PODCAST · health
Gay Therapy LA with Ken Howard, LCSW, CST
by Ken Howard, LCSW, CST
Gay Therapy LA with Ken Howard, LCSW, CSTA gay men's mental health, sex, and relationships podcastIf you've ever wished there were a therapy-informed podcast just for gay men, you're in the right place.I'm Ken Howard, LCSW, CST – a gay men's specialist psychotherapist, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, Certified Psychiatric Social Worker, longtime LGBTQ+ advocate, and gay men's life/career/relationship coach with over 32 years' experience working almost exclusively with gay male individuals, couples, and polycules.On Gay Therapy LA, you'll get more than clichés or recycled pop psychology. This is a deep-dive podcast for gay men's mental health, sex, and relationships—rooted in real clinical experience with thousands of clients over three decades.We talk about what actually shows up in gay men's lives:Mental health for gay men: anxiety, depression, trauma, shame, internalized homophobiaGay men's relationships: monogamy, open relationships, consensual non-monogamy, polycules, jealou
Episodes
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Aging Without a Blueprint: Gay Men, Retirement, and What Comes Next
Many gay men prepare financially for retirement, yet still feel uncertain about what they are retiring into. Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explores the "blueprint gap": reaching later life without an inherited picture of what a satisfying retirement should contain. Traditional retirement narratives…
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The Quiet Ambivalence of Open Relationships in Long-Term Gay Couples
What happens when a long-term gay couple is no longer fully monogamous—but neither partner feels entirely comfortable calling the relationship open? Ken Howard, LCSW, CST explores the emotional territory between monogamy and consensual non-monogamy: relationships that change gradually, sexual...
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Five Love Languages Reimagined for Gay Men, Part 2: Gifts, Touch & Attachment
In Part 2 of Five Love Languages Reimagined for Gay Men, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST explores why receiving gifts and physical touch can mean far more than they seem. Gifts may communicate that your partner stayed in your mind; touch can offer comfort, safety, and belonging without needing to lead to...
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Five Love Languages for Gay Men: What They Really Mean (Part 1)
The five love languages can be useful—but for gay men, they often carry deeper psychological meaning. In Part 1 of this two-part episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, reimagines the familiar framework through the lived experiences of gay men. He explores why words of affirmation can be about being…
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Why High-Achieving Gay Men Struggle to Feel Loved
Many successful gay men appear to have everything: thriving careers, financial security, meaningful accomplishments, and lives that others admire. Yet beneath that success, many quietly wonder whether they are truly lovable—or simply valued for what they achieve. In this episode, Ken Howard…
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Why Am I Never Invited? The Hidden Psychology of Social Exclusion Among Gay Men
Have you ever opened Instagram only to discover your friends got together without you? Within seconds, your mind may begin asking painful questions: Did they forget me? Did they not want me there? What's wrong with me? In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explores why social exclusion hurts so...
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Gay Men and Self-Abandonment: The Quiet Ways We Leave Ourselves Behind
Many gay men believe their struggles stem from anxiety, loneliness, dating frustrations, low self-esteem, or difficult relationships. But underneath many of these challenges lies a quieter and often overlooked pattern: self-abandonment. In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explores how gay men...
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Why Trump Feels So Powerful: The Psychology of Authoritarian Certainty
Why does Donald Trump continue to inspire such fierce loyalty among millions of Americans? In this special episode of the Gay Therapy LA Podcast, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, steps outside his usual focus on gay men's mental health to examine a broader psychological question: what emotional needs does...
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Why Can't I Stay Hard Anymore? A Gay Man's Guide to Erectile Dysfunction
Why can't I stay hard anymore? Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explores the real causes of erectile dysfunction in gay men—and what actually helps beyond pills, panic, and self-criticism.
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Why Successful Gay Male Professionals Still Feel Off — And What Actually Changes It
Many successful gay male professionals reach a point where something doesn't quite add up. Your career works. You're capable, driven, and functioning at a high level. And yet, something still feels off—especially in relationships, connection, or your sense of ease outside of work. In this…
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Beyond Insight (Part 2): What Gay Men Can Do to Finally Create Real Change
In Part 1 of this series, we explored why insight alone isn't enough to create real change in gay men's lives — even for those who are highly self-aware, emotionally intelligent, and deeply reflective. So what actually does work? In Part 2, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, moves beyond theory and into...
