freaking everybody out!” she said.Goddammit, I knew it. One thing that f*****g shrink never said, but should have, is that just because I’m crazy don’t mean I ain’t right sometimes.“Look, it’s nothing,” I said. “I guess I’m still just a little bit in shock from what I saw earlier.”“Are you still drinking?” she asked.“Still drinking? What do you mean still drinking? Don’t you mean ‘am I drinking again?’ I sobered up, remember? I told you I would—” I said, not sure if I even believed myself.“Listen, Sonny Boy—”“Oh, goddammit, so I’m still Sonny Boy to you too, huh?”She took a step back. “Listen—”“Chickaluki is a very small town, with only one liquor store, might I remind you,” I interjected, trying to change the subject, “and it’s about goddamn time, too. Hell, everybody on the council knew this entire town was drunks, but for years we had to go across state lines to get anything stronger than a beer, and our hard-earned money went with us instead of going back into the community. I mean, it’s just plum ignorance at this point. Of course, they say things only get better one funeral at a time.”She started shaking her fists and running in place, trying not to start punching me.“Goddammit, quit acting like it’s fine. Quit acting like nothing is wrong with you. Quit acting, period!”This stung. I could say nothing. I let her continue.“You ain’t stopped drinking. That’s just what you tell people when they offer you one and you’re too hungover from the night before.”Goddamn, she knew me. I hated that.“And you and the word ‘sober’ ain’t been acquainted since I’ve known you. You seem to think that just means you ain’t falling-down drunk every goddamn night. Even when you do manage to put the bottle down for longer than College Football Bowl Week, you’ll still sneak a toot with Bubba. And that ‘emergency bottle’ you kept in the cabinet for your back pain? I’m not an idiot. I could hear you refill it every week. Sorry to finally let you know that even though you gave it your best effort, our sink ain’t that loud when you run it, Sonny Boy!”I didn’t have anything to say. And even if I did, it wouldn’t have mattered.“Goodbye, Sheila. I won’t bother you no more,” I finally said as I walked away.She protested briefly, but I know that was only out of some sort of guilt. Guilt that she didn’t even deserve to feel. She’d given me a dressing-down. She’d been mean. But weren’t a speck of it a lie.There are some things I’m about to tell you that don’t make sense. At least in the way we’ve come to understand the world. But it’s possible that your world isn’t my world. That’s how it has felt for the most part of my life, but something really snapped loose around this period. I don’t know if it was what Sheila said to me or what. There’s clearly been something wrong with me as long as I can remember, but it had at least always felt like it was rooted in the real world.Now, I’m not so sure.I got in my truck and began crying. Deep, panic-soaked sobs. The kind of crying you do as a kid when you can’t use your words. And I couldn’t. I was hyperventilating, but at least no one was there to see it. I don’t think I could have stomached that. My air conditioner was shot, which wasn’t helping. My tears and sweat became one, and I was drenched from head to toe with misery and shame.I flicked on the radio, and it was on a station I didn’t recognize. “Mack the Knife” was playing, and somehow I knew all the words. They poured out of me like I was being asked to sing at gunpoint.Oh, the shark, babe, has such teeth, dearAnd it shows them pearly whiteJust a jackknife has old Macheath, babeAnd he keeps it, ah, out of sightYou know when that shark bites with his teeth, babeScarlet billows start to spreadFancy gloves, oh, wears old Macheath, babeSo there’s never, never a trace of red“Mack the Knife” is such a popular song that it would almost be statistically impossible for a man of my age not to have heard it many times over. But this was the first time I’d actually paid attention to the lyrics, and they were somehow coming out of my mouth. I’d never known this song was about a murderer. The name should give it away, but I’d never thought too much into it. It’s absolutely insane that this song was such a mainstream hit, played at parties with people of all ages, no parent ever concerned about what their kid was hearing. Lucy and Ricky couldn’t even share the same bed or say the word “pregnant” on air, but this song about a knife-wielding criminal from across the pond is a family-friendly tune so long as it’s got a big band playing behind it.Through the duration of the song, I had calmed down and stopped crying. Against better judgment, I thought that maybe stopping for a beer would make me feel better. It no doubt would in the short term.I grabbed my rearview mirror and pulled it toward the driver’s side so I could check the situation with my eyes. I didn’t want anyone to know I was crying, or have them think that I was stoned out of my mind—even though people probably thought that anyway.The mirror short-circuited.I’m aware that mirrors can’t do that, but I’m just telling you what I saw. It glitched back and forth, and when it finally came to rest, the Me that was in the mirror was not the Me I knew. I was wearing a newsboy hat, and I had quite the tan.My truck was not my truck, either. I appeared to be in some classic from the thirties. I got out, and sure enough, it was a bright yellow Packard with black trim and yellow wheels. I had dreamed about this car before, and that’s surely what I was doing then. Except I could feel the heat coming off the engine. Lucid dreams are a real thing, and I’ve had experiences with them, but you can’t actually feel anything. That’s a pretty standard rule for dreaming.Y’all, did you know that while you can always listen /watch what I do for free, if I could double my paid subscribers by this time next year, I could justify being a stay at home dad who does nothing but writes and podcasts for you? A long time dream of mine! Help me make it come true if you have the extra coin and my work brings value to your life!Of course, it’s possible that I was dreaming this feeling. The brain is complex. Even mine. I reckon it could simulate a feeling close enough that it could trick itself while deep in REM.I walked around for a minute and tried to figure out where I was in my dream. I was parked in a vacant gravel lot, and there was no sign of civilization as far as my pitiful eyes could see. I really needed to get them checked. Sheila was always on my ass about that. But there was no time for that at the moment.I crested a slight hill and noticed a gas station. A filling station, rather. That’s what they called ’em back in the old days where I’m from, and in this dream, I was clearly in the old days. There were men outside helping people, and they were dressed like the Maytag Man. This was like a scene from a movie that the DMT was firing out of my brain. I thought it was quite possible I was dying.The people outside acknowledged my existence with a grin and a tip of the cap. The worker inside gave me an odd look as I gazed around at the shelves of motor oil and other liquids in glass containers. It looked less like a store for humans and their cars and more like a place robots would go to get groceries.“Sonny Boy, how’s the family?” the man said from behind the counter.What an odd dream this is. I figured since I was in the middle of a lucid state, I’d try to have some fun with it. I thought about taking off and flying, but it wasn’t working. I stood there with my eyes fixed on the heavens—or in this case, the ceiling of the filling station and bounced up and down on my tiptoes, grunting and trying to make it happen. Nothing doing.The man looked at me oddly.“Sorry, just trying to get my stretches in. The family is fine. I’ll tell them you asked about them.”I walked outside, and it was about ten degrees hotter. Is it possible to have a panic attack in a dream? Because if so, that’s what felt like was happening to me.I got back in my Packard and headed down a dirt road. I could see Hilltop Mountain, and Okaloosa Creek was on my left, so geography-wise, I knew where I was. But the billboard with that fat guy selling insurance was nowhere in sight. I could smell the fumes coming off my car, and I could smell the honeysuckle in the air. There wasn’t a cloud in sight, and the sky was the most beautiful I had ever seen it.I kept driving along until, on the side of the road, I saw a man broken down in a garbage truck. Dream or no dream, I was always taught to help, so I got out and planned to ask him if there was anything I could do for him.His head was buried in the engine and I couldn’t tell who it was, but I knew it was a man because no matter what century I was in, in Chickaluki, women rarely wore overalls. I didn’t want to frighten him. I scare very easily, so if I was working on my car and someone came up to try to talk to me and I wasn’t expecting them, I would probably jump and hit my head on the hood. I tried to treat others the way I would want to be treated, even though, between you and me, that seems to be going out of fashion.I dragged my feet on the gravel so as to make some light noise that wasn’t intimidating. I heard him drop the wrench, and then he closed the hood.Before he had a chance to say anything, I said, “Need a hand there, mister?”His face turned white. “Sonny Boy?” he asked, as if he knew me, but it had been a very long time since he’d seen me.I responded, “Yessir. Sorry if I don’t recognize you, I’m not good with faces.”He looked me up and down like he was a baseball scout and I was a future prospect. “Sonny Boy?” he asked again.“Yes, sir, that’s my name,” I said, though if I’m being honest, in the confusion that had just occurred over the last hour, I wasn’t so sure what was true and what wasn’t.He began sweating, and his lip was quivering.“I’m about to ask you something,” he said in about as serious a tone as one could muster.“I’m all ears, sir.”“You are Sonny Boy, there is no doubt about that. But the fact that you don’t know who I am leads me to believe that you aren’t the right one.”I’m not the right one? What the hell does that mean? I’ve certainly heard that from women in my entire life, but they didn’t look petrified when they said it. Matter of fact, some of them looked downright happy to be letting me down and upsetting me. “Sir, you’ll have to excuse me for sounding rude,” I said, “but I didn’t catch a question in there, did I?”“Sonny Boy. When we were in Korea, what was our favorite bar?”“Sir, I don’t know if this is some sort of trick question, but I’ve never been to Korea in my life.”The man froze. “That’s what I was afraid of. Quick. Get in the back of your car and lay down, and don’t say a f****n’ word.”He hopped in the driver’s seat of my Packard and fired it up. I stared at him for what felt like an eternity. All I wanted to do was wake up, but it became increasingly clear that that wasn’t gonna happen.“Do you want to live, goddamnit? Get in the back of the car!”I could really use that beer about now.We hauled ass, and whether it was from exhaustion or something else,hell possibly mystical for all I know, I blacked out.To be continued...More Later Corey Y’all, did you know that while you can always listen /watch what I do for free, if I could double my paid subscribers by this time next year, I could justify being a stay at home dad who does nothing but writes and podcasts for you? A long time dream of mine! Help me make it come true if you have the extra coin and my work brings value to your life!Don’t like recurring payments but still wanna support? I take one time donations, PBS style, of any amount big or small on PayPal at [email protected] on Venmo @ButterCreamCoreyQR codes for both are below! Thank you for your support! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

For this week’s old school poem, we are reading Robert Frost’s most famous. Hell it might be the most famous poem in the world for all I know! Not only do I read the poem, but I also discuss some potential misunderstandings of the text! Hope y’all are enjoying this series and you have a wonderful Thursday! More laterCorey Y’all, did you know that while you can always listen /watch what I do for free, if I could double my paid subscribers by this time next year, I could justify being a stay at home dad who does nothing but writes and podcasts for you? A long time dream of mine! Help me make it come true if you have the extra coin and my work brings value to your life!Don’t like recurring payments but still wanna support? I take one time donations, PBS style, of any amount big or small on PayPal at [email protected] on Venmo @ButterCreamCoreyQR codes for both are below! Thank you for your support! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

THIS IS WHAT WE PLAY FOR!!!!!Y’all, it has been a helluva ride! In my personal opinion this has been the best season of HOTD so far. Characters evolved both for the good and for the bad, and lord almighty was their ever death and destruction!Whether you were a green or a black or just Ulfin’ it up with a beer on the sidelines, House of The Dragons Season 3 had a little something for everyone. I had an absolute BLAST recording this series with my best friend/sister Lady Kirby Askew this year, and it pains me so much that with production schedules being what they are on multi-million dollar shows, it’s likely that we wont be doing it again for several more years.I hope that you too have enjoyed watching/listening to our recaps as much as we’ve enjoyed making them. You know I’m passionate about something when I don’t mind taking notes (if any of my high school teachers are reading this, i’m sorry!) We’ve had people comment and say that either a.) they started watching the show just so they could watch our recaps or b.) they DON’T EVEN WATCH LITTLE HOUSE OF THE DRAGON but still watch our recaps! I cannot tell you how much that means to both of us… really makes us feel loved!Here we go one last time, and what a hell of a send off they gave us! Please feel free to discuss the finale in the comments and maybe give us your thoughts on where you think season 4 is headed!Oh, also… maybe tell Lady Kirby what her ass needs to do on Tik Tok to entertain y’all 😂EnjoyMore laterCoreyY’all, did you know that while you can always listen /watch what I do for free, if I could double my paid subscribers by this time next year, I could justify being a stay at home dad who does nothing but writes and podcasts for you? A long time dream of mine! Help me make it come true if you have the extra coin and my work brings value to your life!Don’t like recurring payments but still wanna support? I take one time donations, PBS style, of any amount big or small on PayPal at [email protected] on Venmo @ButterCreamCoreyQR codes for both are below! Thank you for your support! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

We are nearing the end of season 3 of House Of The Dragon and the writers and co have laid the groundwork for a potential banger of a finale!Watch (or listen) as Lady Kirby and Professor CHO lay out what went down in the next to last episode!Y’all, did you know that while you can always listen /watch what I do for free, if I could double my paid subscribers by this time next year, I could justify being a stay at home dad who does nothing but writes and podcasts for you? A long time dream of mine! Help me make it come true if you have the extra coin and my work brings value to your life! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

Hey guys! Some real deep philosophizing for you today! I ranted for 30 minutes about clothes and I have no regrets! I hope y’all have a lovely Friday. Y’all, did you know that while you can always listen /watch what I do for free, if I could double my paid subscribers by this time next year, I could justify being a stay at home dad who does nothing but writes and podcasts for you? A long time dream of mine! Help me make it come true if you have the extra coin and my work brings value to your life!. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

Hey, y’all! New silly idea I had to help keep me on track in my quest to read more good stuff! Today I’m reading a poem from one of Ireland’s (and the world’s) greatest poets. I hope you enjoy, and have a great day doing whatever you’re doing!More laterCorey This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

Hey folks! I don’t know if i’m technically allowed to do this on account of we are on a podcasting network BUT I got done editing early for a change, and f**k it, I do most of the work around here so here it is 😂This week me and Trae (Drew is fine, he just doesnt have any power.. like.. electricity) talk about a wide range of topics, including but not limited to those mentioned in the extremely lengthy title!Hope you all enjoy, and look out for a new diary tomorrow and much more this week here on the ole Substack! See y’all in the chat!More laterCorey Y’all, did you know that while you can always listen /watch what I do for free, if I could double my paid subscribers by this time next year, I could justify being a stay at home dad who does nothing but writes and podcasts for you? A long time dream of mine! Help me make it come true if you have the extra coin and my work brings value to your life! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

Today I talk about a really good new meal my wife and I made last night, Nathan Evan Fox’s new record that I’m really enjoying, growing up having the idea that you must be tortured to be an artist beaten into my brain, my recent bouts with depression, how the internet makes it worse, and how the world sucks. How are y’all doing? Love ya! More later Corey Y’all, did you know that while you can always listen /watch what I do for free, if I could double my paid subscribers by this time next year, I could justify being a stay at home dad who does nothing but writes and podcasts for you? A long time dream of mine! Help me make it come true if you have the extra coin and my work brings value to your life! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

Happy Saturday night, Substackers of Corey Ryan Forrester’s Substack! (bit long, who cares!) How are ya? This week’s episode of Little House Of The Dragon is actually coming to ya on time, how bout that! And oh what a banger of an episode it was! The HBO one with Dragons in it that is, though Lady Kirby and I sure did have a blast talking about it!We sure hope you enjoy our recap as much as you enjoyed the episode, and hope you are loving this season so far! let us know in the comments if you have any theories or takes and what not, we’d love to share them on air! or of course you can always email us at [email protected], and at the request of Lady Kirby, if you have a Tik Tok, please follow her at kirbyaskew523Love y’all! More laterY’all, did you know that while you can always listen /watch what I do for free, if I could double my paid subscribers by this time next year, I could justify being a stay at home dad who does nothing but writes and podcasts for you? A long time dream of mine! Help me make it come true if you have the extra coin and my work brings value to your life!Don’t like recurring payments but still wanna support? I take one time donations, PBS style, of any amount big or small on PayPal at [email protected] on Venmo @ButterCreamCoreyQR codes for both are below! Thank you for your support! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

Hey all! Many of you have read this, but I don’t think I did an audio or video version! (Voice just coming back full and strong!)I hope you enjoy it. More later Corey Y’all did you know that while you can always listen /watch what I do for free, if I could double my paid subscribers by this time next year, I could justify being a stay at home dad who does nothing but writes and podcasts for you! A long time dream of mine! Help me make it come true if you have the extra coin and my work brings value to your life!Don’t like recurring payments but still wanna support? I take one time donations, PBS style, of any amount big or small on PayPal at [email protected] on Venmo @ButterCreamCoreyQR codes for both are below! Thank you for your support! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

Hey all! We had technical difficulties (and by technical difficulties I mean problems with our children 😂) last week, so this week we are giving you a MEGASODE of Little House of The Dragon! We start out with an apology to you all for failing you, which turned into a fun little 20 min segment. Then after that you get to hear (key word there is “hear” as we did not record video) the Instant Reaction we recorded for episode 4 but had to cut short due to our sweet Laura James’ eyes hurting her😭After that, we do our normal deepdive of episode 4 which is followed immediately by episode 5!Because I upload the same video here as I do on Youtube, at the very end is a promo for my Substack… me reading Chapter 3 of Here We Rest… most of you have already heard it, but if you havent, hey hey! two birds, one stone!Lady Kirby and I had a BLAST hanging out all day and podcasting and it shows cause we get in the weeds quite a bit lol (in a way that will entertain you, I have no doubt!)Details for the episode are below… love y’all and have a great rest of your weekend!Y’all did you know that while you can always listen /watch what I do for free, if I could double my paid subscribers by this time next year, I could justify being a stay at home dad who does nothing but writes and podcasts for you! A long time dream of mine! Help me make it come true if you have the extra coin and my work brings value to your life!Don’t like recurring payments but still wanna support? I take one time donations, PBS style, of any amount big or small on PayPal at [email protected] on Venmo @ButterCreamCoreyQR codes for both are below! Thank you for your support!Episode Breakdown From Our Podcast Friends at Riverside!:Key Topics:Detailed breakdown of episode four, “Tumbleton,” including major story developments and character interactionsExploration of Westerosi constitutional concepts, notably the “Westerosi Constitution” and its implications on monarchy and governanceDamon and Rhaenyra’s daring plans, including the secret attack on the gold cloaks and the chaos in King’s LandingThe political machinations of Ormond Hightower and his manipulations within the realmHelena’s prophetic dreams and her influence over the plotHumorous interjections on celebrity sightings in New York, Hollywood, and fictional Disney universe scenarios (e.g., Mickey Mouse Labor Strike)Behind-the-scenes commentary on filming, acting, and challenges of note-taking and podcasting logisticsTimestamps:(00:00) Episode intro and episode title - “Unbowed and Unbent”(02:14) Recap of the episode’s opening scenes, including Kristen Cole leading the greens(08:19) Damon’s confrontation with the gold cloaks and the painted message “A feast for traitors”(12:55) Queen Rhaenyra’s political strategy and her interactions with Alison(22:24) Damon’s chaos in King’s Landing, including the slaughter of gold cloaks(25:34) Helena’s prophetic dreams and her influence on Amon(33:21) We discuss the “Westerosi Constitution,” its rules, and its significance(44:46) The brewing conflict between the Green and Black factions, including Ormond’s ruthless decisions(55:09) The journey of Tumbleton, passing through Westeros’ travel logic(65:55) Character dynamics, especially Ormond’s rising as a villain(73:23) The humorous and creative deep dives into fictional Disney dystopias and celebrity sightingsResources:House of the Dragon Official HBO SiteGeorge R. R. Martin on Westerosi GovernanceFandom’s Westerosi Constitution Details (Fandom.com or The App) This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

