Crooked Butterfly Podcast
by Brian Chontosh
This is me, sharing where I'm arriving in thoughts, perspectives, and ideas after a dynamic 21 years serving in the Marine Corps and wrestling with "Who Am I"; authentically, and Who Do I Want To Be" now that the military construct is not forcibly shadowing my life. I've found that Nature and tackling the physical & emotional challenges of ultra endurance adventuring provide more insight and clarity on the why's of my experiences and the where's that I can seek for continued personal growth.
Episodes
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Keeping Agency & Self Regulation
A lot going on in the world and life the last 2 weeks. Spent a good part of that time ruminating on a comment I received regarding the last episode.
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Trading Hate for Hate
Such a narrow narrow mindset.
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What's The Lesson In This For Me
Or maybe, there always doesn't have to be a lesson in everything all the time - so just flow a little bit.
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Doing 'Hard' Is Relative & Needs To Be Purposeful
Do Hard Things. Doing Hard for the sake of Hard is not really what it's about. It needs to be purposeful and is relative. Today's hard isn't the same as yesterdays. And the purpose may or may not be the same as it was. Just some thoughts as I am incredibly excited for The Spine UK in an way I…
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Slow Down & Think; In Circles A Little Bit More
Just some babble about not being so reactive with our opinions that it causes us to be irresponsible with our actions.
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Where Did All The Ladies & Gentlemen Go
Maybe it's just that I'm getting old and out of touch. Maybe not.
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Power Outages, Being OK, & a Good Old Fashioned Apocalypse
Happy New Year Everyone. Some thoughts leading into Christmas and the 2026 New Year.
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Headphones & Anonymity
The more I observe and talk about these things, the more I think I sound like my father.
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36 Hour Fasts
Sharing why I decided to start fasting once a week for 36 hours and where it took me.
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Grape Thieves Suck
I was checking in with myself around being so irritable, grumpy, negative, and complainy the past few days and made a commitment to auto-correct. Sharing my thought process and steps to unwind it all. It was working great until I went to Whole Foods...
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Creating Culture
I get asked quite a bit about how to create culture. The simple answer is you don't create it, you're living it. You don't start out with a blueprint of how to create a culture. You begin by living the values you've spent time thinking about and invested in upholding ruthlessly and consistently.
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Little Less for A Greater More
If you give a little of something you have to someone who needs a little of that something - the net value is greater. It might not work with the numbers & maths, but it's absolutely true for the things that matter most.
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Tribe, Community, Brotherhood...
Call it whatever you want, it still is so much more than can be described. You can't use loyalty to capture it and likely a distorted concept of loyalty would ruin what would be the greater part of the sentiment. Using our recent Annual Elk Camp Trip to try to build the picture of what I'm trying...
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Do You Have Any Idea Who You're Talking To?
I generally have to manage my first reaction & pop up thoughts anytime someone talks to me with their arms folded across their chest or hands on their hips. More so with strangers than with knowns, but even still. There's lot of suggested non verbal communication and room for misinterpretation…
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Giving Grace to the Human Condition
A little clean up from last week's ending. People are messy. Life is complex. I believe that most people are good and well intended. Driven be self-interest to varying degrees, but that doesn't necessarily mean we are wrong or bad. Giving some tolerance & allowance for each other and ourselves to...
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From Spam to 'Consider the Source'
Kind of a babble this evening talking about spam email & phone calls through feeling guilty or held hostage by those free return labels that come in the mail. Not sure what prompted me to start a little rant about shit talkers and gossip champs leading into 'consider the source'. But maybe…
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Holding the Middle Ground
I've been asked for my thoughts/opinions regarding the Pete Hegseth address in Quantico last week. I was reluctant to share for the better part of the last few days as I am with the Tim Kennedy Stolen Valor discussion. But here I am, not speaking about it politically and almost as a bit of a...
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Divided They Will Fall
Seems like the world is crazy and so full of ignorance, hate, & confusion. Not sure what it's all about, how we got here, or if even half of it isn't just sensationalized. The last few weeks I can't seem to shake the 'looping' on it all. In my head, when I try to break away from productivity...
