Legs & Eggs

Maniga Mia! An episode so good Elton John would eulogize it with the same song over and over and over again my friend aw you don’t believe we’re on the eve of deez nutz, son.So what we got? Everyone’s favorite virus! A whole lot of Johnny Damon cuz we saw him on the tee-vee and we’re like “WTF it’s John Damon now?” and he has big honkers. That’s why I marry him. You can dress him up real nice. You wants facts? We got facts. Potato facts. You can take that to the potato bank. It’s my second favorite kind of bank. We got a whole lot of bathtub stuff too. Bathtubs just keep coming up everywhere. In once bit I actually play the bathtub like a musical instrument. See if you can spot it! If you can, let us know!HOA Karen is back! WHAAA??? Yeah! Is she in a bathtub? Bitch, you know that shit’s about a pool! So let’s have a pocket pool party. You’re up, handsome. Chalk that cue.You can find all our information hereDon't forget to leave us a message 929-263-4165 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Holy shit it’s two episodes in, like, one week. You ever try fitting two things into one thing? It makes crumbs all over the place.This time we have FOX and JULIO from The Conspiracy Soldiers’ Podcast. We don’t even talk about conspiracies and only a little bit about soldiers. Also there’s no audible kissing. It’s all quiet and sneaky-like. Are they kissing? Who is kissing? We don’t know.All that and Heather is still on vacation. She does vacation things like drink wine and cry about Andy Kaufman. Klem poops a little too. You know how we do. Leave us a message 929-263-4165Learn everything you've ever wanted to know about us here Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Grease the skids. Skid ‘em good. Slide the wheel. Feel the steel. Banana Steele. That’s my name. My dad is Remington and I’m about to shave you nasty.Welcome back to Legs & Eggs, everyone. I’m your host Fupa Jones and we’re back with more sound. And more Shidder Mob. Goin’ Mobb Deep with Shidder Mob. So deep, so deep, it put Deepak Chopra to sleep. RIP Deepak. Spent the extra $129 on his pawprint. It has the same number of fingers as Rahm Emmanuel.You know what else? Heather goes to work! She also goes to Foxwoods and talks about cigarettes and elevators. There’s some dick stuff too. Just in general. Not necessarily with Heather. Though I wouldn’t count that out. I just wouldn’t expect it is all. Bok Choi Facts? Yeah, we got that. I sing a lot. Klem sings a lot. You know there’s chowder. All kinds and lots of it. And something called Thanksgiving Fart that I don’t remember what that is but it sounds promising.And holy shit, we’ve got not one but TWO John Wayne’s featured in this episode. Can you guess which two?Keep it 1600 my friends,Your darling Fupa Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Come and knock on our door. Come and sit on our couch. Come shine a black light on our couch and wonder what on earth can make a splatter that shape.Come get stripped down with us. We just chilling at home. We getting sensual under the covers. Klem drops a Top Ten in the tub. Heather smokes a cigarette and we haaaaaaaaaaangin’. We talkin’ bout practice. By “practice” I mean double penetration. That’s two penetrations going on at once. What is there to say about it? Does jet fuel melt steel peens? Let’s find the fuck the out. Let's get Intimate at the Melody Tent. Take a peek under our covers and let’s make some sounds under this tarp.*Why does Quentin Tarantino hate the metric system?*Because he likes everything expressed to him as feet.Love us more than Truck Month? You can find all our merch, social media, newsletter and more right here: https://linktr.ee/legsandeggspod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We have more Shidder Mob.It’s not a secret.We’re telling you right nowBefore you leak itHave you hugged your kid today? Specifically, have you hugged your kid in a Chinese restaurant on Cape Cod? Does your finger have a name? Is it Chester? Chester the Finger? I know a finger. His name is Finger. He hangs out with Hal but that’s a story for another time because we have more SHIDDER MOB and a whole bunch of other business to get to.So let’s get this business to the front. We have MORE SHIDDER MOB! We get into it — all of it — with A$AP SHID and The Shitman. Heather goes to the Casino. Heather also has eye problems but she also definitely goes to the casino. Klem talks toilet with her Toilet Talk and STUMP-O-MANIA runs wild on you! Fupa sings a lot.So strap on in. We’re gonna get some General T-Sow’s at the Tiki Port.Interested in our Newsletter? Maybe you want a Fupa Jones shower curtain. How would I know? I don't know you. But I do know you can find all that and more by clicking RIGHT HERE Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SHIDDER MOB IS HERE! A$AP SHID and THE SHITMAN from SHIDDER MOB talk all things Shidder Mob. We mob out to that shid. They’re in their prime strapping years. We strap it on and shid it out and when all is said and done it’s Shidder Mob. And boy does it get done. With Shid. Shidder Mob.And what else? We’ve got HEATHER’S SWEET VACATION PLANS for the Legs & Eggs throuple! Planes crash and placentas fall to the floor! We visit La Isla de Sensuá’ de Fupa Jones! We find out why Klem is green! Is it because of her Toilet Talk? Because we’ve got. that too! We’re just living the meme. The creme meme. Cadbury creme meme. My Cadbury creme meme team scheme starring Seal Team 6.Find everything you ever wanted to find for us by clicking this link ---> Legs & EggsWhen your'e done with the episode listen to Klem's favorite Shidder Mob Playlist Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's Election Season. Who doesn't want more election coverage? Everyone is so excited about the election. No one is tired. We've got some election predictions for you. We've also got other stuff. Lots of other things. Things like Fox and Julio from Conspiracy Soldiers. What Heather would do to Eminem if he asked. Fupa Jones sings and you'll love it. Klem Stump sings and you'll hate it. Enjoy this episode on the last day of Election Season.Find all our info here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Like sands through da muthafuckin’ hourglass, these are the LEGS & EGGS OF OUR LIVES!!!We’re back with a smooth one! Gaveen returns with Klem and Fupa. The three ball out and explore the world of space ghosts (different from the guy named Space Ghost, you’'ll see) while they get hype for Tubi Tuesday. All the while Heather cleans her house and