Hey, y’all! My Voice still isnt where i’d like it to be, but this is LONG overdue, so enjoy!Speaking of long over due, im putting the finishing touches on part 4…. weve just been real busy with all our other jobs and children unfortunatley cause lord this story has stuck in my head!for a reminder, here’s the print version!The phone went dead, and the silence almost blew my eardrums out. I’m tripping. I have to be. I’ve always heard that acid flashbacks were a real thing, and if that’s true, I’m long overdue. Time has always fascinated me. I’m not an educated man, but I know everything there is to know about Einstein’s theory of relativity. Well, maybe not everything, but certainly more than most people who learned about it while geeked out, thumbing through old textbooks from the thrift store. Relative to them, I’m a genius.When I’m low on money, I go to the thrift store or the used bookstore. It’s the only place nowadays where a man can walk in with $20 and feel like he’s the king of somewhere. Somewhere shitty, but somewhere nonetheless. You can get a copy of everything Marcus Aurelius ever said and a Harvard textbook on physics, two for a dollar. You don’t even have to like anything but a good deal to make that purchase. And considering most folks who shop at Chickaluki’s book store and their cultural appetites, I don’t live in fear of anything I like ever being sold out.Normal human logic states that we experience time linearly. It doesn’t go backwards, and it doesn’t go side to side. As country musician Tracy Lawrence said, “Time Marches On.” I might be talking out of my ass, so don’t fact-check me, but time is relative to speed. I think that means in some galaxies, theoretically, you could spend a month on one planet and it would be like 55 years back at home. You wouldn’t have aged a day, but that puppy you bought the day before you flew out, unfortunately, will not greet you when you arrive home.This is also how time moves when you are overcome with the sudden feeling that shape-shifting aliens live among us and one of them is your former father-in-law. Time was both standing still and rushing forwards and backwards at speeds I couldn’t comprehend. I was standing up but could not feel my legs. I was holding a phone but could not feel my arm. My mouth was open, but it had nothing to say, which really pissed my brain off because there was so much it wanted to.Found out quick that you do not need the fear of death for your entire life to flash before your eyes. I saw it all. My first T-ball game. The Challenger exploding. My little brother hiding behind the water heater, covered in my mother’s blood from the time my dad lost a bet and split her forehead open with his class ring. I saw Sheila walking down the aisle wearing that strapless white dress and looking like she was so proud to know me, perhaps the last time she ever gave me that look. I saw her daddy’s pontoon boat on the first day he took me fishing. I tried jerking what was most likely an old, used tire that somebody had thrown in the lake so hard, reeling it in, that the lure snapped loose and slingshotted toward us like David to our Goliath. It got hooked in Sheriff Stevens’ hand. Blood was everywhere, but he just laughed because he was a tough man, and because he loved his daughter and his daughter loved me. He still has that scar, but it’s no longer something I smile about.I’m going crazy is what it is! Every single man in my family, even on back before the Civil War, ended up as a crazy, tin-foil-hat-wearing son of a b***h, and now my time has come. I’m not a flat-earther or anything like my Uncle Gordon, but I was hip to all that mass government surveillance way before the f****n Patriot Act. And we’re talking way before 9/11. During this time we didn’t have internet. Well, regular folks didn’t at least. I’m sure the high rollers like Billy Ray Cyrus and Phil Donahue had them some Internet. I bet Morton Downey Jr. was one of the first people to send a racist email. The closest thing we had to anything that connected us all on the go was Randall Daughtery’s Motorola Bag Phone that I had just used to have the strangest conversation on Earth.As far as conspiracy theories go, I certainly don’t believe in them all, hell, I’d say I don’t believe in most. But any conspiracy where you can follow the money in a straight line to a potential motive, I’ll at least entertain. Chemtrails don’t make sense to me. The flat-earth s**t is so f****n’ stupid, I’m forced to assume that the people who believe in it are all just performance artists pulling our leg. If the Earth truly were flat, why would it behoove the government to hide that fact? You have to follow the money for something to make sense, but who’s the one standing to lose money if the Earth is flat, Big Globe? I’m pretty sure people in the globe business have their portfolios quite diversified.Sorry if I seem like I’m sidetracking, but that’s what it’s like in my fucked-up brain. I’m shocked I’ve stayed on topic this long in the story. It’s a lot to try and make sense of, and I’ve always been someone who gets to Scotland by way of China.Randall must’ve thought me crazy just standing there all slack-jawed staring into space, but processing this was like doing a goddamn decathlon in my head. I desperately wanted not to believe my first instinct. I was running through every possibility at light speed. I mean, hell, Doppelgängers are a thing. S**t, I get mistaken for people all the time. Usually someone’s dipshit cousin or their brother-in-law that ain’t worth a damn. I’ve got resting piece-of-s**t-face. I reckon. I’ve always figured there are only so many shapes of heads and ears and whatnot that the good Lord made. You’ve got your A-models on down to a Z or so. Everything in neat little slide-out boxes in whatever celestial warehouse they use to manufacture us. Every now and again, two people who ain’t even related are fitted with enough similar parts from the stock and, as can be expected, they favor one another. Simple as.All that is true, yet against all logic, I just knew that wasn’t the case here. That was Sheriff Stevens, dead and stinkin’, in that water, and I’d wager my life on it. Not that my life would be worth anything to a soul bookie, if such exists.Randall called my name once more. I looked up at him and made eye contact to show that, however reluctant I may be, I was ready to talk. “Something on your mind, Sonny Boy?” he said. I blinked for the first time in a few minutes because my eyes were dry from staring at the sun like a 3rd grader. “Nope. Not a thing,” I replied. “I’m going to The Meat and 3, you want anything?”Randall looked confused and he had every reason to be. Though Big Jeff’s Pork & Puddin’ (The restaurant is simply named The Pork and Puddin’ but everyone adds the ‘Big Jeff’s’ cause it’s more fun to say and because, surprisingly, Big Jeff owns it) had been my favorite restaurant for years, it was also where Sheila worked. She’d worked there since she was 16, and even now that she’s a teacher she still works a few night shifts a week and the entirety of summer break, which we were in at the time. It’s where I fell in love with her. It’s where I tried Rhubarb pie despite thinking I’d hate it. Because the way she said ‘Rhubarb’ was poetry. It’s where I’d eat every day for lunch even when I didn’t really have ‘goin out’ money. Cause even if I could only afford a grilled cheese and a sweet tea, I at least knew I could catch a glimpse of her. Much like that old lady with Christ, I could be satisfied just touching the hem of her garment. I finally knew I had a shot with her when she slipped a banana pudding in a bag to me. Free of charge. She told me to keep mum by placing her finger over lips more beautiful than anything Hollywood has ever put out. I have never loved anyone else since and I never will.So yes, it would be painful to go there since the separation, but I had to see. I had to see Sheriff Stevens and if Sheila said she was with him, that meant he was at The Pork and Puddin, and when cops are at The Pork and Puddin they usually don’t pay, so they don’t leave The Pork and Puddin’ unless there is an emergency, which Chickaluki hadn’t had in earnest in quite some time.“Sonny Boy, I don’t know what’s on your mind or what you are looking for here, but don’t go running into pain that you don’t have to. There’s plenty coming up from behind and gaining ground on you anyway.”I did something then that I hadn’t done in a long time. I hugged Randall. I hugged him and squeezed him in a way that I hoped said everything without saying anything. I had a very odd feeling that I might not get that opportunity again. Then I headed to the PnP.Sure enough, there sat Sheila and her dad. When he came in to eat, she went on break. She did not have to ask. It may have been Big Jeff’s Pork and Puddin’, but Sheila ran the show and everyone knew it. She could keep up with all her tables and whistle at the other girls like a field general to get them squared away without breaking concentration on her and Sheriff Steve’s conversation. She loved her daddy, and despite him being The Fuzz, so did I. In light of recent events, I’m not sure the feeling is mutual, but I also don’t think he hated me. He wasn’t really capable of such. No one in her family was. It sank in on me even further just how much I had fucked my perfect life up.I walked up to the table and while she kept a kind face on in public, I could tell that she was annoyed to see me after that call. Now I was embarrassed. It was clearly not Sheriff Steve in that water. My mind was playing tricks on me cause I ain’t fed it nothing but booze and drugs all week. That combined with the inevitable decline of my mental faculties by birthright, I had finally snapped and would soon be confined to a padded room, let out once a day to eat tapioca and watch Matlock. “F**k my life,” I thought. “You’ve really done it this time, Sonny Boy.”And then Sheriff Stevens stood up to greet me. He put out his hand for me to shake, and as mine trembled on its way up to meet his, I noticed….The fishing lure scar was gone.To be continuedMy work here will forever be free to all who need it that way. However, if you CAN afford 5 bucks a month, that’d be sweet! Matter of fact, If I double my paid subscriptions this year, my dream of staying home with my son full time will be feasible! Love y’all!Don’t like recurring payments but still wanna support? You can do that by making a 1 time PBS Style donation to my PayPal which is [email protected] or my Venmo, where I am ButterCreamCorey. QR Codes for Both are below! Take care of yourselves! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

