PODCAST · society
Delete Your Defaults
by Aaron Bieber and Rosa Carson
A show about hacking our social autopilot.
Episodes
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Forgiveness
In this episode, we explore forgiveness as a practice of freedom: letting go of resentment, taking responsibility for what’s actually yours, and loosening the stories of blame and judgment that keep us stuck. We talk about forgiving other people, forgiving past versions of ourselves, why...
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The Best
What does it even mean to be “the best” when life is multidimensional, subjective, and constantly changing? In this episode, we unpack the ways our obsession with bestness feeds perfectionism and self-criticism — and how redefining “best” for yourself can make room for more play, resilience,...
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Faith
What is faith when you let go of religion, certainty, and the idea that everything is going according to a predetermined plan? In this episode, Rosa and Aaron explore faith as trust in yourself, in life, and in the adventure of not knowing. We talk about friendly versus neutral universes, the…
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Enough
What if you didn’t have to earn your enoughness? In this episode, Rosa and Aaron explore the ways a sense of “not enough” can drive overwork, anxious attachment, perfectionism, blame, and the constant search for external validation. We unpack the difference between fault and responsibility, why...
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Safety
In this episode, Rosa and Aaron explore the difference between chasing safety in the outside world and cultivating it within yourself. From anxious text messages and people-pleasing to conflict avoidance and self-criticism, we unpack how many of us mistake the familiar for the safe—and how that...
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Rules
Join us as we explore the strange, slippery nature of rules: which ones actually matter, which ones are just habits disguised as truth, and why so much of modern life depends on collective agreement more than objective reality. Wander with us through speeding in Boston, jaywalking, airplane seat...
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Disappointment
Disappointment isn’t the problem—avoiding it is. In this episode, we explore why disappointment is actually a signal: it shows you what you care about, what you want, and where you’re still making things mean something about you. When you turn it into a verdict on your worth, it sticks. When…
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Wonder
What if the unknown wasn’t something to fear—but something to meet with curiosity? In this episode, we explore wonder as a powerful antidote to control, fear, and self-importance. From “what’s the best that could happen?” to loosening your grip on outcomes, we unpack how wonder opens new...
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Courage
The story suggests that courage feels powerful, but we bust that myth in this conversation. We talk about why acting in the presence of fear is the real definition of courage, how avoidance quietly shrinks your life, and why expanding your capacity to feel discomfort is the gateway to freedom.…
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Demons
For our April 1 episode, we took a deep dive into KPop Demon Hunters — the absurd, hilarious, surprisingly moving movie that gave us demon boy bands, soul-sucking pop anthems, six-eyed magpies in tiny hats, and one of our favorite metaphors in a long time. We walk through the whole film, from...
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Freedom
If you’ve been exhausting yourself trying to control what can’t be controlled, this episode offers a gentler, braver path: cultivate self-trust, release the performance, and discover what becomes possible when you’re finally free to be yourself. We unpack the illusion of control and why…
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Perspective
In this episode, we explore perspective—the invisible spectacles you’re wearing every moment of your life. From snowy silence and the subtle sound of hot water changing temperature, to conflict, politics, business growth, and even God’s-eye view, we unpack how where you stand determines what you...
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Doubt
Doubt isn’t evidence that something is wrong with you; it’s often a sign that you’re standing at the edge of growth, exposure, and transformation. Doubt is a signal worth listening to. In this episode we explore doubt as a fear-based safety strategy—tightening the body and spinning the mind. From...
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Control
Let's dismantle one of our most seductive illusions: that we’re in control, and that that's what makes us safe. In this episode, we explore how control, expectations, disappointment, and safety are intertwined. We get into what we don’t control (almost everything) from what we do influence...
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Love
What if love isn’t a feeling, but a verb—a set of actions, choices, and ways of being? In this episode, we take on one of the most loaded words in our culture—love—and get underneath the defaults our culture hands us about what it is and how it's supposed to look. We explore reorienting toward…
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Curiosity
In this episode we explore curiosity as a way of being, as a practice that softens defensiveness, loosens certainty, and reopens the doors your nervous system has been calling “walls.” We talk about how our minds invent “facts” in order to maintain the comfortable illusion of certainty, why being...
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Perfectionism
In this episode, we pull apart “perfection” from multiple angles: the rigid, human version that freezes us in place, and the spacious, spiritual sense that everything is already perfect as it is. We track how perfectionism shows up as proficiency fatalism (“they’re so good, why should I even...
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Incentives
In this episode, we look under the hood of incentives—the seen and unseen forces that quietly steer our choices. We explore explicit rewards (bonuses, treats, “if I do X I get Y”) and the subtler, socially programmed incentives that keep us car-brained, over-consuming, lonely, and stuck on the...