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Beyond Insight (Part 1): Why Gay Men Stay Stuck Even After Therapy and Self-Help
Many gay men already understand themselves surprisingly well. They've read the books, listened to the podcasts, explored their childhood patterns, and can explain their shame, anxiety, trauma, or relationship struggles in detail. So why do so many still feel stuck? In Part 1 of this two-part...
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Gay Men and How to Build Real Friendships in Adulthood
Why does it feel so hard to build real friendships as a gay man in adulthood? You meet people. You have good conversations. There's even mutual interest. But somehow, nothing turns into something consistent or meaningful. In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST explains why this isn't about a lack...
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When a Gay Man's Career Feels at Risk: False Accusations & Workplace Anxiety
What happens when a routine workplace situation suddenly turns into a formal concern—or worse, an accusation? Many successful gay men are finding themselves navigating high-stakes anxiety around reputation, HR processes, and professional risk. In this episode, Ken Howard explores the…
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Gay Couples in Business Together: Power, Competition, and the Hidden Cost to Intimacy
What happens when gay couples mix love and business? Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, examines how gay men sharing a business can intensify power struggles, communication issues, and sexual disconnection.
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Why So Many Gay Men Lose Their Drive in Midlife (No One Talks About This)
Ken Howard, LCSW, CST explores why many gay men experience a shift in ambition after 40—and why it's not burnout, but a natural developmental transition. He explains what's changing psychologically and how to navigate this stage with clarity and purpose.
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Why So Many Successful Gay Men Feel Unsettled in Midlife
Why do many successful gay men feel unsettled in midlife? In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, long-term specialist in therapy for gay men, explains how midlife restlessness is often a normal developmental transition — bringing new questions about meaning, relationships, sexuality, and purpose…
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Gay Men and Immediate Coping Tips for a Breakup
Breakups can feel emotionally destabilizing—especially in the immediate aftermath, when routines collapse and emotions swing unpredictably. In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST shares practical, therapist-informed coping strategies specifically for gay men navigating the first difficult weeks...
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Why So Many Gay Men Feel On Edge Right Now—and What Actually Helps
Many gay men feel persistently on edge in today's prolonged climate of political and social uncertainty. In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST explores how chronic stress affects the nervous system—and what actually helps gay men stay grounded, clear, and emotionally steady when reassurance…
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Gay Men and Practical Tips for Ed
Struggling with ED issues and want practical tips that actually help—not vague advice or just "take a pill"? In this episode, gay men's sex therapist Ken Howard, LCSW, CST shares clear, experience-based strategies for coping with ED, reducing performance anxiety, and staying sexually confident....
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Gay Men on the Autism Spectrum: Dating, Intimacy, and Being Understood
Experienced specialist gay therapist Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, examines neurodivergence, autism spectrum, dating, and intimacy in gay men, offering practical guidance for neurodivergent men and their partners.
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The Hidden Stages of a Gay Man's Career
Careers don't develop all at once — they unfold through psychological phases across the lifespan. And for gay men, that path often looks very different from the one straight men inherit. In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, maps the developmental stages of a gay man's career — from early...
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Heated Rivalry: A Gay Therapist's Take on Romance, Fetishization & Visibility
A gay therapist, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, examines the Heated Rivalry phenomenon—exploring why gay romance has gone mainstream, where visibility becomes fetishization, and what this cultural moment really means for gay men's identity, safety, and mental health.
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It's OK to Hate the Holidays: Coping Skills for Gay Men
Holidays can intensify loneliness, family tension, and emotional stress for many gay men. Therapist Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explains why it's OK to hate the holidays and shares practical coping strategies—plus how the new year can become a turning point instead of a repeat.
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Gay Men and Non-Monetary Wealth: Redefining What It Means to Feel Rich
What if real wealth isn't about money? In this episode, I explore the non-monetary wealth many gay men build over a lifetime—relationships, culture, wisdom, sexuality, and self-acceptance—and why it matters more than we think.
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Why Gay Men Can't Stop Scrolling: The Real Reasons Behind Compulsive Phone Use
Why gay men struggle with compulsive phone use -- and how anxiety, comparison, and validation loops fuel it. Learn tools to heal and reconnect with real life.
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Gay Men and Wicked: For Good
Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, gay men's specialist therapist, discusses the new movie, "Wicked: For Good" and its implications for gay men, in themes about silencing political voices, seeing things for what they are, and how to stay resilient during Trump 2.0 America.