Hey y’all! Here’s the written transcript of today’s rant!!Corey Forrester (00:00)What’s up gang? It is time for a rant. So today I woke up with the wrong brain. ⁓ And ⁓ I feel that most days, frankly, because my brain is ⁓ I would say my brain is incorrect in the sense that it is mostly given me grief. ⁓ It has fortunately also given me a career, thankfully. You know, I gotta give my brain props for that. ⁓ It works in ways that areCorey Forrester (00:30)⁓ detrimental to my health ⁓ in many ways. It has ⁓ it has caused me to make the wrong decision ⁓ in terms of you know things I’ve put in my body over the years, whether that be drugs ⁓ or cheeseburgers ⁓ or ⁓ genitals. ⁓ Okay, Jesus Christ. ⁓ That’s a little bit much. ⁓ but, you know, y’all all know that I’ve hadCorey Forrester (01:01)struggles with my brain. I have ⁓ you know, clinical depression and anxiety and all that. But my brain is also a neat little thing that’s creative and I love that about it. That’s my favorite part of my brain. ⁓ matter of fact, yesterday I was thinking about it. ⁓ We were driving home from ⁓ Branson, Missouri. Most of you know if you if you actually follow my Substack closely and you’re in the chat.Corey Forrester (01:28)Which by the way, if you’re not in the chat, I suggest you do. We have fun in there. ⁓ it’s sort of like I would say the chat is sort of like ⁓ how most people treat Instagram or something like that. You know, like my wife ⁓ and like my family, like my sister and stuff, ⁓ they’re like a lot more personal on Instagram. My Instagram, because I’m a show person. I’m aCorey Forrester (01:51)I’m a I’m a I’m a I’m in show business. My my s my Instagram is more for entertainment per purposes. ⁓ I put up funny things and and clips and promotional stuff. That you know, most normal people are just like, hey, here’s ⁓ us at the beach and the lake. I I’d save that for the chat. You know what I mean? ⁓ not that anybody really gives a s**t about my personal life, but I guess some people do. And I save that for the chat because I kinda think that’s more private stuff. ⁓ And ⁓Corey Forrester (02:21)I’m only really willing to show that side of me to people who are ⁓ who I consider actual fans, not just ⁓ lurkers ⁓ on Instagram who I don’t think have my best interests at heart. I feel like ⁓ a lot of people on Instagram who follow me are are just, you know, the a a lot of them follow me just to hate me. I don’t feel like there’s anybody on Substack that’s like that.Corey Forrester (02:50)Especially anybody that’s like, you know, active in the chat. Y’all are y’all are all my people. ⁓ you know, but if if you if you are active in the chat and you follow me on Substack, then you I’ve been on vacation in Branson, Missouri this week, and it was a fun time. We had a blast. It’s the one of the most fun vacations I’ve had in a long time. And I do I definitely think I’m gonna get in the weeds here, but I’ll I’ll I’ll eventually get to a point. Y’all know how these talks go. I definitely think that a hugeCorey Forrester (03:19)Portion of the reason that it was one of the best vacations of my life is that not only did I not drink a drop of alcohol, but my wife didn’t drink a drop of alcohol either. So there was just like ⁓ zero stress ⁓ at all in terms of like ⁓ nobody was ever hung over. So, like, because we were dealing with like 11 kids. Obviously, only one of them is ours, but you know, it we’re all family, soCorey Forrester (03:46)We’re gonna tend to everybody and we care about everybody. And when there’s 11 kids running around and they’re related to you, well, I mean, you know, not by f*****g blood, at least for me, but like you have a vested interest in keeping them safe, so you’re gonna be stressed. And it is ⁓ very much easier to do so when you’re not hung over. It makes everything a lot less stressful and it makes your anxiety.Corey Forrester (04:11)A lot better. And I’ve been trying to tell my wife that for years. Cause my wife, it took me a long time to convince her that she has anxiety. And which was very frustrating. ⁓ And sorry to put her on front street here, but like ⁓ it was very frustrating because like I I was trying to explain to her. I was like, I’m not talking s**t to you. I’m not saying this that you have anxiety as a pejorative. I’m not like I’m not using it as an insult. I’m trying to help you here.Corey Forrester (04:40)I’m telling you because I know, because I have it, you know, and I’ve told people this before. It’s the wildest thing ever. When you go to therapy and you ⁓ figure out all your s**t, it is like, it’s either like getting glasses for the first time and you can finally see, ⁓ or ⁓ maybe more so, it’s like having ⁓ a filter ⁓ removed.Corey Forrester (05:10)off of you and now you can actually see the world for what it is. And you can like I can diagnose people on the spot. Like obviously I’m not a professional. I can’t like get into the minutia it. But like you can just start spotting, ⁓ my God, this person needs therapy. Like you can just start spotting ⁓ issues and and you realize quickly like how much the world could benefit fromCorey Forrester (05:35)therapy or in a lot of extreme cases medication, like you just you just start noticing it. You know what I mean? Like you just really start noticing it because you’ve been through it. And I would explain to my wife like all the tendencies now that I’ve been through the other side that I can just pick up on. And I want and I point them out to her because ⁓ I want her to ⁓ feel better because I feel better. And like obviously I still haveCorey Forrester (06:02)My moments, but they’re so much fewer and and far between. So I tried for years to tell her and she would basically give me the like, what the f**k would you know about it? Which that always pissed me off because I’m like, listen, you can say a lot about me and like there’s plenty that I don’t know. But like, God damn it, when it comes to brains being fucked up, I’m a f*****g, you know, I’ve done four tours of duty, goddammit. I’m well versed in it. ⁓ And ⁓Corey Forrester (06:33)She finally believed me, you know, and got her some medication. And then, but the last thing, and I’ve been my my current ⁓ sober stint is like I think six weeks or something like that. And I and I’ve been trying to tell her, I was like, baby, listen, I and I’m telling you this, the next thing you gotta do to level up is you gotta quit boozing so much. I was like, all the antiCorey Forrester (07:01)anxiety medication in the world and all the breathing exercises in the world and all the little tips and tricks in the world. I was like, they’re great and they do help. But I was like, they can only do so much. You give up that booze, you’re leveling up, you know? And she finally listened to me ⁓ and ⁓ and we had a stress free week and it was a lot of fun. And we had a blast. ⁓ And ⁓ and but the reason I said I hate my brainCorey Forrester (07:30)Is because ⁓ I woke up with the wrong brain today. So I woke up with a writing brain today. ⁓ And but today is not a writing day. Today is a podcast day, unfortunately. Today is the well-read podcast day. And ⁓ so I’m not really gonna have a lot of time to write because we got to do the podcast, and then that rolls right into my wife goes to work at four.Corey Forrester (07:59)And I gotta pick my son up from my mom’s. ⁓ And and don’t get me wrong, I can get a little writing done while my son’s running around and playing, but not that real deep focus writing like I wanna do. I might can do some ⁓ some ⁓ light outlining work, which I don’t it’s not that I don’t like to do. It’s just that I’ve never found that it helps me that much. But the thing I’m gonna tell y’all the thing that I want to write about, and this will I will use this to to serve as sort of my outline.Corey Forrester (08:28)My like vomit draft because this is a thing that I saw while we were on vacation that just really stuck with me. So hopefully, ⁓ by just getting the ⁓ the inspiration and the bare bones out here, I will I will be able to then ⁓ listen back to this and put it into a story. Now, by the way, ⁓ Here We Rest part four will come first for sure. ⁓Corey Forrester (08:58)But as y’all know, I’m someone that I try to do a lot of things ⁓ at the same time. You know what I mean? ⁓ I like to stretch things out and I like to do what I’m currently inspired by. But here’s the thing that I saw. So we’re we were in Branson, Missouri, which you don’t you know, I ⁓ probably even and no matter where you live, if you live in the United States, you’ve probably heard of Branson, Missouri. It’s likeCorey Forrester (09:28)you know, the Gatlinburg of the Midwest, I guess. It’s a it’s a a lake town, and that lake is Table Rock Lake. ⁓ And as far as lakes go, it is a phu hooking banger. I mean it is unbelievable, dude. ⁓ this week in particular, I guess they’d gotten a s**t ton of rain. The lake was super clear. It was awesome. It was so beautiful. ⁓ little choppy.Corey Forrester (09:57)But that made it super fun. ⁓ Amber’s grandma’s got a place there. She got in like 94 for probably not that much money, you know. And ⁓ now it’s probably worth so much. There’s no telling. ⁓ but we’ve obviously got carte blanche there. I’m a very insanely lucky man. Let’s just put it that way. I’m an insanely lucky man. We’ve just got a place that we can go to on Table Rock Lake anytime we want. ⁓ I’m blessed. ⁓ soCorey Forrester (10:27)We were there ⁓ and ⁓ our place is right near this place called Gobbler Mountain, right? And so we’ve been on the lake all day f*****g around ⁓ and ⁓ Bane, who my lord y’all just I mean, I knew he loved the pool. ⁓ He can’t get enough of the pool this summer and he loves the bathtub too. Like he just loves water.Corey Forrester (10:51)But the lake is like a whole nother level. He would he just wouldn’t stay out of it. He was just I’ve got some videos that that maybe I’ll hopefully I’ll remember to post with this post ⁓ of just we had that damn ⁓ boat door open and he was jumping ⁓ off the boat, right? And like in mid-air, turning so that he would already be in the direction to hit the water and swim.Corey Forrester (11:20)to the ladder so that he could get back on the boat ⁓ and jump his ass off again. It was hilarious. Like literally jumping and like wily coyote, turning midair, f*****g jumping back on the boat, just having the time of his life. So he was starting to get the nods on the way back. And I’m thinking like, okay, he’s gonna take a nap. Now ⁓ I on vacation am the designated if it’s time for Maine to take a nap, ⁓ I’m the oneCorey Forrester (11:50)that ⁓ makes the sacrifice of leaving the party ⁓ and taking him to take a nap so Amber can keep hanging out and usually drinking with the family or whatever. Now again, she didn’t drink this week, but that’s still my role. And by the way, ⁓ I say sacrifice. That’s tongue in cheek. It’s not a sacrifice. I love it. ⁓ I always ⁓ like I’m always down to leave the group and go back up to whether it be ⁓ the ⁓Corey Forrester (12:20)Beach condo that we’ve rented or the lake house ⁓ and ⁓ lay the baby down, or in this case the toddler down, so that I can be the f**k out of the sun. Cause I hate being in, I mean, I love nature, don’t get me wrong, but after too long in the sun, ⁓ I’m ready to be inside. And I’m also ready to be by myself. That’s the most important part. My social battery gets drained pretty quick. ⁓ And frankly,Corey Forrester (12:48)I’d rather be alone by myself ⁓ watching The Terminator or The Prestige ⁓ or f*****g, you know, The Matrix or Lord of the Rings. And by the way, I’m mentioning things I’ve seen a million times for a reason. It’s because I also would like to halfway participate in a nap, ⁓ you know. ⁓ So I can’t put on something I haven’t seen. I can’t put on something I have to pay attention to becauseCorey Forrester (13:17)I want the option to fall asleep, but also there’s no guarantee that the the baby is going to immediately fall asleep. And I may have to sit there ⁓ and hear some unintelligible conversation first. You understand what I’m saying? You gotta have movies lined up for when you’re watching them with kids ⁓ that ⁓ can just play in the background that entertain you, ⁓ but you know the plot.Corey Forrester (13:47)So you don’t miss anything, right? And I’m always f*****g down for that. So I take Bane up ⁓ and he’s sort of dozing. We’re on the we’re on this vehicle that I have affectionately ⁓ referred to as the scooter pooter. It’s this little like ⁓ it’s not a gol you see it, your instinct would be to call it a golf cart because it’s about the same size. ⁓ and it’s got about the same horsepower, but likeCorey Forrester (14:17)There’s no place for ⁓ golf bags or anything. It’s just ⁓ I call it I I’ve been calling it the scooter poder. It’s a scooter poder and it’s it’s clearly from the 80s, ⁓ and it’s just a little vehicle that serves the same purpose as people use golf carts for in neighborhoods. It’s just a thing that’s not a car, but you can get around in it. You know what I mean? It’s a little vehicle for little neighborhoods, little lake towns.Corey Forrester (14:46)to where you can just put a cooler in it and get around, right? So we’ve driven that up. Bane still, he’s still, he’s still kind of not having it. ⁓ And ⁓ we he loves riding on that little thing. And he’s he’s sort of he’s sort of nodding off. And then we get in the we get in the ⁓ the house. He’s still not having it. I’m like, God damn it, man, I really want him to go to bed. And he kind of starts crying. And ⁓ my father in law Danny, who Bane affectionately refers to as granddannyCorey Forrester (15:15)comes in the house. Now for background on Danny, Danny, my father-in-law, was also my shop teacher in high school. He was one of my football coaches and he was my track coach. ⁓ I loved him then. I love him now. He is f*****g awesome. He is also one of those dudes who is only happy when he’s working. And like ⁓ not in a likeCorey Forrester (15:43)I mean, it’s wild because like he’s he’s certainly like, you know, a c a capitalist in the sense of like, you know, we gotta work for if we want things we gotta work for him. But he’s not a like ⁓ I don’t think he thinks you’re he don’t think you are useless if you don’t spend eighteen hours of the day working. He genuinely just likes it. Like he he’s just kind of I think he would tell you he’s lucky that like his hobby is fixing s**t. He likes building stuff, like he’s a carpenter, he’s aCorey Forrester (16:12)contractor. That stuff makes him happy. And it also just happens to make him money. Like he feels truly lucky because he loves fixing s**t. He would be d I when I say he would be doing it for free, he does. Cause when we’re at the lake, he be fixing people in the area’s stuff and he don’t charge them just because that’s what he likes to do. Like everybody knows when Danny’s in town, like they’ll wait. Like if if something in their air conditioner fucked up, they’ll just be like, Danny’ll be in town next week. They’ll say, hell, we’ll f*****gCorey Forrester (16:41)Wait till he gets here and he’ll fix it for him for free. He likes it. He enjoys it. He stays busy. You know what I mean? He’s that dude. He’s a man’s man. Drinks bush beer. F*****g likes Iowa football and Iowa basketball. That’s where they’re all from. Iowa, you know. And so he’s just a he’s just a real man. And he’s f*****g awesome. And I love him. I don’t know why he loves me, but he does. ⁓ And ⁓ what’s cool about Danny too is whenever we’re in Branson.Corey Forrester (17:09)Because like again, he’s from Iowa, but his family’s had some land in Branson for a while. So he knows the Branson history. ⁓ And he’s hunted up there and s**t. And so he knows some stuff about it. And he sees that Bane’s crying. And he knows that Bane does really well ⁓ on car rides and stuff. And he knows that sometimes Bane loves car rides. ⁓ And he knows that Bane sometimes falls asleep on car rides. So he’s like, hey, you want me to take y’all ⁓ on a ride?Corey Forrester (17:38)Up Gobbler’s Mountain. I bet Bane would like that. And I got something something I want to show you. Because another cool thing about Danny is, I mean, me and him could not be more different. You know, we could not be more different. ⁓ And I used to have a lot of like ⁓ anxiety about, you know, I’m marrying his daughter and he’s this man who like he can fix all this s**t. ⁓ And he’s he’s like, he’s a good woodworker and like.Corey Forrester (18:05)Like anytime something at my house needs fixing, he comes over and does it, you know? And I always feel like, God damn it, like that’s a man. And I bet he doesn’t think I’m a man, you know, and that that like embarrasses me or whatever. And it’s somehow low key got brought up one night, and he was basically his answer was he goes, Well, I mean, brother, I can’t write a f*****g book, and you can. Don’t you think it takes all kinds? And I was like, God damn, that’s such an awesome answer. You know what I mean? And he meant that s**t.Corey Forrester (18:35)You know what I mean? Like he truly he truly meant that s**t. And like, hell, I provide for his daughter. He don’t give a f**k how I do it. You know what I mean? And also I think it hits for him that I can’t do any of that stuff because he still feels ⁓ valued. Like he he likes it that he’s still the guy that that that comes and fixes stuff for his daughter and not me. ⁓ You know what I mean? But we get along really good. And another thing he really likes doing is like whenever he whenever he remembers something.Corey Forrester (19:03)From the past, or something cool comes up, he’s ⁓ man, this might make a good story for you. ⁓ And what’s funny is whenever someone says, like, this will make a good joke, I’m usually like, ⁓ God. But whenever someone says, I bet this will make a good story, I actually get really excited. It’s like kind of the opposite. And especially with Danny, he’s usually right because he knows that I am like really into old s**t and period pieces and stuff. And DannyCorey Forrester (19:32)usually shows me or tells me about some s**t that like ⁓ I did not know about or I hadn’t seen before. And so he’s like, let’s go up Gobbler’s Mountain. I gotta show you something that I bet you might want to write about. So he gets us ⁓ in the Polaris. And if you don’t know what a Polaris is, it’s like a f*****g dune buggy type situation meant to go off-roading in. Danny hunts a lot and s**t. And so it’s just this big assCorey Forrester (20:00)You know, like I say, a dune buggy type thing. It’s badass as f**k. And so it’s me and him up front and we got Bane in between us and we’re going up Gobbler’s Mountain, just boogity buggity boogity and and he’s like, There’s this house up here and you gotta check it out. It’s completely falling apart. And I’m thinking to myself, Okay, hell, I’ve seen a house falling apart before, you know what I mean?Corey Forrester (20:23)And so we’re going and we’re driving up there and there’s a lot of pretty scenery. I mean, we got the lake over here to our right. Gob it’s we’re on Gobbler’s Mountain. We got the lake to our right. We’re going up a corkscrew and the lake’s so goddamn pretty. You can see it through the trees. And I’m just sitting there and I’m waxing poetic to Danny. I’m like, man, I was like, I was like, hey man, I was like, this ridge over here. I was like, whose property is that? He’s like, I hell, I don’t know these people. He’s like, Why? I was like, I was just thinking, I was like, maybe I was like, can I can I likeCorey Forrester (20:53)Come and bring a chair and like sit there in the morning and write. He’s yeah, nobody up here cares. You know, he’s like, That’d be fine. Bring you some coffee up here and like pretend like I’m gonna wake my ass up in the morning after being up with f*****g 11 kids all night. And, anyways, we’re pulling up on the house, and sure as s**t, there’s this house, and just right down the middle of the house, it is completely caved in. I mean, from the road, you can just see the middle of this f*****g kitchen. You know, it’s just caved in.Corey Forrester (21:22)And I’m just sitting and I’m just like, God, it’s so f*****g sad, man. You know, and and what you gotta understand too is that like this property, y’all, there is no telling how much this s**t is worth. Because Table Rock Lake, this is, I mean, this, this is some sought out land. Like, I don’t know how much grandma Sandy paid for her place in 1994, but I mean, she could getCorey Forrester (21:52)F*****g five, six, seven times fur it now, you know. And like even this this place that’s ⁓ that’s that’s completely caved in, y you could get just for the damn land it’s sitting on, you could get something. But I’m still sitting here and I’m just like, God, how’d they let it get that way, man? And I’m like, I know everybody’s got their circumstances. And you know, far be it from me, who is like I’m not a rich man by any means.Corey Forrester (22:22)And frankly, I probably never will be just because well, I don’t know. Like I’m just not ⁓ I’ve got artistic drive, but I don’t whatever it whatever the thing is that that makes someone ⁓ I don’t know, the greedy is not the word, but like I I don’t know. I I I I don’t know. Like I have a lot of artistic drive, and if that artistic drive makes me rich, then I’ll be rich. But otherwise, who the f**k am I to say anything? But likeCorey Forrester (22:51)It was just it was just bumming me out thinking about it. And I was like, God, how long that pla how long that place has just sat there abandoned in order to become that way is crazy, you know? And I’m sitting there thinking about all that. And then Danny said to me, he goes, Yeah, they just moved the guy out last month. And I was like, What? ⁓ There’s a guy that’s justCorey Forrester (23:20)F*****g been living in there like that for a f*****g month. Or not for a month, but up until a month ago. And I promise you, that s**t did not just happen. It did not just fall in. And I confirmed that with Danny. He’s like, no. It’s been like that for a while. Like for a while, it’s been like that. And this dude has just been living in it. And his kids have been trying to get him to move out. And he’s just and guys, I’m talking about.Corey Forrester (23:49)⁓ All of the elements are in. Like when it’s raining, it’s just his kitchen is just getting filled with rain. When it’s lightning and s**t, he’s just getting lightning the pond and all that s**t. And he’s just staying. And guys, I’m telling you, he’s th this is a this it we’re talking at bare minimum, probably a couple million dollar home ⁓ just because of where it’s sitting, you know?Corey Forrester (24:20)And I know what you’re thinking. Well, he like ⁓ i sh that might be the case, but he ain’t got the money to fix it up. ⁓ Okay. Well, I mean, can’t you take a goddamn loan out against it to fix it up? Look, I don’t f*****g know how money works. All I’m saying is that’s f*****g or again, dude, f*****g you can sell the house and then ⁓ use that money to go live somewhere else that don’t have a f*****g hole in the roof, but that’s where my wheels got going.Corey Forrester (24:50)on writing something ‘cause I’m thinking that’s where she used to live with him and now she’s gone and he can’t sell it even if there is a hole in it. Because the hole in that house ain’t got nothing on the hole in his heart. You know what I’m saying? ⁓ That’s the sappy version. ⁓ OrCorey Forrester (25:20)There’s the version. There’s the more comedic version where the house deteriorates and it splits down the middle like that. And a woman and a man continue to live in it, but they live on opposite sides of the house. And they just sit there, have dinner each night in separate rooms, and just watch the rain fall in the middle of the house.Corey Forrester (25:49)I can’t figure which direction I’d like to go with it, but it is interesting. But like I said, today’s not a writing day. Today’s a podcast day. And now ⁓ I have talked to y’all during the 30 minutes allotted for my exercise, which has been my walk through the park. And god damn it, it’s hot as f**k out here. I’ll tell you what, it’s so hot.Corey Forrester (26:19)That if my house had a hole in it and my AC wasn’t able to keep working, shoe we I’d I’d about just have to take the big sleep. I’ll tell you that much right now. Everybody, I appreciate you being here on my substack at CoreyRotesFor You.com. You have no idea how much it means to me. And it means a lot to me that over the past like week, 20 of you decided to upgrade.Corey Forrester (26:49)To being a paid subscriber. That means the world to me because that means that you heard my, well, it wasn’t a cry for help. I mean, hell, I’ll be fine. ⁓ but it means that you heard me say that I crunched the numbers. And if by this time next year I doubled my paid subscribers, that I could basically justify writing every day on Substack.Corey Forrester (27:19)as my full-time job, that and podcasting. ⁓ and the thing is, like, I I know I just said like, I can’t, today’s not a writing day, it’s a podcast day. Here’s the thing. If I du like it today could be a podcasting and a writing day if I doubled my Substack paid subscribers, because it would mean that my wife wouldn’t be picking up a shift.Corey Forrester (27:49)at the ⁓ meeting three and so ⁓ after I’m done podcasting I wouldn’t have to go pick up my son from my mom’s because he would just be at home with my wife and I could just go straight to writing this story. Again, I’m not entitled to that by any means, but it would be cool and you would be the beneficiary of it because I would write more. I have a ⁓Corey Forrester (28:16)I might share it with y’all, but no, I’m not going to just because I want y’all to be surprised by stuff. ⁓ I spent an entire day the other day in Branson finally getting I’ve had all these ideas for short stories, but they literally were just in my head. And I was like, my God, that’s the most dangerous place for them to be, because you’ll forget. I finally just got them all down on paper and I was like, all right, that’s the goal right there. Cause I keep trying to come up with new ideas. And I was like, hey, f**k that. Take all the old ideas.Corey Forrester (28:46)And just flesh them out. And I’ve got some really great ideas for these ⁓ short stories to complete after Here We Rest that I don’t think these will be in like parts, I think these will be like ⁓ oneers or whatever. ⁓ but I really want to do them as a book. ⁓ but obviously, since you guys are here, your reward will be seeing them first. ⁓ so thank you for.Corey Forrester (29:13)Upgrading to a paid subscriber, but as you know, and as I’ll say every time for you new people, ⁓ it will always be available for free. Always. If you have a problem with that, I’m sorry. ⁓ but I just think that’s the way to do it. I want everybody to be able to enjoy it. ⁓ I d look, are are are there people who could afford the five dollars?Corey Forrester (29:41)Who are choosing not to? Sure, I’m sure there are. ⁓ but I would rather that happen ⁓ than there be people who ⁓ genuinely deserve to be entertained but can’t afford it, ⁓ and be denied ⁓ the ability to do so. Because when I write and I put something on the page and I’m excited about it, do you know who I want to see it?Corey Forrester (30:10)F*****g everyone. That’s who I want to see it. Everyone. ⁓ and I just have to believe in a society that will ⁓ choose to reward that if they have the means. You know what I’m saying? So if you have the means, it is basically less than a cup of coffee a month. ⁓ and also if you ⁓ do not like recurring payments, which for the recordCorey Forrester (30:39)I don’t either, ⁓ for the most part. But you can ⁓ also make a one time donation ⁓ PBS style to my PayPal, which is Buttercream Cory at gmail dot com, or my Venmo, which is at Buttercream Corey, literally any amount that you want. ⁓ One dollar, five dollars, ten dollars, ten thousand dollars, whatever you want, it doesn’t matter.Corey Forrester (31:09)Also, the QR codes for those ⁓ are below on this post and on every post that ⁓ I do. ⁓ and also if you’re going to be a paid subscriber, you’re gonna make that upgrade. You can do it ⁓ at the $5 a month. You can also do it at $50 a year, which saves you some money. ⁓ Or if you’re like, hey, I definitely have some extra coin.Corey Forrester (31:38)⁓ you can subscribe at the founding members level ⁓ and you’re giving more money. Again, you get the same stuff, but you’re like, hey, I’m rich, so I’m gonna subscribe as a founding member, and it’s like 250 bucks a year. So you’re spending more money, so you can look at it as I’m paying for those people who can’t afford it. ⁓ and again, only do this if my work brings value to your life and you can afford it.Corey Forrester (32:08)If neither of those things are true, that well, if if my work doesn’t bring value to your life, I’m s sure that you’re not listening at this point. But ⁓ if it does and you can afford it, please give me money. ⁓ If you can’t afford it, please continue listening for free. Either way, thank you for being in my life and making it what it is, because it is ⁓ genuinely, I think, the best life a man could ask for. And the only way that it could possibly get better is if this time next year.Corey Forrester (32:38)I have doubled or maybe even tripled my paid subscribership. ⁓ And ⁓ I wake up every day and write for Substack and do podcasts and then I go to bed and kiss my son. And then ⁓ yeah. Yeah that’s what I want my life to be. And I work hard, damn it, to achieve it. I’ve got a lot of stories to tell.Corey Forrester (33:07)And I don’t want to die before I get to tell all. All right. I love ya. See you later Y’all did you know that while you can always listen /watch what I do for free, if I could double my paid subscribers by this time next year, I could justify being a stay at home dad who does nothing but writes and podcasts for you! A long time dream of mine! Help me make it come true if you have the extra coin and my work brings value to your life!Don’t like recurring payments but still wanna support? I take one time donations, PBS style, of any amount big or small on PayPal at [email protected] on Venmo @ButterCreamCoreyQR codes for both are below! Thank you for your support!I This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

Hey gang! I can’t be quite positive, but being on vacation with my family, I’m never quite sure what I’ll be able to get done. So I thought I’d throw up this week’s POA way early and ad free for you guys so you’re definitely getting something for your moneys worth! And not for nothing, despite it starting out as a sad topic, this was one of the most fun episodes we’ve done in a while, and I have fun doing them all!Y’all did you know that while you can always listen /watch what I do for free, if I could double my paid subscribers by this time next year, I could justify being a stay at home dad who does nothing but writes and podcasts for you! A long time dream of mine! Help me make it come true if you have the extra coin and my work brings value to your life!Don’t like recurring payments but still wanna support? I take one time donations, PBS style, of any amount big or small on PayPal at [email protected] on Venmo @ButterCreamCoreyQR codes for both are below! Thank you for your support! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

Lord Corey and Lady Kirby discuss the latest installment in the Game of Thrones Universe and things sure are getting tense in Westeros!Listen to regular episodes of Puttin On Airs wherever you get your podcasts and at WatchPOA.com This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

Guys it is almost impossible to express how much I love you all, but I did my best in this half hour rant!Waking up every day and knowing I have an audience that is willing to read my insane writing is one of the greatest joys A man can experience.The only frustration there has been is that I don’t have ENOUGH TIME to write as much as I want for you…This substack will ALWAYS be free to those who cannot afford another subscription. I know how tough it is out there, and I don’t wanna make it any tougher. The “pay if you want to and can afford it!” Model is something I am very proud of. As many of you know, I crunched the numbers the other day and realized that if I could double my paid subscribers within a calendar year, then I would have essentially fulfilled my dream of being financially stable just on writing and podcasts. I will never stop doing stand-up comedy and I will never stop loving it, but because I have a son that I love more than anything in the world. I selfishly want to be at home a lot more than I used to be.A ton of people heard me say that and said “well let’s make that happen!” And overnight I shot up to NUMBER 2 on substack’s Comedy charts!We aren’t all the way there yet, but my God, what a reassuring feeling it is that you all believe in me and want me to succeed. If I haven’t convinced you enough yet of how much I love you, just watch this video and hopefully you will understand! I love you More later Corey If you can afford it, become a paid subscriber to keep this free for those who can’t! If you can REALLY afford it, become a founding member and pay more! If you do so, I might even strip! 😂 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

