PODCAST · religion
Kosher Queers
by Jaz Twersky and Lulav Arnow
Kosher Queers is a podcast with at least two Jews and generally more than three opinions! Each week Jaz and Lulav bring you queer takes on Torah.
Episodes
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101 — Shavuot in Cheshvan
Did you miss us? As a treat, we've crafted some deluxe Kosher Queers bonus material for you; here's all the short parsha summaries we did throughout the two years of making the podcast, all neatly collected in one place. Get ready for a lot of very rapid speech. Transcript available here! Tip us…
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100 — V'Zot HaBerachah: What If The Real Blessing…
This week, we talk about the dubious metaphor of Gog and Magog, name our city Pluralism and then rename it again, talk about crumbling empires, and reflect on what we’ve learned about the text over the last two years. We do that because this is our last episode of season 2 and thus, the formal…
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99 — Haazinu: Can I Get a Selah?
This week, we debate the unholy combination that is polyamory, ponder the beauty of limericks, flirt briefly with pornoprophetics, and talk frankly a lot about words related to "gadol." Transcript available here, but this week's transcript is also a little delayed due to the holiday, and the full...
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98 — Vayelech: Ice-Skating Tzadikim
Shana tova! This week, we talk about unsatisfying endings, concise prophets, and how a DM slide can be a radical gift of honesty. Also, the pluses and minuses of smooth roads, insufficiently Jewish translation choices, and what having four different answers to the same question means…
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97 — Nitzavim: Am Bartholomew Chai
This week, we are strongly in favor of having help (both from people and canes), have mixed feelings about Jericho walks, and dislike when trans people are rude about the ways other people are trans. Plus, being flirty but judgemental with G-d! Transcript available here. Here's the Cowbody Rap…
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96 — Ki Tavo: The Top Surgery of Kings
This week, we return to the text from our very first pilot episode, and take a fresh look at it two years later! We talk about taking some distance in different types of relationships to be able to return to them better, the importance of mourning, and excellent gay novels. Plus, no kings!…
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95 — Ki Teitzei: Queer Futurities
This week, we discuss metaphorical big-tent design, and the joys and perils (mostly joys) of not getting back together with your exes. Also, a reminder not to argue with randos on the internet and skepticism about people who talk in vague, idealitistic terms about "queer elders." Plus, journaling...
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94 — Shoftim: Go Touch Grass
This week, we ponder things that can be both liberatory or oppressive depending on the circumstances, discuss interesting translation choices, and compare divine retribution to "buy one, get one free" sales. Plus, thoughts about debt. Transcript here. The part of Job that Jaz was referencing…
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93 — Re'eh: SHABBATPISODE
This week, people are gay for Shabbat, the Shabbos bride brings a dowry of relaxation, and people re-write prayers to make them more gender-balanced, but forget that Judaism has more than four women. Plus, a formal announcement about what's happening at the end of this season of KQ! Transcript...
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92 — Eikev: What Makes a Parent
This week, we talk about bioessentialist familial claims, the metaphorical home renovations you need to do if you want to rekindle an intimate relationship with your estranged children, and gay math. Also, Lulav fails to pluralize in a language she doesn't know, and we touch the merest surface of...
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91 — Va’etchanan: All Flesh Is Grass
This week, we talked about creating accessibility rather than uniformity, finding joy for the future out of really tough situations, and keeping kindness on your person in as ordinary a way as wearing your clothes. Also, we shared our first consolation with you; tell us yours, either on social...
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90 — Devarim: When Your Kid Becomes A Cop
This week, we talk about paradigms of childrearing, giving people space for low-stakes disagreement, and also Kanye lines from 2010. Transcript available here. You can probably still do games on Dreamwidth. Also, Lulav is running and Jaz is playing a game of Heart: The City Beneath by Grant…
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89 — Matot-Masei: Born All at Once
This week, we talk about abolishing air forces, the human capacity to change large social institutions, and driving lessons. Plus, Jaz can't remember things about Christian theology but does know you can learn different lessons from history, and Lulav is always down to fight Hashem out back…
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88 — Pinchas: Treated Like Children, Acting Like Adults
This week, we learn about how if you see a stick in a dream, it's because G-d is sticking by you. Also, we diagnose Jeremiah with ADHD, discuss how new relationship energy can disguise problematic dynamics, and Lulav starts writing A Gamer's Translation of Tanakh. Transcript available here. Lulav...