drinks some Oreo coke! Klem poops a smooth one! Eminem becomes a grandfather! And holy shit, a song from our buddy Stewart from 21st Century Podcast. We got more Billy Joel hits plus all the cum farts and toilet talk you expect from Providence RI’s premiere adult entertainment breakfast show! You can even wear your cum socks!Find all our info here Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You’re a prebiotic soda. Yes you are. And you’re about to be drank by Heather. Oh yeah. That’s where you’re gonna become biotic. She’s your mom. She’s our mom. She’s everyone’s mom.Legs & Eggs: The Podcast is back. Back like Sir Mix-A-Lot’s baby. Heather shits on Billboard’s Top 10 Rock Singers list while simultaneously believing that Jon Bon Jovi should be on it. She also reviews food, like — you guessed it — prebiotic soda. There’s more with Fox and Julio from Conspiracy Soldiers who inform us that Barron Trump may have travelled through time and also talk to us about crack! Klem Stump takes a dump!When Eric Adams hears the song “One Of Us” by Joan Osborne he thinks “Yeah. What if I was one of you?”Subscribe to our SubstackFollow us on Twitter Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It’s 9/11. And Legs & Eggs is back again from the depths of your soul to the front of your face. Guten tag, bitchez! Guten tag!Today we celebrate the birth of Freedom Fries and the death of Saddam Hussein. Today we fly the corn muffin at half-mast. Today we remember to not forget. Celebrating with us for the first time ever is the one, the only GAVEEN! Let’s welcome Gaveen to the podcast! We've got new songs. We’ve got old songs. We’ve got cat hairs in our ears. We’ve got Bernie Kolfeld with more cyberknife information. Jet fuel may not melt steel beams, but this edition of TOILET TALK WITH KLEM STUMP sure will!Happy first day of 9/11 season everybody. Let’s see this bitch through to MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!Follow us on Twitter (@legsandeggspod)Subscribe to our Substack and stay up to date on all Fupa's poetry Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

OR IMMEDIATE RELEASE!Joe’s dropping out. We had thoughts. You need to hear them. Listen to Fupa, Klem, and Heather react to the news of Joe Biden dropping out of the Presidential race. We all know they’ve been holding him up Weekend at Bernie’s style for months anyway. They drone struck and missed Cher’s Diner and Joe got retired so Val Kilmer is now President for the next 38 days until Jojo Siwa becomes Doja Cqt and we all can walk again. Jesus H Motherfucking Christ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This morning Klem wrapped herself around me and said "you like me because I have big titties".Ladies and Gentlemen I present to you The Best of the rest of Klem Stump Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What can we say about Heather that hasn’t been said before? We can’t. It has all been said before because Heather is the most basic of all basic bitches. Heather invented basic. You’ve heard of NormCore. Well, Heather inspired it with her infinite power of basic. Being that basic can make a girl tired. And oh boy is Heather tired. She’s exhausted with all the stupidity in the world. She’d like everyone to shut up and let her enjoy a glass of wine and a cigarette. Heather’s a mom. She’s not your mom. But you wish she was. She’s America’s Favorite Wine Mom. Who doesn’t love moms? Want more Heather? You can get more Heather by subscribing to our Substack. Heather loves substacking. Or maybe you’re a freak who wants to call her and leave her a message. You can do that too. Heather loves messages. They make her happy. You want her to be happy, right? Don’t let your favorite mom down. Give her a call. 929-263-4165Embrace your inner basic bitch and get yourself a Heather tote bag. It’s perfect for bringing home a few bottles of wine and a carton of cigarettes. Heather would appreciate very much if you would follow her on Twitter.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Who is Fupa Jones? He’s a man with a plan. A rebel without a cause. He’s 3 children in a trench coat. Fupa Jones is all of us. He’s none of us. He’s an Actor, in a bathtub. It’s Fupa Jones’, the actor’s bathtub. The bathtub of Fupa Jones, the actor. Fupa Jones is a poet. A beautiful poet. A hopefully someday award winning poet. He’s the man who brought us the hits Spaceman Dan and Kobe Bryant is on Fire. Is he a drug addled podcaster from Brooklyn? Is he an anti government edge lord? He is all of that, and none of that, and all of that again until it doesn’t exist anymore and you are living in a fever dream of corn and chili dogs. Or maybe he’s not that at all. He’s more of a feeling, or a taste, or one of your other senses. Maybe Fupa Jones is touch? Is he touch? We know he’d love to touch Hunter Biden’s bare ass. Subscribe to our Substack to get all of Fupa Jones’ beautiful poetry. You like poetry, right? Everyone loves poems. Want Fupa to watch you urinate? Maybe do a number 2 every so often. Now you can with your very own Fupa Jones shower curtain. Don’t forget to follow Fupa on Twitter. He loves when you do that.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

All the Wolf you love to eat! This episode is like a burrito that’s choc full o’ Wolf Blitzer. You thought you knew Wolf Blitzer but you don’t know Wolf Blitzer like we know Wolf Blitzer so you ain’t got no fuckin’ idea what you’re talkin’ bout when you bring that weak-ass Wolf Blitzer shit into my Wplf Blitzer motherfuckin house motherfuckersWe got our friends The Dillon Street Boys from Swamp Talk with us this week. We got Heather educating us about her favorite Billy Joel song, River Of Dreams. And we get to hear all about her touching Mother’s Day. (Heh. Touching mothers.)We got our pal President George W. Bush reciting poetry! PLUS!! the world premiere of our new song FROGGY CHOO-CHOO! It’s about Klem and Fupa’s cat Curtis. We love Curtis so much. AND we dive back into the tub once more and go INSIDE THE ACTOR’S BATHTUB WITH THE ACTOR FUPA JONES!Jesus looks so sad. Probably cuz he’s on a cross. I wouldn’t look happy, I can tell you that much.Hey, do you like this kind of thing? Subscribe to our Substack. You get stuff like this all the time. It’s like having some friends you don’t have to clean up after or make dinner for or have an awkward conversation as you feel out if the neighbors are swingers or not and if you’re into it.And please, call our phone number in 929-263-4165 and say something to us. We love talking and hearing and listening to you, my sexy babies. It would make us so very happy. Once again that number is 929-263-4165 CALL NOW!!! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Before Bernie Kolfeld. Before Heather Facts. Before Toilet Talk with Klem Stump. Before Legs & Eggs there was a man, a woman, and a plan. It was a canal. It was a house. An Anal House.Legs & Eggs presents an episode of Anal House, Klem and Fupa’s first podcast which became the L&E you know today. These aren’t available anywhere. But we’re making this one available to you right now! So come on up to the house. Anal House. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Is Jelly Roll a Government plant? Our sources say maybe? Does Bono sculpt his chest hair? Yes, and you won’t believe what sculpting product he uses. Does Bright Eyes suck their own nipples? Reply hazy, try again.Also, Mayor Eric Adams tells you what you can you experience in New York. President Joe describes things in terms of how many 9/11s they are. And Klem gives you the hot scoop with her Toilet Talk!And that’s not all! What the fuck are Hot Cross Buns? Gaveen’s tummy! Bernie Kolfeld assuages your prostate concerns. Plus more from Fox and Julio from Conspiracy Soldiers podcast!I am the pilot, folks. And we’re all going down together. Because there’s no parachutes on this plane.Follow us on Twitter! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Yenshee Baby, baby! It’s been a while. Time to squeeze this baby out.We are so back. Backer than ever. Fox and Julio from Conspiracy Soldiers are here! Yes they are! We fucking around and finding out.Heather has baking stories. Klem eats cheese. Everyone has intimate relations with John Popper of Blues Traveler. Doctor Penis. Medicine Penis.ABC’s Head Of The Class stars Dan Schneider and Howard Hesseman.Subscribe to our Substack! We put giant teddies in those. Teddies like the lingerie, which was a thing. Look it up! (I meant to say "tiddies" but "teddies" works).Feel like buying stuff? Buy this stuff!Legs & Eggs merch! Want Heather to watch you poop? Well now she can, kinda! Get your own Heather shower curtain and those private eyes could be watching YOU!Do you enjoy singing? Maybe you like listening to terrible singing? Join Klem (and sometimes Fupa) for some karaoke in The Loading Zone.All your other problems can be solved by putting a dick in your mouth. The End. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This weeks Legs & Eggs is WKNY FM 201.2! Tune in, turn off, and have yourself a good scratch.It seems like only a few short years ago when Eric Clapton was birthed out of a series of transistor tubes and shot out on the radio waves, but that was 47 short years and one dead toddler ago. Time sure does fly when you’re eating seafood specials and having prostate cancer treatments. Why, I can remember being birthed out myself. My mother, bursting at her seams, thrusting me out into the loving arms of Dr. Phil who took one look at me and said “I didn’t know it was turtleneck season.”But times change with the weather. Turtleneck Season turns to Crew Neck Season and Backstreet’s back all right. And if those crew necks aren’t working out for you then it’s time to go to the Dick Store and buy a bunch of dicks with Spaceman Dan. (Spaceman Dan, who also assisted my mother during my birth.) It’s a bowl of Christ for breakfast and the Witnesses don’t want you to know that.Hello World. We here at Legs & Eggs know that it’s a cold, lonely existence out here as we all take that slow march towards dementia and death. But it’s gonna be okay because we are here to hold your hand through all the pain! We’ll get you feeling good-slash-better because we’re not doctors, we only play prostate cancer survivors on TV.In fact, to show you just how not alone you are, you can ask us questions anonymously on NGL! Ask us there, and we’ll answer on twitter! Our favorite responses will go on instagram. A few might even become a substack. You can’t win if you don’t play! Just follow us @legsandeggspod on Instagram and Twitter, then ask away! We’ll answer. We may not give you the answer you want, but you’ll get the answer you deserve. Because you’re special. Not like that awful Netflix show Special where the dude freaks out about poop on his dick, but also not-not like that either.You know what else we do on Twitter? Send out links to our online karaoke room. That’s right. You can come sing with us. Theres’s no set schedule but we do it a lot. We do it a whole lot when Klem is menstruating which happens either all the time or not at all because peri-menopause AMIRITE! So, lots of karaoke and we’ll show you how. Bring the big pads. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

New year. New podcast. New activewear! Find out just how active that wear is with your friends at Legs and Eggs! Why does Jimmy Smits looks like that? Why does Nick Turturro look like a flushed turd but his brother is cool AF? Why do we kill everyone Sipowicz loves?These questions, and more, will be addressed like Lincoln addressed Gettysburg.Which reminds me! Legs and Eggs is proud to introduce — wait for it — DOCTOR PENIS, MEDICINE PENIS! Who dat? You’ll find out!All that AND: We’ll make scenes at an Italian restaurant with David Brooks! The difference between Riverdance and Deliverance! Mayor Eric Adams for President! Leggo this Eggo!Are you worried you missed an episode? Having trouble finding us on social media? Well, have no fear! We know your struggle and have wrapped everything up nice and neat and even put a fucking bow on it. Just visit our website shows.acast.com/legsandeggs where you will find everything your little heart desires. We even have a link for StarMaker where you can sing karaoke LIVE with Klem!Our Patreon is where all the action really is. Early access, bonus content, Legs and Eggs swag, and if you dare to go Inside the Actor’s Butthole, Fupa Jones, the actor, will send you a signed pic of his butt. That’s right! Fupa’s ass can be framed and hung in your home! What are you waiting for?Have questions for any of the hosts? Want some advice about dry jacking or whether it is ethical to refuse a load? You can email us at [email protected] or leave a message on our Google phone number 929-263-4165. Drunk messages encouraged because those have been funny af.Click here to get your very own JOPants! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Leggers and Eggers, my dear friends, we are gathered here today to acknowledge ONE YEAR OF LEGS AND EGGS PODCAST! Year One is Done. Year Two is New! But we’re not there yet. Gotta celebrate that YEAR ONE with something special. Something authentic. Something like a butt but better. Like two butts. A third butt. Which is why we here today welcome you to the LEGS AND EGGS FIRST-YEAR ANNIVERSARY SPECTACULAR! It is the Third Butt of episodes, bringing you highlights from all throughout the year. We can watch each other change. Like the seasons. Or like when we were little kids and went to the pool together.It has been a year my dears and with that I bid you ENJOY THE SPECTACULAR! And do keep your eyes out, at it is that time of year again. Fupa Claus may just be one-cheek-sneaking something under your tree skirt this holiday season.Speaking of the holidays, one of those holidays is Christmas. And Christmas fucking rules for giving and getting shit. You best be doin’ it or you’re a bad commie bastard who might as well be Stalin you sack of gulag ass. Fortunately for you — and FREEDOM! — you can buy a whole of ton of Legs & Eggs merchandise that will satisfy ALL of your giving and receiving needs. Even that one where you pretend to talk to Michael Keaton. You thought I didn’t know about that. But I do. And I have. For a long time now. We have hoodies. You would look great in them. You know who else would look great in them? I bet you do. That’s kinda the point.Most evenings you can find Sara the Ruthless singing her heart out on the StarMaker karaoke app. Klem, Fupa, Heather, and even Captain Karl make appearances! Look for the No Loads Refused Cum Dump and follow SaratheRuthless. *We reserve the right to refuse any load. This is an 18+ room. Kids…you WILL get thrown out.To hear this episode and all past episodes, check out our website, shows.acast.com/legsandeggs. You can also find all our social media, our Patreon and anything else you would ever need to know about us! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It’s two in the afternoon here. Heather is really fucking drunk and off getting a recreational pap smear. Captain Karl the Sex Doll filled in your mom, and then filled in for Heather in this amazing collaboration we got going on. We have ANTHROPOS! What’s that you ask? We’ll let Alexander Wolf, of Wolf Mountain Workshop explain. “Alexander became wickedly jealous that Monte was able to be on the podcast promoting inc: The Podcast, very early in our current seasonal run, and he has harbored this hatred for as long as possible. In an effort to promote the heck-a-roonie out of their season before it ends in December, Alexander begged, pleaded, and finally sent some of his extra fingers through the mail to the Legs and Eggs podcast, at which point they agreed, but only if he provided them with some top-quality horror-ish fiction to read and act out on their stunning show. Knowing he couldn’t produce anything top quality, he sent more fingers (not extra this time), along with a script entitled ANTHROPOS. A deal was struck, and history made.” America’s favorite side piece Tommy J Shrimps is back. I think he kind of lives in the basement now. Like part-time. He goes somewhere else but there’s a mattress here and sometimes we find a Cheetos bag. Oh, and like always, we have the technical difficulties you all crave. The seasons are changing. The weather is getting cool. Keytar cool. You know what that means. Your sperm count is rising because your testicles are cooler, and cooler balls mean better swimmers during turtleneck season. It also means Legs and Eggs Hoodies! Stay cozy this fall and winter with your customizable hoodie from The Legs & Eggs Store. All your Groping friends will be wearing them. Choose your design, style, and color and have Legs and Eggs keep you warm and toasty. And if you are looking to redesign your bathroom or need something to wear to the Met Gala, we have shower curtains too!Most evenings you can find Sara the Ruthless singing her heart out on the StarMaker karaoke app. Klem, Fupa, Heather, and even Captain Karl make appearances! Look for the No Loads Refused Cum Dump and follow SaratheRuthless. *We reserve the right to refuse any load. This is an 18+ room. Kids…you WILL get thrown out.To hear this episode and all past episodes, check out our website, shows.acast.com/legsandeggs. You can also find all our social media, our Patreon and anything else you would ever need to know about us!Wolf Mountain Work Shop is Alexander Wolfe can be contacted at writingwolfe.com, or by searching inc: The Podcast. Alternatively, he can be summoned by prematurely burying a treasured and well-loved childhood plaything. He will find you. And you will sit together. And you will talk. Monte Monteleagre can be contacted at montedmonteleagre.com. But let it be known in this moment, that everybody, and I mean everybody, must walk the road they set their feet on.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We have three, count them THREE excellent guests this week! First, Lauren from the Well Behaved Women podcast is back! She joins Sara and Klem in a conversation with Uther Naysmith where they talk about UK politics and why he left the Labour Party. They also discuss Oppenheimer, how propaganda is mind control, and Julian Assange. Next, we welcome Bo Dunk, who is a Navy vet from Texas. He talks to Heather, Sara, and Klem about his military experience, how fucked up the VA is, and of course, politics. We give shout outs to some of our Patreon subscribers, Hillary’s Kill List, and a very special bonus song by Cancelled Tom Waits. So get comfy, grab yourself a can of creamed corn, and let’s go.Uther Naysmith is a socialist activist in the UK. He has a master’s degree in law with special interests in human rights and labor law. He has written articles and pamphlets for left wing organizations on topics ranging from civil liberties to a critique of capitalist contract law. Bo Dunk is a Navy veteran who also does freelance sticker design, stand-up hypnosis, a writer, and an advocate for poverty reduction and American rights protection. DM on Instagram if you are looking to discuss any issue, or email [email protected] and Eggs now has a YouTube channel! We’re taking requests…what do you want to see us do next? (No, we’re not doing that. Get your mind out of the gutter, loser.) Let us know by sending an email, call us at (*67 first to restrict your number) 929-263-4165, or send us a message on any of our social media accounts, which you access by visiting our website.I am asking nicely. I love you. We love you. Please give us a 5 Star rating and leave a little review. If you do and send us your address via email or Twitter (X) DM, we will mail you a postcard signed by at least half of us! Or just say hi. We’ll still love you. You can always go old school and call and leave us a message. We just put a fresh cassette in the answering machine. 929-263-4165You can find Sara the Ruthless most evenings singing her heart out on the StarMaker app. Klem, Fupa, Heather, and even Captain Karl (the doll, not the real Karl) make appearances! Look for the No Loads Refused Cum Dump and follow SaratheRuthless. *We reserve the right to refuse any load. This is an 18+ room. Kids…you WILL get thrown out. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

