Excellence Above Talent Podcast
by Aaron Thomas
The State of Man Is in Crisis—It’s Time for a Conversation. The Excellence Above Talent podcast was born from pain, loss, and a deep need for change. - Men are 3.6 times more likely to die by suicide than women. - Men commit the majority of violence in the U.S., including domestic abuse and sexual assault. - 90% of the prison population consists of men. These are not just statistics—they represent broken families, lost lives, and a cycle of harm and abuse that must end. As a BIPP (Batterer’s Intervention and Prevention Program) Director for four years, I’ve had countless conversations with men—men who believed abuse was necessary, men who didn’t even realize they were abusers. What I learned is that men want to talk, but they have no safe space to do so. Society teaches men to suppress their struggles, to avoid vulnerability, and to uphold a toxic version of manhood. But silence is destroying us. The Excellence Above Ta
Episodes
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Who Are You Living For When Motivation Fades?
Send us Fan Mail We talk straight to young men and grown men who feel behind, worn out, or stuck, and we name perseverance as a daily choice when life stops going to plan. We honor Cavione and Greenie, share how their lives still shape ours, and offer practical ways to keep going while asking for...
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The Unloaded Gun And The Loaded Questions
Send us Fan Mail Knowing you’re going to die someday can either wake you up or wear you down, and I’ll be honest, I’ve felt both. We talk about the specific heaviness of trying to stay engaged with life when you can’t stop thinking about the end, and why that’s not the same thing as wanting to…
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What Happens When A Nation Forgets Its Own Violence
Send us Fan Mail Black Wall Street is a phrase most people recognize, but few can describe the everyday Greenwood that existed before it was attacked. We start with the neighborhood as it was: a Black district in Tulsa with schools, professionals, workers, local businesses, and institutions built...
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Be Better!!!
Send us Fan Mail Stuck can feel like failure, especially when you’ve done the “right” things and life still won’t move. I’m talking about the kind of season where you relocate, change careers, apply everywhere, and still wake up wondering what you’re supposed to do next. If you’re trying to be a...
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How Watermelon And Fried Chicken Became Racist Symbols
Send us Fan Mail We break down how racist stereotypes get created, why they stick, and what history gets erased when a joke becomes “truth.” We connect the origins of food stereotypes, modern data on assistance and arrests, and the mental health pressure of having to prove you are the exception.…
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What If Dignity Matters Even For People You Dislike
Send us Fan Mail Silence can look like strength, but it often starts as fear. I’m back from a short reset with a new direction for Excellence Above Talent: one week we go deep on men’s mental health, accountability, and how we show up, and the next week we dig into Black American history that...
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Stop Trying To Be Everyone’s Hero
Send us Fan Mail We wrestle with the fear that hits when a move or life transition makes us feel unseen, unneeded, and disconnected. We draw a hard line between healthy responsibility and the dangerous belief that our worth depends on being useful. • why men need a place where our presence has...
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Survival Mode Kept You Alive, But Is It Keeping You From Living?
Send us Fan Mail Survival mode can keep us alive in one season and quietly steal our peace in the next. We unpack how hypervigilance forms, what it costs our relationships and identity, and how discernment helps us learn when the battle is truly over. • redefining strength from constant readiness...
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How High Functioning Men Hide Deep Pain
Send us Fan Mail We zoom in on what a man’s life can look like before anyone calls it a mental health problem and why we keep missing the buildup until it turns into a crisis. I challenge the idea that productivity equals peace, and I lay out the “check engine” signs that should push us toward...
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What If Being Overlooked Is Your Freedom
Send us Fan Mail We get honest about what it feels like to be overlooked and how chasing recognition can quietly turn into a lifelong audition. I share how the move to California forced me to slow down, face old wounds, and choose excellence without handing my self-worth to other people. •…
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PEACE Feels UNCOMFORTABLE When CHAOS Is All You Know
Send us Fan Mail I’m learning that when your life is built on dysfunction, peace can feel suspicious, even when nothing is wrong. I share my story, the move to California, and the hard questions I’m using to stop self-sabotage and let peace lead. • growing up around chaos and carrying survival...
