PODCAST · society
It's Not Me, It's You
by Vanessa Castillo and Matthew Castillo
Love is messy. Dating is chaotic. And sometimes, it’s not you... it’s definitely them. Or is it? Join sibling duo Vanessa and Matthew Castillo (11 years apart but equally chaotic) as they dive into the wild world of relationships, fireside chat style. From ghosting and cringe-worthy situationships to long-term love and red flags we all ignore. Expect real talk, unfiltered laughs, and hard truths. Whether you’re single, cuffed, or somewhere in between, you’ll leave every episode feeling a little less alone, and a lot more entertained. Come for the laughs, stay for the relatable chaos. ♥️ 💔
Episodes
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Plenty of Fish in the Sea, but Where They At Tho?
They keep saying there are plenty of fish in the sea… okay, but WHERE THEY AT THO? 🎣😭 This episode, we’re trying to make sense of yet another mystery of modern dating: why start a conversation, show interest, exchange numbers, talk for days… and then suddenly disappear? Like, what was the...
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Play to Win: Dating, Self-Love & Finding Your Person
You gotta play to win. 🎙️❤️ This week, we’re joined by Natasha for a conversation that keeps coming back to one thing: the relationship you have with yourself. Because before you can figure out who you want to date, what you want from a relationship, or whether someone is actually right for you…...
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WTF is Modern Dating?
WTF Is Modern Dating? 🤦♂️💘 Seriously... what is going on out here? In this episode, we're unpacking the chaos that is modern dating. From ghosting and mixed signals to situationships, dating apps, "soft launching," breadcrumbing, and all the unspoken rules nobody asked for, we're trying to…
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From Horoscope to Horrorscope: Is He Cooking or Cooked?
EPISODE 16 This episode goes from horoscopes to straight-up horrorscopes real quick 😭 We sit down with our guest and get into his dating history (being in love not once, but twice, almost getting engaged, and all the chaos in between). Somewhere along the way, we start questioning if it was real...
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Red flags, Green flags & Everything in between
🎙️ Episode 15: Red Flags, Green Flags & Everything In Between (w/ Cosze) In this episode, we sit down with our guest Cosze and get into the messy middle of modern dating... the red flags, the green flags, and all the confusing signals in between. Like most of our conversations, it starts one…
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The "fun parts" of dating...
The Fun Parts of Dating (Yes, We’re Being Sarcastic) We had a little time before the year wrapped… so of course we hit record. This one’s off-the-whim, no outline, no filter, just us talking about the “fun” parts of dating (heavy sarcasm implied). From mixed signals, situationships, overthinking...
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The darkness of dating apps: Trust, but verify.
Dating apps aren’t just awkward anymore… they’re kinda dark. In this episode, Matt breaks down his real-life experiences on dating apps...from sketchy situations to straight-up fraud, and why “trust, but verify” isn’t paranoia, it’s survival. We talk about: The illusion of safety on dating apps…
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Be the Water, Not the Rock: Love, Fear & Finding Your Flow.
This week’s episode gets heated in the best way. Vanessa and Matt get real about love, fear, commitment, and whether past experiences leave us tainted or just more self-aware. Matt opens up about thinking he might’ve been in love once and why he doesn’t know if he’ll ever find love again. Vanessa...
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Protect Your Sauce: The Truth About Self Awareness, Energy & Relationship Types
In this episode, we get into the real foundations of dating, relationships, and self-awareness. Because the truth is: dating gets way easier when YOU know who you are. We talk:✨ the two types of single people (the ones who want to be single vs. the ones who absolutely don’t)✨ how dating & sex are...
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Gamer Girl Cracks the Code on Relationships
In this episode, we sit down with Jenny, who’s been in a loving relationship for three years and is building a future with her person. We dive into everything from sugar babies to self-love, and how knowing yourself is the real key to finding the right partner. Jenny gets real about not settling,...
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Chef Tavos & His Secret Sauce On Love
This week on It’s Not Me, It’s You we’re joined by the incredibly talented Chef Tavos; food truck king, flavor wizard, and culinary dreamer who’s out here making magic happen with the love of his life by his side. 🌮 ❤️ He’s serving up more than just mouthwatering dishes… he’s also dishing out…
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Little Brother & Lover Boy: A Born Romantics Guide On Relationships
In this episode, we sit down with Ethan Moreno (Matt’s little brother) to talk about something that’s rare but beautiful... finding real love young and keeping it strong. Ethan opens up about how he met his high school sweetheart, how he knew it was love, and the little things that keep their...
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Authenticity Is Sexy: Dating, The Roster & Self-Alignment
This week on It’s Not Me, It’s You Podcast, we’re breaking down "the roster", what it is, why people have one and how it ties into dating. We dive into authenticity in dating, the importance of synergy, and how knowing yourself sets the tone for the kind of love you attract. Whether you’re…
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Hardboiled & Hopeful: Single in 2025
It’s giving chaos, delusion, clarity… and confidence. In this episode, your favorite sibling duo is back in the studio talking all things modern love. From dating just to smash vs actually building something real, red flag hobbies, and everything in between. Matt introduces us to the term...
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No More Lateral Moves: Your Dominatrix Guide to Housewifing
She’s not your average housewife, she’s running the house, the schedule, and the bedroom. In this episode, we sit down with a real-life freaky housewife and talk about the power dynamics of love, control, and cooking in thigh-highs. No more settling. No more playing small. It’s time to upgrade…
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Getting Ghosted, Accountability, & Simple Communication
Ghosted again? Same. In this episode, your favorite chaotic sibling duo dives into the messiness of modern communication (or lack thereof). We’re talking about ghosting, breadcrumbing, avoiding hard convos, and why “just say how you feel” seems impossible for some. We also get into accountability...
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She Moved for Love. Now She’s Moving Different.
She left Boston for love. The love didn’t last. What came after… she’s still figuring out. This week on It’s Not Me, It’s You, we sit down with Lena the Stitcha... a guest who says less but makes you lean in more. She moved cities, changed chapters, and while she may not have all the answers, her...
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This One’s for the Group Chat: The Hoe Phase Exit Interview w/ LouieKillz
This one’s exactly what it sounds like... real talk, no filter. We sat down with our homie Louiekillz, an artist and self-declared reformed hoe, and let’s just say… the conversation got wild. From running the streets and not being ready, to trying to figure out what love even looks like now, we...
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Battlefield of Love: Rookie vs. Vet 🎙️💔 ♥️
Grab your drink and pull up a seat... it’s another fireside chat with your favorite sibling duo! In this episode, Vanessa (the “seasoned vet”) and Matt (the self-proclaimed “rookie”) go head-to-head on the ever-changing battlefield of love. We’re talking about dating do’s and don’ts, how intimacy...
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It's Not Me, It's... Our First Episode
Welcome to the very first episode of It’s Not Me, It’s You... a love, dating, and relationship podcast hosted by siblings who could not be more different. She’s the big sister: 11 years older, been in long-term relationships, and seen love from the inside out. He’s the little brother: never been…
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
Love is messy. Dating is chaotic. And sometimes, it’s not you... it’s definitely them. Or is it? Join sibling duo Vanessa and Matthew Castillo (11 years apart but equally chaotic) as they dive into the wild world of relationships, fireside chat style. From ghosting and cringe-worthy situationships to long-term love and red flags we all ignore. Expect real talk, unfiltered laughs, and hard truths. Whether you’re single, cuffed, or somewhere in between, you’ll leave every episode feeling a little less alone, and a lot more entertained. Come for the laughs, stay for the relatable chaos. ♥️ 💔
HOSTED BY
Vanessa Castillo and Matthew Castillo
CATEGORIES
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does It's Not Me, It's You have?
It's Not Me, It's You currently has 20 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is It's Not Me, It's You about?
Love is messy. Dating is chaotic. And sometimes, it’s not you... it’s definitely them. Or is it? Join sibling duo Vanessa and Matthew Castillo (11 years apart but equally chaotic) as they dive into the wild world of relationships, fireside chat style. From ghosting and cringe-worthy situationships...
How often does It's Not Me, It's You release new episodes?
It's Not Me, It's You has 20 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
Where can I listen to It's Not Me, It's You?
You can listen to It's Not Me, It's You on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts It's Not Me, It's You?
It's Not Me, It's You is created and hosted by Vanessa Castillo and Matthew Castillo.
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