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Let's Get Back After It
After a long break, I'm digging back into sharing stories and my internal dialogue about life, leadership, and random thoughts. During my break I haven't been just slacking off; Connor and I have been writing a book on Leadership and these Identity Circles I've been working on. I've been engaged...
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Persistence & the Wolf Spider
Some story telling and reflections that a Wolf Spider gave me regarding Resilience and Persistence. How we've let learned behaviors get transferred into areas of our lives where they don't belong...
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Thoughts from 1 Year of Sobriety
Wrapping up a year of sobriety and processing the take-aways that I couldn't have scripted going into the journey.
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Opinion, Advice, & Counsel
I'm at no shortage of receiving conversations about what I could, should, or need to being doing; personally & professionally. Most of the time I'm required to wonder if I'm getting opinion, advice, or counsel. What I'm finding as a common theme is that the more someone offers answers vs…
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Increased Capacity Doesn't Mean Increase Load Required
Coming out of the trough (again) after a few really hard weeks of trying to simply hold on. As I get better and better at managing/ navigating these times I somehow still keep finding myself back in them. After a recent procedure in Annapolis, I'm finding myself happier & more productive than…
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Some Thoughts & Growth from the TN Mile
Coming back from running a 40h marathon in TN and sharing some thoughts, observations, and where I'm focusing on personal growth.
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Self Care & Boundaries
Talking about the importance of Self Care not only for a leader but also as an example for their people. it's about creating an appropriate balance to keep operating levels for individuals at a high. We also introduce setting good boundaries for leaders and their relationships. Healthy boundaries...
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Expertry and Mastery
Connor and I exploring out loud trying to tease the subtleties & nuances that differentiate experts and masters. Not the sheer skill aspect, more of the 'soft' skills/ traits as it helps us inform our discussion on Leadership.
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Performance, Effort, Meritocracy & Mediocrity
We what happens when we reward; whether it's through praise, recognition, opportunity, award, etc. always results and absent effort? Same thing holds true in reverse. What are the unintended consequences on our audience that is excluded in the reward. It's not as simple as acknowledging everyone...
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Book Writing #4
Talking about how to listen. Truly listen with the intent to engage and understand vs respond. It's a fundamental step to earning trust & respect. "Seek first to understand and not respond." ~Stephen Covey
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Book Writing #3
Spending 90 min grinding aways at some more basics: Don't Lie, Cheat, or Steal; it's all Stealing, Grey Areas, Who am I circles, and a few more things and tying them into Being a Good Human Being as a core competency to Leadership.
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Book Writing #2
Digging in on "Being A Good Human Being". Specifically, common courtesy, decency, & respect and how it ties into "caring" as a key component of Leadership.
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Book Writing #1
Connor & I picked back up on our writing project. We are going to record our writing development sessions together; essentially the content we are discussing shaping for a leadership book. We figured we would also publish these as a podcast for a few reasons. 1. Help us stay honest and on task…
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Mentorship
Sharing a few short thoughts about what mentorship is and isn't. Not sure I'm really digging deep enough into it, but wanted to hear out loud the looping that was going on in my head while splitting some wood.
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4th Annual Fundraiser Thoughts
Some thoughts and reflections on this year's annual Event & Fundraiser. Looking to have a few guests to help polish out the perspectives and ideas to fully memorialize the event.
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Vulnerability, Courage, Tiny Beacons of Light, Championing
Recognizing all the good that's going on, however small or seemingly insignificant, is pretty much my first step when trying to settle the pressure in my head. Ultimately, this is just a sharing to get to the point that you just keep holding until a shiny beacon of light arrives. And if you live…
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Optimal Conditions vs the Hard Way
Largely some ramble as I sort through talking about what Optimal Conditions Only is and how it is going to lead into much of the Hard Way Project methodology. I've talked before about a Smarter Hard. Not the obstinate or ignorant 'Tommy Tuff Nutz' sort of hard. On the other end of the spectrum…
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Exploring "Winning" w/ Connor
I hadn't seen Connor but only once since returning from the Talisker and wanted to reconnect; we always share cool conversations together when 1:1. He gets me thinking in a different way sometimes when he asks his questions. So, after some Mexican food and a few beers we decided to take our...
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The Pain Cave
You don't look to go into the Pain Cave. And you don't thrive in the Pain Cave. If you think you do then you have never been in it, you've only waited in line or stood in the antechamber. Too many people pound their chests and use the Pain Cave chatter to make themselves and others think better…
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What is Winning
Sharing thoughts on how I define 'Winning' and why. Defining our terms so not to arbitrarily or accidentally dilute them so that they can inform our behavior, ultimately to support our intent towards reaching goals; desired results. This is the start at scratching out words for manuscript.
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Talisker Whisky Atlantic Challenge 2022
Starting up Season 5 after a limited contribution last year. It's been almost 3 weeks now since finishing up our row across the Atlantic Ocean. What an incredible experience and a pretty cool accomplishment. Sharing a bit of a long (not long enough to be the full) recall of much of the race.
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Being Busy, Essentialism, Know It Alls, & Wholesome TV
Just a bunch of stuff that I've had on my mind for the last 3 weeks.
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Self Care Thoughts
I 'm pretty sure we've all heard and/or used the phrase "An empty well can fill another's cup." Or something to that effect. I never really thought of my well ever really getting that close to dangerously low or empty. And if it was I never thought I would say out loud or to others that I just...
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Project Warman Stuff
Had an opportunity to talk to Connor to capture some thoughts on Diesel Days, Big Fish Fundraiser and a few random happenings after he processed the past few weeks with a handful of other participants on his own 'Project Warman Podcast'. I'm a fan of this young man.
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Wrestling w/ OK
The last few weeks/month I've been struggling with a lot of internal dialogue regarding whether I'm Ok: not as OK as I think I am and/or more OK than 'they' want or need me to be. I dunno. But, I promise, I'm not not OK and fundamentally the things I'm working through are normal and natural; not...
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Building Wealth
Finally recording some thoughts regarding a podcast I listened to a few months ago. Naval Ravikant - How to Build Wealth @Jorgenson's Soundbox Boyd Varty - The Lion Tracker's Guide to Life on @ The Tim Ferris Show
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Chasing Bigger, Better, More...
I've been thinking a lot about exploring capacity, experiences, and margins. Specifically in regards to these challenges and physical events I find myself endeavoring towards. A sense of adventure that keeps getting greater and greater. Maybe my appetite is nearing full, for now, and I want to...
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Back in the Saddle
First podcast in a while; January. Felt good to find this again and just some ramble about tasks and being busy. Committed to digging in again and not falling into my own trap of moving goalposts.
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A Veteran Entitlement Conversation
Just a little conversation how I see things when it comes to thinking we're special.
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New Year & Holiday Reflection
Not sure what the New Year will bring in regards to episodes, but I guarantee they will be authentic.
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Essential Ingredient Required for Change
A massive ramble as I am working on a couple of things still in my head. Necessity or Genuine Desire as an essential requirement for true change? Then somehow I ended up on Informed vs Influenced which is really bothering me as I navigate social media, ignorance, manipulative news sources......
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Courage to be Yourself
Pulling from the IG post yesterday to elaborate a little. Why feign to fit in when it creates a dissonance inside yourself, assumes a lot about what other's intentions & fancy, and over time increases in effort to upkeep? Just be You, for whoever that You is right now, endeavoring to be safe…
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About this show
This is me, sharing where I'm arriving in thoughts, perspectives, and ideas after a dynamic 21 years serving in the Marine Corps and wrestling with "Who Am I"; authentically, and Who Do I Want To Be" now that the military construct is not forcibly shadowing my life. I've found that Nature and tackling the physical & emotional challenges of ultra endurance adventuring provide more insight and clarity on the why's of my experiences and the where's that I can seek for continued personal growth.
Hosted by
Brian Chontosh