For the first time this season, Lady Kirby and Lord Corey’s schedules aligned so that they could actually watch this week’s episode together! Which means you get the first of hopefully many INSTANT REACTION eps this season! Show notes below brought to you by our friends at Riverside!Topics Discussed: * The episode’s superiority over previous seasons and its evolving twists* Renera’s political and emotional struggles as a new ruler* Her strategies and missteps with key characters like Corlys, Joffrey, and the Sea Snake* The theme of out-of-touch leadership exemplified by Renera compared to historical political figures* The use of subtle political maneuvers, like the gangster move of seizing resources* Character dynamics, especially Renera’s rising doubts and potential betrayal risks* Behind-the-scenes details about production, continuity, and the significance of visual storytelling* Personal reflections on the political themes presented in a fictional contextLike my work? Consider becoming a PAID subscriber! I’ll always let you read my stuff for free as I don’t like Paywalls, but if it adds value to your life then hey, I’ll take it!Did the math the other day and of I double my paid memberships by this time next year, I can afford to just WRITE full time, which would make me happy and would mean you get more stories! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

Join us as we unpack the explosive events of House of the Dragon Season 3, Episode 2, exploring the aftermath of the battle, Renera’s brutal ascension, and the brewing conflicts warning of a tumultuous season ahead. Episode Summary Provided by our friends at Riverside!In this episode:* The emotional and cinematic return of Jace’s body from the ocean, with reflections on funeral customs and death rituals* Renera’s raw grief display and her harrowing act of beheading her grandfather, Otto Hightower* Damon’s chaotic party with a mix of humor, violence, and political alliances* The chaos in King’s Landing, including Alicent’s encounter with her father’s head (lol)* Dramatic scenes of Eamon’s fiery vengeance and the clever interference of Alice Rivers* The political scheming, the fate of the Stepstones, and dragon logistics* The power dynamics shifting with Renera’s coronation and Damon’s declaration as her regent* Predictions on Strongfoot’s potential dark turn and Aegon’s army ambitions* The ominous move of the Sea Snake and the future of the Targaryen claim* A semi related tangent about realistic expectations of nudity and the infamous Willem Dafoe ding dong storyTimestamps: 00:00 - Ocean burial and funeral traditions in Westeros02:34 - Renera’s grief and her shocking act of execution04:17 - Damon’s wild celebration and political rallying07:49 - King’s Landing: Shedding blood and claiming the throne09:46 - The emotional impact of Otto’s death and Renera’s heavy burden11:21 - The search for Snake Daddy and the Stepstones’ mysterious fall12:48 - Sheep Stealer and the clandestine dealings in the Vale13:44 - Eamon’s brutal conquest and Alice Rivers’ mysterious powers16:50 - The dragons’ journey to King’s Landing and the political chaos18:37 - Spoofs, humor, and a detour into Willem Dafoe’s, uh, anatomy19:49 - Banter on nose-picking, nudity in TV, and levity from the chaosResources & Links:* House of the Dragon on HBO* Game of Thrones Official Website* Willem Dafoe Full Frontal StoryYALLLLLLL! You made me NUMBER SIX on Substack’s humor list! I genuinely can not thank you enough! Preciate all of you who upgraded to a paid membership! Ran the numbers earlier and if I can double my paid subscribers within a calendar year, I could theoretically write on Substack full time which would be a dream come true for me, and would mean more stories for YOU! Lets make it happen! (That said, this site will ALWAYS be available for free to those who cant afford it. I’d rather it take me a little longer to reach my goal but make evryone happy along the way and provide free entertainment in these b******t times)Love y’allMore Later!CoreyP.S. here’s a transcript of the podcast for anyone who is deaf (and also hell who knows it may help with SEO, whatever the hell that means lol)music](00:00:24.228):Okay, we are here.(00:00:25.549):It is Season 3,(00:00:27.290):Episode 2 of Little House of the Dragon,(00:00:31.132):the House of the Dragon rewatch podcast here on the Putting On Airs Network,(00:00:35.794):the Airstream Network, whatever it is.(00:00:39.236):You want to call it.(00:00:40.497):I am one of your hosts,(00:00:41.818):Lord Corey Ryan Forrester, and I am joined, as always, by my co-host... Lady Kirby.(00:00:48.161):Lady Kirby.(00:00:50.182):She’s stuck.(00:00:50.903):They...(00:00:52.031):Sorry, sorry, everybody.(00:00:53.092):Laura James is stuck.(00:00:54.053):She’s wearing her—what princess robe is this?(00:00:56.656):Tiana, but she says Tanana.(00:00:58.999):Tanana, okay.(00:00:59.960):And if you didn’t watch the first episode, obviously go back and listen.(00:01:03.563):We have Laura James with us.(00:01:05.405):That is my niece, and this is where she lives, and it just also happens to be our studio.(00:01:09.630):Yep, school’s out for summer.(00:01:11.010):School’s Out For The Summer!(00:01:12.190):You will be seeing her run around but by the way all the comments were(00:01:15.570):so sweet everybody loved Laura James(00:01:17.470):So we are now on season three episode two and here is the google synopsis okay(00:01:28.333):Thank you, thank you, Laura James.(00:01:29.675):Appreciate the dancing.(00:01:31.698):The episode picks up immediately after the devastating Battle of the Gullet.(00:01:36.004):Bela Targaryen returns to Dragonstone, bearing the body of Jocerys Valyrian.(00:01:41.152):Rhaenyra is initially incapacitated.(00:01:45.178):Daemon returns from the Riverlands and comforts his grieving queen.(00:01:48.903):He reveals that his visions at Harrenhal convinced him of Aegon(00:01:52.308):the Conqueror’s prophecy,(00:01:53.951):the Song of Ice and Fire, which requires a united realm under a strong target.(00:01:58.277):Alicent Hightower follows through on her backroom pack with Rhaenyra.(00:02:06.088):Realizing Aemon has departed the capital,(00:02:08.772):she secures a deal with Sir Luthor Largent, commander of the City Watch.(00:02:13.479):or the gold cloaks.(00:02:16.043):Rhaenyra and Daemon arrive in King’s Landing on Dragonback while most castle guards yield.(00:02:21.511):A remaining pocket of green loyalists briefly corner the duo in the throne room.(00:02:25.938):However, Ser Luthor and the gold cloaks(00:02:29.042):Rhaenyra finally takes her seat upon the Iron Throne, but it is a dark, heavy moment.(00:02:36.553):Larris Strong, aka Strongfoot, his secret political prisoner, Otto Hightower, is dragged(00:02:43.260):from the black cells in a highly emotional state ryan forrester personally beheads her former(00:02:48.400):grandfather-in-law as she did i mention that this is uh not a spoiler free episode(00:02:53.580):so if you’ve never seen these episodes please go watch them first yeah this(00:02:57.120):This is a rewatch!(00:02:59.146):Rhaenyra personally beheads her former grandfather-in-law as she ascends the steps(00:03:05.750):of the throne.(00:03:06.630):Her boots leave a literal trail of blood on the floor.(00:03:09.672):Daemon swiftly executes Lord Jasper Wilde alongside him.(00:03:14.348):Just as Rhaenyra sits on the throne,(00:03:16.149):guards drag in Alicent and Helena Targaryen,(00:03:19.111):who were intercepted, trying to flee the capital.(00:03:22.032):Alicent looks on in horror at her father’s headless body,(00:03:25.434):while Rhaenyra stares back from the throne as the episode cuts to black.(00:03:31.737):Pause.(00:03:33.838):I have to get my water.(00:03:35.139):Yes.(00:03:35.519):All right, now you take over.(00:03:36.860):Okay.(00:03:37.300):All right, hold on.(00:03:38.621):Let me see if we’re recording.(00:03:41.382):All right.(00:03:43.424):All right,(00:03:43.844):we start out the episode with a view under the ocean,(00:03:48.048):looking up at Jace dead, floating, and then you see, like, a dragon going over, too.(00:03:56.415):Very cinematic.(00:03:57.216):Yes.(00:03:57.636):Very beautiful view.(00:03:58.457):And then it cuts to, like,(00:04:00.839):the sounds off,(00:04:02.200):and it’s just,(00:04:02.740):like, all this stuff happening, and there’s dragons just Dracarys... Dracarysing.(00:04:08.785):Dracarysing.(00:04:09.926):Dracarysi, whatever, the plurals.(00:04:14.250):And, you know,(00:04:15.270):they’re able,(00:04:16.031):obviously, offscreen, they retrieve the body, and they bring it back to Dragonstone.(00:04:22.412):And, you know,(00:04:23.152):they’re all, like,(00:04:24.473):hold—they get them off the dragon or whatever,(00:04:26.953):and they’re all, like, almost like a, like, pallbearers.(00:04:30.474):Exactly, yeah, yeah, yeah.(00:04:32.535):And so they carry them into,(00:04:34.556):like, the main, you know, like, the study or whatever you want to call it.(00:04:38.457):Yeah, the viewing room for the body.(00:04:40.637):Yes, and— Isn’t it wild that we used to do that?(00:04:45.130):Like I know that like I’m just saying like used to when someone died like(00:04:50.258):at our house remember we were told like the first guy who died(00:04:53.603):in it they just put him in the living room and had which by(00:04:57.769):the way I think that’s why it’s called the living room.(00:05:00.252):There was like something about why it’s called the living room because they had(00:05:04.073):a room that they would just put dead people in.(00:05:06.814):And it’s why it’s called the parlor and why funeral parlor ended up being called(00:05:11.035):the funeral parlor.(00:05:12.216):You would just have a dead stinking person in your house for a while(00:05:15.917):so people could come visit it.(00:05:18.018):Yeah.(00:05:19.918):Yeah.(00:05:20.538):Crazy.(00:05:21.519):Well, they were able to retrieve, you know, his body.(00:05:26.320):They take it into the view, you know,(00:05:29.237):living room whatever and renera comes out and she’s(00:05:32.519):in total just denial she experiences all seven forms of grief at once and it was(00:05:39.922):an acting master class i mean she this is the second time(00:05:45.105):that she’s had well i mean it’s her third child loss one was stillborn(00:05:49.927):but you know her two sons with harwin strong or whatever now they’re both gone(00:05:56.990):and she literally(00:05:59.682):displays her grief in the most realistic way.(00:06:05.007):I mean, I hope to God I never lose a child, but like she’s having like a physical pain reaction.(00:06:11.240):Yeah, it was very visible.(00:06:13.102):I mean, also, it’s like, what are the seven stages of the group?(00:06:16.765):The first is, like, denial.(00:06:18.607):And she immediately comes in and starts talking to him as if he’s going to respond to her.(00:06:24.512):And then she just completely disassociates.(00:06:27.174):Like, they are a tremendous actor, but, like, they had to have, like,(00:06:34.560):Study with a grief counselor or something(00:06:36.621):because it was like it like you said it was so real yeah like god forbid(00:06:41.163):that ever happens to me but like I have unfortunately seen people(00:06:47.026):when they first got the news of something traumatic and like(00:06:50.948):that that’s it yeah yeah well yeah she looks like she’s an actual physical pain and(00:06:59.401):You know,(00:06:59.721):she has her whole moment,(00:07:02.042):and she says,(00:07:03.523):and I want to know,(00:07:04.903):it cuts to, like,(00:07:06.444):you know,(00:07:06.784):the Stepstones and stuff,(00:07:08.104):where Alan,(00:07:10.205):the Sea Daddy’s,(00:07:11.566):you know,(00:07:11.906):b*****d son,(00:07:12.766):is out looking for the Sea Daddy because he’s nowhere to be found after,(00:07:17.308):you know, the whole, was it Battle of the Gullet and all that?(00:07:20.369):Yeah.(00:07:21.650):And...(00:07:23.232):I just want to know how they lost the stepsomes to begin with,(00:07:26.973):because, you know, season one, they, you know, defeated the crab feeder.(00:07:33.476):And it says off screen that basically they were fighting for like three years or more.(00:07:39.498):Right.(00:07:40.438):So you mean to tell me they killed the crab daddy?(00:07:43.699):Crab daddy!(00:07:45.462):They killed the crab daddy,(00:07:47.282):and then they didn’t, like,(00:07:48.823):send troops to, like,(00:07:50.403):reinforce their—like,(00:07:52.044):they literally just, like,(00:07:53.124):all right,(00:07:53.404):we killed them,(00:07:53.924):the stepstones are ours,(00:07:54.964):but then they just left,(00:07:56.245):and I mean, so naturally, the triarchy just reformed under another leader.(00:08:00.465):Yeah, right.(00:08:00.826):Like, when we,(00:08:01.706):you know,(00:08:02.086):take over another country,(00:08:03.446):like, we build a station there to make sure that everything’s okay.(00:08:07.067):Yeah, I mean, like, it’s like, if you—yeah, I mean—(00:08:12.352):But, so I don’t understand that, but I mean, I guess I’m just not...(00:08:17.478):I don’t know military stuff.(00:08:19.160):Me either.(00:08:19.580):We should probably read The Art of War for this podcast.(00:08:22.343):Probably.(00:08:23.425):So, Alan’s out there looking for Snake Daddy.(00:08:26.428):His real daddy.(00:08:28.691):And, um...(00:08:31.275):it shows you know dragons going around looking then it cuts to(00:08:36.678):the veil reina shows up you know reina was the one(00:08:41.620):that flew sheep stealer christian named kevin by the way i’ve decided i want you(00:08:47.623):to give me your interpretation i need us(00:08:49.985):to figure out how we think sheep stealer would talk if he could talk and i’m going(00:08:54.687):to do mine and then you can do yours(00:08:56.968):Hello, my name is Sheepstealer.(00:08:59.990):May I have your sheep?(00:09:03.131):No, that’s a little too posh of a—he would set—what’s the place in England that like(00:09:09.034):the accent— Oh, Cockney?(00:09:10.455):Yeah, he would have a Cockney.(00:09:12.016):I’m here to steal your sheep.(00:09:13.657):Yeah, that’s it.(00:09:15.077):Come on, bring me some of your sheep.(00:09:16.998):Yeah, that’s it, Mark.(00:09:18.199):Okay.(00:09:19.059):Okay, so she shows up looking for asylum, and Jane Longneck of the Vale—(00:09:26.628):long neck of the veil yeah i mean remember she’s got such a long neck such(00:09:30.231):a long neck and literally every time i see is it correct sees is(00:09:36.557):that damon’s long neck dragon i believe so yeah all right so she comes out(00:09:41.861):and rain is like i need asylum and(00:09:44.503):and old girl jane long neck is like nah fam like i’m not(00:09:50.668):I don’t mess with that.(00:09:51.428):I don’t mess with that.(00:09:52.268):And so Raina reminds her, like, hey,(00:09:54.769):I know you were disappointed with the queen because the queen had offered a dragon(00:10:00.251):and you felt like she wasn’t living up to, like, you know, hurry into the deal.(00:10:05.392):Like, if you’ll just let me just stay here with my dragon, my dragon can protect you.(00:10:11.254):And Jane’s like, all right, the veil’s big.(00:10:14.094):Basically, I’m going to pretend I never saw you.(00:10:16.670):Also, did you,(00:10:17.570):in the scene when Rhaenyra is grieving or whatever and she’s blaming everybody(00:10:22.732):in there for Jace’s death and that guard grabbed her or whatever,(00:10:28.234):when he knelt down and took his sword out,(00:10:30.435):did you think he was going to seppuku himself?(00:10:32.696):Yeah, I did.(00:10:33.596):And then she literally just said, like, it’s not going to solve anything.(00:10:37.517):Right.(00:10:38.217):Well, because, I mean...(00:10:41.243):He did wrong.(00:10:42.784):Of course.(00:10:44.725):The guards should have restrained Luke.(00:10:48.048):That just shows that deep down, deep down, people aren’t really bending the knee to her.(00:10:55.593):Right, exactly.(00:10:56.614):To me, that’s what it shows.(00:10:58.335):They love her,(00:10:59.656):they care for her,(00:11:00.557):but they will always see her as Princess Rhaenyra and not truly the queen.(00:11:05.640):And he did do wrong, but I do feel...(00:11:08.382):If this was not Jace,(00:11:10.105):if this was not her son,(00:11:12.067):it probably would have just been treated like, well, s**t happens.(00:11:15.232):I mean, mistakes do happen in the military.(00:11:17.916):But because it is her son, this is obviously this really huge deal, which(00:11:23.544):I think is like,(00:11:25.547):I don’t know,(00:11:25.968):you know,(00:11:26.208):we talked on several episodes about how, like,(00:11:28.972):the kings actually used to fight,(00:11:31.496):and also their kids used to fight, and that probably, I mean, that had(00:11:38.390):They had to be entering their mind when they made any type of decision and probably(00:11:42.730):for the better because like nowadays,(00:11:44.550):When someone sends troops to war it’s not their kids so they just treat them(00:11:49.130):as completely interchangeable pawns.(00:11:52.090):But back then like the risk was a lot more!(00:11:55.070):And now she has lost her son in this bid for the throne.(00:12:01.738):And, you know, the dragon and stuff.(00:12:03.560):We cut over to Daemon basically having a full-blown, like, Robin Hood and his merry men.(00:12:09.345):Yeah.(00:12:09.705):Robin Hood, men and ties.(00:12:10.886):Having a time.(00:12:11.787):Having a time.(00:12:12.647):I mean, it’s literally like a party.(00:12:15.810):I mean, they’re having this huge party.(00:12:17.071):They got one of the Lannister heads on a spike.(00:12:19.173):They got an actual lion head on a spike.(00:12:21.575):They’re drinking.(00:12:22.516):They’re partying.(00:12:24.357):Precious little Simon Strong shows up.(00:12:28.637):And there’s a character that he reminds me of on another show, and I’ll have to think about it.(00:12:35.041):But he shows up and is like, okay, I have some wine, you know, from Cow Strong.(00:12:41.666):And they’re like, oh, you know, hell yeah, whatever.(00:12:44.528):And he said, I also have a message for you.(00:12:49.120):And so, you know, they’re all there with the northern men.(00:12:52.222):Daemon reads the message.(00:12:54.143):They’re like, what’s going on?(00:12:55.583):And he says, the crown prince is dead.(00:12:58.005):And he tells them,(00:12:58.965):all right,(00:13:00.566):Rhaenyra says that I need to go to King’s Landing and claim the throne for her.(00:13:05.548):And he tells the northerners, like, hey, I need you to head south and meet me there.(00:13:12.112):And they’re all like, heck yeah, we’re heading to King’s Landing.(00:13:14.873):We’re going to do this thing.(00:13:19.457):Before they go, Damon’s talking to all Alice Rivers, you know, the witch.(00:13:24.201):Yeah, I get such a vibe from her that I don’t care for.(00:13:27.463):Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.(00:13:28.864):She’s very eerie.(00:13:31.886):Like a moaning Myrtle vibe for some reason.(00:13:34.748):Yeah, like there’s a dark spirit.(00:13:36.690):For sure.(00:13:37.230):Yeah.(00:13:38.710):She tells Damon that she wants hair and haul.(00:13:42.115):Like, hey, I want hair and haul.(00:13:44.719):Basically,(00:13:45.560):she said,(00:13:45.981):I’ve seen multiple people have hair and haul and not take care,(00:13:50.628):which makes me think, when she says multiple people, how old is she?(00:13:53.652):How old is she?(00:13:54.913):Is she like multi-generations old?(00:13:57.355):Is she like the red woman?(00:13:58.516):That’s honestly how I see it.(00:14:00.458):Basically, she’s like the red woman from Game of Thrones.(00:14:02.520):I’m kind of thinking that we’re going to get the reveal.(00:14:04.802):Because obviously, that’s not like the red woman isn’t a singular thing.(00:14:09.926):There’s a bigger plot.(00:14:12.889):Which I’m really excited about.(00:14:14.070):Yes.(00:14:14.891):And so Damon tells her like,(00:14:16.832):You know, you’re a woman and you’re not married to anyone, like, important.(00:14:20.518):You’re trash.(00:14:21.259):Like, they don’t just, like, and honestly, I don’t even think he was saying it with judgment.(00:14:26.446):No, no, that’s just, that is the truth.(00:14:28.148):Listen, like, you’re not going to,(00:14:30.183):You know, heck, the dragon seeds aren’t even getting a castle.(00:14:33.004):Yeah, I mean, regardless of if he was saying it with judgment, like he’s 100%.(00:14:37.246):It’s just the truth.(00:14:37.826):It’s just 100% the truth, yeah.(00:14:38.867):We will be right back after this word from our sponsor,(00:14:42.008):which is coreywritesforyou.com, everybody.(00:14:47.310):You heard Here We Rest.(00:14:49.794):I think I put it at the end of the last episode.(00:14:52.037):And man, I got so many positive comments.(00:14:55.703):It really made me happy.(00:14:58.126):I was so happy, in fact, that I turned around and finished my second draft of(00:15:02.172):Part 3, which I really, really, really, really love.(00:15:06.057):You will be the first to hear it if you subscribe to coreywritesforyou.com,(00:15:09.602):which is my substack, by the way.(00:15:11.926):Substack is a very cool platform for writers.(00:15:15.651):You can also get everything I do,(00:15:18.314):But if it brings value to your life, you can give me $5 a month.(00:15:22.497):And I would like to say this,(00:15:24.398):if I could double my paid subscribers within a calendar year,(00:15:29.962):Substack could pretty much be my full-time job,(00:15:32.984):which means as much as I’m already writing over there,(00:15:35.746):which is a lot, I will have time to write even more, which would make me very happy.(00:15:40.810):CoreyWritesForYou.com and we will be right back.(00:15:46.610):What you do?(00:15:47.350):You have a wedgie?(00:15:48.211):God.(00:15:48.671):All righty.(00:15:49.251):After that break, Bayless shows up at the gullet to look for a snake daddy.(00:15:56.555):Gullet’s such a redneck word, I feel.(00:15:59.976):And did you notice that, like, Alan looked at her and he looked pissed when he first saw her?(00:16:04.378):Yeah, he did.(00:16:04.778):And I don’t know if it was, like, a jealousy thing, like, his real family’s coming.(00:16:09.780):Well, no, yeah, I was going to ask that.(00:16:11.041):What was your interpretation of why that looked?(00:16:13.362):Literally just, like, a jealousy thing.(00:16:16.443):He’s insecure and jealous,(00:16:17.784):and he’s got to have his moment with his dad and be the hero,(00:16:22.128):and then it’s like his real family shows up, and he probably just feels inferior.(00:16:28.673):Right, because as the b*****d,(00:16:31.295):in order for him to get their appreciation or approval,(00:16:35.658):he’s got to do so much, whereas they just have to exist, because that is how it is.