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Men Behind The Mission Pt.4 - The Man Who Showed Up
Send us Fan Mail We finish the Men Behind The Mission series with Abishai, the kind of man who steps forward when nobody else does. We connect his story to men’s mental health and brotherhood, because isolation is not strength and even strong men need support. • Abishai as the model of…
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The Men Behind the Mission Part 3: Why The Small Things You Protect Matter
Send us Fan Mail Everybody ran, and the “field” looked laughably small. That’s why Shamma’s story hits so hard. We’re talking about 2 Samuel 23:11–12, where one man stands in the middle of a field of lentils while the Philistines attack and the soldiers flee and God brings the victory. If you’ve...
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The Men Behind The Mission Part 2
Send us Fan Mail We talk about Eleazar, the overlooked warrior in 2 Samuel 23, and why his decision to stand when everyone else retreats is a model for perseverance and courage. We connect that ancient fight to modern struggles like anxiety, depression, loneliness, addiction, and the pressure men...
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The Men Behind The Mission Part 1
Send us Fan Mail Most of us say we want to be “great,” but what we really want is to be seen. That’s why the men with a few lines in the Bible can teach us more than the celebrities we can name. We kick off a new series, The Men Behind the Mission, and start with Benaiah, a man who never becomes...
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You Are Already Enough For What God Called You To Do
Send us Fan Mail That “I’m not enough” feeling can show up on your best week, right when everything looks fine from the outside. We sit with that tension and name what a lot of men carry in silence: the fear that your success is fragile, that people are just being nice, and that one mistake will...
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What If Honesty Is The Real Measure Of Manhood
Send us Fan Mail Some of the most broken men you know look like the most reliable ones. I’m talking about the veteran who shows up, the coach who keeps encouraging others, the husband and leader who gets it done, and the friend who always says, “I’m good.” I’m also talking about what people don’t...
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What If Obedience Matters More Than Being Understood
Send us Fan Mail We step back from the noise and talk to the man who feels alone, pressured, and unseen while trying to grow into his best self. We break down why chasing approval crushes men’s mental health and why obedience matters more than being understood. • taking a reset after a long run…
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You’re Not a Victim of Everything!!
Send us Fan Mail We close the 24-week series with a blunt truth: ego turns accountability into a threat and keeps men stuck in blame. We break down how ownership creates freedom, why victim mentality weakens manhood, and what it takes to actually change. • the difference between accountability…
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Congratulations, You Played Yourself Today
Send us Fan Mail You can be “the strong one” and still be falling apart. When we keep performing confidence, toughness, success, and even spirituality, we may look put together but feel strangely numb, lonely, and tired. We’re not always exhausted because life is hard. We’re exhausted because...
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You Can’t Blame Your Past And Keep Hurting People
Send us Fan Mail We wrap our series with a blunt look at how unhealed pain turns into patterns that damage relationships and get handed down to kids. We challenge ourselves to stop confusing “normal” with “healthy” and to take full responsibility for the work of healing. • why unhealthy behavior...
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Habits Build Futures
Send us Fan Mail Your future isn’t waiting for one big break it’s being built by what you do on an ordinary day when nobody is watching. We’re talking about habits, discipline, and the quiet choices that shape a man’s direction over time, for better or worse. If you’ve ever felt stuck…
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You Will Always Fall Back To Who You Believe You Are
Send us Fan Mail You can grind for a month, hit a goal, and still end up right back in the same old habits the moment pressure hits. That’s not because you’re broken or “just not disciplined.” It’s because your identity is doing exactly what it was built to do: pull you back to what feels…
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What If The Thing You Avoid Is You
Send us Fan Mail Avoidance is a sneaky kind of self-sabotage because it feels like relief. We tell ourselves we’re keeping the peace, staying calm, or waiting for a better time, but what we’re really doing is choosing comfort now and paying for it later. In Week 19 of our 24-week series, we get...
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Awareness Without Action Keeps You Stuck
Send us Fan Mail If you’ve ever said “I know I need to change” and then watched yourself do the exact same thing again, this one is for you. We get honest about the difference between awareness and real growth and why so many men stay stuck in the space between knowing and doing. The truth is...
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Intent Vs Impact
Send us Fan Mail “I didn’t mean to” sounds harmless until you realize how often it becomes a wall between you and the people you love. We get real about intent versus impact and why so many men feel misunderstood while their spouse, partner, or kids feel unheard. Intent lives in our head, but...
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How Men Break The Shame Cycle And Repair Harm
Send us Fan Mail We talk about how men get trapped when we confuse accountability with shame, then wonder why the same harmful patterns keep showing up in our relationships. We break down how to own abusive behavior without turning our worst choices into our identity, so we can actually change...
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What If The Real Strength Is Saying What You Feel
Send us Fan Mail We name the quiet forms of emotional manipulation that many people excuse as normal relationship conflict and show how they function as control. We also lay out what healthy communication sounds like so we can rebuild trust and create a safer space at home. • emotional…
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What If The Real Danger Is In The Story?
Send us Fan Mail I’m breaking down how men justify abusive behavior and how those stories keep the cycle of violence alive. I share the phrases we hide behind, the ego and comfort we protect, and what real accountability sounds like when we finally stop blaming everyone else. • abuse as more than...
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What If The Hardest Part Of Love Is Accountability
Send us Fan Mail We break down the cycle of violence and why abusive relationships can feel good again right before the pattern returns. We name what it takes for men to stop repeating harm, replace excuses with ownership, and build real change that shows up in daily behavior. • the cycle of…
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Choose Influence Over Control Or Lose What Matters
Send us Fan Mail We unpack how abuse often begins with power and control rather than violence, and how fear and insecurity fuel cycles that erode trust. We draw a clear line between leadership and control, share personal lessons, and offer practical steps to build influence instead of dominance.…
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What Kind Of Father Are Your Reactions Raising
Send us Fan Mail We challenge the myth that leadership at home is control and show how stability, humility, and consistency create safety for partners and kids. We share tools to replace fear-based habits with influence, emotional labor, and predictable, calm discipline. • redefining leadership…
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If Sex Needs Pressure, It Isn’t Love
Send us Fan Mail We confront how entitlement, porn, and unspoken expectations corrode trust and safety in sex, and why consent must be enthusiastic, ongoing, and freely given. We own past harm, define coercion clearly, and lay out how healthy sexual leadership sounds and feels. • unlearning...
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What If Being Right Is Why You’re Lonely
Send us Fan Mail We dig into why men get defensive, how that reaction kills connection, and the practical skills that make listening feel safe at home. We share language you can use today to validate without surrendering your point and lead with calm under pressure. • what defensiveness really...
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Healthy Communication For Men Who Were Never Taught How
Send us Fan Mail We break down why men confuse control with communication and how to replace anger, avoidance, and shutdown with calm, clear dialogue. Practical tools show how to negotiate needs, reduce defensiveness, and build connection through listening, validation, and repair. • redefining...
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You Cannot Heal What You Broke Overnight
Send us Fan Mail We explore how men rebuild trust and respect after emotional harm and why safety, not speed, must guide the process. We share practical steps to shift from demanding forgiveness to becoming dependable, predictable, and calm under pressure. • how trust breaks through control…
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Power Seeks Fear; Leadership Creates Safety
Send us Fan Mail We explore how non-threatening behavior turns homes from tense to safe, and why real strength shows in calm, controlled reactions. We share practical tools for regulation, repair, and leading without dominating so trust can replace fear. • redefining strength as self-control •...
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Silent Feelings, Loud Damage
Send us Fan Mail We explore how emotional avoidance becomes the hidden engine of abuse and why anger is often a mask for shame, fear, and rejection. We share tools for naming feelings, building responsibility, and guiding young men toward honest expression. • why avoidance, not anger, drives...
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You Can’t Change What You Refuse To Admit
Send us Fan Mail We expose the seven common lies men tell themselves that protect ego and enable abuse, then show how accountability, consistency and humility rebuild trust. Practical reflections and clear next steps guide listeners to lead themselves before trying to lead at home. • abuse begins...