There are some really cool people in this world, and we have been so lucky to have talked to two of the coolest of the cool. First, we have more of Fupa and Heather’s interview with Fox from the Conspiracy Soldiers podcast where they talk about the unknown of Antarctica and everyone’s favorite pedophile, Jeffrey Epstein. Then Sara and Klem speak with Lauren Schill, a self-proclaimed Anarchist, from the Well Behaved Women podcast. They have a really interesting conversation about the different forms of government and what things like socialism, anarchism, and democracy actually mean. We also have Red Sawyer with All Things Shitty, Heather gives us the all-important BLT update, and get Fupa’s reaction to Lauren Boebert’s favorite way to enjoy the theater while we enjoy game night.You can find Sara the Ruthless most evenings singing her heart out on the StarMaker app. Klem, Fupa, Heather, and even Captain Karl (the doll, not the real Karl) make appearances! Look for the No Loads Refused Cum Dump and follow SaratheRuthless. *We reserve the right to refuse any load. This is an 18+ room. Kids…you WILL get thrown out.Let Klem and Fupa make your holidays a little merrier by celebrating Christmas in Brooklyn! This masterpiece is available as a print AND Christmas cards! We also have Sara Hates Christmas and Girl Boss Heather and more available at our store. Don’t sleep on these, there are limited quantities, and we don’t want anyone to miss out. Keep up with all things Legs and Eggs, like our new Bluesky account, by bookmarking our website shows.acast.com/legsandeggsDon’t forget to rate and review the podcast and send us your address in the 911 ways you can reach out to us. DMs are open, you can even call us 929-263-4165. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome back fan favorite, America’s Side Piece, Mr. Tommy J Shrimps! We had some insightful conversations about sharting, Shaq and Vern Troyer, and Klem has questions about the male anatomy that Mr. Shrimps and Fupa were eager to answer. We also had an interesting chat with a man who calls himself GOD. Yes, that’s his name. He gave us his perspective on tons of different subjects, and Klem may or may not adopt him. There is also Hillary’s Kill List, Florida Man, and so much more! Don’t forget to leave us a 5 Star rating and a review then DM on Twitter or email us your address, and we will send you a postcard signed by all four of us!The seasons are changing, the weather is getting cool. You know what that means. No, you basic bitch, not pumpkin spice lattes. Legs and Eggs Hoodies! Stay cozy this fall and winter with your customizable hoodie from The Legs & Eggs store. Choose your design, style, and color and have Legs and Eggs keep you warm and toasty. If you are looking to redesign your bathroom, we have shower curtains too. You can find Sara the Ruthless most evenings singing her heart out on the StarMaker app. Klem, Fupa, Heather, and even Captain Karl (the doll, not the real Karl) make appearances! Look for the No Loads Refused Cum Dump and follow SaratheRuthless. *We reserve the right to refuse any load. This is an 18+ room. Kids…you WILL get thrown out.To hear this episode and all past episodes, check out our website. You can also find all our social media, our Patreon and anything else you would ever need to know about us! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Twenty-two years. The Deuce-Deuce. Dos Equis but with towers instead of horses. Did we forget? We would never. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We have two, count them, TWO of the nicest and most likeable guests this week! First, Fupa and Heather talk to Fox from the Conspiracy Soldiers Podcast, who happens to be one of the coolest podcasters in the business. He is just sick and tired of what is going on in the world. He also agrees that Billy Joel has a punchable face, so that instantly makes him one of us! Next, we have J Hizzle to give us a firsthand account of two of our favorite things here at Legs and Eggs: The Cape Cod Melody Tent and The Barnstable County Fair. We gave her the hard-hitting questions about what she saw, what she smelled, and how many mullets there were. We also have the return of fan favorite Inside the Actor’s Bathtub, Hillary’s Kill List (RIP Vince Foster), and next year’s Tony Award winning show “Dry Hump: The Musical”. Have you checked out the all-new Legs and Eggs website yet? No? Then what the flippety fuck are you waiting for? You can listen to all our episodes, visit all our social media (Hey, we’re on Insta now!) plus, do all your holiday shopping early at our incredible merch store! Just click here to start the fun!Want more Legs and Eggs? Of course you do! Join our Patreon for things like bonus content, signed pics, a Christmas card, a guest appearance, and most important of all, our loveOur County Fair t-shirts are back in stock after selling out (except XS. Who wears XS?). Get em while they are hot and check out all our other designs and products on our store.I am asking nicely. I love you. We love you. Please give us a 5 Star rating and leave a little review. If you do and send us your address via email or Twitter (X) DM, we will mail you a postcard signed by at least half of us! Or just say hi. We’ll still love you. You can always go old school and call and leave us a message. We just put a fresh cassette in the answering machine. 929-263-4165Have you ever wanted to sing in a No Loads Refused Cum Dump? Well here is your chance! Just download the Starmaker app and look for Sara the Ruthless for you chance to sing LIVE with Sara! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we welcome Lucas Daniels from the podcast Broken Shovel: Homesteading for a Sustainable Future. He talks to Sara and Klem about living a self-sustaining lifestyle and lessening our reliance on Capitalism by commerce, trade, and helping within our own communities. He also makes his own hot sauce! Plus, what would Karl do with a life-size Karl doll? We get serenaded by J Robert Oppenhiemer. Heather has road rage and Fupa tells a tale about his good friend Nick Carter. You can check out Lucas’ podcast on Apple, Spotify, and anywhere you listen to podcasts. Simply click here for information, bios of Lucas and his two cohosts, Eric and Lily, and of course, episodes of the podcast.When you join our No Loads Refused Patreon, you’re the tops! Not a twitter-blocking bottom at the aforementioned cum dump event. Show the world how alpha you are with YOUR VERY OWN EPISODE OF LEGS & EGGS! You tell us what you want to do, and we do it with you.* Just like your mom. Long and slow with the finger in the hole. *(Legs & Eggs reserves the right to refuse. Like, we're not gonna show hole or do that thing Max Cady from Cape Fear tries to make the mom and daughter do when they're in that boat. Or the end of Requiem For A Dream. Not doin' that shit.) We now have a YouTube channel that is sure to make all future Cornographers and Puppeteers give up on their dreams because no one does it better. NO ONE.If you are looking for easy access to Legs and Eggs social media, all episodes, t shirts, and more, we put it all together for you on our fancy website. Bookmark or Favorite that biatch so you never miss one second of Fupa Jones, the actor, or a song from Big Dick.Wanna chat? Tell us about your day? Maybe you are looking for No Fap advice? Call us at 929-263-4165 and restrict your number using *67. We don’t wanna know who you are. You can always email us at [email protected] too. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It’s August 10, 2023, so Happy Jeffrey Epstein Didn’t Kill Himself Day for all who celebrate! We have jam packed so much in this week’s episode! Obviously, we talk about losing a National Treasure—Pee Wee Herman. We have Tommy Shrimps back answering No Fap, and we deep dive into conspiracy theories; how they can start, why some people believe them, and how there can usually be some truth to some (most?) of them. We find out once and for all if Karl is real, and the return of Hillary’s Kill List.Have you checked out the all-new Legs and Eggs website yet? No? Then what the flippety fuck are you waiting for? You can listen to all our episodes, visit all our social media (Hey, we’re on Insta now!) plus, do all your holiday shopping early at our incredible merch store! Just click here to start the fun!Our Patreon is where all the action really is. Early access, bonus content, Legs and Eggs swag, and if you dare to go Inside the Actor’s Butthole, Fupa Jones, the actor, will send you a signed pic of his butt. That’s right! Fupa’s ass can be framed and hung in your home! What are you waiting for?I am asking nicely. I love you. We love you. Please give us a 5 Star rating and leave a little review. If you do and send us your address via email or Twitter (X) DM, we will mail you a postcard signed by at least half of us! Or just say hi. We’ll still love you. You can always go old school and call and leave us a message. We just put a fresh cassette in the answering machine. 929-263-4165 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

From a hotel in Atlantic City, this week’s guest is world renowned social media influencer, Tommy J Shrimps! Mr. Shrimps takes time away from looking for HPV infected cigarettes to talk to us about ethical load refusal, the difference between Vegas and Atlantic City, his stupid cousin, and we show him the Dick Store. We also have Florida Man, more Vermin Supreme, and Klem tells us her Top 10 Horniest Billy Joel songs and why. Looking for Legs and Eggs unedited? A little behind the scenes action? Maybe a mug to hide your wine in. Join our Patreon and choose Heather’s Wine O’Clock tier and get those plus so much more. She even has some secret cocktail recipes she is willing to share. Pop the cork, baby!You can send us your thoughts, your comments, or our favorite, tell us to fuck off. Email us, call us at 929-263-4165, or if you’re all paranoid about your caller id and shit, leave us an anonymous voicemail.T-Shirts! T-Shirts! Get your Custom Legs and Eggs T-Shirts! There are hundreds of options. Choose your favorite color and style, and then which graphic and BOOM! Customized shirt! You can also get a nekkid Fupa Jones shower curtain. You know you want him to watch you poop. Don’t forget to download the StarMaker app and look for Sara the Ruthless to sing karaoke LIVE with Sara! Just don’t be creepy. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Happy Truck Month for those that celebrate! Have you put your decorations up yet? It’s next on our to-do list because we have been too busy. Sara the Ruthless has been stuck in traffic and is SICK AND TIRED of the damn tourists on Cape Cod. Fupa has been back in his hometown visiting with his younger brother. Heather had an uninvited guest. Klem is losing it over the humidity, climate change, corporations, and Ukraine. Legs and Eggs Productions is getting a copyright and we’re gonna be rich! Plus, Anarchy, Communism, and Affirmative Action, OH MY! But tomorrow, we decorate.We’re also behind on our celebrating because of fucking technical difficulties. One time. Just one time, we’d like all our equipment to fucking work when we start. It’s really turned into a 20-minute fiasco every time we try to be professional and record. Ok, professional is pushing it, but you get the picture.We told you guys! We told you! If you call us, we will play it on the show! 929-263-4165 These voicemails weren’t for us though, they were for Hunter Biden. We are lucky enough to have the audio of Hunter playing his answering machine. He REALLY enjoys listening to his messages.Wanna be like all the cool kids? Well, then it’s time to join our Patreon! Everyone’s doing it, so you know it’s awesome. Trailer Sailor’s Abortion will give you things like exclusive content, a shout out on an episode, Legs and Eggs swag, and most importantly, a tarot reading by the one and only Sara the Ruthless.We know you added our phone number to your contacts already, so stop being lazy and add our email address in there too. And don't forget to call. We miss you. [email protected] merch store is a great place to go when you have had a couple and have your credit card out. Screw Amazon. Bezos is already a billionaire. Shop small. Shop Legs and Eggs. Check out all our exciting merch.Don’t forget to follow us on Facebook and Twitter Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We are so excited to introduce this week’s guest, the one and only Reggie Jason! He talks to Klem and Fupa about some of their favorite topics…Hunter Biden, the Titan Submersible, and the (failed) Russian coup. What a week it was! Sara teaches us a little bit about who Cornel West is, and Heather is now obsessed with Napoleon’s penis. Buckle up, this is a wild one! Want more Legs and Eggs? Of course you do! Join our Patreon for things like bonus content, signed pics, a Christmas card, a guest appearance, and most important of all, our love. Just go patreon.com/legsandeggs.It’s officially summer which means you need a new t-shirt to impress while you are sitting poolside. Well don’t fret my pet, we got you covered! Just head over to Society 6 Grab yourself a matching shower curtain while you are at it.Bored? Looking for someone to talk to? Call us! 929-263-4165 You can also leave a voicemail or send us an email. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is Episode 27 of the Legs and Egg Podcast, and to commemorate this special occasion, we introduce you to The NerdoDivergent Podcast. You all remember our guest, The Bearded Turner, from Epsidode 22, I Can’t Believe It’s Not Buttah. He’s back with his friends Ninz and Widz and together they have created a hilarious podcast and we had so much fun talking with them! You also get another snippet of our conversation with Chad, and all the other things you know and love about us! Guess who is selling out? That’s right! We are! The good news is, it’s all going to benefit you! Want exclusive L&E content? Bonus episodes? Maybe a signed print from Klem. A tarot reading from Sara (WHAT? Hot Damn!). Signed drawings from Heather. Or maybe, just maybe, you want a signed photo of Fupa Jones’ hairy ass. Well, here is your chance! Just go to patreon.com/legsandeggs!We love you and would love to hear from you! Call us at 929-263-4165, email us, or even leave us a voicemail! Tell Heather she is super annoying. Tell Klem her voice is like honey. Tell us to shut the fuck up. Just call, we’re lonely.Our County Fair t-shirts are back in stock after selling out (except XS. Who wears XS?). Get em while they are hot and check out all our other designs and products on Society 6 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we talk to Chad, who is a really interesting person. He is a disabled vet and a former long-haul truck driver. He had some great stories for us, and lives in an actual haunted house. We have a song from our friend Stewart of the 21st Century Podcast (follow him on Twitter!), Florida Man, and, after you hear the story, you will never look at raw chicken the same way.Our t-shirts have been flying off the shelves! I get it. A Legs and Eggs T poolside is hot. Get one for yourself, or maybe start holiday shopping early, at our merch store Society 6.Who doesn’t love karaoke? Who doesn’t love Sara? Well, here is your chance to sing with Sara, LIVE! Download the StarMaker app and look for SaratheRuthless.Have something to say? Maybe you’d like to be a guest on the show. Or leave Fupa a dirty message. Give us a call! 929-263-4165  Email us, or leave us a voicemail. Don’t forget to leave us a 5 star review!!! Oh Yeah, follow us on Twitter Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We’re back bitches! An all new, better than ever episode is ready for your listening pleasure! This week we have No Fap, The Origin of RickRoll, Florida Man, a sure billboard-topping hit, written and performed by Fupa Jones, and of course, the four of us just being, well, us. Our t-shirts have been flying off the shelves! I get it. A Legs and Eggs T poolside is hot. Get one for yourself, or maybe start holiday shopping early, at our merch store Society 6.Who doesn’t love karaoke? Who doesn’t love Sara? Well, here is your chance to sing with Sara, LIVE! Download the StarMaker app and look for SaratheRuthless.Have something to say? Maybe you’d like to be a guest on the show. Or leave Fupa a dirty message. Give us a call! 929-263-4165  Email us, or leave us a voicemail.Don’t forget to rate and review! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week’s episode is going to be a compilation of some of our favorite clips. We are taking a week off to do some behind the scenes retooling and will be back next week with an all new episode. Plus, Fupa bought some Swiss cheese and we may need to have an intervention.Love karaoke? Sara does! Download the StarMaker app and look for SaratheRuthless. Sing with Sara and chat live! It is an absolute blast!Klem has been adding some amazing designs in our merch store, Society6. Snag yourself a t-shirt, and our shower curtains and canvas prints make great gifts!Send us an email, call us at 929-2636-4165, leave a voicemail, or comment and tell us what you think. Tell us a joke. Prank us. We want to hear from you! If you are offensive enough, we’ll play it on the show. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week, we have more of our conversation with the amazing Brianna, who is such a fun person to talk to. We talk more politics and why it is all just so freaking messed up. Plus, a certain child actor who is now an absolute hot mess, and anything else that popped into our heads.Here at Legs and Eggs, we love to hate politics and politicians. The majority of them just suck. There are ways to fix it, and Klem has a plan. Klem Stump 2024! Brianna is so happy not to be living on the east coast anymore. The humidity! The chafing! The sticky scrotum! No more Gold Bond for her! How about that artwork, eh? You guys are loving the t-shirts! Who is going to snag a hoodie? It’s not too early to start Christmas shopping! Check out all our designs on Society 6.We want to hear from our readers and listeners! Tell us your favorite episode! If you ask nicely, Klem will autograph a can of breadcrumbs for you! Send us an email, leave us a voicemail, or call us at 929-263-4165. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we have the rest of the interview with Joseph Longwell, The Bearded Turner. He is such a good guest. We talked about anything and everything this week. Some toilet humor, some politics, (wait, isn’t that the same thing?) and of course, some Billy Joel.How did Billy Joel propose to his fourth wife? The Bearded Turner has the inside scoop. There is so much more in this week’s episode! You can hear the podcast in its entirety on Spotify, Apple, or anywhere you get your podcast.Guys. We have T Shirts. And Hoodies. And Crewnecks. Oh Mah Gawd. Choose a style. Choose a color. Then choose your fave L&E. It’s that simple! Just go to our merch store at Society 6.Call us 929-263-4165.  