(00:16:42.964):Well, Bela and him...(00:16:47.677):Bela’s like, yeah,(00:16:49.359):you know, he’s gone down before and he’s been found and he’s strong and all that.(00:16:54.106):And she says something and makes Alan laugh, which he doesn’t laugh.(00:16:58.853):He’s never smiled.(00:16:59.690):He’s a very serious guy.(00:17:01.010):So, I’m assuming that they’re going to get married and have kids now.(00:17:03.690):Of course!(00:17:04.290):Yeah.(00:17:04.710):Because, I mean, they are aunt and uncle so it would only make sense if they got married.(00:17:09.330):Right.(00:17:09.350):So stay tuned.(00:17:10.210):I’m sure that’s happened.(00:17:11.110):Okay.(00:17:11.190):You heard it here first.(00:17:12.390):Kirby shipping Allen and Bay...(00:17:14.210):I’m not shipping.(00:17:15.530):I’m just believing it’s gonna happen.(00:17:16.850):What’s her name?(00:17:18.110):Bayla.(00:17:18.710):Bayla Dunman’s daughter.(00:17:20.190):Yeah.(00:17:20.550):Bayla and Allen.(00:17:21.090):Yeah.(00:17:21.390):I’m NOT like yay.(00:17:22.390):I’M JUST SAYING IT’S GONNA.(00:17:23.930):THERE’S NO WAY IT’S NOT.(00:17:29.236):For the record,(00:17:35.545):we know that b*****d is not the preferred nomenclature in real life,(00:17:40.212):but in this show we will be saying b*****d.(00:17:44.218):Like, they’re not using it as, like, a curse word.(00:17:47.079):It literally is, like, just a term.(00:17:49.179):Yeah, I mean, it was never meant to be a curse word.(00:17:51.480):Like, that’s just, you know, just like the R word.(00:17:54.001):It’s just that people would use the term to be mean to someone.(00:17:57.382):Negative, like, yeah, you’re a b*****d.(00:17:58.882):Yes.(00:18:00.002):So...(00:18:01.143):I think it’s a cool word.(00:18:02.203):Yeah, well, old dude, you know, he’s flying around on sea smoke to look for him.(00:18:10.617):And then we cut to strongfoot and fried egg is what I like to call him.(00:18:16.062):Yeah, he does look like a fried egg.(00:18:17.403):Yeah, and he’s egg on, so he’s fried egg.(00:18:19.926):They’re in the carriage and, you know, egg on.(00:18:22.928):Their scenes have been funny because to me it’s kind of like(00:18:27.152):It just shows, like, Aegon’s maturity and how they’re—you know what it reminds me of?(00:18:32.434):It kind of reminds me of Chris Farley and— David Spade.(00:18:36.636):Yes, like,(00:18:37.296):how they would have to—like,(00:18:39.237):how David Spade would have to, like, try—was the mature one.(00:18:43.219):Right, yeah, he was the straight man.(00:18:44.799):Yeah, literally, and, like,(00:18:45.960):Chris Farley was the prince of the kingdom because he,(00:18:48.841):you know, his dad had the tire place.(00:18:50.902):I think there’s also a little bit of a—(00:18:54.532):A change in their dynamic,(00:18:56.832):and I don’t know if this is on purpose or not,(00:18:59.273):but before his burn,(00:19:03.374):Strongfoot would never speak to Egon the way that he’s currently speaking to him,(00:19:08.615):and I feel like there’s a little bit of, like, you’re damaged too now.(00:19:14.556):He’s been Strongfoot with his club foot or whatever,(00:19:16.996):but now it’s like you’re a burn victim, so we both are(00:19:23.358):And therefore,(00:19:24.218):you know what it’s like to be me a little bit, and I’m gonna speak to you this way.(00:19:28.081):Maybe, but I also just think, too,(00:19:31.323):that I think that Strongfoot knows the only way to get to Egon is to talk(00:19:36.986):to him like he’s a child and you’re the adult.(00:19:39.148):Yeah, for sure.(00:19:39.848):You do have to.(00:19:40.729):That’s how the auto had to do with him.(00:19:43.971):And at present, he’s in no...(00:19:47.347):He’s in no position to, like, cut his head off.(00:19:49.831):Like, he needs strong foot right now.(00:19:52.416):Yeah.(00:19:52.816):I mean, literally,(00:19:53.958):when they get attacked by,(00:19:55.561):like, I think those are triarchy people that attacked them.(00:20:00.310):Egon attacks one of the guys and I mean he’s like yelping in pain(00:20:06.152):while he’s stabbing the guy like(00:20:07.492):because Egon is just straight up just he also seemed to enjoy stabbing(00:20:12.454):the guy he was yelping in pain but boy that looked like something he was super(00:20:16.355):into I was thinking during that scene you ever just have those thoughts(00:20:19.616):that enter your mind and you’re like I better not say that to anybody(00:20:23.097):but I always end up saying I’m like(00:20:26.098):Murder is bad,(00:20:27.299):obviously,(00:20:28.581):but think it, like,(00:20:29.922):if it was righteous, like,(00:20:31.223):you know, like,(00:20:32.184):if it was a true vengeance thing, like,(00:20:34.246):don’t you think, I mean,(00:20:35.327):afterwards,(00:20:35.808):I think you would have that, like,(00:20:36.989):post-nut clarity of, like, oh, my God, but, like,(00:20:39.691):I bet stabbing someone who has wronged you to death does feel pretty orgasmic in(00:20:45.717):the moment.(00:20:46.338):Oh, yeah, yeah.(00:20:47.519):Then, on strong foots, like, all right, we gotta have good— You got some indigestion there?(00:20:50.926):Well, I mean, I’ve been downing potato chips and french onion dips, so sorry about the burp.(00:20:55.888):My mic’s right under my mouth, too.(00:20:57.648):It’s okay.(00:21:00.029):So, Strongfoot’s like, all right, we gotta head out.(00:21:03.150):And Fried Egg’s like, nah, we’re gonna head to Rook’s Rest, because Cole has a garrison there.(00:21:09.352):Like, Strongfoot’s like, no, we need to go, I guess, to, was he saying Dragonstone?(00:21:13.813):Yeah.(00:21:13.953):But they need to go to Dragonstone, and, you know, Aegon’s like, nah.(00:21:18.294):Then, we see...(00:21:21.134):Sea snake on the beach you know he’s alive I mean he’s barely hanging on yeah(00:21:27.219):but he is alive yeah and it shows him on the beach with alan(00:21:33.525):and adam adam his brother adam’s the one that has sea smoke and bala and(00:21:40.050):so he ends up(00:21:40.951):telling alan like i can’t give you a castle and stuff because you know it’s(00:21:46.333):on fire he said but i can give you my name and alan’s like that means more to me(00:21:51.174):than anything and then i just thought okay what about adam in(00:21:54.095):the background like is it just off camera he says by the way adam you you’re not(00:21:58.616):a b*****d anymore either i mean just alan no i’m i mean i guess it’s just alan(00:22:03.698):otherwise they would have made that proclamation on the show like(00:22:08.399):that adam adam hasn’t(00:22:11.076):done enough i guess to get the name yet yeah(00:22:14.459):and i wonder why adam’s hair isn’t white yeah i don’t know i mean you know we live(00:22:19.263):in a this is a special world where we’ve got you know black dudes with blonde hair(00:22:25.848):and stuff and which it clicked with me you know we talked about this before(00:22:31.112):about how renece in the book has dark hair(00:22:36.588):And I’m like, why did they make her look like a Targaryen?(00:22:39.090):Like, I don’t understand.(00:22:39.970):It’s clicked with me.(00:22:41.011):In the books, there’s nothing about the Valyrians having dark skin.(00:22:46.895):It clicked.(00:22:48.556):We needed,(00:22:49.477):as an audience,(00:22:50.278):that visual so we could see that it was obvious that Rhaenyra’s kids were b******s.(00:22:55.982):Absolutely.(00:22:56.542):So that’s the reason why they made them dark skinned.(00:23:01.575):And it clicked with me.(00:23:02.776):I’m like, okay, that’s exactly what it is.(00:23:05.076):A lot of people have gripes with changes and stuff like that.(00:23:08.058):But like, it’s just a simple fact that like, look, television is a visual medium.(00:23:12.599):And there’s a lot of things like when you’re in the books,(00:23:15.340):you can explain things away and like people can understand.(00:23:18.661):But like for TV, you need visual cues.(00:23:21.923):You need to be able to know it without it being said.(00:23:24.504):So like good change on that part.(00:23:26.424):Yeah, exactly.(00:23:27.525):Exactly.(00:23:28.872):Then we see Allison, she goes down to the gold cloaks, I’m just going to say field house.(00:23:34.757):Yeah.(00:23:35.197):Because I mean like... That’s their field house.(00:23:37.759):I mean, you know, like she walks in and they’re just like... Yeah, the sauna.(00:23:41.802):There’s just weenies everywhere.(00:23:43.163):Yeah, there was weenies everywhere.(00:23:44.004):And she’s just like, my bad.(00:23:46.206):It reminded me of the scene on Steel Magnolias when they’re doing the radio thing(00:23:50.709):and she says, what color is this?(00:23:52.270):You know, would you say it’s aubergine?(00:23:53.972):Yeah.(00:23:54.816):That was them.(00:23:56.458):I mean, that was Allison in Fieldhouse.(00:23:58.980):By the way, I got to give HBO props.(00:24:01.942):And, you know,(00:24:02.783):Jonah Hill made this point in a deleted scene from Knocked Up many, many years ago.(00:24:08.048):So this isn’t completely original, but like,(00:24:12.507):I’m giving props for full frontal male nudity because it’s just about time.(00:24:19.292):You know,(00:24:19.732):we’ve been looking at women’s boobs and bushes for years,(00:24:23.054):and that’s always been fine, but it’s like, oh, don’t show the men.(00:24:26.156):You’ve been looking at women’s bushes in porn, not in just regular HBO TV, though.(00:24:30.959):They’ll push it up sometimes.(00:24:33.467):Okay, there might be a—but it’s not a common thing like boobs.(00:24:36.672):True, not a common thing like boobs.(00:24:38.114):But I’m just saying, like,(00:24:39.696):it’s high time that the men get exploited and sexualized as well,(00:24:45.365):and we see some wieners.(00:24:46.707):And, like, I don’t know.(00:24:49.971):You can tell me,(00:24:50.672):and I know you’re my sister,(00:24:51.674):so this is weird,(00:24:52.375):but we as men have always just assumed wieners are for function,(00:24:58.404):but no woman actually likes looking at a wiener.(00:25:01.448):No one wants a picture of it.(00:25:03.411):No one wants an unsolicited anything.(00:25:05.855):No one wants a picture of it beside a can or anything like that.(00:25:09.340):You know what I’m saying?(00:25:11.082):There’s like a meme about that.(00:25:12.725):Is that for like size referential?(00:25:14.988):Yes.(00:25:15.709):What you mean?(00:25:16.090):Listen, I’m married.(00:25:17.191):I’ve been with my husband for eight(00:25:19.134):I’m just going by what the young pups on the internet are talking about.(00:25:23.721):But that’s pretty much across the board.(00:25:25.804):You don’t know a woman who’s like, oh, I love a good looking schlong.(00:25:29.249):No, because they’re not that way.(00:25:31.552):And men just literally don’t listen to(00:25:34.176):Right.(00:25:34.956):Now, I guess to defend the men a little bit,(00:25:38.319):maybe they’re thinking like, well,(00:25:39.600):she might not be interested in the way that it looks,(00:25:41.981):but the size of it, that might.(00:25:44.323):But even women know like, hey, I mean, look, four inches can get it done, you know?(00:25:48.927):Yeah, I mean,(00:25:49.587):that’s not like,(00:25:51.929):I mean, I know there’s exceptions, but in general, that’s just not how it works.(00:25:59.474):Right.(00:25:59.855):So my point is, is like,(00:26:02.262):So showing boobs on TV, that’s giving one for the boys.(00:26:05.904):We want to see that.(00:26:06.784):Showing a wiener on TV, that’s actually not for anybody.(00:26:10.426):Nobody likes that.(00:26:11.626):But it’s real,(00:26:12.747):and I do think if women are going to get exploited,(00:26:15.508):I want to see some hangers, and I want them big.(00:26:18.569):Yeah, or if we could just not exploit anybody.(00:26:21.075):Nah, in a show like this,(00:26:22.956):you’ve got to be showing the raw, the dirty, you know, I want to see some hangers.(00:26:27.439):Yeah.(00:26:27.599):Well, I mean,(00:26:27.979):don’t exploit, like,(00:26:29.620):you know, Dani,(00:26:30.601):they showed her boobs,(00:26:31.481):and then she said when she were negotiating a contract,(00:26:33.923):she’s like, I won’t be naked again.(00:26:35.384):So, like,(00:26:36.384):obviously don’t force someone to do it,(00:26:38.446):but there’s also, like,(00:26:40.047):Sydney Sweeney who said,(00:26:41.167):like, I love pulling them out, and, like, God bless her for that.(00:26:44.269):I’m glad she does.(00:26:45.130):Yeah, also, though,(00:26:46.090):just Sydney Sweeney, does she actually really, or does she know that literally?(00:26:49.973):That’ll work.(00:26:51.187):Yes, literally her career has been built on her boots.(00:26:54.070):Yeah, right.(00:26:54.550):And she’s more than that, obviously, but that’s why she’s been hired.(00:26:58.994):For sure.(00:26:59.734):Speaking of hangers, this is a little off topic, but I don’t know when it’ll come up again.(00:27:03.918):Do you know the Willem Dafoe story?(00:27:06.797):No, he’s got a tripod.(00:27:08.979):Oh, yeah.(00:27:09.339):And you can see it.(00:27:10.520):Good for him.(00:27:13.162):He fought fires 9-11.(00:27:15.043):Yeah, that was Steve Buscemi.(00:27:16.184):Yeah, Willem Dafoe is Boondock Saints.(00:27:18.025):Same idea.(00:27:19.106):For the record, Willem Dafoe may have, and I don’t know about it, but that’s Steve Buscemi.(00:27:22.648):Yeah, no, that was Steve Buscemi.(00:27:24.450):They’re kind of the same idea.(00:27:25.751):They are.(00:27:26.211):Nobody on earth looks like them, and they’re both tremendous actors.(00:27:29.373):So Willem Dafoe,(00:27:30.834):you can see his wiener right now if you want to,(00:27:33.216):because he did a stage play where he was naked, right?(00:27:37.512):I’m not gonna look that up.(00:27:38.574):No, I’m gonna show it to you later because I want you to see how big it is.(00:27:42.019):And the look on his face is the look of a person who’s like, yeah, I know.(00:27:45.644):Like Jon Hamm.(00:27:46.365):Yeah, it’s like, I know it.(00:27:47.627):But anyways, here’s the true story.(00:27:49.890):There was a movie where Will(00:27:52.394):William Dafoe was doing full frontal nudity and they had to bring a stunt penis in(00:27:59.359):because the director goes,(00:28:01.301):it’s too big and no one’s going to believe that that character has that.(00:28:06.324):Can you imagine how tall he felt that week when they were like, my dick is too big?(00:28:12.289):Yeah, I don’t know what a girl equivalent to that would be.(00:28:15.151):There’s not one, I don’t think.(00:28:16.552):Yeah.(00:28:16.852):Yeah.(00:28:17.753):Yeah, because that’s tied to a guy’s manhood.(00:28:20.576):Manhood, right.(00:28:21.417):And I feel like we... Also, with women, if you’ve got big boobs, everybody knows it.(00:28:27.403):You don’t have to pull them out for people to know it.(00:28:29.285):They’re under your shirt.(00:28:30.046):And also, a lot of times if a woman has bigger boobs, it’s annoying to the woman.(00:28:34.851):It’s annoying.(00:28:35.532):It’s back pain.(00:28:36.413):It’s all that.(00:28:36.914):No man is just annoyed by the side.(00:28:40.437):I’m annoyed by the size of my balls like that has been a problem for me(00:28:44.359):but anyways go on with the actual show sorry for but but if you want(00:28:48.141):to see Willem Dafoe’s penis I suggest you look it up he does a stage play(00:28:51.863):and he dances around a little bit so it flops around(00:28:54.224):and I’m talking it is huge cold like it’s flaccid and it’s it’s(00:28:58.326):a hanger well besides that(00:29:02.472):When Allison’s in the field house,(00:29:05.473):she tells Dudebro, who,(00:29:06.834):by the way,(00:29:07.615):was on Downton Abbey,(00:29:09.676):he was the one that Mary, you know, stayed the night in a hotel with.(00:29:13.677):Oh, that’s right.(00:29:14.418):I remember that guy.(00:29:15.198):Yeah, yeah, yeah.(00:29:15.939):Scandalous.(00:29:16.799):Yes.(00:29:17.319):So she sees him,(00:29:19.020):and she’s telling Dudebro, like,(00:29:21.041):the whole sitch about Rhaenyra coming,(00:29:24.723):and he’s like,(00:29:25.343):you know, people can see that as treason, and she’s like, all right, but do you—(00:29:29.544):And obviously, like, there’s a moment of, okay, I’m on your side.(00:29:32.506):Right.(00:29:33.066):Then we cut to Ulf and Hugh the Hammer.(00:29:37.268):Ulf.(00:29:37.708):Yeah, he’s such an Ulf.(00:29:39.089):Ulf and Hugh the Hammer.(00:29:41.230):They’re at Dragonstone, and Damon shows up, and he’s like, what are y’all doing here?(00:29:46.673):Literally, like,(00:29:47.513):you’re supposed to be at Harrenhal waiting on Vhagar on your literal,(00:29:52.936):like, suicide mission.(00:29:54.777):What’s it called?(00:29:55.657):Is it Kamikaze?(00:29:56.898):Kamikaze is when it’s Japanese.(00:29:58.739):Yeah, but like the equivalent of, I mean, dragokazi.(00:30:03.721):Yeah, dragokazi.(00:30:04.821):And also, it’s not just a hop, skip, and a jump over there.(00:30:07.382):Like, it’s a long way to travel.(00:30:09.223):Yeah.(00:30:09.903):I looked up earlier, like, the equivalent, like, miles and out.(00:30:13.705):There’s a chart online that goes by dragon time or,(00:30:17.966):like, carriage time or boat time to, like, all the places.(00:30:21.628):How fast do the dragons go?(00:30:23.648):I’d say they can haul fast.(00:30:24.649):Here, let me just look it up real quick.(00:30:26.109):Yeah, go ahead.(00:30:26.910):Dragon...(00:30:35.033):Flying from Harrenhal to Dragonstone on a dragon takes about four to six hours.(00:30:39.736):Okay.(00:30:40.297):Alright, so that covers a map distance of roughly 400 miles.(00:30:43.820):You gotta stop so the dragon can drink some water, though, I’d say, right?(00:30:47.823):You know what I mean?(00:30:48.784):Yeah, I don’t know if they camel it up.(00:30:51.246):Yeah, they might camel it up a bit, but they surely get tired.(00:30:54.368):Yeah, and I’m assuming, too, that since they’re not experienced(00:30:58.268):Dragon riders, we’ll just say that it’s from here to like Apalachicoa.(00:31:04.430):Okay, right on, yeah.(00:31:06.451):And we live in Chickamauga, Georgia, so you can, yeah.(00:31:08.992):It’s not a day trip, because a day trip is there and back in a day.(00:31:13.613):sure yeah yeah for sure yeah yeah all right(00:31:16.614):so they get there i mean damon gets there(00:31:19.756):and sees them is like what are y’all doing you’re supposed to be in heron hall(00:31:23.178):and they’re like well you know vagar didn’t show up and there was these goat men(00:31:26.619):and i was scared and then this witch and damon’s like you were there for two days(00:31:31.101):and y’all already like left like okay pusses(00:31:35.103):so i mean i mean literally like he’s like he like he’s like y’all are a joke(00:31:40.706):and you know the(00:31:43.984):Ulf makes Hugh look really bad.(00:31:46.305):Because Ulf just literally is an idiot.(00:31:49.707):I mean, right when Damon walks up, he’s like, oh, the rogue prince!(00:31:52.449):What up?(00:31:53.129):What up, mate?(00:31:54.490):Yeah, what up, mate?(00:31:56.551):And that’s Laura James’ saying, what up, mate?(00:31:59.953):Then all of a sudden, what up?(00:32:02.415):What up, mate?(00:32:03.952):All of a sudden,(00:32:04.753):a dude comes in and is like,(00:32:05.833):hey, Vhagar has been seen leaving King’s Landing, heading to the Riverlands.(00:32:11.478):Then we cut to Rhaenyra.(00:32:12.759):She’s in bed and she’s grieving.(00:32:14.760):You know, she’s just completely depressed.(00:32:17.202):I’m sorry, but if you want to be the queen, you got to get your ass up.(00:32:19.984):You ain’t got time to grieve, girl.(00:32:21.085):Yeah, well,(00:32:21.785):so she tells Daemon,(00:32:24.007):like, hey, Bela said there was another dragon named Sheepstealer.(00:32:32.935):Yeah, which I keep thinking,(00:32:34.996):does Baelin know the dragon sheepstealer because she actually knows her sister was(00:32:39.738):on the dragon saying sheepstealer and she’s just not telling on her sister?(00:32:43.960):Yeah, probably.(00:32:44.940):Yeah.(00:32:45.881):So...(00:32:47.645):Damon’s like, how do the greens already have another dragon?(00:32:50.126):So their mind is,(00:32:51.387):first thing is,(00:32:52.127):like, the greens just have a lone dragon, which, I mean, I would think that, too.(00:32:55.749):I wouldn’t think, oh, yeah,(00:32:57.330):my daughter is an IDIOT and took her dang dragon that she just met(00:33:03.594):and doesn’t even know his Christian name to fly with everybody.(00:33:10.257):And then...(00:33:12.160):damon tells renera all about his vision at heron hall about the dream of song of ice(00:33:20.908):and fire you know heron hall they say heron hall like the actual castle has powers(00:33:26.753):but you know alice rivers was there and she was doing like a little incantation(00:33:33.279):or whatever yeah over damon and he had the dream(00:33:36.899):And you met the dream from last season.(00:33:39.362):It shows, you know, Daenerys with, you know, the dragons on her breasts.(00:33:45.168):Like, it shows everything.(00:33:46.469):Did it also show Samwell Tarly writing the book later?(00:33:50.413):Yeah, I mean, literally...(00:33:52.455):Of course, Damon,(00:33:53.476):you know, to actually just believe his wife, it takes him having just a witch dream.(00:33:58.098):That’s literally just how it works, you know.(00:34:00.979):So then we see Allison, and she’s, like, packing an overnight bag.(00:34:05.041):She’s getting her toiletries.(00:34:07.042):She’s ready to leave King’s Landing.(00:34:09.423):She’s going to go haul her at Helena so they can get the hell out of Dodge.(00:34:14.525):Well, Lord Jasper comes in and is like,(00:34:16.866):hmm, I know you’re up to something, and tries to R-word her.(00:34:21.408):Yeah.(00:34:22.735):Sexually assault, not make her stupid.(00:34:26.636):Yeah, great, you know.(00:34:27.976):Yeah, yeah.(00:34:28.396):She’s saved by the maester,(00:34:30.337):and they take Lord Jasper off to, you know, hang him off screen, I’m assuming.(00:34:35.678):Then we see Rhaenyra say that she is heading to King’s Landing.(00:34:40.820):Damon tells Ulf and Hugh to head on Dragonback to defend him at King’s Landing.(00:34:46.341):By God.(00:34:47.341):Can we start calling our doctors maesters again?(00:34:50.623):I say bring it back.(00:34:52.464):All right, we’ll be right back right after this.(00:34:54.225):And as always, brought to you by CoreyWritesForYou.com.(00:34:57.287):Subscribe.(00:34:58.207):You will make me very, very, very happy.(00:35:00.628):Yes, now scoot over so I can stretch.(00:35:02.429):Okay.(00:35:03.070):We’re back.(00:35:04.150):All righty.(00:35:04.811):Cole sees Hagar from above, and so he knows it’s time to head out.(00:35:10.834):He’s like, all right, let’s head to Heron Hall.