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Gay Men and Psychiatric Medications: Functions, Fears, and Facts
Many gay men fear psychiatric meds. Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explains how the right medication can restore—not change—who you are, separating facts from stigma and myths about treatment and mental health.
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Why Mid-Life Gay Men Still Use Hookup Apps — and What That Really Means
Mid-life gay men still use apps like Grindr or Scruff; not just for sex, but for social connection, validation, and visibility. Gay therapist Ken Howard, LCSW, CST explores desire, aging, open relationships, and how to use apps with intention instead of compulsion.
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Are All Marines Gay Bottoms? Military Myths in Gay Culture
Why do gay men joke that "the Navy's the gayest branch" or "all Marines are bottoms"? In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explores how these myths reflect cultural anxieties about masculinity, sexuality, and belonging. Through the Six Principles of Sexual Health and 30+ years of clinical...
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Gay Men and Post-Nut Clarity: What It Really Means
"Post-nut clarity" isn't just a meme — it reflects real neurobiological and psychological shifts that affect how gay men experience sex, emotion, and judgment. Gay men's specialist psychotherapist Ken Howard, LCSW, CST explores this normal post-orgasmic process through the lens of CBT,...
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Yom Kippur and Gay Men: Finding Meaning in Reflection, Atonement, and Renewal
Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explores how Yom Kippur's themes of reflection, apology, forgiveness, and renewal resonate for gay men. A secular take on the Jewish Day of Atonement, this episode invites you to let go of shame, repair relationships, and embrace bold renewal.
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Toxic Gay Currencies: How to Avoid the Attention, Sex, and Status Traps
Too often, gay men trade in "toxic currencies" like attention, sex, money, status, drama, and jealousy. They feel powerful in the moment but drain us over time. In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, shares what healthier currencies look like — and how to build a richer, more grounded life.
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From Obama to Trump: Understanding the Whiplash in American Politics Through the Lens of Minority Stress and Gay Men's Mental Health
Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, unpacks the political whiplash from Obama to Trump and its impact on gay men's mental health—exploring minority stress, cultural backlash, and strategies for resilience in a divided America.
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Gay Men Healing from Trauma: Why Substance Matters More Than Hype
Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explains why lasting trauma recovery for gay men comes from evidence-based approaches like CBT and Narrative Therapy—not trendy quick fixes. Learn how to move beyond shame, grief, and rejection toward resilience and authentic connection.
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When "Non-Affirming" Therapists Keep LGBTQ+ Clients for the Money: An Ethical Failure with Real Consequences
Some therapists claim to be "welcoming to all" while secretly holding non-affirming values about LGBTQ+ identity and gay men's issues such as sexuality. In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, exposes the harm, ethical breaches, and red flags of non-affirming therapy — and shows clients and…
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Gay Men and The Cinderella Syndrome: From Outcast to Adonis
Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explores "The Cinderella Syndrome" in gay men—the rise from rejection to confidence, and what happens when the glow-up fades. From body image to aging, learn how to build lasting self-worth, stay empowered, and thrive beyond appearances. Real talk, real tools, real growth.
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Gay Men as Adult Children of Alcoholics - How the Past Talks in the Present
Do you struggle with control, fear of abandonment, or always expect the worst? You might be a gay Adult Child of an Alcoholic (ACA). In this episode, Ken explores how unresolved childhood chaos shapes adult gay life—and how healing is possible
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Gay Widowers: Navigating Loss, Identity, and Rebirth
Losing a partner is devastating—especially for gay men, whose grief is often marginalized. In this episode, gay men's specialist psychotherapist Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explores the emotional journey of gay widowers, including AIDS-era losses, the five stages of grief, coping strategies, and how...
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Radical Erotic Aging: Gay Men, Desire, and the Audacity to Stay Sexy
Aging as a gay man can feel like becoming invisible—but it doesn't have to. In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, shares insights from 30+ years of helping gay men reclaim sexual confidence, confront ageism, and embrace desire at any age. It's time to get real about erotic aging—and radically...
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Gilligan's Island & The Seven Deadly Sins: What a 60s Sitcom Can Teach Gay Men
What if Gilligan's Island was more than a goofy sitcom? What if it was a mirror for gay men's internal struggles with shame, identity, and survival? This episode explores how each castaway reflects one of the Seven Deadly Sins—and how these moral archetypes echo the messages many gay men...