Email us, send a voicemail, or leave a comment. Prank us. Be funny. Be gross. Be a guest!!! Let us know your favorite things about our podcast. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Another week, another episode of Legs & Eggs. We have Stewart from 21st Century Podcast with us again, and more from Herp Burglar.This week’s episode is so good. Right out of the gate, we start off by discussing make out point and where they were when we were kids. Of course, the conversation evolves to Pickle Park, which are two very different places. We also came up with a side hustle for Karl. Herp joins Klem and Fupa and talk about the good ole days…you know, when Herp and Fupa showed holes. SMH Also, pubes.Klem and Sara have an excellent conversation about how everyone has lost their damn minds. Why can’t people just be normal????Vampire prostitutes. Justin Bieber. Did Fupa celebrate his first pube? There is so much going on in this clip. Also, Stewart needs to join us again. (I was sick so I did not have the pleasure. H)You can listen to the entire episode and all past episodes on Spotify, Apple, or anywhere you listen to podcasts.Klem Stump does an AMAZING job on all the artwork for the show! Interested in a Heather in Tretorns throw pillow? How about a nice canvas? You can get them and a whole lot more at our merch store at Society 6PLEASE. WE ARE BEGGING. Fupa is on his knees. Rate the show. Leave a comment. Send an email or leave us a voicemail. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

So much is going on this week! Herp Burglar stops by and he's exhausted! Sara and Klem discuss what it means to support the troops. Heather has all the facts, laws and GWB quotes you need. And Fupa is, well, Fupa.Get your very own Sara the Ruthless throw pillow. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week Gallo from Sucias Are My Favorite joins us to talk about his podcast, ethical non monogamy, and so much more. We also have Deep Throat to talk with us about glory holes, sexuality, and religion. Don't forget to get yourself your very own Heather tote bagIf your're looking for a glory hole, check out Glory Hole Locations Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week Jro from Bring It podcast joins us to talk about LARPing, No Fap, and Corey Haim. He also tells us about his invention The Milking Glory.Dad sneaker. That’s all that needs to be said for everyone to know exactly what we are talking about. Oh, and Klem’s stinky feet.Sara wrote a jingle for Jro’s invention, the Milking Glory (patent pending). What, you ask, is the Milking Glory? You are about to broaden your knowledge.Fupa tells us the “real” story behind how Baby Jessica fell in that well.Heather asks everyone’s thoughts on Joe Exotic for Prez 2024. (This is only acceptable to me if there is another Netflix series coming. Otherwise, zip it. H) Plus, the same question…WHERE IS CAROLE BASKIN’S HUSBAND? And which tiger ate him?Listen to the entire episode and past episodes on Spotify, Apple, or here. Please rate and review. We’re close to begging. Leave us a comment. Anything!You can email the show [email protected] or leave us a voicemailDiggin’ all the artwork? You can buy your very own Sara the Ruthless wall mural or throw pillow! Merch store at Society 6 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we have Stewart from 21st Century Podcast filling in for Heather while she was recovering from her annual cervix scraping. He kept us entertained while we had Heather in our thoughts and prayers. We also have more of the lovely Brianna, who we found on the glory holes location subreddit.Check out our really cool art, and maybe buy yourself a shower curtain Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh hey, it's Herp Burglar! And we're taking Ted Cruz to Vegas. That's right! Not only that, we've got Joseph Longwell, The Bearded Turner, to turn some wood with us baby!You can check out The Bearded Turner videos here. Follow him on twitter for some hilarious tweets. @beardium Be on the lookout for Herp's new channel, All Emergencies All The Time. For now you can follow him on twitter. @herpburglarDon't forget to buy your Fupa Jones shower curtain Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's Comedy Night at Legs & Eggs! Glory Holes! Hunter Biden's answering machine! and so much more!GuestsWayne Cooper from Poo Finger Podcast Rob "MaxABV" Valincius from Drink O'ClockPleasure Lane BriannaCheck out our really cool art and buy some!!!If you're looking to find a glory hole check out Glory Hole LocationsEpisode Art by Herp Burgler Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The L&E crew needs a damn break. This week you are getting the best of the mediocre. Clips of past episodes that were just…meh. We’ll be back next week all new, but in the mean time, enjoy a compilation of our favorite crap. Email: [email protected]:https://society6.com/talulaspongecake/designs Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we have Rob “Max ABV” Valincius from Drink O’Clock to talk about mumble rap, John Fetterman, and Cop City. We also have more Pleasure Lane for you, include part of his interview with a guy who works at a Glory Hole. As always, we have facts, songs, and more Trailer Sailor. Email: [email protected]:https://society6.com/talulaspongecake/designsYou can find Drink O’Clock here https://www.drinkoclock.beerIf you’re looking to find a Glory Hole in your area, check out the subreddit r/gloryholelocations Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

That’s right! This we have special guest Pleasure Lane on to tell you everything you wanted to know about Glory Holes. Hunter Biden answering machine is back! And so much more. Email: [email protected]:https://society6.com/talulaspongecake/designsIf you’re looking to find a Glory Hole in your area, check out the subreddit r/gloryholelocations Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Glory Hole Hunter Biden Tail People Barnstable Bar Meat Swap Meet Melody Tent Email: [email protected]:https://society6.com/talulaspongecake/designs Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we have Glory Hole Etiquette straight from an expert from the r/GloryHoleLocations subreddit! We have Klem’s review of The Anal Birth of Bert. Monte from inc: the podcast makes an appearance. Email: [email protected]:https://society6.com/talulaspongecake/designsYou can find inc: the podcast here https://incthepodcast.buzzsprout.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.