(00:35:14.740):Eamon shows up at Harrenhal on Vhagar and just lights it up.(00:35:20.864):So he starts burning people alive or whatever and then he gets off Vhagar(00:35:26.949):and he starts just sorting people and he’s looking like medieval Barbie(00:35:32.653):while doing it because his hair is looking good.(00:35:36.596):He’s serving.(00:35:37.476):He’s serving hair.(00:35:39.278):Yeah.(00:35:40.543):and so he walks after he’s you know been burning people with his dragon(00:35:45.911):and swording them and he walks into the hall and sees simon strong(00:35:52.561):and his sons eating which i’m like(00:35:55.205):Why didn’t y’all run off?(00:35:56.626):Right.(00:35:57.086):Like, you mean to tell me that, like, the doors at Harrenhal, like, prevent the sound of Vhagar?(00:36:02.489):Right.(00:36:03.170):And people screaming?(00:36:04.631):Yeah, that always pisses me off in shows.(00:36:07.172):And I guess you could be like, oh, they’re in shock or whatever.(00:36:09.834):But, like, I’m not saying you’re not going to get caught.(00:36:12.235):But, you know, fight or flight, buddy.(00:36:14.557):Do one of them.(00:36:15.397):You’re falling underneath the table, at least.(00:36:17.338):Right.(00:36:18.119):All right.(00:36:18.559):So, he sees them.(00:36:20.200):And Simon’s like, hey...(00:36:24.033):We weren’t expecting you.(00:36:25.454):Yeah, very flippant.(00:36:26.915):Like, oh, well, this is quite a surprise.(00:36:29.417):I believe I may be about to be murdered.(00:36:32.319):Yeah, Eamon’s like, all right, well, let’s fight, bro.(00:36:37.964):Yeah.(00:36:38.244):Yeah.(00:36:39.225):And Simon’s like, I don’t even wield a blade no more, man.(00:36:43.468):Right.(00:36:43.928):I’m also 100 pounds overweight.(00:36:46.430):Yeah, and just sweet.(00:36:48.192):And then he goes up to Eamon and is like, let’s figure this out, bud.(00:36:52.855):And he puts his hand on Aemond’s shoulder like, yeah, we’re gonna figure this out.(00:36:58.179):So Aemond just guts him, you know.(00:36:59.800):Of course.(00:37:00.701):And then, you know, kills the sons.(00:37:03.082):Who also didn’t even remotely try to run.(00:37:05.744):They just stood there and got slashed in the face.(00:37:08.946):Yeah, yeah.(00:37:09.587):But then I’m like, okay, Alice Rivers disables Aemond.(00:37:16.912):Right.(00:37:18.005):Aemon’s, like,(00:37:18.706):crawling to her because he can’t figure out what’s going on, and he says, help me.(00:37:24.929):Do you think maybe Alice Rivers, like, got them to not move?(00:37:28.492):Maybe.(00:37:29.112):I mean, she’s clearly controlling a bunch of things.(00:37:32.774):I don’t know, like, I mean, because she’s got, like, she’s got scarlet witch powers, apparently.(00:37:38.338):Yeah, yeah, like, she’s, she cray.(00:37:42.200):So, the dragons show up at King’s Landing.(00:37:46.014):and allison and helena like head out and tell one of(00:37:50.797):the guards like we’re you know we’re getting the hell out of dodge basically and(00:37:54.940):so renera shows up on her dragon(00:37:57.742):and is like okay look see see what i’m saying this wasn’t(00:38:01.245):a ruse allison is fulfilling her promise like this is good d just d i have it(00:38:07.970):in my phone as d d damon damon(00:38:12.475):Daddy damon.(00:38:13.196):Daddy damon just starts killing guards.(00:38:15.580):Just, you know.(00:38:16.401):Having fun with it.(00:38:17.382):Just having a blast.(00:38:18.183):He loves murder.(00:38:19.225):That’s all he loves is murder.(00:38:21.148):Like, dude, like, you know, Rhaenyra is obviously very... She’s emotional.(00:38:26.676):He’s...(00:38:27.417):He’s such a narcissistic sociopath that I do believe that if he’s capable of love,(00:38:34.599):he does love her, but it is just about winning for him.(00:38:38.520):It’s just the power.(00:38:40.100):He’s having so much fun.(00:38:41.501):This is what he was built to do.(00:38:43.281):He only really started loving her after he had the dream.(00:38:46.002):That’s true.(00:38:46.683):That’s true.(00:38:47.644):So they arrive in the throne room and the Kingsguard is there and they’re like,(00:38:53.533):okay, we’re gonna kill you.(00:38:54.855):And then all of a sudden all these troops come in and they’re thinking, crap, we’re surrounded.(00:39:00.883):Just to realize that it’s all the gold cloaks and they’re like, what’s up?(00:39:05.928):We said a note, signed a note to Damon like 20 years ago and like, he’s our man.(00:39:12.113):If he can’t do it, no one can.(00:39:13.594):There you go.(00:39:14.675):And so they’re like, we got your back.(00:39:16.377):I love how too, like, getting the throne is just...(00:39:20.781):It’s an actual physical thing.(00:39:22.122):Like, it’s not a metaphor.(00:39:23.063):It’s like, oh, okay, like...(00:39:25.244):You gotta go take it.(00:39:26.625):Yeah, right.(00:39:27.325):Musical chairs.(00:39:28.425):I was gonna say it’s like a ladder match in WWE.(00:39:31.307):Like, you climb to the top of the ladder and you grab the belt and now you’re the champion.(00:39:36.549):Like, that’s just all there is to it.(00:39:37.989):You just go get it.(00:39:38.529):Yeah, I don’t think that’s how it was in Game of Thrones.(00:39:40.670):Right.(00:39:41.010):Like, you just go get it.(00:39:42.591):And it’s like, oh, well, now they’re there.(00:39:44.251):So, they are.(00:39:45.292):We have to fall in line.(00:39:46.332):Yeah, notice that they got the throne again.(00:39:49.087):Without having to burn the Red Keep down.(00:39:51.770):Yeah.(00:39:52.390):And everybody in it.(00:39:53.532):Yep.(00:39:54.172):It is possible.(00:39:54.953):Yes, it’s possible.(00:39:57.095):And so this all goes down and Damon’s like, go take the throne.(00:40:01.179):And she’s like, hold on, bring egg on the usurper to me.(00:40:05.143):Fried egg on?(00:40:06.304):Yeah, fried egg.(00:40:08.346):And, sorry, burp.(00:40:10.772):They don’t realize at the time the egg ain’t there.(00:40:13.393):So someone hollers at Damon.(00:40:15.414):He’s like, hey, Laris, old strongfoot’s got something, got a surprise for you downstairs.(00:40:21.918):And so Damon’s like, okay.(00:40:23.318):So he goes down to the basement, sees Otto in prison.(00:40:26.460):Laris literally just had him down there in chains the whole time.(00:40:30.422):The whole time.(00:40:31.162):Otto’s just got a big old beard.(00:40:33.779):Damon shows up to the throne room with Otto and says,(00:40:38.062):the rats in the black cell have grown uncommon big.(00:40:41.625):This episode was really funny.(00:40:43.506):There was a lot of, like, it’s not always fun.(00:40:46.028):Like, that was my one critique of, like,(00:40:48.910):the first and second season of, like,(00:40:50.991):I do love this show, but the one thing it’s missing is that Game of Thrones humor.(00:40:55.935):And it’s still not at that level, but there were a lot of really good quips in this show.(00:41:01.018):Yes, for sure.(00:41:02.160):for sure so uh damon’s like all right renera cut his head off that’s(00:41:06.626):the moment you’ll become queen and she’s like i don’t know(00:41:09.631):if i can like i don’t know if i can do it and i’m not making(00:41:13.056):a really good i was sitting there watching that and i’m like you’re not doing(00:41:15.519):a really good showing for these(00:41:17.221):And I think she literally just meant, like, physically I don’t think I can do it.(00:41:21.822):Right, yeah.(00:41:22.243):Like, I mean, you know.(00:41:23.183):Which is still not a good look.(00:41:24.403):And so, Otto’s like, okay, well, just let Damon do it, because he won’t hack my head off.(00:41:29.425):And Raniere says, bet.(00:41:31.265):Well, no,(00:41:31.765):he says,(00:41:32.926):he says,(00:41:33.346):just let Damon do it, because then at least it’ll be, like, one clean thing.(00:41:37.047):Yeah, he says- So it was like an insult to her at the end.(00:41:38.887):Yeah, well, he said, I won’t be hacked at.(00:41:40.888):Yeah, right, exactly.(00:41:41.588):And so, Raniere says, bet.(00:41:43.989):And then after-(00:41:45.595):the first swing she gets him but not all the way and then(00:41:50.318):the second swing she blows his head smooth off and i mean(00:41:58.907):You’re a freaking Theon Greyjoy could never.(00:42:02.409):No, absolutely not.(00:42:03.790):But as you pointed out, Theon Greyjoy didn’t have the benefit of valerian steel.(00:42:07.652):Yeah, yeah, true.(00:42:09.153):I would love to see like a QVC style commercial in the Game of Thrones world(00:42:13.295):of them selling valerian steel like they do those knives.(00:42:16.377):We should do that for the show.(00:42:17.578):Yeah, we should.(00:42:18.478):Right after that, Sir Jasper’s like, tell my lady wife!(00:42:22.921):And then all of a sudden his head’s chopped off too.(00:42:26.053):Yeah, she ain’t getting that message, bro.(00:42:27.756):Rhaenyra slowly starts walking up to the throne(00:42:30.580):and it’s like she’s physically carrying the weight of all that she lost to get to(00:42:36.288):that moment.(00:42:36.849):Absolutely.(00:42:37.550):She literally, she’s not even walking straight, almost like she’s(00:42:42.376):Like, she’s actually got a big sack of just heavy stuff on her back.(00:42:47.542):Not to keep comparing it to WWE,(00:42:49.704):but, like, definitely selling that moment like a heartbreak kid.(00:42:54.370):Like, I’m about to win the title.(00:42:56.071):I’m about to grab it.(00:42:56.912):But, like, it’s very dramatic.(00:42:59.495):And I’m feeling all of it, and yeah, it was good s**t.(00:43:02.979):And again, like, bro, like,(00:43:05.562):we talked on the first episode how it felt like the penultimate,(00:43:09.066):this felt like a season finale, and I’m like, where do you go from here, you know?(00:43:14.752):Keep going, I have thoughts.(00:43:15.533):Well, I think we’re gonna go to hell from here,(00:43:17.935):because some bad stuff’s gonna end up happening, but...(00:43:20.682):so they drag in alicent and helena and alicent sees her dead daddy his head(00:43:27.791):and is obviously in shock like holy crap like he’s dead and i haven’t seen him(00:43:33.818):in forever right and so she looks up at ryanira(00:43:37.763):And is like, wait, what?(00:43:39.565):And Rhaenyra just kind of gives her an emotional look back.(00:43:43.227):And you can’t tell if it’s like a sorry it had to be done or like a smug look.(00:43:49.993):It’s kind of hard to tell.(00:43:51.053):It felt more to me like a sorry it had to be done.(00:43:54.016):This is just the process of war.(00:43:55.877):Yeah, and that she was just like so overwhelmed by it.(00:43:58.820):Because like, it’s one thing to think of all these things.(00:44:02.082):But then when you’re finally there and it sets in, it’s like, oh, yeah, like.(00:44:06.901):Yeah, and so then after that, it cuts to black, and it’s done.(00:44:12.827):I thought it was a fantastic episode,(00:44:15.049):and like I said,(00:44:16.251):it felt so much like a season finale that I’m very excited about what’s going(00:44:21.556):to happen in this season because, like,(00:44:24.658):Here I go with the wrestling stuff again, that’s gonna come up a lot.(00:44:28.003):But like,(00:44:28.844):in wrestling,(00:44:30.367):you know,(00:44:30.747):when you’ve got someone that you root for,(00:44:33.852):you want them to win the championship,(00:44:36.275):the chase, them chasing the title is so exciting.(00:44:40.562):Right?(00:44:41.203):And you’re like,(00:44:41.924):you want them to win and then, oh,(00:44:43.286):they get defeated,(00:44:43.927):but you’re still rooting for them and they’re chasing and they’re chasing(00:44:46.290):and they’re chasing.(00:44:47.111):And there’s some wrestlers who are like,(00:44:49.094):they’re really good at the chase, but then you put the title on them and now it’s(00:44:54.462):Yeah.(00:45:10.465):Just by the nature of how these shows work, somebody else is about to chase.(00:45:15.229):I mean, there’s always someone coming for the throne.(00:45:18.351):We got fried Aegon out there who has acclaim,(00:45:22.835):and now I don’t know, how do you feel about his ability to raise an army right now?(00:45:28.200):Because probably not good.(00:45:29.621):Not good.(00:45:32.531):Because Rhaenyra’s beloved and also Daemon is probably the greatest—I mean,(00:45:37.959):he’s the, you know, the—what do you—the—(00:45:42.842):When a queen’s not in power, but they are the queen, you just call them the... Regent.(00:45:48.125):The regent.(00:45:48.866):He’s the king regent, I guess.(00:45:50.327):Yeah.(00:45:51.127):But also, like,(00:45:52.048):one of the greatest whips,(00:45:53.829):to use a government term, like, he can get the people motivated.(00:45:57.852):He’s a mover and a shaker.(00:45:59.233):I mean, they are a very, very powerful power couple.(00:46:02.855):Yeah, I don’t feel like, I mean,(00:46:04.796):I don’t know what happens,(00:46:06.516):but I would think that it’d be hard for Aegon to get people because,(00:46:13.599):I mean, Rhaenyra’s back in charge.(00:46:17.160):And let’s face it,(00:46:18.240):unless you’re like a Stark and you’re like,(00:46:20.781):I’ve never broken an oath, they’re just wanting to do whatever they think’s safest.(00:46:26.183):For sure.(00:46:27.399):And, I mean, it’s safest to just back who’s on the crown right now.(00:46:32.005):Of course.(00:46:32.386):Absolutely.(00:46:33.147):You know,(00:46:33.788):so that’s why it cracks me up when they’re,(00:46:35.851):like, telling people, like, bend a knee or, you know, you’ll die a horrible death.(00:46:39.837):And it’s like, I’m telling you what, I’ll break.(00:46:42.380):Yeah, it’s going through the floor.(00:46:44.921):My knee is getting bent the opposite way.(00:46:48.203):That’s how far quick I’m dropping.(00:46:50.303):It kind of depends.(00:46:52.624):With Joffrey, I don’t know.(00:46:55.446):I think I would rather just die than live in a world where Joffrey’s my king(00:47:00.648):and I’m bending a knee to him.(00:47:03.189):Yeah, no, I want to live.(00:47:04.029):I don’t want to get burnt by a dragon ever.(00:47:05.920):Yeah, I’m just saying, to me,(00:47:07.843):if you’re in the position already of like,(00:47:10.787):bend your knee or I’m gonna kill you,(00:47:12.930):I don’t think you’re that safe afterwards either.(00:47:15.975):So to me, I’m like, I’ll just take that, look, I’m gonna die anyway, so I’ll at least take(00:47:20.902):The death that my children can be proud of and that is that I didn’t buck.(00:47:25.946):I thought it was a great episode.(00:47:28.148):I think I gave the episode one a 4.4.(00:47:32.591):I’ll give this a 4.5.(00:47:33.852):It had everything I wanted.(00:47:36.094):And again, it was set up like a finale.(00:47:38.856):It had all the theatrics.(00:47:41.258):It was tremendous.(00:47:42.779):As much as I disliked Season 2,(00:47:46.162):and disliked is a strong word,(00:47:47.663):as much as I was underwhelmed by Season 2,(00:47:50.786):they got the memo, and Season 3 so far is cooking.(00:47:55.329):Yeah, well, I’m going to give it 4.1.(00:47:58.752):Okay.(00:47:59.633):And the only reason is just...(00:48:02.671):if i’m going standalone not comparing it to(00:48:05.295):the first episode would be different first episode i just loved(00:48:08.860):the battle scenes yeah and this one didn’t have like those battle scenes like(00:48:13.527):that right so that’s the only thing that i could say oh well the first(00:48:17.673):Well, you’re right.(00:48:18.835):But this one was great.(00:48:21.038):And I mean, no complaints.(00:48:23.021):I mean, there can’t be a major battle in every single episode.(00:48:25.324):Well, and me being consistent,(00:48:26.947):the reason that I docked it a .1 on the first episode was because of the lack(00:48:32.194):of Damon.(00:48:32.595):And I got my Damon in this episode, and he was killing people and being funny.(00:48:38.157):And, like, again, Matt Smith is my boy.(00:48:40.777):So, yeah, I thought it was a great episode.(00:48:43.258):4.5 out of 5 dragons for me.(00:48:47.439):I love where we’re headed.(00:48:48.740):Do you have any predictions that you want to just, like,(00:48:50.800):go ahead and say for,(00:48:53.081):like, the remainder of the season, like, things that are going to happen?(00:48:56.022):Okay, it’s completely founded in nothing,(00:48:59.708):but just to throw something out there,(00:49:01.310):we were talking about how is Aegon going to raise an army?(00:49:04.815):I think that we are about to see Strongfoot get along.(00:49:10.844):He’s a lot more vindictive and sort of become the little finger of this show,(00:49:17.974):as if he was already heading down that path.(00:49:20.899):He was, he just doesn’t have the charisma.(00:49:22.601):He doesn’t have the charisma, but as we saw in this episode,(00:49:25.846):He was talking a little bit different to Aegon.(00:49:28.228):He was chirping back at him, like,(00:49:30.410):maybe he finds his charisma,(00:49:32.151):because, like,(00:49:33.232):some people aren’t born with it,(00:49:34.633):and they gotta find it,(00:49:35.854):and I think he’s gonna be a very important character,(00:49:38.316):because, like,(00:49:39.197):he’s gonna have to serve as, like,(00:49:41.139):if Aegon’s the golfer,(00:49:42.720):he needs a good caddy in his corner,(00:49:45.042):and I think Strongfoot is going to, and I think he’ll ultimately fail(00:49:50.171):But I think that he’s gonna get really vindictive(00:49:52.633):and we’re gonna see some interesting and dark stuff from him.(00:49:56.155):Yeah.(00:49:56.696):That’s what I think.(00:49:57.336):What about you?(00:49:58.677):Well, I think that once they find out that sheep stealer’s in the veil,(00:50:05.482):they’re gonna get it out of Jane,(00:50:08.004):Lady Jane, that like, hey, it was, it was Reyna that was on the(00:50:16.110):What do you think is about to happen to Alicent?(00:50:17.871):About what happens to Alicent,(00:50:19.392):it’s more like what she’s gonna do because... Well, yeah, that’s what I mean.(00:50:24.014):As long as Alicent doesn’t act upon what happened to her dad, she’s fulfilling what she said.(00:50:29.977):Exactly.(00:50:30.717):And Rhaenyra wants her and Helena to be safe.(00:50:34.019):Of course, but there’s gonna be that underlying tension like, you did kill my dad.(00:50:39.542):Like, and so she’s like,(00:50:41.164):she wants to feel safe,(00:50:42.166):but like, they’re never going to be able to get back to where they were.(00:50:46.850):No, no, no.(00:50:47.890):I think...(00:50:48.755):all we can just realistically see is that they just don’t want the other one to die.(00:50:53.883):In fact, it was kind of stupid.(00:50:55.704):Like, Rhaenyra,(00:50:56.924):I guess, had to kill him because it’s like, hey, you’re the queen, you should do it.(00:51:00.885):But from a political standpoint,(00:51:02.826):she probably should have let Daemon so that she could at least be like,(00:51:05.947):hey, he did it, not me.(00:51:06.967):Or would actually just keep him in prison and get information out of him.(00:51:10.568):Yeah, it would have been better not to kill him at all.(00:51:12.649):Yeah, or make him be like black ops spy and stuff.(00:51:15.249):Yeah, I assume that was because...(00:51:17.550):It was just emotion and anger.(00:51:18.770):Well, and also, it’s, oh my god, I was just scratching my balls.(00:51:21.671):I hope they were not on camera.(00:51:24.213):I don’t mind if you know I scratched my balls like I just hope I didn’t.(00:51:27.858):It also might have been because that actor who I can’t remember his name even(00:51:30.803):though I love him like he might just have to go like he might have other s**t to do(00:51:34.688):so you know what are you gonna do well there you go there you have it Kirby anything(00:51:38.434):to promote?(00:51:40.464):Again, good vibes.(00:51:41.866):Love.(00:51:42.447):Promoting them vibes.(00:51:43.929):Listen to—I assume everyone that listens to this is also listening to Putting(00:51:49.217):on Air, though we do have some people that just discovered this show randomly.(00:51:53.724):Listen to Putting on Air.(00:51:54.705):It comes out every Friday.(00:51:56.906):Listen to the Well Read podcast.(00:51:58.867):It comes out every Wednesday.(00:52:00.889):And of course, this comes out every Sunday.(00:52:03.990):But you can see it earlier, and in this case, way earlier, at coreywritesforyou.com.(00:52:09.814):And I really, really would appreciate it if you did.(00:52:12.355):I want to send my son to college one day.(00:52:17.551):So, appreciate you.(00:52:18.532):I was just trying to hold in a burp.(00:52:21.274):Corey, I’ve literally sat here and burped this whole podcast.(00:52:24.377):I’ll cut them out.(00:52:25.157):Well, to be honest, I mean, I don’t care.(00:52:27.720):I mean, there’s literally chips and French onion dip behind me.(00:52:31.222):I just, like, forget.(00:52:34.365):Do you ever just forget that, like, you’re not supposed to burp in public?(00:52:39.083):Yeah, you know, I’m not the biggest burper in the world, which is really weird.(00:52:42.344):I know you and mom both are the biggest burpers I’ve ever— Yeah,(00:52:45.045):well, I’ve just got indigestion and heartburn and stuff.(00:52:47.426):But, like, I just be burping and forgetting.(00:52:50.148):And, like, it’s kind of like, okay, like, picking your nose.(00:52:52.889):I mean, dude, I’ll tell you, if I’m out and I do have to burp, I’m letting it rip.(00:52:56.630):Yeah.(00:52:57.010):I don’t care about that.(00:52:57.831):Yeah, well, like, picking your nose.(00:53:00.312):I mean, people don’t— You do have to get stuff out of your nose.(00:53:03.453):Well, I know.(00:53:03.873):It’s like—it’s so funny that people are like— Like, eating it.(00:53:06.122):Yeah, I’m not eating it, but, like,(00:53:07.743):I pick my nose,(00:53:08.584):and Lloyd’s always like, pick you a winner, and I’m like, okay, I will.(00:53:11.626):Like, it’s gonna feel good when this comes out.(00:53:13.447):What do y’all do?(00:53:14.428):Like, just have boogers in there all the time?(00:53:16.289):I guess Lloyd’s just, like,(00:53:17.450):discreet about his nose picking,(00:53:18.991):but I catch myself literally,(00:53:21.453):like, at a red light, and I’m tickling my brain with my finger.(00:53:25.375):Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.(00:53:25.996):I feel so good to get up there.(00:53:27.497):Yeah, but that’s the only— You ever stick a Q-tip up there and just see how far you can get?(00:53:32.206):No, because that burns my eyes.(00:53:34.590):Oh, no, it burns so good.(00:53:36.032):It burns so good.(00:53:38.696):Yeah, okay, so we were just talking about nose picking, so yeah.(00:53:40.859):Okay, yeah, right on.(00:53:41.840):Well, hey, stay fancy, y’all.(00:53:44.404):Deuces. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