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Expectations
In this episode, we unpack the slippery power of expectations—how they can motivate, manipulate, cheer or demotivate. We tease apart expectations vs. ambitions vs. intentions, explore why unspoken expectations are The Worst, and offer body-based ways to feel the difference between attachment and...
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Discomfort
What if discomfort isn’t something to avoid—but an invitation into expansion, aliveness, and self-trust? In this episode, Rosa and Aaron dive into the strange, surprising terrain of discomfort—anticipation, dread, exhilaration, growth—and what it means to meet it with curiosity instead of...
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Communication
In this episode, Rosa and Aaron unpack why most “communication” isn’t—yet. We explore trading “How are you?” for openings that spark real connection, explore why “Does that make sense?” falls flat, and share practical moves like reflection and slowing down to speed up. Along the way we touch on...
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Full Contact Living
If you’re ready for friendships (and a life) that can hold truth, tenderness, and growth—this one’s for you. Episode snapshot Rosa and Aaron unpack what we call full-contact friendship: relationships where we stop performing, tell the truth, and meet each other in the gritty, generous middle....
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Feeling(s)
For all that we live in a world that pretends we’re rational beings doing rational things, feelings drive everything in our lives, or block everything. Developing the skill of feeling our feelings, allowing them to move, expressing them healthily determines the quality of our relationships, our...
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Vulnerability
This episode explores vulnerability as the core to full contact living, how avoiding vulnerability is a way of trying to be in control and stay safe. But what is safety? Protecting ourselves from life means protecting ourselves from living. Vulnerability is the courage of giving ourselves...
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Authenticity
People are craving authenticity more and more – both expressing it and being around others who are embodying it. We explore our own challenges to being authentically self expressed and our experiences getting in touch with it. We mention a few resources! Brene Brown and her concept of the Midlife...
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How to Appreciate Your Life
What humans are capable of is so fucking awesome. Why don't we lean into more of that and less efficiency and making money? What does it mean to live fully? How do we be present to enjoy our lives? We explore the value of boredom, and Aaron commits to going on a boredom quest. We discuss the...
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Be Kind but Not Nice
In this episode, we explore what it really means to be kind, the cost of being nice, what it means to be real, and what’s the deal with so much fakeness these days? We mention these pieces: Kim Scott: Radical Candor: Fully Revised & Updated Edition: Be a Kick-Ass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity...
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Creative Process (you have one!)
All humans – including you! – are creative. And we all have creative processes, though we aren't always aware of what they are. In this conversation, we explore our creative processes, and barriers and facilitators to creativity. We mention a bunch of people, including: Gary Bernhardt of Destroy...
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What Is Your Life For?
In this episode, we explore the concept of work life balance, the definition of success, and the foundational question of what is your life for? We mention a bunch of books, podcasts, and people! Here they are: Douglas Rushkoff and his Team Human podcast Paved Paradise: How Parking Explains the...
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Is It the End?
We explore endings, beginnings, their cocreative nature, and how we relate to them. Why is it easier to feel the pain of loss than the delight of gain? In this episode, we refer to: Jim Rohn, motivational speaker breathwork for metabolizing stress and supporting embodied health and wellness Sahil...
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Unsustainable
Unsustainable is just another way of saying "losing strategy". We explore layers of unsustainability in our current modern life and expansive reframes for optimism. Resources mentioned: Nebula video platform Team Human by Douglas Rushkoff Favorite charities mentioned: Transformative Change Direct...
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Truth (or: you woke up today, you might as well be a badass)
This episode explores the idea of truth, whether objective truth exists, and how to relate to uncertainty. We cover ground from spirituality to politics. Books, services, and other sources we mention in this episode include: Nickel and Dimed: On Not Getting by in America by Barbara Ehrenreich...
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Us vs. Them
Us vs. Them, and can we overcome our social programming to become wise? How do we engage with difference while respecting each others' humanity? What do we do with the messiness of reality, where multiple people can disagree and be right at the same time? Books that are relevant to this...
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Trained Incompetence
What is the point of your life? How our trained incompetence serves a way of life that's not serving us. We mention the book Bullshit Jobs by David Graeber and his article on the same topic, On the Phenomenon of Bullshit Jobs: A Work Rant. and the concept of Vibe Coding.
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Delete Your Defaults have?
Delete Your Defaults currently has 34 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Delete Your Defaults about?
A show about hacking our social autopilot.
How often does Delete Your Defaults release new episodes?
Delete Your Defaults has 34 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
Where can I listen to Delete Your Defaults?
You can listen to Delete Your Defaults on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Delete Your Defaults?
Delete Your Defaults is created and hosted by Aaron Bieber and Rosa Carson.
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