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My Ego Tried To Win The Argument And Lost The Marriage
Send us Fan Mail We challenge men to drop excuses, own their choices, and rebuild trust with consistent action instead of repeated apologies. A personal story of divorce leads into practical steps for full accountability, emotional regulation, and leading your home without ego. • growth begins…
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Abuse Is A Choice: Here’s What Really Drives It And How Men Can Change
Send us Fan Mail We unpack why abuse is a learned choice rooted in fear, control, and missing emotional skills, and we map a path toward accountability and healthier leadership. We share the “button” concept, name nonphysical abuse, and end with three reflection questions to drive change. • the...
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Owning The Truth About Abuse
Send us Fan Mail The hardest part isn’t admitting what happened; it’s admitting why. We open up about how abuse forms long before it turns physical, in the quiet moments where insecurity, fear, and ego go unchallenged and entitlement takes the wheel. You’ll hear why reactions are still choices…
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The Burden of Unspoken Struggles: Why Men Hide Their Pain
Send us Fan Mail Men often fight battles in silence, not because no one cares but because they've been conditioned to suppress vulnerability and avoid appearing weak. The pressure to maintain a facade of strength creates a dangerous cycle where unaddressed struggles transform into destructive...
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The Shadow Warriors: When Grinding Feels Invisible
Send us Fan Mail Aaron Thomas shares his powerful journey from contemplating suicide ten years ago to finding purpose in speaking openly about men's mental health. Breaking the silence surrounding men's struggles, he emphasizes how isolation breeds dangerous thoughts and how authentic…
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Are You Leading From Behind? Time to Reclaim Your Year
Send us Fan Mail We're halfway through 2025, and it's time for a brutal reality check about whether we're becoming the men we promised to be or just recycling excuses while our lives remain unchanged. • Six months gone that we can never get back • Every day offers a chance to change our story and...
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Mind Games: Your Brain's Favorite Hobby Is Lying to You
Send us Fan Mail Confronting the lies we tell ourselves requires recognizing the deceptive voice in our heads and actively replacing falsehoods with truth to renew our minds and find inner peace. • The voice in your head that claims to know everything is often lying to you • This internal voice…
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Choose Your Battles: Fighting for Growth vs. Fighting to Impress
Send us Fan Mail Have you ever felt trapped between the person you've been and the person you're meant to become? That uncomfortable space of transformation is exactly where Aaron Thomas finds himself. Aaron opens his heart about the mental struggle he's been experiencing while trying to deepen…
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Are You Killing Yourself to Keep Everyone Else Alive?
Send us Fan Mail We challenge the dangerous myth that men must sacrifice their mental health to care for their families. Sharing my own experience with suicidal thoughts from trying to be everyone's hero while neglecting myself, we explore how this common pattern leads men to silent suffering and...
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Dangerous Through Growth: Embracing Who You Really Are
Send us Fan Mail Aaron Thomas dives deep into three transformative quotes that have become guideposts in his journey toward authentic manhood. With refreshing honesty, he explores the struggle many men face—wanting to succeed independently while knowing deep down that meaningful achievement...
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Mom's Got This: Parenting Sons in a Fatherless Home
Send us Fan Mail Esmeralda shares her perspective on raising two teenage boys as a single mother and discusses her views on what makes a good man in today's world. • Being a man comes with unique challenges like societal expectations to be the provider, to be tough, and to take on numerous...
About this show
The State of Man Is in Crisis—It’s Time for a Conversation.
The Excellence Above Talent podcast was born from pain, loss, and a deep need for change.
- Men are 3.6 times more likely to die by suicide than women. - Men commit the majority of violence in the U.S., including domestic abuse and sexual assault. - 90% of the prison population consists of men.
These are not just statistics—they represent broken families, lost lives, and a cycle of harm and abuse that must end.
As a BIPP (Batterer’s Intervention and Prevention Program) Director for four years, I’ve had countless conversations with men—men who believed abuse was necessary, men who didn’t even realize they were abusers. What I learned is that men want to talk, but they have no safe space to do so.
Society teaches men to suppress their struggles, to avoid vulnerability, and to uphold a toxic version of manhood. But silence is destroying us.
The Excellence Above Ta
Hosted by
Aaron Thomas