Hey, gang! Enjoy tomorrow’s episode of WellRED tonight because im feeling frisky!Love ya!If you enjoy my work and it brings value to your life, consider becoming a paid subscriber! I just ran the numbers and if i could DOUBLE my paid subscribers within a calendar year, I could justify writing for you all full time! Wouldn’t that be swell? Sure would for me! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

the wait is over! Lord Corey and Lady Kirby are back discussing the season3 premire of HBO’s House of The Dragon! This episode was absolute gas no brakes from start to finish and we hope you enjoy our review!Just so you know, tornados in our area (sorry yall, thats the south for ya!) prevented us from recording until JUST NOW! and by that I mean i am uploading this literally right after we put our mics down lol. This will not be the case going forward and you can expect episodes to come out way earlier in the day on Sunday’s this season (and even earlier if you subscribe to CoreyWritesToYou.com for FREE!Enjoy the show and we love you!And hey, if you enjoy this, consider throwing us some coin by upgrading to a PAID membership!Corey Ryan Forrester’s Rants and Such! is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

Happy Saturday everybody me and Bane are just hanging out at the house this weekend bachelor style and thought we would tell you what’s up and see how you’re doing! Corey Ryan Forrester’s Rants and Such! is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

Hey y’all! I know some people prefer to hear me read my work instead of reading it themselves, and I think that’s super cool! Here is part one and two of my new southern crime drama Here We Rest (named search because that was the Jason Isbell album. I was listening to when I thought of it) I hope you enjoy it, and if you do, consider supporting this page monetarily by upgrading your subscription! Below is the written story in case you’ve missed it!Fishing downstream from a nuclear power plant ain’t the smartest thing a man could do but there sat Randall doing it no how. Says he reckons he won’t eat em but it “sure is fun trying to catch them lil three-headed sum b*****s.” I suppose it was. Randall Daughtery was many things but I liar he weren’t.Up at the fire, his wife Martha was explaining to some distant cousin bout how you can’t do double coupons at every grocery store but she had a list of the ones where you could. She had a permanent bandaid on her big toe cause she couldn’t stop knocking it on the metal rod sticking out of her recliner. She wouldn’t fix it cause the Braves hadn’t lost a pennant since it broke, and Jesus wasn’t her only superstition.The kids ran around, (in the parlance of the time), “like little wild Indians” not concerning themselves with the value of that which they broke. One was trying to fix a bicycle chain and only making it worse, while Aunt Ida’s twin girls Bogarted the jump rope so they could double Dutch until the sun went down and it was time to swat at Lightning bugs with a Whiffle Ball bat.I was behind the screen door in the camper. The camper did not come with a screen door, so Randall took the one off his dead Mama’s porch and sanded it down to fit. It was not practical, but it was nice and everyone got a kick out of it. That was Randall’s way. It didn’t matter if something is supposed to be, only that it could be. He didn’t stop to consider the foolish notion of pragmatism when he got an idea on how to make something fun. He once traced his son Levi on a door with a carpenters pencil and used a track saw to cut out an opening that only Levi could fit through. It made no sense and took all purpose away from the door, but Levi thought it was the neatest thing in the world and that’s all that mattered to Randall.I sat there drinking some home brew made by who else but Randall Daughtery. I’d pretty much given up on strong drink when Sheila left me, but I couldn’t turn down Randall’s Apple Pie. It burned in that real good way that lets you know it’s going to work but don’t sour your face too much. It was that good. I had been “inside” for a few hours just watching the little dramas of the family unfold in front of me while praying no one needed me for anything. I like these gatherings in theory, but I prefer to keep to myself. Especially back then. Seems like every time I participated in something I’d mess it up. That’s probably why she left. Didn’t have s**t all to do with the drinkin, I could ruin just bout anything while sober as a judge. Or at least I’d tell myself that to justify another swig. Then another. And then it was on to the next mason jar. Randall didn’t care, he made enough back in the day to get us through the Cold War if it ever came to that and as we all know, it didn’t.I laid back on the itchy old camper couch and started to nod off when I heard a commotion down on the bank. “Hoh-lee-S**T!” Randall screamed, forcing Sheila out of my mind for the first time all day. “Sonny Boy, get down here!”He called me Sonny Boy despite my name being Steve. Sonny Boy was his tailgunner back in The Pacific Theater, and I assumed it was a term of endearment until I found out he called me that cause after the war, Sonny Boy moped around aimlessly until shell-shock got the better of him and he shot a double dose of black tar in his neck. This was apparently Randall’s “fun” way of calling me a sad sack. I know he loved me, it’s just that generation had a hard time showing it.I ran down to meet him forgetting I’d just foundered myself on corn liquor and took out several lawn chairs on my way. I managed to stay on my feet by some miracle, but the sloshing in my stomach was about to send a bill of sale to my mouth.“What’s going on, Randall?” I said between gasps of breath while resting my elbows on my knees and my chin on my chest. Then I smelled it. I vomited so hard it was a wonder a lung didn’t come up with it. There was a body floating in the water and from what we knew from old detective shows, it had been there a while.“Hot damn whoever he is he’s blowed up like a damn birthday balloon!” Randal said nasally while pinching his nose. “We better call the law. I’ve got Sheriff Steven’s number somewhere in my truck.”I took a boat oar and slowly but surely got the body flipped over on its back. I gasped.“What’s is it, Sonny Boy?”I wiped the puke off my mouth and prepared for another round of it. I was in shock. The words were right there but it took them a minute to reach my lips.“It’s…. It’s Sheriff Stevens” I said.Randall looked at me and his face turned white. “Well” he said “I reckon he’s not gonna answer the phone then”Here We Rest Part 2Growing up in the rural south, a floating carcass was perhaps not the most unsettling thing I’ve ever seen, but it certainly would be for the children. Randall had a stillness about him that I’d never seen him wear. We were not blood, but that changes nothing. Randall is as much family to me as anyone with the last name Crosslin ever was. When I was a teenager and needed to get away from everything going on at home, Randall and Martha’s door was always open to me. Randall was a tough man, but a fair man. He also had a great sense of humor which juxtaposed comically with his tough military exterior. When you’ve watched your best friends die face down in the mud amidst the roar of enemy artillery, I reckon it makes life’s normal woes seem like child’s play in comparison. I never saw a situation get the better of him in the 30 some odd years I’ve known him, but today was different. Seeing Sheriff Steven’s body sway back and forth in the wake, bloated and stinking of death caused Randall to take a rare long beat before speaking, and when he finally did I wish he hadn’t“You need to make the call, Sonny Boy”I knew he was right but that changed nothing as far as my feelings were concerned. I had spent the better part of the week trying to see how much liquor could kill a man so I could hover just below that threshold. I’m an emotional wreck even without punishing my body, so standing there having not had a sip of water in as long as I could remember, I was numb. Well, no, that’s not true. I was very much in pain. I would’ve killed for numb actually. But I certainly couldn’t think clear enough to make a weighted decision. In that moment the only things I knew was that I still loved Sheila, and that the distance between us was my fault. I had been wanting to reach out to her for so long. To lie to her and tell her I’d changed. To tell her that things would be different. To ask if she’d come back in my life and make me whole once more.But now, instead, I’d have to call and tell her that her daddy was dead.I knew what I was supposed to do, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. “Randall, we better call the police first. I’ll holler at her afterwards but I don’t wanna be accused of failing to report this s**t in time”Randall looked at me funny “well he’ll be just as dead when you get off the phone with her, but knock yourself out, Sonny Boy”As I went to walk up the bank to get the telephone, I heard a loud boat chopping thru the water. As I turned and looked, I noticed a coast guard flag. I reckoned that meant I could stay put. Perhaps someone else had called it in before he washed up towards us. The uniformed fella in the passenger seat hollered at us over a bullhorn “STEP AWAY FROM THE BODY THIS INSTANT!”I thought to myself “What the hell did they think we were about to do, field dress the dead sumbitch and cook him for dinner? I mean I know you ain’t supposed to contaminate a crime scene but it doesn’t take a detective to figure out that this isnt where the murder happened. Damn, is that what I think happened? A murder?”Of course that’s what happened. Sheriff Steve was a lifelong fisherman, a star athlete, and a very cautious and safety prone man. There is no way you could convince me he just fell in the water and died. It may not have been murder 1, hell it may even have been an accident, but one thing is for sure: this was someone other than Sherriff Stevens doing.The coast guard feller spoke once again “terribly sorry to alarm you folks, just didn’t want you too close to the body in case it explodes. They do that sometimes ya know? Gasses in your body break down after death and you can go up like a hot fart outta nowhere!”I suppose that is true. I certainly didn’t major in anything that gave me an argument against it, but it was a rather odd thing to say over the body of a dead man.“Ok” I said “but I don’t think he’s been dead that long”“Medical examiner are we?” He said. “Nope. Just watch a lot of procedurals”Without saying another word the coast guard boat inched as close as it could without grounding itself and then used what looked like a pool cleaner to drag the body closer and then eventually on deck.“Alright guys. Be safe!” The one said as they speeded away.“Are yall gonna send someone to get our statement?” Randall screamed. But they just kept on driving.I was stunned. Almost no sooner than we had discovered the dead body, it was scooped up and heading the other way. No interview, no police tape, no sirens. To say I was in shock would be an understatement. While I was in this disillusioned state, however, I somehow mustered the courage to pick up the phone. She may not love me anymore, but the news should at least come from someone she knows.As the phone rang I thought about what I might say. I thought about our wedding. I thought about the years I’d thrown away. But mostly I thought about how horrible it was that I was about to hurt her worse than I ever have.When she answered the phone I went numb. You don’t ever consider that you’ll miss someone’s voice, but god damn it I did. Her innocent alto almost whispering “hello” sent chills down my spine. How could I have fucked this up? Why can’t I just be normal?”“Hello?” She said again “Steve, are you there??”“I’m here. I. Uh. Hey Sheila.”“Steve what do you want?”“I have to tell you something. Are you sitting down?”“I am actually. I’m sitting down to lunch”“Ok well if you’re with someone you might want to excuse yourself, because this is gonna come as a shock”“Steve, you are scaring me”I was scaring myself too. The butterflies in my stomach were laying eggs. “Sheila. Your dad is dead”There was a long pause. I didn’t think I could handle hearing her cry. Looking back, I wish to god she hadve, because what happened instead is something that I’ll never get over.“Steve I don’t know whether to laugh or throw my phone. Are you drinking again? What the f**k is your problem? Is this your idea of a joke?”I knew it would be difficult, but I didn’t think I’d be called a liar. “Sheila I don’t wanna be doing this, but I thought you’d wanna hear it from someone you knew. Your daddy is dead”“Steve” Sheila said, in a stern tone “that is impossible”“I assure you it’s not. I just saw him. They took him on down the lake in a coast guard boat. I’m sure they’ll call you soon I just…”“Steve. I’m sitting here with my father right now”I went numb once moreTo be continuedMore laterCoreyLike my work? Consider upgrading to a paid subscription! Or hey, maybe just share this post with your friends? This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