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Gay Men Overcoming Unconscious Barriers to Success
What holds us back from achieving our full potential? In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST explores the unconscious barriers many gay men face—like self-doubt, fear of success, cultural pressure to stay small, and toxic professional competition. With insights from 30+ years of clinical…
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Gay Men and Understanding Personality Traits: The OCEAN Model
Discover how the Big Five OCEAN personality traits—Openness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, and Neuroticism—can help gay men improve relationships, communication, and self-understanding, with insights from therapist Ken Howard, LCSW, CST.
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Flash vs. Substance: Pop Psychology Gurus vs. Real Clinicians
Tired of flashy social media gurus? In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, breaks down the difference between pop psych soundbites and real therapy that heals—especially for gay men seeking depth, substance, and actual growth.
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Gay Men and Coping with the Forms of Betrayal
In this episode, I explore the many ways gay men experience betrayal—in relationships, friendships, family, and professional life—and how we can heal from these wounds with clarity and strength. If betrayal has touched your life, listen in and consider therapy or coaching with me to reclaim your...
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Positive Masculinity for Gay Men in a Changing World
In this episode, Ken explores how gay men can reclaim positive masculinity—balancing strength, emotional intelligence, and authenticity amid today's political and cultural battles. Learn how evolving healthy masculinity empowers gay men personally, professionally, and within our larger society.
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The Success Principles for Gay Men: What We Can Learn from Jack Canfield
Gay men's specialist psychotherapist and coach Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, breaks down Jack Canfield's The Success Principles through a queer lens, showing how its life-changing tools can help gay men overcome internalized shame, build self-worth, and boldly pursue their goals. Ken shares practical,...
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White Lotus and Gay Men's Fantasies - The Teasing Taboo of Pop Culture
Therapist Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explores The White Lotus Season 3's buzzed-about gay incest story line, why taboo fantasies intrigue gay men, and how pop culture stirs both desire and discomfort. A candid look at erotic imagination, psychological nuance, and separating fantasy from reality.
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The Healthcare Hustle: What Gay Men Need to Know
Navigating healthcare as a gay man isn't just about checkups—it's about self-advocacy, access, and fighting systemic bias. In this episode, I break down the clinical, financial, cultural, and emotional barriers that make medical care more challenging for gay men, from dealing with dismissive...
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Legal Essentials for Gay Men: Protecting Your Future
Too many gay men delay vital legal planning—until it's too late. In this episode, Ken covers key protections like wills, medical directives, and financial security to safeguard your relationship from a psychotherapist's perspective. Learn how to take charge now for a secure and empowered future!
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
Gay Therapy LA with Ken Howard, LCSW, CSTA gay men's mental health, sex, and relationships podcastIf you've ever wished there were a therapy-informed podcast just for gay men, you're in the right place.I'm Ken Howard, LCSW, CST – a gay men's specialist psychotherapist, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, Certified Psychiatric Social Worker, longtime LGBTQ+ advocate, and gay men's life/career/relationship coach with over 32 years' experience working almost exclusively with gay male individuals, couples, and polycules.On Gay Therapy LA, you'll get more than clichés or recycled pop psychology. This is a deep-dive podcast for gay men's mental health, sex, and relationships—rooted in real clinical experience with thousands of clients over three decades.We talk about what actually shows up in gay men's lives:Mental health for gay men: anxiety, depression, trauma, shame, internalized homophobiaGay men's relationships: monogamy, open relationships, consensual non-monogamy, polycules, jealou
HOSTED BY
Ken Howard, LCSW, CST
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Gay Therapy LA with Ken Howard, LCSW, CST have?
Gay Therapy LA with Ken Howard, LCSW, CST currently has 222 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Gay Therapy LA with Ken Howard, LCSW, CST about?
Gay Therapy LA with Ken Howard, LCSW, CSTA gay men's mental health, sex, and relationships podcastIf you've ever wished there were a therapy-informed podcast just for gay men, you're in the right place.I'm Ken Howard, LCSW, CST – a gay men's specialist psychotherapist, AASECT Certified Sex...
How often does Gay Therapy LA with Ken Howard, LCSW, CST release new episodes?
Gay Therapy LA with Ken Howard, LCSW, CST publishes regularly with 222 episodes available. Check the episode list for the typical release schedule.
Where can I listen to Gay Therapy LA with Ken Howard, LCSW, CST?
You can listen to Gay Therapy LA with Ken Howard, LCSW, CST on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Gay Therapy LA with Ken Howard, LCSW, CST?
Gay Therapy LA with Ken Howard, LCSW, CST is created and hosted by Ken Howard, LCSW, CST.
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