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87 — Balak: The Rest is Commentary
This week, we talk about mountains as metaphors, Rashi's genital jokes, and being an anti-astrology gay. Plus, we debate anti-assimilation vs anti-colonial readings, and Lulav is a slut for economic interpretation. Transcript available here. Seen and Not Heard is a touching narrative podcast…
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86 — Chukat: The Other Woman's Son
This week, we discuss whether it's a good idea to tell your girlfriend your secrets and let her tie you up, unearned dramatic plot resolutions, and how rough a position messengers must have been in. Plus, what does it really mean to have land "belong" to a "nation" or a "person" anyway?…
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85 — Korach: Party Down In Stone Town
We brush up on Shmuel's reasons to hate kings, listen to him brag about not being a jerk, name a sheyd, make folk etymologies about a coronation party at Gilgal, and sneak a Degrassi reference in there. Also, in more serious news, we discuss our preferences for positive vs negative mitzvot and...
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84 — Shelach: Historical Hotties and Horrible Hebrews
This week, we discuss a sex worker who hangs out with a king, extremely inconsiderate invaders, and the vibes of different names. Plus serious dilemmas of moral relativity, words that mean "red," and overly horny Talmudic rabbis. We had to mark it explicit because the text is sexually explicit;...
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83 — Behaalotecha: He’s Not Being A Yankee
This week, Jaz is back, with some sad personal news but (with the benefit of Lulav's editing prowess) decent podcasting energy! We're talking about mistakes and new connections, condescending to unpleasant people who are nevertheless your people, and $2000 fancy dresses. Plus, elaborate wagon...
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82 — Naso: Angel's on First
This week, Jaz was out, so Lulav and guest host Iscah discuss role models who fight altogether too much, being way smarter than your husband, and having your prophesied child take after said husband anyway. They also revisit favorite motifs from Season 1 — like the oath of the nazirite and angels...
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81 — Bamidbar: SWERP
This week, we brought it back around to pornoprophetics by talking about Hoshea. Jaz and Lulav disagree about what level of reality to read the haftarah on, but both agree that the plain reading of this text describes a really gnarly dude being abusive to a sex worker and to their children...
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80 — Behar-Bechukotai: Bleep Around & Find Out
This week, we were joined by Jill Levinson, Jaz's good friend whose bat mitzvah happened on this Torah portion. We touch on a variety of topics, including BBYO, the nature of man, being a thirsty little desert flower, and cuckoo-lding. Full transcript here. Jill's erstwhile band is The Ruach.…
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79 — Emor: Big Transliteration would have you believe it's "zedakah"
This week, we talked hereditary leadership, divorce contracts, and illegal sweat. Plus vows in moderation, righteous people that were maybe actually just power-grabbing, and 5D Chess. Full transcript here. We really enjoyed 5D Chess. Here's a pretty good overview page on Zadok, and here's a good...
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78 — Acharei Mot-Kedoshim: Builders and Falconers
This week, we have a special guest on the show, Jaz's friend the Hawk, to talk about ghosts, patriotism, and big parental disses. Our transcript will be delayed this week unfortunately, but will be up as soon as possible. The poem Jaz quotes that opens the episode as an epigraph is "You've heard…
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77 — Tazria-Metzora: Magical Separatists
This week, Jaz has hot takes about major Jewish community events, Elijah's boyfriend says some unnecessarily cryptic stuff, and there are problems with magic systems. Also, there's discussion about magic and then different literary genres for a loooong time, so enjoy that. It even segues into a...
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76 — Shemini: Populist Dancing
This week, we discuss the holiness of workplace safety guidelines, the numerous possible interpretations of a woman with too little few lines on-page, deciding not to create a family with an incompatible partner, and suggestively dancing for G-d. Full transcript here. We played five dimensional...
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81 — 18 June 2012: Tefillin Modus
On this week's episode of "where jewing it man.", the very real podcast about the webcomic Homestuck that we have definitely been running since September 2019, we're talking about if gender is the same as species, why the Statue of Liberty lasts for billions of years, and as always, what on Earth...
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74 — Tzav: Mandatory Parent-Child Teshuvah
This week, we talk parallels between guillotines and ritual sacrifice, wrestle with ideas of Messianics and also a messianic age more generally, and point out that we apparently all have the power to rob G-d. Plus, there's a 300 year old prophet, and never a golden age. Full transcript available...
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73 — Vayikra: Made to Glitterify You
This week, we talk about how God needs to give humans scaffolds to learn, holy princes are turned to evil nonsense, a Jewish dude gets a tattoo, and there are some rad name shenanigans. Also, craftspeople are literally magical, but then you gotta take responsibility for the things you create.…
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72 — Vayakhel-Pekudei: Masculinity is a Solitary Prison
This week, we talk scent sensitivity, princes who are separate from the people, and which parts of gender are worth salvaging. Plus, pet peeves around new gender trinaries and special days in the calendar where the haftarah has literally nothing to do with the parsha (including this week)! Full...
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71 — Ki Tisa: Cleansing Vibes
This week, we talk pornoprophetics, which is a delight, and I guess some other things too, like the ritual impurity of a menstruator and the follies of C.S. Lewis' naming choices. Plus, being Jewish in public and avoiding a chillul Hashem. Transcript available here; unfortunately, we're currently...
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70 — Tetzaveh: Everlasting, Everchanging
This week, Isaiah is multiple people, G-d is fractal, and names are everlasting yet malleable and also full of family drama. Plus, converts are important and weather is confusing. Full transcript here. There's some more information about the origin of the fast day here and general features of…
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69 — Terumah: Nice.
This week, Lulav laughs about the episode number, but then we have to get down to the very serious business of distinguishing between fun gifts and war profiteering. Plus, very sweet eight-year-olds and very unsweet terrible kings. Also, there's lots of music excerpts edited in, so enjoy that.…
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68 — Mishpatim: Instead Of Fiscal Oversight, How About None?
This week, we discuss landlords abusing their power, bizarre managerial strategies, and the esoteric details of synagogue finances. Plus, random questions about vegetarianism and deciding not to trust everybody who shares an identity with you. Full transcript here. You can check out Travis...
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67 — Yitro: What's Up with the Lips?
This week, G-d wears a cute waterfall dress, Isaiah has hot lips, and we all pretend to be angels. Plus, bad survey design and gender-affirming conversion rituals that still involve small amounts of pain on sensitive areas. Transcript here (still in progress - only finalized through page 9)....
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66 — Beshalach: Oh My Darling, Devorah
This week, there are so many women in the story! By which we mean, a full three women, two of whom even get names. This we also get some sung folktales, a female friend who is too cool for you who you know is silently or not-so-silently judging you, and intermarried rabbis (meaning, of course,...
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65 — Bo: As Sure As Miami Is Above Water
This week, we talked about nations being destroyed and assuming that things will always be the same as they are now and also sang some Woody Guthrie, all while saying almost nothing about the news! Also, some thoughts on fairy cows from an angry man. Full transcript here. We encourage saying the...
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64 — Va'eira: Awful Animal Appellations
This week, we talk about ancient puns, trust in intentional living communities, the fallacy of safety, and and a cool crocodile. Plus, Lulav really enjoys some fanfiction and does some sewing. Full transcript available here. The fanfic that Lulav re-read recently and was inspired by is Truth and...
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63 — Sh'mot: Mitzvah Shmitzvah
This week, we're talking about visions of apocalypse, and also the name game. Plus, sometimes a prophet tells people that obviously, things aren't going to work out, and they laugh. Full transcript available here. This week's reading is Isaiah 27:6–28:13 and 29:22-23. Next week's reading is…
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62 — Vayechi: Specifically Instructed Not To Be Gals
This week, we talk about a king's hitlist, deathbed revenge speeches, trusting the state, and the dubious nature of certain Jewish claims to indigeneity. Full transcript here. Jaz made a knitted item using the pattern "Mountain Capelet" by Purl Soho. Here's the Matisyahu song that Lulav…
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61 — Vayigash: New Trans Bones
This week, we look at some fun goth performance art, which plays with bones and death and a messianic age. We also talk art curation practices, fanfiction vs canon, and the value or lack thereof of inherited roles. Full transcript here. The book with lesbians that Jaz recently read was We Set the...
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60 — Mikeitz: Fetch Me A Sword
This week, we learn about how camels are nonbinary, attempt to define what makes a "real parent," and dissect a famous story in which the women are way cooler than we were led to believe as children. (Like, for real, there are some single moms in this story who maybe do sex work and maybe are...
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59 — Vayeishev: On Occupiers' Time for 2500 Years
This week, we ponder creating your own separate traditions before returning to join the Jewish people, visions of angels and holy prosecuting attorneys, and calendars. Plus, some fun bonus stories of said prosecuting attorney messing with some rabbis. Full transcript here. Also, a neat fact that…
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58 — Vayishlach: The Prophecy of G-d's Secretary
This week, we read a very short books, take some digressions into more interesting stories, and discuss how power protects itself. Plus, Jaz would be bad at thievery because all they'd take are some children's books. (Btw, in case you were worried about how much crying was happening, we are okay!...
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57 — Vayeitzei: G-d as Domme?
This week, we talk about famed prophet and noted bad husband Hosea, learning from our pasts, and if "cow-kisser" is an insult (apparently, yes, but only as a way to tell off rich people). Plus, you get Biblical poetry served with extra bonus poetry on the side, and TSwift standing in a window…
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56 — Toldot: Respect for Music-Based Celebrity
This week, we discuss whether G-d is threatening people or whether a prophet is just a lady or nonbinary person super burdened by being a divine messenger and also super exasperated at their generation. Plus, a questionable mixed drink, an equally questionable bike ride, and some incredibly…
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55 — Chayei Sarah: The Prophet-Wife Tag Team
This week, we have an unfortunately timed conversation and totally coincidental conversation about the feasibility of coups. Plus, Lulav introduces us to Bigger Batsheva, we scoff at (and also honor) the idea of personal continuity, and encounter David being an extraordinarily messy bisexual....
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54 — Vayeira: Old Thou, Younger-Looking You!
This week, we talk about a cool trans Ishmael who is really good at her archery, an abundance of father figures and bio dads, and some cute gay prophets. Lulav also attempts — and absolutely whiffs — a literary reference derived from one of the kings mentioned. Here's a nonacademic summary of the...
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53 — Lech Lecha: Don’t Have Heroes
This week, we talk hammer-based encouragements, raptor husbandry best practices, and what's worth believing in or not believing in. Spoiler: parasocial relationships are not the way to go. Also we contemplate having the autonomy to make choices that the prophets don't approve of. Transcript...
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52 — Noach: It's The Captivity, Hazel Grace
This week, we spend like half the episode on background info, and in the back half casually try to figure out what love is, what our obligations to each other are, and if G-d can consent to people hurting us, so you know, just the easy stuff this week. Also, Lulav smushes together the English...
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
Kosher Queers is a podcast with at least two Jews and generally more than three opinions! Each week Jaz and Lulav bring you queer takes on Torah.
HOSTED BY
Jaz Twersky and Lulav Arnow
CATEGORIES
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Kosher Queers have?
Kosher Queers currently has 105 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Kosher Queers about?
Kosher Queers is a podcast with at least two Jews and generally more than three opinions! Each week Jaz and Lulav bring you queer takes on Torah.
How often does Kosher Queers release new episodes?
Kosher Queers publishes regularly with 105 episodes available. Check the episode list for the typical release schedule.
Where can I listen to Kosher Queers?
You can listen to Kosher Queers on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Kosher Queers?
Kosher Queers is created and hosted by Jaz Twersky and Lulav Arnow.
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