Take a trip back in time and watch my first post-Covid special! I was recently informed that it is getting a ton of Spins on Sirius XM, so maybe my old s**t has found a second life! Hope you enjoy and I’ll see you tomorrow when I get back in town! More later Corey This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

Today for your Sunday drive, listen as I drive down the road myself and complain about Subway sandwiches! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

In this podcast rant, I talk about empathy, introspection, grace, having a conscience, and other things republicans don’t have a grip on and thus can’t make great art as frequently!More later Corey Like my work? Consider becoming a PAID subscriber! I’ll always let you read my stuff for free as I don’t like Paywalls, but if it adds value to your life then hey, I’ll take it!Corey Ryan Forrester’s Rants and Such! is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.Don’t like recurring payments but still wanna support? I take one time donations, PBS style, of any amount big or small on PayPal at [email protected] on Venmo @ButterCreamCoreyQR codes for both are below! Thank you for your support! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

Hey everyone! Today’s entertainment is me b******g about returning packages, online shopping, and other such perturbations. Oh and some cooking tips! Enjoy. More later. Corey This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

Today I went to Cracker Barrel with my family and my bestie The Tennessee Tramp Janet Williams! Here is an account of that plus many ADD side quests caused mostly by my son not wanting me to do anything but serve him 🤣More later Corey Corey Ryan Forrester’s Rants and Such! is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

Hey gang! For today’s Substack entry I thought I’d talk about navigating mental health in the modern world and some tricks I’ve been playing with lately! Hope you all have a great day ‘Corey Wanna make me smile? Consider becoming a paid subscriber! Corey Ryan Forrester’s Rants and Such! is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

This week on Puttin On Airs, Trae and Corey discuss the JP Morgan Sex Slave Scandal! (And more!)Get Puttin On Airs wherever you get your podcasts, or watch it at WatchPOA.com This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

Hey everyone! Hope you are having a lovely Tuesday! In this walk and talk, I blab on about what it’s like to feel different in the world. I suspect some of you can relate. There’s part of me that has always felt this way, but I reallllly think that social media making us all more accessible has made it worse! Surely I’m not alone in that, right? Oh well, it’s fine if I am, I just wanted to get it off my chest in my never ending quest to relate! Feel free to share your thoughts below, and I hope work isn’t too awful today! More later Corey This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

The Hooters of my youth is dead and gone. As a piece of s**t, fat, dude this has made me emotional. In this recording that I did driving back from Perdido Beach today, You will hear the fond memories I have From everyone’s favorite possibly out of touch and definitely out of date and (cultural fashion) titty based chicken restaurantmore later Corey Like my work? Consider becoming a PAID subscriber! I’ll always let you read my stuff for free as I don’t like Paywalls, but if it adds value to your life then hey, I’ll take it! Don’t like recurring payments  but still wanna support? I take one time donations, PBS style, of any amount big or small on PayPal at [email protected] on Venmo @ButterCreamCoreyQR codes for both are below! Thank you for your support! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

Hey everybody! Here’s some TV shows that I really think you need to be watching, mainly so we can talk about them and I don’t feel so alone!hope you are having a wonderful Wednesday and that you enjoyed the episode of the wellRED podcast today! More later Corey Like my work? Consider becoming a PAID subscriber! I’ll always let you read my stuff for free as I don’t like Paywalls, but if it adds value to your life then hey, I’ll take it! Don’t like recurring payments  but still wanna support? I take one time donations, PBS style, of any amount big or small on PayPal at [email protected] on Venmo @ButterCreamCoreyQR codes for both are below! Thank you for your support! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

Hi everybody! For today’s sub stack post I have a half hour video podcast that is part motivation for those (like me) who are in a haze over the state of the world, part discussion of Trump’s blasphemy and how dangerous religion feels right now, part gossip from my hometown… and finishes with a new video from MAGA MAN: Everyone’s least favorite internet papaw! Hope you all have a wonderful day. More later. Corey Like my work? Consider becoming a PAID subscriber! I’ll always let you read my stuff for free as I don’t like Paywalls, but if it adds value to your life then hey, I’ll take it! Don’t like recurring payments  but still wanna support? I take one time donations, PBS style, of any amount big or small on PayPal at [email protected] on Venmo @ButterCreamCoreyQR codes for both are below! Thank you for your support! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

In my opinion, a long held suspicion of mine has been confirmed! I’ll tell you all about it after I babble for a bit about mental health and how much I hate April Fools! More laterLike my work? Consider becoming a PAID subscriber! I’ll always let you read my stuff for free as I don’t like Paywalls, but if it adds value to your life then hey, I’ll take it! Don’t like recurring payments  but still wanna support? I take one time donations, PBS style, of any amount big or small on PayPal at [email protected] on Venmo @ButterCreamCoreyQR codes for both are below! Thank you for your support! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

So I thought this would be a fun idea! I’m working on that Chickaluki short story And while editing, I decided I didn’t like the direction it took at the end so I deleted a lot of stuff and rewrote. I thought it would be neat if I read you what I have so far and you give me a suggestion for what you think. The next scene should be, and then I will take it from there the rest of the way! Obviously, with most things I write I don’t want collaboration because I want it to be completely mine and original because I have an ego like that, But I do think since you all have been so intricate in helping create the Chickaluki universe, It might be fun! Proceed with the comments! More later Corey Become a PAID subscriber! Donations here 👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻🔝 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

Warning: there is some not safe for work language and visuals. I could have edited it fully but chose not to because comedy is a process, warts and all! Enjoy .More later Become a PAID subscriber! Donations here 👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻🔝 L This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

Talking about getting in character to play different people and then mental health for some reason! Enjoy! More later Corey Come see me at The Punchline TONIGHT in Atlanta!Like my work? Consider becoming a PAID subscriber! I’ll always let you read my stuff for free as I don’t like Paywalls, but if it adds value to your life then hey, I’ll take it! Don’t like recurring payments  but still wanna support? I take one time donations, PBS style, of any amount big or small on PayPal at [email protected] on Venmo @ButterCreamCoreyQR codes for both are below! Thank you for your support! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

Featured: characters I created today. Golf POV. Hanging with my son. Enjoy! More later Corey Come see me at The Punchline This Sunday in Atlanta!Like my work? Consider becoming a PAID subscriber! I’ll always let you read my stuff for free as I don’t like Paywalls, but if it adds value to your life then hey, I’ll take it! Don’t like recurring payments  but still wanna support? I take one time donations, PBS style, of any amount big or small on PayPal at [email protected] on Venmo @ButterCreamCoreyQR codes for both are below! Thank you for your support! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

Hey y’all! So I ain’t gonna lie, I started this rant thinking it was going to be exclusively about Trump and his shiny new medal, but I had just come off of writing some pages and I guess I was still a little pumped up after that (you’ll definitely notice lol) because it turned into a very impassioned (tho probably dumb and misguided) rant about how dangerous Christianity and the like have been for our country. I hope you enjoy it! I know many folks have pined for the days before my therapy when I would lose my temper and almost stroke out on screen, and this may not be exactly that, but it’s perhaps as close as my semi-zen self can get 🤣More later Corey PS COME SEE ME AT THE PUNCHLINE IN ATL THIS SUNDAY! Like my work? Consider becoming a PAID subscriber! I’ll always let you read my stuff for free as I don’t like Paywalls, but if it adds value to your life then hey, I’ll take it! Don’t like recurring payments  but still wanna support? I take one time donations, PBS style, of any amount big or small on PayPal at [email protected] on Venmo @ButterCreamCoreyQR codes for both are below! Thank you for your support! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

Hey everybody! Today I took gummies and went to the park to write. I had a splendid time and thought I’d bring you on part of the journey with me using my picture glasses! Come see me at The Punchline in Atlanta, yall! More laterCorey This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

sorry, forgot to upload video on first post! Thanks to poop Doctor Kim Cusato for letting me knowWoke up this morning pretty hungover because we had a late one at the golf course. The time change turned our normal nine-hole competition into an 18-hole competition, and I forgot about all the variables I would need to consider when it came to my consumption. Fret not: I did not drive, nor did I continue to drink when I got home. That said, it doesn’t really matter these days. If I have four beers, it feels like I had 20, especially in my belly. Used to be all I got was the head hangovers, but now I get them everywhere. That’s a wonderful thing about aging. You hit your 30s and you think, OK, this will be about what it is, and then 40 comes creeping along and now you can’t even drink without throwing your shoulder out in the middle of the night somehow.This was only the third time I’ve drank since December 23, and I don’t feel guilty. We had a good time. I was responsible, and I didn’t continue once I got home, which was around 7 o’clock. I cooked dinner. I put my kid to bed. Me and my wife watched our stories, and we held hands. It was beautiful. That said, I would be totally arrogant if I didn’t acknowledge that that’s a slippery slope. I’ve always been someone who could stop drinking or stop doing whatever I want at any time and not do it for a long stretch—not even want to do it—but I do know that alcohol, alcoholism, and addiction are in my genes, and who knows when the right combination of mood and drug availability will knock me over the end zone that I’ve been racing toward my entire life. I must be careful.Luckily, once again, I remembered that being drunk was not at all worth it, and I shouldn’t have done it, and I should have just stuck to gummies. I think I’m someone who needs to relearn that lesson every two months to make me know that I’m on the right track. If I stayed completely sober, I wouldn’t remember what it was like to wake up hungover, and it would spoil me, so every now and then I must do a reset. This, of course, is what we call rationalization.That said, it’s been a lovely day. I’ve already recorded three podcasts, and I have three more podcasts left to record. They decided to have an impromptu birthday party for my son, whose actual birthday is next week, and a late birthday party for my wife, whose birthday was last week, tonight of all nights, knowing that Wednesday is a very busy time for me. Whatever—if that’s what they want, that’s what they want. But unfortunately, as a casualty of the job, I already had scheduled things to do, and if those things were just mine to do, I of course would cancel, but they are taking up other people’s time, and I have a responsibility to them. That’s what a lot of people don’t understand about what I do, especially those near me. All they know is that, yeah, technically I’m my own boss, which means that I should be able to take off whenever I want to. But what they don’t understand is the people behind this entire process. It’s true that I do podcasts and I can do them from the comfort of my own home, but I have a cohost and I have a producer! And therefore we have to do the podcast at a time that is convenient for all of us, and if I throw a stick in that, then it’s screwing up a whole assembly line here. That goes for touring: if you’re on a three-man tour and something comes up that your wife wants you to go to, you cancel, and the show doesn’t just screw you. It screws two other guys, and it screws people out of seeing what they really wanted to see.One of the reasons that I’m not touring as much—basically hardly at all—is that I do want to spend more time at home with my son, and I get to do that. I bet you it would be very difficult to find someone who spends more time with their son than I do. But because I work at home, that means sometimes I have to actually, you know, work at home, but people have this misguided notion that because what I do is comedy, it just all falls out of my mouth without any preparation whatsoever, and anytime they need me they can call me and I can drop whatever I’m doing because the creative process can’t be all that hard, can it?Lord, I’m venting. Let me go record the Putting on Airs podcast with Trae Crowder real quick, and I will come back and finish this diary and see if I’m in a completely different mode.OK. Things got way better! POA was fun, and then I shot 2 pilot episodes for a new project, and we had my son and wife’s birthday party!!I have attached a “day in the life” video. Might be boring to some, but some people enjoy that. It involves a park rant if that helps!!More later,CoreyOh btw I’m in Asheville tonight at The Eulogy!Like my work? Consider becoming a PAID subscriber! I’ll always let you read my stuff for free as I don’t like Paywalls, but if it adds value to your life then hey, I’ll take it! Don’t like recurring payments  but still wanna support? I take one time donations, PBS style, of any amount big or small on PayPal at [email protected] on Venmo @ButterCreamCoreyQR codes for both are below! Thank you for your support! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

Hey everybody!!! Hope you had a great week and have an even better weekend! My wife’s birthday was March 5th and she’s been on a girls trip to Florida ever since!I have attached a video to show how much harder it is for me to get s**t done when she’s gone 🤣Maybe she reads these from time to time and if so: babe, you are appreciated and I love you! enough old man videos for the week according to Bain…. I suppose we shall retire to our quarters and watch Moana!More later. Love yall. Corey This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

Hey everybody, hope you’re having a wonderful Wednesday so far! I assume that is not the case if you have checked the news. Although amongst the bad there was something funny, Apparently, the Iranians painted a helicopter on the ground, and we fired on it. Now look, there’s nothing about war that’s funny, But I do feel proud that Wiley coyote has been vindicated for some of his tactics. Clearly that Looney Tunes acme b******t actually works! I decided that to brighten your day perhaps you would like a video of our Pig Reba, a.k.a. Babe-raham Lincoln reciting the Gettysburg address. Just something stupid I thought of on my walk that I thought might bring you some joy and I know we all needed it right now. I am excited to be back from the road because it’s gotten me back in the swing of things. So I will not tell you what it is or when I will be done with it, I did write the first 2000 words of a new novella last night And I am so very excited to share it with you all. It’s going to be something that I have to try and sell, of course, But I will try and do a special deal with y’all. If I end up having to self publish, then, of course I can do whatever I want. Whether that be sending you a free PDF file of it with your purchase of the audiobook, Putting the first couple chapters on here for free, Or Hale maybe even better just give it to y’all and then just work on the honor system that you donate money to the cause. Regardless my point is y’all will not be treated like the general public when it comes to release lolI was going to say that, focusing on this has prevented me from writing any of my diary entries, but as I’m sitting here writing this, I realize that’s kind of what I’m doing. I’m recording an episode of the past Time with my dollop buddies, Gareth Reynolds and Dave Anthony later today so be on the lookout for that whenever it comes out! It’s so awesome that putting on errors and The dollop met each other in such an organic matter and has made for such good friendships and such good podcasts I will be in Asheville, North Carolina at the eulogy on March 12 and I will be in Atlanta at the Punchline on March 29. I hope you can come and see me. I say this all the time, but I think I mean it now… These will probably be my last tour days for at least a couple months. My travel schedule this year has been a mere fraction of what it was in the past yet I still can’t keep up mentally. I miss my son too much and it is very hard for me to focus on being funny when I’m sad. I will eventually have to figure it out because stand-up has always been the primary way that I make my living, but luckily, I have my sub stack and my podcast to carry me through while I’ll be the best dad that I can be. It also inspires me to work harder every day on the things that I can do at home to make money so that I can stay here more often which definitely was part of the inspiration for the Novela that I’m currently writing!As I’ve always said the more people who pay to subscribe to sub stack, The more often I will be able to stay at home and work on things for sub stack because I can afford to takeoff from the road so thank you so much to all of you who have already done thatI am in no way pressuring the rest of you because I know that money is tight. However, if my work does bring value to your life and you have a spare five dollars a month or you can skip a cup of coffee, consider becoming a paid subscriber or as always you can do a one time PBS style donation on my PayPal and Venmo, which are located belowI love you and enjoy our Pig reciting Abraham LincolnMore later Corey PayPal: [email protected]: @buttercreamcorey This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

Hey y’all. Took a walk and screamed into the void today also keep in mind I’m an uneducated man so take that into consideration lol. Grain of salt More later. Corey Like my work? Consider becoming a PAID subscriber! I’ll always let you read my stuff for free as I don’t like Paywalls, but if it adds value to your life then hey, I’ll take it! Don’t like recurring payments  but still wanna support? I take one time donations, PBS style, of any amount big or small on PayPal at [email protected] on Venmo @ButterCreamCoreyQR codes for both are below! Thank you for your support! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe

Whatever I started out wanting to say quickly changed courses because Bain had other ideas!!hope youre having a tremendous weekend and I look forward to seeing you all tomorrow!Thank you for subscribing! More later Corey This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe